6 Signs Your Almond Mom Caused Your Eating Disorder
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
- If you spend time on TikTok you've likely seen videos of Yolanda Hadid's toxic behavior to her kids, pressuring them around food and pushing unhealthy eating habits and relationship with food onto her kids. This has been coined as almond mom on TikTok, likely because of a video where Yolanda Hadid tells Gigi Hadid how to eat and chew an almond to make her less hungry. The reality is this type of behavior exhibited by Yolanda Hadid or by an almond mom is more common than you think and can present itself in many different ways. It essentially is when our mother or mom takes their own unhealthy relationship with food or disordered eating and places it onto their kids. This can cause the kids to not only have an unhealthy or toxic relationship with food from their mom, but it can also lead to an eating disorder or disordered eating whether it be anorexia nervosa or bulimia or overeating tendencies or several different things. Here are 5 signs that your mom may be an almond mom or may have been an almond mom, and how that toxic mom behavior can affect your life today. I'll also talk through how to heal from disordered eating that may impact you today or the lasting effects of this level of childhood emotional neglect or childhood trauma. Did you have an almond mom? How does that impact you today?
Some more videos you may find helpful:
7 invisible eating disorders: • 7 Invisible Eating Dis...
Are eating disorders about control: • Are Eating Disorders A...
8 reasons you may not want to recover from an ED: • 8 Reasons You Don’t Wa...
Almond moms and the illusion of wellness: • almond moms and the il...
Almond Moms & Generational Dieting CAUSED Your Overeating:
• Almond Moms & Generati...
PUBLISHED BOOKS
Traumatized geni.us/Bfak0j
Are u ok? geni.us/sva4iUY
Join this channel & access more perks:
/ @katimorton
ONLINE THERAPY
While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: betterhelp.com... (enjoy 10% off your first month)
SOCIAL
X: / katimorton
TikTok: / katimorton
Facebook: / katimorton1
Instagram: / katimorton
Pinterest: / katimorton1
Patreon: www.katimorton...
PARTNERSHIPS
Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com
Was your mom like this? This could still impact you today. Here are 7 invisible eating disorders that could have come from growing up with an almond mom: ruclips.net/video/xjDofzdRTCk/видео.html
No but there are many types of problematic and narcissistic/borderline etc mothers that engage in other equally toxic behavior. It is so sad how many/some mothers who should be supportive are so toxic for their children especially daughters 😢 they often cause life-long trauma in their children. It’s so unfair because every child/human deserves a good mother 😔
The title alone has me rethinking my sub to this channel
My mother would t really let us/me have soda. Mostly bc it would cause me to have UTIs okay, sometimes it did but not as much as she claimed. But other foods, she was always like here have cake bc I’m having it. Even when I didn’t want it. Eat more bc you didn’t eat enough etc. 😢
My kids, I told them to eat until your tummy is full. As for sweets and treats, if they didn’t have dinner (lunch etc) as a smaller child 8ish and below) you need to eat something healthy and real and THEN you can have a sweet. But if they had a decent meal and want ice cream cookies etc okay. But I did control how many. I asked them do you want one two three or one hundred? 😂I want five. Nope if you want more than 3 I’ll give you one hundred. Then count one two three one hundred (as I gave them 5) 😅 😂 I do it with my grandson (7years old) he thinks it is the funniest thing EVER!
I’ve given my kids portioned food but told them they could have more if they wanted it. Especially if it’s something they wanted a lot of but rarely ate all of it.
What is the terminology and possible effects of a mother on the "other side" of this issue? The mother who struggles to lose weight your whole upbringing and passes on the pressure to "not end up like them"?
@@didamnesia3575 How so, here if you want to chat /anything that's coming up for you?
I grew up in the eighties so I didn’t have an almond mom, I had a cigarettes and coffee mom. Same difference.
Yes to all of these. It has really strained my relationship with my mom. Exercise was punishment, the kitchen was “hers” and closed to me, daily weigh-ins… I could go on and on. Currently working with a therapist and a dietitian on all of this.
Ugh I am so sorry you had to grow up with those types of rules and consequences. And I am so glad you are getting help for it now. xoxo
Don't forget almond Dad! Mine used to say, "That's not a single size serving!" no matter how much I would take. I still hoard food because of him.
Soo true! In my teenage years, my best friend's dad would always make comments about how I looked; 'those jeans are too tight on you, you should lose weight if you want to wear them', 'that tank top is too showing, you should cover up your bigger bosom'. I HATED going over to their house if I knew he'd be at home. Later we found out he was a horrible husband too, constantly cheating.
@@CuteCatsofIstanbul "Creepy perv dad" so cringe, I can't imagine what your friend went through growing up with that type of "dad". 😞
So I am someone who as a child developed Binge Eating disorder that was mostly hidden and unnoticed till after I got married and felt secure and accepted by my husband and gained a tremendous amount of weight. (also struggled with self harm and was later diagnosed with CPTSD) I now have 14,12,10 & 8 year old girls that are watching their mom with 200lbs to lose. I have been open with them about how I used food to cope with emotions and trauma. Open about what I am doing to lose weight (50lbs down so far!) But reinforcing that food is fuel for our body and can be a source of enjoyment, but not to be a replacement for working thru our thoughts and emotions. We don't use terms like healthy or unhealthy, good, bad foods, I ask them to think about what foods are made of and what things our body probably needs more of to work well and feel good and what things might make us physically feel bad if we have to much of them. Living in America we have easy access to pretty much any kind of food we want, whenever we want. If there is something we really love we can have a few bites, enjoy it and be done, we don't have to stuff ourselves till we are sick like we can never have it again, or on the opposite side its ok to have a few bites of something purely for enjoyment because it taste good. It's hard as a parent to know the things you struggle with can effect your children negatively, I am just trying my best to be open and giving space for questions and talking thru things so they have a healthy, fun relationship with food that is not a burden to them as they grow up....
You know, some of these "consequences," as opposed to "signs" are common ways you can relate to food in poverty too. Especially the scarcity mindset, self-esteem and shame issues, an obsession with appearance, stress, etc. All associated with food. I think that I sometimes have eating disorder behaviors from growing up in food scarcity. I've seen them in others for this reason too. I'd love to see a video on how poverty causes disordered eating behavior, or eating disorders. The way these disordered behaviors are treated in therapy also doesn't make sense for people whose disordered behaviors were caused by poverty. I'd love to hear a discussion about this.
