⚠️ If you’re single and you’re unsure why you can’t find the right person for you or you’re in need of advice in a private matter 🙌 We can help! ⬇️ Book a 20min Discovery Chat (Faceless & 100% Private) to see how we can help ⬇️ calendly.com/themuslimmarriagecoach/30min
The cost depends on your needs. Married couples typically need 3 sessions but singles usually only need 1 session. We can discuss details during your free session
@@TheMuslimMarriageCoachbut why don’t you not have one for the wife?? What if the couple live different countries? What if as a wife you want to understand the issues 😓😓 you should make one for the wives too
I've been on the marriage search for years now and this is the first time I have come across such practical advice. Ive always known these were qualities to avoid but didnt know how to ascertain whether the brother was any of these type of guys. JazakAllahu khair for the advice.
Salam aleykun wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu, thank you so much for these advice. Sadly, a lot of muslim male speakers seem to brush womens fears under the carpet. You seem genuinly caring about the sisters. So thank you. Great points that you made that i will insha allah apply.
Allahuma barik. A very informative video and a must watch for those seeking marriage partners. May Allah SWT reward you generously for the wisdom you impart
Another way to tell if someone is serious about their salah for example is to meet close to salah time, and if they don’t seem to be concerned or looking for somewhere to pray, then that is also an indication that they aren't taking salah seriously.
This would back fire on you. The person would say why are you trying to schedule a meeting with me near Salah time. Then he would think you’re not serious about your Salah. Then he would choose to be with you. Be careful.
Just include salah in your plan then, or purposefully pick out an eating spot that has a prayer room or masjid near by and mention it after the fact. That also shows ur dedication to salah
Don’t try to test people, Allahs the one that will expose people to one another, instead of seeing how they react when it’s Salah time why don’t you say let’s go pray it’s Salah time and then see how they respond instead of
Great advice which I find very useful as wali of female relatives looking to get married, especially the strategic line of questioning about how the brother breaks for Salah during working hours.
New subscriber here! Thank you for this video-it's such an important reminder for us single sisters. I’d love to see more content like this! Absolutely love your channel-keep up the amazing work! 😊 Much love from Australia 🇦🇺
MashAllah Brother! May Allah bless you, your family and your work. This is amazing content. I’m happily married for 10 years alhamdulilah. I will share with others I know.
A lot of people advise marrying someone with potential and then seeing if they will change later. I think it might work if someone is very young and both are starting out in their deen, otherwise it is a huge gamble.
Question, what to do if my dad isn't interested in getting me married because I have a disability and he thinks marriage is pointless? Unfortunately he has this cultural belief that disabled people don't have desires. I'm 26 and he expects me to be single forever. I'm at my wits end and I'm close to being in a haram relationship because I'm entering my late 20s now and I don't know how much longer I can remain chaist wallahi
First make continuous dua that Allah changes your father’s heart or to make a way out for you At the same time, see if there is any older family members that can change is view and make him take you seriously If he doesn’t change, can anybody else be your wali that is willing to stand up against your dad A lot of the time, parents take things seriously when you actually have someone. If you do, let them know there is somebody and keep talking to them about it (as frustrating as it gets) Wake up last third of the night and cry to Allah to make a way out for you. Don’t do this just once. Do it more and more May Allah make your situation easy for you
@@TheMuslimMarriageCoach unfortunately the answer is no for all of those questions. He stubborn and nothing anyone says changes him. Okay I'll try but I fear the fitnah and temptation is too much if I'm not able to marry soon. Wallahi I'm not an angel
@@Fifi6799 If you find someone and they come to the door to propose will he disagree? probably not. Just date online and see how it goes, then if you find a decent person ask them to propose.
@@fictionaddiction4706 yes he would say no because he follows the caste system and anyone of a different caste or culture gets an automatic rejection, even if he's a good man it wouldn't matter
@@Fifi6799 Sister, just forget about what he thinks for the coming days and focus on asking Allah and making dua especially in the last third of night as the Coach said. Have strong faith in God and have yaqeeen. Talk to Allah in the last third time (Tahajjud) and tell him subhanah what you have told us here don't complicate it tell him you have desires tell him you're afraid to approach Haram and Ask him to make you a way out. May Allah bless you with the righteous man soon and everything single sister.
