Christian Mingle: The Movie
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 27 дек 2018
- Yup! This is a real full-length movie that was made by the dating site, Christian Mingle. My friend told me about this movie, so I sat down and watched the entire thing several times. Obviously, it's terrible, so I decided to make a video about it. Enjoy!
MY SOCIAL MEDIA
• / kurtisconner
• / kurtisconner
MY WEEKLY PODCAST
• open.spotify.com/show/3nGVLHp...
• itunes.apple.com/ca/podcast/v...
MY PATREON - (early access, discord perks, & more!)
• / kurtisconner
MERCH
• www.bonfire.com/store/kurtist...
FUNKY SPUNKY!!!
"If God didn't give you a husband, you ain't getting a husband Gretch" LMAO
*gun shots* Take THAT !
“If god”
*6 6 6 L I K E S*
Emily Salinas 1000th like :)
Emily Salinas Plot twist: She gets a wife
...And none for Gretchen Weiners BYE!
This whole movie is shot like a medicine commercial
at least medicine commercials have good lighting
Damn, that's accurate.
Love the pfp
5:40
@@1-1-5-2 wtf i literally just said that sdjhd like word for word skdjsd
I love how even in movies written by and for Christians, the Christian characters are still insufferable bullies
why is this painfully truw
Very accurate and sad. Them being non self aware is they'll believe they're different than this.
Haha that’s so true.
Just like real life
@@ethandollarhide7943 fr
As a latino, I can guarantee you miss Kelly over there was genuinely speaking incomprehensible gibberish
Yes I was like qué
I mean, se entiende si lo reproduces varias veces, pero no sis, qué haces 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀. Suena peor que yo hablando alemán xd
She was definitely casting a spell💀, but I think she said “Hermanos míos, considérense muy dischosos(???) cuando tienen que enfrentarse con diversas pruebas.” And yes I know I’m late af I’m 4 years late.
@@shani21420 comment is only 3 months old no prob bro
@@shani21420 I unfortunately don't speak Spanish- what's that in English?
GRETCHEN, STOP TRYING TO MAKE A HUSBAND HAPPEN.
IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
Amelia Spell 😂👌🏾
😂💀 That was genius
I KNOW !!!!
🙌
she wants to marry asap but waits a friking year :V
So you’re telling me that Christian Mingle advertised themselves with a film about a woman LYING about being a Christian?? I see no flaws here.
Liars lieing about lies. Truth
WickedDodgeBoys Straight up bars bro
@@someamorplease omw
The creators of Christian Mingle aren't even Christian, so the way they made the movie kind of makes since. They give off the impression that they are Christian so Christians will use their website, and the girl in the movie pretends to be a Christian so she can marry someone.
@@wickeddodgeboys6603 You sound like that dude from bestie picks bae . Sometimes I lie to pigeons
My mother is Christian and often invites Christian friends over. There's one particular couple who have no personality other than being Christian and my sister calls them the NPCs.
"No Personality Christians"?
@@corahtheskeleton8062LMAO
Some people are just stereotypes like that and I don't know how it happens xD I mean, I suppose if I get to know them a little better, there's more to them, but I remember meeting two Metalheads™, a handyman™ and a creative chick ™. I can imagine these Christian people are the same, but Christian™
As a Catholic, I can confirm that I am actually an NPC and I literally only exist to be a background character in a church congregation in movies
I thought my standards were low in highschool but this grown woman's standards are "look me in the eyes for 10 seconds and smile" 😂
I really wanted Kurtis to cut from that line to him just staring at the camera for 10 seconds before smiling because wow 10 seconds feels a lot longer than it sounds in practice
Plot twist: Gretchen is actually a camera in human form
Lmao this reminded me Kurtis' Twisted Pair video where in the beginning Neil Breen looks into the camera for a while then suddenly smiles. It's official now, Neil Breen is the standard.
Dear people saying her Spanish sounds like someone summoning Satan:
Please stop, Satan is scared of whatever language she's speaking
Hell yeah. As Satan herself, I was scared when she was talking.
@Satan aww, poor you. Have a hug.
Satan speaks all languages really well also apparently.
