If You're Watching This, Thermonuclear War Hasn't Wiped Out Humanity

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  • Опубликовано: 23 дек 2024

Комментарии • 2,3 тыс.

  • @andrewharding5173
    @andrewharding5173 7 лет назад +279

    I love how whenever Stephen uses an invisible prop in a bit he always puts it away off screen, it's adorable

    • @Darebakable
      @Darebakable 7 лет назад +29

      Andrew Harding I'm so glad someone else noticed this! I always watch out for it in his monologues.

    • @bondjames8225
      @bondjames8225 7 лет назад +32

      Thats a sign of a trained actor lol. Improv 101, always maintain continuity.

    • @alexthomas6602
      @alexthomas6602 6 лет назад +19

      And john battese makes a low tune for putting things to the right and high to the left

    • @LittleKodomo
      @LittleKodomo 6 лет назад +4

      *Takes Giant Elephant*
      *Smashes piano using said elephant*

    • @FalcoNat
      @FalcoNat 6 лет назад +3

      The Steak *Puts Giant Elephant away off-screen*
      *Cleans up piano and puts all the pieces away with said elephant*

  • @headphoneactivist
    @headphoneactivist 7 лет назад +186

    "are they a sponsor ? Sure, why not".

  • @nicholasrandall3507
    @nicholasrandall3507 7 лет назад +948

    "Vault-Tec. A brighter future, underground."

  • @abbybarron8328
    @abbybarron8328 7 лет назад +1052

    I live in the south so I know alot of people who support Trump so watching Colbert heals my soul

    • @wantsome480
      @wantsome480 7 лет назад +19

      I'm in Michigan and I only know 2 Republicans. I know more gun owners then conservatives.

    • @cl9925
      @cl9925 7 лет назад +8

      Oh, poor you. How could you cope?

    • @clovergreens6858
      @clovergreens6858 7 лет назад +10

      Oh honey! I'm so sorry!
      (Hugs!)

    • @REDD4317
      @REDD4317 7 лет назад +1

      Abby Barron Its not you its us, we should probably break up and you need to move out... Sore loser

    • @ambernestorgregory2287
      @ambernestorgregory2287 7 лет назад +8

      Yes. It's like therapy! Same here Abby!

  • @boyanghu8730
    @boyanghu8730 7 лет назад +78

    "but the march didnt make Trump release his taxes, much like the Women's march didn't make him release his women".....GOLD, MR. COLBERT, GOLD

  • @suebarrow5973
    @suebarrow5973 7 лет назад +116

    'If the queen hears the sound of tic tacs in the golden coach run for it ...' hilarious rotflmao. This man is on fire

    • @seanperone449
      @seanperone449 7 лет назад +2

      Sue Barrow I didn't understand that joke. Is it a reference to something?

    • @mikeb.379
      @mikeb.379 7 лет назад +2

      The Billy Bush tape

    • @JSythe
      @JSythe 7 лет назад +6

      Sean Perone when trump said, "Grab them by the pussy." After he mentioned tic tacs.

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 7 лет назад +2

      Sue Barrow - yeah...and that's not a mental image I'm going to get rid of in a hurry. :/ Stuff of nightmares.

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 7 лет назад +1

      Sean Perone - TicTacs are used to freshen your breath - sleazy aid for a sex pest.

  • @heathmccasland
    @heathmccasland 7 лет назад +2691

    Watching Colbert is so much cheaper than therapy.

    • @nigelharvey640
      @nigelharvey640 7 лет назад +63

      Watching Colbert is so much more reliable than watching the actual news

    • @stgodless
      @stgodless 7 лет назад +36

      reading the comments is much better than suicide :)

    • @yidel229
      @yidel229 7 лет назад +2

      Heath McCasland are you still sad that trump won ?

    • @WhoIsElKabong
      @WhoIsElKabong 7 лет назад +30

      joe a you're still in denial electing him wad a good idea?

    • @theexotic2983
      @theexotic2983 7 лет назад +11

      Heath McCasland you joke but I hope you're okay 😊

  • @camelsheit_on_the_walls446
    @camelsheit_on_the_walls446 7 лет назад +161

    Lately I'm feeling as if I am part of an experiment gone completely awry: Humankind .

    • @allanthompson2497
      @allanthompson2497 7 лет назад +4

      42

    • @saradanhoff6539
      @saradanhoff6539 7 лет назад +4

      Don't worry, they're going to stop giving Deepmind LSD soon.

    • @davidhollenshead4892
      @davidhollenshead4892 7 лет назад +7

      Actually we just fell into an alternative universe, one which logic & basic human empathy don't exist.

    • @camelsheit_on_the_walls446
      @camelsheit_on_the_walls446 7 лет назад +7

      David Hollenshead Hmm.. something like that. Personally, from back when David Bowie's passing tore a hole in the fabric of reality, things have just felt more wrong/surreal than ever before.

