Dr Gary.. my dad was a counselor.. he called it “being comfortable with your own company” if you are comfortable with yourself when no on is around.. you are never lonely.
Yes, and you never know what somebody may be going through, or has gone through. Kindness doesn't cost a dime, and yet can mean the world to someone who is lonely or beaten-down and hurting!! Please keep this in mind at all times.
@Scott Ferguson Me too. You're right; it really is hell. If u would like to talk, write back here and I will put my contact info here and then delete it. I'd be happy to be your friend. But if u don't feel comfortable doing that, I completely understand and best wishes to u. I've never done this before, but what the hell, haha. Feel like I'm already there anyway ;)
I can relate to this.i don't feel comfortable of having lots of fakes around .I am not lucky to have a real friend in a true sense of the word everyone is busy with their own priorities.
Yes... I kew someone need someone..in Somewhere parte in this word... I think wee must make un whatuup list group to the same situations.. Wee no lonely anymore😊
Agree loneliness is a killer. It depends how long scenarios go on for I handled for the first year but when it's on and on, and when your ill and alone it's horrible.All what he said I have done but you can only do that for so long
Rosa Colon the only thing worse than being alone is wishing you were , my mama used to say that to me a lot. Makes a ton of sense to me. I enjoy my own company. 😄 im a great conversationalist, just ask my birds,dogs and cats 🤣😂
I do the same. I allow 3 attempts/calls, spaced week apart. If no return call.. I gently close that door. And mentally wish them well..and life goes on. I look for light fussy things to do to fill in space..and it's ok. Organize books..plants for patio..light simple things. Treat myself to a tea and scone on patio..enjoying the moment.
I decided to be alone than to be surrounded by family and relatives who prefer money over quality relationships. I have also lost friends over the years because I realized that most of them just wanted me as their emotional trash bin. I will never allow people to use me again.
@Lee Francis Prince of hearts?! More important when you make someone is a lover and the friend or soulmate in same time♡.. Who means the family for you. Even you crossed the 70 or 80 of age, there is who loves you without goal except your existance in his life as a lover♡. God bless u
@Lee Francis Very nice dear, even 70 years old it is no matter but the important there is some lover give you the passtions and caring that come from the honest pure Love♡ ... There is older in young heart and reverse. God protect u
Ive been a loner for the most of my life but ive never been more alone and angry since these 1.5yrs. Angry at people who i felt have shunned me as a person. The anger and depression had gotten so bad that it was becoming potentially hazardous to my health. Then memory stepped in by instinct and i realized that ive been the author of all my misery and have been a person who had much to be ashamed of. That i only had myself to blame for all of this. I suddenly felt better as realized that i couldn't really blame anyone else and that the people i was angry at had good reason for their attitudes towards me. Im now more calm and able to move on and focus on more important things.
Hi. I am an advocate of mental health and an Admin of 24/7 ; Group Chat Support PH. Part of our mission is to reach out to people in social media who may need help or can support others in battling depression, anxiety and other mental disorders. If you OR anyone you know is suffering from these, or if you would like to volunteer to help others, I am inviting you to join our group chat (GC). Our chatroom is a refuge to engage, support and interact between members (all Pinoy) both sufferers and advocates. We are here to listen. Let me know if you are interested. Thank you.
Dear liza.i agree with you hun.it effects heart soul body and mind.can actually bring poor health. Guess its ok for those who dont mind being alone.when looked upon adam.he said it is not good that man should be alone.i will make for him a helpmeet.adam would have died of loneliness. An i agree.god bless you.desire your prayers.hun
I lost my parents 3 years ago and my life has never been the same. I used to talk to them every day and now I have no one. Brothers and sisters are not as loving..I do have a dog who loves me and I will be rescuing another one. They are my family..forget about friends. They are not real. The most difficult part is during the holidays..when I walk my dog and hear people in the backyard laughing and hanging out or in restaurants I feel really bad for myself. I miss my parents a lot but they are not coming back. Can't replace them or fill the gap.
This is good advice, but all the positive thoughts in the world will not help a person who is isolated by structural factors, such as being disabled, not having transport, getting older and not having family or social support. Online social media does not replace face to face contact. If you're unable to go out into the world because of practical reasons, the world will not come to you.
Mel Rose me 2 I’m a female. I don’t like to do with most people do I’m kind of eccentric I’m attractive I understand I’m just strikingly beautiful but I just don’t fit in I’m not sure I feel bad about that now in life
Dave Saenz i dont fit into to peoples box.. Im true to myself and refuse to be who they want me to be. They dont like me as i am. But i accept them as they are. Its a bit hurtful.
@@marvelouslymelrose3518 I am the same way Mel. I refuse to be like everyone else, not against them, but to stick to my beliefs. I was wired different, but to me it makes perfect sense. We are all different for a reason. Yet I don't feel alone anymore. I've come to terms that I will never be like others and that is okay. I want to be me. However, I try my very best to be as friendly as possible and respect others for who they are. I used to have depression and I have overcome this illness on my own. You're not alone, and if you are be okay with it.
Elliot, you are so right. I am my own best friend and my best friend is always with me. When I die, I won't be alone, my best friend will be there with me, holding me in a warm hug.
I am alone, and lonely. This is not always a choice. Depression has taken over my life. Both parents have died. No siblings. Parents were only kids too, so no uncles, aunts, or cousins. Family is non-existent! I’m 50 and in this world by myself. I was drugged and raped 7 years ago. I go for days where I don’t see or speak to people. Some days, I just don’t feel good, and there is nobody who cares or to help me. I can’t just say....I’m not going to be lonely...and poof, I’m not alone or lonely. The world is set up to remind you that we should be in pairs. Restaurants , vacations, playing a game, weddings, cooking, etc...all these things remind us we should have a partner. You know how lonely and embarrassing it is to take a vacation in a foreign country and go to a restaurant and ask for a table for 1 ? You see families and friends together having fun, and I am alone.... BTW it doesn’t make anything better if you are HIV positive like me. Talk about rejection.....
I knew a lot of people from work and we used to hang out, but many times I just wanted to be alone. I go out by myself and I still do. I used to be a server and had customers come in by themselves all the time. I used to talk to them and introduce others to them. Makes going out by yourself fun.
I hear you L. Watson I'm 65 now, retired, most friends have died, moved or are no longer close. PTSD, lifelong depression, in and out of therapy, have a sister 2000 miles away and I won't move there (too cold, snow)I'm not HIV positive but I lost many friends to AIDS, it's a vicous battle most days. Anyway I know and we are better then we think. We are survivors!
God Bless u..u sound like a wonderful person..Join a gym..I find going to my gym helps a lot..spending some time around others, take work out classes is great..I love keeping my self in shape n strong..Sending u a big hug..
Dominique Parekh I don’t think you don’t get what being alone or lonely is. “I must look for them....no-one else will be interested”. SERIOUSLY? Do you know of some magical place where lonely people hang out? I sure as hell don’t, and if you say a bar, I swear.....! I guess I’ll just hang out on the street corner with a sign saying Dominique Parekh says to look for lonely people here. Pull over if you are lonely too.
:D Yes but you will be a "pain in the ass" yourself with that negative and antisocial worldviev. And hence you will cry sometimes while attempting to sleep at night. While there is propably a lot to love about you nobody will see it. But truly, being social means to suffer from time to time, sadly this world will never be perfect. and this is what you are right about. Now lets try not to ruin our days with aversion :D
This is spot on. We are not lonely when we stop wanting something else! Then we take pleasure, not in other things, but in our selves. We spent the first 9 months of being Alive, within our mother’s womb. We were perfectly happy, be cause then we did not hanker after others things, Keep spreadinG the message. This is when we are closest to God! “Be still and know that I am God” Psalms 46:10.
Online Real Estate Today I am so sorry to hear about your wife and friend; the Bible says "be still and know that I am God" the Bible also says "come to me those who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest".