What do you do when the food is genuinely bad and you want to raise your children with healthy ideals? The grocery store is filled with so much junk that is bad for you. I want my kids to know that dye is bad for you and to avoid seed oils, and whatever else I learn. How to properly go about this? I hate that I was raised on soda and candy. My parents didn’t know better though. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything by making small changes. (I’ve never had body issues I genuinely care about health though)
I would of course allow sweets and desserts. I would just make them homemade when I can. Of course they can have a birthday cake. Chips are fine too. I also eat fast food occasionally! I’m not insane about it, but I just want them to know it’s not ideal to have 24/7. But for example.. Halloween candy? 😬 I don’t love the majority of the popular Halloween choices. I would give them alternatives. They still taste great! Companies are getting so good at making candy that’s “better” for you. Is that bad? Is it ok to inform them, but let them make their own decisions? Give them better options at home that are still fun? I’m not anti candy or anti sugar. The grocery shelves just sell the worst of the worst for no reason. Help please
We will never get better options in stores if we just tolerate the crap they feed us. Where is the line?
I would think all of that is good. The issue is when you try to control everything they eat how much they eat and when to eat. Control control control!!! Also when you are fixed on how people look specially about how much they weight. My mom is in her 70' and keeps making comments about how fat is this person or that one and how much she is trying to look weight ( even though she is not overweight) She does not bother me. For some reason I can eat whatever and don't gain weight and I don't feel inclined to eat anything sweet but talks like and almond grandma in front of my child and I have to constantly correct her.
You need to rewatch the video and open your eyes to your own disordered eating habits. Your food rules are excessive and will cause your kid to develop their own issues as they grow up.
@@andrewoats I don’t have disordered eating. I don’t withhold any foods from myself nor would I my future children. Did you even read what I said? I said I would inform them and let them make their own choices. I just don’t put up with the slop and literal chemicals they feed us. Millionaires and billionaires will continue to save pennies by giving us low quality ingredients that are proven to be linked to cancer because of people like you who refuse to educate themselves and label anybody who cares as “disorder eating”. I’ve never withheld a single piece of food from myself. I did not relate to 90% of the things discussed in this video. crazy reply.
There should be nothing wrong with me swapping out traditional starbursts for a dye free and corn syrup free starburst competitor that tastes THE SAME. Why not? Answer that.
@@angelaggarrido7816 I had a friend who got cupcakes from a friend for a birthday and she had to hide them in her room. Her mom found them and threw them away. I always thought that was INSANE and my friends sister actually developed a really bad ED and they wondered why. I would absolutely never do that. I do wonder how to go about teaching “healthier” swaps for bad foods correctly though. Not sure how to yet. I’m lucky I have enough time to figure all of this out before children though! 😅
@@andrewoats disordered eating for replacing a traditional starbursts with a dye free and corn syrup free alternative that tastes the SAME? Goodbye
I also said I do not withhold any foods from myself and I would never withhold any foods from my future child. I said I would inform them and let them choose for themselves. Did you even read what I said?
I always thought of my stepmom as an almond mom, but I just realized my mom is also one. Now that I’m an adult with multiple sclerosis and deal w severe fatigue, I’m always hearing that I need to eat this or that or do this exercise. When I told my mom the trick I figured out to help me eat (a handful of chips helps stimulate my appetite) she was horrified even though I’ve lost 50 lbs in the last few years from my lack of appetite.
❤️😞
This video will be my undoing…you opened a door I have never seen before and after seeing it this controls my whole life. I never recognized this, but everything you mention here was present in my life and has me now in a terrible spot in my life. This is lifechanging. I need to think about this and listen to it few times more.
Oh yes, this is her.
Since 2020, I made the decision to better my health by taking daily walks and trying to eat better. Gradually the changes started to show. When my mom noticed she would say “you look good”.
She never said this to me when I was heavier. Now it frustrates me when she says it.
In addition, I can never eat when she visits. I feel like anything I pick is going to be met with criticism. I usually find myself making a Chick fil a run out of spite.
Advice for finding balance? I want to encourage our kiddo (3) to eat whole foods, and also enjoy treats. But if we have treats in the house (which we often do), it's all he talks about :( We had donuts for Father's day and he struggled to eat anything else besides a few bites of sweet potatoes last night because he just wanted donuts. We try not to do the "you need to eat three bites of this to get that" thing. We explain that sugar isn't bad, but foods with lots of sugar/processed foods are "sometimes foods". But i think it makes him want them more still. Do we let him eat 6 donuts, and have nothing nutritious/filling for dinner, then wake up hungry in the night after his blood sugar crashes? How to we set healthy limits(?) without causing a scarcity mindset or orthorexia 😬Ideas would be so appreciated!
I mean......he's only 3, so I don't think it's weird that he's excited for snacks and talks about them a lot 😅 Little kids tend to fixate on the things they're interested in, whether it's a snack, an animal, a tv show etc. Obviously he can't only eat dessert and never any dinner, that wouldn't be healthy for him. But I don't think it's bad that he wants dessert or talks about it. Distraction and redirection may be your best bet here, but do let him talk, bc that's important for language acquisition and emotional security in a developing brain. It's not to make him feel he's not being listened to, it's just to hopefully increase his range of interests and topics of discussion.
As for the practical application, maybe you could keep desserts/snacks on an upper shelf for now, or just not make a big deal about it whenever you buy something or bring something into the house that you'd rather he not see/ask for. You can dole out small amounts and say "oh, that's all there is! No more!" as long as he can't figure out where it comes from or how to get it himself, but some kids are crafty lol, so this may not work 😅
As he gets older, kiddo will be able to understand why nutrition matters, the importance of a balanced diet, stuff like that. But it's definitely good to start SAYING these things now (the way you already do), just to get yourself in the habit if nothing else, but it might be a while before he can really.....connect the dots about why Mom/Dad/Gran/Other Beloved Grown-Up say we can't have donuts for dinner every day. This revelation may lead to tears, but alas, it's a revelation we all must have 😔
Good luck with the sprout! Hope he gives you lots of love and little trouble! Also be careful if you put stuff on top of the refrigerator, I was a little climber and I tried to get a box of cereal by myself at age 4 😅 It was really really messy, long story short my mom found me in a puddle of Cheerios and tears and it was very sad 🤣
My mom and my grandmother were very much almond moms. My grandmothers last words to me were that I was fat. I loved my grandmother a lot so to hear her say that was incredibly painful. It was a month ago and I still stop in front of every mirror I come to, to examine the amount of fat I have on my body.
