btw the diss track is on Spotify now 😏 ps about the physics thing I was talking about how they’re travelling IN A CIRCLE and that’s why I was bringing it up!! I’m not stupid trust me!!
I saw this before i reached the disstrack and i low-key thought Kurtis edited himself spitting actual fire while in a Pinocchio costume which i would've expected more
Fun fact: Paulie shore initially thought that the casting call was a prank call and didn’t think they were serious. But….nope. The directors asked for him by name and had him in mind for the English dub from the beginning. He even responded several times asking if they were 100% sure they wanted him for the role
Fun fact: there's a condition called "honeymoon nose" or "honeymoon rhinitis" which is basically when some people's nose become engorged when they're aroused because there's erectile tissue in the nose so if you ever sleep with someone who has this condition you can in fact see a nose somewhat grow in front of you
I like how the clip of kurtis saying “what do i nose” got progressively shorter and shorter each additional time it was used till it was barely anything more than the twinkle sound effect
pinocchio coming to life and immediately screaming "ALIIIIIIIIVE" in the voice of a middle aged man like he's doctor fucking frankenstein absolutely sent me
that "so long, butterface" is just so funny to me, with the cat going in slow motion with a mask and a gun. It's so funny out of context and even in context
Fun fact: there's another English dub that was produced in Russia that seems to have the same script, but different voice actors. "Skedee skedee skedee" is NOT in this version, meaning that yes, it was probably improved.
@@user-himenes possibly... they might be Russian or have access to Russian media? They literally just know there's another dub, why so skeptical are you a cat?
i’m pretty sure “believed to be by evil spirits” meant as in her home is believed to be surrounded or near evil spirits, but also it’s in no way delivered properly to get that across correctly
well, the movie was based on the disney cartoon about pinocchio and also tale about his russian version -- buratino ("Golden key, or the adventures of Buratino" by Tolstoy), so they could sell it in russia and outside of it, too (russians already know how bad our own 3d animations are, so they don't earn much in theaters). buratino has mostly different plot from pinocchio, but the only things it has in common with this horrible movie are dreams about theater, blue-haired girl (in the tale her name is malvina and she is just one of his friends), villains which are a cat, a fox and the owner of the puppet theater, also his nose is not growing, it's pretty long already at the start. btw russian version is pretty light-hearted than original story and buratino is not becoming a real boy in the end, he stays as a wooden doll, because the main themes of the tale are friendship, helping others and creating a better life for the ones you love, while pinocchio is all about self-improvement and becoming an entirely different person.
I’ve come back to this video so many times and it never fails to astound me that Bella straight up tells Pinocchio that she doesn’t even like him (15:33) and then slams the door in his face I understand lying to him but she did NOT have to go off like that 😭
the whole point of creating pinnochio was so that old man didnt have to be lonely anymore and the first thing pinnochio does is immediately try to leave him 💀💀
im sorry but a wooden boy becoming sentient and the first words out of its mouth being *"ALIIIIVE"* in paulie shores voice while ragdolling onto the floor is the funniest shit I've ever seen
Met Pauly Shore at a radio station where he was being interviewed. He was chill asf. He gave me a high five & asked my name on his way out of the station after the interview. I was kinda in awe but not because of his celebrity status but because he went out of his way to be nice. 10/10 would do again.
Why did they add circuses in acrobatics in the movie now I’m going to associate this with psychonauts. Psychonauts is a game about a acrobatic 10 year old from the circus who runs away to become a psychonaut. Someone tell me the name of the song. I don’t think it’s a good idea for all circuses to be like: “ my kid ran away to become a psychonaut, and he made out with a random girl he just met “ Psychonauts is my favorite game series and I don’t want to associate it with this movie
What’s with this guy dunking on millennials for liking Disney stuff in his millennials video (and that dunking is fully justified), but is watching and making videos about Pinocchio? Does he always lack this much self-awareness?
@@anti-ethniccleansing465 this movie wasn’t made by Disney and Pinocchio is not owned by Disney. It’s not that you lack this much self awareness it’s that you lack this much knowledge. Also Mulan, Snow White, Cinderella, and basically vast majority of old Disney movies do not own the concept, only their particular story.
@@41052 That was probably the most hilarious cope I’ve ever seen. Congrats! Lmfao. Everybody knows of Pinocchio because of Disney’s famous cartoon that made the story known by the masses, and caused everyone to associate the story to Disney. Ask anyone on the street, and they will tell you it’s a Disney story. Your sad attempt to use a pedantic argument as an excuse of Kurtis’ lack of self-awareness/hypocrisy is the cringiest thing ever. There’s good reasons why white knights are a laughing stock. They do shit like that.
@Ks Aww, how precious. The white knighting duo that can’t admit to Kurtis’ hypocrisy. Oh, and thanks for the heads up that this is a YT video. You’re a sharp one!
Ive seen a few of these and they are usually the ones that deviate the furthest from tbe source material 🤣 its honestly so funny, but they got some balls to declare that "this one is the truest true one to ever truth ever, none of these other ones could bruh"
I love that this movie likely resulted in some children acting out the funny bits and shouting at their mom's friend as they leave _"*So loooooooooong Butterfaceeee!"*_
I frankly can’t believe you didn’t say anything about the part where they decide the horse is going to be his new temporary father while they’re at the circus and Pinocchio calls him “dad” multiple times.
Fun fact: in the original book (and implied in the Disney movie.) Pinocchio is an attempt by japededolo to grieve, specifically by the loss of his son.
say what you will but i think Pauly Shore’s voice acting makes this movie 100 times more hilarious. the delivery on some of his lines makes me laugh so hard it hurts
Kurt is actually the first ever person I've seen talk about this movie who has acknowledged that English isn't the original language, like every other dude just bashes on the voice acting and pretends like they're the original actors, if the lines sound weird it's because they're dubbed, and that's what every dubbed movie has to go through but since they've never experienced that before they want everything to be perfect, and don't get me wrong, the movie would still be trash even if the dubbing was perfect but these people just act as if they owned everything, it's good to see at least some people still acknowledge the existence of other languages instead of trying to make everything revolve around English.
