Watch This If You're Feeling Lonely (I got advice from experts)
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- Опубликовано: 25 авг 2024
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“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”
― Mark Twain
Does this mean there are different types of loneliness?
How can I be comfortable with myself if I don't have any friends?
Seb | hold on, this isnt the point! You can have as many friends as you want; if you dislike yourself you will feel lonely anyway
The same way you can have no friends, and still love your own company, thus not feeling lonely at all
@@gabrieltomaz6034 i don't think one can have no friends and still feel happy. We are social animals and this is a key aspect for feeling good as human beings.
@@gabrieltomaz6034 I love my own company but it's sad that I don't have someone to share my company with...if that makes sense
I love that you're not afraid to admit your own loneliness. Especially for men, we never really like to talk about this kind of stuff. Hopefully that can change, and we won't take human interaction for granted anymore.
@♓️ CP Actually, I've found that when many people talk about mental health awareness, they're really talking about how hard it is to be vulnerable. I think that plays a role in loneliness - how many find it hard to truly open up about their feelings.
“All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart.”
― Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me
love this quote
Exactly. Same here :)
Absolutely loved the book series of tahefeh Mafi
Very relatable, I'll have to look up that book series...
I so much agree with you!!
That's an awesome quote!
"If you're depressed, if you're anxious... You are not weak. You're not crazy. You're not a machine with broken parts. You are a human being with unmet needs."
Thank you for taking the time to understand yourself better and for sharing it with us in such a beautiful way, so that we can all grow together.
So true Irene. We all feel the same things, even though those feelings oftentimes leave us feeling isolated and abnormal.
thank you so much for the quote
Bro literally nobody wants to talk to me nobody cares to get to know me
And this has been going on for 2 years now
And i hate it
@@brusqve5965 Ok, think about this:
If you feel like this, don't you think a lot of other people around you also feel like this?
We humans are very narcissistic creatures.
Also due to this negative thoughts you have going on, it might send out signals to other people that you don't want to be approached or are interested.
Awareness is key.
You got this! don't stop trying :)
@@High_Gain_Pity_Party thank you
Wow, amazing comments and feedback in the comment section. Thank you so much for taking the time to watch and share your thoughts!
Edit: consider giving the video a like if you want to help spread this message.
It hasn't been 20 minutes since you uploaded. How come there is so much feedback already?
Darling people - please notice the difference between the words "alone" and "lonely" they are separated for a reason. You can be lonely when you are alone, you can be lonely when you are not alone, you can be alone yet not lonely. I posted this in a comment but I feel like more people will see this here and I think its important, so sorry for doubling
"Curing loneliness", it isn't just about learning to enjoy being alone, is it? One might long for deep connection to others, even when enjoying the time they spend alone, and call that desire for meaningful interaction loneliness
Gave it a like and linked it to some friends. I really liked the length of this video, it gave you time to go into detail on the nuances of loneliness. Which is something a 5 minute video could never do.
This is fantastic work! Thank you!
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”
― Plato
Not everyone, some people are just plain assholes... but I understand your point.
Mari Plato has been dead for a while
@@Mari-hb5do Assholes are assholes for a reason. Just because someone is an asshole doesn’t mean that their life is easier than everyone else’s. In fact, sometimes it can be the opposite.
Also, being an asshole to an asshole isn’t going to make them any less of an asshole. Being kind to them at least includes the chance that they will feel touched by your compassion and therefore learn to be more compassionate themselves. I agree with Plato here wholeheartedly. There’s no good reason to ever be an asshole in general to anyone.
@@douloureux. Underrated reply, lol.
I've understood the value of people and the value of being alone. The ones who have the patience to wait for sensible people instead of desperately looking for someone, are the ones who truly become stronger from within. The rest create a temporary group of what they know, is a dead end group.
Awesome phrase. I have had that feeling and you just put it into words.
This resonated with me so much. Thank you for putting it into words 🙌
It is true but it's easier said then done!! I really resonate with that sentence but sometimes I regret of being that way. It is easier to follow the other path ....
This is so true!
So true.
I just have unmet needs. That social prescription idea is brilliant. I didn't think of that. I always assume it's my fault, in my head, something broken, but it isn't. This made me cry, thank you.
Love your newfound perspective! There's absolutely nothing wrong with you, I'm currently in a coffee shop full of people and still I feel alone in a way. Good wishes meeting those needs :)
This is a really good video
honestly, you should start a podcast series about talking about real, detrimental issues!!! i really love this - its so relevant to me and I'm super thankful to realize I'm not alone.
"Your pain makes sense" hit really hard
Loneliness is sometimed provoked by the lack of purpose. When you truthfully ask yourself what’s meaningful in your life and you start working towards that, there will be no time for your brain to feel lonely.
Agreed. Many people, including me, are struggling right now to really sit down and ask ourselves what we actually want. Instead, I tend to distract myself with other people or meaningless tasks. This is a great reminder. Thank you!
What if I find everything meaningless?
Do you think people have predefined purposes? Like, everyone have their own since they were born? Or do you think they make it up along the way?
That's not loneliness that's your sense of purpose
@@DoubleOhSilver Still it can affect loneliness. How can you possibly feel lonely when you are completely immersed in your life missions?
You are PAVING the way, Nathaniel Drew! Such an inspiring individual. LOVE this video and your new mini-doc series :)
“Stop chasing perfection, it's not as perfect as it looks.”
