My husband proposed to me…and I rolled my eyes! | Reddit Stories
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 25 авг 2024
- Get Exclusive Members-Only Live Streams! / @okopshow
Join our Discord! / discord
🏆 Want ad free podcast episodes? Join our Patreon 👉 / okopshow
✍️ Have a story? Join our subreddit and submit your story there for a chance to be featured! / okopshow
📞 or call us! 440-508-6567
👂 Listen to our podcast here! 👇
🎧 Spotify: open.spotify.c...
🎧 Apple: podcasts.apple...
r/BestofRedditorUpdates - [New Update]: AITA for rolling my eyes at my boyfriend's proposal because it took 25 years of me begging?
r/BestofRedditorUpdates - AITAH for not coming to terms with the fact that my wife cheated on me 14 years ago before our marriage?.
r/TIFU - TIFU by telling a guy I loved him while drunk after he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship
Note: stories are often abbreviated, find the story at the top of the description
#redditstories #reddit #funnyredditposts
OKOP okay op okay storytime ok storytime
First story… is why marriage isn’t just a “piece of paper” this is a cautionary tale.
Story 1: staying in a relationship to be a stay at home mom and take care of four kids and a household is not being a gold digger smh.
Stay at home mom is not an easy job!
Totally under rated and if we got paid for the amount of hours we put in on our job we'd make millions!
W how much child care is nowadays, like easily 1k a month (sometimes per child) plus the cooking and cleaning it is saving money for a lot of households for a parent to stay home.
Not to sound like an incel but i as a man would rather stay at home then wake up everyday at 3:30 and be at work by 5:30am to 4:00pm, fixing machines and Electrical systems all day
@@kzmultiversalstudios4556 why would having a job that makes u happy make u an incel???
As soon as she decided she was done with the transactional nature of the relationship he doubled down on the financial abuse that I heavily assume was already present. 🙄
I feel like he refused to marry her so that whenever she stopped going with whatever he said he could drop her with no repercussions. Meanwhile she's had a lifetime of no work (since no one can take being a stay at home mom into consideration apparently) therefore nobody wants to hire her.
It's not taken into consideration because it does not translate directly into skills that can be used in an office. Unless her job has to do with kids or housekeeping it is completely useless. I am not saying she can't work in an office and learn. It's just can't be considered as experience. She lacked computer skills and technology knowledge, that's like reading nowadays, it's basic, specially in the fields she was looking on, marketing? She even said was looking for social media manager, she didn't even want to deal with apps🙄. She needs to look for something else outside of corporate, and maybe she'll find something
@@alexiatr time management, planning/scheduling, cleaning, cooking, budgeting/money management, hostage negotiations, stocking, inventory, opening/closing. I can think of plenty of ways one can turn stay at home mom into job skills. Half of what I listed was on my resume after working fast food, convenient stores, and hospitality before I went back to being a stay at home mom.
I did find it odd that she didn't want to deal with technology and was trying to do something in social media but it was probably the most available thing as far as remote work went. The story even talks about her trying to get a job at a church daycare. If that isn't childcare and she doesn't have the skills for it after raising 4 kids idk what would fit the criteria.
@@witchdragonfly2586 she couldn't even be bothered to figure out how to use teams/zoom/Google meet or whatever other online meeting app their potential employer wanted to use. What is your list worth, if she can't even learn very basic life skills when required?
Her boyfriend is a massive POS. But she is very obviously a gold digger who found out she had a tiny bit of pride at the most inopportune moment and now has her first reality check after decades of lavish lifestyle ...
How does no one realize the executive boyfriend is a TEXTBOOK NARCISSIST 😭
No self respect.
All I could think listening to that story!
They’ve been together 30 years …….. we didn’t have access to all the pop culture psychology so easily that everyone has to today bc of the internet. She just thought she was getting a smart, hard-working man who had his faults, like everyone else.
He's not a narcissist, he's a sociopath. Not at all uncommon in executive level people.
I feel so sorry for her- as soon as she said “my friend works part time for home for $30/hour” I just knew she was so unaware of how difficult it is to get work without qualifications/work experience. The job market is toughhh.
Her "executive boyfriend" is manipulative and verbally abusive, and pretty sure he's been cheating the entire time,he's saw himself as a" high valued" man and refused to see her part in raising the family and her value in the relatoinship.
...and use the talents you have mama!!!!!!
START your own business Etsy,Amazon( make,grow,photography,Art,Sew type,write a book etc) don't replay on others to pay your bills🥰🥰🥰 you got this and not alone
And financially abusive.
