⚠️ If you’re married and your expectations are not being met or you’re in need of advice in a private matter 🙌 We can help! ⬇️ Book a 20min Discovery Chat (Faceless & 100% Private) to see how we can help ⬇️ calendly.com/themuslimmarriagecoach/30min
Private. You don’t have to show your face or mention your name. It’s only ever recorded if a client agrees prior to the session and they usually receive a bonus session
The reason I like your channel is because you have content that supports both brothers and sisters and it’s not one sided. Thank you for covering this. Jazak’allahu khair
Sorry but the key word you said is “GOOD MAN” not every woman has a good man in their life. Some women are dealing with men with mental issues and these brothers listen to this and scream OBEY ME whilst making awful decisions. This is great advice for women with reliable sensible husbands .the reality is we don’t all have that. Personally I need to know my kids are safe and fed.
Thank you for sharing this and I want to first say that May Allah make your situation and other sister easy for them and remove their difficulty within regards to their husbands I know I did not go into what a healthy relationship would look like in terms of obeying the husband but most normal men do not throw around the these types of words and commands In fact normally sounds like ‘can you please’ ‘hey do you mind sorting..’ ‘hey hun, can you cook this meal for us’ etc Most men are good and there are only a few toxic, narcissistic men out there just as most women are good and there are only a few toxic narcissistic women May Allah ease your affairs and i just wanted to respond to what you said about ‘these brothers’ will listen to this and scream obey. Most of them won’t.
@@TheMuslimMarriageCoach sorry if it wasn’t clear I meant brothers with mental issues and yes also narcissistic traits. And there are quite a few of them I know of a lot of sisters struggling . However I do agree there are good brothers and in a normal healthy relationship I think these things come naturally. I also know there are good brothers struggling with their wives and attitudes. My point really is life is not black and white, this is the ideal but life is not always ideal. Thank you for your polite response.
The same can be said about women especially in the 21st century, a lot of women trauma dump and project sorry but this isn't controversial, when brothers give advice to some sisters they have selective hearing and it doesn't matter where the advice is coming from either man or woman some woman who have issues as you mentioned just have selective hearing, and instead of evaluating themselves they just rant and ask questions like why can't he do this and that which is not going to be productive and nor will it lead to the outcome they want a happy relationship, feminine woman ARE THE BEST WALLAHI.
@@TheMuslimMarriageCoachI’m sorry brother I’m not sure if u understand how toxic men are these days, I know so many women who lead ther homes whilst their man is in sheesha, affairs, mental health, or not engaging with kids etc. I know one wife who begs him to say as salaam to kids rather then hi, it’s been yesrs he still says he can’t do it as he it mentally unwell. There are not many good men now. I’m really not saying this lightly when I was in my 20s I always believed men should lead and women are emotional now I’m in my 40s I realise that it will be men leading us to hellfire
It’s understandable if we have been living in the west. Muslim Husbands will also have things that trigger them as a result of living in the west or feminism. A good husband won’t abuse this power and most husbands don’t even use these terms. They lead by example and mutual respect. They earn that respect over time and the wife would want to do anything to please him as he does the same for her. It’s a partnership in that sense and each understand the rights that the other has on them Don’t listen to commentators online who always remind others about the toxic men out there. These guys are a fraction of the community and majority of Muslim men are good men. So long as you work on your relationship with Allah as a human and be consistent with dua, Allah will grant you are quality man that you will naturally listen to out of love and if you’re married he will aid you to guide your husband
Alhamdulliah my wife always say that to her friends. But I remember one time she told that one of her friends said to her why are you scared of your husband n asking him everything. Subhanallah shaytan whispering
Salamun alaik. Husbands need to look at what it means to be a leader, and the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salaam is the best example. Leaders value the people they are leading and take care of how they take forward the final decisions, and why. "How" we do tjings is important. Many men and husbands need to learn about commination and emotional intelligence. Because their end goal should be to get their families to Jannah al-firdous without any reckoning. And how to create and foster a home of love and mercy. And keep a barrier from Allah's wrath.
