Married for 2 years and they already have 2 kids. Do you know how hard that is? Not only did they not adjust to marriage but they have 2 kids within that time, I'm sorry but men now days like to blame the women on everything instead of trying to support. He is not having mercy for her. Not all women can handle all that. She cooked most of the times before kids. she obviously is struggling since having kids. Not to mention her mental health. Everyone has a way of coping. Maybe this is the only way for her to stay sane. I'm a stay at home mom with 2 under 2. it's Hard! I've worked before, honestly working is easier. He should try helping her instead of judging. Me personally I make home cooked meals 80% of the time. when I get overwhelmed either my husband cooks or we order in. A mom's job never ends its 24/7. My kids keep me up at night but I I still need to function during the day. I have no family support. it's only me and my husband. I get things done but according to my husband I "complain" a lot. because it's HARD. MEN DON"T UNDERSTAND. DONT EVER COMPARE YOUR WIVES TO YOUR MOTHERS. A lot of our moms health deteriorated because of tending to her family and not having any times to themselves. Do men want that for their wives? The prophet Mohamed used to help his wives, he showed love and mercy.
i hope some men see this and consider the difficulty and challenges of working in the house …we should be like a team not against each other Men can’t provide the same way as before and Women can’t do everything at home like before and it’s okay to adjust to it .🤍help your spouse don’t judge until you did it in both cases
I have to agree. Once I no longer had two under two, it got WAYYYY easier. My husband and I were already married for five years so I did have time to build my cooking skills Alhamdolillah, but tbh...we ate out A LOT when we had two under two. My kids are slightly bigger toddlers now and I definitely notice that I have way more time to do my housework and cooking slightly more complex meals other than basic food for survival lol. Also, maybe this woman can make good use of a slow cooker or instant pot. That really saved our budget/ eating out on the hardest days. Also, just outright asking hubby to cook on some days so that you can cook on other days and then really have time to manage the cleaning/ baby care. It is really teamwork that got us through it, especially in the 2 under 2 phase. It's VERY difficult and unlike any other time in life, and is nothing like having a bigger age gap between the two kids.
Every adult, whether male or female, must need to learn how to cook and clean. Cooking and cleaning are not below anybody. It's a life skill, and one can't call themselves independent adult if they can not feed them selves with proper nutritional food. Food is medicine, and because people are fulling themselves with junks, they are becoming increasingly unhealthy.
Sometimes cooking everyday can be difficult, for instance during pregnancy /post partum. I would recommend batch cooking once or twice a week. Get you meats and fish etc cooked ready in the fridge and freezer. You can quickly make the accompanying carbs (rice, pasta etc). Also if you can invest in products that will make cooking easier for instance a rice cooker, pressure pots, chopping gadgets.
Mealprep if your busy! Add cooking sauces to different types of meat/chicken/fish/mine and different type of veg into ziplock bags once a week and freeze. Than roast or slow cook. A life changer. May Allah ease our affairs.
Comparing wifes to your mom is so easy but people dont know the amount of maturity mothers have gained over the years they did not start their marriage with all the wisdom they have I seen my mom litterally evolve constantly as a woman her food get better and better
Man she gave u 2 kids within two years of marriage!! N ur complaining about ordering some food for her subhanallah ! Brother I think u lack sympathy tbh do I know how crazy n difficult is that! She basically had no rest no honey moon phase since she got married to u ,be more patient n take initiative if u like home cooked meals n start cocking for ur family n probably she Will join u preparing
It's not "some food" it's an addiction. It is not healthy at all to feed your kids takeout daily for a year let alone where that money could be spent usefully unless he's earning a crazy amount. I do agree he should help her in finding a solution and not put blame on her.
May Allah make it easy for that family and also to us who hvnt found families yet...Ameen.runniny away from reality is also bad but rather to find a solution for the sake of the souls Allah has gifted u with..