@@satan4961 Hell yeah indeed
@@satan4961 please stop giving me bad luck
"Christian Mingle? You're better off being CHRIstiaN SiNgLE"
Chrinsnle
A little Christian Pringle
Chris Kringle
Naomij Davies jingle jangle hey kris kringle got ice in his veins for a reason-
No joke I got an AD for a dating app called Upward for Christian Singles. So like.... Can't even have a Christian Single now.
as an asian person, i have never wanted to punch someone more than that guy taking forever to chew on some sushi
I'm Mexican American, I was PISSED for you. I LOVE sushi! That's NOT how you eat it when you love it. Ugh.
The way he fucking stabs it HELP
same. i was so angry. MY GUY HOW CHEWY IS UR FISH? GODDAMN
whenevr i eat sushi, it takes time, yes but not as ungodly long as he did. He was WEAK
Love your fyp 🤭
Imagine being a Christian and breaking up with a girl for not being Christian enough on a missionary trip
Instead of helping her become Christian enough
Welcome to Christianity
Fucking real, it’s obvious this Christian dating site is made by a bunch of westboro Baptist types.
I mean if a guy is that suffocatingly christian, I'd rather he dump me than shove his religion down my esophagus.
-my christian ass?
That "Spanish" sounded like someone trying to speak Italian in the most nasally French accent they could do
And having a stroke at the same time
And having a heart attack at the same time
That didn't even sound a bit Italian, not even the accent bruh
@@Rrougenoir exactly 🤣
And dieing at the same time
Hahahaha omg i don’t speak english natively and when he said “dating sites where christians can meet other christians” I didn’t think of the religion I thought some guys named Christian were too extra to date any other people than fellow Christians and I didn’t even question it lmaooo
Bahahaha underrated comment
😂😂😂
Now that you mention it, guys named Christian maybe truly are too much to date
Nah man get me a mans named Muslim or sommit
@@overthinker5805 i have a friend who named Muslim
as someone raised christian: the most unbelievable thing is that they were mad she wasnt already "fully christian" like when someone even HINTS that they might like to get into it its like sharks to water they would be all about getting her fully converted
oh no, that part is VERY realistic. the whole "youre not enough of a christian" is extremely prevalent, as is claiming any christian they dont like as "not a true christian"
@@clairee527 i feel thats true. because while my family dont speak much about religioun (but my mom is still quite _really_ religious), i have struggled ALOT internally on about being 'not christian enough'which doesn't help when im also a young lgbtq child
@@hat7475I know this is a super old comment but I hope you’re doing better now
kelly basically told the kids that they should be happy when confronted with challenges which is 100x worse than not knowing the bible by heart 💀💀💀💀
“Husband for you, husband for you, husband for you...
And none for Gretchen Weiners.”
Brilliant.
hellolamby *bYee*
4 for you Glen Coco, you go Glen Coco!
“I want a man who wears plaid shirts, force feeds me cookies, and makes me wanna throw up watching him eat new foods. Bonus if he only loves me if I’m Christian enough.”
"Bonus if he only loves me if I’m Christian enough.”
I didn't see any "love" there. That was a man desperate to find someone else to fuck/abuse after the previous woman ran off. How would he actually love her, considering he hasn't seen or cared for her in a year?
@@Kijinn like he literally only came back to her when the other girl was gone. Honestly it's kinda creepy. She's desperate out of loneliness and is obviously dealing with some mental health problems like how she has a mental breakdown when he rejects her. And he knows this and toys around with her, even getting her to stop working and go to Mexico with him where his ex and mom can bully her.
He plays around with her emotions again and again and stands her up multiple times only to come back to her when he has no other choice. It's sick.
@@shay.w.5812
Yes, this really only seems to have the formula for making women obedient to abusive men, under the guise of "God demands it."
All the movie does is to emphasize why relationships based on religious ties *aren't* the smart choice.
Sadly, relationships outside of that frequently suffer due to modern civilizations lacking emotional stability. We're just on the brink of discovering how to consciously deal with our subconsciousness. It's not something that ordinary parents or school know how to teach.
@@Kijinn read running on empty by janice webb
I think the cookies keep coming up as a kinda weird and unsubtle way to reinforce that she’s changing and becoming a “better, more humble, and more obedient Christian girl” bc this is 100% the kind of thing they’d do to me when I lived with my ultra-religious family; they try to force you to change small things so your primed to change bigger things.