In my humble opinion, I think the language we use is important. “Obey, listen to, ask for permission” may have a negative connotation, if you tell any human being even children to obey they will likely repel. Treating each other with respect and informing each other out of common courtesy is something we all do on a daily basis with our friends, family and colleagues.
i feel the same way. Respect, good communnication, kindness, consideration can go far. Just wording the same thing differently can either have a worse or better affect.
@@iqradahir946We’re Muslim sis we don’t change our religion to fit our feelings. If Allah SWT say obey then we must obey our spouse. Following Allah’s commandment is what makes us a Muslim which means the one who submitted.
@@halalpolice23 we know the religion is Allah's but the ulema did not do a good job translating the quran in english obey is for god only the English language is not the best fit for the quran to obey means regardless of how things are you must follow is that how marriage is the men that God made our husbands are humans like us how can you follow them blindly and unconditionally they dont even know where they are going and sadly some are not even well themselves .so obey is a strong term it could be respect or love,listen to they would be more encouraging
Allahuma bariik walal what a good advice you gave her. May Allah reward you. You literaly thought about her akhira. Dunya is short. So lets hold hard for our deen and learn it. Indeed we will live a good life if we follow 100% our deen, The Quran and sunnah.
I believe it stems from a sickness of the heart. Many brothers and sisters may not realise that their hearts are in need of spiritual healing, which can be attained by returning to the Quran and Sunnah, and surrounding themselves with good, supportive friends and advisers.
At this point i would rather stay alone (live my life helping people and orphans) than to be with someone that can make me go to jahanam by not obeying. my chance of going to jannah is much higher being alone than with a man. Man can either make it easier or difficult for the women but yeah seeing how muslim men talk about women (about marriage) in commentsection made me realise that women are seen as objects in marriages which cofused me a lot and distorted my vision, i thought that the practicing muslims where the good ones but those ones ended up being very toxic and religiously manupilative, the way they talk is just baffeling. Love,understanding, support, emotional inteligence, empathy, care, genuin intrest healthy relationship from an psychological/islamic standpoint and whatever barly exist. U assume being triggered is someone being disobedient which is a very heavy statement. Many women have dealt with narcisistic abuse, cptsd and other mental health issues caused by a man like myself. Yall need to educate your gender to treat women well and to regulate their emotions in a healthy manner and to have emotional intelligence and a good character and what marriage and a healthy relationship is and how to raise children in a good manner. If i as a born muslim didnt find islam on accident and learned about it by myself all over again, i would have left it completely a long time ago. alhamdulilah allah saved me. i already expect hate comments saying this,go ahead
Jazak’allahu khair for sharing your thoughts. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had a bad experience with a man and can understand why you wouldn’t want to get married again May Allah grant you the highest of Jannah and protect you in this world. Ameen
@@metroshootu7377just like the way you are stating your irrelevant opinion she can state her opinion. No need to act sour. People find peace and comfort who are going through the same situation.
@@metroshootu7377samsam is not replying to you but here you are absolutely triggered 😂😂😂 you, an incel calling others femcel are justtttt like a pot calling kettle black lololol
they do be thinking they have something special about them when they force people to 'obey' when sometimes (or most of the time) they're way dum2 than women 😂 and yes to all you're saying about regulating the emotions, emotional intelligence and good characters. most men lack these things but have a realllll delusion about how people have to 'obey' them lulz
What if u listen but he doesnt listen to you and what u want. For example I was forced to wear the niqab which I made clear before marriage that I wouldn't wear i..yet i was forced to wear it by him and his family.. when i asked him to keep a beard he refused to keep a beard for so called job purposes .. I was expected to just be a maid to him and his family..i got fed up and he himself left to Manchester without telling me so i ended it and we divorced after 5 years! That's when eife is expected to obey his family and him but the husband does what he pleases. So he was progressing his career and enjoying life whilst i was miserable... alhumdullilah it ended..eoman is expected to be patient but there's a limit to patience...i cooked did it all for him ..