Also has selfish children too she gave up everything for that mam and her kids
@@MsMaryPatricia paint....sew.. start a clean houses, babysitting,podcast, youl be surprised how creative broke people get lol go find day jobs,temp agency, banquet serving, waiting, McDonald's etc
@@toxiczombiewolf5692in part she raised those kids are like that because of her. She taught then social status and the money das provided was the most important abd it caught up to her
The justice system really let down op on the first story
He has money and power to dominate her
Story of 25yr proposal: OP NEEDS A LAWYER NOT A JOB!!!! in most states, especially the southern states, they are common law married and she will be entitled to everything a normal stay-at-home wife would be entitled to. She needs a lawyer NOW!! She sounds like someone who has been in a relationship that was both financially and mentally abusive and is not quite out of the fog. I hope she can learn to love herself and gets some perspective once she gets away from her abuser. Its time to FIGHT. Shes being bullied and shes gonna have to stand and do it the hard way. Shes surrounded by horrible people. Sending love and strength ❤❤❤❤
All of this!!!
the first woman who was a stay at home mom seems like she is a victim of like abuse? I feel horrible for her for trusting that man tho
Yes, you're right. It's textbook financial abuse.
She’s was 100% abused. That’s why it’s pissing me off how many comments are like insulting her and blaming her. This is a textbook case of a woman being manipulated by an abuser and if it was physical abuse instead I bet everyone’s tone would be different
@@emilyjohn2034 I don't blame her but I'm a little bit mad that in THIRTY YEARS she didn't do anything to help make her a better her such as education, hobby that turned into a possible money making venture, etc. I'm not happy with OP in #1 because her youngest is a teen and the other kids are all grown up adults and she still decided to not broaden her horizons. That's what I'm angry about.
@@emilyjohn2034 No, the comments were getting on her cause for 3 posts she was ranting about how she deserved a 6 figure executive career with no work experience and kept turning her nose up and anyone and everyone that gave her reasonable job recommendations.
@@crb8124 that is some insane stretching your doing. She never says she deserves an executive life that’s what the man said he was giving her. And while yes she definitely needs to be willing to learn new technology getting confused by things you don’t understand and not being able to continue is not “being picky about suggestions”
That lady's children are AHs. Help your Mom out, FFS! Shame on them. At the same time I am also angrey with OP. She did absolutely nothing to take care of herself or make a backup plan... for 30 years. And she clearly didn't see she is with a narc ane raised 3 narcs, 1 more to come soon enough.
I am not surprised. They watched how their Dad treated her all their lives. Like she was the bang maid and nothing else. They were also bullied because of their mothers 'status'. They were taught by both of their parents that money was the only thing that mattered. The mother is 'nice' and nothing else. She has few if any real life skills like a child and even now she still looks down on blue collar and working class people. She doesn't live in the real world and she never has.
True, special after the first kid and his lack of commitment. She just dug her whole deeply. Staying with a man for the kids is not ok.
@@MsMaryPatriciasadly yes
How dare you call someone an AH for being ABUSED and unable to handle her situation. This woman was horribly abused and manipulated by her partner who is supposed to love and care for her and you’re blaming her??? Shame on you.
It sounds like her grown kids are college students without jobs. They are financially dependent on their father. What happens if they give money to her and he finds out? How will they pay for college? Food? Housing? They live in dorms still. She can’t stay with them, what exactly are they suppose to do for her?
The housewife, executives wife story....this is what TRAD wives DONT and WONT tell young woman. Like yes, they can take EVERYTHING away from you in a second. It's horrible and I couldn't imagine the terror
Not accurate at all I've had plenty of women tell me not to be a stay at home wife. Most women these days are about finding a career so I don't see where the few stay at home wives not telling young folk the pros and cons would come in. I found a good man though and I would like to be a stay at home mother and wife someday because I have severe social anxiety but unfortunately with today's society we can't afford it and I have to find a job without having a panic attack which has been extremely difficult.
@@empath9814 May want to reread that. They said Trad (traditional) wife. Those following the values of being a sahm.
Yeah that boyfriend in the first story sounds like relationship is transactional. Red flaggg can’t believe op stayed with him having 4 kids
8:02 He was trying to cheat at his workplace or cheating at his workplace That’s why he never wanted to get married
I also felt like he had been either trying to cheat or cheating. It would make sense that maybe if he was having an affair and it broke down after him having to leave his job that he felt “oh fine, now I don’t have another option on the bench I will propose OP”. Either way, I feel so bad for OP and her boyfriend was so manipulative and financially/emotionally abusive! At this point I think she just needs to take whatever job she can get, even if she feels that she may be working with “criminals” because she doesn’t seem like she has any technical skills or job experience, so getting any experience will help, and she will have an even harder time finding a job if she doesn’t have a permanent address!
13:09 this “husband” boyfriend is a prick
A big one he deserves to be alone for the rest of his life.
For the first story she should say yes then in three years divorce and take half his shit 😂
OP in story 1 should've left him the minute he made the comment of strong-arming him to marry. Since she is a stay at home mom she has basically ruined her chances at retirement. She has no rights to a social security payout since she isn't married and did not accumulate enough points through work. Also, whatever retirement or pension the husband was entitled to, she has no right to that either. At this point (I hate to day this), accepting the ring and marriage is the only way to go. Maybe if she decides to divorce she can get just enough to survive her retirement years. This situation sucks 😔
EDIT: Sophia is correct. Once you turn the age of social security payout and you were with your parner for at least 10 years, you can claim a percentage of social security benefits off of whatever your partner was entitled. This doesn't come out of the partner's payout, but it is based on it. I wish OP the best in her new journey.
