A piece of advice I was given was: observe your SO’s pockets, their anger, and their drink. How are they with money, how do they deal with anger, and how are they with their habits.
Exactly Rabbi that’s what happened to me in my marriage of 19 years it was all about him he was totally self absorbed. I did not exist physically or emotionally with no communication whatsoever. I was so run down doing everything that I came down with head colds.I was completely neglected and exhausted. In our culture in those days divorce was taboo it didn’t even cross my mind. Then God stepped in and took him! God sent him away never to return. He left with his girlfriend. I started to come alive but still very stressed from the emotional abuse. I got stronger more beautiful and worked very hard till now. I raised the children and remained single, strong, happy and content. God saved me from that heartless marriage. I’ve never been so happy. Not talking to a person is so hurtful it’s neglect it’s lowering a person to their lowest as he did to me. God healed me I thank God for restoring me and being by me all along 🙏
Yes 💯. Giving to your marital partner should bring you joy inherently and this generosity should inherently bring gratitude for the other. It’s a reciprocal flow allowing for each to be the role they are in the marriage as a husband or wife creating even more love
My late husband had this down so beautifully. He taught me through his heart. I had been slaughtered in previous relationships. This manly man took the time to help me trust again. He gave to me unconditionally. Thank you for this truth.
Powerful... True words of wisdom... And Very Rare... Which is one of the many reasons most marriages don't last... And the marriages that last for an extended period... Both of them are miserable and hate each other...
Yea that part. I find it kind of odd how much more effort it is to make money and the wife spends it so easily unconsionsly and especially in a divorce. but its almost as if us Men as breadwinners have to get used to slaving away for the wife/kid. Thats what scares me about marriage Its a big risk financially even if you are generous
For those of the faith, marriage should be where you both take a servant's heart and put God first. I don't think it is healthy to make the relationship about the other person, but you both as a team making it about God.
I really admire a lot what you say and I really needed this to hear something if something that makes sense what you're trying to help people with I appreciate all of your help thank you so much
I was very generous and loving with the two men who ended up cheating on me. I made it all about them in the relationships. All it did was bring me heartbreak☹️.
Most men are just toddlers in a grown ups body! They look at the partner as a way to have their needs met: clean house, clean clothes, food, and sex! And somehow they still think they are great man if they go out and cheat…so, it is not your fault! And I am not sure how generations after generation men are still taught that is ok for them to cheat! Mothers should do better in educating them…when raising them!
What if you put the other person first and they don’t return the same treatment? Give them the world and they don’t appreciate it? *SEES MARRIAGE COUNSELING IN THE FUTURE*
I don't have any idea what I could do for a husband🤷🏾! Maybe that's why I am still single right now? 🤦🏾🤣🤣 I have no idea AND I am quite tired of trying to figure it out! I am going to give my brain a much needed rest!
I can put myself aside and watch other people make other people's lives better. I would rather make my connection with God last a lifetime. Not to bend the word of God, but God is coming back for His bride without spot or wrinkle. I don't have what it takes for an earthly marriage.
Yessss!! We need more advices and guidance from wise man of God about marriages. -Marriages barely make it these days. Peole are struggling to satay together!!
This is very missleading but yet in his case true, if your part of a religigious identity, your position & role is set in that so the woman already has to honnor & accept her role already, But, it wouldnt be all about the other person if she was outside of that, his role is set, So is hers !, its written in his book! & having children his & heirs, ( nothing wrong in that), But its not as all so humbley self sacraficing as it can be mistakenly taken as purly on words alone ! in a role set marrage like that, your getting A Lot !!
do i give up my time for the constant attention i have to give someone so they feel loved and better their life with support if i might not get it in return...love is action
Spoken from a man I find this ironic he is speaking to the ladies better believe it don’t lose yourself thinking about the other person don’t be selfless or selfish that is my advice
I have watched several videos by the Rabbi. The way people are in the world today, I just don' t think it' s possible to find anyone who actually thinks that's the way relationships and marriage should be. I speak from my own experience and the people I have encountered in the last 53 years. Men want women for money or lust.
This man speaks absolute truth. It can be about me and all about me but that is called staying SINGLE🎉
For some of us even when we are single Is not about us. Never about us.
Only God does that and he puts things in perfect balance
Dont look for the right partner, be the right partner
Yeah cause that way of thinking is going to change the wrong person 🤣🤣🤣🤣
💯
It was never about me for me. Always my partner, and he was a narcissist. Imagine how life unfolded then.