I agree with every point except 8:37 “how to spot this type of guy” I believe where he worked is irrelevant and warehouse workers should not be discriminated against. Most immigrants work these jobs when they come to the country.
I hear what you’re saying but my intention was not to discriminate warehouse workers, but use a them as an example. It’s just an analogy for any field of work that doesn’t require much conversation, just like a scientist won’t be working with many people or certain engineers and even plumbers But thank you for the comment
Can you speak on polygyny? As a divorcee with a child I’m considering now to expand my pool. I’m a single mom but I’m seeking a forever marriage inshallah. But not sure haven’t really heard nowadays successful polygyny marriages.
I have a very touchy issue I'm looking for a spouse but I'm afflicted with unseen..been performing ruqya on myself for a while..I get worried that no one will accept me for this😢
Firstly may Allah make it easy for you but sadness and despair is from Shaytan That is your current test and Allah knows that you can overcome this as he doesn’t test anybody more than they can handle You need to write down steps and action plan how you can rectify this and also seek professional help and then place your trust in Allah Wake up at least once every week, in the last third of the night and cry to him to help you in your situation No doubt Allah is the best of planners May Allah grant you a pious and beautiful spouse who will be understanding of your situation
Usually if he takes long, it says something about you and what he thinks of you Put pressure and say either we’re getting married or not and if so, come and ask my family for my hand
But how would you know when you’re getting to know a guy if he is obsessive? Should I ask what are your hobbies and if his answer is nothing much assume that he could be obsessive?
Yeah so hobbies and lifestyle/daily schedule can give you an idea if he has more of a mission in his life and you don’t want him to make you the focus of his life as it can be off putting Also how often he communicates with you (keep this halal) and how desperate he is another sign
Yeah the speed at which he replies is huge. A man on a mission with his Deen and Dunya doesn’t have all the time in the world If he’s replying instantly, every single time, then it could mean that this is the first time he speaking to a sister at this stage of the process, or he’s actually obsessed with you and has no other options. I don’t think you should always say no to them. But enquire more about them if the alarm bells start ringing for Mr Obsessive Ask him what else does he do in spare time, what other goals does he have, any side hustles, any career targets, any Islamic goals he has etc and then the follow up question to that is what do you do everyday to execute and reach your goals If his schedule is busy, and sounds like his got e.g daily work, gym, side hustle, spend time with parents, and his Deen as his foundation (praying on time) etc then this is a good sign Also be realistic, a young 22 yr old man won’t have all of this in check and he may easily be interested in you and we can make excuses for him But a man above 25, who appears obsessive is a concern
Yes. I help and coach singles to figure out why they are struggling to get married and what type of person is best for them. And also divorcees You can book a discovery call here: calendly.com/themuslimmarriagecoach/30min
If someone listens to music but prays is this something to be careful of? What if your only asking all the questions and he is not? Also if he was married for over 10 years but had no kids in his previous marriage. Should this be a red flag??How do I ask about this?
Sounds like this person is marrying for the sake of marrying. If he's not invested from the beginning and you have to force to get his response and attention now, it'll get worse after marriage. Him not having kids from a ten year marriage could be something to consider as it's not always the women's fertility that's important but also the man's
@@noney4083tbh sis I think it’s very very worrying if a man is not inquisitive about someone they’re considering for marriage. So many possibilities…. Is he not serious about considering you/ uninterested? Is it because he has no standards and is just looking to take any woman? Is he the kind of guy who doesn’t think/consider important factors before he makes big decisions?
What about a Man that wants the wife to contribute money while he seems to be not willing to work a full time job to be able to provide for a family. 😢
@TheMuslimMarriageCoach ilaahay ha ku barakeeyo. I don't know if it is the right topic on the channel but is the Arange marriage could cost the or problem.
