I would never, say, 4 years ago, have imagined that sometime in the near future, hearing the phrase : ' The white house is now without a babysitter ' would make my hair stand on end.
Someone please tell me his Diet Coke button and launch the nukes button are different! Please!! Because that's supposed to be a joke from bad animated Kids movie, NOT REAL.
I think the "wedge...the simplest of tools" line is my favorite of the season. Great work Mr. Colbert. Keep 'em coming. Gives me a moment of hope and joy. Ah, joy. Such a fleeting memory. Used to be a thing i could summon as simply as getting an ice cream cone and calling mom to see how dad was doing. Now if I call mom I get barraged with...dare I say, tool-marks? Please keep the sanity train rolling Stephen.
+Jaclyn Lagrow Oh! We like immigrants here. Trust me, you would never leave. Healthcare, sensible gun laws, beautiful protected environment.... Oh, and the people are pretty awesome. We are like American's, but smarter and nicer. ;-)
They already did build the wall! That one should be torn down! Don't want to ruin a perfectly good piece of architecture. Just impeach the Dumpster and get rid of him!
@@purplethaicat327 I'd rather not. That just gives us Pence for a year and 2 months. Let's just ride out the storm, laugh at the idiocy, then get him the hell out
Why don’t any of these senators bring up the fact that he promised that “Mexico will pay for it.” I wish Schumer would have thrown that in his face on national television.
They all want their 300k a year jobs. Some of them, that's all they have. They won't speak too much against the President. It might cost them future elections in their states.
Yes, the US is standing on it's knees. I sincerely hope that one day, the US achieves its potential and becomes a full democracy, as defined by the EIU. To do this, it must overcome the latest cutting edge thinking of the 18th century (the constitution) and employ the latest thinking of now. Also, US voters must overcome their misplaced phobia of socialism, where some actually believe universal healthcare erodes human rights. If anyone reading this holds that view, please check out the Human Freedom Report by the Cato institute. Every single country that has greater human freedom than the US, also has some form of universal healthcare. Wow. I best climb off my soapbox now.
The last time I looked , any structure of length made of vertical steel slats was called a "FENCE" not a wall. So he's now gone from saying "Mexico will pay for the wall" to "we can find the $5b somewhere else", and now to downgrading a "big beautiful concrete wall" to a steel slatted fence that he still calls a wall. So I guess he won't take offense when we downgrade him from Chief Executive to "prisoner 1248290"......(yeah I know it's futile and nearly impossible , but a guy can dream can't he ?)
It's called being a freakin' liar and making s**t up as you go. He isn't a self-made billionaire (he should thank his dad and the money he siphoned from the Trump foundation) and he's sold his soul to the devil for what he does have --- are you willing for him to sell the soul of our country? Cause I'm not.
I really though he was going to make Mexico pay for it why is he doing this to the American people that work for the government right before the holidays that’s an attack on Christmas 🎄 fucking guy I really thought he was going to make Mexico pay for it typical politician making false promises
@@shawncc89 Q: Why didn't the Republicans do something about Obama and Hillary when they controlled all three branches of government? A: Because they had no evidence.
You believe in trump in spite of damming evidence I believe the evidence that trump is a complete liar and Con Artist ....maybe were both brainwashed but one things for sure ......at least my sides trying a little harder than screaming tweets like a fat angry baby XD
@@frankspeaking2630 someone should give the orange toddler a hammer, tell him it's a tv remote control and to change channels he needs to hit himself in the head.
Donnie couldn't care less what happens to this country. He'll simply walk away with everything of value, and leave everyone else to pick up the debris. It's been his business model for decades. Besides, I doubt he's got more a decade at best.
Considering everyone votes in the Senate and Congress, wouldn't it really just be about good ideas winning? Oh right, I forgot you have to vote for bad ideas if your friends vote for it. I suggest one of those friends tell everyone to jump off a cliff.
Yes, sure... Why do you ask...? Oh, you mean because they did not say WHICH nation?! You thought they meant ... Naaaah! OMG. Republicans? Evangelicals? Really?
Um, with all due "respect", if you hadn't just passed a ginormogantous tax cut for yourself and the other 1 percenters - wouldn't that tax revenue have helped pay for your precious wall? *crickets*
Popcorn? Ha, meanwhile, we're really fortunate cannabis legalization has taken off here in the states to help us cope with this dangerous trainwreck of a Presidency.
Thanks for pointing this nonsense out, Stephen. Was thinking the same. Pathetic how we have a president who listens to whiny Fox News lectures over actual freaking GENERALS.
Whats crazy is a bunch of those generals are considered warmongers. And right now thry look like the good guys here. General Mattis, i can't believe i had to rely on him.
@Celena Newell yup, I figured that out when I went back and looked, you'll see the comment above. As I was typing it your reply came through. My bad. That's why I asked what you meant. I think I've been battling too many russian trolls lately, again, my bad. Happy Holidays AND Merry Christmas! :)
Mexico is taking another course of action. The new President is going to create a modern Marshall Plan to help the economies and security resources for the highly challenged nations from which these people otriginated.
But haven't you heard it when Mexico said nope we are not paying and there was even that Mexican laughing guy ...who explained to Americans that most Mexican do not cross the border they fly to USA cities
Valerie Lee hello from down under lovely! We don’t have talk shows as such anymore. Shaun Micallef (already mentioned), The Weekly with Charlie Pickering. And an old fave although they haven’t done shows in a while as far as I know, The Chaser! Champagne comedy! Check them here (chaser.com.au/). Jan x
No one wants to be Trump's nanny anymore. Thank goodness Mary Poppins has returned just in time to save us all! Happy holidays to everyone and keep having hope! And thank you Stephen and Seth and Trevor and Sam for keeping me sane.
Putin is Russian Orthodox, Russian Orthodox Christmas is January 8 NOT December 25th. So this is good news for Putin, but the Russian Holiday season is News Years Eve to Russian Orthodox Christmas (i.e. December 31st to January 7), not what the Russians call "Catholic Christmas" to News Years Day (i.e. December 25 to January 1).