Like she changes her religion, her job, her eating habits, her interests, even stops eating and speaking SpOoKy FoRiEgN sTuFf oooo meanwhile wonderbread gets to tell her to fuck off twice, change nothing about the way he acts or thinks, and gets to waltz in and be her husband anyway
Like it never says why she doesn’t eat cookies but it’s kinda implied “oh, she’s a worldly city girl who wears the pants in her life. She eats sushi and not cookies bc she’s vain and *multicultural* oooo scary” so instead of being like “yeah mr mayo is too different from me we’re not a good couple” she forced herself to change to be the kind of girl he likes bc she’s so desperate and really, /wouldn’t she be more happy as a married Christian girl who’s subservient and obedient to her husband?/
My folks tried to do the same thing with me and instead I moved out, spent 5 years working on my own life and casually meeting people before finding someone who ACTUALLY understood and liked me that I ACTUALLY wanted to spend my life with lol
as someone who was raised Christian and being the only female in my family (had cousins that were all boys), the pressure I was put on as a CHILD to get married as young as 18 was wild.
My mother in law was not a Christian, but at 19, she stole my birthcontroll so I would start a family.
Luckily I noticed and had a spare pack of pills. I am 32 now and I will not have kids.
"See them? I think they're on a Tinder date."
"Wow, that's gotta be so awkward." "Thank God we used
*cHriStiAn MiNgLe"*
*insert cheesy ad music*
That was my immediate thought when I saw this video 😂❤️
That vine got them more clout than this movie
“I’m terrible with time management”
UMMMMMM Mr.Struggle?!!
hella Mr.struggle vibes
amazing comment
he needs to increase his interest in god to become more of a godly guy
Girl defined does not approve
that was the first thing i thought LOL
17:02 as a latino, i dont know if i should laugh or genuinely be concerned that not even one person that spoke Spanish was on their production team
I can't believe they put a movie in this ad, unbelievable
Rom-com? More like wrong-com.
that was a great joke i sincerely applaud you
@@cyrus2430
This comment was recorded in front of a live audience (fake laughter)
@@alejandrajorge2338 Lol 😂
Good one! 🎭
Husband for you, husband for you, husband for you...
*and none for Gretchen Wieners, bye*
I’m crying.
+
3 husbands for Glen Coco, you go Glen Coco.
I legitimately choked on my cake I was laughing so hard I cried
I subscribed for this joke
@@jessicahymow1410 *I thought it was four..*
They could've had a dating montage if she tried other dating apps first that weren't working out and it would've made me story better and still satisfy the brand
That lady was straight up speaking in tongues that was NOT Spanish lmaooo
This movie is the definition of
“I want a church girl that go to church and read her bible”
RIP vine
I love how this comment has 666 likes 😆💀
@@a1rb0rn3tkd9 how did it get almost 200 likes in 2 weeks??
genius comment
An REEEEd heR bIBllE
Spanish is my second language.
I have no idea what language that lady is speaking. Sounds like she's summoning Satan.
I never comment on youtube videos but your comment has exactly 666 likes and that made my day - you summoned the devil toooo 😱
spanish is my first language and i thought that lady was speaking latin or italian
Wait. Are you saying she literally spoke Spanish jibberish? Wtf....
It's not that difficult to learn ONE line in the actual language. Lazy and stupid
@@FuriedHearts that line sounds like she was told to google translate her line word by word and then just read it without a care about spanish phonetics.
"Hermanos míos. Considérenese muy dichosos cuando tengan que enfrentarse a otros pueblos"... (?)
Is my closest guess
I physically cannot believe that Corbin Bernsen actually wrote this, that is genuinely hilarious considering that all of his other films and shows are the farthest from a good Christian cinema as possible 😂
I just know him for beeing the dad in Psych ans was kinda feeling weird about that fact xD
The saddest part of this entire thing is that this was directed by the guy who played the dad in Psych and my soul is crushed.
IN PSYCH? THE DETECTIVE SHOW WITH GUS AND SHAWN??? I’m going to jump off a roof that’s so omfg
I can’t ever watch it the same again
no omfg
I can’t look at him the same way ever again
Was scrolling the heck out of this comment section to see if I was the only one to notice! Thanks ffs, was litteraly rewatching the show just before watching this vid and was stuned by this!
I KNOW THAT MESSED ME UP
As a Christian, I'm just trying to figure out how this movie is going to make any logical-thinking person want to use Christian mingle.....
