Giuliani Acted With Trump's "Knowledge And Consent" When Conspiring With Parnas In Ukraine

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  • Опубликовано: 11 янв 2025

Комментарии • 3,1 тыс.

  • @sawahtb
    @sawahtb 5 лет назад +730

    I guess we will find out if the GOP has a shred of dignity left.

  • @FrankieJamesNews
    @FrankieJamesNews 5 лет назад +787

    Best phrase of 2020: "The Articles of Impeachment against Donald John Trump"

    • @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494
      @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 5 лет назад +60

      I'm still holding out for "The conviction and sentencing of Donald John Trump"...
      ...I guess one can dream.

    • @Vagajammer
      @Vagajammer 5 лет назад +9

      @@JT-xj1pg Drumpf won't release it unless he gets to co-star in it.

    • @Dakhoth
      @Dakhoth 5 лет назад +13

      @markmac I think we're more likely to see "disgraced president fakes heart attack."

    • @spacerivernews
      @spacerivernews 5 лет назад +4

      Didn't know the j in donald j trump was john. Learned something new today.

    • @davidhollenshead4892
      @davidhollenshead4892 5 лет назад +4

      The best phrase of 2021 will be "We executed the Russian Asset known as Donald J. Trump at 12:01 am..."

  • @thechumpsbeendumped.7797
    @thechumpsbeendumped.7797 5 лет назад +161

    Thank goodness someone in the State Department had Yovanivitch’s back and “got her out on the next plane”. I wonder what they know but can’t prove yet?

    • @alexanderrussell7597
      @alexanderrussell7597 5 лет назад +10

      The DSS is an excellent organisation.
      When you have a president who even in his convoluted mind, he’s even consider to whack one of the state department’s ambassador because she didn’t want to do an illegal act to forego an action benefiting trumps chances for the 2020 election.

    • @johnabbot1585
      @johnabbot1585 5 лет назад +4

      We need access to that safe...

  • @JamesFilbird
    @JamesFilbird 5 лет назад +181

    Outstanding monologue Stephen. You're a breath of fresh air after a full day of enduring all the madness going on in the world. Keep up the great comedy and entertainment you give us in each of your performances.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 5 лет назад +2

      Gotta laugh, even if it's maniacal.

    • @bubbles3161
      @bubbles3161 5 лет назад +1

      That's what you get when you get your news from late shows that are classified as comedy entertainment. LOL !😉 "TDS"

    • @roni6215
      @roni6215 5 лет назад +3

      For as long as the GOP 's fascist regime allows comedians.

  • @miskatonicalumni5612
    @miskatonicalumni5612 5 лет назад +1359

    If someone would just tell Trump that Obama can hold his breath for 10 whole minutes Trump wouldn't be president for much longer.

  • @MapleRhubarb
    @MapleRhubarb 5 лет назад +180

    Clearly he's suffered from running the dishwasher ten times, or having to flush the toilets forever!

    • @Chunkboi
      @Chunkboi 5 лет назад +14

      Well, if Trump didn’t keep flushing his diapers down the toilet, he wouldn’t keep clogging it!

    • @jimyarbrough9935
      @jimyarbrough9935 5 лет назад +9

      We know hes lieing about flushing the toilet because hes full of $#@.

    • @Chunkboi
      @Chunkboi 5 лет назад +6

      Jim Yarbrough we know he’s full of himself.

    • @thechumpsbeendumped.7797
      @thechumpsbeendumped.7797 5 лет назад +7

      To be fair, with his diet maybe he does need to flush 10 times?

    • @mariag.8242
      @mariag.8242 5 лет назад +3

      and does anyone think he’s run a dishwasher in his life?

  • @Aristotelezz
    @Aristotelezz 5 лет назад +74

    Without the perfect phone call no one would've known about this mess.

    • @alexanderrussell7597
      @alexanderrussell7597 5 лет назад +2

      He got too emboldened and spoiled with the outcome of the mueller report thereby claiming that he’s the president and he can do anything!
      That’s a follow through during the campaign period when he said that he can shoot someone in the time square and not lose a vote!

  • @Kmaxbature
    @Kmaxbature 5 лет назад +103

    This is Stephen Colbert's finest work! Every single joke deserves an EMMY.

    • @kalindatchev994
      @kalindatchev994 5 лет назад +9

      True, there was some extremely high-quality stuff in there... and lots of it!

    • @rachaelsman2
      @rachaelsman2 5 лет назад

      You will hate yourself for saying that soon .ruclips.net/video/MRtEgdgj_XQ/видео.html

    • @rachaelsman2
      @rachaelsman2 5 лет назад

      @@kalindatchev994 if it's anything but high quality laughter your probably being lied to. ruclips.net/video/MRtEgdgj_XQ/видео.html

    • @vwa9832
      @vwa9832 5 лет назад

      yo, you straight gangsta yo! you spit rhymes?

    • @lisabradley35
      @lisabradley35 5 лет назад +2

      My favorite monologue this year.

  • @michelchartrand3719
    @michelchartrand3719 5 лет назад +116

    When Mitch read "Donald John Trump" that third time, I think I actually heard some sadness and choking up in his voice.

    • @marshwetland3808
      @marshwetland3808 5 лет назад +6

      @Pronto Spot0on, rather than ironic.

    • @judioregan4210
      @judioregan4210 5 лет назад +2

      Michel Chartrand - nah, that was either just his breakfast, or the crow he is now being forced to eat.

    • @andrewmontenegroe3296
      @andrewmontenegroe3296 5 лет назад +2

      I think we all heard...”how the hell I am going to cover this up?”

    • @daviddelaney2407
      @daviddelaney2407 5 лет назад +1

      as per Randy Rainbow, we've found it's actually Donald Jessica Trump.
      --Dave, the pink glasses are iconic

    • @evanpatterson7098
      @evanpatterson7098 Год назад +1

      Nope!! He was choking on the skull of a small child.😂😂

  • @depressionbeard9882
    @depressionbeard9882 5 лет назад +346

    “Trump immediately cited his favorite source: many.” 😂

    • @FrankieJamesNews
      @FrankieJamesNews 5 лет назад +17

      Don't forget his imaginary friend, "Jim". 🤣

    • @Vagajammer
      @Vagajammer 5 лет назад +10

      @@FrankieJamesNews ...or his token black friend

    • @FrankieJamesNews
      @FrankieJamesNews 5 лет назад +9

      @@Vagajammer You mean HIS African American.