It's so obvious trump is beholden to Putin that it's embarrassing. But republicans all just laugh and leave, and ignore. Because Freedom Caucus and Koch Bros and Heritage Foundation are all paying them to keep their mouths shut? Why aren't they more concerned about this?
And President Trump is having even a better one! Don’t worry at all, the president will get us there. We will start building the wall and replace that spineless useless mattis, And we will be the greatest nation in the world. God bless you
Dino Sorg. Build the wall.Don’t build the wall. Whatever happens your life and my life won’t change. If building a wall was the answer it would’ve been done years ago.
Ummmm, you did see the NAFTA negotiations right? Done and paid for. Anyway $5B is actually nothing in the USA budget. The military alone spends $700B a year. Illegal immigration costs us over $100B a year. It’s a no brained to build the wall.
@@rogerc23 Also besides the military please show me this 100B a year illegals are costing us and explain how. If you can't then your whole argument is trash because I know some farmers who would tell you that without them most farm owners would've already lost their farms because soft ass pricks like you won't work the fields. Statistics taken back in 2007 show that without illegals working as farmhand over 43% of the US crops would fail... wonder why that is...
I would totally be okay with funding a beaded curtain. Could you imagine the billions Etsy artists would make designing and producing all those beads? #makeamericacraftyagain
@ Roger C. He is funnier than YOU are..... (and trust us, you look pretty Darn funny)... but then again looks ain’t everything, but he still beats you. Funny, Funny, Funny
"The TV is the only one who has seen me naked." My brain tries to enjoy those witty oneliners, ... and forget the visuals immediately at the same time.
Does the USA have an 'Emergency Solution' to these sort of deadlocks blocking funding? Like 'You are all fired, snap election to break the deadlock' or 'Overrule President via congress / senate vote'?
Jeez oh. I hope things get better for all you folk in the USA in the coming year. It is torture living with this eejit Trumps antics. Thank god for Colbert making it a wee bit more bearable
Yes bc millions pouring into our country would be great right? There goes all our healthcare money for free welfare for people who want to rake advantage of our broken system. What is logic?
@@shawncc89 Really? Illegal immigrants underpin the economies of California and Texas, and kicking them out would send your country into, at the very least, recession. You likely benefit from the cheap labour and productivity such illegals provide. And your health care system IS broken! Obamacare tried hard to change the game but many of those who would most benefit from it voted against it. Can't argue with stupid.
@@Johnny6666 More than just the economies of California and Texas, but you are correct that removing illegals would send the entire US economy into a tailspin. According to a study by the National Bureau of Economic Research, illegal immigrants add about $500 billion in economic output per year. Removing them would cost the US economy $5 trillion over a decade, or reduce GDP growth by 2.5% every year. Note, this isn't just an estimate, but proven by research done in Alabama, Arizona, and North Carolina when they enacted "tough-on-illegal immigration" laws that caused the number of illegals in those states to drop. When Arizona passed stricter immigration laws, there was a 2.5% decrease in the number of jobs NOT a gain. In fact, less than 10% of the jobs vacated by illegal immigrants were taken up by US born workers, leaving 90% of positions unfilled and leading to economic loss as those positions were closed or automated. In Alabama, they lost $10.8 billion after passing harsher immigration enforcement laws, mostly due to rotting produce in fields, the effects of which cost 70,000 jobs in one year. Why? Well, the University of Alabama conducted a study on this, offering to pay $15 an hour to Americans willing to work as farmhands. Less than half of the positions formerly held by illegals were filled, even with wages at $15 an hour, and those that did take the job on average quit after the first day. Fewer than 5% of American workers stayed on for the entire duration of the study. The same study also found that it took 25 American workers to harvest the same amount of tomatoes as 4 Mexican workers in four hours of work. Those workers who quit were surveyed about why, with most citing the "hard work" and "heat" as being too oppressive. In North Carolina, a study in 2011 offered up 6,500 farmhand jobs to 489,000 unemployed North Carolinians, where unemployment was over 10%. Only 268 took the job offer, and only 163 showed up to work on the first day. The study showed that only 7 (i.e. 3%) lasted until the end of the season. Meanwhile, of the Mexican workers (not illegals but under the H-2A visa) who filled the rest of the positions, the study shows over 90% finished the season with zero drop outs on the first day. The study showed that native workers could only fill less than 0.10% of the jobs needed to keep the economy running. The study also showed that if unemployment rose to 14%, only 100 more workers would take the jobs. So, after 30 years of study, we've discovered a horrifying fact. We literally can't replace our illegal workers with native born Americans. It's an impossibility. Even at over 10% unemployment with high wages at $15 an hour, Americans refused to do the work, so what makes Trump and his minions think they would do the work at 4% unemployment and less than $8 an hour? Now, I don't like illegal immigration and we shouldn't ignore this problem, but we need realistic solutions not "pie-in-the-sky" dreams about building a big wall or mass deportation. A more sensible solution would be to set up more H-2A visas for agricultural workers so illegals could become legal workers for the seasonal work required of them. Of course, H-2A visas require reams of paperwork, reporting to five different government agencies and can cost over $10,000 in time and money per worker hired. So it would be better to cut the red tape, reduce regulations, allow companies to report to only one agency, and reduce the fees. A simplified visa system for agricultural and construction workers would add an additional estimated $140 billion added to GDP per year. The source on the North Carolina study: www.newamericaneconomy.org/sites/all/themes/pnae/nc-agr-report-05-2013.pdf
It must be weird for Stephen and the writers to watch this show - which they film on Thursday - in the context of how much had changed in that 24 hours.
I feel it just goes to show you what kind of time we're living in. You go to sleep one night, wake up the next and find out you basically missed out on an entire month's worth of news.
It was actually the Berlin Wall. The iron curtain was figuritive, it didn't exist. Also, the Berlin Wall was made to keep the people in east Berlin, not to keep them out.
At this point, Trump's gonna have to settle for a card-"boarder" wall. Don't worry mr. president, I hear you can do lots of arts & crafts with those jumbo refrigerator boxes.
Just a bunch of random signs written on bits of cardboard saying "WALL" every ten feet or so. After all, it's the thought that counts, right? Take that, Mexico!
