HOW I CHANGED MY MINDSET TO LOSE WEIGHT (healthy + sustainable)
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- Опубликовано: 14 авг 2024
- ❤️ We help women move from binge eating, food obsession and yo-yo dieting to a 'normal' and healthy relationship with food. Without relying on rules, restrictions or willpower.
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Please remember that the body a healthy relationship with food and healthy lifestyle will give each of us will be different. And will probably be different at different stages of our lives! And that's a beautiful thing. Through healing your relationship with food, your body can find where it is healthiest ❤
This makes so much sense! When I was involved in doing things I loved I would look up and realize I had t eaten. Then I went full bore into a career that was unfulfilling and stressful and became obese. That made me isolate from people and activities I loved. No one ever told me I have the right to be happy while I’m healing my body. I thought it was all about the food. Thank you.
Thank you for talking about this. I feel like most people who talk about intuitive eating act like it's wrong and almost immoral to want to lose weight and change your body shape, so this is refreshing and helpful to hear!
You are always so well spoken and literally describe everything I’m going through so accurately, it’s like you understand me more than I understand myself!! Thank you for everything!!
I'm really glad. That means so much to know that they help ❤️
REALLY LONG but I just wanted to put my thoughts after listening to your experience and the video.
I just have to be honest here, this felt SO close to home. Just a few days ago, I was beating myself up and thinking “wow, I’m so fat,” “if only my body worked like this girl’s”, “I’ll never be my healthy weight.” And on and on. I looked at myself in the mirror, saw how much thicker my waist looked, and always felt disappointed. I looked at my shadow, saw my body next to my husband’s and thought, “does he even think I’m attractive?” (My husband does find me attractive, I just didn’t want to believe it) I used to not have those thoughts, but I think it was simmering and growing as I started gaining weight back throughout the years after losing 20 pounds from a diet program. I was also raised around being called chubby, or eating too much, and being 20 pounds lighter made me believe that I could maintain the weight and never gain wait again. I went from 120 lbs to 145 lbs in the span of 4 years. I thought “wow, I really let myself go.” “Wow, I can’t believe my body is like this.” And it just got to a point where my body literally felt like I was walking with weights attached to my ankles. My thoughts were so negative and condemning and I never realized how much toll it had on me. It was like even though I had a productive day, good relationship, there was this dark cloud that followed me.
After seeing videos of people talking about having a healthier relationship with food, something started to click.
And I remember being in bed, thinking.
“It’s not my body’s fault, it’s actually mine.”
“I have to stop blaming my body, because it’s the one keeping me alive. My body stores fat because I over eat and it just puts it away like leftovers for a rainy day.”
And then, I just told myself.
“I will treat my body better, because it deserves it.”
That mental shift was so ground breaking to me, that when I went out on a walk, it no longer felt punishing. My legs didn’t feel heavy anymore. I ACTUALLY ENJOYED THE WALKS!! Im learning more about intuitive eating, trying really hard to listen to my body, feeling my hunger and fullness cues, just giving permission for my body to enjoy food and get what it needs.
I used to think I had a pretty good self esteem about my body, but boy was I wrong, and now i realize how blind I was!!! Now, I’m thinking.
“I’ll be patient with myself.”
“I’ll make healthier choices because I want to.”
“Whether I maintain, gain, or lose weight, I will be happy with myself and just do my best.”
This video just really gave me so much encouragement and relatability. SUBSCRIBED!!
The mindset you’re sharing in this video, and comparing it to other harmful mindsets, is sooooo helpful. In my journey towards a healthy relationship with food, I’ll never forget how illuminating you and your channel are. ❤️
"Last supper" eating!!!! Best description. Thank you for this video. I am just starting my journey to improve my relationship with food.
Wow the part where she says to build a fulfilling life resonated with me so much sometimes I’m just board and I wanna eat.
Journaling & meditation has really really helped me work through these emotions and my relationship with food and my body
I'm really happy for you ❤️
This is everything that I needed to hear. It helped me understand what I have been doing wrong for the past 6 years. I am glad I came across this video. I feel empowered with the knowledge of how to achieve my goal, the right way. Thank you!!!