Not me 2 years and many rewatches later just realizing that when Kurtis says (24:05) “what that clown said earlier” he is, in fact, referring to the man’s profession and not just calling him a clown as an insult… don’t know how I didn’t realize that earlier… 🤡
How are there not more comments about how lyrically complex the song is, the rhyme scheme is crazy. I can tell you put a lot of work into it Mr. Mayor, and it absolutely paid off
@@constonks love it lol. Know your rights when breaking the laws of physics. Breaking the lightspeed barrier might seem fun, but did you think to consult your attourney?
10:42 knew exactly what you were referring to here. it's "they who casteth stones ought not to live in glass houses", aka "bro, says you; dont be a hypocrite"
Just in case anyone's curious, the movie being originally Russian makes a lot of sense. It was probably based on the "Russian interpretation" of the story, Burattino / Буратино. It introduces the duo of the fox and the cat, the love interest with the blue hair, this whole circus scam thing. Also the main character's nose never grows in that story. I honestly had no clue it was that far from the original tale lol
Yeah, I was raised on soviet versions of movies (like buratino, Alice in Wonderand, Winnie the Pooh…). Ive actually never seen the originals. The 1970s Alice is extra weird tho. But I like the artstyle, strangely.
I can't even truly say it's "Russian interpretation", more of a "hey, I heared some cool idea, I want to make something completely different with my own political commentary thrown in". Buratino is a surprisingly deep story tbh, with criticism of police, capitalism, slavery etc So it's kinda like if you read Bible and then make Matrix with some allusions to Christ, you know? XD (exaggerating a bit but still :))
@@oulafursson yeah, that's why I put the parentheses, I wasn't sure what to call it. Either way the plot is so ingrained in our minds that seeing Westerners shocked was an eye-opening experience for sure
honestly, and i'm not being sarcastic here. Those lyrics SLAPPED. Like actually, you killedddd it with the rhyming schemes and incorporation of puns and it just WORKED SO WELL. Fantastic job, I would loveee to see you write more music, non-parody style even.
here's my support for inkbox: i scrolled through every single design they had and eventually came across a duck wearing a little party hat riding a skateboard. the design was called "party boy."
Let me get this straight: You comment something that is unrelated to the fact that I have two HEAVENLY HANDSOME girlfriends? Considering that I am the unprettiest RUclipsr ever, having two handsome girlfriends is really incredible. Yet you did not mention that at all. I am quite disappointed, dear tuc
I've been writing a script for a Pinocchio horror movie: Pinnochio, after becoming human, grows up and comes to believe he made a severe mistake. Seeing himself age, and the death of his father, Pinnochio seeks out a means to revert back to wood, since human flesh is weak.
russian here. i got slightly suspicious when i saw the design of the new "pinocchio", and further in they got confirmed. this is *not* pinocchio, and i have no idea why they called it that! theres a russian fairytale called buratino, which is basically a slavic version of pinocchio with a slightly different story and characters, and this new pinocchio and the other characters look highly like an old ussr cartoon of buratino! the main character looks like buratino, with his pointy hat and golden locks. Bella is literally just Malvina, a blue haired girl that ran away from a circus/puppet show thing. the circus owner himself looks like a copy of Karabas Barabas, the owner of the puppet show in og story. and the fox and the cat.... well, they didnt really change, except maybe fir the fact in the cartoon i think the fox was a woman there are characters missing (such as my favourite character- the sad clown Pierro who was in love with Malvina and was writing her sadass poetry lol), and overall the story feels butchered both if you look at it as pinocchio remake and as a buratino remake. buratino never joined the circus! or had a horse! or was so yassified, after all in og buratino was, again, a whole ass capricious stupid wooden toddler at first i thought they named it pinocchio only for the foreign audiences to get attention, but turns out in russian its called the same, which is.. a mystery to me, honestly. would've it been called buratino it'd honestly be a bit better, rus audience would know it better and foreigners wouldn't have had such confusion, and got to see some russian culture lol the film still sucks. maybe im just biased because they removed my favourite character. no pierro, -5/10, would not recommend. better off watching the og buratino movie even tho iirc its only in russian (if anyone's interested, its called The Golden Key. also thats the name of the book the story originated from) Edit: an edit 11 months later because i got annoyed. just a reminder that Buratino is an adaptation of Pinocchio. read the og book/watch the og cartoon and realise how different it is from the actual Pinocchio tale. a lot of old ussr/older than that media and content were adaptations of Western stuff due to unavailability and overall "closedness" of the country
Man, this comment made me feel nostalgic 😭💝 I feel like this movie is a big disgrace to both Buratino and Pinocchio, from what i can tell it looks like a cheap mock up of bunch of “stolen” ideas from both tales. It’s almost like they integrated the two in a form of an awkward crossover and got this horrendous of a result. anyways, Malvina and Pierro supremacy
I'm shocked he skipped the part where the cops caught Pinocchio and gagged him, then the horse backed his ass up into the camera and kicked the cops into a tree and THAT was how they reconciled.
This movie is actually perfectly translated and wonderfully voiced, because it makes you go through exactly the same experience as me, a russian dude, when I watch english movies or games dubbed into russian
since when are Russian dubs wonderfully voiced?? It's all that one dude with a cold. don't know about perfectly translated either more like on the go with original still audible in the background
@@caitlynstreeca6817 I think what OP meant to say was that this movie gives the same frustration and confusion as movies and games dubbed in Russian...
@@RedditchRamblings You have to understand that this movie was shot before it was intended to be released worldwide (or at least in the U.S.). As far as I'm aware, the film was made in Russia with Russian voice actors, and then the english voice actors came in later. If I had to guess, Lionsgate (the distributor for US) didn't care who voiced it, so they gave creative freedom to the ADR director/directors. They probably chose someone cheap (hence Pauly Shore, Tom Kenny, Jon Heder, etc.) because they already knew the film was eh. It gave them a chance to make the dumbest, weirdest childrens film possible, and even Pauly Shore himself recognizes that on his RUclips channel. He has now become the Yassification Queen, and no one will take that from him.