Ty
Guys don't say "accept loneliness", "embrace loneliness", "enjoy your own company you don't need anyone", don't listen to random quotes from whoever that you find on the internet, loneliness isn't your friend and doing those won't do you any good, we just have to try and be more social and find the right person, i know that it can be hard and stressful stepping out of your comfort zone in fear of being hurt again but you have to try, spending time with family really worked out for me and completely freed me from the feeling of loneliness and for the first time in a long time i felt like i was finally free from it, and i've also met very nice people through them
My family won’t work, but your words made me feel less lonely and are giving me hope. I am surrounded by people but there’s nobody I would feel comfortable asking for a hug on a bad day.
@@ablurida me too :(
@@ablurida Why wouldn't your family work? Are you not in a good relationship with them or is it something else? And try to find out why you are lonely or feeling negative, do you have like a problem you can't talk about with anyone or something else? If so feel free to tell me about it, by the way you're gorgeous looking if you allow me to notice (if that's you on the profile pic)
@@salamilid4125 Have you tried spending some time with family?
Family is toxic.
This is a really good video
Omg it's yes or no
Omg Taylor girl! Hi how you doing :)?!?!?
@@SalvadorThe4th hi! i’m going very good and you?
Wow! I was wondering about your channel the other day at work. I used to watch your videos all the time. Until you got a bf lol.
Not going to lie -- when I saw your older loneliness video on my home screen I pushed it off and didn't watch it (unusual for your vids). I guess I was trying to deny something, not sure. This video was exactly what I didn't know I needed. Thanks Nathaniel!
Same. I kept trying to deny it but I forced myself to watch this vid and it helped a lot
...
When I heard “you’re a human with unmet needs”, this overwhelming wave of sadness washed over me. I felt relieved, like if it was a sentence I had been waiting my whole life to hear. I felt seen as a human being, recognized as a living entity. In my heart poured all the sadness of the world for everyone and everything. This wave was peaceful, and the pain came calmly. I’m not talking about needs as needs but as our human essence. To be loved, to feel loved, to give ourselves the permission to live, to occupy an environment where we are allowed to thrive, to be authorized to reach our full self. So many in these world do not get this need met, yet it is the base reason of our existence. Thank you for this bubble-popping sentence, it deg deep in my guts and my soul, and I shed one layer to come closer to feeling connected to myself and the universe. You can feel yourself during dissociation yet you know there is something underlyingly wrong, and it is that you are acting like yourself because you know who you are, but are not feeling it, everything passes in front of you and you can’t hold on to anything, let it sink. To Nathaniel and the two experts, my thank you goes to you. To everyone in the world, know that you are loved.
I love this. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability!
That sentence really got me too. And your comment made me feel some sort of company or belonging, just reading someone else having that same experience from those same words, three weeks ago. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I hope you find peace friend.
@@mandohlin Best of luck Amanda!
This is amazing words you put together and written with true feeling ! It means a lot for them who reads your comment, many thanks..
I’m not the only one feeling this way
Self-Awareness has only led to more loneliness for me.
I can relate to what both of you have said so well.
Same. But hang in there.
It’s not necessarily a bad thing. We’re all going through a certain phase or on a certain path for a reason. Even if it hurts to find out what that reason is, in the long run, still going through it to get to the root of things is worth it. Best to do it with someone you can confide in. Someone once told me that everyone is either about to go through a storm, in the middle of a storm, or coming out of a storm. You just have to figure out where you are in the storm. Next, figure out what is the best attitude you need to have in whatever stage of the storm you are.
@@level_ken5231 beautifully said, this reminded me of the song “After the Storm” by Kali Uchis 💕
you are not the only one..
The loneliest feeling one can feel is the acknowledgement of the fact that not even your significant other can fill that empty void in your chest. It's so great that you don't know what to do with it,what plug(friends, family etc.) actually fits it.
It's this awareness that drives us to depression tbh
I really related when she talked about conflict between the desire to connect and the desire to stay disconnected. I am so disconnected from myself but especially everyone else because I purposely push them away...but then I feel alone yet with no desire to want to connect with anyone. It just feels like an obligation, so heavy to me so I am glad she spoke on this and made me feel like Im not the worst person in the world for being unable to have this desire to build relationships with people
I feel the same
The feeling of loneliness can sometimes be very difficult to overcome. I think deep down we all want to look for or be found by people that we can really connect with and have a purpose in life that fulfils us. BTW in New Zealand it’s Mental Health Awareness Week, and so just a friendly reminder to check in with yourself and those around you - it’s okay to not be okay ❤️I love your videos and you inspired me to start my own channel! Keep up the great work!
💕💕
*Being lonely is actually underrated. It's a great way to discover who you truly are*
that's - in my eyes - being alone, not lonely. you can be lonely when not alone, you can be alone and still not lonely
Paul Ratiu
What do u think about having a deep conversation?
Agreed. Doing things by yourself without the influences of others can help you realize what you are truly, truly like and to move on from there. You can begin to ask yourself questions and realize who you want to become and have the independence to carry out your plan :)
If you think that then I don’t think you are truly lonely
@@helenxsarah Being lonely is very painful :'(
Some of us were lonely before the pandemic and didn’t realize other people weren’t like this until it hit.
Wow.
Watching your videos makes me feel, I'm watching a Netflix Documentary and just don't want to stop watching. You really make me understand how the world and my mind works and how should I take control of it. Keep making such great videos and inspire us! ❤️
Hard to be too lonely with all those books in the background. When I was in my 20's, my best friends were largely dead authors - I always felt like I carried them around with me.