Jefferyoga Jefferyoga do not be afraid; Jesus Christ is with you, he loves you and he has a plan for your life; the Bible says in Romans 10:9 "that if you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus died and God hath raised him from the dead then you shall be saved:, do you want to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour?
Im alone but not lonely, I used to chat my children who are gar away, goes to seashore almost everyday by walking 25 mins.from home, tend my garden cooked my favorite foods and always gives thanks to the Lord that im still alive. Im 73 yrs young now. I feel young age is just a number.
Joyce Salocha - yes, I've got a brain injury and really LOVE chatting and human contact but since my injuries I get totally exhausted talking and trying to understand people talking to me, sometimes I cry after and when really bad I just lie still because my brain feels wiped. Also outside, cafés, beaches = everywhere I hurt LOADS, constant pain, can't EVER get comfy plus everywhere's noisy and to me too many strong smells because I've become extra-sensitive to all this, BAM one day = everything changed. Trouble is I look quite 'normal' (!) and people think I'm lying or exaggerating, to confuse them and me MORE = I vary: some days I am far better than others, it also depends how I've slept coz that's AWFUL (waking so often and panicking in night) then when I DO sleep = terrible nightmares from the mega stresses I'm being forced to try deal with and live with. I know I'm lucky I can walk (but it hurts lots, I use a bicycle when I can) and can cook (though hard) and drive = yes I can drive but fear I'm losing that skill = so scary. But I try to do my art and a lot of the time it takres my mind off some awful stuff but really need a solution for my very injured neck/lumbar+ but 'not allowed' = no help given = why? I'm always told there are people worse than me and more needy than me and it's true, LOADS of us need help, an adapted place to live and so on and if done right we could help each other with what we each CAN do. But too late for lots of us (and me): the neglect, misdiagnosis, mistreatment, BAD chiropracters and 2 osteopaths (who injured me where i wasn't injured before), falling down stairs TWICE & more bad permanent injuries etc. have caused extra permanent injuries and far worse pain = my life far harder than it could've been if had got right help at start. Hoping this'll change in time for others...
The real problem is families are not close anymore. They have no time for their siblings, parents and grandparents. If you have something they want , here they all come. They say we all have guardian angels if true we are not alone.
Dr. Gary, if no one has said this to you lately, I want to tell you that I deeply appreciate your videos. Your words have had such a profound and positive impact in my life and I am so thankful. I just want to say thank you.
There are so many people around the world who are lonely who have been hurt by their own family friends and they don't trust nobody ....nobody deserves to be lonely but its better to be alone than in a bad company in today's world it's hard to find a true friends and partner for life times have changed unfortunately ...instead if building bridges people are building walls between them its sad I feel so sorry for anyone that's alone in this world with nobody most of them they loose confidence and their own idententy ...you could be married and still feel alone or above all you could be in circle of friends and still feel alone .....that's even worse
Yes you would think it would be easy to find a lonely heart to match yours.and begin your healing together. But know one admits being lonely in public.god bless you.
Yes you would think it would be easy to find a lonely heart to match yours.and begin your healing together. But know one admits being lonely in public.god bless you.
Not all my friendships are deep. Some I just go bowling with. Some prefer the golf course. Looking for a walking buddy right now. One person can't always be everything, but a lot of ppl may share at least one common interest.
My Wife left me for another Man. I thought it was my fault. My Family told me I worked too much and that it's my fault. I have no contact to my Family. They dont call and dont visit me. My Ex-Wife Always wanted more and more Things, and I worked so much to get her all this. Now I live alone. I learned from all this, that God gives you whats good for you and takes away whats bad. I dont hate her. After all this I feel freedom. It took a while to recognize that in my realtionship I was always alone. Now I got more time for me, and who knows, maybe there is Somebody waiting for me. Whatever happens, happens. I keep going forward. I enjoy the little Things in Life.
Der Nutzer sorry to hear that . She should of tell you that she was feeling lonely and you could of do something about it I don’t think it was your fault.
I live in an apartment complex where nobody speaks to anybody else and I have tried saying hello too many people who don't even look up. I am also medically and physically handicapped and have no car due to $943 on SSDI and my mother pays the bulk of my rent as it was in my father's will and now she's going to stop after September and myself and my cat will end up on the street in a manual wheelchair I can walk but not very far. And I cannot push a manual wheelchair due to nerve damage from horrible B12 deficiency. So you tell me how to meet people. I am alone but I'm not lonely although it would be nice to have some friends. People don't want to be my friend once they find out how very intelligent I am and they say you're too smart for me I can't be your friend! Well you know I went to Harvard and that's just the way it is it doesn't mean that I look for people with super intelligence it means that I look for people with super hearts if you have a good heart then I have no problem being friends. I am a very good friend but I have not been able to find another very good friend. I was abused from the age of 4 until today my mother my brother several husbands several boyfriends bullied in school for 9 years going home bloody everyday. I also did many wonderful things during that time but I have no way of leaving my front door until I get a new caregiver which could be next week or maybe not. I can't get her can get me out of the house and I am extremely nice to people even in Walmart if they say excuse me or something to me because I'm on the ride and got or sometimes I'll go around the corner and see the same Man 3 times in a row and say we have to stop meeting this way with a chuckle. I am very social and when I lived in the UK they said I was the life and soul of the party which means that you are fun funny good to be around that you can spark up anything even just having coffee with somebody.
I'm sorry you feel lonely. Have you tried rescuing a dog? They are wonderful. If you can't do it I understand..its also good to do volunteer work . God bless you🤗
@@OM-xw6su I have a beautiful nearly 8 year old cat and as you know cats have a vocabulary up to 3 years human age. He is the love of my life I never said I was lonely I said I'm alone. I made a great distinction between being lonely and alone and I'm not lonely. Yes volunteer work is wonderful for those who can get out of their home but that may not be until next week for me I spend months stuck in the house because foreign girls are sent to care for me and they spend their entire day 7 hours 6 days a week I get on the phone.
Man, so spot on thank you! I even didn't need to listen to the end of the video to realised what was going wrong! Thank you for extending your hand brother!
Firstly may I tell you where I am coming from. I am nearly 73 years old and have lived alone for over 20 years. Two of my children live abroad but we regularly text. My oldest daughter lives in the same town and I see her and my granddaughters about once every three weeks. I am not sure what this doctor is rambling on about, it doesn't resonate with me at all. So for what it's worth this how I cope with being alone. Firstly I walk every day. I have a coffee in town and go to the gym. There are plenty of people older than me in the gym and fitter. I have set myself a challenge, how fit can I get at my age to the standard of an Olympic athlete, and also paint in watercolours with the objective of becoming a famous artist. Now none of this is at all likely but it is a challenge I aim for every day. When out and about I smile at people, chat with some and have friends at the gym. Some of those friends are severely disabled but my goodness do they try. So for anyone lonely here is a few tips. Start listening to modern pop music, some of it is just as good as in my youth. Get out and walk, preferably to a cafe and take with you a magazine or newspaper. Go to the library if one is nearby and sit and read a book. Most of all be proud that you are old , proud that you are out and about and just talk to anyone . They (rarely) bite. But smile and enjoy being old and rickety. SMILE as much as you can. Get out of the house even if you have to crawl, you will be admired for your spirit and who cares what others think you are too old to be troubled with that nonsense. Good luck
Tineke Williams It is very possible to be lonely and married. I have been married for 35 years to a wonderful, supportive man but there are days that I feel lonely. One can feel lonely even in a crowd. Might be lonely but never alone.
I was not lonely for a long time. I have my mum and kids and can only stand to socialize a lot less than most of my friends. Lately, I have been feeling lonely because I am single. It helps to remember the last ten years I was married when I felt even more alone. What helps the most is hard physical exercise.