I'm russian and I'm pretty sure this is more based on Buratino than Pinnocio. Buratino is basically a Russian version of Pinnocio but with a lot of differences (no growing nose, it was literally just a log that came alive and became a doll, he encountered a slave circus with other toys and stuff, there were a fox and cat bandit and a weird blue haired girl and other things similar to the movie). I think it's kind of a mix of both? It's so weird. Thank god I've never seen it
It really is, Buratino is a very popular shall we say... rewrite of the Pinocchio story to the point most people have never read the real Adventures of Pinocchio or seen the Disney version, just the Soviet movies - the animated one and the live-action one. No one gave a fuck about copyright then lmao, there's also Russian 'adaptations' of Winnie the Pooh and Wizard of Oz that are half fanfiction half copyright infringement. I've never seen the Disney movie either, but the fox and the cat were in the original Italian story too. The blue haired girl in this movie is neither Malvina from the Russian story nor the Turquoise Fairy from the original fairytale.
Ah so that's why i don't find the cat with a gun thing weird in this movie... I'm not russian but my grandma managed to get a dvd of that version of Pinocchio and that's the only Pinocchio movie I've ever seen. But in the version i watched he was still called Pinocchio.
Seriously, that diss track was FIRE! 🔥 Especially 26:32 😂 Pauly Shore saying “Thank you Daddy” as Pinocchio isn’t something I would have EVER thought I’d hear in a rap track (for so MANY different reasons), but DAMN if it doesn’t take it to the next level! Hilarious as usual.
it seems like it's taking elements of Buratino, the "Russian version" of Pinocchio, which uses a bunch of elements of Pinocchio but has a few key differences, including the fact that his nose doesn't grow when he lies
Big fan of how the first time Pinocchio and the cat meet, it is established that he cannot be harmed by the cat's gun. And then later the cat tries to rob Pinocchio with the same gun.
@@AAAAAA-613 That's fair, but, surely, as bulletproof Pinocchio, your first move at that point would be to go *between* your horsey friend and the gun. I do like that the cat goes to the trouble of putting a bag over his head but doesn't change anything else about his extremely-distinctive personal accessories, though. It's like wearing a balaclava for your gas-station robbery and not understanding how the clerk still managed to identify you as the only guy in town who habitually wears one of those inflatable T-Rex costumes.
I've never seen someone more mortified to be alive. HE GETS UP YELLING, "ALIIIIVEEEEEEEeEEEeeeEEeeee" and then stumbles around, struggling to walk. That's kinda realistic, actually.
btw the diss track is on Spotify now 😏
ps about the physics thing I was talking about how they’re travelling IN A CIRCLE and that’s why I was bringing it up!! I’m not stupid trust me!!
A good mayor AND a good physics guy? What a legend
@@Nitrolord I believe that’s just called… being kurtis conner
Lmao
That diss track went HARD
You
The rap is incredible...
But what do I nose-
Nice
David the baker
Holy crap, the narrator from EzPz watches Kurtis Conner…?
ruclips.net/video/4XS84FiFUUw/видео.html Finally it's here.
😂😂😂
- old man makes a puppet because he is so lonely
- it immediately comes to life, steals his horse, leaves him more alone
ruclips.net/video/BRPTnAu8yYo/видео.html
slay.
The REAL story!
That’s really sad
To be fair, the mountain pass is by evil spirits.
I didn't know "Kurtis Connor dressed like Pinocchio spitting fire" was gonna be something I experienced today, but holy shit am I glad.
im SO glad i didnt look in the comments beforehand bevause this was the best random song i have ever heard
I've seen so many commentary youtuber raps and... Those may have been some of the hardest bars from a non-rapper i've ever heard lmaoooo
how do i add this fire dis to my playlist
Honestly … that was an extraordinary experience
I saw this before i reached the disstrack and i low-key thought Kurtis edited himself spitting actual fire while in a Pinocchio costume which i would've expected more
The nose did not grow once during the diss track, he literally wasn’t lying!
He was spitting fire the entire time and didn’t catch *on* fire, hes a real boy and real boys dont lie
lmfao reminds me of that meme that's like "when pinocchio is roasting you but his nose doesn't grow"
The more you nose
@@tls_snt_hreNOOOO
@@sejianimates1735hero pfp behaviour
The Pinocchio coming alive scene is actually the funniest thing i've seen all day
“I’m a boy and I’m alIIIIIIVVVEEEE-“ always gets me istfg
It sounds like a fan silly dub
I thought he was gonna say he edited that part but no it's fucking real
@@thismustbeisaac fr 😭
I know right??
Fun fact:
Paulie shore initially thought that the casting call was a prank call and didn’t think they were serious. But….nope. The directors asked for him by name and had him in mind for the English dub from the beginning. He even responded several times asking if they were 100% sure they wanted him for the role
Lmao
He said, and I quote:
"Are you (Paulie) Shore about this?"
@@uhhhhh2672 ah of course, his classic catch phrase
So they said he should sound more gayer???🤨
Source?
The repeating joke getting cut of a little more every time is so funny
i agree, his comedic timing is impeccable
peak of comedy
that’s funny but what do i nos without an e
b
Fun fact: there's a condition called "honeymoon nose" or "honeymoon rhinitis" which is basically when some people's nose become engorged when they're aroused because there's erectile tissue in the nose so if you ever sleep with someone who has this condition you can in fact see a nose somewhat grow in front of you
w h a t
squidward
Get bella on my face imma start fibbing
new fear unlocked
😳😳😳😳😳
Judge: "Why did you murder this child's parents"
Accused: "I thought it would make for an extremely interesting story"
Witness: "When can I leave to be on my Ownnn~!"
This is the plot of Batman.
That kid is now Batman so it worked
@@m_gwb 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@m_gwb I was just gonna say-
I like how the clip of kurtis saying “what do i nose” got progressively shorter and shorter each additional time it was used till it was barely anything more than the twinkle sound effect
I giggled every time
Spolier
but what do i nose
Its Pavlov's Dog experiment; we laugh at the sound of the twinkle, even if there's no punchline.
reverse pinocchio
That cat is unhinged and I love him. He immediately shot Pinocchio which makes him my favourite character
Man really was ready to kill a child on sight
@@sneakysnek572 You would do the same if you were a talking cat with a gun
@@sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shoot a child on sight? 😂
And you know what was right to do so
gun violence among sexy, rotund 19th century cats is a big issue
“I’m stumped” “let me ask you an equestrian” love these puns. 😂
pinocchio coming to life and immediately screaming "ALIIIIIIIIVE" in the voice of a middle aged man like he's doctor fucking frankenstein absolutely sent me
I need to watch this movie now cause I can’t stop laughing
Dude, he's yelling and stumbling around like a sloppy drunk divorced man. It's hilarious
I started giggling
im sitting in class watching this and i was trying not to snort
I lost my composure at work
that "so long, butterface" is just so funny to me, with the cat going in slow motion with a mask and a gun. It's so funny out of context and even in context
He's like that bod is fine AF but that mask is a no-go and that's clearly representative of your face underneath
Timestamp?