He wasn't an executive for 30 years. He got promotions and such on the way. Probably 10/15 years in their relationship
For story 1: This is why I refuse to be a sahm ans kept my job even after I became a mom. The power imbalance between a working spouse and stay at home parent is too much, it makes no sense to put myself in that vulnerable position.
💯💯
Not to mention, it’s better for the household as far as financially. I love my children with all of my heart.. but I would lose my mind if I didn’t go to work every day and I just stayed in the house looking for a reason to get out and go somewhere. I look forward to coming home every day and my home not being spotless. It’s just good for my own personal mental health, financial stability, and even physically. I have never and will never knock stay at home moms.. I just don’t think I could do it myself. I was raised by a hard working mom who taught me to always be prepared for the worst and make sure I can handle being on my own. I’m pretty grateful for that type of influence growing up.
Or a good way to get the best of both worlds what my mom did. She ran an at home day care when we were little so she still got to be a SAHM for us but was also working and making money by running a day care
After 30yrs there is really no reason to get married. It has no meaning. Wanting to marry for same last name - is not a good reason. I have been married for 20yrs and didn’t change name.
Our son has a third last name that is neither of ours. We chose to give a long lost family name to him. There are no legal reasons in the present time.
But if you want to get married you should. But to wait 30yrs???? He didn’t value her. He gave her enough reason not to stay in a relationship with.
He waited until he was sure there were no other options before ‘settling’ for her. This is his version of prenup!
I feel he was cheating on her. He sounds like an AH executive who was forcing interns to sleep with him! He thinks that he is rich and powerful and can sleep with whoever he wants. 🤮🤮
Yeah for sure he didn’t value her. He right away wanted to get rid of her. Reason why getting married would have helped her now. If they would have been married it would have been more even now.
One reason for older people to marry is to make health care decision making easier. You can sign all the paperwork you want to designate someone as medical power of attorney, but it can stall things. Any ER understands “husband” whereas they might not even let “boyfriend” know you are there.
Legally, marriage protects stay at home parents alot. How can you not see that?
Not working to raise their kids, her name isn’t on the house, he is in charge of any and all finances and she has absolutely no claim to anything if her life is suddenly uprooted because he aggressively broke it off for her now rubbing his feet or making him a sandwich
@@k.laborin-pearltrue, marriage it's not just a piece of paper. And if you live in a state that doesn't have common law and does nor recognize any unmarried couple rights, marriage might be your only protection if you are a stay home mom
Story#1, OP’s hubby sounds manipulative and a bit narcissistic
He is horrible. But we are responsible for ourselves. The ideal would have been that she didn't have any kids with him after his obvious lack of commitment. But after the 1st one, then that has to be a deal breaker. Either they get marry or do not become a stay home mom for a guy that can kick you out at anytime. Work and have things under your name. Most states don't have common law and will jit recognize any right of there's no marriage no matter how many years they were together
Sad thing is, this post was written because he ISN'T her hubby and she stuck around for THIRTY years. 😢😭😢😭
38:20 sue your boyfriend for the bag payment of your work!!!!! Household cleaning! Meal preparation grocery store going out to get him things! He was giving you allowance and he kept on changing that allowance
I lost my mom yesterday so thank you for posting gives me something to take my mind off things.
I'm sorry for your loss! Prayers for you and your family!😢
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Sending love to you 🥰
sending you and your family healing energy❤❤
Hugs and prayers 🧡
I'm surprised she hasn't thought of live-in child care as they pay well and she's raised 4 children, so has the experience. Wow hard story
Certain states no longer recognize common law marriages and thus are not entitled to any claims from the other partner. Also, some states would require paternity tests even if the father signed the birth certificate before child support would be considered.
OP IS TA. The boyfriend is also the TA! I'm responding to this video as a soon to be 44 year old chica who had her first born at age 16 as a junior in the second semester of HS (who finished JR/SR year, graduated ON TIME and started college EXACTLY ONE WEEK after HS graduation!) and has been gainfully employed the WHOLE time since exactly ONE MONTH to the day he was born. And I had my second/last at age 21 (after being a college graduate while employed at 2 jobs AND interviewing and starting a new career while pregnant with her!)
He played TF outta her. And she allowed it. And she should have just accepted the marriage proposal so she would have something to show for all those wasted years.
It would be "a little" different if she was married while being a SAHM. But she sat at home for THIRTY YEARS playing the background to his foreground and didn't to even think about expanding her horizons, or furthering her education for possible future opportunities and I'm not understanding that mindset at all! He played TF outta her and she allowed it! He is trash though and I refuse to believe that he wasn't playing around on her knowing she would still stay around and at his beck and call. I am in absolute disbelief that a woman in her 50s moved that way and is also being prideful about working any job to help herself out! worked any and every job I had to to support my kids and maintain a semblance of a decent lifestyle. OP is also extremely deluded and lives in her own world and mind and is obtuse about how the world really works. I'm sorry she is going through this but she has to put her pride aside or she will find herself out on the streets. I read this story some time ago and hope she figured something out ASAP!!!