    • @camdenfair493
      @camdenfair493 7 лет назад +6

      It's like we're in Fallout and this is our vaults experiment.

  • @erkperc
    @erkperc 7 лет назад +315

    Stephen is the only thing tethering me to sanity right now

    • @RAFMnBgaming
      @RAFMnBgaming 7 лет назад +10

      I find sellotape is a pretty good psychological tether. it really does fix anything.

    • @Chunkboi
      @Chunkboi 7 лет назад +6

      HASEnoncorperated Duct tape works better.

    • @Dwight511
      @Dwight511 7 лет назад +1

      Then you're really fucking stupid.

    • @kendomyers
      @kendomyers 7 лет назад

      Daniel Pogosyan
      Non sequitur

    • @erkperc
      @erkperc 7 лет назад +4

      Well the FIRST two comments were good.

  • @silentwhisp4r670
    @silentwhisp4r670 7 лет назад +684

    Clearly The Donald confused Kim Jong Un with Psy who is a Gentleman.

    • @CNWhatImSaiyan
      @CNWhatImSaiyan 7 лет назад +39

      I hear he got it from his Daddy

    • @1234klipper
      @1234klipper 7 лет назад +2

      HA! Love it!

    • @a2falcone
      @a2falcone 7 лет назад +9

      Haha! But he actually confused Kim Jong Un with Kim Jong Il. He then started talking about what the "gentleman" did during Clinton's administration.

    • @gamer7916
      @gamer7916 7 лет назад +23

      He's not a Gentlemen. He's a Mother Father Gentlemen!!! *does Psy dance and harasses women*

    • @judlester9640
      @judlester9640 7 лет назад

      CN What I'm Saiyan? N

  • @titi53221
    @titi53221 7 лет назад +18

    The "UHK"
    Genius 😂😂😂

  • @PhillipTimothy
    @PhillipTimothy 7 лет назад +1282

    Who else feels like Colbert is helping you get through the next 4 years?

    • @kyokyoniizukyo7171
      @kyokyoniizukyo7171 7 лет назад +3

      ha, snowflancK!

    • @candidorodriguez85
      @candidorodriguez85 7 лет назад +14

      Phillip Timothy hell this show helped me cope since December.

    • @mavendeo
      @mavendeo 7 лет назад +7

      Kyononnon 'why did Gmail screw me over?'
      What the hell is a "snowflancK"?

    • @Ou8y2k2
      @Ou8y2k2 7 лет назад +12

      Colbert and SNL. They're like heroin for thinkers.

    • @OhCrap247
      @OhCrap247 7 лет назад +3

      Or just 4 short moments before the war breaks out

  • @AngryKittens
    @AngryKittens 7 лет назад +319

    Yup. He's going to war with a guy he doesn't even know the name of. Just like how he thought his cruise missiles were going to "Iraq", not Syria.

    • @phoebe5843
      @phoebe5843 7 лет назад +18

      Angreh Kittunz he's got dementia !

    • @Amigo21189
      @Amigo21189 7 лет назад +5

      He's not experiencing dementia. Well, he might be, but this gaffe isn't a sign of it. He doesn't know because he's not in control. He's a fucking empty suit. A chew toy for the real powers-that-be to toss to ignorant Americans while they sell weapons to their own country with which to bomb the fuck out of the Middle East. At retail markup!

    • @phoebe5843
      @phoebe5843 7 лет назад +1

      Angreh Kittunz that's even worse !

    • @daphnelegge4488
      @daphnelegge4488 7 лет назад

      Phoebe Guquib
      .

  • @stillyas85
    @stillyas85 7 лет назад +111

    Colbert is brutal and this is not even a cable show.

  • @joeblack4436
    @joeblack4436 7 лет назад +45

    "doesn't want to telegraph was his thinking"
    ???
    What?
    He tweets 24/7 exactly what he's thinking.

  • @LabMatt
    @LabMatt 7 лет назад +1485

    "The election is over!" says the guy who keeps talking about how much better he is than Hillary Clinton.

    • @tyrionlannister467
      @tyrionlannister467 7 лет назад +2

      Lab Matt Hillary still a bad ombré who wanted to outlaw weed and profit off of it

    • @contentedbuddha
      @contentedbuddha 7 лет назад +43

      Lab Matt The election is over, Trump is president, he is responsible and should be held responsible for all actions of his government. He should be compared to what the other candidates had planned and to other governments around the world.
      That's how it works, whoever is president.

    • @Zzyzzyzzs
      @Zzyzzyzzs 7 лет назад +89

      "The election is over, people shouldn't be rallying!", says the guy who's held a dozen rallies since the election ended.

    • @Kereea
      @Kereea 7 лет назад +41

      And the guy who's already running his reelection campaign so he can keep doing rallies and fundraising since those are the parts he actually likes instead of, you know, running the damn country.

