The good news has once again come to you today. You can inherit the kingdom of God even if you are a sinner.. after all we are all sinners in God's standards of justice and holiness (he says that if a man looks at a woman with lust he has already committed adulterly with her in his heart NO MAN IS THAT PURE😅).....All you have to do is to honestly humbly pray repent/turn away from sins (read the10 commandments) and trust that Jesus for his love❤ for you he left his throne in heaven and came to the world he was humbled humiliated betrayed beaten and killed for your sake to pay the fine of your sins and mine so that we won't spend our eternity in hell but with him in heaven...this might be the last time you read the gospel...Look around🔥 be smart..the end is nigh🔥🔥 ..He is coming back soooon not as the sacrificed lamb of God🐑..but as King of Kings🤴 the judge of the whole world..Your soul is on the line😭. Eternity is a long time.
Don't let this distract you from the fact that I am the ugliest RUclipsr worldwide. I also smell like 100 de*d orangutans and have two hot hot hot girlfriends as you can see on my highly stimulating channel. Greetings, dear nisee
I want her to relate way more of what her therapist says. Mine hasn't said anything this usefull in almost year. (Not that she used to be more usefull, I just have her since close to a year.)
Honestly, only thing that Anna would be missing a bomb vid on is on a critique on capitalism and its faults on mental health. What I mean is hell yeah, communism! Lmao
"Where are we headed?" Your relationship is not a drifting ship, you can actually steer it. Don't give up control (or your share of it) in favour of lying back and hoping for the best.
You can steer it, but you wouldn’t want to take it somewhere that the other person doesnt want to go. I get what you mean, the question can be framed differently, but it’s still an important question
@@LocoForChoco123 Absolutely, half the problems are about who's steering and the rest are about the direction. But it's important to have both people in the decisions.
I, too, thought it a passive aggressive question, "Where are WE headed?" On a great date, the last thing I'm thinking about is the future. Me feeling safe about telling the other person how I feel is not the same as asking the other person to define the relationship. One person can't define a relationship.
Anna seems like she is in pain :( I just want all the good things in the world to happen to her because she deserves it and she’s a wonderful person ❤️
So, I am a 23-year-old and I never imagined that I would really be able to find a guy who is emotionally available, is honest to me, and also respects and loves me a lot. I grew up in this really conservative Asian household around me(including my own home) and I never have been able to make a strong emotional connection to anyone. But I met this guy about a year ago and I have never been so grateful. He is so awesome. He is patient, emotionally available and when I ask about our future He replies to me by saying that "I want to marry you" and is totally supportive about my school and waits for me patiently. But the problem is I feel like I don't deserve it and I feel like he should be with someone much better than me. I do really love him but what is all this anxiety in me. Ughhhh my childhood is still ruining me.
You deserve all the happiness you wish for and you deserve to enjoy it. You are also not responsible for your partners choice to be with you, he is allowed to chose you and while you could of course decline his wish to be with you, you have no say in whether or not that is his wish.
Hey, just wanted to say I also grew up in a really conservative Asian household. I'm 21 and haven't experienced that kind of connection yet, but your comment gives me hope that I might find that someday! I totally get your feeling of not deserving it or not feeling good enough, but I hope you are able to squash that self-doubt and see that you DO deserve it, even if you grew up in a household that made you believe you don't.
Regardless of if you deserve it or not (which you do) you should hold on to what you have right now because everyone deserves some sort of strong emotional connection to someone. Humans are social beings after all, it’s in our nature.
Even after finding the courage to be vulnerable, my problem becomes how to accept, move on, and let go of these “could-have-been” relationships. Goals for 2021
Every time I've been scared to ask, it's because deep down I already knew. I just didn't really want them to confirm it. Asking means you can't kid yourself any more 💜
Unfortunately just had to have this conversation with a partner last night, and didn’t get the answer I wanted to hear either. But at least we don’t have to waste time on people who don’t deserve it in 2021 🤷🏻♂️ Happy New Year, Anna 🎊 Bright things ahead, baby girl!
@@camix3229 If you don’t know someone else’s situation, you shouldn’t be commenting on it. Not to mention Anna said the same thing? Call me rude or selfish, but one thing I’m not is apologizing for my feelings in 2021. Have a great year and leave this kind of energy in 2020, friend ☺️
don't want to jump to conclusions but I'm assuming that there's a reason you believe they don't deserve a relationship with you. It could be they just wanted to be friends, but idk your situation nor Anna's.
@@theillennials5263 Maybe, @Camix is reacting to the idea that someone no longer 'deserves' time or emotional consideration. Value judgements aren't necessary, if like you said you do not know someone else's situation. In many cases people are simply unable to provide what others are seeking from the relationship and that doesn't make anyone a 'bad' person. It does mean it is time to move on. The healthy part is being able to treat others as well as yourself properly - they shouldn't be super mutually exclusive. So, in conclusion, you are both right, and we should all just get along. *Boom* I fixed the internet *and* you two are going to get married and this will be *your* meet-cute. You are welcome.
@@RealNigga0190 it’s more of a time and energy situation. Unfortunately, the aforementioned partner only wanted to hang out when it was convenient for them. Whenever I needed to express something or wanted to see them, they were unavailable, despite me always making myself available for them. It felt like a one sided relationship and I’m searching for something a little more accommodating to both parties. I still want what’s best for them, but I have to be aware of what’s best for me too.
@@Sarafara7 ikr maybe everyone should ask this question early ahead before fully comitting in a relationship to make sure both sides are on the same page.
Biggest advice my parents gave us, communication is the key to a long marriage, and yes that also means being able to take critique even on sexual aspects
"Eventually I want to do X. It is nice thinking you would be a part of that, but I understand everything is time." Identify individual goals before bringing another into your life.