Monthly Bulk Grocery shopping at costco for essentials (veggies meat sigar rice patatos noodles ect) is definitely a thing most fathers do and it will definitely help take off a huge load and she will always have the essentials to do it
I had two kids under two within the fisrt two years of my marriage and i understand how hard it is to maintain and be on top everything. But i usually cooked every other day, i cooked enough food to last us two days so that i dont have to cook everyday. Beacuse you just dont have enough time especially if you have difficult children. Some things need to take a back bench and you have to prioritise your mental health. Too many take aways are not healthy for you or for your wallet. May be he can help with the cooking on his days off and if he cant cook, look after the kids while she cooks. May Allah make it easy for all of us.
Whilst I understand it’s a hard time for sis, this is too much. I understand it can be hard with young kids but for me at least it only gets harder as they get older. You can’t rely on takeouts you’ll be buying all 3 meals??? What I did.. Get you a notebook sis, write all your recipes down for breakfast lunch and dinner, get inspo online, cookbooks, mum, mum in law etc. start with easy quick meals make a little extra to carry you over for the next day. Then make another meal the day after and so on. By the weekend you probably won’t even have to cook there will be so much left over! I’ve done this with a heart problem! It was a struggle sometimes but I fresh meals for my family and it’s easy when you get the hang of making the meals. You’ll start to enjoy it. When you truly burn out or need takeout then get it no problem!
Salaam Alakuim Brother, just wanted to say that this has become issue within our community. What has happened is that the mother has sheltered her daughter and has not been strict in teaching her daughter domestic duties. We grew up in the 80s and by the time we were 14 we knew how to cook clean and manage a home. This is because our mothers made sure and focused on is to know how to these chores. By the time we got married in our 20s we cooked and cleaned and made lunch boxes for our husbands as we appreciated them working for the family. nowadays, these young women are getting married are not valuing their home and husband. Every girl should know how to cook and it’s our responsibility to teach our daughters.
it’s hard to manage being a new mom and ordering is easy but it’s not healthy for the body or mental i would recommend try meal prepping together on the weekend and having this discussion with her directly being vulnerable. it’s a waste of money to be ordering out and not to mention when the kids get to the age of eating they need nutrition dense foods. may allah make it easy for them!
When a husband complains about how they work, they forget that their work day has set hours, set job duties, two days off Holiday, sick pay, they still get to enjoy a social life. Grow up, cook and clean up after your selfs or hire someone to meet your unrealistic expectations if you're doing so much at your job.
I hear you, but in this case, let’s remember, they agreed that was the set up they were gonna have If you’re speaking generally, then there’s not much for me to say
A relationship is a team work you can’t blame him for complaining if he is providing and working she should help in the house chores to balance the dynamics besides cooking aint as tiring as work so I don’t know why these women suddenly make it a big deal.
Communication is the key to any relationship. You must confront the issue and speak about this as it will drag on. Furthermore, remove the access of the debit card so that she stops ordering. These type of girls that don’t like cooking are the ones that the Hoyo’s had challenges in teaching them, always refusing to learn. Absolutely love your videos as these are issues that is not being talked about.
It’s so easy to become lazy and sometimes hard to get out of it. Honestly if he told her he gets food from his mom’s place maybe she’ll care more. Also if she feels overwhelmed he could help a little and if she’s still complaining he married a lazy one
Cooking is a basic life skill that everyone should learn, there will be times when your spouse could get ill or has to attend to sick children or even just simply tired. Takes 30 mins max depending on what you're cooking. I taught my 13yo son (who is on the autistic spectrum) how to cook the only meal he eats (makerel sauce and pasta) 20 minutes and he feels super proud afterwards lol teach them from young i'd say to avoid disappointment.