Washington DC chief of police "The arrest of the president took longer than expected. Our cuffs kept slipping off his tiny hands and we had to order special children-proof-cuffs to get him out of there."
Okay, so no one is pointing out that, actually, congress can override the president if it can get a 2/3 majority in both houses. Did no one else take middle-school social studies?
Trump also promised a middle class tax cut right before the midterms when congress was out of session. He gave up on that promise without a second thought, but he is married to this one?
middle classes are not elite enough, they don't pay him either, the top 1% are all that matters to that cockroach. Put an orange wig on a cockroach, Trump appears...lol
Peter Matthews: He just said that to get some more votes during the midterm election. Same with the Caravan of Doom. ‘The caravan received heavy coverage on Fox & Friends, where it was portrayed as “an invasion” that Democrats weren’t doing enough to stop. According to transcripts, the caravan was mentioned 19 times on Friday’s edition of the show, 10 times on Monday, and nine times on Tuesday. Fox News has even embedded a reporter with the caravan to provide updates about its progress. Yet on Wednesday’s edition of Fox & Friends, it was mentioned just once in passing.’ Wednesday was the day after midterm elections.
Every time Trump doesn't get what he wants, he throws all the toys out of his pram. The trouble is, America, they're your toys. Greetings from Australia.
@LocalToast jajajajajajajaja just because Europeans claim to make things better does not give them credit of invention jajajajajajajaja they should have invented soap before perfume LMAO
Hey, are you accepting immigrants? because I'd love to get the hell out of here. I'd rather deal with dangerous animals than the cornered coyote we have in office.
@LocalToast Yeah, but the only reason white people were able to make those innovations is because they did it on the backs of the profits of exploitation of cheap labor and stolen land; i.e. collonialism; i.e. slavery, power abuse, and conquest. If populations of native peoples in North America hadn't immediately been decimated by the diseases Europeans brought over, Europe wouldn't have been able to take the land, and wouldn't have had the land or resources to acquire and force labor to work the land to make them even more rich, and thus wouldn't have had the economic booms and systems that cultivated science and the arts. In fact, most of the "discoveries" of the Renaissance were actually just taken from Islamic scholars who'd worked a lot of the mathematical and medical "breakthroughs" out centuries before, while Europeans were slaughtering women for practicing folk medicine and calling them witches. 👏 During that period, the Islamic and Asian world lived in luxury and scientific innovation with excellent trading systems and great wealth, and nobody wanted to interact with those barbarians in Europe. In fact, Europe was so jealous of the Middle East and Asia that they made themselves feel better by preaching that austerity was a virtue, just so they had an excuse to look down on Middle Eastern and Asian peoples for their better quality of life, like a child that doesn't get what they want and thus insists that they didn't want it anyways and anyone who does is stupid. Of course, as soon as Europeans had the riches to be luxurious, they proved their hypocrisy by being as flashy and covetous as possible. It wasn't until Spain grew rich off the "New World" that Asia and the Middle East seriously and routinely began trading with them for spices, which kicked off Europe's era of prosperity and desire for world domination. White people aren't innately more innovative; white people stole from others to acquire the power, time, resources, and luxury to do so. Also, the Greeks and Romans weren't white, you dumbass. Those labels didn't even exist until the modern era of collonialism. The Romans were a cultural melting pot with roots in the traditions of Greece and Egypt, but also the governmental tactics of Persia; i.e. the Middle East, and their populations came from places in all of the above. If you went back in time and started ranting about white people, they'd think you mad.
@@The1redman2 according to the Miami Times Trump's Mar A Largo applied for 61 visas allowing undocumented workers this summer. Bye-the-way, the membership fee to join this elite club is $200,000. I guess they can only afford to pay undocumented workers $12.00 or $13.00 an hour. Don't want to strain the rich people's bank account.
He's similar to the character of Peter Sellers in the movie Being There, the difference with that character is Trump is racist, corrupt, malignant and even more idiotic than that character.
Remember two or three monologues back when some White House Insider said Trump doesn't like Christmas because "it isn't about him?" Well, this is Trump trying to fix that by making it all about him.
![Noob To Max With DRAGON REWORK In Blox Fruits [FULL MOVIE]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/LnBMOinoOvA/mqdefault.jpg)
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
"the simplest of tools" excellent!
Probably the most succinct description of #45 ever.
I would never, say, 4 years ago, have imagined that sometime in the near future, hearing the phrase :
' The white house is now without a babysitter ' would make my hair stand on end.
Someone please tell me his Diet Coke button and launch the nukes button are different! Please!! Because that's supposed to be a joke from bad animated
Kids movie, NOT REAL.
@@burtosis he's like the president from monsters vs aliens
@@abouttogiveyasomefacts5574
Ironic, since said president was voiced by Colbert
When I said he would be a disaster at my office, one of my peers said "how much can he do". Well here it is.
I think the "wedge...the simplest of tools" line is my favorite of the season. Great work Mr. Colbert. Keep 'em coming. Gives me a moment of hope and joy. Ah, joy. Such a fleeting memory. Used to be a thing i could summon as simply as getting an ice cream cone and calling mom to see how dad was doing. Now if I call mom I get barraged with...dare I say, tool-marks? Please keep the sanity train rolling Stephen.
Hello from Canada...we're running out of popcorn up here.🍺🍺🍻🍻
Exactly! We had to legalize weed to cope and now we have a serious popcorn shortage!
As are we in 'Merica
Err gag Can I come live with you? My country is getting crazier by the day!! Our President is mad!
+Jaclyn Lagrow Oh! We like immigrants here. Trust me, you would never leave. Healthcare, sensible gun laws, beautiful protected environment.... Oh, and the people are pretty awesome. We are like American's, but smarter and nicer. ;-)
we would send you more popcorn but our ass in chief prolly tariff it.....
"he's the simplest of tools" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
We have a wedge in the White House...I say wedge cause he's the simplest of tools 😆
Who is paying for the wall?
Mexico
Mexic
Mexi
Mex
Me
Nozy Tutor Someone doesn't understand the concept of retroactively..
Yep basically. Trump will pay for the wall
Do you post this on every Late Show video? I swear I've seen it about 50 times.