Stop worrying about fat. Eat foods that nourish you and have vitamins, antioxidants and protein, with the odd treat so you stay sane. If you do it for health, you will find your body's natural set point and feel good. Who cares if that set point is not super thin. If you eat for health, you might get an extra few pounds, but it won't get out of control.
In the grand scheme, almond moms are just another nutty twist in the absurdity of existence.
Lol!!
I basically had the opposite. There was a time I came home from college, and just before I left was given two bags of groceries. When I got back to my apartment I unloaded one bag, and found the next was filled with sweet rolls and cookies, chocolate and candies, etc. Way more than I could eat on my own before they would go stale. I took it all down to the student lounge.
My ex husband is an almond dad.
It's a lot like drug/alcohol prohibition vs addiction recovery. It might be necessary for someone with a food or drug addiction to impose rigid restrictions on their own intake in order to recover, but to impose it on someone who doesn't have those problems can often be counterproductive and lead to them wanting to binge on something that's forbidden instead of developing a healthy relationship with it.
I usually like your videos but this is one topic I disagree with. I don't feel like there's enough distinction between harmful food limitations and setting healthy limits on low/no nutrition foods aka junk foods. I also think it's irresponsible to blame someone else for one's own lack of self control.
While I agree that, to a degree parents can contribute to disordered eating habits, it's ultimately the individual who has to learn and administer healthy eating practices, and know and understand what "healthy" means, in terms of their body's nutritional needs. Truth is, many people struggle with self control with low nutrition foods. And there isn't a satiety indicator because people don't eat them out of hunger- it's strictly for the enjoyment of taste. This leads to adverse health effects that can affect a person over the long term and greatly reduce quality of life.
What I really disagree with is vilifying parental figures (in this case, moms exclusively) for trying to instill values around healthier consumption to their children. You acknowledged that it likely stems from a mother's own relationship with food, yet don't take into consideration that she's often trying to prevent her children from having the same struggle.
I'm not talking about women who starve their children for vanity, which is an extreme you mentioned, but I'm talking about mothers who place limits or choose not to have certain products in their home, whether due to personal beliefs or dietary goals for her family. And if the mother herself knows she struggles with self control, she won't want to have access to it in her home, thereby including the rest of the family in it by default.
This topic is so complex and there are so many variants on this, but it sounds immature to lump all of these behaviors into one and simply say "Mom is bad" for imposing limits. That's what parents do.
And once you're an adult, YOU make your food choices, and it's up to YOU to decide what's ok for you. If you're still blaming mom, who's not even there, then you're stuck in a child mindset and need to address that more than anything.
I've lived with food scarcity until the age of 9 (extreme poverty), I've lived with a stepmom who rationed my food as a teen (regular food), I stole and hid food as a teen and regularly overate when away from home to compensate (I'd eat my friends scraps at lunch bc I never had money/food from my parents), as an adult recognized my lack of impulse control with low nutrition foods and limiting my access to them kept me in good health (you naturally feel full when you meet your nutritional needs). I'm a wonderful cook and I love food, but I'm human. And while I recognize the abuses from my childhood, I only hold myself responsible for the choices I make now. I recognize my children's lack of self control and only limit things that aren't good for them (low/no nutrition) for their well-being, because I want them to be balanced and well nurtured.
I guess my gripe with this video is that it paints too broadly and one sided a picture to be good advice for people who may be struggling. It's detrimental to relationships due to a perceived deprivation. I'm not saying I condone food abuse (or any abuse), just saying I don't think this video is helpful..
Aren’t we in need of finding a balance? There are some horrible edible substances out there that pretend to be food. They can be addictive for some people. I know families that eat everything and anything. Some of them are in excess of 300 pounds. My wife and I are retired, we allow ourselves to eat anything we want on weekends but stick to healthy foods on weekdays. We rarely eat prepared packaged food, instead we take the time to make everything from scratch. I even make the dog food we feed our dog who in her elder years saw a huge improvement to her health when I started making it.
I do not blame people for being addicted to bad food, I blame the food industry. But of course, this has to be a personal choice.
Wow. I had not heard of this before, but both my parents were exactly like this. It was and still is, how someone looks. My mom relishes when she can tell me her sister looks fat and how she looks better. She made me go on so many diets. Age 12, made me go to a very strict diet place. I live states away and she still tries to tell me how and what I should be eating. It's so toxic. The evil thing is I tell her I am not eating sugar and very low carbs, she sends boxes of those kind of foods.
Sabotage! Try to go low contact or no contact for a while. It will eventually feel like a blessing
"We can even fin ourselves chosing friends or romantic partners who mimic the behaviour of our mom"
After I left my abusive ex/father of my dauther, I realized how he was so much like my mom with control around food and my weight. This quote in this video hit me hard.
I feel like I’m becoming an almond adult
My mom is obsessed with insulin and glucose spikes (she isn't diabetic, by the way). She doesn't trust sweeteners and told me I could use shredded coconut to make a dessert sweet, I asked her if she actually meant coconut sugar, and she said "no, I mean coconut, it's actually really sweet, isn't it?" I got frustrated and then she said "oh, is this triggering to you?".
It's easy for me to refuse extra treats and food that can be too much, when I am around people, but sometines I can barely control my cravings when alone. I can allow myself things I probably shouldn't or eat everything I cooked in a single sitting.
Yeah, my mom fits the bill to a t.
I was sneaking food from as early as I remember. I would sneak bites of things into the pockets of clothes hung in my closet. I was called greedy for letting my hunger show.
I still struggle to eat in front of others.
I grew up like this.. my mom criticize what I eat so I said: please don’t criticize my food when Im eating, I lose appetite.
she: when I am supposed to tell you then?
Me: when I ask your opinion. Clearly she didn’t like my answer..
The way I've seen some people say to think about foods when teaching kids to eat healthy is this is a sometimes food and this is an all the time food or everyday food. So something like vegetables they have access to all the time whenever they want. fruit is everyday multiple times a day usually with breakfast and lunch but also a substitute for when they're really wanting the cookie they just saw laying in the cupboard and they've already had they're sweet treat. Things like icecream i try to find substitutes for so they can have it daily. Right now I use a strawberry banana yogurt that they really like and use an icecream mold to freeze it for them. they like it just as much as the regular icecream. I'm working with a dietician to learn how to eat healthy myself because The best way to teach them to eat healthy is to be a model of healthy eating.