I think this is for the w e i r d christians. You know the ones
@@mman6564 totally
you're right it needs to be more cult-y for christians to buy into
As a Pagan I find is absolutely hilarious
@@mman6564 the ones we don't associate with...
you didn’t include the horrible part when a kid comes up to her in MEXICO, speaking spanish, and she tells him to speak english. this movie was so awful
Christianity - bringing the White Savior Complex©®™ to a place near you since the first Crusade
Isn’t that the part at the end in her, ya know, English class? Isn’t that how it works in foreign language classes?
Perry Young How is this relevant?
@Sage Markham Not all Americans are awful?????
Also it's a movie???????????
@Sage Markham I wouldn't say it's America, but it's whatever area you were in
Life has not been great to Lacey acting wise since mean girls 😭😂😂 the amount of Hallmark Christmas movies she’s been in is ridiculous 😂
I don't know. At least, that's steady work. It's hard to try to get consistent roles in major motion pictures, unless you're like a top A-lister. She's still doing much better than Lindsay Lohan.
@@caseyadams1861 I agree. Actors can make good money starring in these Hallmark movies. And since Lacey Chabert has actual Hollywood/TV roles on her resume, she's likely able to pull a larger salary in these movies.
Yeah, over 30 Hallmark movies and she just signed a new contract with them after so many actors left for that new Hallmark-style channel (forgot the name). But I think she's doing pretty well. She probably makes a lot of money with Hallmark, does the occasional minor guest role in some series and also does a lot of voice acting (e.g. Star Wars: The Old Republic, Injustice, the Kung Fu Panda series, The Spectacular Spider-Man - just to name a few).
Fair enough you all have a point lowkey didn’t even think of it that way but hey steady work is steady work so facts
the funniest part is that all these characters act like evangelical protestants but thats CLEARLY a catholic church they're attending in 14:17 lmao
spanish is my first language and i have just two comments about it
a) i had to listen like 4 times to understand what that lady said
b) she literally said "consider yourselves lucky that you got tested by god" girl my village 😭😭
Imagine telling a child whose life was destroyed that she’s a lucky one. AND WITH THAT VOICE. What a great message, Christian Mingle, with a dash of sociopathy and entitlement ✨👌
oh wow spanish is also my first language and i had actually thought she was saying nonsense
That's just... wow
what the FUCK
Savage
I didn’t realise this was only released in 2014. This legitimately seems like something from 2004.
Was there Christian Mingle back in '04?
Junjun Jamore good question
@@junjunjamore7735 Apparently yes, Wikipedia article on it says it was launched in 2001.
😂
That’s Christian media for you
The stark, stale, whiteness of the steak and cake scene intermingled with the indulgent, messy, steak and cakes is like something in a weird horror movie.
Like they’d totally just go absolutely fucking rabid eating the cake and steaks with only their hands and just mushing it into their faces, and we’d get this absolutely chaotic shot of them leaving the restaurant, seat empty, white couch and walls just coated in chocolate smears and grease. Then we’d get a shot of them leaving, a little smirk on their faces, and wiping their mouths with these clean white handkerchiefs they’d all personally keep in their pockets, but it would just smear the chocolate and grease around their mouths and their hands would also be so sticky and dirty, also their clothes would be all wrinkled and smeared with food.
It's weirdly specific, but you're also 100% right. Though it would probably be even creepier if their face and hands were miraculously spotless by the time they left the restaurant. Or their clothes still looking like they came fresh from the dry-cleaner, while slowly panning back and forth between the carnage left behind in the restaurant and the spotless wonderbread Christians as they get in the car and go home.
Why is that so scary (I'm agreeing just so yk)
The chewing noises in the sushi restaurant scene were so aggravating
"I just want to meet a guy who will look at me for ten seconds and smile."
Wow, setting the bar high there aren't we?
I was thinking the same thing, like she should've been more realistic. Like, 6 seconds and a smirk
That would just get creepy some dude staring at you for 10 seconds straight and just smiling
Realistically based on what she settled for, in her world, it would have been:
I just want ta guy to being so boring that I have no chemistry with them.
I mean, not being boring doesn't mean you'll have chemistry with them.
@@seigeengine My comment meant, that he was soo boring that she couldn't have chemistry with him even if she wanted to.
My grandma unironically forced me to watch this after i dyed my hair blue because i need a nice, moral christian husband to set me on the blonde path to heaven.