These type of men do not follow the sunnah when it comes to treating your wife the best and valuing their opinion and thoughts and normally they have no Islamic knowledge If a man has no Islamic knowledge then he will copy his parents They believe it’s one way traffic and im glad that you left that marriage
Too many men are mother enmershed so no , it is not worth it. Nobody speaks about this BIG problem. Some mothers go as far as the son seeing her in underwear and nobody talks about this emotional incest problem@@TheMuslimMarriageCoach
@@maiiouma you don’t think people who divorced thought they choose the right person too?😂 even if you do all things by the book there’s still a high probability of divorce. Nothing to do with feminism ( no idea why you even added that in ) the stats on marriage speak for themselves
People abuse religion all the time. Many sisters today are FORCED by their husbands to work and contribute. Men nowadays are curious about your money,savings,work,and want you to pay bills. And will get angry if you decide to leave your job. This man usually does not care about you, what you do, what you wear. He gives you freedom. Because he does not care about you It is either this situation or he wants to lock her up and speaks to her like she is under his shoe and controll her life in a way that she cant do anything And can you please look up about mother enmershed men and vice versa which make it impossible to have healthy marriages and often is the root cause he can not live his own life and be a DEVOTED husband as he should be? There is not too much videos about this. There needs to be a lot more talk about this You should RESPECT your mother at all cost, i respect my parents also. But you CANNOT as a 30 year old kiss your mother on her lips, sit on her lab and be sooo emotional about her and let her control your emotions like you are still an infant in a grown body? How can your marriage work if you are emotionally so involved. Boundaries are much needed. This is not just in christianity but also in islam. Islam does not approve of you being so close with your sister or mother that you see her in her underwear? Or vice versa? She is not your wife and you are not her husband. Sometimes the mother and son relationships get so nasty Where are the honest balanced men ? May allah grand us a good spouse or keep us happy and peaceful single
Thank you! And all these men that suddenly are quoting ahadeeth left and right to prove their point. That's not how it works bro.. I honestly think it's one of our times biggest fitnas. Using Allahs religion to convince women they need to 'obey'. A3uudhubillah
@@HeyyyWhazzuuup mashallah wllhi brother aleast you understand they make you question the deen allah has no favourites marriage it self is sunnah so if men do stop misbehaving we can all stay away from marriage
@@manlykramo because a slave obeys. As a women I will only obey Allah. Iam not a slave for a man. That’s why we h8 that word cause most men want a slave they don’t want a partner.
⚠️ If you’re married and your expectations are not being met or you’re in need of advice in a private matter
🙌 We can help!
⬇️ Book a 20min Discovery Chat (Faceless & 100% Private) to see how we can help ⬇️
calendly.com/themuslimmarriagecoach/30min
Will it be private or recorded?
Private. You don’t have to show your face or mention your name.
It’s only ever recorded if a client agrees prior to the session and they usually receive a bonus session
@@TheMuslimMarriageCoachI'm female. Can I have a session or does my husband need to be there
The reason I like your channel is because you have content that supports both brothers and sisters and it’s not one sided. Thank you for covering this. Jazak’allahu khair
Sorry but the key word you said is “GOOD MAN” not every woman has a good man in their life. Some women are dealing with men with mental issues and these brothers listen to this and scream OBEY ME whilst making awful decisions. This is great advice for women with reliable sensible husbands .the reality is we don’t all have that. Personally I need to know my kids are safe and fed.