    • @viksaggu9085
      @viksaggu9085 5 лет назад +3

      And Jared, from subway?

    • @kathleenhammett849
      @kathleenhammett849 5 лет назад +3

      Aye, Mr Many People, Mr They Say, Mr My Friend Jim.. All the voices in his head?

  • @patriceturnipseed9226
    @patriceturnipseed9226 5 лет назад +399

    "Two words not usually associated with President Trump. Knowledge and consent". Brilliant. 🤣🤣🤣

    • @abdelhakkhalil7684
      @abdelhakkhalil7684 5 лет назад +3

      Absolutely! Trump made the late night shows' hosts! Colbert is really here because of Trump.

    • @JB-xl2jc
      @JB-xl2jc 5 лет назад +30

      Abdelhak Khalil Colbert was successful long before Trump and will be long after him

    • @abdelhakkhalil7684
      @abdelhakkhalil7684 5 лет назад +10

      @@JB-xl2jc I agree, I should have clarified that. What I meant to say is Trump made Colbert more popular. In fact, just about 2 years ago, Colbert has become the number 1 host of the late night show.

    • @JB-xl2jc
      @JB-xl2jc 5 лет назад +10

      Abdelhak Khalil Ahhhh gotcha, that makes a lot more sense. I was a fan of Colbert since his Daily Show days and into the Report; but there’s no denying the current political idiocy has bumped his recognition and ratings!

    • @abdelhakkhalil7684
      @abdelhakkhalil7684 5 лет назад +7

      @@JB-xl2jc And rightly so. Colbert was always good, but now he and his team are geniuses and the irony is that Trump uncovered that.

  • @Matt-bg5wg
    @Matt-bg5wg 5 лет назад +255

    Sure sounds like they were planning to "take" Yovonovich out.

    • @MrRyan-wu4jx
      @MrRyan-wu4jx 5 лет назад +24

      Matt Coombes that’s the reason she was on the first plane out of there without being told why. The fbi knew the president’s goons were gonna assassinate her.

    • @irenegewinner8193
      @irenegewinner8193 5 лет назад +3

      Who hired Hyde? He's obviously a member of Murder, Inc.

    • @mariag.8242
      @mariag.8242 5 лет назад +13

      It’s scary stuff and sure needs investigating now - & since the FBI has completed its 4th investigation into Clinton (clearing her again) they have time to do something real

    • @angelabluebird609
      @angelabluebird609 5 лет назад +1

      Their being prosecuted and sentenced needs to set a clear and formidable example that trying to harm our ambassadors will bring long and painful regret.

    • @con9tessa
      @con9tessa 5 лет назад

      And not for drinks.

  • @Izandaia
    @Izandaia 5 лет назад +489

    I think that last line from Trump, "Ah to hell with it, I just have to suffer through it the way I have all my life" really reveals something about how he views the world and current events. I think he honestly believes, in his heart of hearts, that all this stuff will just blow over, that he's not gonna suffer any consequences for his behavior, just like he always hasn't. He thinks he just has to wait it out, to "suffer through it", and then everything will be fine.

    • @kruleworld
      @kruleworld 5 лет назад +58

      There won't be any consequences and it will just blow over...
      Do you really think, in your heart of hearts, that Republicans will look at the evidence and vote with their conscience?

    •  5 лет назад +20

      He's so accomplished at suffering.

    • @adamdreke
      @adamdreke 5 лет назад +33

      It's sad but probably true that he won't face many, if any consequences. We need to vote him out!

    • @B_Bodziak
      @B_Bodziak 5 лет назад +29

      Ahh, isn't he just such a victim.

    • @lexyswope
      @lexyswope 5 лет назад +20

      Like we've suffered his nastiness since the 2016 primary.

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 5 лет назад +283

    She should have signed it with a sharpie, really...

    • @joanbowden7634
      @joanbowden7634 5 лет назад +15

      😂😂😂😂😂

    • @FrankieJamesNews
      @FrankieJamesNews 5 лет назад +18

      That would have been epic!

    • @cleverusername9369
      @cleverusername9369 5 лет назад +13

      The "press secretary" Stephanie Grisham just tweeted about how outrageous it is that everyone who signed the articles of impeachment got a ceremonial pen, as is standard and traditional for big events. Trump's done the same. Furthermore, after the sharpiegate thing with the weather map during the hurricane, his website was selling customized markers for $15/pop.

    • @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494
      @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 5 лет назад +12

      She has too much self-respect for "the pen you can read from space" (or in Trump's case, "the scrawl you can identify with a drone headed for Iran")...

    • @b3z3jm3nny
      @b3z3jm3nny 5 лет назад +7

      Mason Schwalm it’s so she can give away multiple pens used to sign the impeachment papers, it’s a pretty common practice for bills multiple people would want a souvenir from

  • @ProctorsGamble
    @ProctorsGamble 5 лет назад +191

    Giuliani: What’s your favorite lie?
    Impotus: I don’t lie.
    Giuliani: Mine too!

  • @cindila2000
    @cindila2000 5 лет назад +99

    He called out the names as a threat to who would go down with him. Scare tactic 101

    • @JSkyGemini
      @JSkyGemini 5 лет назад +10

      He'll also mention their families. He has no shame and no limit.

    • @tripwire4727
      @tripwire4727 5 лет назад +6

      Lol, only limited intelligence. Never underestimate the depths of stupidity, though....

    • @michealbay1290
      @michealbay1290 5 лет назад

      You Muslim?

    • @cindila2000
      @cindila2000 5 лет назад +2

      Micheal Bay yes. You?

  • @myself047
    @myself047 5 лет назад +282

    I really want a journalist to ask him the names of the
    1. Many
    2. A lot of people
    3. People
    4. Some
    That he keeps bringing out to validate his lies.