I think a balance has to be achieved.but with a narc nothing can be advised except get out fast.❤️
Love is not selfish. I wish more people would see it this way
A piece of advice I was given was: observe your SO’s pockets, their anger, and their drink.
How are they with money, how do they deal with anger, and how are they with their habits.
Exactly Rabbi that’s what happened to me in my marriage of 19 years it was all about him he was totally self absorbed. I did not exist physically or emotionally with no communication whatsoever. I was so run down doing everything that I came down with head colds.I was completely neglected and exhausted. In our culture in those days divorce was taboo it didn’t even cross my mind. Then God stepped in and took him! God sent him away never to return. He left with his girlfriend. I started to come alive but still very stressed from the emotional abuse. I got stronger more beautiful and worked very hard till now. I raised the children and remained single, strong, happy and content. God saved me from that heartless marriage. I’ve never been so happy. Not talking to a person is so hurtful it’s neglect it’s lowering a person to their lowest as he did to me. God healed me I thank God for restoring me and being by me all along 🙏
Yes 💯. Giving to your marital partner should bring you joy inherently and this generosity should inherently bring gratitude for the other. It’s a reciprocal flow allowing for each to be the role they are in the marriage as a husband or wife creating even more love
more & more of this wisdom…..we need it ….as our world is becoming chaotic😢
You ain't lying.. smh
My late husband had this down so beautifully. He taught me through his heart. I had been slaughtered in previous relationships. This manly man took the time to help me trust again. He gave to me unconditionally. Thank you for this truth.
I love your love story 🥹🥹🥹
Hello. I had a good husband too, but he died 5 years ago.
Did you have this as well?
Thank you sir you've been a major blessing
Powerful... True words of wisdom... And Very Rare... Which is one of the many reasons most marriages don't last... And the marriages that last for an extended period... Both of them are miserable and hate each other...
True you can’t change someone and it is about sharing time money space and a set of shared values
Very enjoyable message❤
Yea that part. I find it kind of odd how much more effort it is to make money and the wife spends it so easily unconsionsly and especially in a divorce. but its almost as if us Men as breadwinners have to get used to slaving away for the wife/kid. Thats what scares me about marriage Its a big risk financially even if you are generous
He is absolutely correct it’s BOTH in a relationship 🫶🏻💯
Sucks when you're always available.. but it doesn't get reciprocated.
So much Windom and Insight. Thank you Rabbi
He is such a wise man!
I would love to have a grandfather like him!❤
He has a very gentle, but at the same time strong way to discuss relationships!🙏
This is spot on. ❤
The wisdom of Solomon 🔥
This one really hit home.
Good message! Marriage with purpose it's not about me and serve the other person for sure
no wonder marriage is a wreck too much selfishness
That's correct. We have been living in the every individual for themselves world a long, long time.
Absolutely truth❤
marriage is between 2 people Shareing a life ❤ learning, careing, supporting Each Other, as soon as me,myself,mine gets in, it is failing
It's about both people in a relationship, this is only good advice if both people have that attitude.
For those of the faith, marriage should be where you both take a servant's heart and put God first. I don't think it is healthy to make the relationship about the other person, but you both as a team making it about God.
I really admire a lot what you say and I really needed this to hear something if something that makes sense what you're trying to help people with I appreciate all of your help thank you so much
My biggest mistake was doing all these things and still ended up with nothing life is crazy
It can’t work when only one person I the marriage feels like this One person feeling this way will never make a marriage work
This definately does not work with a narcisistic person.
Love is about giving - not getting.
Rabbi. No woman ever even kissed a rabbi
True that!
I was very generous and loving with the two men who ended up cheating on me. I made it all about them in the relationships. All it did was bring me heartbreak☹️.
Most men are just toddlers in a grown ups body! They look at the partner as a way to have their needs met: clean house, clean clothes, food, and sex! And somehow they still think they are great man if they go out and cheat…so, it is not your fault! And I am not sure how generations after generation men are still taught that is ok for them to cheat! Mothers should do better in educating them…when raising them!
It has to be about us because now you have two people to be that for each other ❤❤
This is a deep strong truth to finding happiness in life!
True wisdom ❤
So wise
AmenAmen Amen AmenAmen Amen True God bless you 💯 🙏 😊 ☺️ 😀 ❤️ 💯 🙏
This is soo true. Love must be unconditional 👍❤
What about she is imaginary person.... I'm
T.i
Targeted individual
I believe in this too, what if she doesn't reciprocate?