I used to “play” weight watchers in grade 3 with my friends and sister. My sister was in grade 1. We would weigh in weekly and have a meeting about what we ate.
The most unhinged things my Almond Mom has done:
1) At a restaurant w/my Mom & friend. Reached for a roll & she said "No, you don't need any" but didn't stop my thin friend.
2) Praised me when thin (bought me a car), but shamed me for gaining. “Have you looked at yourself? Do you see how bad you look?” Offered to pay for ozempic & liposuction.
3) When I declined said above things: “Who is a cute guy gonna go for…*skinny best friend* or you??”
4) Paid $6k to put me in an intense weight loss program. I said no & she threatened to sell my house (she's the owner) so I'd have to move back in with her.
5) Got a tummy tuck because she was appalled at her normal (not overweight) size, then started ozempic a week later to ensure she kept it off.
I don't think my parents were ever this bad regarding food specifically, but my dad definitely always made sure to make remarks about my body and make my relationship with myself worse. He wouldn't specifically say "you shouldn't eat that" or "you can't eat that", he would just flat out say I'm fat or say I should lose weight, etc. which definitely contributed to me developing an eating disorder and a terrible relationship with food a few years back. I'm better now, but that's one of the many reasons why I cut him out of my life.
Sometimes it hurts when people joke about almond moms. My Asian mother made me bulimic at the age of 12. She made me walk home if she found out I bought Starbucks or used my allowance at the vending machine. It eventually led to anorexia, depression, anxiety, and s***dal thoughts. this is such a common thing for Asian mothers. the first time she fat shamed me was when I was 8 years old. Something needs to seriously be done about this cultural issue (and for all around the world) People dismiss it bc “she’s just an Asian mom, it’s tough love” blah blah. They pass it off as a cultural difference instead of abuse. She sent me to fat camp every summer, and forced me to play sports year round that I hated, even when I told her the girls were mean and bullied me she forced me to stay and told me if I stay and loose weight the girls will want to be my friend. As I grew older I never had a boyfriend bc my mom put thoughts into my head that made me feel boys were only being polite and that no one could ever be attracted to me. Again I’m 27 and STILL have not been able to allow myself to be loved. I am trying to heal myself, and find where I want to stand with her. I hope to adopt kids someday but do not want her anywhere near them. Ty for being so gentle and validating when speaking about this topic.
OK. Funny, because my mom had issues around food, BUT went to the other extreme. She is overweight.
I was not allowed to eat what SHE might wanted to eat (in the future). But how should I know. I was not allowed to cook for myself, although I always wanted to. She does not like bake and seldomely used the kitchen - so I was not allowed to bake and use the kitchen. But I wanted to. I visited my grandma so I could be able to bake a birthdaycake. And now it makes me sad to think about how easy it was to use the kitchen there and that my grandma also wanted to help and to join me.
At home I was not allowed to NOT EAT, when I wanted to. I HAD TO EAT. I would be ungrateful if I was not hungry. But there was also a mentality of jealousy around food and about not sharing. Keeping leftovers (if there were any) for yourself and it was forbidden to touch them. (But it was ok for my mom to eat them, if it were mine ...?)
And she was not focused on me looking good at all. - More like the opposite. She spoke horribly about girls who were skinny. Like beeing skinny = beeing a bad person, or something. She judged me for wanting to get healthy and loose weight. And she sabotaged it.
We rarely had sweets when we were children, apart from hollidays, when we were bombarded with enormous amounts of it. But we got judged when we eate them "before meals", and we got judged when we could not regulate and ate nearly all of the sweets in two days. But our parents were allowed to have and eat sweets whenever they wanted.
Since we moved out our parents binge eat on chips and choclate every evening and drink alcohol while watching Netflix. Wow ... that is healthy.
But in the eyes of my parent that is not the problem. Their problem is me eating fruits. Mom wants to tell me how much sugar fruits would have and I should not eat to much of them. And I could loose my teeth if I ate to much sour fruits because this would attac their surface ... 😅🤨 (what?!)
Since I am nearly normal weight I get comments on my body who are kind of jealous. But dad says since I "now look good" I would have the chance to find a boyfriend easily.
On rhe other hand both of my parents talk bad about my brother and him beeing overweight and gaining weight (due to stress they cause for him.) Nice.
Where does it make sense? 🥲 I am SO CONFUSED.
Beeing able to eat and nourish my body the way I WANT was one of the most freeing thing for me, when I moved out. But I can not controll it, when I am stressed. And when I am, I binge eat the hell out of chocklate - like seriously I have never heard and seen anyone doing. (And I judge myself afterwards of course ...)
Have a nice day btw. ❤
Love from Germany
i have anorexia and my mom keeps triggering me, saying i shouldn't eat something when i have fasted for days just to be able to eat it. she keeps telling me to stick to my "diet" even though i'm underweight. i don't know if she would understand how much i'm suffering because of this disorder and she just makes it worse
Having an almond mom is hard and I'm glad I got that realization because ever since I figured it out, now whatever she tells me I just tell her it's MY body and just simply block out any comment she has and I feel free. Before that, she had always made me feel bad about my body pointing out my weight every once in a while or telling me that the shirt I want is for skinny people and my self esteem has always been so low, the way I looked at my body was different every time. Now I've worked on accepting me and I no longer feel guilty for craving food, no longer look at cals or fats. I finally can stand up for myself.
I would really like to know where you draw the line because I think especially in this day and age we have to educate our children on what is healthy food and what is not. Some examples were unclear to me. I would say that eating outside is much unhealthier than cooking and there is clearly some food which has zero nutritional value. We have to teach that to our children. Obesity is a disease in our society today.
Wow. So many of these were in my home. I had no idea.
I can never tell when I’m full. Lots of powerful food guilt as well, and no surprise, lifelong weight challenges. Eyes opened.
Ugh. This is terrible. We grew up without almost any TV, desserts, etc. and to this day my mother will shame me for ordering juice or how much sugar I eat (even though she doesn’t live with me at nearly 34 years old). Always sending me videos about the horrors of sugar. I also have ADHD, and I’ve always had a sweet tooth. And I think it’s frustrating dealing with her. But I think she may at least be a mildly almond mom. Thank you for this!
My FATHER was like this! Me and my 2 siblings had eating disorders because of him. My brother got addicted to food and then got surgery. I’m 5’9 and when I weighed 150lbs size 8 my father was on diet pills and got me some. We weren’t allowed to drink with dinner or past 8pm. I’m 46 and I weigh myself everyday because of him.