Cooking takes if your skilled 20 minutes max, if someone struggles cooking or cant cook best is to go back drawing board and learn at moms. I as man learnt cooking from my mom i personally used to help her and she never asked for help. I did that so she can rest when she feels tired sometimes. Another thing is people see cooking diffrently some as a chore and that is not good you should love cooking. Also 2 years 2 kids bro kiss her on forhead and start cooking yourself, her stomach have been cooking a long stew 🤣🤣😂
waow so nice to hear you were caring for your mom in that way when she was tired that is love right there to allow her to be humain , it gives hope so impressive from a men
I would like to share my perspective altough i do cook and im not married (yet, if ever) Life is challenging now a days and some women barely get proper sleep , which is imporant to heal, to look good, to feel energized Also if you feel at peace and happy, your children will feel that too which contributes to peace within the home. The sanity of the woman is important and should be a priority. Now not cooking at all is too much maybe but taking things easy when you can...do it and a good husband cares for your wellbeing Also if a husband can,spoil her with a beautiful jewel or money. Make her feel special and let her relax You will see... that she sees, and she will do the extra mile for you
@@UmmZakareey4 that she is ordering food on uber eats because she is overwhelmed and tired and that the husband has a play in this🙄🥱😴 You are rude wew!
@@JannatHerzallah no matter how my husband treats me, I’m still gonna get up and feed my children. I’m sure she has family nearby, call over reinforcements.
@@UmmZakareey4 card or no card she is exhausted and most men are the reason for that. But i already know that you like to judge and feel that you are the most responsible person on earth. I feel you are that typical mother that thinks she is more holy than her neighbours already and likes to sound smart on the internet
It is concerning to see a growing trend of young women aged 23-45 relying solely on Uber Eats for their meals. It is disappointing to witness this lack of cooking skills and responsibility in some communities. Many mothers are failing to teach their daughters essential life skills such as cooking, leading to a crisis. Some young women express their resentment towards cooking, citing overwhelming household responsibilities. While this situation is concerning, it is important to understand the underlying reasons behind their reluctance to take on chores. For the men, get cook books and learn together, make a wekly plan and start batch cooking and put in fridge. We are all juggling life so food shouldn't be an issue as its essential. And for the mother back off dont feed your son as he is married and need to deal with his home issues. Maybe she found out and she doesn't feel appreciated as you eat at your mother's.
💯 Some mothers have told me that they feel like that if they teach their daughters how to cook, their role in the household will become negligible as they age and so they still want to feel valued and wanted and as the kids marry and have their own children, they can still come back to grandmothers place and get a cooked meals and family time etc This is a point that is cited by many sisters who don’t know how to cook
Some tips... Does the mum suffer from post natal depression, are they any factors why she feels stressed to cook like behaviour special needs in the children, does the mum have executive functioning skills difficulties like adhd that she struggles with multi tasking the kids and cooking? How about helping her Organise herself and find a routine with occupying the kids whiost cooking and cleaning the kitchen after.
To be honest some of us just hate cooking …. 240 Uber eats in a year is actually an improvement for someone like me 😁 Mostly healthy food though . Id suggest a cook once a week if they can afford it but just realised we are talking about the UK.
A lot of women are complaining that men don't have mercy. What mercy are you talking about. What is your role as a housewife especially you are not working.
It’s crazy, my mothers and aunts struggled way more than modern day women yet they took care of their families. Life is much more easier now thanks to technology.
Cooking literally takes 30 minutes and this is coming from a man who cooks for himself. The excuse needs to stop. Just take a Quick Look at her screen time and I promise it’ll show that she’s been using that phone for 8+ hours. Plan your day ahead of time and you’ll see how much more productive you can be
Your right akh, that’s the simple answer in this particular case, but some people may benefit from a holistic point of view. Appreciate the comment though
Married for 2 years and they already have 2 kids. Do you know how hard that is? Not only did they not adjust to marriage but they have 2 kids within that time, I'm sorry but men now days like to blame the women on everything instead of trying to support. He is not having mercy for her. Not all women can handle all that. She cooked most of the times before kids. she obviously is struggling since having kids. Not to mention her mental health. Everyone has a way of coping. Maybe this is the only way for her to stay sane.
I'm a stay at home mom with 2 under 2. it's Hard! I've worked before, honestly working is easier. He should try helping her instead of judging. Me personally I make home cooked meals 80% of the time. when I get overwhelmed either my husband cooks or we order in. A mom's job never ends its 24/7. My kids keep me up at night but I I still need to function during the day. I have no family support. it's only me and my husband. I get things done but according to my husband I "complain" a lot. because it's HARD.