Hi Rachael, I'm so glad I've found your videos! I've been searching online for ages for this kind of content - it's actually super difficult to come across! Your channel is like therapy for me. Everything you say hits the nail on the head! I've been yo-yoing for almost 10 years now, I know deep down what the problem is and that's my relationship with food. I don't binge eat but I overeat and constantly put myself down, gain weight and then get deeper into a mental hole. It's refreshing to finally feel like another diet isn't the answer, it's working on myself. Thank you for creating this channel!
Very well said. I've learned to love myself at my heaviest weight and I finally feel like I'm ready to pay attention to my health, not how I look. My problem now is cooking...I hate it! And I'm terrible at it. Sometimes I just snack for dinner because I don't want to cook.
I dont really like cooking either and am not the best at it. I found a few recipes that are simple, but good and I make enough to have 4 or 5 servings so I don't have to cook often. I make a few a week so I don't have to eat the same thing every day. I often put a few servings in the freezer so none of it goes bad and then thaw them out when I need them.
Loving these videos and looking forward to the next. We definitely cannot hate ourselves into happiness!
I love that! No, we can't ❤️
I can relate to this 100% thank you. Feels so good to not be alone ☺️ it’s a journey for sure
This is actually what matters. It's not about following a type of diet or trying to find perfect solutions. It's about understanding yourself, your own tastes, and creating new healthy habits and lifestyle. This is the only way to go from "I'm eating this because I should" to "I'm eating this because that's what I do"
Finally someone I can relate to. I cannot have junk food in the house, I have to finish it to be at peace. It is insane
I think most of us here can relate to that. I am confident you can have cookies and ice cream in your house in the future without being distracted by it ❤️
Same.. It will be my breakfast lunch and diner. Untill its gone.
You hit the mail on the head. Well done. You put into words what I haven’t been able to 😊
Thank you for your work and the hope and passion those truth you share bring in my mind and my heart. For the first time I feel like I actually can choose a different path to self love.
Rachel....thank you so much for all these videos you do....so unbelievably grateful for your channel ❤️
You are so welcome! I'm so glad that they help ❤️
We have lived the same experience. Thank you for this perspective instead of the constant narrative with dieting more.
Your videos are (in lack of a better terms😉) very helpful, motivating, healing and educational. Thanks for sharing your experience here, it means a lot!
I'm so glad! Thank you ❤
You are absolutely wonderful in your acquired through process wisdom and such a huge gift to the world 💜
Thank you! ❤
Thank you again for the video! Actually this and your another video were only good enough reasons for me to get up from the bed and actually start the day and gave me a real good shift in how I was feeling and motivation to live that day and to try to be kind and caring to myself. Thank you so much, I wish you all the best❤
I love your plant metaphor! 🌱 I really want to “plant” this mindset.
LOVED the plant analogy💕💕💕💕💕💕
Thank you so much for this video. Your energy is so uplifting and profound and it’s is really really special. Thanks for putting in the time and effort that went into this video ❤ You’re really inspiring me on my own journey 🫶🏼
Alena, that is immensely kind. You made my evening. Thank you for taking the time to comment ❤️ I'm delighted it was helpful!!! So nice to have you and your lovely energy here.
Great analogy. Love that!
The I’m choosing part. Ive been doing that when I don’t want to workout. It’s helped tremendously…now maybe to use it with food 🙈
I have 30lbs to lose I’m 5’7 194.4 lbs I started March 4th I’m currently 183 lbs I’m so excited but my only fear is my relationship with food I don’t know how to eat something unhealthy and go on with my day I dwell on it then binge then fast for 24-36 hours then I get back on track but that’s not the relationship I want , I wanna eat what I want enjoy it workout 3x a week and have a balance life around food & health .