    • @maraplantrees4543
      @maraplantrees4543 5 лет назад +4

      aShura everyone, everybody, IN HISTORY

    • @paulallen579
      @paulallen579 5 лет назад +6

      This. How does he get away with this? Just ask ”I don’t think you’re correct, can you name some of them?”
      And if he refuses, ask ”so we have to take your word on blind faith?”.

    • @simongiles9749
      @simongiles9749 5 лет назад +2

      @markmac Don't forget John Baron, that reliable source who sounds "nothing" like Trumo.

    • @Bevity
      @Bevity 5 лет назад +2

      There are too many to name, any one of them can tell you that!

    • @B_Bodziak
      @B_Bodziak 5 лет назад +1

      And what exactly are they always "saying"?

  • @ljosephdumas3113
    @ljosephdumas3113 5 лет назад +85

    "I just have to suffer through it..." Most pathetic 'human' being, EVER.

    • @linkeffect82
      @linkeffect82 5 лет назад +6

      Pretty much, though the ones that work willingly and lie so candidly for him are pretty close to that top spot.

  • @pallao3500
    @pallao3500 5 лет назад +43

    "Trumo" fits really well actually; It's an anagram of "Tumor".

  • @g.g.4010
    @g.g.4010 5 лет назад +15

    *Brilliant as ever.*
    _Thank you so much Stephen for keeping us sane in this crazy times._

  • @KingSulley
    @KingSulley 5 лет назад +88

    It's sad that were laughing at this. Not too long ago half the country would be out with pitch forks.

    • @vwa9832
      @vwa9832 5 лет назад +3

      yo, you straight gangsta yo!

    • @chrismaxwell2274
      @chrismaxwell2274 5 лет назад +2

      30%

    • @JSkyGemini
      @JSkyGemini 5 лет назад +1

      That sounds like a plan, actually!

    • @JudyTootCorn
      @JudyTootCorn 5 лет назад

      Now that would be a true "witch hunt".

    • @khazms
      @khazms 5 лет назад

      Yeah, well that's illegal and also no one wants mace or tear gas and baton/shield bashing their faces.

  • @VeganDefinition
    @VeganDefinition 5 лет назад +350

    This is how many times Stephen Colbert has roasted Trump
    👇🏾

  • @georgelayton6641
    @georgelayton6641 5 лет назад +1133

    Poor trump, he's had to live with himself his entire life.

    • @wizardtim8573
      @wizardtim8573 5 лет назад +60

      Considering how narcissistic he is, probably the best life he could've had o.O

    • @ChaoticAngelKitten
      @ChaoticAngelKitten 5 лет назад +27

      He loves himself more then he loves anything... even KFC... so I think he’s ok with that... if he could marry himself, he probably would... and then he probably wouldn’t ever get divorced again because he’s his own best match... >,> most other people can’t stand him in more then small doses.

    • @ChaoticAngelKitten
      @ChaoticAngelKitten 5 лет назад +13

      @Filhote de Atum ya you're probably right but he still loves himself more. Lol

    • @loinnirwhitby6689
      @loinnirwhitby6689 5 лет назад +11

      I really can't imagine anyone who deserves it more.

    • @tracer740
      @tracer740 5 лет назад +2

      @@cmdraftbrn - ... YIPES!

  • @Hi.Im.Chucky
    @Hi.Im.Chucky 5 лет назад +122

    Mitch sounded like he was about to cry .

    • @vivigesso3756
      @vivigesso3756 5 лет назад +1

      @Ghenghis Khan Turtles are physically unable to cry.

    • @Shylade
      @Shylade 5 лет назад

      Yup.. his career is done and he knows it. It’s a bad situation to be in for him. Damned if you do damned if you don’t so might as well play dumb

    • @dmarie923
      @dmarie923 5 лет назад

      @@vivigesso3756 underrated

  • @Annie-zd6rn
    @Annie-zd6rn 5 лет назад +168

    Parnas has spilled the beans on "everyone in the loop." Where have we heard that before? Oh that's right, it was Sondland that said it too. But Parnas mentioned that BARR was also the team!

    • @suebarrow5973
      @suebarrow5973 5 лет назад +1

      I think he will be easy for them to discount. Just think of the Kavanagh fiasco

    • @steve1978ger
      @steve1978ger 5 лет назад

      I'm not saying it's necessarily wrong, only that Parnas has shit credibility

    • @mrdfac
      @mrdfac 5 лет назад

      @@steve1978ger He wants to stay out of jail.

    • @riheg
      @riheg 5 лет назад +1

      As I understand it the Democrats rushed impeachment so Parnas’ testimony didn’t get included. A show for the media is all. Am I wrong?

    • @MyPhone-wq8xo
      @MyPhone-wq8xo 5 лет назад +1

      This sounds exactly like the Michael Cohen testimony....how many ppl gotta tell the truth

  • @sajadb_dev
    @sajadb_dev 5 лет назад +493

    I swear just leave trump with Gordon Ramsay in a room alone he'll confess to everything, I've been watching kitchen nightmares too much

    • @danielgehring7437
      @danielgehring7437 5 лет назад +85

      I'm firmly convinced if you just left Trump in a room with a tape recorder and a mirror you'd have a full confession in fifteen minutes.

    • @mariposa9506
      @mariposa9506 5 лет назад +3

      Do you need an intervention?

    • @mc1412007
      @mc1412007 5 лет назад +7

      @@danielgehring7437 u mean seconds

    • @rasmie8858
      @rasmie8858 5 лет назад +27

      Trump: My tax returns are good, perhaps the best in history of tax returns
      Ramsay: Your lies...are bland, dry, dreadful. Ghastly.

    • @zachschmidt
      @zachschmidt 5 лет назад +7

      Nino would get a confession out of him, and he'd have the pictures to prove it.

  • @MikeIdy6000
    @MikeIdy6000 5 лет назад +148

    Citing his favorite source: "Many"

    • @Chunkboi
      @Chunkboi 5 лет назад +7

      So he’s citing Legion, for he is many.

    • @queenannesrevenge1437
      @queenannesrevenge1437 5 лет назад +3

      @@Chunkboi Many demons crawling around inside him.