So get yourself an atheist wife to set you on the blue path to hell.
seigeengine hell yah
Well you don’t want to be the last one standing do you?
@@tabstrash7166 funny joke
That sounds really fake tbh
It took me a couple tries, but that girl said "My brothers, consider yourselves happy when you have to face various trials," which you don't say to a little girl whose entire home was destroyed lol basically told her "just smile, no biggie" lol
GF came in and started watching this with me, and her instant reaction to the sushi scene was "That guy's not going to go down on her."
Oh god... Hahahaha
*”goodbye burn book, hello good book”*
Make it a shirt
Lydia wyd
allie heckman supporting my father
Why didn't Gwyneth just... say she was recently converted instead of pretending that she was christian before
Because the company couldn't milk the rest of the 1hour 30mins out of the viewers bc the entire plot would crumble :(
why use a christian dating app when you’re not christian? is christian mingle the only dating app in their world?
@@sourpatchkids351 I think you cracked the case. This is a dystopian universe where all other dating apps have been eradicated and we never noticed it, right under our noses.
(Love the neiru pfp btw)
@@michaelio6548 haha thanks! the show lowkey fell apart at the end, but i still have a soft spot in my heart for it and it’s characters :)
Isn't lying bad though?
duolingo should make a movie where a woman is converted to learning spanish on duolingo, and it should feature MULTIPLE duolingo lesson montages, and the one of the conflicts has to be that she loses her streak
I like to re-watch Kurtis’s old videos (it’s 2023 now) and it’s crazy how his voice changed. Men really do have 2 puberty’s.
IK i was just thinking that 😭
There’s Hollywood, there’s Bollywood. Now let me introduce you to Holywood.
criminally underrated comment😔
Where is holywood though?
Looooooool
Dont forget Nollywood
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👌🏽
Kelly: speaks ‘Spanish’
The demon she summoned: h e l o
Ironic
Also iconic
“hey kelly”
Omg it has 666 likes
hahaha
h o l a
the fact that the dad from psych wrote this movie makes it 10x more entertaining
WHAT
10:55 as a Japanese person, I'd be like aight date over lol you doing too much to make this food seem gross & it's disrespectful
Exactly like at that point you could spit it out in front of me and say it's disgusting and I would be less offended than what going on in the scene.
I would just end it there
Nobody going to talk about how 80% of Mexico is already Christian, teaching Christianity in Mexico is like teaching a professor how to read.
soooo true like all of my family are catholic
To be fair, being christian and being catholic are different things. In Mexico we are mostly catholic
@@possum2203 No? Catholocism is a dominion of Christianity. I'm a Mexican Catholic myself. If Christian mingle is protestant they'll have no luck in Latin America.
@@loglogic7846 Oh really? I didn't know that. I'm also mexican catholic but I haven't met that many christians and even then we don't really talk about religion. I was once told that one of the differences was that we catholics believe in saints and virgins as deities and christians don't but I'm not really sure now
@@loglogic7846 Here in Brazil maybe
*If God didn't give you a husband, you ain't gettin' a husband Gretch*
{BabyKuwonu} ayy prettymuch!
LMAO
God is a woman
@@pettymajesty ayyy
@@rust44 yes. *Just yes* . . .
i was listening to this video in the background, and let me tell you: the sushi seen is 10x longer when there’s no video component. it’s just like an unbroken minute of silence while the restaurant music plays before gretchen speaks.
Let me tell you, having grown up in that culture where a woman's worth is determined by her spouse, being the last one standing is a real fear for a lot of young women. Also, every mission ministry I have ever known requires thorough interviews, a declaration of faith, and often several theology and apologetics courses before you are even considered for the team, so inviting an unvetted rando to join last minute is on them.
GAWD A BABY WITH NO TEETH COULD EAT A ROCK FASTER THAN THAT GUY EATING SUSHI
How big is the rock?
I ate sushi once when I was an awkward 11 year old and I *hated* it but I didn’t want to be rude so I just sat there about to throw up until I finally managed to swallow it. I was in actual tears because it hurt so bad. And it took much longer for me to swallow it then him lol.
@@fancyoil216 that's sure was a story
@@laural2924 a rock you would be able to pick up but it's quite heavy
@@gnome5057 oh ok. Makes sense. Thanks for clarifying
"If god didn't give you a husband, you ain't getting a husband" literally made me CACKLE
This is my favorite Kurtis joke honestly
whoa you are very pretty
@@miabryan7986 what about why 2 k?