They created a GoFundMe for the wall and are celebrating breaking 10m. Congrats, you have 4.99b more to go or 4990m in simpler terms.
@@voiceofreason2168 Like when they said that the tax cuts would pay for themselves?
Make America great again Impeach Donald J Trump and Mike Pence Now.
That would make America’s greater gain!
The craziest and most hilarious thing about that, if it actually happened, is that it would make Nancy Pelosi president of the United States.
Just make sure you tell Mike Pence in advance. He probably has to get his wifes permission to get impeached.
What would Pence be impeached for?
@@maxwellduncan3555
Complicancy
Give the writer that wrote the "wedge" joke a bonus!
@vm8444 0 Leave that poor 'enter button' alone! What did it ever do to you?
@vm8444 0 Jesus, dude. I was making a joke about your formatting. I didn't even mention politics
@vm8444 0 See, regardless of political sides, we can always find common grounds. Such as your abuse of the enter button 😁
small dic white bxtch with cheap asian mail ordered bride
@@fckstreetshitters4294 wat
Normally, you would be considered nuts if you think the TV was telling you to do bad things, but that's just 11am-6pm at the White House every day.
Individual #1 is really unhinged.
He was born unhinged.
@C caymer yeah the one before your eyes
Trump's theme song should be the scarecrow song from the Wizard of Oz. The name of the song is "IF I ONLY HAD A BRAIN.
Beautiful Concrete Wall > Wonderful Steel Slats > Magical Cardboard Slabs > Awesome Force Field > Puffy Clouds of Wonder > etc etc etc.
To my Trumpet friends out there, are you all tired of winning?
But Hillary! But Obama! God bless the draft dodging reality show host.....
We’re still waiting for the “winning”!! 🤔
I know a couple who are extremely sick and have no healthcare because they voted themselves out of it.
Ha ha!
Do you really think Trump fanbois hang out here? Go to the horrid depths of depravity which they call the 'Fox News comment section', if ye dare!
Build the wall around the White House and add water until we stop hearing noises
They already did build the wall! That one should be torn down! Don't want to ruin a perfectly good piece of architecture. Just impeach the Dumpster and get rid of him!
@@purplethaicat327 I'd rather not. That just gives us Pence for a year and 2 months. Let's just ride out the storm, laugh at the idiocy, then get him the hell out
Why don’t any of these senators bring up the fact that he promised that “Mexico will pay for it.”
I wish Schumer would have thrown that in his face on national television.
"Uh, sir? Last I looked, nobody in the Democratic party, nor the party itself, went by the name of Mexico."
Would have been a sweet burn.^^
Now that would've made things more interesting.. The Great Negotiator being called out for real..
richardvilseck you mean you wish Schumer would steal someone else’s joke about it on national television?
I think already did
Schumer? Holy shitt this country is doomed
It's beginning to look a lot like impeachment.
More Like 2020 re elect
Democrats have been saying 'impeachment' since 2016. The Deep State is going down.
peacorptv From your lips to God’s ears
shawncc89 , 🤣😂😆😂🤣
Can't come soon enough!!
I absolutely love that Trump felt the need to point out we're at the end of the year.
Must be nice to say something correct for a change.
That for his base. Most of them don't know what day it is.
I know more about US politics than that of my own country because of this show.
Same LOL
Lmfao of only it wasn't this way here 😭🤣😂😢
Where you from though?
Fake comedy you learned nothing but hey you're dumbing down good for you !
Same
@@imdamann3844 sure, dumbing down because this show keeps showing me Trump's dumb tweets
If Republicans don't want to be at the whim of Trump's tweets, maybe they could grow up and start actually running the government.
Damn straight.
Why would anyone cares what Chump tweets ? Are the GOP are really that afraid of his base ? Seriously ? Total cowards.
$25 million in Russian money funneled through the NRA to Republicans in Congress has bought their silence.
melanie can give them all jackets this year for xmas with the "I really don't care, do you?" on them.
They all want their 300k a year jobs. Some of them, that's all they have. They won't speak too much against the President. It might cost them future elections in their states.
It is amazing America is still standing...
Yes, the US is standing on it's knees.
I sincerely hope that one day, the US achieves its potential and becomes a full democracy, as defined by the EIU.
To do this, it must overcome the latest cutting edge thinking of the 18th century (the constitution) and employ the latest thinking of now.
Also, US voters must overcome their misplaced phobia of socialism, where some actually believe universal healthcare erodes human rights. If anyone reading this holds that view, please check out the Human Freedom Report by the Cato institute. Every single country that has greater human freedom than the US, also has some form of universal healthcare.
Wow. I best climb off my soapbox now.
The last time I looked , any structure of length made of vertical steel slats was called a "FENCE" not a wall. So he's now gone from saying "Mexico will pay for the wall" to "we can find the $5b somewhere else", and now to downgrading a "big beautiful concrete wall" to a steel slatted fence that he still calls a wall. So I guess he won't take offense when we downgrade him from Chief Executive to "prisoner 1248290"......(yeah I know it's futile and nearly impossible , but a guy can dream can't he ?)
It's NOT impossible.
See this is what separates a billionaire like Trump from a failed economic sloth like you. It’s called negotiating. Moron.
It's called being a freakin' liar and making s**t up as you go. He isn't a self-made billionaire (he should thank his dad and the money he siphoned from the Trump foundation) and he's sold his soul to the devil for what he does have --- are you willing for him to sell the soul of our country? Cause I'm not.
LOL. God it’s funny seeing you brainwashed masses trying to think.
I really though he was going to make Mexico pay for it why is he doing this to the American people that work for the government right before the holidays that’s an attack on Christmas 🎄 fucking guy I really thought he was going to make Mexico pay for it typical politician making false promises
you can't always get what you want..... but if you try sometimes ....you just might find..... yourself in prison for treason
But hes not obama or Hillary
@@shawncc89 yes, they are much smarter than the Orange fool and they care about this country.
@@Patricia-zt8ub this is solid proof that youre all brainwashed to hell and back
@@shawncc89 Q: Why didn't the Republicans do something about Obama and Hillary when they controlled all three branches of government? A: Because they had no evidence.