    • @Chunkboi
      @Chunkboi 5 лет назад +2

      Queen Anne's Revenge they’ve been trying to get out and find a better host.

    • @windbreaker57
      @windbreaker57 5 лет назад

      That's tremendous!

    • @WhiteFangofWar
      @WhiteFangofWar 5 лет назад +1

      @@queenannesrevenge1437 Covefe f'tagn.

  • @scottmorgan8333
    @scottmorgan8333 5 лет назад +281

    Trump doing a roll call is like he's checking for loyalty. Like he invited them all and he kept a list to see who showed up and who didn't. So awkward.

    • @Jillians1025
      @Jillians1025 5 лет назад +10

      Yep. That buffoon can't help himself.

    • @ellamone9998
      @ellamone9998 5 лет назад +14

      That's good, Trump will be ready for his roll calls a few times a day in jail. Nice practice in reverse hahaha

    • @hlcepeda
      @hlcepeda 5 лет назад

      Honestly

    • @stuartjamesgemmell
      @stuartjamesgemmell 5 лет назад +5

      This is so true. Checking for loyalty but also a threat like ‘we’re all going down if we don’t stick together’

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 5 лет назад +2

      Well, he expected loyalty from James Comey. How did that turn out?

  • @BrainDeadIcon
    @BrainDeadIcon 5 лет назад +356

    It’s a “witch hunt” huh?
    Well we’ve found a lot of witches so far

    • @thomashooper9148
      @thomashooper9148 5 лет назад +3

      Hahaha sure you have! You wouldn’t be talking out of your rear?

    • @Madeupfakerobot
      @Madeupfakerobot 5 лет назад +11

      @@thomashooper9148 i know these libtard fools!! Since when is EVIDENCE considered something the. Courts use

    • @niveknanorc7316
      @niveknanorc7316 5 лет назад +6

      @Dak Lamerbusch so he can enjoy his "many" friends,,er fiends,,,

    • @bandiit420
      @bandiit420 5 лет назад

      @Didymus Mac Flynn is an innocent man who is now withdrawing his guilty plea because he's innocent.

    • @purplepill1799
      @purplepill1799 5 лет назад +2

      Not even Holloween would have seen so many ghosts as the Republicans after elections this year! 💯

  • @verfuncht
    @verfuncht 5 лет назад +111

    How is a foreign official saying "I'll help you get re-elected if you get rid of someone who says bad things about me" not the most corrupt thing imaginable?

    • @elizabethroberts9117
      @elizabethroberts9117 5 лет назад +1

      One Woman Died Having Acid Thrown In Her Face. She Was With Team Yovanovitch! M. Yovanonvitch Left Ukraine remembering What Happened To Her. Now, (She) was being Threatened....., I'd Leave Too!!!!!!

    • @LSM_Lover
      @LSM_Lover 4 года назад

      It is

    • @evanpatterson7098
      @evanpatterson7098 Год назад

      It was only Tuesday. He was just getting warmed up.😂😂

  • @tonygunk1886
    @tonygunk1886 5 лет назад +148

    "Female fool"?
    Yes because one of the best foreign ambassadors in American history, including 2 awards for her outstanding work..
    Is a fool

    • @Anankin12
      @Anankin12 5 лет назад +7

      [female] bc I guess Ukrainian has gendered nouns

    • @nadyanathania3847
      @nadyanathania3847 5 лет назад +5

      they also called a military veteran with a purple heart a fake so

    • @Liliputian07
      @Liliputian07 5 лет назад +2

      DISPOSE OF THE WOMAN
      -- strange russian fox cartoon

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 5 лет назад +2

      Coming from the administration that put children in cages!

    • @stevenjordal8427
      @stevenjordal8427 5 лет назад

      Ohh. Mr. Gunk, Gunk out.

  • @stevepax2809
    @stevepax2809 5 лет назад +436

    so guilty---any senator who votes innocent is an accomplice.

    • @sharonmullins1957
      @sharonmullins1957 5 лет назад +52

      Worse than that at this point; traitors.

    • @stoodmuffinpersonal3144
      @stoodmuffinpersonal3144 5 лет назад +13

      Yup. Yeah. Yup.

    • @jbcoolestgamer9786
      @jbcoolestgamer9786 5 лет назад +3

      Trump 2020... sue me

    • @tonib.3016
      @tonib.3016 5 лет назад +37

      @DAVID GOERTZ you do realize that trump is allowed to submit exculpatory evidence right? Yet he hasn't produced even a single document,nor has he allowed a single witness like Pompeo,Bolton or Mulvaney to testify. Sure...let's hear from Hunter Biden tho,even tho that's just SO fucking stupid but whatever,I dont even GAF. If Dumpy had any evidence or witnesses he could produce to prove hes innocent,why hasn't he done that yet? Or do you always believe what pathological liars like Dump tell ya?

    • @brandoncrusen9160
      @brandoncrusen9160 5 лет назад +34

      @DAVID GOERTZ You do realize Trump admitted to impeachable conduct? This is not about second hand witnesses. It's pretty fucking clear.

  • @pascal9055
    @pascal9055 5 лет назад +79

    “Many” and “They” are equally his favorites.

    • @hawkeye5955
      @hawkeye5955 5 лет назад +3

      The "many" only exists in his head.

    • @k.nicoledavis8537
      @k.nicoledavis8537 5 лет назад +4

      But still loves them more than Eric!

    • @niveknanorc7316
      @niveknanorc7316 5 лет назад +2

      He is Legion,,,

    • @alexanderrussell7597
      @alexanderrussell7597 5 лет назад

      I’m wondering sometimes who’s talking, smeagol or gollum? Or the bloody lord of mordor!!

  • @rancisgamer
    @rancisgamer 5 лет назад +142

    It wasn't pen after pen... she uses different colors to appeal to the man child president. That's the only way he will read it...oooh colorful

    • @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494
      @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 5 лет назад +10

      Yes. It was actually all the primary colours from a box of Crayola (an added bonus is she gets in a free Queer Pride message - nothing like a little side-shade for Pence).

    • @dannythompson1948
      @dannythompson1948 5 лет назад +3

      @Susan Sullivan there's nothing homophobic about that guys comment.. Queer is not an offensive term. And if you've defending pence, then you are lost, ma'am..