Please be super careful when marrying converts. Once the relationship breaks or goes through turmoil, they return to their old self 💯 that's a major red flag that he/she wasn't a sincere Muslim!
I always think converts should be careful marrying a Muslim man or woman who is not on top of their deen. Usually the Muslim man just wants a revert foreign beautiful woman that has no family to stand up for her and only accept nikkah and the Muslim woman wants a revert man where the woman thinks she can control the relationship and get away without wearing the hijab or doing her duties. I always see the revert getting hurt in marriage but come out stronger in deen that their non revert spouse
The same can be said about marrying born Muslims and it’s not fair to label all reverts like this But I appreciate that you may have gone through a difficult experience
As a revert, I think this is quite unfair to say sister. This could be the case with the ones that convert to Islam for the wrong reason (ie. just so they could marry someone) but for most reverts, that is not the case
As a woman you can tell him to help out at home. Ignore the other 2 stupid comments under here. In the western world, cost if living is high, so if a man can't pay for all the bills it doesn't make him less if a man. But it would make him less if a man if he doesn't even help you out at home at all.
Men that demand their wife to work a full time job be a mother and a wife must go work 2 or 3 jobs then we are equal. Please tell him stop being lazy and man up. HE must find a way to make extra income and work much more hours and days ??? Most men are off on weekends and never help or are miserable and start fights when you ask them to help you on weekends on their day off ?? Wealthy men work 20 hours sleep 4 hours no time for lazy men. Yes you can work if you want to and contribute but trust me it always fails miserably when roles are confused.
I think another one is if he looks into the viewfinder and not directly at the camera. Lol, jk. But yeah so many good points. Especially the obsessive one. I think when your frontal lobe develops usually around 25 or so, but can be longer, you start to learn not to be a people pleaser. Just please look into the camera on your next videos so your audience is engaged more.
What about if the girls obsessed with the man as she getting older and wants harder to get married and she thinks she will not find available good person like him 🥲
Most of the time, a girl being obsessed does not bother a man so much as long as he likes her. If anything it increases his love for her and wanting to get married However, you never want to go over board. Find a balance You can be obsessed about him deep down and think about him but don’t say or show too much of it as it could strike in his mind, why is she so desperate? Is she hiding something etc
⚠️ If you’re single and you’re unsure why you can’t find the right person for you or you’re in need of advice in a private matter
🙌 We can help!
⬇️ Book a 20min Discovery Chat (Faceless & 100% Private) to see how we can help ⬇️
calendly.com/themuslimmarriagecoach/30min
How much do you charge after the free session
The cost depends on your needs. Married couples typically need 3 sessions but singles usually only need 1 session. We can discuss details during your free session
@@TheMuslimMarriageCoachbut why don’t you not have one for the wife?? What if the couple live different countries? What if as a wife you want to understand the issues 😓😓 you should make one for the wives too
@@Humanity894 I’ve done it now. Feel free to book InshaAllah
@@TheMuslimMarriageCoachis the free session not available anymore?
I am looking for a spouse and this pops up..thank you Allah
Alhamdulilah
Alhumdullilah😊
I've been on the marriage search for years now and this is the first time I have come across such practical advice. Ive always known these were qualities to avoid but didnt know how to ascertain whether the brother was any of these type of guys.
JazakAllahu khair for the advice.
I’m happy you’ve found it beneficial. Thank you!
Salam aleykun wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
thank you so much for these advice. Sadly, a lot of muslim male speakers seem to brush womens fears under the carpet.
You seem genuinly caring about the sisters. So thank you. Great points that you made that i will insha allah apply.
Wa’laikum Salaam warahmatullahi wa barakatuhu. I’m glad you liked it. Thank you!
Allahuma barik. A very informative video and a must watch for those seeking marriage partners. May Allah SWT reward you generously for the wisdom you impart
Alhumdullilah 😊 these are great reminders for us sisters 😊. Our husband can be our ticket to Jannah or hell . May Allah make it easy on us Ameen
Ameen!