Thank you for sharing this and I want to first say that May Allah make your situation and other sister easy for them and remove their difficulty within regards to their husbands
I know I did not go into what a healthy relationship would look like in terms of obeying the husband but most normal men do not throw around the these types of words and commands
In fact normally sounds like ‘can you please’ ‘hey do you mind sorting..’ ‘hey hun, can you cook this meal for us’ etc
Most men are good and there are only a few toxic, narcissistic men out there just as most women are good and there are only a few toxic narcissistic women
May Allah ease your affairs and i just wanted to respond to what you said about ‘these brothers’ will listen to this and scream obey. Most of them won’t.
@@TheMuslimMarriageCoach sorry if it wasn’t clear I meant brothers with mental issues and yes also narcissistic traits. And there are quite a few of them I know of a lot of sisters struggling . However I do agree there are good brothers and in a normal healthy relationship I think these things come naturally. I also know there are good brothers struggling with their wives and attitudes. My point really is life is not black and white, this is the ideal but life is not always ideal. Thank you for your polite response.
The same can be said about women especially in the 21st century, a lot of women trauma dump and project sorry but this isn't controversial, when brothers give advice to some sisters they have selective hearing and it doesn't matter where the advice is coming from either man or woman some woman who have issues as you mentioned just have selective hearing, and instead of evaluating themselves they just rant and ask questions like why can't he do this and that which is not going to be productive and nor will it lead to the outcome they want a happy relationship, feminine woman ARE THE BEST WALLAHI.
@@TheMuslimMarriageCoachI’m sorry brother I’m not sure if u understand how toxic men are these days, I know so many women who lead ther homes whilst their man is in sheesha, affairs, mental health, or not engaging with kids etc. I know one wife who begs him to say as salaam to kids rather then hi, it’s been yesrs he still says he can’t do it as he it mentally unwell. There are not many good men now. I’m really not saying this lightly when I was in my 20s I always believed men should lead and women are emotional now I’m in my 40s I realise that it will be men leading us to hellfire
This statement obey and listen really triggers me but I do know I have to work on this because I need to please Allaah
It’s understandable if we have been living in the west. Muslim Husbands will also have things that trigger them as a result of living in the west or feminism.
A good husband won’t abuse this power and most husbands don’t even use these terms. They lead by example and mutual respect. They earn that respect over time and the wife would want to do anything to please him as he does the same for her. It’s a partnership in that sense and each understand the rights that the other has on them
Don’t listen to commentators online who always remind others about the toxic men out there. These guys are a fraction of the community and majority of Muslim men are good men.
So long as you work on your relationship with Allah as a human and be consistent with dua, Allah will grant you are quality man that you will naturally listen to out of love and if you’re married he will aid you to guide your husband
I listen and follow when it's sensible.
May Allah make it easy for us all
Road to 1k 🚀
Alhamdulliah my wife always say that to her friends. But I remember one time she told that one of her friends said to her why are you scared of your husband n asking him everything. Subhanallah shaytan whispering
Shaytan is our common enemy
Salamun alaik. Husbands need to look at what it means to be a leader, and the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salaam is the best example. Leaders value the people they are leading and take care of how they take forward the final decisions, and why. "How" we do tjings is important. Many men and husbands need to learn about commination and emotional intelligence. Because their end goal should be to get their families to Jannah al-firdous without any reckoning. And how to create and foster a home of love and mercy. And keep a barrier from Allah's wrath.
In my humble opinion, I think the language we use is important. “Obey, listen to, ask for permission” may have a negative connotation, if you tell any human being even children to obey they will likely repel. Treating each other with respect and informing each other out of common courtesy is something we all do on a daily basis with our friends, family and colleagues.
i feel the same way. Respect, good communnication, kindness, consideration can go far. Just wording the same thing differently can either have a worse or better affect.
@@metroshootu7377the English translation of quran did us no justice obey is a big word we should find another word for obey obey all belongs to Allah
@@iqradahir946We’re Muslim sis we don’t change our religion to fit our feelings. If Allah SWT say obey then we must obey our spouse. Following Allah’s commandment is what makes us a Muslim which means the one who submitted.