@@miabryan7986 i don’t get the joke
@@oliviaquilliam7701 SIMP
There is no way she said "our kelly", she straight up said "R. Kelly"
The fact that the main dude’s name sounds like the Chinese phrase ‘没有 (mei you)’ which translates loosely to ‘not having’ is fucking priceless 💀
I WANNA CHURCH GIRL THAT GO TO CHURCH
AND READ HER BIBLEEEEEEEE
Lmao
jane haviland didn’t laugh
Legendary reference
jane haviland I literally had to sing it 😂😂
*_BbiiIIibLeeE_*
17:03
As a Spanish speaker, it literally took me a hot few seconds to realise she was speaking Spanish and not Minecraft Enchantment Table
i was also hella confused at first also cool Minecraft reference
I'm Mexican and I couldn't understand a thing she was saying
She really went off with the *enunciation*
i don't speak spanish, but i've got relatives who do and that does not sound like spanish...
This is equivalent of people speaking gibberish and make it sounds like Chinese.
The fact that Shaun’s dad from Psych wrote this movie killed me. My soul is dead.
IM SO GLAD SOMEONE ELSE RECOGNISED HIM i grew up on that show this is WILD 😭😭
5:16 “And now I gotta make bald guys believe some magical potion they buy on TV is gonna solve all their problems… but first I gotta pray to this magical guy I read about who’s gonna solve all my problems.”
Man, Mayonase is bad at time management? Watch out Gretchen, you've got a Mr. Struggle on your hands.
LMAO, do you watch Mr. Atheist?
AND HE WATCHES PORN?!?!
I legit stan you for that Mr Atheist reference, my friend
Claire Rochford oh my god this is the best comment
oh my god---
he’s wearing a flannel shirt. sorry gretchen but you’re dating a lesbian, i don’t make the rules.
come on, thats giving him too much credit
Is that Isak I see
Or a lumberjack, you never know
rude
@@carmenq7339 What 😂
10:23, im not even east-asian and that poor usage of the chopsticks offends me, im just south-asian
I LOVE MEAN GIRLS AND ALL THE REFERENCES WERE PERFECT THANK YOU KURTIS
“if god didn’t give you a husband, you ain’t getting a husband”
What if God didn't give me a BJ??
@@swine13 tHeN yOu AiNt GeTtIn OnE.
FIRRREEE
AW YEAH! HELLS YEAH! U HEAR THAT PPLS? IM GETTING ME A WIFEY🥳🥳🥳
@@swine13 - Kurtis Conner
yes longer video = more kurtistown
natalie anderson yassss nat getting those likes
10:37 HE'S NOT EVEN HOLDING THE CHOPSTICKS CORRECTLY KJABEKQNSKB
17:31 Ngl laughing at this movie and that conflict they set up. I grew up in a very Catholic family, and the entire parish seemed excited as all get out and very welcoming when someone expressed even the smallest bit of interest in joining the faith. The same went for some of my secular friends in college and their youth groups, too. The whole breakup scenario and the family's judgment over the lead not knowing the Bible verbatim despite her showing a concerted effort in trying to learn the faith reads more like an A.I. attempting to write the script than actual Christians, which is wild. Way to advertise your own faith and dating service, guys.
I just can't believe they showed premarital kissing smd(daggum)h
Premarital eye contact as well
Premarital existence is disgusting smh
@Hollow Cup dont say that word you filfth
girl defined would disapprove
@@sophieschroer42 smh
omg, I first thought that "Christian Mingle" was the name of the main character
Same I feel like I could met someone named that
Christian Mengele
"Mr.mingle will see you now"
That'd be a great drag name
"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, CHRISTIAN MINGLEEEEEE"
@@monserratponce3965idk why but I thought of miss crystal el debarge methyd when you said that
a way better ending would be her going "no, i only have room in my heart for god"
gretchen: **has not memorised the bible by heart**
everyone: that isn't very fetch of you
Lol
Gretchen signing up forChristian mingle:
Me:she doesn’t even go here
(This made more sense in my head)
Stop trying to make fetch happen Fara
Omg wait
That’s iconic
I had to wait to catch my breath tbh
Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch a thing. It’s not gonna haplen
Ah yes, a date scene where the love interest chews on a sushi for 40 seconds straight, how romantic.