    • @Barrobroadcastmaster
      @Barrobroadcastmaster 7 лет назад

      Proof?

  • @allenmartin9375
    @allenmartin9375 7 лет назад +37

    As a veteran I find it offensive for Mr. Pence to wear a uniform which he doesn't deserve to wear.

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 7 лет назад +2

      al mar - quite so. And thank you for serving sir. Much respect from the UK. ;)

    • @royalspin
      @royalspin 7 лет назад +3

      And what about Trump doing the same thing ? He dodged the draft 5 times I believe or was it only 4 ? They all disgust me .A bunch of blood thirsty war mongers who've never served or had to take a life but casually decide the fate of our people and those who's lands we're sent into take for the oil companies . This game has gotten old .

    • @mellow_mallow
      @mellow_mallow 7 лет назад

      Allen Martin 👍

  • @Drivertilldeath
    @Drivertilldeath 7 лет назад +7

    Full monolog without it being cut up thanks for this :), good times!

  • @DeterminedDIYer
    @DeterminedDIYer 7 лет назад +186

    I love how he always brings up winning the election but says the tax thing is in the past.

    • @Gottenhimfella
      @Gottenhimfella 6 лет назад +5

      Indeed. When he says, by way of dismissing the tax marchers, "The election is over", he's effectively saying "I only promised to release my taxes in order to win the election".
      Once his promises deliver the desired result, he feels no compunction about admitting they were made dishonestly, to get him whatever he wanted at that moment in time.
      Never underestimate the unlimited supply of suckers because they're literally born by the minute.

  • @Mila-Nova
    @Mila-Nova 7 лет назад +40

    I hate when he takes 1 week breaks. I need his rants and comedy to keep sane😂

  • @teosweekin
    @teosweekin 7 лет назад +471

    Finally, a good 12mins vid after a week without Colbert. Waited too long for this.

  • @alicesrabbit7126
    @alicesrabbit7126 7 лет назад +1304

    like my mother always said...it's only funny until there's a fucking mushroom cloud. :S

    • @theywalkinguptoyouand4060
      @theywalkinguptoyouand4060 7 лет назад +1

      Queenie Isn't Here doubt it

    • @polyorchid528
      @polyorchid528 7 лет назад +2

      Which holocaust? There have been a few but you follow the the Jewish rhetoric, otherwise you'd define which holocaust you mean. Well done sucker.

    • @BreedofDMC6669
      @BreedofDMC6669 7 лет назад +4

      Queenie Isn't Here Hehehehehehe "Fall Out".

    • @NocturnalNick
      @NocturnalNick 7 лет назад +1

      He's sayin Queenie is brainwashed by ze Jews

    • @RKroese
      @RKroese 7 лет назад +9

      I understand. I'm saying he doesn't know what he is talking about. There has only been one Hebrew 'burnt sacrifice'. Maybe he means 'Incensum', you know... Catholic burning to death of protestants?
      Anyway, Jews are not the problem. Ignorance is the problem.
      And ignorance literally knows no bounds.

  • @wizdom774
    @wizdom774 7 лет назад +4

    Thank you Stephen. Thank you for helping me get through this. Hopefully I'll find time to be in your audience soon. And, thanks to your crew...I don't know you but I love you

  • @audreysaid2235
    @audreysaid2235 7 лет назад +16

    Stephen is so adorable! I could not stop smiling! ~ so thankful for this youtube channel rn ~

  • @brendanrobertson123
    @brendanrobertson123 7 лет назад +6

    the best late night cable talk show by far. I hope CBS keeps Colbert for decades.

  • @tilaNmanx
    @tilaNmanx 7 лет назад +199

    Also thanks for the full monologue again ♥😊

    • @user-yk7km5yh5z
      @user-yk7km5yh5z 7 лет назад +19

      sshhh! don't remind them! they probably forgot about this after the break!

  • @therepublicofdiarrhea7792
    @therepublicofdiarrhea7792 7 лет назад +1325

    Trump's hair always looks like it just experienced thermonuclear war.

    • @Shu-ig5fi
      @Shu-ig5fi 7 лет назад +1

      ^^^

    • @op2265
      @op2265 7 лет назад +1

      I find your name offensive, mind if you change it?

    • @mavendeo
      @mavendeo 7 лет назад +6

      FlameSight
      Probably not.

    • @Kuckerkarlson
      @Kuckerkarlson 7 лет назад +10

      FlameSight god loves porn man get over it

    • @MrBloodbunny
      @MrBloodbunny 7 лет назад +2

      XD too funny :)

  • @ethanworner864
    @ethanworner864 7 лет назад +14

    One of the best monologues in quite a while.

  • @rettwoods
    @rettwoods 7 лет назад +27

    Oh my God. "Dictator-tot" got me so good.