I think, if a person makes you afraid of asking "where this is going" or what they feel, you deep down already know the answer. In my experience, you don't have to ask these questions to people, who are willing to commit and are open for love. They will invest just as much as you do and this anxiety of "will they or will they not" only develops in contact with people who "will not".
I don't like this line of reasoning. Perhaps the other person is oblivious to your anxiety and thinks everything is going well and is debating when would be a good time to ask "The Question" himself.
"I was born in 1989, the year of the snake" - as someone born in 1989, I had no idea it was the year of the snake. Hoping 2021 brings you better days and better relationships, Anna!
What's awesome is that when you didn't get the answer you liked, you loved yourself enough to not stick around! Some people find that keeping those boundaries are super hard.
Imagine dating Anna Akana and constantly being at risk of having awkward parts of your relationship put on blast. It's not like Anna is rude, but it's still a level of openness that many of us aren't used to.
Dating = intermittent screwing.... Women choose who they want to screw and Men choose who they want to marry .... may as well wait it out ladies if you want to avoid ❤️damage. Work on personal solvency and personal responsibility... stay looking gorgeous and put yourself in the right places at the right time.
The best thing is to try and get people to be friends. Then relationships can blossom but it definitely takes really open and honest communication. Just take away the pressure before you go for the relationship
The good news has once again come to you today. You can inherit the kingdom of God even if you are a sinner.. after all we are all sinners in God's standards of justice and holiness (he says that if a man looks at a woman with lust he has already committed adulterly with her in his heart NO MAN IS THAT PURE😅).....All you have to do is to honestly humbly pray repent/turn away from sins (read the10 commandments) and trust that Jesus for his love❤ for you he left his throne in heaven and came to the world he was humbled humiliated betrayed beaten and killed for your sake to pay the fine of your sins and mine so that we won't spend our eternity in hell but with him in heaven...this might be the last time you read the gospel...Look around🔥 be smart..the end is nigh🔥🔥 ..He is coming back soooon not as the sacrificed lamb of God🐑..but as King of Kings🤴 the judge of the whole world..Your soul is on the line😭. Eternity is a long time.
I did this recently and didn't get the answer I wanted. "It's getting information you need to get the committed relationship you're looking for" really hit home. Wow. Makes me feel less vulnerable.
Can I just say 1. OMG THANK YOU for making these videos, they are quite literally therapeutic and make me feel like I'm not as crazy as I think I am and 2. Your therapist sounds like the Gandalf to my Frodo.
I went through something very similar in the beginning of quarantine, it was DEVASTATING! But healing the heartbreak, and your anxious attachment so you can finally energetically attract the person who deserves you is possible 💛💛💛
Guys it's the end of 2020...I wanna congratulate every1 and wish you happiness and lots of funny...you deserve EVERYTHING ❤️❤️and Ty Ana for being with me this year I became so confident because of you
Just mustered up doing this the day after Christmas. Right here with you sis, it's a good thing when we find the strength to choose ourselves instead of betraying our needs.
i love the fact that we share the same birthday and we're both leo, also year of the snake and i relate almost everything about her she's like my older sister who gives me advices online, i love anna!!
I actually like to ask super direct questions like this upfront. "What are you looking for?" and "how would you define us" etc are super important questions because oftentimes people aren't clear unless you bring it up. It's better in the long run so you won't waste time and you have clarity from the beginning.
Heyyyy.. i'm also an avoidance. I had this difficult question yesterday and I'm happy that I can finally say it out loud. Now I'm dealing with the heartbreak and watching your videos heals me ❤️ Love yaa
Ah, the history in stand-up makes a lot of sense since i've seen a good couple handful of your vids. There is something very natural and comforting about your delivery and presence with these concerned insights. Congratulations on it all and having worked on it in such ways while having seemingly superb taste throughout. Dang! It's really just so good!
You realise she is a person who literaly NEED therapy right? And she is getting it. But ok, here is a fast advice - look into yourself, and your dating choices so far. Crushes also count. Ask yourself what all the men that you want have in common? Are those men fit to be in a kind of a relationship you want? What are the type of men who ARE fit to be in a such relationship? And lastly - stop looking for men who you find attractive, and start looking for men who you will have attractive relationship with.
Humans are too complicated. Simplify yourself, your life, and your communication, stop overthinking - openly honestly talk - and there won't be issues or disappointments.
I completely understand the issues around this question. So much so that generally I don't even consider it. I'm so happy for you asking it. Maybe I'll try it too
Recently I did this, unfortunately over text. Word to the wise: do it in person, as nerve wracking as it will be you'll at least get an immediate response so you aren't giving your anxiety hours to run wild before you finally give up on him ever responding and accept that he doesn't see it going anywhere. K, that got a little specific but seriously, ask in person
Honestly, that is something you need to talk about in the beginning of the relationship. Like either first date chit chat or if you meet online ask before you meet in person. When you ask do not grill the prospective partner for their answers but ask conversationally.
I just wanna see Anna in a happy healthy relationship, she's such an amazing person. Yo Ana if by the time I hit 30 you're not married, hit me up gurl XD
This year I was both the one that RAN away and the one that asked away and got the answer I didn’t want. Instant karma is instant justice, so I’m grateful because I think the person from whom I ran found someone emotionally available and he’s happy. I hope everyone finds a safeplace, you deserve it! Don’t lose the hope if someone doesn’t want to stay in your life and don’t punish yourself if you can’t stay in someone’s life. 💕
So many of your videos I find relatable. You're one of the few youtubers I regularly watch because I feel like you are yourself through your videos. It's either Anna or tech videos about the new GTX 4090 with 16~ cuda cores. I really like how you're funny but you make points about life and you're honest with your difficulties. You're a talented all-around awesome woman. I wish you knew me to know how conservative I am with my compliments.