@@halalpolice23 we know the religion is Allah's but the ulema did not do a good job translating the quran in english obey is for god only the English language is not the best fit for the quran to obey means regardless of how things are you must follow is that how marriage is the men that God made our husbands are humans like us how can you follow them blindly and unconditionally they dont even know where they are going and sadly some are not even well themselves .so obey is a strong term it could be respect or love,listen to they would be more encouraging
This the language the prophet (ﷺ) so we use it to as Muslims .. we do not change nothing to please us Alhamdulilah
Wallahi obeying your husband is the hardest thing in marriage SubhanAllah 😅
May Allah SWT make easy for us
Ameen
Ameen
Well said bro 👍
Allahuma bariik walal what a good advice you gave her. May Allah reward you. You literaly thought about her akhira. Dunya is short. So lets hold hard for our deen and learn it. Indeed we will live a good life if we follow 100% our deen, The Quran and sunnah.
MashaAllah this is amazing advise. JazaAllah Khairan bro.
may Allah reward you bro.
Ameen, wa iyaak
Allahuma baarik brother. Mashallah we're proud of you brother.
Well said
Thanks
MashAllah we needed this knowledge.
You need guus Xalima wa dhilooyin
I believe it stems from a sickness of the heart. Many brothers and sisters may not realise that their hearts are in need of spiritual healing, which can be attained by returning to the Quran and Sunnah, and surrounding themselves with good, supportive friends and advisers.
I ain’t married yet but great advice ❤
At this point i would rather stay alone (live my life helping people and orphans) than to be with someone that can make me go to jahanam by not obeying. my chance of going to jannah is much higher being alone than with a man. Man can either make it easier or difficult for the women but yeah seeing how muslim men talk about women (about marriage) in commentsection made me realise that women are seen as objects in marriages which cofused me a lot and distorted my vision, i thought that the practicing muslims where the good ones but those ones ended up being very toxic and religiously manupilative, the way they talk is just baffeling. Love,understanding, support, emotional inteligence, empathy, care, genuin intrest healthy relationship from an psychological/islamic standpoint and whatever barly exist. U assume being triggered is someone being disobedient which is a very heavy statement. Many women have dealt with narcisistic abuse, cptsd and other mental health issues caused by a man like myself. Yall need to educate your gender to treat women well and to regulate their emotions in a healthy manner and to have emotional intelligence and a good character and what marriage and a healthy relationship is and how to raise children in a good manner. If i as a born muslim didnt find islam on accident and learned about it by myself all over again, i would have left it completely a long time ago. alhamdulilah allah saved me. i already expect hate comments saying this,go ahead
Jazak’allahu khair for sharing your thoughts. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had a bad experience with a man and can understand why you wouldn’t want to get married again
May Allah grant you the highest of Jannah and protect you in this world. Ameen
@@metroshootu7377just like the way you are stating your irrelevant opinion she can state her opinion. No need to act sour. People find peace and comfort who are going through the same situation.
Not one lie!!! I rather stay alone than being abused or cheated on.
@@metroshootu7377samsam is not replying to you but here you are absolutely triggered 😂😂😂 you, an incel calling others femcel are justtttt like a pot calling kettle black lololol
they do be thinking they have something special about them when they force people to 'obey' when sometimes (or most of the time) they're way dum2 than women 😂 and yes to all you're saying about regulating the emotions, emotional intelligence and good characters. most men lack these things but have a realllll delusion about how people have to 'obey' them lulz
What if u listen but he doesnt listen to you and what u want. For example I was forced to wear the niqab which I made clear before marriage that I wouldn't wear i..yet i was forced to wear it by him and his family.. when i asked him to keep a beard he refused to keep a beard for so called job purposes .. I was expected to just be a maid to him and his family..i got fed up and he himself left to Manchester without telling me so i ended it and we divorced after 5 years! That's when eife is expected to obey his family and him but the husband does what he pleases. So he was progressing his career and enjoying life whilst i was miserable... alhumdullilah it ended..eoman is expected to be patient but there's a limit to patience...i cooked did it all for him ..