  • @rampage8724
    @rampage8724 7 лет назад +16

    As a time traveling hipster from the year 3000, I can confirm that while I am watching this video, humanity has been wiped out by thermonuclear war.

    • @kt-zn4yu
      @kt-zn4yu 6 лет назад +2

      Rampage i’m not sure why, but i have the feeling you’re lying 🤔

  • @mahatmarfigo
    @mahatmarfigo 7 лет назад +319

    Christ, this world is lost. I'll just sit here with a beer and wait for this whole thing to blow over.

    • @ItsFishyTricks
      @ItsFishyTricks 7 лет назад +37

      More like blow up!

    • @kyokyoniizukyo7171
      @kyokyoniizukyo7171 7 лет назад +5

      enjoy, the fireworks are such enjoyable sights...wait, your not referring to fourth of July?

    • @NotoriusBenjamin
      @NotoriusBenjamin 7 лет назад

      ItsFishyTricks k

    • @Kuckerkarlson
      @Kuckerkarlson 7 лет назад +6

      Mr. Figo stock up on that beer buddy your going to be there for a long time

    • @jamesbonq
      @jamesbonq 7 лет назад +2

      The armada is still near Australia. It was fake news, apparently.

  • @xoxoCo2001
    @xoxoCo2001 7 лет назад +4

    I've actually been only watching stephens monologues all day long and I've never laughed so hard so often, that man is such a savage, holy fuck- best day ever!

  • @iyayan_
    @iyayan_ 7 лет назад +41

    Barack and Michelle Obama, Bruce Springsteen, Oprah Winfrey, and Tom Hanks got on a boat together...there's no punchline, you just wish you were there.

    • @imisstoronto3121
      @imisstoronto3121 7 лет назад +4

      sounds like a party I'd give a major body part to be invited to!!

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 7 лет назад +3

      imiss toronto - Tom Hanks for President!!

    • @13lack13ird
      @13lack13ird 7 лет назад

      imiss toronto nice username

  • @JimiJah
    @JimiJah 7 лет назад

    @4:23 - priceless moment...
    Thank You!!!!!
    Lots of Love, from Lisbon, Portugal !

  • @AlwaysANemesis
    @AlwaysANemesis 7 лет назад +42

    You know, I didn't think I'd miss Obama? But I seriously want that guy back at this point.

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 7 лет назад +7

      Hoopdy - don't we all honey.

    • @Lowkeylie
      @Lowkeylie 4 года назад

      Hell, at this point I’d settle for Bush.

    • @iherixxon
      @iherixxon 4 года назад

      it’s alr we have his vp

  • @seir323
    @seir323 7 лет назад +14

    Wait, the Obama's were on a yacht with Oprah, Tom Hanks, and Bruce Springsteen?
    That sounds like it could be either the most epic strategy meeting, or a weirdly chill dinner party among people there usually is no chill around. WEIRD

  • @Shnecko
    @Shnecko 7 лет назад +73

    I'd rather be in a Vault Tec bunker with an ice-cold Nuka-Cola®.

    • @anthonyseboe4646
      @anthonyseboe4646 7 лет назад +5

      If I whent shopping for vaults, Would I be a vault hunter?

    • @mellow_mallow
      @mellow_mallow 7 лет назад

      Chris hope you enjoy the white noise and Gary.

    • @puellamagi1232
      @puellamagi1232 6 лет назад

      Are you sure about that? We all know about the crazy experiments....

  • @emmanuelchalwe6289
    @emmanuelchalwe6289 7 лет назад +4

    These monologues kick so much ass!!!!

  • @gregorcollins
    @gregorcollins 7 лет назад +37

    The writing on this show, especially in these political diatribes, is unmatched anywhere on tv.

  • @MarxistKnight
    @MarxistKnight 7 лет назад +20

    I'd rant about how hypocritical it is for Trump to complain about people going on about his tax returns after how much he went on about Obama releasing his birth certificate, but he knows what he's doing, he just doesn't care.

  • @jerryto803
    @jerryto803 7 лет назад +2122

    "The Election is over", says the guy who holds campaign rallies AFTER becoming President.

    • @joey6249
      @joey6249 7 лет назад +51

      Jerry To
      Dude.. he still holds freaking rallies.... unbelievable.

    • @camelsheit_on_the_walls446
      @camelsheit_on_the_walls446 7 лет назад +67

      Well, he needs to feed his empty ego with trumpfan energy every so often, he's that creepy kind of a vampire.

    • @dsmithers944
      @dsmithers944 7 лет назад +6

      Loser democrats.