If I feel a sense of loneliness, I get out into public places. But I have my angels who are always with me; I know that I am really never alone. During my divorce process, I have a team of angels supporting me behind the scene. Even though I may not see it, the support is there. :=)
Well this is great advice. I have been lonely since childhood - always, even when married which I no longer am. I am lonely for the "perfect mate". I feel that very strongly, and not only have I not met the perfect mate.....I have never seen one except in the movies. So my solution is to daily try and focus on beautiful things. Babies, puppies, my kitties, the decor in my condo, my hair color, the color of the sky, I paint so I love the paint colors, my daughter and grandson's faces....somehow filling my brain with beautiful things leads to nice thoughts and I am happy. thanks for this non "cookie cutter" advice.
Dr. Daniel, I am alone, but don't feel lonely because I use my alone time to read, go for a walk, cook, go out eat, etc. But there's people who for whatever reason sometimes mobility can't do these things. Let's elaborate on more options for them.
You write about your "alone time". This suggests to me that you have time that is not "alone time". What would you think if all of your time was "alone time"?
@@marcopolo2375 most of my time after work is alone time, but I make the best of the situation and embrace each day with a positive attitude. If I had company to share time and space I would value this person or 🐕 or 🐱 as deserved.
The trouble with the UK is that everybody wants to live their own secret lives "An English mans home is his castle" ...and nobody is allowed in. Open your doors to your neighbors and neighbors open your doors as well and get out their and meet people...make a daily plan with other lonely people instead of sitting in your home listening to the clock tick by. Use your phones and make plans....join together and buy a small camper van and go out on daily or weekly trips, sleep overs with your new Buddies...spend any savings you have wisely on YOURSELF and leave nothing to your uncaring family if you have one.
I have 2 brothers, 3 nephews, 2 nieces. None of them helped out in taking turns with our mother.All on me. The only famy member being a caretaker. My family, friends left me behind going on with their lives. Only one friend would visit me 2-3 times a week and the intetnet. All I had for a year. Lost contact with many whike2 sitting home mommy watching. All that baloney talk from siblings about how tbey love their grandmom. Till the time came when she needed care 24/7. If not for me shed been in a nursing home. Thanks I got for caring. A lonly life.
Charnette Robinson Carr The video was wonderful. Too bad, however, that he didn't mention the importance of having a relationship with Jesus Christ, our Redeemer. May I suggest that you read and study the Bible and get to know Him?! He will bring you comfort, peace, companionship and anything/everything else you need. God bless you!
Annie B God is the head of my life. To Him I give all the honor, glory and praise. Actually I am a Minister and a Chaplain where I reside so I get lots of Bible study. I didn't watch the video because of the comments but maybe I will. Thank you for caring about me and my relationship with God. May God continue to shine His countenance upon you.
@@tamradawn1732 Dear Tamra ~ I can't help but wonder if perhaps these comments were made to someone else? They don't seem to compute with anything I said. Blessings
Divorced a Narcissist controlled family last year, this year my negative husband wants a divorce. I shall be just as happy as I choose to be. This can turn my upside day into a smiling day. I am going to give a smile, walk and speak to others.
Wow. THANK YOU Dr. Gary. The words you spoke are so true. I have to forgive myself, accept my life for the way it has turned out, DO the one thing that I am good at doing and move forward. THANK YOU !!!
loneliness is hard but you have to realize the world will not come and rescue you, you are the one who must get out and reach out to people and not be put off by rejection, it's unfortunate but true.
You're comment is a gross generalisation. Sure there are people who don't try, but there are many who do put themselves out there, who are willing to be rejected and yet for whatever reason there need for friendships are not formed.
Try to remember, we're not just our current situation... plenty of happiness has been blessed to us. Cliche but true gratefulness and acceptance. Try to avoid creating snow ball of negativity in our mind
I used to feel lonely, and too shy to talk to people because as a kid I got teased a lot because of my southern accent. I got tired of all of these thoughts in my head, but too afraid to speak. Now you can't shut me up. I see people who are clearly lonely and it makes me so sad. I have total strangers tell me their life story and I listen even if I really don't have the time because they clearly need to talk to someone and I feel honored that they felt some kind of energy from me that made them choose me. Btw Dr Gary you have never really been lonely. The kind where you go weeks or even months with no one to talk to because there's no one in your life, and the older you get no one wants to be bothered with you. Sadly that's the unfortunate life of far too many people. I made my spoiled daughter do volunteer work for the Elderly but then covid-19 struck. When this is over both of us will do volunteer work even though my work keeps me quite busy.
The most helpful thing here was him saying we have to push through the uncomfortable feelings of loneliness to move forward. The rest was not much help.
I think one word to sum up your message is “acceptance”. Accept yourself along with your flaws and mistakes. Just as important, be forgiving to others. Everyone makes them. Accept your circumstances in the sense that you will only add to your despair if you concentrate on the negatives in your life. Know that others feel like you do and they need you, but understand that others cannot fulfill you. Turn your need into giving to others and show kindness. Know there are others that need friends and stay open to being one. If you are always negative even patient people might give up. Don’t drive them away. It is especially hard during the pandemic and this makes connecting more difficult, but remember there are people that care and need you to care about them as well. Don’t give up. 💞
Lonely in trinidad 🇹🇹..I've learned...well still learning to hold on to the promise I'll be with God one day..because guess what the average other human beings don't give a rats ass ...only what you can give them ....I still love them all from a distance
This man is amazingly wise. And a tremendously good speaker. I have listened to specialist on you tube channels. This man includes all specialized knowledge in his speech. I just love this man.
DrGary even though this was said 8 years ago, it is TIMELESS. This is so true in so many ways. I couldn’t have said it better. Funny thing, it’s some of the stuff I’ve said to myself. Thank you for sharing.
This was one of the best talks in the you tube. It seems people are talking about their subject but do not have enough knowledge to get to the point. Well, Dr. Gary Daniel has the gift of speech. He has got the point all through his speech. What an experience to listen to him. Can certainly help transforming one´s life.
I used to feel so alone in relationships and friendships during my 20’s. Once I got older, I became so much more comfortable with myself and worked on myself..and now, I don’t feel alone at all. Great video even tho it’s 12-13 years old. It still holds up
Thank You Sir. I play gospel music on guitar and sing at nursing homes many. It is a blessing. They become so greatful. And Ive found like you say... what I'm best at. Still single but as you say it's the first step working on yourself. Thank you.
Thank you. We beat ourselves up all too often. Its a very helpful reminder that we do have potential, worth and are good. Whats ironic is that most people feel this way.
he is saying to find your strenght, most people have many gifts, but only one really strong gift that they are really good. that would be your strenght , use it, it will erase your loneliness.
I suppose the message was very clear. It's time to look within yourself rather than outside, the outside which is temporary and changing.When you're all quiet and alone, the inner voice within you will be clear and this is the voice of real you which most people would like to suppress by distractions. But most people are afraid of this inner voice. This is from my experience, once you acknowledge the real voice then you make decision and move on.
I may have watched this video before but what a great video Dr Gary. I can't figure out if I'm very lonely or just very depressed. What you said might be the most important key for healing both and that's for a person to accept themselves - wow, thanks Dr. Gary! You're videos are the best!
Thank you Dr. Gary! Listen to what u say feel good. I guess when u r feeling lonely it's best to say to yourself "enjoy it alone". Such as reading a spiritual book or book on loneliness or insecurity.
The better you feel about yourself the more potential you will have for yourself. Beautiful ❤. Just keep quite about that thought so nobody else tries to ruin it.
Tracy Watson. I am in the same position. My family are all deceased. I do have a son, however he is incarcerated. No visitations due to covid. So I can understand your feelings. Prayers for you. Be strong.