I would totally dig being your friend. You seem fun, not afraid to put it all out there and smile in the face of adversity. Those who can call you friend have a true treasure.
I hope you do find what you need in the future! But, fear justified or not, at least you won't spend the next four years of your life in a mockery of the relationship you actually want just to have it end in even more misery due to prolonged waste of your investments! You got out of the relationship dumpster BEFORE it was on fire.
Omg this literally happened to me on New Years! I was dating a guy for a while and it was going great. We had amazing compatibility, were consistent, had great conversations, etc so naturally I thought that this could go somewhere. But alas, when I asked him “where do we stand?” He had a full on meltdown saying he doesn’t know, accusing me of so many things and pretty much blaming me for “ruining a good thing”. I’m glad that ended there. Good riddance ✌🏻
I love you! Thank you for this. Two years ago, it took me a really long time to ask the question and I got heartbroken. Now, I straight up just tell people where my interest is (or isn't) and I've seen that my honesty has helped me develop healthier dating patterns overall. It's not just about asking, but being candid about what our needs are. Sometimes, we get the answer we want, and sometimes we don't, but it's so much better to know (even at the risk of coming across as a vulnerable idiot).
I have done sooooo much research on dating. Sounds like you have been practicing some good dating advice. I love what the millionaire matchmaker says- “No sex until love.” That way we don’t get attached to someone who doesn’t meet our standards. I also love what Matthew Hussey advises: to reward good behavior with phrases like “I think it’s sexy when a man/woman cooks/communicates/etc.” One last nugget of dating gold is the Love Factually book. So much learned!!! ❤️ I know you will find everything you’re looking for because you’re becoming self aware and curious, and that’s really all it takes.
I will defend someone being bullied by a giant without hesitation, stand up for my rights under full fire and use every ounce of my strength to lift something 10x my size out of the car; but dear God, please do not get me romantically involved with someone I have to wonder "What are we?" with. My brain can't handle it either lol
Can’t believe I’ve been watching you since I was 12... I’m now 20 years old and your videos have only gotten better ever since. I love the lessons you makes videos about.
I knew something was immediately wrong, I could see in Anna’s eyes that she was sad... which contrasts so powerfully from her normal bubbly self. Have a hard time understanding how dude wouldn’t want to lock it down and take her to the courthouse... unless maybe he felt like he didn’t deserve her, that’s the only way that makes any sense to me. 🤷🏾♂️😂
She's decent looking and she has money, but that's really where the good points end. She's got issues and that might be why she struggles to have a relationship last longer than 3 months. I'll wish her luck though.
@@paulidson1483 well to me she seems bubbly, self reflective, brave, ambitious, strong, funny and extremely smart and beautiful but thats my opinion, maybe thats why we shouldn't punch someone elses personality to the ground if we oly see them for a few scripted minutes per week ;)
@@sinis5731 If her personality was that great then she wouldn't be struggling to have a relationship last longer than 3 months. I'm not trying to put her down, I'm just pointing out the obvious, there's a problem somewhere.
Off topic -- I just wanted to say that I LOVE that Ana is including friends / roommates in her videos. Of course I love her playing multiple characters, and I love that she's sharing her creative world with others. Wholesome 2020 growth ☺️
The last "situationship" I had when I brought up that question after 3 months of dating, he says "let's just see where it goes". That was heartbreaking and my cue to say goodbye before I got even more hurt and rejected
When your relationship is onesided so you gather the courage to ask this terifying question and you get the answer that he wants you around as one of his friends with benefits... 💔 I still love him and want what's best for him and it pains me to see him use this kind of interactions because of the emotional trauma he's been through. 😢
@@SamElle no dates! We met online, long distance. But I was clear that I was looking for something serious and he agreed. We were talking all the time these 2 months...
Oh my God, this came at exactly the right time. I have anxious attachment and I started talikng to a guy. At some point I was so stressed out and my anxiety was so high because I didn't know if he likes me or he sees me just a friend. I talked with my therapist and she said the exact same thing as you, Anna.. She told me to ask him "What are we?". Needless to say I was freaked out by the question. But she also told me this is what someone with secure attachment would do, so I started to think about doing it. He distanced from me, and we don't talk as much, but I will probably still ask him what's going on between us. Thank you for posting this and giving me the boost I needed.
When you find the person that answers that question in the way that leads to what you want, you should then realize every answer was a good answer because you got the info you needed to hear from each person.
The question "Where are we going?" somehow triggers my inner jukebox: "We're going nowhere. We live our lives like we're ready to die! We're going nowhere." This is Seth the turtle (Thanks BMTH)
I absolutely love your background!! So eye-catching!! I think that every time I see you in that room and just had to mention it. (Love your content, too, of course!!! Keep being your amazing self!)
Boy oh boy did I do the question, and the answer I got was : we are in an open relationship And that's where I went in a downdwards spiral for about a year, but I am better now
I asked the question last night. We're just friends, but that's better than never seeing one another. Now I can focus on looking for someone else, while having someone awesome to support me when things get tough.
i don't know whether you will this message from me or not. but your existence and your contents helps me a lot to deal with my life suffering, your life helps thousand people and i hope you have always that room of strength to keep knowing your value in whatever conditions you are in. you deserve to be treated by love, anna (and team). and i love you!