    • @titaniumburst1606
      @titaniumburst1606 7 лет назад

      Jerry To every president does that

    • @joey6249
      @joey6249 7 лет назад +42

      Hahaha, yeah. The democrats lost when the republicans voted and sold away ALL of our data to isp providers. Holy fuck, watching tom cotton get ravaged by his constituents didn't give me the image of democrats losing.
      Hahaha it's like they think their party is some kind of a sports team and there's a scorekeeper/referee.. wake the fuck up

  • @yaraa9351
    @yaraa9351 7 лет назад +21

    The 'CBS will kill me for doing this' is the best running joke on the show

  • @Mexicanbeatle15
    @Mexicanbeatle15 7 лет назад +50

    I love you Stephen. pls dont leave me again

  • @ImDemonAlchemist
    @ImDemonAlchemist 7 лет назад +3

    I love Stephen's comedy style. That bunker tag line joke was wonderfully delivered.

  • @justinlewis7575
    @justinlewis7575 7 лет назад +6

    I love Steven Colbert! Keeps me smiling through these weird times....

  • @kennethnash598
    @kennethnash598 7 лет назад +87

    The Queen has more time in military than Trump

  • @sparkpaul
    @sparkpaul 7 лет назад +22

    Stephen Colbert is awesome!

  • @kjamison5951
    @kjamison5951 7 лет назад +29

    Time to start running those 'Duck and cover' movies again…

    • @PrisonKilljoy
      @PrisonKilljoy 7 лет назад +8

      OMG...I need to buy a flimsy school desk or else I'm doomed!

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 7 лет назад +3

      PrisonKilljoy - yeah. Wonder if IKEA will be stocking flat pack nuclear bunkers anytime soon?!?

  • @TheCNYMike
    @TheCNYMike 7 месяцев назад +3

    And rewatching on RUclips 7 years later.

  • @soulcalx
    @soulcalx 7 лет назад +16

    Colbert i missed you so much i watch you while i have tea its the best lol

  • @kjamison5951
    @kjamison5951 7 лет назад +81

    Mike Pence: "I feel the need, the need for … asking my wife if I can finish this movie quote."

  • @LightningGlass
    @LightningGlass 7 лет назад +1248

    I think Trump calls him this gentleman because he's confusing him with PSY.

    • @BlackBTX
      @BlackBTX 7 лет назад +37

      Seems legit. Just about now he confused Australia with North Korea and sent the aircraft carrier to the wrong continent.

    • @egazer7165
      @egazer7165 7 лет назад +1

      BlackBTX
      Seriously?
      like for realms now?

    • @BlackBTX
      @BlackBTX 7 лет назад +8

      for all realms in between Korea and Australia, yes :P

    • @crush7877
      @crush7877 7 лет назад +5

      Thank you so much for your racist joke - ♡ South Korean

    • @BlackBTX
      @BlackBTX 7 лет назад +28

      Well it's not actually a racist joke.
      First of all Trump is a rather racist guy who confuses everything and everyone and doesn't even know that Belgium is not a city - so he might actually seriously confuse Kim Jong Un and PSY.
      Second - PSY is Korean, right? No matter if you like it or not, North and South Korea are populated by people of the same race. It's just that one of the two countries has the misfortune of being ruled by a crazy leader. But all are the same race. Just like Steven Colbert and Donald Trump.
      Hence it is not racist. You're welcome.

  • @flyingninjafish1558
    @flyingninjafish1558 7 лет назад +176

    With the way things are going all that time playing fallout will have played off.

    • @jeremygeller9145
      @jeremygeller9145 7 лет назад +4

      Only problem is most of us are going to be dead ghouls or maybe the enclave is already a thing so we will have to see

    • @flyingninjafish1558
      @flyingninjafish1558 7 лет назад +1

      Actually a lot of people will already have plans and supplies ready in case of nuclear war, so I think it's safe to say we will survive for at least a few decades after the bombs drop.

    • @perpetualpolymath5961
      @perpetualpolymath5961 7 лет назад +2

      Cannot wait!!! I wanna be a ghoul.

    • @jamlaminnswordhand5402
      @jamlaminnswordhand5402 7 лет назад +5

      Does it count if I already live in Vegas?

    • @Yonkage
      @Yonkage 7 лет назад +6

      I really don't want to join the NCR, but seeing where I live, I probably don't have a choice.
      I am collecting bobby pins, though. Can never have enough of those.

  • @nathannuk3319
    @nathannuk3319 7 лет назад +124

    I saw almost all his videos even know am not even AMERICAN

    • @alvinyu2424
      @alvinyu2424 6 лет назад +2

      Same I'm Hongkongese

    • @Violinist265
      @Violinist265 6 лет назад +2

      Same here🙋‍♀️

    • @AlphoxHD
      @AlphoxHD 6 лет назад +2

      *though

    • @ChrisSeahorse
      @ChrisSeahorse 6 лет назад +3

      Stephen Colbert's humour transcends nationality and appeals to anyone who appreciates good humour and cares about the state of this planet.

    • @Violinist265
      @Violinist265 6 лет назад +2

      @@ChrisSeahorse
      Exactly 👍🏻🤜🏻🤛🏻

  • @reachtrita
    @reachtrita 7 лет назад +6

    Love, love, love this show!! Colbert and his team are awesome!