Third reason is why I want my husband to have goals, dreams, hobbies and even 2-3 friends/companions if Allah wills.
Another way to tell if someone is serious about their salah for example is to meet close to salah time, and if they don’t seem to be concerned or looking for somewhere to pray, then that is also an indication that they aren't taking salah seriously.
💯
This would back fire on you. The person would say why are you trying to schedule a meeting with me near Salah time. Then he would think you’re not serious about your Salah. Then he would choose to be with you. Be careful.
Just include salah in your plan then, or purposefully pick out an eating spot that has a prayer room or masjid near by and mention it after the fact. That also shows ur dedication to salah
Don’t try to test people, Allahs the one that will expose people to one another, instead of seeing how they react when it’s Salah time why don’t you say let’s go pray it’s Salah time and then see how they respond instead of
@@Rankmaster-fn3gi I think you need a good slap
Congrats on 1k 🎉
Appreciate that bro and all the support!
Valid points another point to add maybe ask how his relationship with his sister’s are
I agree , might Allah guide us all
Ameen!
This so helpful. May Allah reward u for this.
Great advice which I find very useful as wali of female relatives looking to get married, especially the strategic line of questioning about how the brother breaks for Salah during working hours.
New subscriber here! Thank you for this video-it's such an important reminder for us single sisters. I’d love to see more content like this! Absolutely love your channel-keep up the amazing work! 😊
Much love from Australia 🇦🇺
Thank you!
MashAllah Brother! May Allah bless you, your family and your work. This is amazing content. I’m happily married for 10 years alhamdulilah. I will share with others I know.
These are Facts brother.
A lot of people advise marrying someone with potential and then seeing if they will change later. I think it might work if someone is very young and both are starting out in their deen, otherwise it is a huge gamble.
I have never seen anybody advice that. More so the opposite
Nice video brother, very well spoken ❤
thank you finally someone made a video
Loving these videos ma shah Allah, Allahuma bariik.
Thanks for grat advice
Im a woman and i have 2/3 of those characteristics 😂 no wonder my marriage got delayed. Welp time to start working on myself
Good info. Watching from Los Angeles
Appreciate the support 👊
the love of my life is like this maybe I don’t love him I just love myself
sounds legit
Question, what to do if my dad isn't interested in getting me married because I have a disability and he thinks marriage is pointless? Unfortunately he has this cultural belief that disabled people don't have desires. I'm 26 and he expects me to be single forever. I'm at my wits end and I'm close to being in a haram relationship because I'm entering my late 20s now and I don't know how much longer I can remain chaist wallahi
First make continuous dua that Allah changes your father’s heart or to make a way out for you
At the same time, see if there is any older family members that can change is view and make him take you seriously
If he doesn’t change, can anybody else be your wali that is willing to stand up against your dad
A lot of the time, parents take things seriously when you actually have someone. If you do, let them know there is somebody and keep talking to them about it (as frustrating as it gets)
Wake up last third of the night and cry to Allah to make a way out for you. Don’t do this just once. Do it more and more
May Allah make your situation easy for you
@@TheMuslimMarriageCoach unfortunately the answer is no for all of those questions. He stubborn and nothing anyone says changes him. Okay I'll try but I fear the fitnah and temptation is too much if I'm not able to marry soon. Wallahi I'm not an angel
@@Fifi6799 If you find someone and they come to the door to propose will he disagree? probably not. Just date online and see how it goes, then if you find a decent person ask them to propose.
@@fictionaddiction4706 yes he would say no because he follows the caste system and anyone of a different caste or culture gets an automatic rejection, even if he's a good man it wouldn't matter
@@Fifi6799 Sister, just forget about what he thinks for the coming days and focus on asking Allah and making dua especially in the last third of night as the Coach said. Have strong faith in God and have yaqeeen. Talk to Allah in the last third time (Tahajjud) and tell him subhanah what you have told us here don't complicate it tell him you have desires tell him you're afraid to approach Haram and Ask him to make you a way out. May Allah bless you with the righteous man soon and everything single sister.