@@lies1 17:37 !
@@danic4553 thank you!!
@@lies1 ofc!
There’s a Bomb and It’s Gonna Explode has no business being as much of a bop as it is, catches me off guard every time I make it back to this video
fr, kills me every time
😂
real, its such a banger
22:50 for anyone who needs it
only kurtis could make a rap dressed as pinocchio and still look cool
id try to dissagree but,
what do i nose
@@dogouchu4356 When i tell you i W H E E Z E D
@@asingularsock07 same here man lol
And the diss track is actually fire too😂
“Ska-dee ska-dee ska-deez nuts motherfucker”
i think my favorite part of this video was how the “what do i nose” joke kept getting cut back further and further
love that hooty pfp
thank you💅
The hooty pfp slays 😩
Cut back... like wood...
@@otakuinred But what do I no-
I am 100% convinced Pauly showed up drunk and cold read the entire script with no re-takes.
I like this theory
no he just sounds like this all the time
he unfortunately just sounds like that. watch a goofy movie. it worked for bobby but not with this.
@@Sammyyaam I have been a massive fan of him since the 90s. Lol I know his accent. I still stand by what I said. :P
@@Sammyyaam Goofy Movie was fun. But Encino Man, Bio Dome, and Son In Law are where it's at. :)
Love the first instinct from the cat was to light Pinocchio tf up
Yo Pinocchio, THIS AINT YO BLOC 🔥🔥
IM SORRY THE “thank you daddy! ska-dee ska-dee ska-dee ska-dee!” FUCKING SENT ME
FR 😂
LOTERALLY LAUGHING SO HARD
@@jaidyn4823 loterally
@@douglasc0unty lootrally
"ska-dee ska-dee ska-dee ska-dee RDAHHAH!!"
I don’t care what anyone says, cutting off “what do I nose?” is the funniest fucking thing. Also, can’t wait to see you on tour!
I clicked the link and I won one billion dollar! Yay!
exactly :)))))))))
Yeah, him putting a midroll after the cutoff really was genius
Fun fact: there's another English dub that was produced in Russia that seems to have the same script, but different voice actors. "Skedee skedee skedee" is NOT in this version, meaning that yes, it was probably improved.
a genius....
Pauly Shore is truly a visionary
How and why would you know that, are you an expert on this movie wtf
@@user-himenes possibly... they might be Russian or have access to Russian media? They literally just know there's another dub, why so skeptical are you a cat?
Plus the characters mouth didn’t move-
So it really was improved 💀
And the studio was perfectly okay with it
i’m pretty sure “believed to be by evil spirits” meant as in her home is believed to be surrounded or near evil spirits, but also it’s in no way delivered properly to get that across correctly
“get bella on my face imma start fibbing” was insane
literally came here looking for this comment thankyou 😌😭
literally fire
ive rewatched this video a couple times now and that part still takes me a second to get because its so genius. true poetry in our time
“Thank you daddy 😇”
this took me a hot sec when he said it but he’s an evil genius
it’s weird that they completely removed the nose thing, which is literally the thing pinnochio is most known for.
But this is the TRUE story 😂
YO
I wasn't expecting you, pretty cool seeing you here!
THATS TRUE LOLLLL
yeah cause in the russian version his nose doesn’t grow, he just keeps ripping everything apart with it💀
well, the movie was based on the disney cartoon about pinocchio and also tale about his russian version -- buratino ("Golden key, or the adventures of Buratino" by Tolstoy), so they could sell it in russia and outside of it, too (russians already know how bad our own 3d animations are, so they don't earn much in theaters). buratino has mostly different plot from pinocchio, but the only things it has in common with this horrible movie are dreams about theater, blue-haired girl (in the tale her name is malvina and she is just one of his friends), villains which are a cat, a fox and the owner of the puppet theater, also his nose is not growing, it's pretty long already at the start. btw russian version is pretty light-hearted than original story and buratino is not becoming a real boy in the end, he stays as a wooden doll, because the main themes of the tale are friendship, helping others and creating a better life for the ones you love, while pinocchio is all about self-improvement and becoming an entirely different person.
“let me ask you equestrian” absolutely and violently murdered me i lost it i just lost it
Ska-dee ska-deez nuts
So fricken good hahahah
right lmao
lyrical mastermind
Put Bella on my face, imma start fibbin'
I’ve come back to this video so many times and it never fails to astound me that Bella straight up tells Pinocchio that she doesn’t even like him (15:33) and then slams the door in his face
I understand lying to him but she did NOT have to go off like that 😭
I’m so glad he addressed “skadee skadee skadee” lol nobody else has on RUclips and it KILLS ME
Most "normal" thing in this movie
Nostalgia Critic addressed it
so has cosmonaut picture show. at least it’s in their video
I'm crying and about to pee because of it 😭😭😂💀🤣😭😭
this was the one thing about this movie that made me laugh hard
the whole point of creating pinnochio was so that old man didnt have to be lonely anymore and the first thing pinnochio does is immediately try to leave him 💀💀
father, when can i leave to be on my OWNN
@@hexhollows I've got the whole WORLD TO SEEEE
@@fishysc0okielife worldussy**
@@fishysc0okielife skidEE skidEE skidEE
@@hexhollows ive got THE WHOLE worldussy 😩
im sorry but a wooden boy becoming sentient and the first words out of its mouth being *"ALIIIIVE"* in paulie shores voice while ragdolling onto the floor is the funniest shit I've ever seen
Understandable
Honestly i start cry laughing thinking of this scene lol
Haha same
Then the part when he literally gets capped by a blunderbuss-weilding fat cat screaming Mamma Mia. 10/10
Watching this on 420 on 4/20 = double 💀
Met Pauly Shore at a radio station where he was being interviewed. He was chill asf. He gave me a high five & asked my name on his way out of the station after the interview. I was kinda in awe but not because of his celebrity status but because he went out of his way to be nice. 10/10 would do again.