  • @nobodyknows6040
    @nobodyknows6040 7 лет назад +917

    It's 2017 and we still censor out middle fingers. What are we, 12 years old or something?

    • @dishantmishra3940
      @dishantmishra3940 7 лет назад +62

      Sophia N that's called sarcasm mate.

    • @kettle2293
      @kettle2293 7 лет назад +6

      Nobody Knows And after 11pm!

    • @taregunner7872
      @taregunner7872 7 лет назад +21

      That's because Americans are bigotted prudes. In Europe for instance, censoring is by far not as rigorous because nobody makes a big deal out of it if there is some obscenity.

    • @PrisonKilljoy
      @PrisonKilljoy 7 лет назад +21

      Sophia N I think s/he's referring to the Janet Jackson Super Bowl debacle. #nipplegate

    • @mushnoodle
      @mushnoodle 7 лет назад +30

      somehow it looks even more offensive with the censor lol

  • @chipahoy3530
    @chipahoy3530 7 лет назад +57

    Colbert, the King of Savage.

  • @ShinobiNintendo
    @ShinobiNintendo 7 лет назад +26

    He tweets "The election is over!" yet he still brags about his "historic" win 5 months ago.

  • @SchMasHed
    @SchMasHed 7 лет назад +9

    "Michelle plagiarized Milania for once" - I fucking lost it.

  • @eduardoendaracorrea196
    @eduardoendaracorrea196 7 лет назад +30

    Mike pence looks like a top gun back up actor

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 7 лет назад +5

      eduardo endara - I thought he looks more like he should be standing in a shop window as a mannequin wearing a suit.

    • @kathleenrobertson67
      @kathleenrobertson67 7 лет назад +3

      eduardo endara i was thinking more alongthelines of Hannibal from the
      A Team..

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 7 лет назад

      Kathleen Robertson - nah. Not action-man enough.

  • @ItsWithakayLee
    @ItsWithakayLee 7 лет назад +4

    Stephen is the best, needed this show back in my life

  • @davidvilela4347
    @davidvilela4347 7 лет назад +718

    We're fucked

    • @davidvilela4347
      @davidvilela4347 7 лет назад +54

      Congratulations America

    • @suebarrow5973
      @suebarrow5973 7 лет назад +23

      David Vilela yeah you've really done it this time.

    • @rmtrainer7
      @rmtrainer7 7 лет назад +16

      We're so very fucked

    • @ImTheJoker4u
      @ImTheJoker4u 7 лет назад +11

      We're so fucked. Shit out of luck. Hardwired to self destruct. - Metallica "Hardwired". I think they knew this shit was coming!!

    • @davidtimmer596
      @davidtimmer596 7 лет назад +9

      Yeah, we're really doomed. If World War 3 happens, which is very likely with the North Korea provocation, I'm not fighting and moving out of America.

  • @musicadeamor
    @musicadeamor 7 лет назад +4

    Thanks for the laughs! you are amazing!

  • @cheryljohnson6542
    @cheryljohnson6542 7 лет назад +2

    Dear Steven...You're hilarious...Thank you so much for you & your show's unbeatable talent. Your writers are brilliant & your delivery is excellent. :) Don't know what rational thinking US citizens could have done to endure & survive laughingly what's happening.

  • @Onus6688
    @Onus6688 7 лет назад +3

    Steven is keeping me from giving up on humans. Please never stop doing this show... x.x

  • @lornaginetteharrison414
    @lornaginetteharrison414 7 лет назад +27

    Keep your tiny hands off our Queen, Mr. Trump! DO NOT get frisky with Her Majesty in a "golden carriage"!

    • @lornaginetteharrison414
      @lornaginetteharrison414 7 лет назад +8

      BTW, Queen Elizabeth II would TOTALLY kick Donald Trump's ass.
      Seriously - that woman fights dirty!

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 7 лет назад +4

      Lorna Ginette Harrison - yeah. Who knows what the old girl keeps in that big black handbag. She'd probably be packing a couple of bricks for the occasion. And a Taser gun, just in case. I'd also advise a tin of mace, ma'am.

    • @tombouric
      @tombouric 7 лет назад +1

      +Judi O'Regan
      If I were her, I'd just settle with a mace.

    • @ammaleslie509
      @ammaleslie509 2 года назад +1

      @@lornaginetteharrison414 I would definitely take QE2 in that fight. That woman knows how to handle horses and fix jeeps... I think she can probably handle herself against the likes of trump.