You believe in trump in spite of damming evidence I believe the evidence that trump is a complete liar and Con Artist ....maybe were both brainwashed but one things for sure ......at least my sides trying a little harder than screaming tweets like a fat angry baby XD
"Oh no, the TV is mad at me. I'm sorry, TV, please forgive me. You're my only friend." Hah! 😆
It's not just the TV it's those voices in his head
@@frankspeaking2630
someone should give the orange toddler a hammer, tell him it's a tv remote control and to change channels he needs to hit himself in the head.
S Rowe
Perfect. And check this out .... those are words coming from a guy who probably can't even spell TV lol
@@frankspeaking2630 Yup, he's not actually alone because he lives in his own little world, they know him there.
@Alex Mullins
That's from The Outer Limits.
Still fits, though.
Donnie couldn't care less what happens to this country.
He'll simply walk away with everything of value, and leave everyone else to pick up the debris.
It's been his business model for decades.
Besides, I doubt he's got more a decade at best.
Can't come fast enough
And they said, Republican majority in Senate & Congress and a Republican President was a good thing for the nation ???
Has it ever been
'they' were wrong.
Considering everyone votes in the Senate and Congress, wouldn't it really just be about good ideas winning? Oh right, I forgot you have to vote for bad ideas if your friends vote for it. I suggest one of those friends tell everyone to jump off a cliff.
Yeah, how's that working out...😂
Yes, sure... Why do you ask...? Oh, you mean because they did not say WHICH nation?! You thought they meant ... Naaaah! OMG. Republicans? Evangelicals? Really?
Um, with all due "respect", if you hadn't just passed a ginormogantous tax cut for yourself and the other 1 percenters - wouldn't that tax revenue have helped pay for your precious wall? *crickets*
You realize the 1% include people who make $250,000/year, right? "Facts??? What are facts?????"
@@getchasome6230 Facts? The top 1% in the US earns at least 421 936$/year. Nice try anyway!
Well.... Nixon is officially not the worst president anymore. Good for him. His place has been taken by the Donald.
Nixon is Childs play in comparison to Trump he only had the one Water gate scandal so far as I know of.
*Trumpster Fire
Nicole c You’re only NOW saying that?!
Nixon would be a hippie lib by today's republican standards. He'll, he established the EPA. Damn tree hugger /s
Knives And established relations with Communist China. That was huge.
My country has exhausted half its national supply of popcorn since this guy has become president.
No need to worry about my username that was so savage that i respect it. Lol
The best comment to date on this "reality show presidency".
Popcorn? Ha, meanwhile, we're really fortunate cannabis legalization has taken off here in the states to help us cope with this dangerous trainwreck of a Presidency.
I think the global supply is low.
😂😂😂
Thanks for pointing this nonsense out, Stephen. Was thinking the same.
Pathetic how we have a president who listens to whiny Fox News lectures over actual freaking GENERALS.
Whats crazy is a bunch of those generals are considered warmongers.
And right now thry look like the good guys here. General Mattis, i can't believe i had to rely on him.
@youtube moderators
You saying Trump isn't a celebrity?
And illegals over citizens? How so? Lay off the Fox propaganda.
From now on, President Wedge.
lol
I like it. Simple, easy to remember, and to the point (and in more ways than one).
sounds like Corker is sooooo glad to be escaping.
@Celena Newell are you calling me a POS?
Probably calling Trump POS= president of stupid
@@iamkoen2u you're right, I decided that she means POSoTUS - Piece of Shit of the United States! A big orange turd!
@Celena Newell yup, I figured that out when I went back and looked, you'll see the comment above. As I was typing it your reply came through. My bad. That's why I asked what you meant. I think I've been battling too many russian trolls lately, again, my bad. Happy Holidays AND Merry Christmas! :)
@Laverne Blaszczyk yes. sadly.
Some serial killers also claim that the TV told them to murder.
Barnaby so true.
These monologues are giving me so much life
These and Randy Rainbow get me through.
You know Donnie though that the 'Omnibus Bill' was gonna get him a Transformer to guard the border.
I dont know what would do without Colbert, Noah, Meyers and Bee to help me humorize my depression.
I hear yaaaa!😉👍
Justina bee?
And Bill Maher.
@@amyj4106 Samantha Bee
@@WaterlooExpat and Bill Maher
I thought Mexico was paying for the wall!
In the alternative world.😉
That's what he promised. 🤬 LIAR!
So didn't I...
Mexico is taking another course of action. The new President is going to create a modern Marshall Plan to help the economies and security resources for the highly challenged nations from which these people otriginated.
But haven't you heard it when Mexico said nope we are not paying and there was even that Mexican laughing guy ...who explained to Americans that most Mexican do not cross the border they fly to USA cities
Steel slats? Well that changes everything!
He's so dumb he doesn't even get the basic rules of bait and switch. Sigh.
They’re even artistically designed.
‘Steaming Yule Log into the Nog’! Stephen, you’re the only one keeping us sane!
He is going to find himself impeached 😂🤣🤣
You know it’s bad when even Fox is confused
Steel Slats sounds like the name of a really bad rock band.
A wedge, simpilst of tools, hilarious
A simple tool that could really do a number on... steel slats.
If only he were that stable though.
The color of cheddar
One of the best monologues! Thank you from Australia x
Info Black what’s a good Australian talk show? I want to watch other countries talk shows too!
Shaun Micallef has a satire show called 'Mad as Hell' it is not a talk show but it is funny.
Valerie Lee hello from down under lovely! We don’t have talk shows as such anymore. Shaun Micallef (already mentioned), The Weekly with Charlie Pickering. And an old fave although they haven’t done shows in a while as far as I know, The Chaser! Champagne comedy! Check them here (chaser.com.au/). Jan x
Hoots love his group of writers!!! They the flipping best
give trump steel slats but call 'em prison bars.
Lol. Yes let's do that.
Or give him prison bars but call them "steel slats".
like for impeachment
Like for Trump 2020.
Clearly the solution that they need to make a white picket fence. There is nothing more American than that.
"The TV's the only one who's seen me naked."
"If only.. if only.."