Its nice to be alone , 1000 things you can do alone. Loneliness is another thing. Thanks for this video ! You are helping a lot of people , especially in this “crisis” . I call it ; the Great Good Turn. Greets from the Netherlands 🇳🇱🇳🇱🇳🇱 ❤️👩🏼🦰😺
Knowing who you are will never fill loneliness, knowing God will. We all have an innate desire to know our creator. You can push that away with drugs and sex and everything else and you will still feel lonely
To Dr. Gary Daniel, The first 2:00 minutes really packs a kind punch. Good stuff. You seem to have a pulse of the country, too. I'm just laying back, not miserable but in pain- neural, back pain, have other stuff and easily my thoughts can go to "I have no friends". True, I cannot get out much, disabled, but what you say about identifying yourself is true. I wish I could just hand you a bunch of $100 bills for what you said in 2 minutes. God bless your practice, your loved ones and your future. I decided yesterday that it is a matter of my core faith to be beneficial in being and hopefully doing. I believe if people are breathing that its beautiful. I avoid news and programing mostly if its depressing. What a great video
This is both of my sons, but especially my younger feels lonely. Heartbreaking. I’m thankful that I believe in God and have a spiritual family as well as a physical one.
Thank you so much fir that information, I totally get what yiu are sayin and have a lot of wirk to do on myself. I will continue to follow your channel. Thanks again, that really helps. Jerry
I'm seldom alone but lonly. Usually with others needing me for help, not for just enjoying companionship with me. I had many friends. I experienced 12 lay offs. Each time trying to catch up with my friends. Then hit with disability early and only social security for income. Everyone else moved on. I'm stuck being a caretaker for the elderly and they are not much in campanionship. To survive I need to live in someone elses home as a caretaker. I'll never have a retirement at age 63. Cant afford to take trips, afford my own place. I see other retirees lounging about in public. Socializing. I cant because Im always watching over some senile person. Needing so much attention that the family wont fill in for me to get a break! 24/7 doing this. I live on less than $1,000/month. If I didnt have so many lay offs,downsizings, health issues, I'd be doing fine. I make friends easily. Just cant keep up financially.
There is always something to do, and you can meet someone anywhere you go. It's meeting the right person that is the biggest challenge. Conversations are just conversations but that also means you are not lonely when you are just having a conversation.
Don't allow alone time become loneliness. I had a habit if turning down invites. Always telling myself, I don't fit, I'm too old, I'm not cool, blah blah blah. The devil is a liar and wants to see you in misery. Go out. Accept the invite. Tell yourself you are beautiful, people love you and care. You are a child of God NOTHING LESS! I really care.
Dr. Daniel, you definitely made some good points in this video about getting over being lonely and I think the key is what you said about finding something a person is good at. After my parents' passed-away, I felt a bit lonely because they were the last connection I had to my immediate family. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I decided to pour myself into my work that I enjoy and am good at and I rarely feel lonely.
A lot of you lonely people have already taken the first step by reaching out to one another!! Take those offers of friendship, maybe your life will change drastically. You have nothing to lose.
Years ago we didn't need doctors like him to tell us how to overcome loneliness because families lived together or close by . Kind of like the Waltons tv series . The kids didn't move far from home when they got married and the older family members was cherished and lived with the oldest child . Now , instead of family or society reaching out to the elderly, they act like the elderly needs therapy to overcome a basic human need .
thanks Dr Gary I'm very lonely and anger and depression is setting in, The silly thing is the more I think about it the more I can justify that feeling
Hey there! You’re not by yourself! Things could be much worst just look around you have legs hands eyes. You are not in a rest home or hospital. Start going to church and thank Jesus for allowing you to live as long as you’re have. You become what you ponder upon think different. Things are going to get better for you because prayer changes things and it changes us.Love you Glo
I am a 60 year old female who has no family or friends .All of my family and good friends have all passed away in the past few years. I have absolutely noone
Just came across your video, I know a lot of lonely people , I myself fight it. Being a widow and at the age of 71 I have out lived most of the friends back home and close family , so when I get closed in I try to make me happy by trying new things . Most of the time it works, even with illness ,but I keep going for me and who I am as a woman .
Dr Gary.. my dad was a counselor.. he called it “being comfortable with your own company” if you are comfortable with yourself when no on is around.. you are never lonely.
Presumably he was married - maybe not, not required when having offspring of course, and had kids. His understanding is limited.
Sounds like "cope"
It’s important to be nice to everyone you meet, you may be the only person they speak to today.
Yes, and you never know what somebody may be going through, or has gone through. Kindness doesn't cost a dime, and yet can mean the world to someone who is lonely or beaten-down and hurting!! Please keep this in mind at all times.
🙏🙏🙏
Sometimes people don’t have anything left for themselves, nonetheless anyone else.
Honor yourself and others your needed.
It is better to be lonely alone, than it is to be lonely with someone else.
So so true
I'm so tired of no love and loneliness. It's horrible.
@Scott Ferguson Me too. You're right; it really is hell. If u would like to talk, write back here and I will put my contact info here and then delete it. I'd be happy to be your friend. But if u don't feel comfortable doing that, I completely understand and best wishes to u. I've never done this before, but what the hell, haha. Feel like I'm already there anyway ;)
I can relate to this.i don't feel comfortable of having lots of fakes around .I am not lucky to have a real friend in a true sense of the word everyone is busy with their own priorities.
Yes... I kew someone need someone..in Somewhere parte in this word... I think wee must make un whatuup list group to the same situations.. Wee no lonely anymore😊
Agree loneliness is a killer. It depends how long scenarios go on for I handled for the first year but when it's on and on, and when your ill and alone it's horrible.All what he said I have done but you can only do that for so long
I’m hear you
I’m here if you need to chat
Jimalford2255@gmail.com
Just enjoy listening to "THE SOUND OF SILENCE"
BETTER ALONE THAN WITH BAD COMPANY.
Already know this. Satisfied with myself, thank God
Being alone is better then being in abusive relationships
Exactly!
Yes I like that too sometimes is overwhelming but I go with it and then it past.
Rosa Colon the only thing worse than being alone is wishing you were , my mama used to say that to me a lot. Makes a ton of sense to me. I enjoy my own company. 😄 im a great conversationalist, just ask my birds,dogs and cats 🤣😂
I have been lonely most of my life. I reach out to people but they do not reach back. I do not contact people who do not call back.
Susan Milne ,I would be your friend.We prob. live far from each other. Bless you!
I do the same. I allow 3 attempts/calls, spaced week apart. If no return call.. I gently close that door. And mentally wish them well..and life goes on. I look for light fussy things to do to fill in space..and it's ok. Organize books..plants for patio..light simple things. Treat myself to a tea and scone on patio..enjoying the moment.
Patricia Russell count me in
@Lee Francis Yea that be fun. People believing In someone they have never seen.
Susan Milne I feel you:/
I decided to be alone than to be surrounded by family and relatives who prefer money over quality relationships. I have also lost friends over the years because I realized that most of them just wanted me as their emotional trash bin. I will never allow people to use me again.
I am where you are!!!
Here too dear, named family but most of them love money and destroyed my life!
@Lee Francis this is the real darling♡
@Lee Francis Prince of hearts?! More important when you make someone is a lover and the friend or soulmate in same time♡.. Who means the family for you. Even you crossed the 70 or 80 of age, there is who loves you without goal except your existance in his life as a lover♡. God bless u
@Lee Francis Very nice dear, even 70 years old it is no matter but the important there is some lover give you the passtions and caring that come from the honest pure Love♡ ... There is older in young heart and reverse. God protect u
Im chose to be alone because there are to many fake people out there!
I tend to agree with you because people are mostly fake as poisonous cake....
Agree !!!
Agree 👍
Ive been a loner for the most of my life but ive never been more alone and angry since these 1.5yrs. Angry at people who i felt have shunned me as a person. The anger and depression had gotten so bad that it was becoming potentially hazardous to my health. Then memory stepped in by instinct and i realized that ive been the author of all my misery and have been a person who had much to be ashamed of. That i only had myself to blame for all of this. I suddenly felt better as realized that i couldn't really blame anyone else and that the people i was angry at had good reason for their attitudes towards me. Im now more calm and able to move on and focus on more important things.