I hear you entirely. And this all makes more sense than you think. I know it can feel like you're trapped, forced to fast because you binge else you would gain weight let alone not lose it! I can imagine that while you want to lose weight, that doesn't mean all that much if at the end you are constantly fighting food obsession and cravings and can't go out and socialise easily. If there is one thing I'm confident in it's that you can have a normal and healthy relationship with food and settle at your natural healthy weight. Where that is, we don't know! You may have an intuitive idea. If my answers specifically to this and guidance are what you are looking for then you're welcome to get on the waitlist for my program which will be released soon and will be incredibly comprehensive. It is modelled on the success of my clients and designed for women like you that feel food obsessed and binge eat to achieve a great relationship with food, health and fitness. No diet plans, restriction or willpower necessary. Just a normal and healthy relationship with food. If you think that may be helpful then you're very welcome to sign up to hear more here: rachaelwrigley.com/programme-waitlist-sign-up/
❤️
That what you say about binge eating and bad relationship with food is 100 % me but I can't get rid of it 😢
I’m literally at 1:54 and before even watching all the way through, I just want to thank you so much for an absolutely amazing analogy!! This an ah-ha moment for me and seriously just opened my eyes!!! Now…. On to the rest of the video! Lol
Great plant analogy. 🌿
I love the plant analogy ❤
Last year I tried eating intuetivly for about four months. I did not vorbid myself anything, and tried to stop eating when ful, but this resulted in eating glasses of nutbutters and 3 protein bars in a row. I listened to medidations about accepting my body, but then I decided that it did not work, because I gained weight (although being slightly overweight bevore) and I hated photos of me. So I started counting calories again, being hungry and binge eating at night 😐
Maybe I should focus more on other goals, and stop thinking that I have to loose weight bevore I can do other things. But this is hard.
I struggle because I am a very perfectionist person. If I don’t have a clear goal in mind and a set of rules I have to follow I feel like I have not accomplished anything. Today I started great, but I started thinking that this process will be so much slower than dieting ( however this is not true because all my excess weight its due to binging.) I was thinking that I should start counting calories again, that I need to lose this weight as fast as posible because I start uni in a month and I feel disgusted with myself, I can barely leave my house. How did you not give up in such a long process?? Everytime I am making process I start thinking that it is not worth it, that I can binge right now and feel pleasure 10 minutes, but it will take months, even years to achieve the body I want.
Thats a great question. I've discussed this in other videos. For me personally, how did I not give up? It was completely apparent to me I was never going to stop binge eating if I didn't stop dieting and I just knew I had to go in a different direction. I worked on where my self esteem was placed and proved to myself I could be happy even in a larger body. And I made my life about other things outside of food and weight. Naturally its hard to go down this path of healing when our body is still the most important thing to us. Alwas with clients we move past that as quickly as possible to give space to healing and life and I really recommend giving this the attention it needs as early on as possible. It may seem impossible to care less about weight, yet it is more than possible. And the last major thing that helped was trust that the process would work. This was easier for me perhaps because I was training in this precise area and had all of the knowledge and understanding that it not only would work but how to do it. Nevertheless, either working with someone to speed up the process in this way or doing your own research on the process itself for reassurance can be the difference between following through and not.
Bear in mind that it took me years because I was figuring it all out for myself. It doesn't have to be that way! Some clients only stay with me for 6 weeks and the most I've ever had was 4 months. Its possible to start seeing the results you want in a shorter amount of time than you may think. I hope this helps.
The thing is after that period in where you let yourself eat what you want etc what if you don’t get that realization? I am struggling, I’ve struggled my entire life with “happiness” and I just don’t see a light anymore
Talk to your doctor. See if you can get connected with a psychologist/therapist to talk out how you feel and see if you can get to the root of your feelings. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) really helped me. I am still working on things but am in a better spot than before.
Please can you write a book?!
So interesting, I used to have a really bad relationship with food where I successfully restricted myself for over a year not eating any oils or overt fats. My hormones were all over the place, my skin was breaking out, I was working out a lot as well and I got really skinny but at the expense of my health. I am so far from that now I thought I had a really healthy relationship with food. But it’s kind of gone the other way, I have been getting 4-5 takeaways a week, eating way less veggies than I would want, and then I would do what you say feel really guilty and ashamed and make a plan to eat healthy and lose weight etc. I have very recently given myself permission to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, with no restriction, guilt or shame. I am now only having one takeaway a week, eating way more veggies, and if I do have a less nutritious meal I don’t then try to compensate with the next one, I just feel good that I indulged. It’s honestly a game changer
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so happy for you. Congratulations 🎉❤️
@@RachaelWrigley thank you! Now I’m struggling to accept the weight I’ve gained and my family’s comments on what I eat! But I am trying to just focus on food freedom ☺️
How my partner can help and support me to achieve what you did? What his approach should be?
du hast mich geandert
Can you do work on the mindset without eating the fear foods? Thanks for your videos. They are comforting and make me feel less alone.