- Stormy Daniels -
No one wants to be Trump's nanny anymore. Thank goodness Mary Poppins has returned just in time to save us all! Happy holidays to everyone and keep having hope! And thank you Stephen and Seth and Trevor and Sam for keeping me sane.
Vladimir Putin is having the best Christmas ever!
Putin is Russian Orthodox, Russian Orthodox Christmas is January 8 NOT December 25th. So this is good news for Putin, but the Russian Holiday season is News Years Eve to Russian Orthodox Christmas (i.e. December 31st to January 7), not what the Russians call "Catholic Christmas" to News Years Day (i.e. December 25 to January 1).
It's so obvious trump is beholden to Putin that it's embarrassing. But republicans all just laugh and leave, and ignore. Because Freedom Caucus and Koch Bros and Heritage Foundation are all paying them to keep their mouths shut? Why aren't they more concerned about this?
And President Trump is having even a better one! Don’t worry at all, the president will get us there. We will start building the wall and replace that spineless useless mattis, And we will be the greatest nation in the world. God bless you
Dino Sorg. Build the wall.Don’t build the wall. Whatever happens your life and my life won’t change. If building a wall was the answer it would’ve been done years ago.
@@elgieswift3498 If it was a democrat president? But Trump? (crickets)
Wait what happened to Mexico paying for the wall ?🤔
Ummmm, you did see the NAFTA negotiations right? Done and paid for. Anyway $5B is actually nothing in the USA budget. The military alone spends $700B a year. Illegal immigration costs us over $100B a year. It’s a no brained to build the wall.
@@rogerc23 It is NO BRAINED to build the wall
@@rogerc23 Also besides the military please show me this 100B a year illegals are costing us and explain how. If you can't then your whole argument is trash because I know some farmers who would tell you that without them most farm owners would've already lost their farms because soft ass pricks like you won't work the fields. Statistics taken back in 2007 show that without illegals working as farmhand over 43% of the US crops would fail... wonder why that is...
He's building the -wall- steel slats, and he's making -Mexico- American taxpayers pay for it.
@RH P. Yeah because r isn’t right above d on a keyboard. I already have a secretary but if I needed another one you wouldn’t get the job
Stephen does an awesome monologue and Y'all here more interested in commenting 'first'. At least finish watching it.
I would totally be okay with funding a beaded curtain. Could you imagine the billions Etsy artists would make designing and producing all those beads? #makeamericacraftyagain
That is too funny!!! Cracking up
How creative!, and attractive too!
I really hope your aren’t relying on your humor to make a lying.
@ Roger C. He is funnier than YOU are..... (and trust us, you look pretty Darn funny)... but then again looks ain’t everything, but he still beats you. Funny, Funny, Funny
@hankashly, autocorrect is not a spelling error. Hope you aren’t relying on your brain to make a living.
trump's life is based on what he sees on TV. I doubt he has ever read a book.
Justin D You sound reasonable
@Sean Embry Mein Kampf or Mine Kampf?
Sean- R u serious? Holy shit!!
@Sean Embry - One of his biographers has said that as well.
If it has pictures in it like Fun with Dick and Jane, The little Engine That Could, or The Best of Playboy he'd probably be in to it.
We need to build a wall around the white house
The dude's a danger to society.
Just tell him there's a porn start witing for him at Trump Hotel, then build a wall around THAT
...after taking away any access he has to Twitter
Why? The president is only one person, he alone will not destroy this country.
Let's build four walls around Traitor Trump
"The TV is the only one who has seen me naked."
My brain tries to enjoy those witty oneliners, ... and forget the visuals immediately at the same time.
"Giant beaded curtain." OMG. LMAO.
Impeachment posible?
Don't think so, because Democrats seem to be on the record, to not engage in impeachment talks. It would taint their image before 2020
You bet!. Mueller time is nigh 🍺
Err gag ,nope no way its time for invoking the 25th amendment . Mueller time is too long.
Does the USA have an 'Emergency Solution' to these sort of deadlocks blocking funding? Like 'You are all fired, snap election to break the deadlock' or 'Overrule President via congress / senate vote'?
white chocolate
Totally possible.... That's Pelosi job.... Even trump knows that his Tax returns will impeach & indict him
John is always on top of the small key strokes when Stephen puts down an imaginary object
His piano is always in tune :((((((
Now calm down kiddos, if their is a shutdown, well nevermind i take that back WERE ALL GONNA DIE
☺️☺️☺️
**there** **we're**
@@ConsciousnessisRough yes ik i cannot English today.
Exactly what I been saying that mother Fucker will kill us all and he already has been killing us
Who's dying? America has had shutdowns before, nothing's going to happen anyway, like always.
Can the TV pull him into the next world like it did to that girl in Poltergeist now?
Or like the one in Dream Warriors! =D
...Though that wasn't so much the next world as... well, I guess in a sense it was?
@@hazukichanx408 Freddy wouldn't want him.
@New Message, you're my YT shadow friend. I keep seeing you on a lot of vids I watch. Just thought of saying, 'sup, bro.
Steel slats this week, cookies and cream next week?
Is this a South Park episode ?!
Don't know the answer to your question, but the subtitle is "The day the country seemed to die". How tragic
Jeez oh. I hope things get better for all you folk in the USA in the coming year. It is torture living with this eejit Trumps antics. Thank god for Colbert making it a wee bit more bearable
At this point he'll settle for a ... SHRUBBERY! ... wall (Dramatic Music)
Conservatives got convinced that the government funding for the wall is better for them that universal healthcare.
Jesus that is pathetic...
Yes bc millions pouring into our country would be great right? There goes all our healthcare money for free welfare for people who want to rake advantage of our broken system. What is logic?
@@shawncc89 Really? Illegal immigrants underpin the economies of California and Texas, and kicking them out would send your country into, at the very least, recession. You likely benefit from the cheap labour and productivity such illegals provide.
And your health care system IS broken! Obamacare tried hard to change the game but many of those who would most benefit from it voted against it. Can't argue with stupid.
@@Johnny6666 Obama care has ruined american lives, research more.
@@Johnny6666 More than just the economies of California and Texas, but you are correct that removing illegals would send the entire US economy into a tailspin. According to a study by the National Bureau of Economic Research, illegal immigrants add about $500 billion in economic output per year. Removing them would cost the US economy $5 trillion over a decade, or reduce GDP growth by 2.5% every year.