  • @Shot0fJack
    @Shot0fJack 7 лет назад +11

    I just love the fact that the Obamas are hanging out with Oprah, Tom Hanks, and Bruce Springsteen lol good people in good company. Also I too miss Joe 😔

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 7 лет назад

      Jack McDerment - yeah. Sun, surf, a great cocktail and even better company. The greatest in fact. All they need is Morgan Freeman - clever, witty, laconic and laid back; Samuel L Jackson - seriously smart and funny dude; Billy Connolly - funniest dude on the planet; Stephen Fry - an urbane, witty delight; Helen Mirren - gifted; sassy, sexy and simply doesn't give a shit; Judi Dench - smart, warm, funny and very giggly, especially when Billy's around; Ellen DeGeneres - clever, empathic, funny and courageous, and Taylor Kitsch - warm, intelligent, laid back, with a typically bone dry, razor sharp, sarcastic Canadian wit, and his gorgeousness wouldn't hurt either.
      Doesn't get much better than that. Now that is a party I would kill to get an invite for.

  • @OhCrap247
    @OhCrap247 7 лет назад +61

    I know we like to joke around about trump having nuclear codes and button on the finger stuff but shit is getting real fast and real soon. This not gonna end well for anyone

    • @Thumbsupurbum
      @Thumbsupurbum 7 лет назад +12

      Well, the cockroaches that inherit the scorched earth will probably be alright.

    • @JPk5563
      @JPk5563 7 лет назад +6

      we are joking and having fun but boy oh boy. I am scared shitless

    • @allegramontes8360
      @allegramontes8360 7 лет назад

      Flintstoned lmfaoooo😂 *high five*

  • @Gymnopediea
    @Gymnopediea 7 лет назад +1

    Sometimes I just marvel at the charm of Stephen Colbert's delivery. So good. Like crazy on fleek. :P

  • @Outamyhead
    @Outamyhead 7 лет назад +2

    "...But you're in a bunker lined in lead". Fixed the bunker slogan.

  • @wolv0223
    @wolv0223 7 лет назад +4

    Colbert: "That's guy's in charge of the U S A."
    Me: "Ha! I feel bad for whatever city he suckered into cheering for him at that rally."
    Colbert: "Now that was in Louisville, last year"
    Me: "Ah god damn it! Louisville, my home town! You're supposed to be the good part of Ky!"

  • @devenderhai
    @devenderhai 7 лет назад +11

    Stephen has best monologue of all late night hosts ....!!!

  • @Louise91
    @Louise91 7 лет назад +14

    top gun halloween costume lolol

  • @tonyagordon6998
    @tonyagordon6998 7 лет назад +11

    I love Stephen Colbert :)

  • @Toomuchlaffing
    @Toomuchlaffing 7 лет назад +1

    "Oh no. Your majesty if you hear the sound of tic tacs just open the door and roll out." LOLOL

  • @ChrisBrengel
    @ChrisBrengel 7 лет назад +57

    "'Trump is more impulsive and unpredictable than Kim Jong Un.' Well then Russia, you should have thought of that before you elected him!" LOL!

  • @global.american
    @global.american 7 лет назад +7

    can we start a petition to counter the UK's that petitions to ban him from coming back into the country after visiting the UK?

    • @margueritejohnson6407
      @margueritejohnson6407 7 лет назад

      Jenna M NO NO NO. If he comes, it'll be a working visit. No Queen, no address to Parliament and no gold carriage. This much is decided. Also, I hope, nobody in the streets. And we don't want him. Don't care where he goes afterwards, but he's not staying here a minute longer than planned. Sorry

    • @royalspin
      @royalspin 7 лет назад

      Well you know accidents do happen .. However I'd much rather see him squirming under the hot lights being impeached and see the rest of his phoney christian clowns get the boot .

  • @coryryder9070
    @coryryder9070 7 лет назад +10

    there was one rally atleast where trump said " punch them in the face and he would pay for legal fees"

  • @toasega
    @toasega 7 лет назад +4

    "If you're watching this, Thermonuclear War hasn't wiped out humanity."
    Pity.

  • @SANCTIOND
    @SANCTIOND 7 лет назад +1

    I don't know about anybody else, but i think the idea of a "Strategic Likability Reserve" is needed and pretty accurate XD

  • @Argumemnon
    @Argumemnon 7 лет назад +114

    "The election is over"? Then why do you spend most of your time bragging about the election?

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 7 лет назад +43

      Argumemnon - that's all he has left.

  • @jaspreetpooni423
    @jaspreetpooni423 7 лет назад +8

    Stephen looks so good ☺️

  • @Yonkage
    @Yonkage 7 лет назад +38

    "Everlast Subterranean Lead-Lined Bunkers."
    Brought to you by Vault-Tec!

    • @kwintin1000
      @kwintin1000 7 лет назад +2

      The world is starting to become just as nonsensical as the Fallout universe.

    • @bee5440
      @bee5440 7 лет назад

      Yonkage there'd be some cruel experiments, all right

  • @dandelan
    @dandelan 3 года назад +1

    7:43.... Little did we know that those were actually only dress rehearsals for January 6... And he didn't suffer any consequenses whatsoever then or now... Unbelieveable!