She has a lifetime of no work experience. No 401K. No savings.. nothing! She can’t even retire in 15 years cause she has no money..
and her awful children. Like, wtf ?
I'm heartbroken for her. It sounds like where she lives she isn't considered common-law with her ex which is nuts. 😢 If she they were common-law she would be entitled to some things during the split and he wouldn't be able to treat her like this.
@TheCrayonMaster most of the states do not recognize common law. That is why marriage is not just a piece of paper, especially for a stay-at-home mom.
Do not give 4 kids to a man that is not willing to commit, unless you are also working and have properties under your name, and are fully capable of doing it on your own because it could happen at any time
@@TheCrayonMastermost states don't. It seems cold, but that it has to be considered if your bf doesn't want to marry. I'm not saying break up, but be financially independent
@@alexiatr I figured, that's why I said here in Canada. Luckily for me, I've never wanted kids and never wanted to get married so I don't have to worry about giving someone 4 kids. I don't know why you're telling me not to have 4 kids though, when I was just saying I feel bad for the lady, and it's too bad common law marriage isn't a thing in her state.
It’s so insane. This is why common law marriages and alimony exist, to protect people in these positions. It is devastating that they don’t live in a place where she is protected. Makes me wonder if he did that intentionally
All I can see is he wanted to marry when he was low on cash. Did he take out a life insurance policy on her?
The biggest thing here is the fact that dude got pressured to leave his work as an executive because of how shoddily he treated people. Dudes ridiculous and should move on. He’s awful. 12:48
Damn first story is making me rethink being a stay at home mom now….
You can be a stay at home mom, just make sure you have your own savings and get some professional certificates under your belt through online classes. Pick up skills in your free time and maybe try and meddle around with making money on your own - be it a part time job once kids are in school or get into creating handmade products and sell on Etsy for an income. Never ever rely on your partner, as you never know how people change and turn against you, and then you will be left with nothing.
You need a cushion to fall back on if bad times come, as they can come at any time.
I've heard other personal stories of being a stay-at-home back firing... middle teacher told us about her first marriage and her friends marriage. Both husbands (they were bothers) wanted them to stay-at-home, my teacher said no, and within a year, divorced. The friend stay and complied to her husband. He became emotionally, mentally, and financially abusive.
I have other stories I've been told, but this scared me enough to get a degree and try. I, also, worked at Panera and that mentally pushed me to the rest of the way through school...the area sucks to work for!!
That "executive" boyfriend dude was abusive AF.
I love your friendship- the dynamic is just the best lmao
Bro, I stayed in a situationship for almost a year so I totally feel that person in the last story. Man "dated" me but didn't want to commit but when he say me pulling away he would pull me right back in. YOU HAVE TO FIND THAT PERSON THAT LOVES YOUR WEIRDNESS, I'll let you guys know if I find that person for sure. 😏
Oof... I'm 14 years in... we set a timeline, though. If he doesn't propose by next year, I'm out. I ain't waiting another 16 years.
14 years is already too much, it doesn’t sound any different from the situation in the story
@BTSARMY-dk3bj there are reasons. We have a long, complicated history. I understand why you would think it's the same with so little information, though.
My best friend just got married on their 14 year anniversary. They have had so many ups and downs. It’s just too much at risk. Thankfully she wouldn’t be like OP since he has been working.
Yes please, take care of yourself! Also take economic measures in advance to have a backup plan.
@@MGOsketches I'm disabled, so it's much easier said than done.
Bro… that one story about the 30 year relationship was super rough. I cried.
Queen Silly Goose and Sir Gander over here just telling us stories...
Honestly, I feel really bad for OP. Her bf screwed her over and she has a very unrealistic/naive view of how the job market and finances work
He is only proposing to her now because he feels like he is losing her. He kept her on the hook for all of these years and allowed her and his children to be shamed he was selfish his whole life and now he is worried that he will die alone and he needs her to take care of him.
You’re right, Since she acknowledged she was considering ending their relationship when the youngest turned 18, I feel like the only reason he proposed was because he felt her pulling away from him. This was his way of continuing to keep her with him now that he’s older and nothing better than OP has come along
"People who work (at big box retailers) seem to all be teens or else adults with dubious criminal pasts." "(Tradespeople) run the gamut in terms of background that made them choose trades over an office job that climbs the corporate ladder."
Big talk from somebody who has no education or skills.
This! I was trying to figure out what irked me about that story and it was stuff like these excuses. Something isn't adding up. My heart shatters for her regardless. Hot-shot bf is controlling, scummy, garbage and probably has a mistress if not multiple or a second family lol. But OP made me weary of her side of the story
i sobbed listening to the end of the first story. that poor woman does not deserve any of this , i can’t believe how absolutely awful of a man her ex is.