    • @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494
      @dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 5 лет назад

      @Susan Sullivan really, Susan? That was your take from that post? Have fun in upside-down land, then (also, "homophobic" probably doesn't need the qualifier "rude", but as Little Ms Prissy here is struggling with simple English comprehension, let alone jokes, I can probably let that slide...).
      Also, Danny, I feel ya, but not a guy. But I don't really mind - and yeah, if a Pence-Defence is where that was going, then I'll just sashay on outta THIS thread. Girl's gotta have standards ;-)

  • @toadjiang7626
    @toadjiang7626 5 лет назад +1479

    Trump: "I can shoot somebody at the senate impeachment trial and still won't get convicted."
    Moscow Mitch: "Yes you can, boss. Have fun!"
    Lindsey Graham: "You need my gun to do that, boss?"
    Rudy Giuliani: "Leave the corpse for me, boss, I haven't drunk human blood for days."
    Stephen Miller: "Did someone just say corpse?" [sounds of drooling]

    • @mikenoble91
      @mikenoble91 5 лет назад +174

      Fox News: "Is shooting people even a crime, really?"

    • @fatlacesthedon
      @fatlacesthedon 5 лет назад +112

      Faux news: "I think it's disgusting that the democrats are more mad about the cannibalized person when the presidents shoulder is really hurting, that .38 had an awful lotta kickback, his ears just stopped ringing, I mean do the democrats even care about that!? Disgusting!"

    • @brickdebrick2167
      @brickdebrick2167 5 лет назад +5

      That's enough!! Trump has done nothing wrong and you know it. He just sacrificed his lifestyle to save America and you just criticize him for no reason. Thanks to Trump, the American dream is back. He's a real hero. I thank God every day that he is our President and you should do the same.

    • @dragon8me2
      @dragon8me2 5 лет назад +13

      A round for this man... this comment is as high as height goes. Now.. don't leave out any more monsters... we have perfect actors to star in the monster flicks. A merry monster flick time.

    • @cleverusername9369
      @cleverusername9369 5 лет назад +28

      Stephanie Grisham: appears on Fox, tweets a picture of the 2nd Amendment, and continues never giving a press briefing.

  • @kylestubbs8867
    @kylestubbs8867 5 лет назад +150

    I think Colbert’s staff _really_ enjoys mashing Mitch McConnel’s face with mythological creatures.

    • @sinistar99
      @sinistar99 5 лет назад +24

      Mitchological creatures...

    • @alexanderrussell7597
      @alexanderrussell7597 5 лет назад +6

      Their great inspiration is Moscow Mitch features himself 😀😀

    • @tuckerbowen4626
      @tuckerbowen4626 4 года назад

      Technically Cthulhu is a _literary_ creature...

  • @dafttool
    @dafttool 5 лет назад +307

    If Trump is tired of suffering, he can always resign 🤔

    • @jrtortellini2540
      @jrtortellini2540 5 лет назад

      God no. He has helped us way to much. Lower taxes has really helped my family survive and plus keeping my job with a huge raise I just got.. thank God Hilary didn't get in and tax us another 20 percent.. when you grow up and work one day you will understand

    • @yourfavoritegames4971
      @yourfavoritegames4971 5 лет назад +5

      At least Hillary knew how to read a teleprompter and go to a rally without screaming lightbulbs that make him look orange when even an Oompa Loompa would so it looks like a blind man gave him a spray tan

    • @jrtortellini2540
      @jrtortellini2540 5 лет назад +1

      @@yourfavoritegames4971 OMG.. that's why you hate him ? You will love Sharia law.. and when Democrats get back in free speech will be gone and posting bad comments about political persons can give you a massive life penalty in all other countries

    • @hungfao
      @hungfao 5 лет назад +16

      @@jrtortellini2540 I, too, got a huge raise, but Trump remains an imbecile. I've been around since Eisenhower. Trump is the worst president in my lifetime. So when you say things like 'He has helped us way too much', I have no idea what you mean by 'us'. You are the spokesperson for no one. So, you must be speaking about yourself in which case it isn't surprising that you would think, like Trump, that the nation and the world revolves around you and your situation. More people haven't benefited one iota than have. The truth is that he is running his campaign as 'promises made, promises kept' - and yet he virtually hasn't kept any of the promise he made as he campaigned. You might respond by asking me to cite the facts and I will be happy to. The list is long, factual, and could make you cry. Or you, yes, you, can always bask in the knowledge that you, yes, you somehow benefited from something Trump did so much that you have to keep reminding everyone just how lucky we all are that you, yes, you, are doing well.

    • @jrtortellini2540
      @jrtortellini2540 5 лет назад

      @@hungfao I'm assuming your an Obama fan with sweat blood and tears.. what the hell did he do for this country in 8 years ? What ?

  • @solaris-7115
    @solaris-7115 5 лет назад +10

    Sending appreciation from New Zealand 🇳🇿!!

    • @patlynch6517
      @patlynch6517 5 лет назад

      Thanks!
      I would love to visit New Zealand
      Every day is a fresh nightmare here

  • @dannyhughes6306
    @dannyhughes6306 5 лет назад +27

    The notes were written on Ritz Carlton Vienna note paper. Wasn't Nunes in Vienna last year...???

  • @hannahrachel5099
    @hannahrachel5099 5 лет назад +28

    “Ava-cadaver ta-dead” I lost it 😂 I’m laughing so much right now 😂

  • @reenakblas2307
    @reenakblas2307 5 лет назад +18

    Am off to DC. I have to watch the trial, LIVE. I have grandkids to tell the story. I have to be able to tell them I was there.🤣😂

  • @victorhawkins3461
    @victorhawkins3461 5 лет назад +11

    Stephen -- thank you and your entire crew for giving me back my sanity once a day, if only for 5 days a week!

  • @leftyme4568
    @leftyme4568 5 лет назад +43

    "It`s all in the family" made my day , but don`t make fun of Parnas, because he might save your country!!!

    • @roni6215
      @roni6215 5 лет назад +3

      If Lev doesn't get "Epsteined " .