Note, this isn't just an estimate, but proven by research done in Alabama, Arizona, and North Carolina when they enacted "tough-on-illegal immigration" laws that caused the number of illegals in those states to drop.
When Arizona passed stricter immigration laws, there was a 2.5% decrease in the number of jobs NOT a gain. In fact, less than 10% of the jobs vacated by illegal immigrants were taken up by US born workers, leaving 90% of positions unfilled and leading to economic loss as those positions were closed or automated.
In Alabama, they lost $10.8 billion after passing harsher immigration enforcement laws, mostly due to rotting produce in fields, the effects of which cost 70,000 jobs in one year.
Why? Well, the University of Alabama conducted a study on this, offering to pay $15 an hour to Americans willing to work as farmhands. Less than half of the positions formerly held by illegals were filled, even with wages at $15 an hour, and those that did take the job on average quit after the first day. Fewer than 5% of American workers stayed on for the entire duration of the study.
The same study also found that it took 25 American workers to harvest the same amount of tomatoes as 4 Mexican workers in four hours of work. Those workers who quit were surveyed about why, with most citing the "hard work" and "heat" as being too oppressive.
In North Carolina, a study in 2011 offered up 6,500 farmhand jobs to 489,000 unemployed North Carolinians, where unemployment was over 10%. Only 268 took the job offer, and only 163 showed up to work on the first day. The study showed that only 7 (i.e. 3%) lasted until the end of the season. Meanwhile, of the Mexican workers (not illegals but under the H-2A visa) who filled the rest of the positions, the study shows over 90% finished the season with zero drop outs on the first day.
The study showed that native workers could only fill less than 0.10% of the jobs needed to keep the economy running. The study also showed that if unemployment rose to 14%, only 100 more workers would take the jobs.
So, after 30 years of study, we've discovered a horrifying fact. We literally can't replace our illegal workers with native born Americans. It's an impossibility. Even at over 10% unemployment with high wages at $15 an hour, Americans refused to do the work, so what makes Trump and his minions think they would do the work at 4% unemployment and less than $8 an hour?
Now, I don't like illegal immigration and we shouldn't ignore this problem, but we need realistic solutions not "pie-in-the-sky" dreams about building a big wall or mass deportation. A more sensible solution would be to set up more H-2A visas for agricultural workers so illegals could become legal workers for the seasonal work required of them.
Of course, H-2A visas require reams of paperwork, reporting to five different government agencies and can cost over $10,000 in time and money per worker hired. So it would be better to cut the red tape, reduce regulations, allow companies to report to only one agency, and reduce the fees. A simplified visa system for agricultural and construction workers would add an additional estimated $140 billion added to GDP per year.
The source on the North Carolina study:
www.newamericaneconomy.org/sites/all/themes/pnae/nc-agr-report-05-2013.pdf
It must be weird for Stephen and the writers to watch this show - which they film on Thursday - in the context of how much had changed in that 24 hours.
I feel it just goes to show you what kind of time we're living in. You go to sleep one night, wake up the next and find out you basically missed out on an entire month's worth of news.
Do you mean Stephen?
Cole warrior he means that the news cycle is insane in these times.
@Michael Anderson People bothering to point it out is getting old, so probably just trying to ignore it...
Michael Berthelsen hey. He said “whoosh!” Don’t get so upset. Whoosh! 😉
The Eastern Block had a good name for their "safety" wall. They called it The Iron Curtain.
It was actually the Berlin Wall. The iron curtain was figuritive, it didn't exist. Also, the Berlin Wall was made to keep the people in east Berlin, not to keep them out.
Winston Churchill called it the Iron Curtain
@@ianmuir3640 that was the 'wall' between democracy and communism. It wasn't an actual wall.
At this point, Trump's gonna have to settle for a card-"boarder" wall. Don't worry mr. president, I hear you can do lots of arts & crafts with those jumbo refrigerator boxes.
Just a bunch of random signs written on bits of cardboard saying "WALL" every ten feet or so. After all, it's the thought that counts, right? Take that, Mexico!
Steel Slats? It's a wonder he hasn't come up with Steel Curtain yet.
iron curtain?
Nope just steel venetian blinds
Brenda Anderson he’s not a Steelers fan perhaps 🤔
Stephen is so crazy. Johannesburg loves you. South Africa loves you. Keep it up....
God i can't wait to turn on the news the day Trump is hauled away in hand cuffs.
MILLIONS of people around the world are saying the same thing....just can't wait.😒
Washington DC chief of police "The arrest of the president took longer than expected. Our cuffs kept slipping off his tiny hands and we had to order special children-proof-cuffs to get him out of there."
He's been president since 2016. If he hasn't been arrested yet, do you really think he's going to be arrested now? Good luck in 2020.
@@liquidminds They can probably just borrow some kiddy-cuffs from ICE. I'd rather see them in Trump's wrists, that's for sure.
@@liquidminds We also tried to drag him away by his hair but it didn't take.
The simplest of tools.... hahaha. You nailed it Mister!
Okay, so no one is pointing out that, actually, congress can override the president if it can get a 2/3 majority in both houses. Did no one else take middle-school social studies?
No one in Congress, apparently. 😖
hello from your fans in the UK , we love your show and your awesome President --- a laugh a minute !!
Trump also promised a middle class tax cut right before the midterms when congress was out of session. He gave up on that promise without a second thought, but he is married to this one?
middle classes are not elite enough, they don't pay him either, the top 1% are all that matters to that cockroach. Put an orange wig on a cockroach, Trump appears...lol
LOL
The wall will make him money. His family will invest in these companies.
Peter Matthews: He just said that to get some more votes during the midterm election. Same with the Caravan of Doom.
‘The caravan received heavy coverage on Fox & Friends, where it was portrayed as “an invasion” that Democrats weren’t doing enough to stop. According to transcripts, the caravan was mentioned 19 times on Friday’s edition of the show, 10 times on Monday, and nine times on Tuesday. Fox News has even embedded a reporter with the caravan to provide updates about its progress.