A 10 day silent retereat really teaches us to be alone and begin to listen and understand all those little voices & emotions inside...... We need this time alone so that we do not misunderstand aloneness with loneliness. 'Loneliness' is not real, it is just a passing emotion and we just need to KNOW how to fulfill all the other little needs that lead us to 'feel' such 'loneliness'. Do not let it lead to depression or anxiety! I appreciate how the pandemic has given this opportunity for people to be alone all by themselves just to make all these observations. There has been some despair, but we are connecting more and mroe to our human side vs oru doer side. *** WE GOT THiS!
eye opening
Been feeling very lonely over the past 2 years, it became harder late last year when my brother who was the only one who regularly visited my place died. I got really depressed and disconnected , but am slowly trying to feel better and looking to form a a good support base
Wish you the best!
Go out and meet some people
@@elisscaliving4776 yeah started doing tht earlier this month... wen quarantine was lefted in my town.... was even invited for a soccer game by a bunch of guys this week
Thank you for making this video Nathan!
Thank you for recommending it Max!
@@borabobo qqqqqa
@@eivindnerberg1121 ok
If you can get through being lonely, you can get through anything!
Strong words!
I would recommend the book "Braving the Wilderness" by Brené Brown. We always brave the world by ourselves (alone), but at the same time, we are connected to humanity on a higher level. Acknowleding this helped me a lot. I actually LOVE being alone as it allows my creativity to flow and I can truly connect to my being. I also love going on walks alone, sitting down for coffee alone, etc. I can always remind myself that I am my own person and that I am connected to humanity. There is a difference between socializing and human connection. That latter I can find by simply drinking a coffee in my favorite bookstore, saying hi to people on the street, or visiting my family. For me that is how I live from a place of abundance (feeling full of live - connected) instead of scarcity (never enough - loneliness).
Your comment was enlightening.
This video is so important, the story about the rice farmer made me burst into tears haha, the part when he asked what did they do? And the people just went and listened to him to help solve his problem. And that depression and anxiety don't make you weak or broken, they just point you in the direction of what you need. I also have struggled with disassociation pretty hardcore and i am so glad they mentioned that, i was turning off all my feelings and being totally unaware of my environment, then getting angry at myself for not doing enough. I am a beginner at understanding myself and trying to change for the better in a kind and positive way, videos like this really help concrete new concepts in my head. so good thank you for making this!!
Hi! I love your art 🖤🌈✨
"You also need to feel you are sharing something with the other person that is meaningful to both of you"- that got me teared up and explained something for me that I hadn't had the words for yet. Thank you for this very well done video, Nathaniel.
I actually found this video inspiring. I started to cry a little at certain times because, since I had been diagnosed with Major Depression and General Anxiety at age 13, there have been many psychiatrists and many psychologists/therapists in my life and none of them have addressed it like this.
Though I currently have a great therapist that I do phone sessions with at this chaotic time, she has advised me to analyze which feelings are real and which feelings I’m conditioned to feel because I’m used to it; ie. I guess I’m supposed to differentiate between which of my emotions are accurate in my everyday life as if some feelings are fake or invalid. This might be me misinterpreting her meaning, but this is how I saw it after watching this video.
I cried because for the first time in a long while, I feel like my emotions and fears are valid. Like I have a reason that I feel this way and it’s possible to help assuage the negativity. The fact that it is indeed possible to see the hope through my hopeless times just makes me cry because it’s been so difficult for me to imagine my life without a million prescribed meds and feeling so anxious having to do a job outside the house, and having to interact with people, that I got sick every morning after I got to work. I’d both be vomiting and having a bad case of diarrhea. Many times I got so sick I had to go home. Eventually they let me go due to these increasing effects from anxiety. I actually felt relieved that I didn’t have to go to a job that didn’t seem to appreciate me in the first place despite me doing everything I was told and getting a lot of work done when I was told. If some day I could get a job in which I don’t feel this way, I’ll be ecstatic.
To have a life nearly free of the noise machine in my head and being able to get to the root of a problem and learn how I can help fix it, to learn how to be the adult that I am, and not get too distracted by my own thoughts (just happened now: was thinking about a song by Julian Lennon... 😬 ) so that I can accomplish the things that are important to me. And also to be able to help other people accomplish their most important things by just being there to cheer them on or give them a hand up. Little things make a difference.
And these experts are correct; let’s normalize compassion.
Holly Fiore, my work experience got better once I saw jobs as personal challenges and began to interact with difficulties on the job as somehow either doable and solvable or not for me. I have taken many assessments to learn more about how I naturally am inclined to get things done. I made it a project to actually write down these things and study the problems I have at work, and I organized what I was good at and what I wanted to figure out, and it was sort of like organizing my clothes drawers. I made it as tactile as I could since work problems tend to be quite abstract. And I drew cartoons and made “lists” but I put my name in the middle of all the things because I’m the one that I’m making progress for. So it was my name circled in the center of the page with lines connected to each challenge.
At one time, all my challenges had their own set of challenges, so it was a lot but the point of putting it all down helped me to realize that I could meet the challenges by tackling one at a time to come up with strategies or different approaches to solving problems. And it was interesting. So now I do the same process for a lot of things.
Confession: I don’t love my job. However I do love many parts of my job. And this makes the parts I don’t like easier to deal with.
katherandefy
Thank you for the suggestions. I appreciate you taking the time to explain your process.
Although, with regard to being organized... lol ... I’m so disorganized that I’m terrible at folding clothes neatly and terrible at keeping things in their place; everything ends up jumbled together to the point where I get overwhelmed and I put things down because I don’t have the patience or the motivation to be organized. Things stay cluttered quite often needless to say. But if I’m beyond overwhelmed, I get help from a family member. Sometimes that works well. Very rarely do I get the sudden energy and urge to go around and straighten things up.