I agree with every point except 8:37 “how to spot this type of guy” I believe where he worked is irrelevant and warehouse workers should not be discriminated against. Most immigrants work these jobs when they come to the country.
I hear what you’re saying but my intention was not to discriminate warehouse workers, but use a them as an example.
It’s just an analogy for any field of work that doesn’t require much conversation, just like a scientist won’t be working with many people or certain engineers and even plumbers
But thank you for the comment
May Allah give us Mr. Oak tree, ameen
Ameen!
Can you speak on polygyny? As a divorcee with a child I’m considering now to expand my pool. I’m a single mom but I’m seeking a forever marriage inshallah. But not sure haven’t really heard nowadays successful polygyny marriages.
I’ll make a note on this InshaAllah and keep a look out for upcoming videos.
May Allah grant you a pious and beautiful spouse!
What about if the girls obsessed with the man as she thinks she will not find available good person like him 😢
@@Jamila.60that’s normal for a woman to be like that
I have a very touchy issue I'm looking for a spouse but I'm afflicted with unseen..been performing ruqya on myself for a while..I get worried that no one will accept me for this😢
If you are a good looking don't worry
Firstly may Allah make it easy for you but sadness and despair is from Shaytan
That is your current test and Allah knows that you can overcome this as he doesn’t test anybody more than they can handle
You need to write down steps and action plan how you can rectify this and also seek professional help and then place your trust in Allah
Wake up at least once every week, in the last third of the night and cry to him to help you in your situation
No doubt Allah is the best of planners
May Allah grant you a pious and beautiful spouse who will be understanding of your situation
Great vid
Can you please talk about the man that shows serious interest yet haven’t proposed yet? What does that mean?
tell him you’re looking for something serious and stop talking to him
Usually if he takes long, it says something about you and what he thinks of you
Put pressure and say either we’re getting married or not and if so, come and ask my family for my hand
Can you touch on polygyny please. 🙏🏼
Good points
As Salamu alaikum brother. Please start off your videos with a proper Salam. Much appreciated.
Wa’laikum Salaam
Mashaallah, I like your videos. Keep it up brother
Very hard to find
May Allah grant you what is best
But how would you know when you’re getting to know a guy if he is obsessive? Should I ask what are your hobbies and if his answer is nothing much assume that he could be obsessive?
Yeah so hobbies and lifestyle/daily schedule can give you an idea if he has more of a mission in his life and you don’t want him to make you the focus of his life as it can be off putting
Also how often he communicates with you (keep this halal) and how desperate he is another sign
@@TheMuslimMarriageCoachwhat do you mean by often??? If someone instantly replies???
Yeah the speed at which he replies is huge. A man on a mission with his Deen and Dunya doesn’t have all the time in the world
If he’s replying instantly, every single time,
then it could mean that this is the first time he speaking to a sister at this stage of the process, or he’s actually obsessed with you and has no other options.
I don’t think you should always say no to them. But enquire more about them if the alarm bells start ringing for Mr Obsessive
Ask him what else does he do in spare time, what other goals does he have, any side hustles, any career targets, any Islamic goals he has etc and then the follow up question to that is what do you do everyday to execute and reach your goals
If his schedule is busy, and sounds like his got e.g daily work, gym, side hustle, spend time with parents, and his Deen as his foundation (praying on time) etc then this is a good sign
Also be realistic, a young 22 yr old man won’t have all of this in check and he may easily be interested in you and we can make excuses for him
But a man above 25, who appears obsessive is a concern
@@TheMuslimMarriageCoach what about if he takes ages to reply???
I would say more than 48hrs is probably a sign that he’s not that interested, unless he explains the reason
Alhamdullilah
Do you make counselling Ather than married couples
Yes. I help and coach singles to figure out why they are struggling to get married and what type of person is best for them. And also divorcees
You can book a discovery call here:
calendly.com/themuslimmarriagecoach/30min
If someone listens to music but prays is this something to be careful of?
What if your only asking all the questions and he is not?
Also if he was married for over 10 years but had no kids in his previous marriage. Should this be a red flag??How do I ask about this?