Love the truth and humility in this
Its always about the other persons best life
What if you put the other person first and they don’t return the same treatment? Give them the world and they don’t appreciate it?
*SEES MARRIAGE COUNSELING IN THE FUTURE*
Very wise words! 👍👍
I don't have any idea what I could do for a husband🤷🏾! Maybe that's why I am still single right now? 🤦🏾🤣🤣 I have no idea AND I am quite tired of trying to figure it out! I am going to give my brain a much needed rest!
Thanks Rabbi
Amen 🙏 and that’s exactly how it suppose to be 😊
Husbands, love your wives and vice versa. I don't want a wife tho, but Paul is 100% correct.
Whether you are Jewish, Muslim, Christian, or other, this philosophy and state of mind, is exactly what will work until death do you part.
I can put myself aside and watch other people make other people's lives better. I would rather make my connection with God last a lifetime. Not to bend the word of God, but God is coming back for His bride without spot or wrinkle. I don't have what it takes for an earthly marriage.
Yessss!! We need more advices and guidance from wise man of God about marriages.
-Marriages barely make it these days. Peole are struggling to satay together!!
I've never agreed with this Rabbi more than now. Wonderfully put, and the absolute truth.
Disagree, it should be synergistic where 1 +1 = 17 you are not there to simply make the other person's life better.
People get divorced, just deal with it like an adult.
👩🎨
This is very missleading but yet in his case true, if your part of a religigious identity, your position & role is set in that so the woman already has to honnor & accept her role already, But, it wouldnt be all about the other person if she was outside of that, his role is set, So is hers !, its written in his book! & having children his & heirs, ( nothing wrong in that), But its not as all so humbley self sacraficing as it can be mistakenly taken as purly on words alone ! in a role set marrage like that, your getting A Lot !!
Sadly that's not true there's no way to keep someone who don't want to kelp. Women file for 80% of the divorces they leave.
I agree, but it's 2 sided. Both have to function in higher consciousness, otherwise resentment arises.
He's right! EXACTLY what I did!
do i give up my time for the constant attention i have to give someone so they feel loved and better their life with support if i might not get it in return...love is action
Very true!
In a good relationship there is no I....only WE. There is no mine or your but our. There are two to be one. This can only be achieved by true love
you reminded me of a girl who was taking 110% from me and giving back her 30%.
Also most importantly the other person also needs to have the same mindset as yours! Otherwise your love and your generosity will be taken for granted
Wow! Wicked truth!
Spoken from a man I find this ironic he is speaking to the ladies better believe it don’t lose yourself thinking about the other person don’t be selfless or selfish that is my advice
But what about all the "certified life couches" who say you must take care of number 1 to maintain your happy happy?
Does it feel forced or wouldn't you have it any other way? That is the question you should ask yourself 😉
That's fine, as long as the other person is thinking and acting the same way.
Like parents when they have kids. Still we need boundaries
And it has to be reciprocated or its just one person using/taking advantage of the other
What happens when the other person don't live by these ethics. But you do 🤔
I have watched several videos by the Rabbi. The way people are in the world today, I just don' t think it' s possible to find anyone who actually thinks that's the way relationships and marriage should be. I speak from my own experience and the people I have encountered in the last 53 years.
Men want women for money or lust.
This is true, but it only works if they both do this. If one of them does and the other doesnt, you have a martyr and a taker.
I appreciate this message.
Self interest can be damaging when done selfishly
It's about both person as they respect an not just other person better but both marriage take two
What if the other person isn't sharing that same sentiment?
One way streets end up as dead end streets..Ask me.I know
The Talk Was Really Interesting And Worthwhile
So true❤❤why didnt i learn that before🥰🙂
Thank you Rabbi Friedman.
And what if you are the only one in the couple to think this
So many people get this wrong!
There’s compatibility too Rabbi
How true.
Yes. I think I lack that generosity. I better remain single.
Word's of wisdom 🙌 ✨️ 👏 🙏
I guess I am not made for marriage
Great thanks 🙏🏽🙏👍🏽 thank you 🙏
You a wise man you a great teacher
two become..become one for life
old poeple know best alway
A great way of thinking
Thank you Sir...🙏
Wise
Can I tolerate a narcissist invalidate, dismiss, devalue, humiliate and crush me day in and day out
No...and No
Great questions
Yes sir, but how can i give my time and truelove wholeheartedly if the man you love is already married to other devil woman😢😰😞
This is ight thinking 🎉
Or kill partner 😂