  • @UncleEbenezer77
    @UncleEbenezer77 5 лет назад +209

    "America's mayor" to Trumplethinskin's crony...Has there ever been such a yuge fall from grace as Giuliani's? #bigly

    • @truthalonetriumphs6572
      @truthalonetriumphs6572 5 лет назад +3

      It's worse than that ... more looney than Trump 🤣

    • @mitchjones9342
      @mitchjones9342 5 лет назад +5

      Mike Barbas spot on brudda!! America’s mayor in America’s toilet!

    • @AnnieWarbux
      @AnnieWarbux 5 лет назад +3

      I think that Rudy is begging to be on Trumps counsel to claim attorney client priveleges that he would not otherwise have!!

    • @silentbob7984
      @silentbob7984 5 лет назад +4

      @ Mike Barbas Trumplethinskin, I love this! Trumplethinskin and his Trumpalumpas!

    • @RmcBlueSky
      @RmcBlueSky 5 лет назад +1

      My NY friends said that he was not really popular pre 9/11. Everything is a façade. He was just as racist as Trump. The thing is Yorkers survives in BS. Got a friend that worked in car rental company in LV, said that the worst customers are from NYC. The reason is , according to my NY friends, NYC is so populationaly condensed that it push you to be competitive. That's y they believe that if you can make it in NYC you can make it anywhere.

  • @mamawray
    @mamawray 5 лет назад +31

    "It's all in the family". I died.

  • @johncampbell335
    @johncampbell335 5 лет назад +28

    One of Stephen's finest monologues.

  • @TheReal008Zulu
    @TheReal008Zulu 5 лет назад +36

    It almost sounded like the Turtle was going to start crying. I guess the gravity of the situation had caught up with him, and he realised he was backing a lame horse.

  • @meljamz
    @meljamz 5 лет назад +32

    I was soooo waiting on Stephen to say "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego". NAILED IT!!!

    • @sharonmullins1957
      @sharonmullins1957 5 лет назад +5

      I was waiting for Marco?....................Rubio.

    • @meljamz
      @meljamz 5 лет назад

      @@sharonmullins1957 that is fuuunnnnyyy😆😆

  • @estebanhombredeguerra6503
    @estebanhombredeguerra6503 5 лет назад +54

    Citing his favorite source: "many"
    Legendary!

    • @joed8694
      @joed8694 5 лет назад

      Yes, "many" refers to the FOX news team.

  • @AloraCanRead
    @AloraCanRead 5 лет назад +26

    The jokes in this episode were so fuking on point lmao!

  • @jeffcolorado
    @jeffcolorado 5 лет назад +71

    trump calling out names is a subtle way of threatening, "If I go down, you go down with me." Interesting there were no women mentioned in his litany.

  • @jilldaubresse5873
    @jilldaubresse5873 5 лет назад +16

    I just fell out of my chair laughing, almost. Great show, Stephen.

  • @magicsantos2681
    @magicsantos2681 5 лет назад +18

    One word for this administration ... jail! 👌👍😉

  • @raymondkymsuttle
    @raymondkymsuttle 5 лет назад +7

    Truly the best Colbert clip ever. The writers were on fire when they wrote this!

  • @kenna163
    @kenna163 5 лет назад +34

    Even his imaginary friends don't answer him. SAD.

  • @openmind763
    @openmind763 5 лет назад +22

    Once impeached, always impeached and forever impeached.

  • @josealbertoriveradonan2761
    @josealbertoriveradonan2761 5 лет назад +18

    Stephen deserves an EMMY for everytime he has delivered such good jokes just as the Mc’ Cthulu monster one. 😂

    • @Palidor19
      @Palidor19 Год назад

      One of the best skits I’ve seen, performed and executed flawlessly

  • @smartmoufx6800
    @smartmoufx6800 5 лет назад +21

    "The trial is on like JohnSON, NixON, and ClinTON!" 😂🤣😂

  • @joshualagrimas9555
    @joshualagrimas9555 5 лет назад +85

    this is LITERALLY the most historical event in the history of the United States of America. #TrumpForPrison2020

    • @basicpigeonbee
      @basicpigeonbee 5 лет назад +8

      It's not even in top ten, but it is important.

    • @JoeCAlvarado
      @JoeCAlvarado 5 лет назад +2

      Agree

    • @OTPpride
      @OTPpride 5 лет назад +1

      Only because impeachment will lose meaning to partisanship

    • @germanpereira9544
      @germanpereira9544 5 лет назад

      Not really but i know what you mean.

    • @110100111000
      @110100111000 5 лет назад +1

      If, even after all the evidence has been brought into public light of day. The Republican party still insists upon hopping along the Drumhead of partisan exoneration. Then least we could do is to call the lot of em Joeys.

  • @TheSuzberry
    @TheSuzberry 5 лет назад +279

    Trump has a second source: Some.

    • @Games_and_Music
      @Games_and_Music 5 лет назад +18

      He has People, Some and Many.
      Also his senses work intermittently from each other, sometimes he sees, sometimes he hears, he even reads sometimes.

    • @merylbonderow5993
      @merylbonderow5993 5 лет назад +8

      Have you heard about “A YUGE Number?” Them, too.

    • @fortepiano4491
      @fortepiano4491 5 лет назад +2

      Body once told me

    • @sdfkjgh
      @sdfkjgh 5 лет назад

      Forte Piano: www.neilcic.com/mouthsounds/ www.neilcic.com/mouthsilence/ www.neilcic.com/mouthmoods/

    • @tomaf
      @tomaf 5 лет назад +2

      Not to mention "some very smart people." ;-P

  • @ryanencher3669
    @ryanencher3669 5 лет назад +71

    “citing his favorite source: Many”

    • @freema9246
      @freema9246 5 лет назад +6

      yes. shorthand or "many idiots"

    • @lesleyleith4440
      @lesleyleith4440 5 лет назад +4

      Ryan Encher Or perhaps his favourite Sauce, Special Sauce, from McDonalds. It’s even named after him.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @DrownedInExile
      @DrownedInExile 5 лет назад +2

      Wasn't that the antagonist from the horror sci-fi game System Shock 2?