I feel like asking this question too early in the dating process might give you an answer you don't want but only because the person doesn't know you well enough and just might not want to give you a commitment promise as of yet, even if they were interested in a committed relationship... but once they got to know you more they would feel more comfortable being honest about their desires and not just say a "bad answer" to seem casual
I don't agree. You are just asking where things are headed, not asking for a commitment right away. If you scare someone off with this, they were immature. Emotionally mature ppl can just say they don't know yet but want to see what happens and be clear about expectations
+nosoynadaoriginal The problem with giving that type of answer is that it could still backfire and be interpreted as an emotionally immature response. When a man or woman asks that kind of question to a person they are currently seeing, they often expect a more definitive answer. Saying “I don’t know” could be interpreted as a person being immature and not knowing enough about themselves. It could also be seen as leading someone on to say “I don’t know” and continuing to date and see that person. I’m don’t know could also just be a subtle or underhanded way of saying “no, I don’t want a committed relationship but I’ll keep dating and being physically intimate with you until I get bored or until one of us cheats”. Some people don’t like to be strung along like that.
@@razorwindrazor3981 i didn't say "idk" and that's it. I said be clear about expectations as well. Also, you ask a question, is your responsability of accepting the answer or leaving. You can't expect ppl to respond however you want them to, that's maturity on your part as well
+nosoynadaoriginal Even if a person clarifies their answer after saying I don’t know, the other person could still have lingering suspicions and doubts about why the person gave that answer in the first place. Being clear about expectations is a good thing but it doesn’t always end well or result in a mutual understanding. Sure, you can’t expect to get the answer you want all the time, but sometimes it’s not as cut and dry as you’re making it out to be.
“That’s what my therapist says and I’ll try to believe it.” I felt that
There's no reply?!
The good news has once again come to you today. You can inherit the kingdom of God even if you are a sinner.. after all we are all sinners in God's standards of justice and holiness (he says that if a man looks at a woman with lust he has already committed adulterly with her in his heart NO MAN IS THAT PURE😅).....All you have to do is to honestly humbly pray repent/turn away from sins (read the10 commandments) and trust that Jesus for his love❤ for you he left his throne in heaven and came to the world he was humbled humiliated betrayed beaten and killed for your sake to pay the fine of your sins and mine so that we won't spend our eternity in hell but with him in heaven...this might be the last time you read the gospel...Look around🔥 be smart..the end is nigh🔥🔥 ..He is coming back soooon not as the sacrificed lamb of God🐑..but as King of Kings🤴 the judge of the whole world..Your soul is on the line😭. Eternity is a long time.
@@keyboardevangelist yeah
Therapists should show you how to make your own conclusions
Emotional maturity at its best. Congrats, you did the right thing.
Don't let this distract you from the fact that I am the ugliest RUclipsr worldwide. I also smell like 100 de*d orangutans and have two hot hot hot girlfriends as you can see on my highly stimulating channel. Greetings, dear nisee
@@AxxLAfriku who cares
Anna already talked about emotional maturity?
💖💖💗
Anna’s therapist is *OUR* therapist
Communism, *BABYYYY*
When's our next session😌💅
Lool
Oh yes communism!
I want her to relate way more of what her therapist says. Mine hasn't said anything this usefull in almost year. (Not that she used to be more usefull, I just have her since close to a year.)
Honestly, only thing that Anna would be missing a bomb vid on is on a critique on capitalism and its faults on mental health.
What I mean is hell yeah, communism! Lmao
Didn’t think I’d see a woman birth a cat today but here I am
Makes you wonder who the dad is
Cat in the hat is the dad
Its 2020. Are you surprised at this point? ;)
Neither did I to see it tomorow
Happy 2021
"What is wrong with you? Do you want me to die" was such a relatable way to answer to that
(Happy new year everyone!)
Happy new year!
Happy new year to you too 🎉
not yet. 12/31/2020 7pm
@@whitykitty2651 In New Zealand it is, sorry about that XD
Happy new year!! :D
If they can't or won't answer this question, then they just answered the question.
🥺
@BRYAN The tea leaves say “love you first”
also, fun fact: “thé” is tea in French
Yup...recent guy refused to answer. He stonewalled like crazy. I was so upset because I wanted the answer to be what I wanna hear. What a bummer
YUP SO TRUE!!!!!!
Aaaand the winner for the worst answer iiiiis:
bdum ts....
I DON'T KNOOOOOW!
"Where are we headed?" Your relationship is not a drifting ship, you can actually steer it. Don't give up control (or your share of it) in favour of lying back and hoping for the best.
You can steer it, but you wouldn’t want to take it somewhere that the other person doesnt want to go. I get what you mean, the question can be framed differently, but it’s still an important question
@@LocoForChoco123 Absolutely, half the problems are about who's steering and the rest are about the direction. But it's important to have both people in the decisions.
I, too, thought it a passive aggressive question, "Where are WE headed?" On a great date, the last thing I'm thinking about is the future. Me feeling safe about telling the other person how I feel is not the same as asking the other person to define the relationship. One person can't define a relationship.
What are you looking for or hoping for here?
That would be a much better question.
agreee
Anna seems like she is in pain :( I just want all the good things in the world to happen to her because she deserves it and she’s a wonderful person ❤️
I know, I just want to give her a big hug and tell her everything will be ok.
@malice catastrophe then stop watching her, ain’t no one forcing you
Me too I want the best for her💕❤️
Yes ❤️❤️❤️
@malice catastrophe then what are you're doing here, honey?