Her children are no better
This story is perfect example of why SAHM NEED commitment. Because it’s a very vulnerable place to be on your own
On the 25 year relationship- He's technically rejected her proposal for years and years till she gave up.
She has the right to refuse as well. Why is he hurt when it's just his behaviour reflected back at him.
And then the way he approached the matter knowing their history, He's totally AH.
He's absolutely AH.
In the first story OP is delusional. Says she only wants a marketing job, but can't follow instructions for downloading an app?? Doesn't want to apply anywhere else, even though she is desperate. Only sees herself as a victim, though she did play a part in her life ...
She is a victim. She was abused and manipulated. Just because it wasn’t physically doesn’t mean she is any less an abuse survivor and everyone would be dying to help her if it was physical
Story 2, Sophia is right. It was such a weird, narcissistic way to describe his reluctance to divorce that it stuck in my memory.
For the first story, I bet they live somewhere where all assets you had before the marriage are yours and assets earned during the marriage are shared. He waited until he wasn’t going to earn any more money and then was willing to marry her. Only when he had nothing to lose.
Story 1: I'm pretty sure after a certain amount of years together and tax filing they'd be considered common law married which would give her access to many of the assets obtained through those years. So I'm not sure why she got so screwed over.
It's possible they filed taxes separately. She seems naive so maybe she didn't even know that was an option, or she let him handle the finances (she mentioned him giving her an allowance so it seems he was controlling on that front) and he filed her taxes for her and screwed her over. Also I dunno how things work in America but where I'm from you don't have to file taxes if you don't earn a minimum amount of money so since she wasn't earning anything maybe she just never bothered.
This is EXACTLY why all women should ALWAYS educate themselves and ALWAYS WORK, period.
How is this not a common law marriage
I have been married for 32 years and never changed my last name. Our children have my husband’s last name.
That’s good. But I’m sure where she was she must of been pressured or looked at side ways for not having the same name. It’s different for some people. I didn’t change my name either but where I’m at it’s common not to change your name.
I never changed my last name and I have 2 children from a previous relationship. So we all have different last names. I’m also in rural AL. No one has EVER said anything to me about my children having different fathers, my oldest 2 being born out of wedlock or my children and I having different last names. Including the church. Usually churches will help single moms down here as well. I’m not sure where OP is from, but the comments about having a different last name and the judgment for them not being married (though it’s possible) seemed a little bit off base for todays society. Maybe 30 years ago.. but even 10, 15, 20 years ago, this wasn’t super uncommon. I could definitely see her getting the old “so.. when are y’all getting married?” Comments bc that is common. People being nosey lol but that’s not judgmental necessarily. That’s just people being nosey.
This is exactly why you get married in the first place. People who don't want to get married because they're contrarians are delusional, its not about whether or not that person truly loves you, its about having an impartial party to distribute assets evenly depending on what was acquired/happened during the term of the relationship. Dudes love to say that "she's going to take half of my stuff" but lady in story 1 is their dream...she didn't get married to partner. What happened? She's homeless, friendless and tossed away after 25 years of a relationship with nothing to show for it.
I kept thinking, okay, what if he died, especially before the kids were grown? Her and the kids would just be fucked? I guess the kids would inherit something, but what about her, the one who has to actually handle the money? Marriage is a great way to regulate inheritance but in particular where there are children involved.
If OP stayed in a relationship for that long with kids as a housewife, depending on where they are from could be in a common law marriage. She might want to look into a lawyer to see if she qualified for financial support if she wants to dissolve the relationship
Do they not have common law marriage in her state? Is she not entitled to his benefits after 25 years? Just curious.
😢❤😂❤🎉b. 😢😢😢😮😮😮😮😢😮😮😅😅😅😅😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😅😊😊😊😊😊😅😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
😢😢😢😢😢😮😢n😮😢n😢b😢😮😮😮j😮j
Most states don’t acknowledge common law marriage it’s only a select few that do
@@emilyjohn2034 Mine did with my ex husband. We were dating for 5 years before we got married and we were considered common law. I didn't know anything about it until we were told from our insurance company before the wedding.
I have a sorta similar situation behind me. I was with the father of my 3 children and 10 years into the relationship when he finally proposed but only after I had started withdrawing and questioned why I was still with him abd felt that I had more to offer than just being a stay at home mom. My youngest was about to start school the following year full time and I kept bringing up that I wanted to go get a degree and have job. He proposed by just handing me a box for my families' Christmas party which at the time was the only interaction I got to have with them every year as long as it was not on Christmas eve or Christmas day. I went along with it because it was easier to go along than to deal with his attitude and would "reason away" why it just did not work otherwise. I was confused at the time and let myself believe I was getting what I had believed I wanted. I ended up divorcing him 8 year later anyway because I realized I was just a placeholder with no reciprocated appreciation or emotional support.
What finally made me realize this was, he cheated, I figured it out, confronted him and after discussion I told him he could have his cake and eat it too if he agreed to make our family priority and let me get my degree.