😂
Paired with a glass of awkward silence
I'd walk the fuck out of there like really white boi? its just rice fish and a few other things it's really not that dif from stuff you'd already eat all the time even if your a narrow minded white boi, besides sushi is great its one of my fav things and if you dont like it just say so or at least swallow it quickly instead of making a show of how you don't like it making alll those faces for like 5 minutes
Of course i wouldnt date somone like him in the first place tho even if i wasnt lesbain LOL
I feel like the joke was supposed to be sushi=nasty
I’m not even Japanese but his reaction to not American food was offensive even to me like dude was so dramatic. It’s raw fish no need to be a diva
I’m a recent subscriber and I’m going through some of the back catalogue. This is one of the funniest videos I’ve seen in a while.
Dude I love your subject matter. It’s like a nostalgia trip through my late night commercials of my teen years.
“And none for gretchen wieners bye” I spat out my drink
Uhm... “a brand can’t make a movie about themselves with a good plot” the LEGO movie if a ciNiMaTiC mAsTeRpiEcE
Eliana Brenden honestly you’re not wrong like at all
Everything was awesome
You're right and you should say it
And the LEGO Batman Movie
The LEGO movie is legendary
I was crying last night and this video helped so much. thank you
I'm not sure the arguement that a company making a movie to sell a product = bad is a very good one. The LEGO Movie is one of the best movies of all time, but it's literally just an hour long ad for LEGO.
“Ultimately leaves the date to go touch another girls BACK”
Meggan Jary yEe yEe
You're pretty, I like your aesthetic.
beautyandtheoffbeats aww thank you so much
It would’ve made more sense if she was like working in marketing and has to market the app. She gets the idea to try it herself to come up with a pitch and ends up actually meeting a great guy falling in love and eventually becoming a Christian. This gives her a reason to actually use the app and stuff.
Girl YOU should’ve directed the movie 😭
That would be “Mingle all the way” except its not about Christianity
Thats literally mingle all the way 😂😂
Not you creating a better plot than the movie hahahah
Dude, idk but u just did the writer's work in a single comment and actually made it so much better
THAT SUSHI SCENE WAS SO AWKWARD 💀 honestly if a date is that bad, idk what to tell you, man. he isn't your prince charming. ngl though i would be a terrible girlfriend for that guy, i'd just die laughing at him being mayonnaise.
“Oh! we’ll put 2 ads for the rest of the mo-“
ad plays
Kurtis is a genius
“Aren’t You Supposed to, like, forgive, and stuff, or is that like, catholic”
Who’s going to tell Kurtis That Catholicism is a type of Christianity
Nah, he'll figure it out.
Lol it’s ok a lot of people have told me that I’m not Christian because I’m Catholic... it’s super weird...
@@MrsRoseSimple lol like Christianity isn't even a think when you think about it. It's just judaism 0.2.
Shay. W. Not really
Shay. W. Not really, they were taking the Bible out of context and made it sound good for themselves and focused on the wrong things so Jesus taught people what was important and what wasn’t. Christianity isn’t even really perfect itself. People do it in Christianity. People need to just read the Bible and get their own opinion (that God has given them) that way. You can’t judge something you never read. I did it and when I read it, it blew my mind
I'm living for all your 2000's movie references
trapped in a closet had me dying
First: a friend sent me a link to this video and I think it's hilarious. Well done, sir 👏
Second: I am a Christian, and I also think that companies like Christian Mingle are swine. It's part of a corporate conglomerate that makes money off people who like to think they are using a tool made by good people who think like them. However, based on the marketing strategies of this company, I can conclude that Christian Mingle and its sister companies (like EliteSingles and AttractiveWorld) have a singular goal that they view as being much more important than spiritual salvation: making money by selling their product (as you correctly pointed out).
That doesn't mean that all CM users are fake (in fact I'm sure lots of Christ-centered relationships started there).... however, it's movies like this that give Christians a bad name.
Lmfao, the Sly Stallone noises on the other side of the phone when you called about the Bible study montage usurping the Rocky training montage. 😆😆😆😆 Great job!!
"most mayonnaise, wonderbread, sonofabitch I've ever seen" wow this is just- im gonna plagiarize this
No one:
Not a single soul:
Gretchen: *funky spunky*
gretchen wants a taste of that funky spunky if you get my drift
@@seaopal lmao
Stop trying to make funky spunky happen! It's not going to happen!
y did i read this as she said it
Agnostic girl introduces good Christian man to funky spunky.