Sadly, my dad is the one who really encourages my bad eating habits. He would always talk about how I should diet and lose weight but then offer me tons of fast food after saying that.
I’ve sadly relapsed due to having to move back in with him. I definitely can see some behaviors in him that the “almond mom” has.
Tessa talked about how that stuff wasnt allowed in her house and why her sweets stayed with her friend Ray and Ray used to get asked why do you have girly sweets and he said those are tessas she can't have them at her house so he talked about being her storage facility
No eating disorder with her just a different location for the sweets
Every summer I'd visit my grandparents for two weeks, states away from my parents and my grandmother was an almond grandma. I would get weighed every other day, berated for wanting seconds (i spent ALL DAY playing outside, i was burning a lot of calories), and always making comments on how "tight" my clothes were. My mom was into diet culture but never put it on me. My grandma was def the perpetrator of my bad relationship with food.
So the alternative is to allow kids to eat cookies, cakes and dring soda every day? Have you seen the obesity in children in US? Her advice is correct tomcome out a a long fast, you need to reintroduce food in a very small amount first. Even if in their case it seems more like a starvation diet for modeling.
In her 50’s/60’s my mom put an old photo of herself in her flight attendant uniform from the 70’s (early 20’s), on our family fridge, as “motivation”…I don’t recall how old I was, but she use to tell me about “living on cans of tuna” in her 20’s and weekly weigh-ins as a flight attendant…My first time restricting I was 11/12 years old…
My dad is 80 and I would say close to being orthorexic. There are good and bad foods, he grabs what little stomach fat he has, after meals in front of me…I cannot move out because despite him being 80, he is healthier and more physically able-bodied than I am. I feel extremely trapped…
What?
Meaning he almost fits the full diagnosis.
I changed the wording. Not to be confused with BPD…if something is “borderline”, they almost fit a criteria.
Yolanda Hadid is terribly toxic
I think my mom somewhat fit the cafeterias, but instead of telling me i eat too much, it was that i eat too little and she too much.. It did trigger an ED for me where i just didn't eat most meals..
My mom has complained about her weight for as long as i can remember - She did *try* to restrict her intake, especially of sugar. She would cave in on Fridays and she could devour a bag of candy in literal minutes! if we had cake or muffins she would go out several times A DAY and take some, and constantly complain about how she shouldn't and its bad for her and so on.
We often had fruit in the home, she often made fruit plates, which i loved, but she would often not touch it as much as i did.
I didn't grow up with chips, popcorn, cola, candy, sweets. We did bake muffins often, and she did buy a bag of caramels or chocolates every Friday, but she would have to give a piece to my pile every time she ate one or she would eat the whole bag before i had gotten 2..
(I'm a slow eater and my teeth have always been super sensitive, so i cant eat much of certain sweets.. I liked sweets but i enjoyed fruits just as much! I also cannot eat much as my stomach is just small or something, it have always been like that..)
After i moved out she started dieting and working out a lot more, she constantly complains about her weight and she is quite a reasonable size, and she does fit the "always dieting"..
Because of her, i learned that i have my candy, and you have yours.. I NEVER share, because if i do, i don't get any at all.. This was only reaffirmed by my later ex boyfriend, damn :P
My mom have commented ALOT on my food intake and body weight, but i was underweight, so she was very concerned. She always told me "you haven't eaten anything on you plate, you gotta eat more" this would be after i have spend 30 minutes eating everything but the meat, and i would have slowly begun on the meat when that comment hits... Every single day..
I would be trying so hard on eating EVERYTHING, and she would comment "you haven't touched x, don't you like it/is something wrong with it" or "urhg its SO hard to make food for you, you are such a picky eater!".. Again i eat slow.. slower then most people.. And she will still to this day say "aren't you going to finish your food?" or "you haven't even touched it" or "cant you finish that last bit?"
"Eat what's allowed." That sums it up right there. Growing up, I was forced to eat whatever mom made because I wasn't allowed in the kitchen. My self-esteem is shot out the ass. Mom got rid of the mirrors in the house because she felt that I wasn't that cute or handsome to need one. I'm single and alone because my self-esteem is gone. All the nonstop drama, anger, items flying towards my face, naw homegirl, Almond Mom is a definite UNDERSTATEMENT.
I personally know RUclips blogger who certainly has an ED and her kids have to follow her rules 5 days a week and only have treats on weekends
She quotes “nothing tastes better than skinny” in her video about what she eats and doesn’t eat to stay slim
Her kids are teenagers and not overweight
She also gives advices how to loose weight
According to her she has been eating like that since she was 18
I had almond parents.
My father would circle the unhealthy ingredients in my own pantry (as an adult).
Soooo passive aggressive comments.
He'd tease my sister and put a grape on her plate at dinner b/c she didn't like most foods and was skin and bones.
Intuitive eating ignores the reality that people eat for lots of reasons other than being hungry, like boredom. As an approach, it works for some, but the process of eating and hunger involves way more than "intuition".
I had an almond dad and, let me tell you, it was awful! He always found some scientific justification for all the restriction, allegedly doing it for our own health. Idk how healthy he thought making his children develop EDs, but it certainly messed so much with my body, its growth and functions, I could never thank him for it.
What her mom threw out her birthday the day after her birthday whatttt.
My birthday was 4 days ago and I still have birthday cake in the fridge ate some yesterday and might have some today❤
I wish society was caught up and didn’t sell toxic food. Sugar has given so many cavities to my teeth. In the meantime, people being authoritarian on others in family dynamics is just difficult
This seems ridiculous to me. we dont need a label for everything
And yet, the title made me wonder, and my mother's little jar with almonds came to my mind, and, it's exactly what I thought of. It's a matching label.
Labels help people identify their issues and that’s the first step to working on them. Sometimes people don’t even notice there’s an issue until they see something like this. I always knew my mother had disordered eating patterns but it wasn’t enough to be a diagnosis like anorexia. Almond mom describes her pretty well although she would never tell me to snack like that, I’d just be told to wait till dinner.