  • @Gabryal77
    @Gabryal77 5 лет назад +27

    Ok I lost it at "it's all in the family"

  • @mixmastrkno1337
    @mixmastrkno1337 5 лет назад +91

    Haha.. Trump sounds like he's trying to reboot Romper Room.."I see David, and Johnny, and Billy, and Rudy..."

    • @kathyfranklund3787
      @kathyfranklund3787 5 лет назад +2

      MixMastrKno1 Only a true Minnesotan wouldn’t understand romper room!

    • @jrtortellini2540
      @jrtortellini2540 5 лет назад +1

      I can't wait till Democrats get back in and rid your filthy free speech.. you should be delt

    • @evanpatterson7098
      @evanpatterson7098 Год назад

      Except a retarded criminal version. 😂😂

  • @peterpluim7912
    @peterpluim7912 5 лет назад +43

    I guess we will see if individual senators have some kind of spine left.

    • @connyleicht6567
      @connyleicht6567 5 лет назад +3

      Doubt it, but would be really impressed, if there were any...

    • @rayprice2015
      @rayprice2015 5 лет назад

      Don't count on it.

    • @ericno4u
      @ericno4u 5 лет назад

      Vegas wouldn't touch those numbers

    • @allnargles
      @allnargles 5 лет назад

      Putin has a damaging file on everyone and they know it.

  • @protiliusproductions
    @protiliusproductions 5 лет назад +26

    “Let’s obey laws.” LOL!!!

  • @madbug1965
    @madbug1965 5 лет назад +459

    One of those pens is going to the Trump presidential library.

    • @lesleyleith4440
      @lesleyleith4440 5 лет назад +47

      madbug1965 Along with the roll of toilet paper that stuck to his shoe. Can you imagine what a tRump Presidential Library would contain........ lots of back copies of Hustler and other porno classics. Spankers Weekly comes to mind.👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼💕💕💕💕😂😂😂😂Love from Canada🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦

    • @shrek1140
      @shrek1140 5 лет назад +19

      He doesn’t know how to read

    • @scottrowe533
      @scottrowe533 5 лет назад +27

      The Trump Presidential Library is going to be a small rolling book cart, stacked with comic books, in the Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary inmates' library.

    • @thechumpsbeendumped.7797
      @thechumpsbeendumped.7797 5 лет назад +15

      Lesley Leith don’t forget the rolled up copy of Forbes magazine and the video with those hookers in Moscow?

    • @tylerdurden4392
      @tylerdurden4392 5 лет назад +2

      @@shrek1140 Nope, just wrote "The Art of the Deal", a best-seller that you couldn't comprehend if you multiplied your IQ by ten.

  • @armystitch4
    @armystitch4 5 лет назад +129

    Momma likes too. Nearly everyone in my family are conservative Republicans. Not since I was 12 & my grandma knocked over a whole shelf of glass knickknacks 5 secs after lecturing us to keep our hands in our pockets, have I felt such glee.

    • @Bevity
      @Bevity 5 лет назад +9

      armystitch I felt that! Delicious!

    • @bravofanone9321
      @bravofanone9321 5 лет назад +6

      😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @redlady222
      @redlady222 5 лет назад +4

      Personally, I feel like jumping around in glee like the ‘Berries and Cream’ weirdo in the old Starburst commercials.

    • @als9006
      @als9006 5 лет назад +3

      That’s a crackin’ good story!

    • @FlorisGerber
      @FlorisGerber 5 лет назад +4

      @@donantonio5646 you call trump "granny"?

  • @SilverLaBelle
    @SilverLaBelle 5 лет назад +20

    I feel like Colbert has DMed a lot of Dungeons and Dragons with that explanation. I was ready to get my dice and character sheet ready.

  • @1000YearBeard
    @1000YearBeard 5 лет назад +28

    This was one of the best Late Shows with Stephen Cthulhurt.

    • @tarrynlea
      @tarrynlea 5 лет назад

      Truly. Mind-blowing.

  • @GingerGingie
    @GingerGingie 5 лет назад +18

    "It's all in the family"

  • @mauro.6666
    @mauro.6666 5 лет назад +22

    Locking him up, locking him up, locking him up.

  • @SNUPE_FOXX92
    @SNUPE_FOXX92 5 лет назад +16

    This shit is hilarious.... dude legit left a paper trail 😂

  • @duquerendon3919
    @duquerendon3919 5 лет назад +18

    Brings a smile to my face watching Nancy Pelosi take such great pleasure in signing the articles of impeachment..
    Dear Mrs. Pelosi any chance of me getting one of those pens!
    Lmao!
    Inpeachadent Drumf
    2020
    : )

  • @felichia808
    @felichia808 5 лет назад +4

    I really needed this to laugh today. Love you Stephen Colbert Show 💖

  • @MizuMark
    @MizuMark 5 лет назад +17

    Quit giving me hope like hes actually going to he removed from office

  • @KitKatToeBeans
    @KitKatToeBeans 5 лет назад +29

    tRump: “Many (of the voices in my head) believe..”

  • @marymarsella9050
    @marymarsella9050 5 лет назад +6

    Thank God for this monologue, Stephen, Trevor, Seth, Jimmie K, as we suffer through this admin.

  • @dingobat2389
    @dingobat2389 5 лет назад +2

    This episode is pure magic. Thank you The Late Show. You keep us sane.

  • @cheknfaks
    @cheknfaks 5 лет назад +18

    "He kept going..naming nobody in the room."

  • @DesertEagleV
    @DesertEagleV 5 лет назад +18

    What kind trial is it when you know the verdict before it begins?

  • @sydneymarshall3204
    @sydneymarshall3204 5 лет назад +16

    5:34 he had to write the crime down. He couldn’t remember which crime he had gone there to commit.

  • @mathdemigod8162
    @mathdemigod8162 5 лет назад +29

    04:47 How did he not say "middle-aged Charlie Brown?" The hair is perfect XD

    • @merbst
      @merbst 5 лет назад

      They should hire you as a consultant! 😆

  • @jessi5872
    @jessi5872 5 лет назад +150

    What has he suffered through all his life?
    Answer: Bone Spurs.