He broke the agreement by prioritizing the gf over family and so I kicked him to the curb, filed divorce and put my degree on fast track and got n Associates in business and accounting in 16 months while holding 3 part time jobs and caring for 3 teenagers. When I kicked him out he had stopped providing anything until the divorce was finalized. After the court date that finalized he said he did not think I would follow through and was offended when I had stated to the judge that there was no way to reconcile.
My parents used to have arguments so loud that we could hear them perfectly from upstairs. Usually after we went to bed. Imagine laying in bed and just hearing your mother screaming at your father and you have to try to sleep because you have to go to school tomorrow.
I dont speak to my mother anymore Riley. If she would have divorced my dad when i was a kid, things would most likely be different.
I swear to god Sophia and Riley would be the most adorable together 🤭
Story 1: Those kids are going to regret the way they treated their mom, because once she is gone, there is no going back.
OP deserve better, and Reddit needs to get a flipping life!
Not everyome is cut out for the work life and some folks WANTS to be a stay at home spouse.
It's the other SPOUSES duty to support and protect their stay at home spouse, and if they can't do that according to their transactional beliefs, and back out of the deal, the deal breaker should PAY for that!
We need more laws to punish donkies like OP's ex because these people should not be allowed to continue to do this mess to other people!
Once you allowed POS like that do this to one person, they will do it to others as you have seen with the kids! 🤦🏾💢
As long as there is communication between the spouses, this is correct.
But if say my wife just quit her job and wanted to be a stay at home without talking to me about it, then either we are going to need some serious work on this or we wouldn't be staying together.
What is upsetting me is I bet if the abuse was physical and not financial/emotional people would be giving their overwhelming support but because it wasn’t physical abuse people keep talking crap about her the victim for not leaving soon enough. As if abusers and manipulators don’t have ways of making people stay, especially in the south where he leaving would make her even worse of a pariah. The south is really bad about blaming woman for leaving their partners no matter the reason especially if kids are involved
i am so sad there was no happy ending for OP 1 and no i don't blame her for staying, idc if in hindsight that was dumb, he made false promises to propose.
Story 1: While I feel bad for OP she CHOSE to stay.
Also her trying to get ANY of those jobs she talked about with no degree & no professional experience... after 30 YEARS she's living in delulu land. "New grads make $45-50k a year" Key point being GRADS. And most don't even find work in the field they graduated in fresh out of college.
Her being utterly shocked & surprised a judge ruled in her ex's favor... she's really is living in delulu land, right on the river of denial. Just her statement of "a judge who is supposed to uphold the laws of fairness, morality, & for years I assumed kindness" GIRL a judge rules in the letter of the LAW, not sympathy.
First story: Throw the whole man away ! The fact that she felt that if she left he'd make her life miserable or keep the kids away etc is hugge red flag. No one should feel or fear that if they leave a relationship their partner will make their life hard. Smh. Poor thing. To feel trapped is hard. Hope she leaves now. Her kids are big enough to see for themselves.
Problem is - she has no money, no work experience and she got rejected by all job applications she did. She got evicted and has nowhere to go because her kids won’t help her. She really f***ed her life up by staying with a man with no marriage and without even putting money on the side from her allowance or picking up a part time job so she could have a cushion in case anything happens. She has nothing.
She raised those four kids as a stay at home mom their whole lives and not ONE of the grown up kids is willing to help her??? Because they wanna please dad? This man is 100% dangling some kind of inheritance over their heads, and they're willing to leave their mother to the streets for it. Absolutely disgusting.
1st story. Didn't she say that he left his job because he made enemies there? She should go apply there 😂 She should try a temp agency. They will find her something. Sometimes they turn into full time jobs. She could also try a day care because she can definitely take care of children. House keeper. Any of those would probably be grateful for you.
I want to get married and start having kids before I'm 30. I'm 21 now. I don't want to be too old to have kids, if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen but I'm not gonna be with someone who can't decide if he wants to marry me or not. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years and early on we both talked about our values and I told him I'm dating for a serious relationship to escalate to marriage and to have a family one day and he agreed as well. If marriage is something you really value, you shouldn't be with someone THAT long who can't decide to marry you or not. I would've been gone after 5 years being together and no marriage. Everyone is different but that's my perspective on it. I'm not waiting a lifetime to get married and have kids. I won't have kids without marriage.
Story 1 is a classic tale of manipulation gaslighting
"It's hard to find someone who will match your silly goose energy, and if you find someone who matches your silly goose energy, you should latch on and do not let go"
That's a piece of gold wisdom
She needs to SELL the ring!!!!!!!! She is sitting on thousands of dollars!!
23:38 I low key wanna write the synopsis to this film idea Riley pitched. I already have a resolution in mind and potential climax/conflict. And 10/10 Tina Fey needs to be the mom character 😂
:57 seconds in and Riley’s already unhinged. Wtf was that whistle into the mic for?! 😆😂
I know a lot of people dog on Texas, but we have Common Law Marriage because of this reason. It is not okay that many individuals can lose out on life stability due to their person controlling them financially. There needs to be a way to speak up for those that are home makers.