  • @lockergr
    @lockergr 7 лет назад +1

    Such a darned good show. Colbert is always so likable.

  • @terryschilling5320
    @terryschilling5320 7 лет назад +27

    Colbert does the best Trump impression by far, it's hilarious!

    • @kaitlync5110
      @kaitlync5110 7 лет назад +2

      Terry Schilling yeah! Trevor Noah's is pretty good too tbh.

  • @AkashKumar-iq8wg
    @AkashKumar-iq8wg 7 лет назад +10

    The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: This war season die laughing

  • @dynamitejimi
    @dynamitejimi 7 лет назад +17

    Nice Pepsi dig lmao

  • @maggiemonroe7299
    @maggiemonroe7299 7 лет назад +1

    So funny, so true. It's really never been easier, but Colbert is a master of his craft-m

  • @brettcoelho5680
    @brettcoelho5680 7 лет назад +1

    Thank God for you Stephen, after my children, you are my reason to live

  • @bujin1977
    @bujin1977 7 лет назад +33

    Yep. 1.8 million people signed that petition (including me). After 10,000 signatures, the government will respond. After 100,000 signatures it's considered for debate in parliament. And what happened as a result of those 1.8 million signatures? Our disgusting prime minister said "f*ck you all" (I may be paraphrasing slightly).
    And now we're going to have a general election when there's no opposition party, so we're going to be stuck with her for a long time to come.
    I wish we had a Stephen Colbert over here to take the edge off the disaster.

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 7 лет назад +2

      bujin1977 - me too mate. She has to kiss Trump's arse anyway. After Brexit, she's gonna need all the trade she can get.

    • @presidentwoodrow
      @presidentwoodrow 7 лет назад +1

      +Judi O'Regan i would say wait for 9th June but yeah beardy couldn't run a bath let alone an election campaign

    • @vathek5958
      @vathek5958 7 лет назад +1

      Technically at 100,000 it goes before the Back Bench Business Committee, but this was the first petition to be denied a debate (and the largest ever) so yeah, basically. Oh well, at least I get to vote once before fucking off to uni in Europe.

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 7 лет назад +1

      presidentwoodrow - true. Bit of a damp squib really, isn't he. I wouldn't trust him to lead us in a chorus of Koom Bya, let alone lead our country.

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 7 лет назад

      Vathek - haha! Godspeed mate!!

  • @waderedsox
    @waderedsox 7 лет назад +7

    i feel like "el presidumpty" is a more appropriate name for king tiny hands

  • @rumaysahshafi9949
    @rumaysahshafi9949 7 лет назад +90

    You know how we joked about Trump becoming president? Then it happened?
    Then we joked about how it would bring about World War 3? Well, hahahahaha, haha, *cries tears of panic and turns shed into nuclear shelter* it's happening.
    I live in Jolly Old England and we've got a prison cell in Azkaban with Trump's name on it if he EVER tries to invade Narnia. Just saying.

    • @RaseckoII
      @RaseckoII 7 лет назад +8

      Rumaysah Shafi 😂😂😁😀😅😅😅🤔😐😓😭😭🌎🔫💀

    • @jdevaughn42
      @jdevaughn42 7 лет назад +13

      Rumaysah Shafi the Dementers kiss would not be effective... trump has no soul

  • @seetjhe
    @seetjhe 7 лет назад +1

    One of the best opening monologue! #colbertnation !!

  • @evrena5210
    @evrena5210 7 лет назад +1

    Great interview. Love his evil laugh at the end haha!

  • @lillililli1726
    @lillililli1726 7 лет назад +3

    love you Stephen 👏👏👏👏👏🙌🙌🙌

  • @lozman67
    @lozman67 7 лет назад +61

    If Trump does come to Britain, we plan to give him his wish for lots of gold. In the manner of Prince Viserys in Game of Thrones.

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 7 лет назад +5

      lozman67 - oh now, that so would be worth resurrecting Khal Drogo just for that purpose. ;)

    • @flyinspirals
      @flyinspirals 7 лет назад +4

      lozman67 We will be eternally grateful.

    • @ducovanderwoude6971
      @ducovanderwoude6971 7 лет назад +3

      lozman67 wel, he is into golden showers

    • @MySerpentine
      @MySerpentine 6 лет назад

      Crassus

    • @Lowkeylie
      @Lowkeylie 4 года назад

      Planning on decorating him in the same manner as he decorates one of his tacky buildings?

  • @Who-Dunnit
    @Who-Dunnit 7 лет назад +27

    "This gentleman".....he forgot his name, 100%. Kim Jong errr....errrr.....

  • @szopaful
    @szopaful 7 лет назад +1

    Colbert is savage. I love it.

  • @xp3ll3d
    @xp3ll3d 7 лет назад +1

    I much prefer these long format videos, rather than the cut up 4 min ones