Being alone is not easy
No one said it was easy, in fact the point is that it's not?
Hi. I am an advocate of mental health and an Admin of 24/7 ; Group Chat Support PH. Part of our mission is to reach out to people in social media who may need help or can support others in battling depression, anxiety and other mental disorders.
If you OR anyone you know is suffering from these, or if you would like to volunteer to help others, I am inviting you to join our group chat (GC). Our chatroom is a refuge to engage, support and interact between members (all Pinoy) both sufferers and advocates.
We are here to listen. Let me know if you are interested. Thank you.
I'm alone and like it.
Dear liza.i agree with you hun.it effects heart soul body and mind.can actually bring poor health. Guess its ok for those who dont mind being alone.when looked upon adam.he said it is not good that man should be alone.i will make for him a helpmeet.adam would have died of loneliness. An i agree.god bless you.desire your prayers.hun
A good relationship is not easy !
I lost my parents 3 years ago and my life has never been the same. I used to talk to them every day and now I have no one. Brothers and sisters are not as loving..I do have a dog who loves me and I will be rescuing another one. They are my family..forget about friends. They are not real. The most difficult part is during the holidays..when I walk my dog and hear people in the backyard laughing and hanging out or in restaurants I feel really bad for myself. I miss my parents a lot but they are not coming back. Can't replace them or fill the gap.
Trust. God is with you all. Always
O M i am sorry for your lost. But someday you too are going to have your own family and you are not going to feel that lonely.
@@nancycolon7818 You glibly trot out this phrase thinking you are doing good but you are not. Some of us cannot believe in the delusion of god.
@@nancycolon7818 your so right, praise God
This is good advice, but all the positive thoughts in the world will not help a person who is isolated by structural factors, such as being disabled, not having transport, getting older and not having family or social support. Online social media does not replace face to face contact. If you're unable to go out into the world because of practical reasons, the world will not come to you.
Rowan Hagen positivity helps a little but when you have structural factors then positivity never works for some - only God can.
My loneliness, is usually because people ignore me.
They make me feel alone.
Only if you let them make you feel alone can the make you feel alone. Move on from those who ignore you.
Reach out others, say hi, help others. That s how you make friends.
Mel Rose me 2 I’m a female. I don’t like to do with most people do I’m kind of eccentric I’m attractive I understand I’m just strikingly beautiful but I just don’t fit in I’m not sure I feel bad about that now in life
Dave Saenz i dont fit into to peoples box.. Im true to myself and refuse to be who they want me to be. They dont like me as i am. But i accept them as they are. Its a bit hurtful.
@@marvelouslymelrose3518 I am the same way Mel. I refuse to be like everyone else, not against them, but to stick to my beliefs. I was wired different, but to me it makes perfect sense. We are all different for a reason. Yet I don't feel alone anymore. I've come to terms that I will never be like others and that is okay. I want to be me. However, I try my very best to be as friendly as possible and respect others for who they are. I used to have depression and I have overcome this illness on my own. You're not alone, and if you are be okay with it.
Elliot, you are so right. I am my own best friend and my best friend is always with me. When I die, I won't be alone, my best friend will be there with me, holding me in a warm hug.
I am alone, and lonely. This is not always a choice. Depression has taken over my life. Both parents have died. No siblings. Parents were only kids too, so no uncles, aunts, or cousins. Family is non-existent! I’m 50 and in this world by myself. I was drugged and raped 7 years ago. I go for days where I don’t see or speak to people. Some days, I just don’t feel good, and there is nobody who cares or to help me. I can’t just say....I’m not going to be lonely...and poof, I’m not alone or lonely. The world is set up to remind you that we should be in pairs. Restaurants , vacations, playing a game, weddings, cooking, etc...all these things remind us we should have a partner. You know how lonely and embarrassing it is to take a vacation in a foreign country and go to a restaurant and ask for a table for 1 ? You see families and friends together having fun, and I am alone.... BTW it doesn’t make anything better if you are HIV positive like me. Talk about rejection.....
I knew a lot of people from work and we used to hang out, but many times I just wanted to be alone. I go out by myself and I still do. I used to be a server and had customers come in by themselves all the time. I used to talk to them and introduce others to them. Makes going out by yourself fun.
I hear you L. Watson I'm 65 now, retired, most friends have died, moved or are no longer close. PTSD, lifelong depression, in and out of therapy, have a sister 2000 miles away and I won't move there (too cold, snow)I'm not HIV positive but I lost many friends to AIDS, it's a vicous battle most days. Anyway I know and we are better then we think. We are survivors!
God Bless u..u sound like a wonderful person..Join a gym..I find going to my gym helps a lot..spending some time around others, take work out classes is great..I love keeping my self in shape n strong..Sending u a big hug..
Only people in a similar situation can help you. You must look for them. No one else will be interested.
Dominique Parekh I don’t think you don’t get what being alone or lonely is. “I must look for them....no-one else will be interested”. SERIOUSLY? Do you know of some magical place where lonely people hang out? I sure as hell don’t, and if you say a bar, I swear.....! I guess I’ll just hang out on the street corner with a sign saying Dominique Parekh says to look for lonely people here. Pull over if you are lonely too.
Just remember that people are a pain-in-the-ass!! You'll feel less lonely!!
:D Yes but you will be a "pain in the ass" yourself with that negative and antisocial worldviev. And hence you will cry sometimes while attempting to sleep at night. While there is propably a lot to love about you nobody will see it. But truly, being social means to suffer from time to time, sadly this world will never be perfect. and this is what you are right about. Now lets try not to ruin our days with aversion :D
I agree!
@@mr.pottsdam3462 I agree with Blake. People and people such as yourselves are a pain in the ass!!!!! Piss off and leave us alone.
@@mickgriffin3843 yes i am and you are also. now let's go ahead and suffer like real men. btw, where can i piss off? :D
@@mickgriffin3843 Right on
You crack me up
This is spot on. We are not lonely when we stop wanting something else! Then we take pleasure, not in other things, but in our selves. We spent the first 9 months of being Alive, within our mother’s womb. We were perfectly happy, be cause then we did not hanker after others things, Keep spreadinG the message. This is when we are closest to God! “Be still and know that I am God” Psalms 46:10.
Thank you for sharing input , it helps me so much ❤
Can we have a support group here? Sometimes I do not even see another real-live human being for 3-5 days at a time.
Yes but I still miss my wife...I have a great life...but when I unexpectedly lost my best friend and wife...it took a turn to the lonely side.
Online Real Estate Today I am so sorry to hear about your wife and friend; the Bible says "be still and know that I am God" the Bible also says "come to me those who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest".
Online Real Estate Today I lost my husband so I understand this feeling. I will pray for you.
Dude. Stop bitching! At least you had a wife and someone who loved you.
i understand your comment, best to you :)
Couldn't agree more...
Loneliness can drive a person mad! It's very unhealthy.
Isolation and loneliness kills..
It hurts sooooo bad i am terrified to lie down to go to sleep
Jefferyoga Jefferyoga sorry to hear thay. Try to talk to people that you come across with everyday.
Jefferyoga Jefferyoga do not be afraid; Jesus Christ is with you, he loves you and he has a plan for your life; the Bible says in Romans 10:9 "that if you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus died and God hath raised him from the dead then you shall be saved:, do you want to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour?
Its true!
Im alone but not lonely, I used to chat my children who are gar away, goes to seashore almost everyday by walking 25 mins.from home, tend my garden cooked my favorite foods and always gives thanks to the Lord that im still alive. Im 73 yrs young now. I feel young age is just a number.