So, I am a 23-year-old and I never imagined that I would really be able to find a guy who is emotionally available, is honest to me, and also respects and loves me a lot. I grew up in this really conservative Asian household around me(including my own home) and I never have been able to make a strong emotional connection to anyone. But I met this guy about a year ago and I have never been so grateful. He is so awesome. He is patient, emotionally available and when I ask about our future He replies to me by saying that "I want to marry you" and is totally supportive about my school and waits for me patiently. But the problem is I feel like I don't deserve it and I feel like he should be with someone much better than me. I do really love him but what is all this anxiety in me. Ughhhh my childhood is still ruining me.
You deserve all the happiness you wish for and you deserve to enjoy it. You are also not responsible for your partners choice to be with you, he is allowed to chose you and while you could of course decline his wish to be with you, you have no say in whether or not that is his wish.
i’m in the exact same boat girl
Don’t self sabotage yourself giiirl, you two sound perfect for each other ! ☺️
Hey, just wanted to say I also grew up in a really conservative Asian household. I'm 21 and haven't experienced that kind of connection yet, but your comment gives me hope that I might find that someday! I totally get your feeling of not deserving it or not feeling good enough, but I hope you are able to squash that self-doubt and see that you DO deserve it, even if you grew up in a household that made you believe you don't.
Regardless of if you deserve it or not (which you do) you should hold on to what you have right now because everyone deserves some sort of strong emotional connection to someone. Humans are social beings after all, it’s in our nature.
Even after finding the courage to be vulnerable, my problem becomes how to accept, move on, and let go of these “could-have-been” relationships. Goals for 2021
Every time I've been scared to ask, it's because deep down I already knew. I just didn't really want them to confirm it. Asking means you can't kid yourself any more 💜
Yes 100 100
Right on sistah
Yes exactly!
that comment is top koala-tea.
I love how often anna uses her therapist for content lol
anna has become my therapist tbh
@@SamElle Vicarious therapy
It's our therapist now...
might as well since she's paying for it lol
that's honestly like THE scariest thing I can imagine asking someone and I think you deserve a really big cake for managing to do so
Anyone else want to see Anna's old stand up footage?
Me!!
she performed in my state when I was in college
ruclips.net/video/dQw4w9WgXcQ/видео.html
@@absolutelynot524 oh you...
@@absolutelynot524 👁👄👁
@@absolutelynot524 oh my god, she's so good!!!!! I wish i was there in person!!!
Unfortunately just had to have this conversation with a partner last night, and didn’t get the answer I wanted to hear either. But at least we don’t have to waste time on people who don’t deserve it in 2021 🤷🏻♂️ Happy New Year, Anna 🎊 Bright things ahead, baby girl!
Wow that’s such a jump might’ve they want to be friends with you or something it’s kind of rude to be like that to a person kind of selfish
@@camix3229 If you don’t know someone else’s situation, you shouldn’t be commenting on it. Not to mention Anna said the same thing? Call me rude or selfish, but one thing I’m not is apologizing for my feelings in 2021. Have a great year and leave this kind of energy in 2020, friend ☺️
don't want to jump to conclusions but I'm assuming that there's a reason you believe they don't deserve a relationship with you. It could be they just wanted to be friends, but idk your situation nor Anna's.
@@theillennials5263 Maybe, @Camix is reacting to the idea that someone no longer 'deserves' time or emotional consideration. Value judgements aren't necessary, if like you said you do not know someone else's situation. In many cases people are simply unable to provide what others are seeking from the relationship and that doesn't make anyone a 'bad' person. It does mean it is time to move on. The healthy part is being able to treat others as well as yourself properly - they shouldn't be super mutually exclusive. So, in conclusion, you are both right, and we should all just get along.
*Boom* I fixed the internet *and* you two are going to get married and this will be *your* meet-cute. You are welcome.
@@RealNigga0190 it’s more of a time and energy situation. Unfortunately, the aforementioned partner only wanted to hang out when it was convenient for them. Whenever I needed to express something or wanted to see them, they were unavailable, despite me always making myself available for them. It felt like a one sided relationship and I’m searching for something a little more accommodating to both parties. I still want what’s best for them, but I have to be aware of what’s best for me too.
Yes, open communication is crucial at all levels of dating 👏🏽 let’s normalize this.
gl with that movement
@@yoooyoyooo I mean, the way to make it happen is by you normalizing it not by responding the way you did. Lmao
@@Sarafara7 ikr maybe everyone should ask this question early ahead before fully comitting in a relationship to make sure both sides are on the same page.
I’m so down!! I’m tired of having to decode men’s behaviors, like pls just be open and honest
Biggest advice my parents gave us, communication is the key to a long marriage, and yes that also means being able to take critique even on sexual aspects
"Eventually I want to do X. It is nice thinking you would be a part of that, but I understand everything is time."
Identify individual goals before bringing another into your life.
I think, if a person makes you afraid of asking "where this is going" or what they feel, you deep down already know the answer. In my experience, you don't have to ask these questions to people, who are willing to commit and are open for love. They will invest just as much as you do and this anxiety of "will they or will they not" only develops in contact with people who "will not".
Thank you x
I don't like this line of reasoning. Perhaps the other person is oblivious to your anxiety and thinks everything is going well and is debating when would be a good time to ask "The Question" himself.
"I was born in 1989, the year of the snake" - as someone born in 1989, I had no idea it was the year of the snake. Hoping 2021 brings you better days and better relationships, Anna!
Chinese zodiac my friend
Taylor Swift??✨
2001 snakes nod in approval
@@deutschej that's literally what I thought!
What's awesome is that when you didn't get the answer you liked, you loved yourself enough to not stick around! Some people find that keeping those boundaries are super hard.
Imagine dating Anna Akana and constantly being at risk of having awkward parts of your relationship put on blast. It's not like Anna is rude, but it's still a level of openness that many of us aren't used to.
Not asking is only delaying the inevitable. Don't waste your time when someone out there is looking for someone like you.