    • @gameglitch3686
      @gameglitch3686 5 лет назад +6

      Answer: Moronic thinking

    • @lindabisignsni1397
      @lindabisignsni1397 5 лет назад +5

      Not a damn thing. Daddy took care of him.

    • @mimigiggles4199
      @mimigiggles4199 5 лет назад +10

      Constipation of the brain, diarrhea of the mouth

    • @DoveAlexa
      @DoveAlexa 5 лет назад +7

      I'm surprised he hasn't made up an ultra rare condition that only he has because he is so special

    • @mimigiggles4199
      @mimigiggles4199 5 лет назад +2

      @Mike Keller his golden toilets are s***y.

  • @kris.i1249
    @kris.i1249 5 лет назад +31

    "Where's Jared - where's David - where's Mike ... Where am I??"

  • @SCBJQ
    @SCBJQ 5 лет назад +105

    When Trump keeps rambling on with his usual self-pitying whining , they should just drown him out with music, like they do at award shows.

  • @AsmodeusMictian
    @AsmodeusMictian 5 лет назад +51

    "Knowledge and consent..."
    Hello, 911? I'd like to report a murder.....

    • @nehpets216
      @nehpets216 5 лет назад

      You might want the Fire Department...

  • @831mrscardoso
    @831mrscardoso 5 лет назад +2

    Bravo Stephen Colbert! Been waiting for this genius monologue since the Lev Parnas evidence drop and Maddow interview. That's just crazy how they were actually plotting a hit on Ambassador Marie from the inside.

  • @frankrwalsh
    @frankrwalsh 5 лет назад +131

    Rudy looks like he looked into the Ark.

    • @JT-xj1pg
      @JT-xj1pg 5 лет назад +1

      So do you lol

    • @ninjabluefyre3815
      @ninjabluefyre3815 5 лет назад +5

      No that's Mitch McConnell, it was one of his alter egos.

    • @kaivickers166
      @kaivickers166 5 лет назад +3

      Frank Walsh - That makes me want to watch Indiana Jones again.

    • @kaivickers166
      @kaivickers166 5 лет назад +4

      J T - I can’t tell if you’re defending Giuliani or are just being a dick.

    • @MrMome1612
      @MrMome1612 5 лет назад +2

      @@JT-xj1pgBe Nice!

  • @tmitz73
    @tmitz73 5 лет назад +29

    Stephen Colbert - Better coverage than CNN!!!

  • @gogotrololo
    @gogotrololo 5 лет назад +26

    Moscow Mitch sounds like he's about to cry as he reads "The articles of impeachment against donald john trump"

    • @MareShoop
      @MareShoop 5 лет назад +2

      GnarlyKicks it’s just his neck wattle vibrating and choking him up 🥰

    • @gogotrololo
      @gogotrololo 5 лет назад +1

      @@MareShoop eww, that guy is so gross LOL

  • @kaivickers166
    @kaivickers166 5 лет назад +89

    “The Articles of Impeachment for Donald John Trump...” So, was it good for you too?

    • @chrissiek8706
      @chrissiek8706 5 лет назад +1

      You finished too early

    • @janellevans878
      @janellevans878 5 лет назад

      @Mike Keller Let's save it for the verdict or outcome.

    • @kaivickers166
      @kaivickers166 5 лет назад

      Janell Evans - Everyone who isn’t in complete denial knows the outcome. That’s why we have to celebrate the little things.

    • @janellevans878
      @janellevans878 5 лет назад

      Sorry, I'm not taking my eyes off the prize.

    • @kaivickers166
      @kaivickers166 5 лет назад

      Janell Evans - Then you’ll have a front row seat to the tragedy.

  • @Ham_Strokers_Ejacula
    @Ham_Strokers_Ejacula 5 лет назад +24

    Moscow Mitch sounds like he choking up on them words 😂😂😂

    • @lebredamcelroy832
      @lebredamcelroy832 5 лет назад

      Where the PPP tape measure 🐸👹🐀

    • @Ham_Strokers_Ejacula
      @Ham_Strokers_Ejacula 5 лет назад

      @@redwolfcanisrufus ya he did, could barely get them out near the end 😂😂

    • @Ham_Strokers_Ejacula
      @Ham_Strokers_Ejacula 5 лет назад

      @@lebredamcelroy832 I see your still on the pipe...its ok, when sanders wins 2020 you can get that looked at with your free healthcare 💩🤡🤯🤯

  • @tzisorey
    @tzisorey 5 лет назад +7

    "I could use some good lawyers"
    While that's true, I think being either a good person, or good at lawyering, would prevent a "good lawyer" from taking that job. That's why you're stuck with Rudy.

  • @lucylincoln3285
    @lucylincoln3285 5 лет назад +10

    "Ya don't write the crime down, ya DUMMY!" 🤣🤣🤣

  • @elainedaprano9130
    @elainedaprano9130 5 лет назад +26

    Parnas' said Hyde was "never not drunk". (apparently accounting for his stooopid texts)

  • @iadorenewyork1
    @iadorenewyork1 5 лет назад

    This is one of the best monologues! Zany at times, and very serious at others. Well researched, and well done?

  • @hjpngmw
    @hjpngmw 5 лет назад +10

    I do declare that's the first time I've EVER seen a man with "The Vapours"! Well done, Stephen.

  • @garrettstitt5489
    @garrettstitt5489 5 лет назад +40

    Yep...he lost it. Trump is now “Miss Mary Anne - Romper Room”
    25TH!... ITS NOT TOO LATE! (Actually, it’s the perfect time)

    • @willgetbettereventually124
      @willgetbettereventually124 5 лет назад +5

      Noooooo. He’d get away with everything. I want him impeached AND imprisoned!

    • @garrettstitt5489
      @garrettstitt5489 5 лет назад

      sheila taylor Sheeeeet, like he’s not getting away with everything now?

  • @theheartofablackbird2109
    @theheartofablackbird2109 5 лет назад +42

    I thought the J stood for "Jackass"?

  • @Moonwalker4ever87
    @Moonwalker4ever87 5 лет назад +14

    Stephen Colbert is a maniac 😂 gotta love him