Florie Baguio : Good for you, you have a good life!!!!🙏😚💕💕💕💕
73 is pretty young in our 'neck of the woods'. I suppose it's different for many people though.
Thanking God is where it begins. Bless you.
Sure. You sound healthy. Different if you are suffering from depression or getting over chemo ect.
Joyce Salocha - yes, I've got a brain injury and really LOVE chatting and human contact but since my injuries I get totally exhausted talking and trying to understand people talking to me, sometimes I cry after and when really bad I just lie still because my brain feels wiped. Also outside, cafés, beaches = everywhere I hurt LOADS, constant pain, can't EVER get comfy plus everywhere's noisy and to me too many strong smells because I've become extra-sensitive to all this, BAM one day = everything changed. Trouble is I look quite 'normal' (!) and people think I'm lying or exaggerating, to confuse them and me MORE = I vary: some days I am far better than others, it also depends how I've slept coz that's AWFUL (waking so often and panicking in night) then when I DO sleep = terrible nightmares from the mega stresses I'm being forced to try deal with and live with. I know I'm lucky I can walk (but it hurts lots, I use a bicycle when I can) and can cook (though hard) and drive = yes I can drive but fear I'm losing that skill = so scary.
But I try to do my art and a lot of the time it takres my mind off some awful stuff but really need a solution for my very injured neck/lumbar+ but 'not allowed' = no help given = why? I'm always told there are people worse than me and more needy than me and it's true, LOADS of us need help, an adapted place to live and so on and if done right we could help each other with what we each CAN do. But too late for lots of us (and me): the neglect, misdiagnosis, mistreatment, BAD chiropracters and 2 osteopaths (who injured me where i wasn't injured before), falling down stairs TWICE & more bad permanent injuries etc. have caused extra permanent injuries and far worse pain = my life far harder than it could've been if had got right help at start. Hoping this'll change in time for others...
The real problem is families are not close anymore. They have no time for their siblings, parents and grandparents. If you have something they want , here they all come. They say we all have guardian angels if true we are not alone.
Its depression. Contentment and happiness comes from within. It's not easy fighting depression
Absolutely
Dr. Gary, if no one has said this to you lately, I want to tell you that I deeply appreciate your videos. Your words have had such a profound and positive impact in my life and I am so thankful. I just want to say thank you.
There are so many people around the world who are lonely who have been hurt by their own family friends and they don't trust nobody ....nobody deserves to be lonely but its better to be alone than in a bad company in today's world it's hard to find a true friends and partner for life times have changed unfortunately ...instead if building bridges people are building walls between them its sad I feel so sorry for anyone that's alone in this world with nobody most of them they loose confidence and their own idententy ...you could be married and still feel alone or above all you could be in circle of friends and still feel alone .....that's even worse
Dear suzy.thank you for your thoughts kindheart and compassion.drsire your prayers. God bless you hun.
Yes you would think it would be easy to find a lonely heart to match yours.and begin your healing together. But know one admits being lonely in public.god bless you.
Yes you would think it would be easy to find a lonely heart to match yours.and begin your healing together. But know one admits being lonely in public.god bless you.
Not all my friendships are deep. Some I just go bowling with. Some prefer the golf course. Looking for a walking buddy right now. One person can't always be everything, but a lot of ppl may share at least one common interest.
"It is no measure of Health to be well adjusted in a profoundly sick society." - Krishnamurti
Thanks you so much Dr Gary. I never thought about loneliness in such a simple way. When I'm lonely, i just need to find peace in being by myself.
That is over simplified.
My Wife left me for another Man. I thought it was my fault. My Family told me I worked too much and that it's my fault. I have no contact to my Family. They dont call and dont visit me. My Ex-Wife Always wanted more and more Things, and I worked so much to get her all this. Now I live alone. I learned from all this, that God gives you whats good for you and takes away whats bad. I dont hate her. After all this I feel freedom. It took a while to recognize that in my realtionship I was always alone. Now I got more time for me, and who knows, maybe there is Somebody waiting for me. Whatever happens, happens. I keep going forward. I enjoy the little Things in Life.
+255753392343
Der Nutzer sorry to hear that . She should of tell you that she was feeling lonely and you could of do something about it I don’t think it was your fault.
I am in same boat only I told him t I go
Have you found that somebody ?
I live in an apartment complex where nobody speaks to anybody else and I have tried saying hello too many people who don't even look up. I am also medically and physically handicapped and have no car due to $943 on SSDI and my mother pays the bulk of my rent as it was in my father's will and now she's going to stop after September and myself and my cat will end up on the street in a manual wheelchair I can walk but not very far. And I cannot push a manual wheelchair due to nerve damage from horrible B12 deficiency. So you tell me how to meet people. I am alone but I'm not lonely although it would be nice to have some friends. People don't want to be my friend once they find out how very intelligent I am and they say you're too smart for me I can't be your friend! Well you know I went to Harvard and that's just the way it is it doesn't mean that I look for people with super intelligence it means that I look for people with super hearts if you have a good heart then I have no problem being friends. I am a very good friend but I have not been able to find another very good friend. I was abused from the age of 4 until today my mother my brother several husbands several boyfriends bullied in school for 9 years going home bloody everyday. I also did many wonderful things during that time but I have no way of leaving my front door until I get a new caregiver which could be next week or maybe not. I can't get her can get me out of the house and I am extremely nice to people even in Walmart if they say excuse me or something to me because I'm on the ride and got or sometimes I'll go around the corner and see the same Man 3 times in a row and say we have to stop meeting this way with a chuckle. I am very social and when I lived in the UK they said I was the life and soul of the party which means that you are fun funny good to be around that you can spark up anything even just having coffee with somebody.
😢
I'm sorry you feel lonely. Have you tried rescuing a dog? They are wonderful. If you can't do it I understand..its also good to do volunteer work . God bless you🤗
@@OM-xw6su I have a beautiful nearly 8 year old cat and as you know cats have a vocabulary up to 3 years human age. He is the love of my life I never said I was lonely I said I'm alone. I made a great distinction between being lonely and alone and I'm not lonely. Yes volunteer work is wonderful for those who can get out of their home but that may not be until next week for me I spend months stuck in the house because foreign girls are sent to care for me and they spend their entire day 7 hours 6 days a week I get on the phone.
Elizabeth Shaw what u don’t think American caregivers would do the same. You think they somehow might be more present?
Man, so spot on thank you!
I even didn't need to listen to the end of the video to realised what was going wrong!
Thank you for extending your hand brother!
Firstly may I tell you where I am coming from. I am nearly 73 years old and have lived alone for over 20 years. Two of my children live abroad but we regularly text. My oldest daughter lives in the same town and I see her and my granddaughters about once every three weeks.
I am not sure what this doctor is rambling on about, it doesn't resonate with me at all. So for what it's worth this how I cope with being alone. Firstly I walk every day. I have a coffee in town and go to the gym. There are plenty of people older than me in the gym and fitter. I have set myself a challenge, how fit can I get at my age to the standard of an Olympic athlete, and also paint in watercolours with the objective of becoming a famous artist. Now none of this is at all likely but it is a challenge I aim for every day. When out and about I smile at people, chat with some and have friends at the gym. Some of those friends are severely disabled but my goodness do they try. So for anyone lonely here is a few tips. Start listening to modern pop music, some of it is just as good as in my youth. Get out and walk, preferably to a cafe and take with you a magazine or newspaper. Go to the library if one is nearby and sit and read a book. Most of all be proud that you are old , proud that you are out and about and just talk to anyone . They (rarely) bite. But smile and enjoy being old and rickety. SMILE as much as you can. Get out of the house even if you have to crawl, you will be admired for your spirit and who cares what others think you are too old to be troubled with that nonsense. Good luck
Sage advise🙌🏽
I never thought you could be lonely married! But I took steps to fix me! I am alone but never lonely!