The whole dating scene pushed me to reconsider the arranged marriage thing. At least you don't have to ask where it's going.
same
Dating = intermittent screwing.... Women choose who they want to screw and Men choose who they want to marry .... may as well wait it out ladies if you want to avoid ❤️damage. Work on personal solvency and personal responsibility... stay looking gorgeous and put yourself in the right places at the right time.
@@lisaariottiart ... Well said.
Ha ha love it 😁 right on sistah 🤗
@@lisaariottiart easier said then done.
everytime i am amazed by the quality of these videos
Courage and bravery? I'm a socially anxious hufflepuff, sorry
HAHAHAHA im a ravenclaw!!
hufflepuffs stand up against injustice, they were the second biggest group to fight in the final war after gryffindor !
a too lazy to be courageous hufflepuff 😌
Knowing where something is headed, knowing what's on the table and knowing how someone feels.
The best thing is to try and get people to be friends. Then relationships can blossom but it definitely takes really open and honest communication. Just take away the pressure before you go for the relationship
Yes! I feel that relationship is just the greatest level of friendship. At least for me... I wonder what relationship does mean for other people?
Obi Wan to the storm trooper was a knee slapper *oh lordy -tears of laughter !! All your years as a comedian paid off on that one !!
Congress THE BRAVE looks like a pillow in the background lmao
OMGGG BRUH I JUST REALISED THAT LMAOOOOOO
I legit thought it was a pillow and then I read your comment, went back to look and didn't believe you until that pillow started breathing. 😂
@@meowkins MyPillow 2021
The good news has once again come to you today. You can inherit the kingdom of God even if you are a sinner.. after all we are all sinners in God's standards of justice and holiness (he says that if a man looks at a woman with lust he has already committed adulterly with her in his heart NO MAN IS THAT PURE😅).....All you have to do is to honestly humbly pray repent/turn away from sins (read the10 commandments) and trust that Jesus for his love❤ for you he left his throne in heaven and came to the world he was humbled humiliated betrayed beaten and killed for your sake to pay the fine of your sins and mine so that we won't spend our eternity in hell but with him in heaven...this might be the last time you read the gospel...Look around🔥 be smart..the end is nigh🔥🔥 ..He is coming back soooon not as the sacrificed lamb of God🐑..but as King of Kings🤴 the judge of the whole world..Your soul is on the line😭. Eternity is a long time.
LOL, my first thought was that that was him, after that i thought it was a pillow and now i see this hahahaha
I did this recently and didn't get the answer I wanted. "It's getting information you need to get the committed relationship you're looking for" really hit home. Wow. Makes me feel less vulnerable.
“What are we?” Instantly made my heart skip a beat.
Can I just say 1. OMG THANK YOU for making these videos, they are quite literally therapeutic and make me feel like I'm not as crazy as I think I am and 2. Your therapist sounds like the Gandalf to my Frodo.
I'm always direkt when it comes to guys. Like hey, what are you looking for? Because our time is valuable!😍💁🏼♀️
same! preach it
I went through something very similar in the beginning of quarantine, it was DEVASTATING!
But healing the heartbreak, and your anxious attachment so you can finally energetically attract the person who deserves you is possible 💛💛💛
Guys it's the end of 2020...I wanna congratulate every1 and wish you happiness and lots of funny...you deserve EVERYTHING ❤️❤️and Ty Ana for being with me this year I became so confident because of you
"I didnt think that joke would Bomb " I laughed so hard i almost peed !
anna makes 5 minutes so short i can't get enough
Just mustered up doing this the day after Christmas. Right here with you sis, it's a good thing when we find the strength to choose ourselves instead of betraying our needs.
i love the fact that we share the same birthday and we're both leo, also year of the snake and i relate almost everything about her she's like my older sister who gives me advices online, i love anna!!
Awww, that was cute. Have a great year!
@@oponomo same to you!
I actually like to ask super direct questions like this upfront. "What are you looking for?" and "how would you define us" etc are super important questions because oftentimes people aren't clear unless you bring it up. It's better in the long run so you won't waste time and you have clarity from the beginning.
"even though we all died in march 2020" NICE ONE
We love your therapist-advice segments. So fun and thoughtful.
Awaiting the fateful day that Anna releases a podcast, would be full of profound gems of advice that you'd normally only get in therapy :)
I truly love that Ana gives us great life advice while also taking us on these small journey's through her life. You go dude.
Heyyyy.. i'm also an avoidance. I had this difficult question yesterday and I'm happy that I can finally say it out loud. Now I'm dealing with the heartbreak and watching your videos heals me ❤️ Love yaa
Ah, the history in stand-up makes a lot of sense since i've seen a good couple handful of your vids.
There is something very natural and comforting about your delivery and presence with these concerned insights.
Congratulations on it all and having worked on it in such ways while having seemingly superb taste throughout.
Dang! It's really just so good!
If Anna can't find a loving, committed relationship, the rest of us don't stand a chance.
You realise she is a person who literaly NEED therapy right? And she is getting it. But ok, here is a fast advice - look into yourself, and your dating choices so far. Crushes also count. Ask yourself what all the men that you want have in common? Are those men fit to be in a kind of a relationship you want? What are the type of men who ARE fit to be in a such relationship? And lastly - stop looking for men who you find attractive, and start looking for men who you will have attractive relationship with.
Humans are too complicated. Simplify yourself, your life, and your communication, stop overthinking - openly honestly talk - and there won't be issues or disappointments.
I have to ask this question soon it’s terrifying wish me luck y’all
good luck!
Good luck!
Good luck! How did it go?