What's with all the non-human characters freaking out about a wooden boy? Imagine Dracula laughing at you because you believe in werewolves.
Why did they add circuses in acrobatics in the movie now I’m going to associate this with psychonauts. Psychonauts is a game about a acrobatic 10 year old from the circus who runs away to become a psychonaut. Someone tell me the name of the song.
I don’t think it’s a good idea for all circuses to be like:
“ my kid ran away to become a psychonaut, and he made out with a random girl he just met “
Psychonauts is my favorite game series and I don’t want to associate it with this movie
What’s with this guy dunking on millennials for liking Disney stuff in his millennials video (and that dunking is fully justified), but is watching and making videos about Pinocchio? Does he always lack this much self-awareness?
@@anti-ethniccleansing465 this movie wasn’t made by Disney and Pinocchio is not owned by Disney. It’s not that you lack this much self awareness it’s that you lack this much knowledge. Also Mulan, Snow White, Cinderella, and basically vast majority of old Disney movies do not own the concept, only their particular story.
@@41052
That was probably the most hilarious cope I’ve ever seen. Congrats! Lmfao.
Everybody knows of Pinocchio because of Disney’s famous cartoon that made the story known by the masses, and caused everyone to associate the story to Disney. Ask anyone on the street, and they will tell you it’s a Disney story.
Your sad attempt to use a pedantic argument as an excuse of Kurtis’ lack of self-awareness/hypocrisy is the cringiest thing ever.
There’s good reasons why white knights are a laughing stock. They do shit like that.
@Ks
Aww, how precious. The white knighting duo that can’t admit to Kurtis’ hypocrisy.
Oh, and thanks for the heads up that this is a YT video. You’re a sharp one!
The diss track unironically slaps. Missed opportunity for a line about "Wooden Acting"
Underrated comment
I thought it was kinda scary. I was petrified.
@@randomslomo1875 naw broo lmao
honestly he should’ve given the ORIGINAL original pinocchio a verse
deadass it was actually rlly good
I absolutely love the power move of starting your retelling of a popular story by denouncing all other versions as fiction.
"WELCOME TO ALL THINGS SCO'ISH. IF ISS NOT SCO'ISH... ISS CRAP!" --Mike Myers
Ive seen a few of these and they are usually the ones that deviate the furthest from tbe source material 🤣 its honestly so funny, but they got some balls to declare that "this one is the truest true one to ever truth ever, none of these other ones could bruh"
@@nany_quinhathat's kind of a joke, it isn't supposed to be taken for granted
@@BLET_55artem55 i know...? I was joking too
LMAO FR
I love that this movie likely resulted in some children acting out the funny bits and shouting at their mom's friend as they leave _"*So loooooooooong Butterfaceeee!"*_
Kurtis dropping an absolute BANGER at the end of the video as if he didn’t just change the game completely for music
i should have realized that kurtis was a master at his craft when he dropped blood related
holy shit that diss track was so cleverly written and enjoyable, unlike the entirety of that movie
Ikr
like it was actually so fucking good
"Got Bella on my face, gonna start fibbin'" sent me into orbit.
It sounds like something noel would write
Fr holy shit . That was hella dope 😂
I frankly can’t believe you didn’t say anything about the part where they decide the horse is going to be his new temporary father while they’re at the circus and Pinocchio calls him “dad” multiple times.
I’m sorry- WHAT
WHAT THE FUCK HAHAHAHHSDHYHG
HAHAHHAHAH WHAT
HMMM???
Seriously, it was one of the weirdest parts of the movie
27:37 ok but why was that literally fire
Can we just talk about the absolute BARS this man is spitting?
Freaking FIRE 🔥
Scrolling the comments for someone talking about kurt boy spitting 🔥
@@bluebel1857 I know right, same!
I am so mad it's not on spotify so I can repeatedly play it until I get sick of it
@@alaskabane5340 I did find this though. ruclips.net/video/Hd0-zVeO5OI/видео.html
Pinocchio's stereotypical twink voice really haunts my nightmares.
It feel like this movie hate crimed me personally
it's the twink appearance for me
@@elisecode2212 I thought you were referring to me for a hot sec and I was like
"I mean you aren't wrong but what-??"
Wordussy
Oh, we all know what you look like, Casper
"I've got the whole worldussy~"
The diss track was too good to be just a bit. Genuinely hilarious writing and the perfect palette cleanser after the monstrosity that is this film!
If you watch it drunk is not that bad ✨ word!
True there were some BARS
skedew skedew sdez nuts- has healed all my ailments
“Get Bella on my face ima start fibbin’ *hey daddy*” HAS ME ROLLLLINGGGGGG
Bars on bars in that diss track
Fun fact: in the original book (and implied in the Disney movie.) Pinocchio is an attempt by japededolo to grieve, specifically by the loss of his son.
Not japedo lmaoo (it’s Geppetto)
The spelling of Gepedo is killing me 🤣
Lmao I know.
“Once Pinocchio recovers from the gunshot” is my new favorite sentence
Merica 🫡
@@bovinityleak2066true
@@bovinityleak2066 ah yes, pepper
Pinocchio is a real boy ... a real boy in an American high school
@@bovinityleak2066 Russia actually
The fact that the rap sounds sick even in 2x really says something, those bars were straight up firewood
💀💀
firewood
LMAO FIREWOOD💀
U JUS SOME DRIFTWOOD
Yeah dude I was impressed
The “let me ask you equestrian” part was absolute gold.
I stopped the video and fell to my feet laughing. 😂😂😂
@@TobyIsAWoman you fell to your feet??
@@willnotshutup he stopped ascending from the meditative state he entered while watching the video
@@charliehigginson7990 ah, makes sense
this line was used in the movie 'It takes two" 1995
Holy fucking shit how does Kurt make a song about Pinocchio, with multiple ball jokes and a yo momma joke sound so fucking fire?
the beginning when the horse is talking is like a persuasive essay i’d write in middle school
i have to admit, if i were a 54 year old man and i got an offer to voice pinocchio i’d have a very hard time saying no
yes
yes
yes
yes
No.
pinocchio's initial behavior upon awakening is oddly reminiscent of gooby.
dave pfp 😳😳😳
i hate that stupid fucking bear
no bc you’re right and i don’t like it
THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT
I thought it was a Frankenstein reference.