Yet on Wednesday’s edition of Fox & Friends, it was mentioned just once in passing.’ Wednesday was the day after midterm elections.
I'd chip in to get him some legos and let him build his own wall.
Maggie Seider yes i like that idea we should all donate our Legos to the Whitehouse to help build the the dumptrump wall!!😆😊😀
@Honeysuckle Blossom Amen
Or just do a video of a lego wall made to look like the real thing and tell 45 the dems have already built it.
Honeysuckle Blossom
Damn....that is sooo good 😂🤣
Only a traitor to America would not want a border wall
I wonder if they are using American Steel or if they are using Chinese made steel.
Sometimes I wish the monologue would never (WALL) end.
You're a sick man… 😅🤪🧐✌
4th branch of government! Lol
Every time Trump doesn't get what he wants, he throws all the toys out of his pram.
The trouble is, America, they're your toys. Greetings from Australia.
I am too old to immigrate, or I would move to Australia. Greetings from Gettysburg, PA, historical freedom site in the USA.
@LocalToast jajajajajajajaja just because Europeans claim to make things better does not give them credit of invention jajajajajajajaja they should have invented soap before perfume LMAO
Hey, are you accepting immigrants? because I'd love to get the hell out of here. I'd rather deal with dangerous animals than the cornered coyote we have in office.
@LocalToast Yeah, but the only reason white people were able to make those innovations is because they did it on the backs of the profits of exploitation of cheap labor and stolen land; i.e. collonialism; i.e. slavery, power abuse, and conquest. If populations of native peoples in North America hadn't immediately been decimated by the diseases Europeans brought over, Europe wouldn't have been able to take the land, and wouldn't have had the land or resources to acquire and force labor to work the land to make them even more rich, and thus wouldn't have had the economic booms and systems that cultivated science and the arts. In fact, most of the "discoveries" of the Renaissance were actually just taken from Islamic scholars who'd worked a lot of the mathematical and medical "breakthroughs" out centuries before, while Europeans were slaughtering women for practicing folk medicine and calling them witches. 👏 During that period, the Islamic and Asian world lived in luxury and scientific innovation with excellent trading systems and great wealth, and nobody wanted to interact with those barbarians in Europe. In fact, Europe was so jealous of the Middle East and Asia that they made themselves feel better by preaching that austerity was a virtue, just so they had an excuse to look down on Middle Eastern and Asian peoples for their better quality of life, like a child that doesn't get what they want and thus insists that they didn't want it anyways and anyone who does is stupid. Of course, as soon as Europeans had the riches to be luxurious, they proved their hypocrisy by being as flashy and covetous as possible. It wasn't until Spain grew rich off the "New World" that Asia and the Middle East seriously and routinely began trading with them for spices, which kicked off Europe's era of prosperity and desire for world domination.
White people aren't innately more innovative; white people stole from others to acquire the power, time, resources, and luxury to do so.
Also, the Greeks and Romans weren't white, you dumbass. Those labels didn't even exist until the modern era of collonialism. The Romans were a cultural melting pot with roots in the traditions of Greece and Egypt, but also the governmental tactics of Persia; i.e. the Middle East, and their populations came from places in all of the above. If you went back in time and started ranting about white people, they'd think you mad.
Don't move to Australia it's fucked down here because of the third world immigration too many Indians.. WE NEED A TRUMP IN AUS..
Steel slats... isn’t that a fence? Don’t we already have one of those?
Yeah but obama put it there and it dont count. We gotta give the orange monster what he wants or he will shut us down
Eric Blair: All Walls are equal, but some walls are more equal than others.
ohh...the little toddler didn`t get what he wanted for christmas, and now someone has to pay .....wonder who that will be? Merry Christmas America.
This president guy needs a good kick in the slats.
He's already given folks like you a good kick in the chones...
And he has many tens of MILLIONS of us to back him.
Back under your rock, troll.
You know what else is made from steel slats? Step-ladders. You’re welcome, border jumpers 😂
Oh Adam that was great!
@@MAGAMAN-xr1rm Hey, hot dog, who's going to pick the beans? You? Welfare recipients? Senior citizens? Americans won't do those jobs.
@@donkeykong913 hey, hot dog, we don't need 13 million illegals to do that job either.
@@The1redman2
according to the Miami Times Trump's Mar A Largo applied for 61 visas allowing undocumented workers this summer. Bye-the-way, the membership fee to join this elite club is $200,000. I guess they can only afford to pay undocumented workers $12.00 or $13.00 an hour.
Don't want to strain the rich people's bank account.
@@MAGAMAN-xr1rm I don't think you understood this comment at all... And judging from your comment, it's really not surprising.
Perhaps we could persuade Trump that drinking mercury will make him immortal.
Paul Henry thats a great idea!
Have Bernie sanders tell him, dont drink Mercury and just out of spite he will!
We all live in FoxNation now,
With Donald TweetTard with the Launch Codes?
Thank goodness for Stephen Colbert
They need to change the news channel name to Fox and Friend
They should change the name of all late night 'comedy' shows to *PROPAGANDA*
@@FukU2222 someone is SUPER butthurt hahaha
Back off everyone!
A stable genius at work.
That last tweet about beaded curtains & porno sections at videos stores had me 💀👻⚰️🤣! Too funny!
Compromised Potus.
I Love your entire Late Show Team!!! You are brilliant and amazing!!! Thanks xoxoxoxox
Trump is the gift that keeps giving for comedians
Hahaha this orange clown keeps cracking me up every time ..I'll be waiting for the next episode over here in Amsterdam
Clean up your own house first, folks.
You have plenty to deal with.
He's similar to the character of Peter Sellers in the movie Being There, the difference with that character is Trump is racist, corrupt, malignant and even more idiotic than that character.
Chance the gardener was a cypher - Trump out and out owns his evil and simply doesn't care.
“He’s the simplest of tools.” Describes DUMP to a tee! LOL.
Remember two or three monologues back when some White House Insider said Trump doesn't like Christmas because "it isn't about him?" Well, this is Trump trying to fix that by making it all about him.
The Baby Trump should lie in a real stable, genius.
+Mark Lanzarotta Underrated comment