But, maybe I could give your idea a try the next time I have to tackle something large.
Thank you again.
What a beautiful video. The story about the farmer that Johann told made me tear up. One of my friends has been struggling with depression for years, tried so many drugs and nothing is working for her - she is on a brink of checking into a psychiatric hospital. I'll definitely read the book - hoping I can help her.
This comment made my heart swell with warmth. If only all depressed people could have a friend like you that care so much about their friends well being, they look for resources for the resources to help them. She’s lucky to have you! I hope she is at ease soon!
Love this type of longer videos! It's quality is really impressive! You're an inspiration to me and my own channel, keep creating amazing content!
I love the quality too
everytimr i feel depressed at night i rewatch the interview towards the middle of the video. i am not weak i am not a robot with broken parts i’m a human with unmet needs
Have you read his book yet?
miguel arias not yet i rlly want to get it
Rea Lenihan I just read the previews of it after I messaged you about it and I couldn’t put it down.
Still sad society we r operating in I just want to go somewhere else I will be happy forever
Emsie Eises hang in there, things are definitely more challenging than ever but you are not alone always remember that.
Darling people - please notice the difference between the words "alone" and "lonely" they are separated for a reason. You can be lonely when you are alone, you can be lonely when you are not alone, you can be alone yet not lonely.
Nathaniel, you’re an inspiration to youtubers everywhere. Hello from Atlanta, GA!
Agree
'your pain makes sense' - I love that quote!
Omg I love that you are including Dr. Nicole Lepera. I love her work.
Amazing video Nathaniel. Lost Connections is a great book. As is Chasing The Scream. Which has a lot of the same underlying themes. Looking forward to seeing what you’ve got lined up for the future! Great videos so far
Esto me marco:
*Si te sientes depresivo, ansioso*
No eres débil, no estás loco, no eres una máquina con partes rotas.
Tu dolor tiene razón:
Eres un ser humano con necesidades insatisfechas.
Tenemos que dejar de insultar estás señales(ansiedad, depresión,ect) y empezar a escucharlas, porqué no están diciendo algo que necesitamos escuchar.
Los seres tienen necesidades físicas naturales:
-Necesitamos alimentos, -necesitamos agua, -necesitamos vivienda, -necesitamos aire fresco.
Y si te quitara esas cosas estarías rápidamente en serios problemas.
Pero al igual que tenemos estás necesidades físicas naturales, hay pruebas de que también tenemos necesidades psicólogicas naturales:
-Tienes que sentir que perteneces.
-Tienes que sentir que tú vida tiene un significado y propósito.
Desde mi punto de vista nuestro día debería de tener:
1.Crecimiento (✓ )
2.Experiencias ( )
3.Contribucion ( )
En mi caso, necesito:
1.Sentir que aporto valor a la vida de la otras personas, la razón es que charlo con muchas personas durante el día acerca de algo que le aporte valor a la otra persona o que nos aporte valor y nos haga crecer juntos.
2.Cultivar la consciencia, consciencia es estar presente en el momento, tener tus sentidos completamente receptivos y abiertos a lo que está pasando.
¿Cómo?
Poner alarmas aleatorias para poder: *Ser consciente de tu mundo exterior* preguntándome:
Escuchando y sientiendo tu mundo exterior:
(Relaja tu cara)
-¿Qué escuchas? (Concéntrate en el sonido y como viaja hacia tí.)
-¿Qué hueles?
-¿Qué saboreas? (Desliza tu lengua al rededor de tus dientes superiores o golpea tu paladar con tu lengua)
-Que sientes en tu cuerpo? ¿En qué parte o partes?
-¿Que vez?
*Ser consciente de tu mundo interior*
Observa tus pensamientos, preguntándote:
¿Estoy pensando?
¿Que estoy pensando?
No solo hay que pasar tiempo con las personas sino que hay conectar con ellas.
Genio, ¿Cómo estás?
*If you ever feel lonely, watch a horror movie. After a while, you won't feel like you're alone. 😂*
Lmao
😂😂😂
And then what? If I watch a horror movie everytime I feel lonely, then I'd be watching a horror movie 3 times per day
😂😂😂
This made me laugh, thank you :)
For all people that lack speaking to people sharing experiences and emotions, VR-chat really helped me. I am a pretty shy personality which is scared to open up and doing things irl like going out for drinks for example. After a while of going into vr i was used to talk to people on the daily bases and one day i thaught hey yk what?, atleast try to go out and challanged myself. I said to myself "i mean if u get to scared just go out of the club and go home". So i went in sat alone and wierd at the bar and ordered some drinks. But obviously nothing gonna happen when you dont make the first move. So i went to a group of people told them my story and they was really nice about it. We all had a very fun time and exchanged phone numbers. These were then later my first friends that i made after school and i am 23 years old.
I started University online this fall and I have never felt so lonely. I have some friends that are still in town but it's been tough. I guess it's just knowing that this time of year is when you meet new people and make new friends and instead I'm at home doing homework. Lecture. Work. Sleep. Work. Lecture. Over and over and over.
I started studying online this September too and I'm going through the same, so I feel you! The online platform for my degree has a part for students to exchange though, and some created whatsapps groups. It helps to have some support, and to share difficulties. So if you got the chance to do something similar, it could be a good start :)
This completely hits home for me.. I’ve always felt like I belonged nowhere. I never found my people, I love my friends but I don’t have anyone that I connect in a deep sense. I don’t have anyone I can talk about everything and anything.. I don’t now where to look either.