MEN DON"T UNDERSTAND. DONT EVER COMPARE YOUR WIVES TO YOUR MOTHERS. A lot of our moms health deteriorated because of tending to her family and not having any times to themselves. Do men want that for their wives? The prophet Mohamed used to help his wives, he showed love and mercy.
Well said sister 👏👏
Men have no mercy.
i hope some men see this and consider the difficulty and challenges of working in the house …we should be like a team not against each other Men can’t provide the same way as before and Women can’t do everything at home like before and it’s okay to adjust to it .🤍help your spouse don’t judge until you did it in both cases
I have to agree. Once I no longer had two under two, it got WAYYYY easier. My husband and I were already married for five years so I did have time to build my cooking skills Alhamdolillah, but tbh...we ate out A LOT when we had two under two. My kids are slightly bigger toddlers now and I definitely notice that I have way more time to do my housework and cooking slightly more complex meals other than basic food for survival lol. Also, maybe this woman can make good use of a slow cooker or instant pot. That really saved our budget/ eating out on the hardest days. Also, just outright asking hubby to cook on some days so that you can cook on other days and then really have time to manage the cleaning/ baby care. It is really teamwork that got us through it, especially in the 2 under 2 phase. It's VERY difficult and unlike any other time in life, and is nothing like having a bigger age gap between the two kids.
Well said 🙌🏾
Every adult, whether male or female, must need to learn how to cook and clean. Cooking and cleaning are not below anybody. It's a life skill, and one can't call themselves independent adult if they can not feed them selves with proper nutritional food. Food is medicine, and because people are fulling themselves with junks, they are becoming increasingly unhealthy.
Gratitude for what Allah has blessed you with is the cure to grief over what Allah has not blessed you with.
Sometimes cooking everyday can be difficult, for instance during pregnancy /post partum. I would recommend batch cooking once or twice a week. Get you meats and fish etc cooked ready in the fridge and freezer. You can quickly make the accompanying carbs (rice, pasta etc).
Also if you can invest in products that will make cooking easier for instance a rice cooker, pressure pots, chopping gadgets.
MERCY is what men need more. Without mercy no good marriage
Mealprep if your busy! Add cooking sauces to different types of meat/chicken/fish/mine and different type of veg into ziplock bags once a week and freeze. Than roast or slow cook. A life changer. May Allah ease our affairs.
Ameen!
Comparing wifes to your mom is so easy but people dont know the amount of maturity mothers have gained over the years they did not start their marriage with all the wisdom they have I seen my mom litterally evolve constantly as a woman her food get better and better
ALSO when was the last time you gave her a HUG
Man she gave u 2 kids within two years of marriage!! N ur complaining about ordering some food for her subhanallah ! Brother I think u lack sympathy tbh do I know how crazy n difficult is that! She basically had no rest no honey moon phase since she got married to u ,be more patient n take initiative if u like home cooked meals n start cocking for ur family n probably she Will join u preparing
It's not "some food" it's an addiction.
It is not healthy at all to feed your kids takeout daily for a year let alone where that money could be spent usefully unless he's earning a crazy amount.
I do agree he should help her in finding a solution and not put blame on her.
That's probably around 7000 to 10,000 pounds on Uber eats in the year. Quite Shocking honestly
May Allah make it easy for that family and also to us who hvnt found families yet...Ameen.runniny away from reality is also bad but rather to find a solution for the sake of the souls Allah has gifted u with..
Monthly Bulk Grocery shopping at costco for essentials (veggies meat sigar rice patatos noodles ect) is definitely a thing most fathers do and it will definitely help take off a huge load and she will always have the essentials to do it
I had two kids under two within the fisrt two years of my marriage and i understand how hard it is to maintain and be on top everything. But i usually cooked every other day, i cooked enough food to last us two days so that i dont have to cook everyday. Beacuse you just dont have enough time especially if you have difficult children. Some things need to take a back bench and you have to prioritise your mental health. Too many take aways are not healthy for you or for your wallet. May be he can help with the cooking on his days off and if he cant cook, look after the kids while she cooks. May Allah make it easy for all of us.
Ameen!