These type of men do not follow the sunnah when it comes to treating your wife the best and valuing their opinion and thoughts and normally they have no Islamic knowledge
If a man has no Islamic knowledge then he will copy his parents
They believe it’s one way traffic and im glad that you left that marriage
And what if a man doesn’t prat? do you have to obbey him?
If he’s not praying, you’ve got a bigger issue unfortunately. Try to advice him in the best of ways and set an example within yourself
Beautiful vedio ❤❤
is marriage even worth it anymore
Ofc it is. May Allah grant you a righteous spouse who loves you and who you love aswell
@@rogueslinky9537 i don't think so. but ameen.
May Allah grant you a pious spouse that will respect you, love you and value you and your opinions and thoughts
Too many men are mother enmershed so no , it is not worth it. Nobody speaks about this BIG problem. Some mothers go as far as the son seeing her in underwear and nobody talks about this emotional incest problem@@TheMuslimMarriageCoach
@@maiiouma you don’t think people who divorced thought they choose the right person too?😂 even if you do all things by the book there’s still a high probability of divorce. Nothing to do with feminism ( no idea why you even added that in ) the stats on marriage speak for themselves
People abuse religion all the time.
Many sisters today are FORCED by their husbands to work and contribute. Men nowadays are curious about your money,savings,work,and want you to pay bills. And will get angry if you decide to leave your job.
This man usually does not care about you, what you do, what you wear. He gives you freedom. Because he does not care about you
It is either this situation or he wants to lock her up and speaks to her like she is under his shoe and controll her life in a way that she cant do anything
And can you please look up about mother enmershed men and vice versa which make it impossible to have healthy marriages and often is the root cause he can not live his own life and be a DEVOTED husband as he should be? There is not too much videos about this. There needs to be a lot more talk about this
You should RESPECT your mother at all cost, i respect my parents also. But you CANNOT as a 30 year old kiss your mother on her lips, sit on her lab and be sooo emotional about her and let her control your emotions like you are still an infant in a grown body? How can your marriage work if you are emotionally so involved. Boundaries are much needed. This is not just in christianity but also in islam. Islam does not approve of you being so close with your sister or mother that you see her in her underwear? Or vice versa? She is not your wife and you are not her husband. Sometimes the mother and son relationships get so nasty
Where are the honest balanced men ? May allah grand us a good spouse or keep us happy and peaceful single
Yeah the topic of men and their mothers needs to be discussed
May Allah protect us all
Exactly there needs to be a balance, a man should be concerned for his wife in a healthy manner not in a controlling and suffocating way.
the English translation of quran did us no justice obey is a big word we should find another word for obey obey only belongs to Allah
Sorry you might want to retract this statement
@@manlykramo no I would like to retract your dad
Thank you! And all these men that suddenly are quoting ahadeeth left and right to prove their point. That's not how it works bro.. I honestly think it's one of our times biggest fitnas. Using Allahs religion to convince women they need to 'obey'. A3uudhubillah
@@HeyyyWhazzuuup mashallah wllhi brother aleast you understand they make you question the deen allah has no favourites marriage it self is sunnah so if men do stop misbehaving we can all stay away from marriage
@@metroshootu7377 Haha nope. If you really are a alim or even just a student of knowledge, you know that's literally not how it works.
The word obey is like kryptonite for some women 😅
Yeah sometimes if they’ve had trauma it’s understandable
@@manlykramo because a slave obeys. As a women I will only obey Allah. Iam not a slave for a man. That’s why we h8 that word cause most men want a slave they don’t want a partner.
@Sa_m-sam Allah has litteraly told women to obey in the Qur'an. Are you going against that?
@@Adam-np2ik you don’t even obey Allah… 1ncell
@@Sa_m-samIt depends, besides there’s plenty of muslim men who value partnership over subservience. It’s all about finding the right man.