Ok, these comments are just sad. No don't say accept loneliness, depression or anxiety no they say fight the root cause. And the root cause is that we don't act on it, we need real connections with people around us. Emotional connection with them. So yes accept the feeling and dont judge yourself on it. But ACT on it. Find your tribe.
If you've heard of johann hari's podcast with matt d'avella, thats one of the most amazing podcast I've come across and everytime I listen to him telling this story, it makes more sense. This one advice that I've been following for years is that "In order for me to be well with other, I need to look out for my well being" and I've come so far and I still am looking for more answers. After this video what I've understood is "craving for human connection is not being desperate, its q necessity," and one of the greatest lesson im taking with me ❤🙏
I rarely comment on videos on RUclips, but I had to on this one. Nathaniel, I have been following your channel for a while (roughly for the past 18 months). I have seen the quality of your content improve continuously. However, this video hit me on a whole new level. The quality of this one is INSANE. The insights that these experts gave were eye-opening. I’m excited to keep following your channel and to see what content you’re going to put out next! Keep up the great work man! 👍🏼
And to everyone reading this: better times will come. This virus won’t last forever, your personal hardships won’t last forever. I’m grateful that technology offers the possibility to engage and connect in these online communities with like-minded people all over the world. Sending mucho love from The Netherlands to wherever you’re watching from! ❤️🇳🇱
Downloading the audiobook right now! I know so many people that are going through anxiety and depression these days. I can’t wait to learn more about how to help them, just like others helped me when I had panic attacks and they didn’t go away until I changed my life radically. I love your content. You have a way to connect with all of us and make us feel connected with each other too. You’re not just building a channel, you’re building a tribe ✊🌎🌏🌍
Hi! I’m currently having pretty debilitating panic attacks. What worked for you?!
Crystal Munoz I just had one yesterday, after 5 years, I even lost my sight and hearing for like 20 minutes, it was that bad. My husband and I are taking care of a stray kitten, the only good news this 2020. She licked off ear drops that the vet gave us and got poisoned and she’s in critical condition right now. We still haven’t heard from the vet. This year is too much and that was the last straw, but my panic attack was the shortest I’ve had, cuz I used to have a lot years ago. And they were bad. Like “call an ambulance I think Adrián’s dying” bad. I’ve been practicing mindfulness meditation consistently every morning and every night since January. I recommend the use of guided meditations and apps like Ten Percent Happier (they have podcasts too). It used to take me hours to connect with my breath until I’d calm down, it took me 30 minutes this time. Also pulling over (I was in a car while my husband was driving from the vet) and lying on the ground in nature. Mindfulness daily practice is very powerful. I didn’t even know how to actually be totally calm and sleep well and let things be and stop controlling life and my thoughts until this year, at 32 years of age. Accepting that we don’t have the power, but that we can control our cool, our peace, is the key. But it’s a resource that needs to be practiced daily. You need to start small, 5 guided minutes and increase the minutes over time. It’s changed my life. Sorry for the long explanation. I suck at summarizing. Hope that helps! ☮️💟🧘🏻♂️🤞🤗 There’s great books out there, about Buddhism with backed up science, leaving all the woowoo and religiousness aspects of it aside. I don’t believe in god or some external power that creates events and writes our history. Buddhism is about inner peace, psychology and spirituality understood as oneness. We all came from that same big bang and the math and science behind life, the fact that you and I were born and are connecting with each other right now, and how unlikely that is in mathematical terms, that’s spiritual enough for me. I’m thankful for the life I have and I’m thankful for every moment, even the ugly ones like my panic attack yesterday, cuz that’s my body telling me somethings wrong and I don’t have to fight it, I need to just accept it, observe what happens to my human body with curiosity and kindness and focus on my breath, cuz that’s all we have. As the Buddha said: “this too shall pass”. You’ll look back at your panic attacks as life lessons one day Crystal 😉
Adrián Casallo Adrián Casallo Adrián Casallo Thank you for the long thoughtful and lovely message! I didn’t mind one bit because like you, I also struggle with summarizing things lol.
I’m sorry to hear about your kitty being in critical condition! I hope she is ok very soon. She is lucky to have been rescued by loving caring people! Pleas let me know what happens. She will be in my thoughts!
I’m sorry you had another panic attack after being panic free for so long. It most definitely has been a tough year for everyone but even more so on the already anxious and ones that struggle as it is.
You and I seem to have a good bit in common. I’m also 32 and these panic attacks just started two weeks ago, the only other time I’ve had them was when I was 16 for a while but never like this, or when I fly. Thankfully I am feeling a bit calmer and more normal bit by bit this week. The funny thing is I was just so so exhausted by not being able to feel like my normal self and not being able to even sleep bc of the panic that I pleaded and prayed with god to help me. Ever since I’ve felt much better, not 100% but better. I’ve lived all my life (well since I’ve been able to think about creation and religion) as an agnostic so I’m not sure what to do with this or if it’s related at all, I just appreciate feeling better. I guess it’s something I need to delve into again, process my beliefs in that department, reflect and so on.
I’ve also really connected to parts of Buddhism as well. So if you have any books you’d like to recommend, like the ones backed by science without the woowoo I would greatly appreciate it. One of my favorites that is based with Buddhism teachings is Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach.