So what, should it be a free for all, we all get to eat whatever we want whenever? I have never been overweight, and that is not the issue here, but when I used to eat lots of processed foods and sugar I was covered in eczema, had brain fog, inflammation, trouble focusing and yeast infections. Sorry, but eating whole foods you cook yourself is way healthier. The people who eat whatever they want are pushing themselves towards a health crisis. It is only stressful not to eat processed foods and sugar because it is pushed by society. If your mom loves you, she gives you enough veggies and protein and a cookie for desert, not a bowl of sugar cereal for dinner followed by a pizza pocket and half a tub of ice cream. And this is NOT always about weight, it is about general health. I get that extreme dieting and restriction makes no sense, but not having processed food in the house makes sense. I always say eat how ever many carbs you want, just not on an empty stomach and eat your veggies and protein first.
I don’t think certain foods are either good or bad. There’s just a few that I binge on so I don’t keep them in the house. If I really want that particular food I will go out and treat myself to a smaller portion and then I’m done.
My narcissistic autistic mom and autistic dad were both like this their whole lives
If they are diagnosed autistic, it's possible they both should get checked out for ARFID as well.
My eldest sister was the almond person in my life. She did care for me as a child as mom was super flaky. I lived with another sister and she was a counter to this. STILL, I got the message of being unacceptable... but really I was always unacceptable and abandoned in general.
Some doctors are really almond people too! I ended up more disordered because of their judgement. While going through cancer treatment, I attempted weight loss because of the judgement of my primary doctor and the surgeon. Then I had enough and started weeping. Instead of being kind, my doc raised her voice so I could hear her over my tears. I asked her to back off and she didn't so I panicked and literally ran screaming from her office. I had no business attempting weight loss in the middle of treatment. They should never have suggested it. It took me a number of years to find a kind doctor who listens.
No reason to suggest that unless you need surgery and then to explain why but chemo on its own usually causes weight loss and an issue in itself plus muscle weights more then fat so when people try to lose weight they tend to start lifting weights and maintaining weight over lose in some cases (little kuribohs wife refuses to lose weight but she lifts weights)
Shes an opera singer so losing weight an issue with getting jobs she ended a few shows because of her weight she proudly got to be the fat woman that ended the show
We are still here when she talked about it a great series mainly about lks depression and how he dealt with it over the years
Didn't think I had an almond mom because she has always been a foodie and never cared about my weight. But she fits the bill for the all local / organic / homemade thing. It got worse when her boyfriend got type 2 diabetes. She decided he would control it by food alone and not use insulin.
Did he get a handle on it with just food? I'm curious?
@@MWear-x8t he did! The doctor even told him he could stop his pills if he stayed on that diet. But it's a full-time job for my mom, and at 71 she deserves a break but they are on a fixed income so a meal prep service with those dietary restrictions is way out of their reach.
@@MWear-x8t he did. The doctor even told him he could stop his pills, as long as he stayed on that diet. But it's a full-time job for my mom. At 71 I think she deserves a break, but they are on fixed incomes so pre-made meals with those restrictions as completely out of the question.
There is a reason the world is not run by eight year olds. I know some who would live on french fries, candy, and sodas if they could. Not all guidance by adults is toxic. This video did not seem to offer a balanced view of how to teach that giving in to every urge can lead to dysfunction as well.
So...the opposite of a food addicted Mom.
All things being equal, it should be noted that sugar is not food. Sugar is a controlled substance that can make people very sick. Meanwhile, my mom is obsessed with GERD and special alkaline diets because she has some acid reflux and doesn’t cope well with that being fairly common in 88 year old people. 3 doctors have been involved including 3 endoscopic procedures. Despite being told “no dietary restrictions” , she continues losing sleep over what to eat, when to eat etc. I wish I could help but I don’t think I can.
I... I do this TO MYSELF. Oh my god 😞 I struggle with my weight and recently lost 200#s on a no-carb but gained 90 back by adding in minor carbs like cheese, peanuts, pistachios. I'm terrified of eating ANYTHING with sugar because it WILL make me gain weight. Idk how to get out of this struggle 😭
Holy crap this is my mom to a T! She would count cookies - after eating a couple so she would know if I had any while she was gone. The first thing she asked me when I got engaged was how much weight I planned to lose before we were going dress shopping. Every comment is about what my sister (who's thin) and I eat, how our clothes fit, etc. She tells me all my sister does is workout when she barely goes for a walk and I'm the one who's actually in the gym everyday. She was so controlling she used to open my mail when I stayed there for a bit during college. Like, excuse me, wth? Gee, I can't imagine why I would have a weird relationship with food and a horrible body image as an adult.🤦♀️
That sounds like a bit like my Mother. I DON’T have a ED stands for eating disorder like I am saying I don’t have it. Trigger for all how have ED.
I Love Food. Especially Mac and cheese And all kinds of Pasta.
I can tell even in School I had a teacher how was eating creative. That means she had every Week a new diet or I felt she had every Week a new diet.
i thought this video was going to be about some droll new-age health-store mom trend, but yikes!!!!! yes, my precious and beautiful mom was an almond mom. she was definitely anorexic and malnourished--her abdomen went in instead of out between her hip bones, and she had dimples where her kids have muscle. when i was about 10, i caught hell for hiding two pieces of candy in my room (i was the family scapegoat and was not allowed any privacy). they fat-shamed me for underactive thyroid and for having sugar cravings when i was being overmedicated for thyroid. i grew up with her telling me to have a glass of water if i was hungry. my narcissistic sibling called me fat, even though i was on the low end of normal weight, right up until they could no longer deny that they were the one who was overweight and that my build was trim, healthy, and good. and all of this was with our mom desperately trying to break the even more toxic food behaviors/habits her birth family had. she so wanted us to have a healthy relationship with food, and i'm sure she knew her eating habits were not normal, but she never sought help that i know of, and she still passed along toxic habits to us. so, when my thyroid goes bonkers in the other direction and i need to put on weight, it's an incredibly difficult uphill climb to make myself eat more rather than less because i grew up questioning every bite and--yikes!--i prefer the way my body looks when i'm underweight rather than normal weight.
My mom would get groceries, and my dad would eat everything that was meant to share. So youd go to the freezer to get something and it was all gone. I remember getting chocolates from them one year for xmas and he kept eating them all. Like why buy your kid something if youre then going to eat it all, leaving them with nothing? I could never understand why it was him against us kids but so often it was. Like he had to get to it first. And mom just didnt eat. Im 40 and im just starting to understand that my stomach pains are probably hunger pains. I wish parents realized how much their stuff changes us. Then ya grow up and they say stuff like "well youre supposed to just know to do the opposite of me" "you gotta learn to lie better" etc. All their stuff if precisely why i never had kids even though all i wanted was to be a mom. I didnt want it to continue and made the choice. Considering im this age and am only just really figuring myself out, i think it was the best decision for me.