26:33 that "thank you, daddy" ad lib was golden 😂
😂😂 it really was
"I'm a Trojan horse, you're just driftwood." is the SICKEST BURN i have ever heard.
say what you will but i think Pauly Shore’s voice acting makes this movie 100 times more hilarious. the delivery on some of his lines makes me laugh so hard it hurts
Engineer gaming
He's definitely the best part of the movie.
HOLY HELL KURTY BOY NOTICED ME
@@piss7610 engineer gaming
@@doctoroceanman absolutely
I'm 99% sure that whoever was in charge of editing the English dub expected exactly zero English speaking people to ever watch this.
Self fulfilling prophecy
Kurt is actually the first ever person I've seen talk about this movie who has acknowledged that English isn't the original language, like every other dude just bashes on the voice acting and pretends like they're the original actors, if the lines sound weird it's because they're dubbed, and that's what every dubbed movie has to go through but since they've never experienced that before they want everything to be perfect, and don't get me wrong, the movie would still be trash even if the dubbing was perfect but these people just act as if they owned everything, it's good to see at least some people still acknowledge the existence of other languages instead of trying to make everything revolve around English.
well this sucks
Well now over 6 million of them have seen it
Not me 2 years and many rewatches later just realizing that when Kurtis says (24:05) “what that clown said earlier” he is, in fact, referring to the man’s profession and not just calling him a clown as an insult… don’t know how I didn’t realize that earlier…
🤡
🤡
26:54 "im a trojan horse, and youre just driftwood"
Dude went from Pinocchio to a bonfire
For me it was "get Bella on my face ima start fibbin"
@@shadophaxx2401 That line with the "Thank you, daddy" adlip is pure fucking fire
Just like in the book
Pinocchio would definitely win the horniest weasel award
WHY WOULD YOU CURSE ME WITH THE KNOWLEDGE OF HORNY WEASEL AGAIN
lmaoo😭😭
I GET THE REFERENCE 😭💙
@@twistytrombone2453 same! 😂
😭😭💀
“Without any help from us fairies” sounds like she’s doing Trixie Mattel’s version of a Swedish accent
THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING OF TOO LMAO
The aforementioned fairie
COMPLETELY
all I'm thinking of is Swedish Cher
*Hällo hällo tha puppet people!* 🤣👏
27:32 The Tipping Of The Hat Was Perfect🎉
To be fair, showing up and cursing an inanimate object with sentience because they’d find it entertaining is true fae behaviour.
Faes will take away your ability to speak because their spaghetti was too cold or something
That's the background of a D&D character I've made
@@CygnusTheSilly checks out. Fae are the most spiteful little bastards imaginable.
I thought the exact same thing. Themb pixies are mischievous!
Fae were sort of ancient Gods in Celtic culture
And what is the world if not the Gods' own personal game of Sims?
@@jazzspider8569 terrifying phrase, thank you 👍
“The cops show up for no reason” the most realistic part of the movie
@Текаshi 6iх9ine 🅥 whoa it's 6ix9ine!!! Dude I hate your music dude!!! Haha
@UCqOo_0WFyD8gz5zL28b9WvQ porn bot porn bot
Based
26:32 That "Thank you Daddy!" to fit with the beat is fucking golden, i was laughing hysterically
Oh my gosh, I didn't notice that the first 3 times I listened to it!
ONLY 1 COMMENT WITH 1.5K LIKES WTH
@@HugeRMCFanBoY-bx3od There are comments with more... but still yeah ik✨
father when can I leave to be on my OWNNNN~~~ 😫😫
I HAVE THE WHOLE WORDD TO SEE~~🥵🥵😜
Pinocchio gone Zesty-
Okay but can someone tell me how Pinocchio, a WOODEN puppet, escaped from falling into a fire with only a few scorch marks
RIGHT OMG LIKE HE DIDNT JUST BECOME A TORCH TF????
I searched and apparently oak is the hardest/slowest wood to burn, so maybe he's made out of oak?
@@krisrunedelta ch oak on these nuts lol, fuck this movie
@@anthonyst-onge ?
He is fireproof
How are there not more comments about how lyrically complex the song is, the rhyme scheme is crazy. I can tell you put a lot of work into it Mr. Mayor, and it absolutely paid off
THIS.
fr tho. I hope he posts it separately otherwise I’m gonna be coming back to this video all the time just for the song.
upvote, retweet, and all of the above
fax. i thought it was gonna be a goofy song but he actually went in
Dude went so hard for a Pinocchio diss track!
Why are you confused that Pinocchio is hiding from the cops? You just told us he broke the *laws* of physics.
"Stop. Physics police!"
@@bibsp3556 that's a trick the physics cops pull to add a second charge. Remember, "an object in motion will remain in motion." Know your rights.
@@constonks love it lol. Know your rights when breaking the laws of physics. Breaking the lightspeed barrier might seem fun, but did you think to consult your attourney?
10:42 knew exactly what you were referring to here. it's "they who casteth stones ought not to live in glass houses", aka "bro, says you; dont be a hypocrite"
Just in case anyone's curious, the movie being originally Russian makes a lot of sense. It was probably based on the "Russian interpretation" of the story, Burattino / Буратино. It introduces the duo of the fox and the cat, the love interest with the blue hair, this whole circus scam thing. Also the main character's nose never grows in that story. I honestly had no clue it was that far from the original tale lol
Yeah, I was raised on soviet versions of movies (like buratino, Alice in Wonderand, Winnie the Pooh…). Ive actually never seen the originals. The 1970s Alice is extra weird tho. But I like the artstyle, strangely.