As someone who got dumped (partially) for not being christian, she should’ve been relieved. That fear of not meeting their standards is so heavy. And they absolutely left mexico when they got back together, no way she stayed to teach kids after that
I love how the website was only relevant for 30 minutes before they were in Mexico mode for the rest.
I thought this movie was implying she's an atheist and she eventually "sees the light" by hanging around a bunch of good Christian people who teach her the virtues of belief.
But no. She's not an atheist at all. From the get-go we see that she believes in God. She acknowledges him, talks to him, prays to him. So you hit the nail on the head. She's just not Christian _enough,_ I guess. That family sucked.
Yes it’s a movie about shaming Christians who these people don’t consider Christian enough. That’s it. Abandon your entire identity and the idea of a personal relationship with God, and replace it with performative nonsense and a judgemental attitude.
@@MissCaraMint makes sense given the people who made the movie weren’t even Christians, not to say they should have been but it explains a lot.
Not really. The movie’s just badly written. She talks with her friends and co-worker earlier on in the movie about how she’s not really a Christian (like agnostic or something), but still decides to date someone under the pretense that she is one.
It’d be like if someone really were to go on Farmer’s Only, you dated someone who thought you were a farmer, you pretended to be a farmer so that you wouldn’t get broken up with, and then the farmer breaks up with you for lying to them for a month.
@@whichcache2517 omg,, theres a farmers month, 👁👁
@@hat7475 There’s dating sites for everyone. There was even one for bronies, although I think that was a scam or something.
All she had to do was say she was a fresh convert and didn’t know much about the bible.
John Doe Ding ding!
That's what I thought. But I'm Jewish so I didn't know if that was a bad thing...?
Soraya Alcyone: If what was a bad thing. Pretending to believe the same god to get with a guy?
Speaking From a christian perspective, this movie is terrible.
The girl is stupid for wanting to date a christian man. When we date, we don’t date for sex. we court. We are testing for marriage, because we can’t sleep with boyfriends or girlfriends until we marry. Sex is half the reason secular people form romantic relationships. So the only way the girl was going to get to have sex with a christian man was if she married him, which would mean keeping up the facade forever. Why would she want a christian boyfriend???
The guy is stupid for accepting her after her lie just because she claimed to have changed. You become a christian for yourself and god, not because you like some guy and want to become part of his culture. I assume for most european jews it’s more a cultural thing, but I think in more religious jewish communities they would think the same thing. if I were him, I would have waited several years to know that she meant it and wasn’t just trying to smooz me for the D. It’s just such a terrible “christian” film. They are both stupid characters and the christians are such stupid, boring stereotypes KILL IT!
@@sorayaalcyone2726 it's not a bad thing.
@John Doe it's facts tho. One of the main reasons most people date is for sex, but Christian's arent allowed to have sex before marriage because of what the Bible says, so if a girl wants to have sex then it makes no sense to go after a Christian boyfriend since he wont give it to her. Nothing condescending, she was just saying how it is🤷♂️ You may think the guy was an ass, but if you found out someone lied to you for months and faked a whole persona just to get with you, you would probably leave them too.. and funny enough guys do this to girls all the time and they get called trash and fboys (which they are, don't get me wrong), but for some reason when a girl does it, nobody has a problem😂 all in all tho, even if the case was that she didnt lie, ion think it's an issue that he doesnt want to date someone who doesnt believe what he believes because that's a pretty fundamental part of someone's lifestyle, and quite frankly, you're allowed to set any standard you want when it comes to dating a partner because you have that freedom to choose who you want to choose 🤷♂️
The gulping scene is traumatic AF.
Kurtis, I love your humor so much! Thank you for always making me laugh 🥰
Okay but her going back to Mexico to teach English to kids sounds like such a thing an actual Christian would do and then brag about how they helped another country be more ''American'' or some racist bullshit like that.
I mean not all of us say that garbage
@@aidenhoogstra8636 yes but some do when they go on those dumb mission trips.
I'm Christian, and I've never met anyone who would say this nonsense lol.
@@aidenhoogstra8636 #notallchristians huh ?
Deadass. They follow whatever whitewashed bullshit “god” tells them