Equally important to express healthy food lessons that moms (or guardians) can utilize. Much like s e x, healthy convos should be had, I think.
My mum was the opposite of an almond mum. She supplied endless amounts of sugar. I suspect it's because she grew up fairly poor as one of 9 children and where the boys were given more food than the girls. This is the first time I have heard of an 'almond mom'.
This resonates with me and my childhood and, to some extent, today. However my situation is with gender roles reversed. My father was always bouncing between diets and encouraging my brother and I to do the same. I wonder if there is any differences between a mother figure doing this or a father, or is it just the parent figure that matters.
My mum did all the diets and at no point in my life was I ever the 'right weight'. I was either too fat or too thin, the first thing she will speak to me about when we visit each other as adults is about my weight. She has struggled with her weight all her life and projects that onto me always. If my sister is there she says '..and there it is!' (mum hates how my sister dresses) the moment mum says it. This isn't even her worst trait but it sure is a shitty one.
Can you plz upload a video on why some people like to rub hard things like dried bread crumbs between their finger and thumb,why is it so satisfying that one can do it for hours, and how to stop this habit.
There's one extreme of letting your kid become obese and to another extreme of making your child eat, not enough, really just teach your kids to eat healthy and don't over do it with junk food
Sorry, labeling bad food high in sugar as bad, is the correct label. Parents telling there kids and others what to eat is not Toxic, I think your content is;)
Overbearing mom that went beyond almond. Clothes, friends, jobs, sleeping. She had harsh opinions on everything
My parents were strict about our diet too. But we didn't turn toxic and binge eating when we become independent, mostly we just grow to not like that food because we know it's not good for us. And we have a lot of self control because we were taught that way. Isn't that what parents should do, teach you the good and bad?
What am I missing here?
Thank you for your comment. No one can just eat whatever they want whenever. You don't have to go crazy strict. I did have orthorexia (fear of unhealthy food) for a year when I was trying to deal with a health issue. I regret imposing it on my family. As soon as I realized I had this disorder, I worked to reverse it. We still eat whole foods and only have desert AFTER a balanced meal, stuff like that, but I don't freak if someone in my family goes for a burger and fries with their friends once in a while.
Love you videos also wish this was made to represent all parents both my parents participated in toxic diet behavior.
You're hungry? I don't know how you can be, I'm still so full from lunch.
What about kids who literally get angry and mean from sugar?
I had an almond dad. Yeah… didn’t end up grate for me lmao
I find women’s different shades of crazy very boring to me
But is it really an "almond mom," or a "disordered eating mom."
..wait, isn't everyone's mum like this? 😅
I had an almond dad. He’d fluctuate between sneaking us loads of treats and telling us not to tell my mom (so that he could assuage his own guilt around binge eating) and telling us we were all fat and anyone who wasn’t on his particular diet of the month was basically a lazy, useless p.o.s.
And then my mom talks obsessively about what she’s eaten that day and is always saying “We need to get back on track and stop eating badly!” and I’m like “Woman. I’ve been vegan for 10 years, I live on vegetable, beans and pulses… wtf are you talking about!?”
It’s been VERY harmful. I’m 33 and can’t eat anything without feeling intense shame.
The treats in our house were for my sister, not me. - when we had them.
This was definitely my late mom. We rarely ever had sweets (chips and salty nuts were ok, but still rare and felt like they had to be earned) and if my eating was framed weird by her in any way, she’d tell me. I was made to feel off for loving sweets. I was made to do the same exercises that my mom approved of.
I’m now seeing these patterns in my best friend. It’s worrying me.
My dad
This made me do that weird cry-laugh thing whenever I get reminded of something from my childhood that I’ve managed to bury deep. When I was a teenager, I’d put on a little weight after hitting puberty. Everyone’s bodies do wacky stuff at puberty-especially girls. Anyway, I had put on fifteen pounds seemingly overnight, and I got bummed out about it, so my mom put me on a 1,000-calorie-a-day diet (which is NOT ENOUGH!) using her little “calorie reference book” she got when she did Weight Watchers in the late 1970s. Sure, I lost the weight, but now I really struggle with certain foods… like, fresh steamed corn on the cob, for example, which is so delicious. I can still hear my mom saying “Corn is what farmers feed their pigs to fatten them up, is that what you want?” Ugh. My fridge is currently empty, on purpose, because I go through bouts of being *actually afraid* of food.
I think my dad might be an almond dad??
He wasn't always like this though!! He says that he wants to "help me more" than when I was little because when I was little he never said anything about the amount and type of food at the time of eating while also how much and what type of activities I'm doing for exercise :^( I wish I could eat in peace, but if I try to set boundaries in a healthy way he gets super mad and gives me the silent treatment or cuts me off (transportation, money, health insurance, food, communication)!!
Does this sound like a almond dad??
No thats more of an abusive thing and I dealt with that a bit with my parents and I just yelled at them about how much they never cared about x y and z and I also got siblings and I always got a double standard to them
@@ihartevil ohhhhh thank you for your reply!! This helps me out a lot in figuring out how I should go about things with my dad!!
Thank you 💜💖💜
@suejean168 it sounds like he gives you the silent treatment partly as a cut you off from him before you cut him out of your life
I got that treatment from my sister even though I been trying to cut her out of my life since ever I banned her from going to my dorm but nobody at the front desk when she came in and I told my grandmother do not give her that information
I needed to wait another 5 mins probably she would have been gone (no idea she was there or else I would have hung out at the mall (shortcut for heading back from the school)
Anyways now she blocked me on Facebook as though she cut me out of her life because sometimes I left her dosages of reality on her Facebook page and she couldnt handle it and says that I got what I wanted or some stuff like that
While still dropping her baby off here (i still live with my parents) she pretends to be all nice to me and acts as though my problems with her arent legit
Sound anything like your dad
Grew up with that. Kid in the 60s.mother constantly berated me for not looking like twiggy. Judged, shamed, criticised all through my life for my body, appearance. In my 60s now. Still hate my body. Still diet yo-yo ing, been thru anorexia, bullemia, exercise anorexia... You name it. Tried very hard not to raise my daughters like this. Feel surprised when gorgeous, slender women are not happy. Thought that was the way to happiness. 🤷
I grew up with weight watchers when I was just in elementary school, and god forbid when I was grocery shopping for my parents (age 12 or so I think) and I accidentally bought the „normal“ kinds not the low fat/ low calorie options. I got grounded and had to give them my money to pay for the wrong items. Then they were tossed in the trash anyway.