Yes, meditation and mindfulness have definitely helped me when I’ve been overly anxious but as we both know, panic attacks are an overflow of anxiety and they aren’t fun at all. Once you have one, it’s like you live in fear to have another. The funny thing is I do daily meditation and yoga and I still got this immense panic attacks. So now I’m just trying to do what I can. I’m thinking it had to do with my slight vertigo. It sounds crazy, I know. I f you’re interested, I got this book called Dare: the new way to stop anxiety and panic attacks after doing a good bit of research on which one helped people the most. I haven’t gotten very far yet, but I can see why it’s helped people that suffer with panic so much. The guy that wrote it used to suffer from it too.
Anyway, I’m thankful we connected, even if for a brief moment, but hopefully not. You and your husband sound like great friends to have. :)
Crystal Munoz thanks for the book suggestion. I added “dare” to my wish list on audible. It sounds interesting.
For me what really works is breathing and accepting that it’s happening, that it’s okay, that it’s going to disappear eventually, that I’m not alone, that I have people who love me and people who I love, that things are not my fault, that I don’t have the power to control everything and that’s okay... just happy thoughts in general. I take it as a life lesson, something is not okay, my body is revolting and I need to focus on my breath and when I calm down I’ll be able to think about what’s in my power to change. Can I make someone smile or feel like they matter to me? What can I do? What needs to change? Am I lonely? Should I get better at connecting? Change jobs? House? Relationships? It’s a very personal work, but we gotta repeat happy thoughts to ourselves like mantras: I am strong, I am enough, I am alive, I am worth it, it’s gonna be okay. Here’s a few more book recommendations: the subtle art of not giving a fuck, waking up (Sam Harris), why Buddhism la true (Robert wright) and the biology of belief (by Bruce H. Lipton). Next time it happens, just focus on your breath. Count four on the inhale and eight on the exhale. We all need to slow the F down XD. Our brains are racing way faster than they’re capable of. We’re not machines, we are part of nature ;). The biology and evolution of our brain hasn’t caught up to how fast everything is changing around us. We’ve gone from tribes to cities and smart phones overnight in biological terms. We’re doomed if we forget how to just be and relax. It’s our duty as a species 😀
@@aDRiaNCaSaLLo My god, it's like you're inside my brain lol. You explained everything so eloquently and simply. I completely agree with everything you said, I think some humans are affected more so than others(myself included), but overall humanity will prosper the more connected to nature that we are. & Yes, technology and social media can bring beautiful positive things to our culture (connection to those far from us, etc, & valuable information, like this channel ), but if we let the certain illusion it creates overtake other important areas in our lives, then that's where all the problems arise. I feel like I should print out parts of this comment to ground me in times of emotional distress. Sometimes the simplest mindset is the most beneficial. I'll check out those books too. Thank you for taking the time to connect. Love and light and I hope the kitty is ok!
Thank you, i'm going through a really hard and chronicle, it gets stronger and stronger every time, i'm anxious of not being loved, i fear death with no one thinking about me, i want to be loved to.
I even thought of suicide, and i was in a really bad shape i'm talking about drugs, alcohol, smoking etc...
I hope it works for everyone that fights, that suffers from the pain of this monstrous thing. Good luck to everyone, keep fighting !!
Im stuck with my family and would like to live alone in peace, as a introverted person it's kinda like hell
Lol
same!
I get you my family is so judgmental. except my dad. They're attacking me all the time I'm tired
@@sleverlight i hope you'll be better eventually
@@nirau Thank you
People are more lonely and depressed because of so many reasons.
People have noticed life is meaningless and has absolutely no purpose. Life isn’t going anywhere and is absurd.
People are recognizing more and more how the world is, politics, that things won’t change no matter who you vote for
Studying and being competent are no guarantee of anything, as far as financial future and achievements are concerned. Actually being competent can bring you problems.
A lot of people feel more and more miserable due to their slavery to the virtual world and the black mirror and they don’t know how to escape from it.
All that and people don’t know how to deal with all these issues. These are some of the reasons why people are feeling like they are nowadays. Well, add to that the year 2020 and you have basically everything.
wow, thank you for creating this video. Loneliness and anxiety are a pandemic that impacts so many people, yet it's never talked about or seen as taboo. Thanks for taking the time to create awareness!
Always alone but NEVER lonely.
Story of my life
The worst of all is being surrounded by people who makes you feel lonely
Oh man I feel ya on that one. Definitely the worst.
We feel lonely because we haven’t learned to enjoy our own company. There can be solace in solitude if you allow it.
I agree Reyna
My non-scientific opinion is that loneliness has less to do with being comfortable in your self and more to do with feeling a lack of love/connnection with other people
Yes!!
Well yes, I suppose feelings of loneliness are triggered more easily in individuals who have a lower threshold for tolerating time alone, which we can learn to enjoy, as you said. However, I feel I should point out that even if one has learned to enjoy their own company one can still feel lonely due to a lack of social connections, which is a need that would not be covered by the enjoyment of time alone.
You can enjoy your own company and still feel lonely due to not being able to share your interests with someone that matters to them as much as it does to you . So we need both the social connection and solitude as well .
"if you're depressed and anxious, your pain makes sense" i didn't know how much i needed to hear this and it might be something we all know on a deeper level but it was nice to hear it/be validated
I agree, I cried!