Good luck! ❤️
Good luck boi
I’m going through this very thing! Thank you (and your therapist) for the reminder that it’s important to be brave in this too!
I completely understand the issues around this question. So much so that generally I don't even consider it. I'm so happy for you asking it. Maybe I'll try it too
Recently I did this, unfortunately over text. Word to the wise: do it in person, as nerve wracking as it will be you'll at least get an immediate response so you aren't giving your anxiety hours to run wild before you finally give up on him ever responding and accept that he doesn't see it going anywhere. K, that got a little specific but seriously, ask in person
I clicked this on a newyears eve lmaoooo
Happy New Year
well she uploaded ot on newyears eve
Honestly, that is something you need to talk about in the beginning of the relationship. Like either first date chit chat or if you meet online ask before you meet in person. When you ask do not grill the prospective partner for their answers but ask conversationally.
I just wanna see Anna in a happy healthy relationship, she's such an amazing person. Yo Ana if by the time I hit 30 you're not married, hit me up gurl XD
This year I was both the one that RAN away and the one that asked away and got the answer I didn’t want. Instant karma is instant justice, so I’m grateful because I think the person from whom I ran found someone emotionally available and he’s happy.
I hope everyone finds a safeplace, you deserve it! Don’t lose the hope if someone doesn’t want to stay in your life and don’t punish yourself if you can’t stay in someone’s life. 💕
Who else has an anxious attachment style? 😅🙋♀️😭
Gang gang 😭💪🏼💪🏼
So many of your videos I find relatable. You're one of the few youtubers I regularly watch because I feel like you are yourself through your videos. It's either Anna or tech videos about the new GTX 4090 with 16~ cuda cores. I really like how you're funny but you make points about life and you're honest with your difficulties. You're a talented all-around awesome woman. I wish you knew me to know how conservative I am with my compliments.
Hi Anna love from Malaysia and happy new year!
I would totally dig being your friend. You seem fun, not afraid to put it all out there and smile in the face of adversity. Those who can call you friend have a true treasure.
I asked this a few weeks ago after 4 years, she had a panic attack and we broke up. So yeah, the fear is justified!
I hope you do find what you need in the future! But, fear justified or not, at least you won't spend the next four years of your life in a mockery of the relationship you actually want just to have it end in even more misery due to prolonged waste of your investments! You got out of the relationship dumpster BEFORE it was on fire.
Wow. After 4 years, & that's the response you were given. Yikes.
Go check the work of coach chorey wayne - dating coach.
My gosh but I worry about jumping from "he's looking for something different from what I am" to "he doesn't deserve me in his life."
Omg this literally happened to me on New Years! I was dating a guy for a while and it was going great. We had amazing compatibility, were consistent, had great conversations, etc so naturally I thought that this could go somewhere. But alas, when I asked him “where do we stand?” He had a full on meltdown saying he doesn’t know, accusing me of so many things and pretty much blaming me for “ruining a good thing”. I’m glad that ended there. Good riddance ✌🏻
I love you! Thank you for this. Two years ago, it took me a really long time to ask the question and I got heartbroken. Now, I straight up just tell people where my interest is (or isn't) and I've seen that my honesty has helped me develop healthier dating patterns overall. It's not just about asking, but being candid about what our needs are. Sometimes, we get the answer we want, and sometimes we don't, but it's so much better to know (even at the risk of coming across as a vulnerable idiot).
I was going to skip this but then i thought, this is probably the best content ill see today, glad i was right
I have done sooooo much research on dating. Sounds like you have been practicing some good dating advice. I love what the millionaire matchmaker says- “No sex until love.” That way we don’t get attached to someone who doesn’t meet our standards. I also love what Matthew Hussey advises: to reward good behavior with phrases like “I think it’s sexy when a man/woman cooks/communicates/etc.” One last nugget of dating gold is the Love Factually book. So much learned!!! ❤️ I know you will find everything you’re looking for because you’re becoming self aware and curious, and that’s really all it takes.
I will defend someone being bullied by a giant without hesitation, stand up for my rights under full fire and use every ounce of my strength to lift something 10x my size out of the car; but dear God, please do not get me romantically involved with someone I have to wonder "What are we?" with. My brain can't handle it either lol
Can’t believe I’ve been watching you since I was 12... I’m now 20 years old and your videos have only gotten better ever since. I love the lessons you makes videos about.
Who else is diving into 2021 with courage and bravery?✌🏻
Not me, that's for sure.
We alll
Wohoo 🥳
Unngh you're freaking amazing Anna! I really needed this right now.
I knew something was immediately wrong, I could see in Anna’s eyes that she was sad... which contrasts so powerfully from her normal bubbly self. Have a hard time understanding how dude wouldn’t want to lock it down and take her to the courthouse... unless maybe he felt like he didn’t deserve her, that’s the only way that makes any sense to me. 🤷🏾♂️😂
She's decent looking and she has money, but that's really where the good points end. She's got issues and that might be why she struggles to have a relationship last longer than 3 months. I'll wish her luck though.
@@paulidson1483 well to me she seems bubbly, self reflective, brave, ambitious, strong, funny and extremely smart and beautiful but thats my opinion, maybe thats why we shouldn't punch someone elses personality to the ground if we oly see them for a few scripted minutes per week ;)
@@sinis5731
If her personality was that great then she wouldn't be struggling to have a relationship last longer than 3 months.
I'm not trying to put her down, I'm just pointing out the obvious, there's a problem somewhere.
Man my heart broke for you at 3:55 you’re such a catch Anna
So im historically self destructive. I had to hear that twice lol
Off topic -- I just wanted to say that I LOVE that Ana is including friends / roommates in her videos. Of course I love her playing multiple characters, and I love that she's sharing her creative world with others. Wholesome 2020 growth ☺️
Welcome to the club to bold clarity!