Hi, Tanya. May I ask if you mean without ever eating fear foods or BEFORE eating fear foods? There is a significant difference there.
@@RachaelWrigley Without ever eating them. So, telling yourself you can but not actually doing so.
@@tanyamarie149 I would argue no. I touched on this in the middle of the video. This can be the difference between saying we have a choice to try and get ourselves to be okay with not eating these foods and ACTUALLY having a choice. We can't fool our own selves unfortunately. We always know if we're being genuine or not. And in my experience allowing ourselves to eat all foods is important for removing a scarcity or deprivation mindset which can fuel food obsession. If you were a client I would explore more with you the fear of these foods and what unhelpful and perhaps inaccurate beliefs you have about them and your relationship with them. Rather than finding a way to feel good about restriction. I'm very empathetic to your question and why you ask. That is my honest response.
I wish I could find a therapist like you here in Germany ❤
I work with women all over the world 🌎❤️
@@RachaelWrigley I dont think my english is good enough to express myself correctly 😉
Me 5 minutes into the video with a jar of Nutella and a spoon sitting in front of me 👁👄👁
You know, it's always Nutella! Or peanut butter. Or both! I don't know what it is about those specifically. 😅
Great!
What do you do if you do most of your binge eating at your office job 9-5, a job you don’t particularly like but you can’t quit.
I would address the underlying causes of the urge to binge in the first place. If you need additional help with this I'll be bringing out a training on this soon. If you're interested you'll need to be on my email list ❤️
Trying to stay focused on food freedom and the scales are a massive trigger for me. Just wondered do you weigh yourself?
That's a great question. I actually do now weigh myself every now and then. To me now it is nothing more than an objective measure. My weight does stay the same now, however if it shifted largely I would want to know so I could consider why. I don't monitor my food in any way now so if my weight started shifting drastically in one direction or the other it would prompt me to consider why and if I was doing something unbalanced with my eating. Naturally I expect my weight to change throughout my life in different life stages so I always come back to complete body acceptance so long as I feel my relationship with food is balanced and I'm eating in a way that works for me.
I stopped weighing myself for a long time which was really helpful for gaining trust in my body and moving away from tight control which was so important for getting where I am today. With clients, wether we weigh or don't weigh depends. Sometimes it is a useful tool and sometimes an unhelpful one.This really needs to be assessed on a case by case basis. Taking a longer term picture about health and our weight and relationship with food is important in my experience, rather than focusing on one day of eating or one weight on one day. When we're dieting we can be in a very 'direct cause and effect' mindset, observing how one day or one week of eating impacts our weight. The body works in a more long term way than that, and the creation of a healthy relationship with food I typically, on average, see work best when the scale is left alone for a while until balance and trust has been created. Then the scale often becomes a more neutral tool, rather than something that can trigger unhelpful habits or thoughts.
At the end of the day, if we focus on the mindset and behaviour change and over time create a balanced healthy relationship with food, we can be sure that that will lead us to where our body feels most comfortable, weight wise. We can overcomplicate it, but really the scale is almost a redundant tool if what we're aiming for is health and a healthy relationship with food.
At the end of the day I see it as control vs trust and rules vs mindset and behaviour change. It's challenging to let go of, I understand. I also see clients shoot forward in their balance and mental freedom once the scales are put away.
@@RachaelWrigley thank you for taking the time to give me such a detailed answer.😘 I'm going to leave the scales for a while and just focus on this phase of my journey.
@@clareosborn7731 youre more than welcome, Clare. Sending lots of support. Happy healing!