Jonathan hari’s book lost connections really gave me so much insight into the environmental ways in which we can buffer the effects of Loneliness as well as depression. Thank you for making this video because we all have to be real with ourselves during this period in history. I feel that I transcended to such a better place after watching it
I think self-awareness, and even more importantly, self-compassion are key in addressing and overcoming loneliness. The catch is- as you've discussed in many of your videos, they're both very hard to build and cultivate 😅. Not that this can be simplified in anyway, but I've learned that by improving my own self-awareness (mostly through meditation), I'm more capable of observing my thoughts and feelings, and using those observations to determine if I need to reach out to someone else for connection or help. Where self-compassion comes in, is to have the ability to acknowledge those thoughts and feelings, and NOT judge myself for them- no matter what they may be. Self-compassion has also helped me see that it is not weakness to need or ask for help. And again, as everyone in the video emphasized, this is not easy. The human experience is so complex. I personally would not be where I am today on my "consciousness journey" without the help of my loved ones as well as my therapist- and I know there will always be more to learn lol.
Very eloquently put. 😊
Your comment is silly, the r people out there litterly suffering from loneliness so stop with the nity witty we all need connection its human nature
Making real meaningful connections with like minded people is the hardest thing to do in this world
Nate, I just want to sincerely recognize the greatness of your content. It just keeps getting better. The way you put it all together just makes sense in every video of yours that I watch. It always gets stuck into my heart.
The story at 7:55 really resonated with me, to the point where I broke from my tired, half concentrating gaze to fully aware, tearing up and my hair standing on end. It makes sence.
It really does. And for other people that have struggled with depression or anxiety, I hope it resonates with them too. I want everyone to know that they aren't alone because in this world we need more people to become alive and live and thrive and be joyous for the amazing moments and opportunities we have during our short stay on this planet.
My feelings exactly!!
You took this video to another level. Well done and very important message.
Absolutely love this documentary. These topics are so important yet not many people are talking about them. Loneliness is an extremely confusing feeling when you're surrounded by people- and you shed light on just that. Keep up the amazing and insightful content, looking forward to the next video :)
I am in a loss of words. Exactly what I have been feeling. My therapist told me the same thing, to write down my thoughts every few hours to be aware of what I am feeling. I guess it's a long way to go but I would do anything to get out of this mental space. Thank you for making this video. I feel less lonely today ❤️
“ I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.
- Edgar Allan Poe
Great work Nathaniel , very insightful video indeed! 🤔👽💡
pay attention "Awareness"
Practice consciousness in daily life,
Nurture good human connections
All human emotions are valid
It's nice to know that lost connections is probably the real cause of depression, but if you don't have a lot of friends to start with, it makes it even more depressing sometimes
I really appreciate this video so much. I’ve been feeling lonely and lost. Thanks you so much for some clarity.
Been very hard honesty, hope you are ok
Been in lockdown so long I dont even know what I feel anymore..
Here for you! God bless
You don't have to be a victim to lockdown. You can choose to respond in ways that bring you alive, it just takes a bit more effort!
Wow, I got so emotional and goosebumps in this video. This was SO meaningful to me, Nathaniel. I thank you to the bottom of my heart. ❤️ It made a LOT of sense to me and gave me a lot of clarity
It's a sad time for everyone with Covid!! So much has changed, and for me not working with kids anymore is hard!! I need to figure out life after so long of doing what I loved. I think your wonderful, and how you will be helping so many people!🙂
Can I just say, thank you? All this time I'm been struggling to connect with people and feeling empty inside and not knowing how to fill it. Now I know why I always feel distant from people, and lonely most of the time. You've shown me a path I can start working towards, things are finally starting to make more sense. Thank you! I'll be making regular visits back to this video to remind myself of this.
Thank you so much for this video. “You are not a machine with broken parts. You are a human being with unmet needs”.
Pfiou. I teared up. And breathed a little easier.
I also love that you filmed yourself intently listening. It was like a seeing myself in a mirror. 💙
Your content is so such a blessing.
Who else liked before watching 😃
Love your contents man. Love the cinematic look and I love the message you're passing.
Me !
ive slit my wrist because of loneliness before. its a horrible feeling that i cant describe. i feel like no one loves me and no one ever will
Nathaniel your videos are helping me getting through quarantine things are so bad in Brasil.thank you so much
Nathaniel, thank you for this beautiful video. Before watching this I had been trying ways to improve how I was feeling. What I found was similar to one of the stories that was shared, developing a garden. What I did this past week was go out and get my hands dirty in my garden. I found after weeding, turning the soil, planting seeds, I was feeling better. Usually in less than an hour.
I’m going to continue doing to see how I feel each day. Keep making videos like this. This one validated what I was finding out about myself.
Thank you again!
This deserves so many more views >_
I've noticed how I yearn to connect yet loose direction when I think on how to connect. It seems easier as an idea yet to perform it seems so much harder! The span of time people take to open up and the span of time they take to curl back in at the sight of differences is slow and fast. Your insights are always to simple to grasp. Would you talk about it one day too?.. Thanks for this one nonetheless!