30 years!?! I would of left by 1 year. My husband knew he wanted to marry me 3 months into dating. Most guys know. Don’t stay more than 2 years. Or else they won’t see you as a priority.
For the lady apply for bus driver position or bus monitor. They will train you
It almost sounded like she didn’t want to work these types of jobs and just assumed she would be more qualified than she actually is. The higher income work field hires those who are either qualified for the job or they are high up on the buddy system.
@@southernladyishshe wants high paying jobs for the custody of her daughter
Yup, every time. Accidentally found the upload time 😂😂😂
Sophia and Riley are my favorite duo ❤
@53:00 I went ERRRUUUGHHH, I loved that y’all contributed to the symphony of eeeeeerugghhhhhhh. I’m going to add OH LAWRDDDDDDDDD. where’s my cross
Riley, marriage and love are more than just feelings, it is a choice. A choice to work things out, to be faithful, to wake up to that person every day, and support them through everything. Obviously there are some situations that divorce is reasonable, but nowadays the culture is to just move on and get a divorce. If it doesn’t come easily, there will be rough patches in marriages just like friendships, just quit. So as long as you find somebody with a similar mindset as you and you are very communicative about what you want out of life and your future and your goals meet up, you’ll be fine.
It really does help to know someone, even with entry level jobs like they said. I got my entry level job in part because my cousin and a friend. It’s hard out there!
NTA. If you have to beg even once, you should leave. As for "comon law marriage", it depends on the state. Not every state recognizes comon law marriage. It sounds like a control thing, on his side. And everyone blaming op, sounds like emotional, financial, & mental abuse. Like if he was hitting her you all wouldnt be blaming her for staying, just cuz there are no bruises doesnt mean shes not being abused by him. She could have claimed squatter rights
Agreed. Some things that happen are beyond our scope and control. But we learn how to navigate them through life experiences and advices passed down to us. Not saying that it won't be hard AF sometimes, but yeah!
The things that are within our control we are supposed to be doing our level best to work it our and just have to figure out how to navigate through it with our given skill set and new things and advices and trial and error. You may get off on the wrong exit on the highway but you'll regroup and recalculate your route.
My Mother (who passed away in 2005 when I was 24 and she is the age I am now - 43) had many valid catchphrases she used which have stuck with me throughout my entire life and I passed on to 2 way past grown kids:
Stay ready so you don't have to get ready.
Always keep one eye open for the bad guy.
There's always some BeeEss around the corner even when isht's sweet, but if you keep that in mind, you just gotta figure out your strategy to get through it.
When ya Spidey Senses Start Tinglin, Ya Best Take Heed.
OP got dozens of red flags and warnings but she just chose to overlook and/or ignore them.
First story: boyfriend sounds like a straight-up covert narcissist. Shes describing it pretty much perfectly.
Op1. There are many lessons here.
1st. Do not have kids with a man that does not want to commit, much less 4
2nd Do not be a stay home mom if you are not legally married and have nothing in your name. If they call you a gold digger so be it, better that then being kicked out empty handed at anytime
3rd don't stay in a relationship "for the kids".
4th he is not doing you a favor by being with you, no matter what the social class he belongs to. Social status is not food. I say this because she said she felt good someone like him was with her, and he said he gave her social status
I love Riley
His 50/50 freak out
I felt that
SAME BRO
I love Riley so much. Hes so funny with his crazy thoughts that seem to come out of nowhere. Sophia: Whose assets?
Riley: "The boys!" 🤣🤣 As if its a thinh.
She WASTED 30 years on that awful man! If I was one of their kids I would be disgusted in my dad treating my mother Like that!
The one who said no to the proposal.
I can relate, especially to the way her adult kids are treating her.
Her 16 yo is most likely going to wind up treating her the same, if not worse.
Dang, waiting 25+ for a proposal? Naw, I'm out. Thats so sad and also what a horrible "husband" boyfriend! No, gurl, you don't need a proposal, you need to run. He was abusive. He was probs cheating the whole time because from the sound of the story, did he ever actually love you? Sure you had spicy sleep to pop out 4 kids but...I ain't seeing the love, the affection! WHERE IS IT? WHERE!?
Story 1 had me a bit on the fence at first bc it absolutely is a privilege to be able to be a sahm in America. Yes its a full time job but if my husband didn't provide the security he does in order for me to care for our son, I would have to go back to work. Been there, done that and its incredibly hard to be there for your kids in the way they need you to, especially in their early years. But that's the only slack I give that man. Hes a AH on every other level but he did provide and deserves at least a hat tilt for that.
Though I do agree.. OP sounds like she needs to humble herself a bit as well. There are plenty of jobs out there. They might not be the types of jobs you want.. but when you’re desperate, you have to do what you’ve got to do. Once you’ve worked your way up, then you can move up. The situation with the eviction and the child custody as well.. if he was the one who paid for everything, they were never married, and her name wasn’t on the deed or any bills, of course she’s not entitled to it. It sucks but that’s just how it is.. The child custody isn’t about her necessarily but rather which parent can provide stability and financial support. Courts do not view things from an emotional perspective but rather a rational, lawful perspective. So yes.. ex seems to be a AH, but OP should have come up with a plan way in advance before just assuming everything would work in her favor. Nothing is just given to you. You have to earn it in some way or another.