Tineke Williams It is very possible to be lonely and married. I have been married for 35 years to a wonderful, supportive man but there are days that I feel lonely. One can feel lonely even in a crowd. Might be lonely but never alone.
Tineke Williams The loneliest time in my life was when I was married.
Tineke Williams that is where im lonely the most.
jensmom604 really?
Mel Rose really?
I was not lonely for a long time. I have my mum and kids and can only stand to socialize a lot less than most of my friends. Lately, I have been feeling lonely because I am single. It helps to remember the last ten years I was married when I felt even more alone. What helps the most is hard physical exercise.
If I feel a sense of loneliness, I get out into public places. But I have my angels who are always with me; I know that I am really never alone. During my divorce process, I have a team of angels supporting me behind the scene. Even though I may not see it, the support is there. :=)
Angels are there to support the lonely? I have never heard anything SO RIDICULOUS.
I love my angels they comfort support you in good and sad times.
I don't got to take care or attend to anybodys' needs but myself! I treat & spoil myself. I deserve it. I love it!!! :)
Well this is great advice. I have been lonely since childhood - always, even when married which I no longer am. I am lonely for the "perfect mate". I feel that very strongly, and not only have I not met the perfect mate.....I have never seen one except in the movies. So my solution is to daily try and focus on beautiful things. Babies, puppies, my kitties, the decor in my condo, my hair color, the color of the sky, I paint so I love the paint colors, my daughter and grandson's faces....somehow filling my brain with beautiful things leads to nice thoughts and I am happy. thanks for this non "cookie cutter" advice.
Dr. Daniel, I am alone, but don't feel lonely because I use my alone time to read, go for a walk, cook, go out eat, etc. But there's people who for whatever reason sometimes mobility can't do these things. Let's elaborate on more options for them.
You write about your "alone time". This suggests to me that you have time that is not "alone time". What would you think if all of your time was "alone time"?
@@marcopolo2375 most of my time after work is alone time, but I make the best of the situation and embrace each day with a positive attitude. If I had company to share time and space I would value this person or 🐕 or 🐱 as deserved.
That was great advise! Thank you for posting this. My life has changed forever and I will relay those words to anyone who feels lonely.
Stop chasing people.
You need to love yourself and be friend with yourself.
The trouble with the UK is that everybody wants to live their own secret lives "An English mans home is his castle" ...and nobody is allowed in. Open your doors to your neighbors and neighbors open your doors as well and get out their and meet people...make a daily plan with other lonely people instead of sitting in your home listening to the clock tick by. Use your phones and make plans....join together and buy a small camper van and go out on daily or weekly trips, sleep overs with your new Buddies...spend any savings you have wisely on YOURSELF and leave nothing to your uncaring family if you have one.
If you left your door open here, the druggies upstairs would steal what wasn't nailed down.
I have 2 brothers, 3 nephews, 2 nieces. None of them helped out in taking turns with our mother.All on me. The only famy member being a caretaker. My family, friends left me behind going on with their lives. Only one friend would visit me 2-3 times a week and the intetnet. All I had for a year. Lost contact with many whike2 sitting home mommy watching. All that baloney talk from siblings about how tbey love their grandmom. Till the time came when she needed care 24/7. If not for me shed been in a nursing home. Thanks I got for caring. A lonly life.
I think sometimes loneliness stems from childhood
I think that is a good point. I think that when a child grows up ignored by parents and just grows up they never learn how to relate to people.
@@beverlymccollum8861 you’ve hit the nail on the head.
Thanks you, totally agree! I just talk to people where ever I am!!! Dog park where ever I am I make friendly conversation 👍🏼😊
after reading the comments I am not even going to watch this video. Let's take care of each other
Charnette Robinson Carr that is what is important!
Charnette Robinson Carr The video was wonderful. Too bad, however, that he didn't mention the importance of having a relationship with Jesus Christ, our Redeemer. May I suggest that you read and study the Bible and get to know Him?! He will bring you comfort, peace, companionship and anything/everything else you need. God bless you!
Annie B God is the head of my life. To Him I give all the honor, glory and praise. Actually I am a Minister and a Chaplain where I reside so I get lots of Bible study. I didn't watch the video because of the comments but maybe I will. Thank you for caring about me and my relationship with God. May God continue to shine His countenance upon you.
Every coin has two sides. ;) May God continue to bless you, too.
@@tamradawn1732
Dear Tamra ~
I can't help but wonder if perhaps these comments were made to someone else? They don't seem to compute with anything I said.
Blessings
Divorced a Narcissist controlled family last year, this year my negative husband wants a divorce. I shall be just as happy as I choose to be. This can turn my upside day into a smiling day. I am going to give a smile, walk and speak to others.
Wow. THANK YOU Dr. Gary.
The words you spoke are so true.
I have to forgive myself, accept my life for the way it has turned out, DO the one thing that I am good at doing and move forward.
THANK YOU !!!
loneliness is hard but you have to realize the world will not come and rescue you, you are the one who must get out and reach out to people and not be put off by rejection, it's unfortunate but true.
You're comment is a gross generalisation. Sure there are people who don't try, but there are many who do put themselves out there, who are willing to be rejected and yet for whatever reason there need for friendships are not formed.
Try to remember, we're not just our current situation... plenty of happiness has been blessed to us. Cliche but true gratefulness and acceptance. Try to avoid creating snow ball of negativity in our mind
I used to feel lonely, and too shy to talk to people because as a kid I got teased a lot because of my southern accent. I got tired of all of these thoughts in my head, but too afraid to speak. Now you can't shut me up. I see people who are clearly lonely and it makes me so sad. I have total strangers tell me their life story and I listen even if I really don't have the time because they clearly need to talk to someone and I feel honored that they felt some kind of energy from me that made them choose me. Btw Dr Gary you have never really been lonely. The kind where you go weeks or even months with no one to talk to because there's no one in your life, and the older you get no one wants to be bothered with you. Sadly that's the unfortunate life of far too many people. I made my spoiled daughter do volunteer work for the Elderly but then covid-19 struck. When this is over both of us will do volunteer work even though my work keeps me quite busy.
Long term loneliness saps the confidence and you become so socially paralised that little or no change can be made...
Thank you so much, Garry for your words and the energy. Love.
The most helpful thing here was him saying we have to push through the uncomfortable feelings of loneliness to move forward. The rest was not much help.
Yeah, but push through uncomfortable feelings how?
I also think ur wrong. The friends and family that says their there for u is never there. So where do u turn no where.
I think one word to sum up your message is “acceptance”. Accept yourself along with your flaws and mistakes. Just as important, be forgiving to others. Everyone makes them. Accept your circumstances in the sense that you will only add to your despair if you concentrate on the negatives in your life. Know that others feel like you do and they need you, but understand that others cannot fulfill you. Turn your need into giving to others and show kindness. Know there are others that need friends and stay open to being one. If you are always negative even patient people might give up. Don’t drive them away. It is especially hard during the pandemic and this makes connecting more difficult, but remember there are people that care and need you to care about them as well. Don’t give up. 💞
Thank you for sharing , I learn a lot from you ❤
Lonely in trinidad 🇹🇹..I've learned...well still learning to hold on to the promise I'll be with God one day..because guess what the average other human beings don't give a rats ass ...only what you can give them ....I still love them all from a distance
I`m alone a lot and not many friends. I think our best friend late in life may be our money.
This man is amazingly wise. And a tremendously good speaker. I have listened to specialist on you tube channels. This man includes all specialized knowledge in his speech. I just love this man.
DrGary even though this was said 8 years ago, it is TIMELESS. This is so true in so many ways. I couldn’t have said it better. Funny thing, it’s some of the stuff I’ve said to myself. Thank you for sharing.
This was one of the best talks in the you tube. It seems people are talking about their subject but do not have enough knowledge to get to the point. Well, Dr. Gary Daniel has the gift of speech. He has got the point all through his speech. What an experience to listen to him. Can certainly help transforming one´s life.