Ask the same thing just a couple of weeks ago. Focus my vibe elsewhere now. 🌴👀
The last "situationship" I had when I brought up that question after 3 months of dating, he says "let's just see where it goes". That was heartbreaking and my cue to say goodbye before I got even more hurt and rejected
Ummm, we have Netflix, Amazon and HBO on Crave up here in Canada.
there are diff selections of shows!! not all licensing is the same based on territory
When your relationship is onesided so you gather the courage to ask this terifying question and you get the answer that he wants you around as one of his friends with benefits... 💔
I still love him and want what's best for him and it pains me to see him use this kind of interactions because of the emotional trauma he's been through. 😢
Why is this so me right now?
"Historicly self-destructive" F**king brilliant!
In order to ask that question, one must actually be dating someone first. Wonder what that feels like
Good for you!!Your growing before our eyes!!Onward and upwards!!
meanwhile im on the other end of the spectrum and I ask it too soon and scare people away hahahah
I think you’re on the right path. 🙂
@@marieshielenriquez I really hope so!!
@@SamElle I asked within 2 month, is that soon? Lmao
@@Sarafara7 how many dates did you guys have? I usually ask around 5 or 6 dates!
@@SamElle no dates! We met online, long distance. But I was clear that I was looking for something serious and he agreed. We were talking all the time these 2 months...
Oh my God, this came at exactly the right time. I have anxious attachment and I started talikng to a guy. At some point I was so stressed out and my anxiety was so high because I didn't know if he likes me or he sees me just a friend. I talked with my therapist and she said the exact same thing as you, Anna.. She told me to ask him "What are we?". Needless to say I was freaked out by the question. But she also told me this is what someone with secure attachment would do, so I started to think about doing it. He distanced from me, and we don't talk as much, but I will probably still ask him what's going on between us. Thank you for posting this and giving me the boost I needed.
#BringGoolPicturesBack Pleeeas
When you find the person that answers that question in the way that leads to what you want, you should then realize every answer was a good answer because you got the info you needed to hear from each person.
The question "Where are we going?" somehow triggers my inner jukebox: "We're going nowhere. We live our lives like we're ready to die! We're going nowhere."
This is Seth the turtle (Thanks BMTH)
Simp the turtle
Sandpit Turtle*
I absolutely love your background!! So eye-catching!! I think that every time I see you in that room and just had to mention it. (Love your content, too, of course!!! Keep being your amazing self!)
Boy oh boy did I do the question, and the answer I got was : we are in an open relationship
And that's where I went in a downdwards spiral for about a year, but I am better now
Yeah, one person can't just decide that on their own. That requires consent from both parties. I really feel for you.
😅I got that too! Run gurl runnn
@@nisarats.2625 Primio is a boys name.
Way to put it on the line. Admirable bravery. Onward!!!
Good morning all
good morninggg
I did ask this question very often… Sometimes even with a positive result. It is very relaxing for both sides.
never been this early before
Same!
El sameo!
Saaaaame
Sameeee omg 😄
Same
I asked the question last night. We're just friends, but that's better than never seeing one another. Now I can focus on looking for someone else, while having someone awesome to support me when things get tough.
Here's a comment for the algorithm:)
i don't know whether you will this message from me or not. but your existence and your contents helps me a lot to deal with my life suffering, your life helps thousand people and i hope you have always that room of strength to keep knowing your value in whatever conditions you are in. you deserve to be treated by love, anna (and team). and i love you!
I’m afraid too. And i don’t know where things are going. But I am hopeful. (But why can’t SHE ask the question?)😆
This was exactly what I needed to hear today and probably many more times down the road. Definitely one to bookmark! :)
I feel like asking this question too early in the dating process might give you an answer you don't want but only because the person doesn't know you well enough and just might not want to give you a commitment promise as of yet, even if they were interested in a committed relationship... but once they got to know you more they would feel more comfortable being honest about their desires and not just say a "bad answer" to seem casual
I don't agree. You are just asking where things are headed, not asking for a commitment right away. If you scare someone off with this, they were immature. Emotionally mature ppl can just say they don't know yet but want to see what happens and be clear about expectations
I gotta agree with @nosoynadaoriginal. If they like you or want to get to know you more first, then they should be mature enough to say that.
+nosoynadaoriginal
The problem with giving that type of answer is that it could still backfire and be interpreted as an emotionally immature response. When a man or woman asks that kind of question to a person they are currently seeing, they often expect a more definitive answer. Saying “I don’t know” could be interpreted as a person being immature and not knowing enough about themselves. It could also be seen as leading someone on to say “I don’t know” and continuing to date and see that person. I’m don’t know could also just be a subtle or underhanded way of saying “no, I don’t want a committed relationship but I’ll keep dating and being physically intimate with you until I get bored or until one of us cheats”. Some people don’t like to be strung along like that.
@@razorwindrazor3981 i didn't say "idk" and that's it. I said be clear about expectations as well. Also, you ask a question, is your responsability of accepting the answer or leaving. You can't expect ppl to respond however you want them to, that's maturity on your part as well
+nosoynadaoriginal
Even if a person clarifies their answer after saying I don’t know, the other person could still have lingering suspicions and doubts about why the person gave that answer in the first place. Being clear about expectations is a good thing but it doesn’t always end well or result in a mutual understanding. Sure, you can’t expect to get the answer you want all the time, but sometimes it’s not as cut and dry as you’re making it out to be.
the fact that i was scared to ask this to the girl i’ve been hooking up with for the new year’s 😭😭 anna ur ready coming through w the signs