I feel like she thinks he’s not going to go thru with it. Just like she stayed with him for so long thinking he would eventually marry her
there is a movie where seniors work at a up and coming company with a lot of young people. it’s really good!
0:08 25 YEARS?
I was smoking for 25 years but recently quit. I never proposed.
Like I have a work friend who her and her now husband intentionally waited about 10 years to get officially married because that’s what she wanted (they don’t have kids) but 25 years and 4 kids!!
The guy in the first story clearly didn’t marry her cause if they divorced over the course of his career, he believes he would been on the hook for more money as he chased down career goals. He is now willing to marry her when he perceives a divorce wouldn’t cost him much. To be with someone 30 years and think that way blows my ever loving mind
OP‘s husband is a textbook narcissist and she has been in a bad relationship for decades. Her low self esteem and kind heartedness breaks my heart. This, coincidentally, is why her husband stayed with her, bc she was easy to push around. He values her 0%, basically just kept her to raise her children and have sex with. I’m sure he cheated over the years and enjoyed all types of other freedoms while she was stuck at home.
To all the people commenting seems the AT too, you are victim blaming. Feeling stuck in a bad situation or seeing the good in people when it’s undeserved does not make you the asshole ffs.
Edit: and the kids in this are major assholes too. They‘ve been taught very bad attitudes towards their mom by their dad. My goodness this breaks my heart. I hope OP‘s life changes for the better quickly
Common-law wife of about 25-30 years, stay at home mom to 4 children for how many years, homemaker for 25-30 years, endured manipulation, financial and emotional abuse for 3 decades and the judge ruled in that manner? 😮
She should sue for payment for all those years of labour.
Her adult children failed her and seem to not want to be financially alienated by their father. She sacrificed for them but they took after him.
Also he is an incredibly evil man to have done that to her...extremely controlling and abusive. He wanted her to beg him and just accept whatever he gives her.
This story sounds exactly like my relationship. He's a sociopath and a narcissist. They have no feelings at all. It's all always pretend. And maybe some lust sprinkled along the way.
52:56 Sophia’s golden rule #2 rather than cheat, just take a break and do your thing lol
In my country if you live together like you're married the law sees you as married and the assets are divided equally
Story 2, Update 2:
"I have a short update about the situation. I got back from the trip and decided to divorce my wife in the end. The last straw was when my daughter told me I look more lively and happier after I came back. I realized I am better off without my wife and just co-parenting our daughter with her. I still feel incredibly uncomfortable around my wife.
My wife did not take the news well and is going down the spiral. I called MIL and FIL to have them take care of her. She caused some problems. She sent threatening messages to her friend who told me about the cheating. I had to beg her to not sue my wife as I want my daughter to have a mother present in her life. Though, she'll be probably taken to mental ward. She is not well. Last time I saw her, I felt scared looking at her eyes.
Our daughter is with me now and we've started the divorce process. My lawyer told me if my wife to be taken to mental ward, there is a good chance that I can get better than 50/50 custody. One should be happy hearing that but I am just devastated how it'll affect our daughter.
Many Redditors told in the comments that dating life after 30s as a man is not good and I'll be probably forever alone as no-one will want me. First thing is: I do not care. Our daughter is my first priority and dating is the last thing I have in mind right now. Second thing is: I am confident in myself in every regard to finding friends and a partner.
I think this sums up my update. I will be back maybe in a year considering how long divorce process takes when it's not amicable. Thank you."
For the first story you don't need marriage,But clearly this bf just wasn't worth waiting for.
Legally if you want any government compensation for being a stay at home mom for 3 decades- you need marriage
She has no working history- BECAUSE HE WANTED HER TO BE A SAHM- she has no savings or money or name on the house. If he were to die everything they had in life would go to the kids or his parents because she has no legal right to anything
Marriage is a legal piece of paper. It is important for legal issues to be
@k.laborin-pearl still a waste of time I'd never marry its atill rooted in some sexist ideals.
That poor, poor lady with the 30 year 'boyfriend'. She should be entitled to spousal support, half of the property, and be Inna stable situation. Her raising his kids, wasn't a gift to her, only for her to be turfed out. Bless her. Instead she has been emotionally and financially abused and abandoned. Appalling, he sounds evil. Such a shame she raised children around and with that man, as she now has entirely awful children too.
47:29 I resonated with that on a spiritual level lol
"From two single people " I thought Riley had a gf now? What did I miss?
I was wondering the same thing
I feel so sorry for the woman in yhe first story. If she were in Canada, she and her ex would be considered common-law (married) because they lived together for so long. So even though they didn't go through the ceremony, in the eye of the law, they are married. He wouldn't be able to do this to her up here.
36:02 and she’s still only applying to marketing? Like, Idgaf if she won’t have anything in common with her coworkers, it’s _a job!_