I can't even truly say it's "Russian interpretation", more of a "hey, I heared some cool idea, I want to make something completely different with my own political commentary thrown in". Buratino is a surprisingly deep story tbh, with criticism of police, capitalism, slavery etc
So it's kinda like if you read Bible and then make Matrix with some allusions to Christ, you know? XD (exaggerating a bit but still :))
@@oulafursson yeah, that's why I put the parentheses, I wasn't sure what to call it. Either way the plot is so ingrained in our minds that seeing Westerners shocked was an eye-opening experience for sure
The whole time I was wondering why his nose never grew. This now makes sense thank you
Oh so that's why, thank you
honestly, and i'm not being sarcastic here. Those lyrics SLAPPED. Like actually, you killedddd it with the rhyming schemes and incorporation of puns and it just WORKED SO WELL. Fantastic job, I would loveee to see you write more music, non-parody style even.
ruclips.net/video/BRPTnAu8yYo/видео.html
Agreed! Like, it’s… actually really good?
yess
@@lu656 you could say it’s… very really good
@@mochamoo2139 ayyyee
leave a comment and let me know if I should release the diss track on Spotify lol
yes
Please do
Do it.
do it
bitte!
here's my support for inkbox: i scrolled through every single design they had and eventually came across a duck wearing a little party hat riding a skateboard. the design was called "party boy."
The line at the end "Get Bella on my face imma start fibbin" really caught me off guard
Like goddamn dude!
@@KINGJERMARCUS you didn’t come up with the bars “I’m a Trojan horse, you just some driftwood”, so good luck
i wish you couldve seen my face 😭
Followed by *“thank you, daddy!”*
It’s perfect.
i had to replay it 😭
The cat is the best character. He's the only one with consistency. He shows a consistent need to destroy things.
Just like a real cat.
Let me get this straight: You comment something that is unrelated to the fact that I have two HEAVENLY HANDSOME girlfriends? Considering that I am the unprettiest RUclipsr ever, having two handsome girlfriends is really incredible. Yet you did not mention that at all. I am quite disappointed, dear tuc
@@AxxLAfriku lmao wtf
Also, the cat reacting to Pinocchio is actually how everyone should’ve reacted in the original.
I was expecting some sort of reference to #Roxy btw
As someone who has 4 cats, I can confirm
Bruh did you just copied word to word from another user under Saberspark video about this movie 💀
Clearly Kurtis hasn’t watched the movie “Cats” because if he did he would know humanoid cats are as real as it gets
God I’d pay to watch his review of that
the movie Cats but Rum tum tugger has a gun
ruclips.net/video/BRPTnAu8yYo/видео.html
Thx for a all the likes!
I've been writing a script for a Pinocchio horror movie:
Pinnochio, after becoming human, grows up and comes to believe he made a severe mistake. Seeing himself age, and the death of his father, Pinnochio seeks out a means to revert back to wood, since human flesh is weak.
russian here. i got slightly suspicious when i saw the design of the new "pinocchio", and further in they got confirmed. this is *not* pinocchio, and i have no idea why they called it that!
theres a russian fairytale called buratino, which is basically a slavic version of pinocchio with a slightly different story and characters, and this new pinocchio and the other characters look highly like an old ussr cartoon of buratino!
the main character looks like buratino, with his pointy hat and golden locks. Bella is literally just Malvina, a blue haired girl that ran away from a circus/puppet show thing. the circus owner himself looks like a copy of Karabas Barabas, the owner of the puppet show in og story. and the fox and the cat.... well, they didnt really change, except maybe fir the fact in the cartoon i think the fox was a woman
there are characters missing (such as my favourite character- the sad clown Pierro who was in love with Malvina and was writing her sadass poetry lol), and overall the story feels butchered both if you look at it as pinocchio remake and as a buratino remake. buratino never joined the circus! or had a horse! or was so yassified, after all in og buratino was, again, a whole ass capricious stupid wooden toddler
at first i thought they named it pinocchio only for the foreign audiences to get attention, but turns out in russian its called the same, which is.. a mystery to me, honestly. would've it been called buratino it'd honestly be a bit better, rus audience would know it better and foreigners wouldn't have had such confusion, and got to see some russian culture lol
the film still sucks. maybe im just biased because they removed my favourite character. no pierro, -5/10, would not recommend. better off watching the og buratino movie even tho iirc its only in russian
(if anyone's interested, its called The Golden Key. also thats the name of the book the story originated from)
Edit: an edit 11 months later because i got annoyed. just a reminder that Buratino is an adaptation of Pinocchio. read the og book/watch the og cartoon and realise how different it is from the actual Pinocchio tale. a lot of old ussr/older than that media and content were adaptations of Western stuff due to unavailability and overall "closedness" of the country
Man, this comment made me feel nostalgic 😭💝 I feel like this movie is a big disgrace to both Buratino and Pinocchio, from what i can tell it looks like a cheap mock up of bunch of “stolen” ideas from both tales. It’s almost like they integrated the two in a form of an awkward crossover and got this horrendous of a result. anyways, Malvina and Pierro supremacy
Glad I’m not the only one that thought Bella was just Malvina
Thank you for the review and recommendation! I never heard of Buratino before reading this comment.
Oh cool!
Super interesting comment! Thanks for your perspective!
the ''balls'' echo kills me every single time. i never expect it. this might be my favorite thing you've ever done
it literally makes make crack up laughing every time i hear it, i think its my favourite thing too
its so funny and for whar
My favourite thing would be if he redid his old intro as I do desperately need
Absolute agree
wait time stamp?
I'm shocked he skipped the part where the cops caught Pinocchio and gagged him, then the horse backed his ass up into the camera and kicked the cops into a tree and THAT was how they reconciled.
And at end when the cop finds it and wondered what happened Pinocchio said "Remember you put it in my mouth 😏"
And the plot point about Tibalt being Pinocchio’s dad
@@ShinraEm _the fucking WHAT_
@@ShinraEm HUH
@@ShinraEm WHAT
4:28 IM STILL WHEEZING AT THE “ALIIIIVE” I CANT OFMG
This movie is actually perfectly translated and wonderfully voiced, because it makes you go through exactly the same experience as me, a russian dude, when I watch english movies or games dubbed into russian
Is the movie good in Russian ?
@@anya-tl5fw the plot is bad too.
since when are Russian dubs wonderfully voiced?? It's all that one dude with a cold.
don't know about perfectly translated either more like on the go with original still audible in the background
@@caitlynstreeca6817 I think what OP meant to say was that this movie gives the same frustration and confusion as movies and games dubbed in Russian...
the eng dub still sounds illiterate
I don't think Kurtis realizes how much of a godsend Pauly shore as Pinocchio is. He makes this bland ass movie watchable in an ironic sense
exactly
Yesssss
Frankly I am here for campy voice acting anytime
Honestly, I think it was all down to bad directing. There's no way he actually thought that was good voice acting, right??????