I used to feel so alone in relationships and friendships during my 20’s. Once I got older, I became so much more comfortable with myself and worked on myself..and now, I don’t feel alone at all. Great video even tho it’s 12-13 years old. It still holds up
you're exactly right! glad I found your channel
Thank You Sir.
I play gospel music on guitar and sing at nursing homes many. It is a blessing.
They become so greatful.
And Ive found like you say...
what I'm best at.
Still single but as you say it's
the first step working on yourself. Thank you.
Thank you. We beat ourselves up all too often. Its a very helpful reminder that we do have potential, worth and are good. Whats ironic is that most people feel this way.
Wow so glad I found your video. This is fantastic and such true advice very straightforward love it and thank you so much it’s really appreciated!!!
Life is full of loneliness, sadness, and misery . But it's all over before you know it ..
Depression, 24/7 caregiving, being sick yourself adds to lonely. Kids have grown up and have their own lives. Old age is no joke.
Under no circumstances was this video helpful in ANY capacity.
Well, give Dr. Phil a try!
Yeah.! He might well have said, "Lonely.? Stick your finger in your ear and sing 'Ting-a-ling-a-loo'!"
he is saying to find your strenght, most people have many gifts, but only one really strong gift that they are really good. that would be your strenght , use it, it will erase your loneliness.
Really???
I suppose the message was very clear. It's time to look within yourself rather than outside, the outside which is temporary and changing.When you're all quiet and alone, the inner voice within you will be clear and this is the voice of real you which most people would like to suppress by distractions. But most people are afraid of this inner voice. This is from my experience, once you acknowledge the real voice then you make decision and move on.
Thank you Dr. Gary! You are 'right on'! Having an 'attitude of gratitude' really lets the sun shine in! God bless. xo
I may have watched this video before but what a great video Dr Gary. I can't figure out if I'm very lonely or just very depressed. What you said might be the most important key for healing both and that's for a person to accept themselves - wow, thanks Dr. Gary! You're videos are the best!
Thank you Dr. Gary! Listen to what u say feel good. I guess when u r feeling lonely it's best to say to yourself "enjoy it alone". Such as reading a spiritual book or book on loneliness or insecurity.
Your a great gentleman Sir,
Dr Gary, Thank you for videos, i listen to all of them and are very comforting.
The better you feel about yourself the more potential you will have for yourself. Beautiful ❤. Just keep quite about that thought so nobody else tries to ruin it.
Tracy Watson. I am in the same position. My family are all deceased. I do have a son, however he is incarcerated. No visitations due to covid. So I can understand your feelings. Prayers for you. Be strong.
Dr. Gary, you have awakened and inspired me! Negative energy be gone! Thank you!
Its nice to be alone , 1000 things you can do alone. Loneliness is another thing. Thanks for this video ! You are helping a lot of people , especially in this “crisis” . I call it ; the Great Good Turn. Greets from the Netherlands 🇳🇱🇳🇱🇳🇱 ❤️👩🏼🦰😺
Thank you, good sir, this was great
Knowing who you are will never fill loneliness, knowing God will. We all have an innate desire to know our creator. You can push that away with drugs and sex and everything else and you will still feel lonely
To Dr. Gary Daniel,
The first 2:00 minutes really packs a kind punch. Good stuff. You seem to have a pulse of the country, too. I'm just laying back, not miserable but in pain- neural, back pain, have other stuff and easily my thoughts can go to "I have no friends".
True, I cannot get out much, disabled, but what you say about identifying yourself is true. I wish I could just hand you a bunch of $100 bills for what you said in 2 minutes. God bless your practice, your loved ones and your future. I decided yesterday that it is a matter of my core faith to be beneficial in being and hopefully doing. I believe if people are breathing that its beautiful. I avoid news and programing mostly if its depressing. What a great video
Thank you for making this video. It is very on point! I needed this.
Wow I loved this short talk!! Thankyou!!
This is both of my sons, but especially my younger feels lonely. Heartbreaking. I’m thankful that I believe in God and have a spiritual family as well as a physical one.
A thousand thanks (from an 84-year-old).
Thank you so much fir that information, I totally get what yiu are sayin and have a lot of wirk to do on myself. I will continue to follow your channel. Thanks again, that really helps. Jerry
Reach out to others.
Walking daily in nature, Eating healthier, Yoga and stretching helps too.
Your hobby is your strength : build on that
Another good, helpful video Dr. Gary and by the way I love your shirt!
Thank you Dr Gary l actually love being alone because I love myself in a non egotistical way l speak to my soul and it smiles back at me
What an exceptionally to the point talk, and every word with full meaning. Wow! Thank you.
I'm seldom alone but lonly. Usually with others needing me for help, not for just enjoying companionship with me. I had many friends. I experienced 12 lay offs. Each time trying to catch up with my friends. Then hit with disability early and only social security for income. Everyone else moved on. I'm stuck being a caretaker for the elderly and they are not much in campanionship. To survive I need to live in someone elses home as a caretaker. I'll never have a retirement at age 63. Cant afford to take trips, afford my own place. I see other retirees lounging about in public. Socializing. I cant because Im always watching over some senile person. Needing so much attention that the family wont fill in for me to get a break! 24/7 doing this. I live on less than $1,000/month. If I didnt have so many lay offs,downsizings, health issues, I'd be doing fine. I make friends easily. Just cant keep up financially.
There is always something to do, and you can meet someone anywhere you go. It's meeting the right person that is the biggest challenge. Conversations are just conversations but that also means you are not lonely when you are just having a conversation.
Don't allow alone time become loneliness. I had a habit if turning down invites. Always telling myself, I don't fit, I'm too old, I'm not cool, blah blah blah. The devil is a liar and wants to see you in misery. Go out. Accept the invite. Tell yourself you are beautiful, people love you and care. You are a child of God NOTHING LESS! I really care.
There is one consolation ; we are all made of the same stuff.Keep a simple faith in God and express gratitude for the good things.
Dr. Daniel, you definitely made some good points in this video about getting over being lonely and I think the key is what you said about finding something a person is good at. After my parents' passed-away, I felt a bit lonely because they were the last connection I had to my immediate family. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I decided to pour myself into my work that I enjoy and am good at and I rarely feel lonely.
Oh sorry for that
@@lydiakusimba7266 Thanks, Lydia. I appreciate it!
A lot of you lonely people have already taken the first step by reaching out to one another!! Take those offers of friendship, maybe your life will change drastically. You have nothing to lose.
Years ago we didn't need doctors like him to tell us how to overcome loneliness because families lived together or close by . Kind of like the Waltons tv series . The kids didn't move far from home when they got married and the older family members was cherished and lived with the oldest child . Now , instead of family or society reaching out to the elderly, they act like the elderly needs therapy to overcome a basic human need .
thanks Dr Gary I'm very lonely and anger and depression is setting in, The silly thing is the more I think about it the more I can justify that feeling
Hey there! You’re not by yourself! Things could be much worst just look around you have legs hands eyes. You are not in a rest home or hospital. Start going to church and thank Jesus for allowing you to live as long as you’re have. You become what you ponder upon think different. Things are going to get better for you because prayer changes things and it changes us.Love you Glo
I really needed this today. Thank you so much!! :)
I am a 60 year old female who has no family or friends .All of my family and good friends have all passed away in the past few years. I have absolutely noone
Is that Stevie nicks from Fleetwood Mac!!!
I feel you, here.
My life is Solitary confinement! Becoming Agoraphobic. Too painful to have fake friendship, I deserve better. I’m a loyal, loving friend.
Just came across your video, I know a lot of lonely people , I myself fight it. Being a widow and at the age of 71 I have out lived most of the friends back home and close family , so when I get closed in I try to make me happy by trying new things . Most of the time it works, even with illness ,but I keep going for me and who I am as a woman .