When I was buying clothes my mother would always say something like that’s not good, everybody can see how fat and lazy you are, what kind of light would that be on her as a mother…
And of course I got the respect and love whenever I made „progress“ aka lost weight, did a lot exercises. Now it’s deeply ingrained that she’ll only be proud of me when I’m skinny and anyway I’ve been struggling with eating disorder ever since then, first restriction, then binge eating, now it’s mainly anorexia with overexercise and some binge/purge moments
Sometimes I hate her for that, but I don’t know, somehow can’t be too mad as she obviously has her own issues and I feel kinda sorry for that. I’m working in therapy but I think to some degree the eating disorder will always be part of my life. Right now I’m trying my best to protect my littlest sister and try to let her know she’s perfect as she is. Hopefully our mother doesn’t damage another child like this.
Me: This looks interesting, I'm always to harsh on myself about food.
Ad in the middle: OMG YOUR CREPEY SKIN NEEDS TO GO!
Me: Dang. Dumb crepey skin, I feel ancient.
I certainly have and almond DAD. I suffered a lot of body shaming, he pointed all the "mistakes" in my dieting, told me I should eat less and exercise more, shame me for eating after having exercised. I was extremelly skinny during my teenage years and mid twenties. But started binge eating to cope with the fact that It was never enough, I couldn't please him at all. Now I trying tô lose Weight and have a better relationship with food as well as learn about good dieting and moderation.
I did have a bit of bout of eating disorder when going through cultural transition from Korean to American school, since I happened to be like the only fat girl in my Korean elementary in a fairly & collectively skinny culture. ...Maybe I did display some of the similar symptoms during that times *in my teens such as being quirky with food habits (like eating in a darkened room &/ standing up) to binging after a day worth of fasting, which did made me go faint at one point and stop those behaviors for good.
I now suffer from different issues as a fairly dedicated (if not avid) runner, while at least there's more online resources nowadays for people like me to look up almost freely & help themselves. While the reality I feel is that people are still too divided when one tries to take a sort of drone's approach in my opinion. In South America and elsewhere in Africa people including children have food security issues, while in U.S. & Europe likely one finds women programming their mind about food just not to get fat & ugly. That reality alone I'd say is nothing short of schizophrenic, NGL.
I can say, my mother was never the first 2 signs. But 3 and 5.
But not only food was earned! Rest, Playtime, watching my favourite show, toys and silence were earned by chores, always, all the time.
What I could never earn were praise or affection...
My mom did many of the named things. Further more, she told me how she stayed slim (anorexic) when she was young, when she had to eat cake. I was maybe 8 or 9 when she told me how it worked.
She is still eating disordered, and she struggles with life.
I know that she didnt meant to do these things.
I have kids now, i raise them with a relaxed attitude towards food.
And i know morhers who don't allow their kids to eat suger (due to health reasons mostly) and i tell them my story, and i have to limit my contact to them, cause it triggers me immensely.
I lived with separated patents, with one week with my mother, one week with my father... My father was relaxed with food, even a foody, he enjoyed it. And I was not limited when i stayed with him. But those extremes didnt make it easier. You can imagine.
My mother had a little glas with almonds in the kitchen. Maybe 10 almonds, or 20. And i got maybe 3 when i was hungry or asled for a snack. I was hungry.
I went into the kitchen at night, but i knew, there was so limited food, in such a precise way arranged, i had to take tiny amounts and make sure she would not notice.
SJP made her career from being a size zero.
4:40 • omg-my mom ALSO had THIS EXACT SAME THING happen to her when she was younger (as well as other occurrences of stigmatising foods that ultimately aided in her developing an eating disorder)….
My mums extreme allergies looked a bit like almond mum. And i had to teach myself to eat some foods when i left home because we didnt have them at home. And yes i definitely ended up wirh disordered eating , especially after i spent my 20s with a guy who shamed my (mostly healthy) weight.
Weirdly shes worse in different was now- her anxiety over food is even more extreme and limited- she wont touch so many things that shes not even allergic to! I grew veggies ( eg tomatoes) in her backyard with no "chemicals".... she still refused and went and bought tomatoes in plastic from the supermarket.... because " organic" and "clean" ..... she wouldnt even go outside barefoot or hang her washing on the line.....
And the only thing i asked for my birthday after moving half way round the planet was to make muffins with my mum like she did when i was a kid..... she did..... but wouldnt eat any with me. I spent 11 months living with her and never once shared a meal- occasionally we ate at the same time, but never the same food. They didnt even have a dining table and never ate together. It was sad
My mom would always be on a new diet and we’d all have to eat diet food and then one day she’d buy cakes and pastries and then get mad when we ate them when that was what we had in the house. It was confusing. We had to count calories and fat grams. I didn’t know until well into adulthood that isn’t something everyone does. Her mom would drop hints to all of her about how her friend uses laxatives, once she told my mom how skinny and great I looked after I’d been sick at about 7 years old. However when someone loses weight or is naturally thin the talk changes to how that person looks sick. There is no way to win.
Luckily with dessert menus rules got set up but i got allowed to est sweets as a meal like with the big apple pancake that barely fit on the restuants big plate
My issue i never got treated like an adult and at 7 we went to a fancy restaurant (my great grandmother set this up) i went because i got promised to order off the adult menu (i wanted a shrimp pasta type of thing but my mom banned me from ordering off the adult menu because i didnt understand it and kept asking questions about it) my stoopid sister instead of trying a plan with me ordered a steak with blood (black and white pudding) and ate 0 of it and one of the reasons i got banned my parents afraid i might do something like that
My dad found out when her leftovers made her sick and somehow backwards praised her and my aunt (moms sister) heard him say that and stuck up for me and said how he would have been so mad at me for that and called out the double standard and reminded him thats why i ended up pretty much only eating bread and a dessert that night (i ate chocolate chip pancake type of thing off the childrens menu when i should have made a scene but my aunt kept telling me dont make a scene) now she realizes i should have and then did what i wanted to and apologize to my great grandmother for it and aunt but explained that i needed to because my larents are moreons
My father didn't care about what he fed my brother and i, as long as it was cheap or free.
Of course it goes without saying, him, his wife and their daughter had all the snacks, sodas, and good food to themselves. They would have McDonald's or some other fast food whilst we had ramen noodles or paper thin pork chops or some expired food that my dad got from a food bank.