Incredible content, exactly what the world needs right now. These edits are just getting cleaner and cleaner. My man. 👏🏽
Things that CAN raise your vibration / improve your life
-Try to drink a gallon of water a day
-Meditation
-Not relying on anyone else for happiness
-Loving yourself
-Sungazing
-Vent to yourself
-Working out
-HIIT (some type of cardio)
-Reading books
-Semen retention / Nofap
-Protect your sexual energy (females)
-Having a leader mentality
-Cold showers
-Eating less
-Chew food slower
-Fasting
-Waking up/ sleeping earlier
-Having/ expressing gratitude for EVERYTHING
-Cutting out fast food
-Eat to LIVE , not for pleasure (natural foods, no need to feel obligated to go vegan or vegetarian tho)
-Not comparing yourself to others
-Only compete with yourself
-Affirmations
-Going outside (in nature )
-Get some sun
-Not caring what others think
-Give / contribute more to the world
-Focus on you, go within
-Breathing in from your nose
-Cut out sugary drinks
-Wim Hoff breathing
-“OM” Chanting
-Stoicism
-Minimalism
-Express yourself with art (music, drawing, poetry, etc)
-Practice a martial art
-Have a balance between being alone and having social company
-Having an open mind and be aware of what you’re doing/ using your time and energy for
-Cleaning your room (MAKE YOUR BED)
-Use social media / electronics less
-No phone (electronics ) 1-2 hrs before bed
-Try not to use electronics first thing in morning
-Sober lifestyle
-Journaling
-Writing down dreams
-Getting 7-8 hrs of sleep
-Taking Herbs: blackseed oil, haritaki, sea moss
-Take vitamins
-Have faith
-Speak less
-Spend less time with toxic people
-Full body stretches / Yoga
-Sleep on back (face to ceiling ) to strengthen spine
-Have good posture
-Listen to 432hz music
-Listen to chakra frequencies: (396, 417, 528, 639, 741, 852, 963)
-Use fluoride-free toothpaste
-Ground yourself (walk barefoot in nature )
-Clap your hands more
-Dance more
-Use left hand more (using right side of brain)
-Stop fighting against ego and work TOGETHER
-Eliminate fear of death (have no fear all together)
-Realize you’re a soul inside a body having a physical experience
-Smile and laugh more
Just some advice from what I’ve been doing. Please consider to try out at least 1 of the things from this list.
(Feel free to screenshot this list if you want)
If there’s anything you’d add to this list, comment below ‼️
Just here to provide value to the people who need it. If it’s your first time seeing this, the universe wanted you to see this💜
This video is incredibly well produced!! Truly amazing! :)
Where are the lonely people? I have a burning desire to meet someone who says to me: ''I feel lonely too''. To finally feel the possibility of true connection. (P.S. I'm a Dutchman living in the north of the country). Any advice?
I feel this is something that should come naturally in a new friendship, where people feel confident to share their feelings. I for one have never been confident to talk about feelings openly, its easier to type them out on the internet. P.S. - I'm not a dutchman but live in the south of the country :)
I feel you ! (mede Nederlandse hier)
Hi I’m lonely too. I’m not a Dutch man. I’m a USA lady. Lonely people, maybe we should establish a chat to be a tiny bit less lonely?
Let's all connect with each other..so help ease our pain
This is an S-tier video. So much good psychology packed into 20 minutes. Nice job bringing in multiple experts to accentuate your message!
I needed this video. Thank you. Covid has really put a toll on loneliness and emotions.
To people saying that being comfortable with yourself will solve loneliness - not necessarily. I'm bloody confident with myself but being put in government isolation for 2 weeks damn near broke me 😅
LOL
It won't necessarily always solve it but it can greatly mitigate feelings of loneliness. You will only hurt yourself when you strongly desire connections with other people when it's not available. I would say having meaningful connections can have a huge positive impact on your life but I still wouldn't go as far and say that you are bound to be miserable and lonely for the rest of your life if you don't have friends. In my opinion social connections are the closest thing to a necessity among things that aren't a necessity.
I've actually found I'm in some ways I'm closer than ever with people given that everyone is now opening up about who they truly are, problems and all
You are one of my most admired people. Thank you for being a spokesman. You can change the image of "the lonely".
Omg this is incredible, I’ve been battling depression for years and I still feel like I haven’t got any where. This video felt like someone reaching out to me and holding my hand. Wow I’m so blown away. Please make more videos about depression and anxiety
Online contact, even worse if it is one-sides, is just no replacement for real social contact... :/ On the other hand, the right kind of solitude is incredibly nice
LOL i was lonely before the pandemic
😂😭same
Yes!!! Thank you for normalizing feeling loneliness in our more than ever “connected world”.
This video made me sob, it made me feel so so validated and understood. I’m a huge fan of yours and Dr.Nicole’s so it was really cool to see her on here.
Johann Hari hit the nail on the head and he’s a breath of fresh air. We need more people like him in the psych field! It’s the first I’ve heard depression and anxiety being referred to as having unmet needs and it blew mymind because it’s so true!! Thank you thank you for challenging the status quo, this video is gold.
I can’t wait to read Johann Hari’s book!!!
Thank you for this video. Loneliness & depression has hit me hard lately. I los my little dog in October... & realized how important she was in my life. This having to stay away from people with the virus has me exhausted You can’t go anywhere or see other people. I need to find myself again.
My type of loneliness is the fear of not being able to find my loving wife and being able to be with her because of different I am.
no shame in being lonely. Everyone feels it as some time or other
I watched it, not because i felt lonely, just because i wanted to hear Experts opinion and then i realized i am soo disconnected, i don't know how to feel i just know I'm supposed to feel something
Definitely will apply the tips that Dr Nicole said, in my life in hope to connect 🤗 thank you so much for this video
8:51 "You need to feel you belong. You need to feel your life has meaning and purpose. You need to feel people see you and value you."
This is exactly what I needed. It’s midnight and I was about to search “for when you’re lonely”
Same , it’s 3am here and I’m like - loneliness hits
I didn’t understand completely what she was saying so if you could put subtitiles would help me a lot. Because this video came exactly when I need it.
Hey Yuri, I found this, and I might know how to solve this, you can add the subtitle on that video by clicking that square little tools next to the setting tools (gear wheel shape) on the bottom of the right corner of the video, after that custom the language you are comfortable with, I hope it will help, have a good day and stay happy and healthy :)
which language?
Hasby Ghoni Asiddiqi ok, I’ll try 😅
eto owl english already help me 😂