@@RedditchRamblings You have to understand that this movie was shot before it was intended to be released worldwide (or at least in the U.S.). As far as I'm aware, the film was made in Russia with Russian voice actors, and then the english voice actors came in later.
If I had to guess, Lionsgate (the distributor for US) didn't care who voiced it, so they gave creative freedom to the ADR director/directors. They probably chose someone cheap (hence Pauly Shore, Tom Kenny, Jon Heder, etc.) because they already knew the film was eh. It gave them a chance to make the dumbest, weirdest childrens film possible, and even Pauly Shore himself recognizes that on his RUclips channel.
He has now become the Yassification Queen, and no one will take that from him.
I'm russian and I'm pretty sure this is more based on Buratino than Pinnocio. Buratino is basically a Russian version of Pinnocio but with a lot of differences (no growing nose, it was literally just a log that came alive and became a doll, he encountered a slave circus with other toys and stuff, there were a fox and cat bandit and a weird blue haired girl and other things similar to the movie). I think it's kind of a mix of both? It's so weird. Thank god I've never seen it
It really is, Buratino is a very popular shall we say... rewrite of the Pinocchio story to the point most people have never read the real Adventures of Pinocchio or seen the Disney version, just the Soviet movies - the animated one and the live-action one. No one gave a fuck about copyright then lmao, there's also Russian 'adaptations' of Winnie the Pooh and Wizard of Oz that are half fanfiction half copyright infringement.
I've never seen the Disney movie either, but the fox and the cat were in the original Italian story too. The blue haired girl in this movie is neither Malvina from the Russian story nor the Turquoise Fairy from the original fairytale.
серозно? 😂 я так тоже думал, але не очень понимав
Buratino is superior to Pinocchio in every way
Huh, that’s interesting
Ah so that's why i don't find the cat with a gun thing weird in this movie... I'm not russian but my grandma managed to get a dvd of that version of Pinocchio and that's the only Pinocchio movie I've ever seen. But in the version i watched he was still called Pinocchio.
Seriously, that diss track was FIRE! 🔥 Especially 26:32 😂 Pauly Shore saying “Thank you Daddy” as Pinocchio isn’t something I would have EVER thought I’d hear in a rap track (for so MANY different reasons), but DAMN if it doesn’t take it to the next level!
Hilarious as usual.
Never realized how badly we needed Kurtis on a TMG track
yes holy shit. he really pulled some TMG vibes.
God can we please get this
Hell yeah. Love TMG. They new to make a new banger and it should be with Kurtis
No more music. Nothing ever written will compare to "skidee skidee skideez nuts, mother fucker."
bro had a vision.
I never want to hear Pauly Shore say "Daddy!" ever again. That was pure creepsville!
“Shower without me?” Had me dying (≧∀≦)
I’m 99.9 percent sure Pauly Shore was drunk, and they just kept recording.
Explained the skee dee skee dee skee dee
@@yuki97kiraalso explains the “ALIIIIVVVEEEEEEE I’m a boy and I’m alive!”
i thought he sounded like demoman
@@i_dunno_man13476 what makes me a good Pinocchio?
are you 99% sure or 99% shore
Coincidentally, I too screamed “am a boy and I’m alive” after waking up on a sidewalk after a night out
I still don’t know why those were first words to escape my mouth because I felt anything but alive
me when i found out i was trans
@@holeyvoleyvance omg same
Same (im a girl)
And that's the drewth
I can’t believe Pinocchio’s nose wasn’t even a part of the plot of this movie
it seems like it's taking elements of Buratino, the "Russian version" of Pinocchio, which uses a bunch of elements of Pinocchio but has a few key differences, including the fact that his nose doesn't grow when he lies
my phone froze at 18:17 and im scared
Big fan of how the first time Pinocchio and the cat meet, it is established that he cannot be harmed by the cat's gun.
And then later the cat tries to rob Pinocchio with the same gun.
LMAO YEAH. 😭😭😭
Isn't he also killed at the end by that same gun?
Knowing nothing of the movie and reading only this is pretty funny.
Well, to be fair, the cat points the gun at the horse, which is considerably less bulletproof
@@AAAAAA-613 That's fair, but, surely, as bulletproof Pinocchio, your first move at that point would be to go *between* your horsey friend and the gun.
I do like that the cat goes to the trouble of putting a bag over his head but doesn't change anything else about his extremely-distinctive personal accessories, though. It's like wearing a balaclava for your gas-station robbery and not understanding how the clerk still managed to identify you as the only guy in town who habitually wears one of those inflatable T-Rex costumes.
this a new addition to my favorite kurtis videos list
the list is actually a real framed piece of paper
same lol
hi ris imy
@@RisIgrec i wanna see
kurtis's comedy style is straight up perfect for rap ngl. period.
Yess
@Michael Gonzalez rap. The thing he did at the end
No
Tbf to Pinocchio, he had the same reaction to being alive as me waking up every single day
MAMA MÍA AM I A HISPANIC
You have to remember that he was a tree once
If you're confused about cops randomly going door to door looking for "suspicious" people, remember that this movie was made in Russia.
as a Russian, i confirm :(
They aren't the cops they're the KGB
@@wildman510 They aren't cops they're the secret police
@@iwantataconow1339 So am I. No, they don't.
@@christinaizmaylova9964 they “don’t” what?
That cat is based as hell. He just Literally shoots everything.
🅱️🅰️sed
as any cat would if given a gun
He's American
Based on what now?
He looks like Ranger Kirby from the newest game
I've never seen someone more mortified to be alive. HE GETS UP YELLING, "ALIIIIVEEEEEEEeEEEeeeEEeeee" and then stumbles around, struggling to walk.
That's kinda realistic, actually.
Maybe that's what newborn babies do too
@@blump5080 and we just don't understand it because they haven't learned language yet...
me after a rough night out
@@rolinti9146 💀
@@blump5080we don't mention babies in this channel
21:47 SCP fans: I like where you’re going, but just add flesh to the equation.
Thank for like🙂🙂🙂