Whilst I understand it’s a hard time for sis, this is too much. I understand it can be hard with young kids but for me at least it only gets harder as they get older. You can’t rely on takeouts you’ll be buying all 3 meals??? What I did.. Get you a notebook sis, write all your recipes down for breakfast lunch and dinner, get inspo online, cookbooks, mum, mum in law etc. start with easy quick meals make a little extra to carry you over for the next day. Then make another meal the day after and so on. By the weekend you probably won’t even have to cook there will be so much left over! I’ve done this with a heart problem! It was a struggle sometimes but I fresh meals for my family and it’s easy when you get the hang of making the meals. You’ll start to enjoy it. When you truly burn out or need takeout then get it no problem!
🔥
Salaam Alakuim Brother, just wanted to say that this has become issue within our community. What has happened is that the mother has sheltered her daughter and has not been strict in teaching her daughter domestic duties. We grew up in the 80s and by the time we were 14 we knew how to cook clean and manage a home. This is because our mothers made sure and focused on is to know how to these chores. By the time we got married in our 20s we cooked and cleaned and made lunch boxes for our husbands as we appreciated them working for the family. nowadays, these young women are getting married are not valuing their home and husband. Every girl should know how to cook and it’s our responsibility to teach our daughters.
This is facts. Thank you for sharing
it’s hard to manage being a new mom and ordering is easy but it’s not healthy for the body or mental i would recommend try meal prepping together on the weekend and having this discussion with her directly being vulnerable. it’s a waste of money to be ordering out and not to mention when the kids get to the age of eating they need nutrition dense foods. may allah make it easy for them!
When a husband complains about how they work, they forget that their work day has set hours, set job duties, two days off Holiday, sick pay, they still get to enjoy a social life. Grow up, cook and clean up after your selfs or hire someone to meet your unrealistic expectations if you're doing so much at your job.
I hear you, but in this case, let’s remember, they agreed that was the set up they were gonna have
If you’re speaking generally, then there’s not much for me to say
A relationship is a team work you can’t blame him for complaining if he is providing and working she should help in the house chores to balance the dynamics besides cooking aint as tiring as work so I don’t know why these women suddenly make it a big deal.
Communication is the key to any relationship. You must confront the issue and speak about this as it will drag on. Furthermore, remove the access of the debit card so that she stops ordering. These type of girls that don’t like cooking are the ones that the Hoyo’s had challenges in teaching them, always refusing to learn. Absolutely love your videos as these are issues that is not being talked about.
Keep dropping knowledge brother
It’s so easy to become lazy and sometimes hard to get out of it. Honestly if he told her he gets food from his mom’s place maybe she’ll care more. Also if she feels overwhelmed he could help a little and if she’s still complaining he married a lazy one
Yeah right
Cooking is a basic life skill that everyone should learn, there will be times when your spouse could get ill or has to attend to sick children or even just simply tired. Takes 30 mins max depending on what you're cooking. I taught my 13yo son (who is on the autistic spectrum) how to cook the only meal he eats (makerel sauce and pasta) 20 minutes and he feels super proud afterwards lol teach them from young i'd say to avoid disappointment.
I live alone.. I order a lot of healthy ishhh stuff , I do make stuff at home
What’s your view on prenup ?
Cooking takes if your skilled 20 minutes max, if someone struggles cooking or cant cook best is to go back drawing board and learn at moms. I as man learnt cooking from my mom i personally used to help her and she never asked for help. I did that so she can rest when she feels tired sometimes. Another thing is people see cooking diffrently some as a chore and that is not good you should love cooking. Also 2 years 2 kids bro kiss her on forhead and start cooking yourself, her stomach have been cooking a long stew 🤣🤣😂
😂😂
waow so nice to hear you were caring for your mom in that way when she was tired that is love right there to allow her to be humain , it gives hope so impressive from a men
I would like to share my perspective altough i do cook and im not married (yet, if ever)
Life is challenging now a days and some women barely get proper sleep , which is imporant to heal, to look good, to feel energized
Also if you feel at peace and happy, your children will feel that too which contributes to peace within the home.