Sounds like this person is marrying for the sake of marrying. If he's not invested from the beginning and you have to force to get his response and attention now, it'll get worse after marriage. Him not having kids from a ten year marriage could be something to consider as it's not always the women's fertility that's important but also the man's
Also you need to be frank and upfront with your questions to him
@@TheMuslimMarriageCoach like how?
@@noney4083 jazakallah great response
@@noney4083tbh sis I think it’s very very worrying if a man is not inquisitive about someone they’re considering for marriage. So many possibilities…. Is he not serious about considering you/ uninterested? Is it because he has no standards and is just looking to take any woman? Is he the kind of guy who doesn’t think/consider important factors before he makes big decisions?
What about a Man that wants the wife to contribute money while he seems to be not willing to work a full time job to be able to provide for a family. 😢
Avoid at all costs
@@TheMuslimMarriageCoach thank you. Jazakallahu kheiran
what do you think
Be his mahram😂
🙌
What happened nowadays no video more than 2 weeks I hope you okay
Alhamdulilah all good, don’t worry, more videos to come
Let me know if you have any particular topics in mind
@TheMuslimMarriageCoach ilaahay ha ku barakeeyo. I don't know if it is the right topic on the channel but is the Arange marriage could cost the or problem.
👏🏼
Please be super careful when marrying converts. Once the relationship breaks or goes through turmoil, they return to their old self 💯 that's a major red flag that he/she wasn't a sincere Muslim!
I always think converts should be careful marrying a Muslim man or woman who is not on top of their deen. Usually the Muslim man just wants a revert foreign beautiful woman that has no family to stand up for her and only accept nikkah and the Muslim woman wants a revert man where the woman thinks she can control the relationship and get away without wearing the hijab or doing her duties.
I always see the revert getting hurt in marriage but come out stronger in deen that their non revert spouse
Cover yourself first and then come and give advice
The same can be said about marrying born Muslims and it’s not fair to label all reverts like this
But I appreciate that you may have gone through a difficult experience
As a revert, I think this is quite unfair to say sister. This could be the case with the ones that convert to Islam for the wrong reason (ie. just so they could marry someone) but for most reverts, that is not the case
What if a man wants the wife to work and do 50/50 on finance, but not helping in house chores
he's not a man yet
then the guy wants a man and woman at the same time. ridiculous
As a woman you can tell him to help out at home. Ignore the other 2 stupid comments under here.
In the western world, cost if living is high, so if a man can't pay for all the bills it doesn't make him less if a man. But it would make him less if a man if he doesn't even help you out at home at all.
If he’s made you work, or put you in a position that you have to work, then he has to help out more than usual around the home
Men that demand their wife to work a full time job be a mother and a wife must go work 2 or 3 jobs then we are equal. Please tell him stop being lazy and man up. HE must find a way to make extra income and work much more hours and days ??? Most men are off on weekends and never help or are miserable and start fights when you ask them to help you on weekends on their day off ?? Wealthy men work 20 hours sleep 4 hours no time for lazy men. Yes you can work if you want to and contribute but trust me it always fails miserably when roles are confused.
More reason not to marry
For me
More reason for you to fix what needs to be addressed 👊
May Allah for give me .nowadays the woman is a mahram😂❤
😅
I think another one is if he looks into the viewfinder and not directly at the camera.
Lol, jk. But yeah so many good points. Especially the obsessive one. I think when your frontal lobe develops usually around 25 or so, but can be longer, you start to learn not to be a people pleaser. Just please look into the camera on your next videos so your audience is engaged more.
😂😂
What about if the girls obsessed with the man as she getting older and wants harder to get married and she thinks she will not find available good person like him 🥲
Pray istikhara
Most of the time, a girl being obsessed does not bother a man so much as long as he likes her. If anything it increases his love for her and wanting to get married
However, you never want to go over board. Find a balance
You can be obsessed about him deep down and think about him but don’t say or show too much of it as it could strike in his mind, why is she so desperate? Is she hiding something etc