The sanity of the woman is important and should be a priority.
Now not cooking at all is too much maybe but taking things easy when you can...do it and a good husband cares for your wellbeing
Also if a husband can,spoil her with a beautiful jewel or money. Make her feel special and let her relax
You will see... that she sees, and she will do the extra mile for you
Thank you for sharing
Your comment is pointless. The woman is at home with her children… what does the husbands actions or gestures have to do with feeding your children?
@@UmmZakareey4 that she is ordering food on uber eats because she is overwhelmed and tired and that the husband has a play in this🙄🥱😴 You are rude wew!
@@JannatHerzallah no matter how my husband treats me, I’m still gonna get up and feed my children. I’m sure she has family nearby, call over reinforcements.
@@UmmZakareey4 yeah i am the same but all women are you or what? All women can handle hardship correctly. All women are heaven sent like you ?
She doesn’t work so where does she get the money to order? Take away the access to a card and a mother will make sure her kids eat and she will cook.
@@UmmZakareey4 card or no card she is exhausted and most men are the reason for that. But i already know that you like to judge and feel that you are the most responsible person on earth. I feel you are that typical mother that thinks she is more holy than her neighbours already and likes to sound smart on the internet
It’s a fair point
Man should learn to cook too and not be dependent
It is concerning to see a growing trend of young women aged 23-45 relying solely on Uber Eats for their meals. It is disappointing to witness this lack of cooking skills and responsibility in some communities. Many mothers are failing to teach their daughters essential life skills such as cooking, leading to a crisis. Some young women express their resentment towards cooking, citing overwhelming household responsibilities. While this situation is concerning, it is important to understand the underlying reasons behind their reluctance to take on chores. For the men, get cook books and learn together, make a wekly plan and start batch cooking and put in fridge. We are all juggling life so food shouldn't be an issue as its essential. And for the mother back off dont feed your son as he is married and need to deal with his home issues. Maybe she found out and she doesn't feel appreciated as you eat at your mother's.
💯
Some mothers have told me that they feel like that if they teach their daughters how to cook, their role in the household will become negligible as they age and so they still want to feel valued and wanted and as the kids marry and have their own children, they can still come back to grandmothers place and get a cooked meals and family time etc
This is a point that is cited by many sisters who don’t know how to cook
@@TheMuslimMarriageCoachsorry to say but those mothers show a bit of narcissistic traits 😢 may allah guide us all.
Ameen
@@TheMuslimMarriageCoachselfish mothers ,yes
Some tips...
Does the mum suffer from post natal depression, are they any factors why she feels stressed to cook like behaviour special needs in the children, does the mum have executive functioning skills difficulties like adhd that she struggles with multi tasking the kids and cooking?
How about helping her
Organise herself and find a routine with occupying the kids whiost cooking and cleaning the kitchen after.
Great tips. Thank you for sharing
To be honest some of us just hate cooking …. 240 Uber eats in a year is actually an improvement for someone like me 😁 Mostly healthy food though . Id suggest a cook once a week if they can afford it but just realised we are talking about the UK.
Yeah cooking is not for everyone
As long as a couple are happy with the set up they have chosen, then it’s all good. The problem starts when a discussion hasn’t taken place
A lot of women are complaining that men don't have mercy. What mercy are you talking about. What is your role as a housewife especially you are not working.
It’s crazy, my mothers and aunts struggled way more than modern day women yet they took care of their families. Life is much more easier now thanks to technology.
💯💯💯💯
Cooking literally takes 30 minutes and this is coming from a man who cooks for himself. The excuse needs to stop. Just take a Quick Look at her screen time and I promise it’ll show that she’s been using that phone for 8+ hours.
Plan your day ahead of time and you’ll see how much more productive you can be
Definitely a skill that can be learnt
Lol, do you also look after 2 young kids you're looking after all day.
You're so delusional to even compare your situation to her.
💯
U talk a lot ish ahki,, its her role to cook end of
Your right akh, that’s the simple answer in this particular case, but some people may benefit from a holistic point of view. Appreciate the comment though
@@TheMuslimMarriageCoach respect bro