The Kill Switch and the Steering Wheel | Doug Wilson
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 23 авг 2022
- In this episode of Blog & Mablog, Pastor Doug Wilson continues his series of letters to a fictional niece about the relationship between the sexes, this time discussing just how different men and women are from each other and how the Bible serves as a Rosetta Stone of the sexes.
"There used to be shared cultural standards for dating and courtship, but those are largely gone now...
And so there you are, wondering what the expectations are. Don’t worry. For you right now, they reduce to just a few principles."
Blog and Mablog is presented by Canon Press. 
Развлечения
"A long series of non-teleological hangout sessions" 🤣🤣
For the 'Darlas' who can't rely on her earthly father, this is still good advice. The Heavenly Father is still in charge. :)
I appreciate how you frame traditional gender roles. Modern feminism portrays a patriarchy as an inherently evil social structure where women are subservient and powerless. Your perspective shows what power women do have, even though it may be a different kind. God bless, stay safe.
That was fantastic. I wonder, as a Christian father with both a youngish daughter and a youngish son, would Uncle Doug be willing to write to Darla's dad.
Such an excellent idea!! It is so needed in today's society!
That would be awesome... I hope he does it 💪🏻
Who is Darla's dad?
@@potatoes1234 you and me! The archetypal father figure who could use some guidance on how to interact with sons and daughters, as well as their respective suitors.
He could do letters from a newlywed husband who’s much more mature than his younger wife and has to teach her how to be feminine
My 98 year old grandma after about 3 months of dating told my grandfather "I only believe people should date to see if they want to marry that person. We've dated long enough for you to know." He said he didn't so she ended it. He came back with a ring after about 2 weeks. I don't think its inappropriate for a woman to end things and say the reason why. I do think its inappropriate to manipulate and control.
It is incredibly inappropriate not to answer questions like "what is wrong?" That is ridiculous and a woman who acts like that is not ready to be married. Nor a man who doesn't ask such questions AND expect a real answer.
@@faturechi I was with you until that ridiculous sentence fragment at the end there. I would like to give you the thumbs up, but I have no idea what you're saying.
Your grandma is a smart lady. I’m sorry to say that I think much of Doug’s counsel comes from a place of tradition and idealism.
@@selohcin he’s saying it’s inappropriate and immature for a woman to not answer a normal question, and it’s inappropriate and immature for a man not to ask or expect a real answer. It would be pretty dumb for a young lady to sit there looking cute and not answer a normal question and just say “talk to my dad”. It’s horrible advice.
@@JonathanGrandt I think you’re visualizing something specific in how she’s doing it that’s not true to what he’s describing
Excellent advice. As a young, single man who is striving for ministry, this hits the nail on the head 🔨.
One thing a couple is trying to figure out in dating is whether they will be able to handle conflict and communication. If a young lady is concerned about the trajectory of a courtship experience, it’s important that she address it herself. This will help her know how the man will interact with her if they marry. Knowing how a future husband will interact with her concerns is really important information to have and relying on her dad to communicate instead may keep her from learning this important information.
Goodness imagine a Dad you could count on, such a blessing.
Unfortunately for some women we have to ask where it's going? Because we don't have earthly father's or church people to help us. I was a Catholic and now I'm saved by God's grace. I made those choices and followed my heart on the matter of marriage. God has sustained me through it all, good and not so good. He's given me 3 amazing boys and love for my husband in all circumstances. But when we were starting out I couldn't ask my dad the stuff you suggest for this Darla lady. Asking where we are going isn't wrong for the bride to ask. When we ask God where are we going or what's happening now it's not to say I'm choosing where we go.... One is information gathering and the other is direction changing. I can ask my husband where we are going but I don't aim to change his mind. To be fair often it's the women who aren't too proud to stop and ask for directions. I'm by no means a feminist but I was brought up by some who are and I reckon there's a balance between fear of speaking up for oneself and chatty Cathy. For a girl like Darla if she has a dad who can do this then that's great but not everyone has this.
Obedience is better than sacrifice. Find someone who loves you enough to screen suitors and tell you what to do in areas of wisdom and if you cannot find that at your church, find a new church because this is essential
That was in reply to the initial statement, not applicable when you’re already married
Just clarifying what Pastor Doug said in the video, it's not wrong for a woman to ask where the relationship is going. It is wrong for her to use that question as an ultimatum, to control where the relationship is going. If any ultimatum is needed ("get more serious or stop dating"), that must come from her father or some other father-figure in her life if her father is not available. No woman should be commanding her date to get more serious about the relationship.
Loved this one!!
What an incredible blessing to have a father like this.
I really appreciate how Doug analogies.
With that in mind, did anyone else see a political system analogy in this?
That was... Awesome! 🤣🤳(My wife still runs our house and her life... And I am soooo glad!)
Talk to me Mergatroid 🤣🤣🤣
This is the ideal but those without involved fathers must be their own advocate.
They must get a replacement to serve the role of the father within romantic relationships (counsel and gatekeeper)
@@cosmictreason2242 again an ideal solution but probably not doable.
@@margaretwandel5660 not true because God’s word commands Christians to have this fellowship. If they’re not they’re disobedient
@@cosmictreason2242 We all fall short, even Christians. It is good to strive for the ideal but you also have to live in the real world. A young woman without an interested father needs to figure out an approach that works for her circumstances.
@@margaretwandel5660 that’s why I’m saying she should find someone to serve as that role in the local church. And they are obligated to offer to do this, this isn’t all on her. If there is no love in the local church (no one who will be the one to talk to suitors and cancel her vows) then it’s an unhealthy church and she should find a better one
can you link the related blog posts that he is reading?
It will have the same title and be on dougwils
Dear Darla, Doug thinks like me he only delivers it 3 times nicer than I do - dear Darla listen to him or I have to give it to you straight 😂🤠 advantage Doug ... to be continued
1. Your dates have to be planned? What is an “unplanned date”?
2. What is an “undefined relationship”?
3. Don’t go out with a girl aimlessly. What does that mean? “Just hanging out doesn’t have enough direction to it.”
4. Have a talk with her dad about where the relationship is going. What does that mean?
I really don’t understand
This is excellent lol
Marie Callender’s and Doug!
How would this apply to older women with no father to intervene?
You get a substitute. You should be close to an older couple in your church who will serve that role
Good question.
The elders in the church are there for just such a purpose. I have seen this exact scenario play out in "real life" and both the process and the outcome were wonderful to behold.
I would love to have a wife. I trust God though.
I will gladly be a passenger princess😂
If a young woman has no head (ie deceased) or is not living as such (ie drunkard), who is her head and what is hse to do?
An older couple in the church who will serve this role instead. Even to include housing her and telling her when she can’t go out at night
@@cosmictreason2242 WTH? When she can and can't go out at night? We don't practice Sharia law here.
@@MrSilence99 then they should openly rebel and accept the label of feminist
This is going to end with a lot of confused young men. Just when you learn the rules they change them on you....
Y I K E S.
How is this guy so good? I dont get it. It's getting to the point were im having my mind blown everytime he drops a video...i dont know, maybe that says less about him and more about me:)
So for those girls wondering?
_“Are you breaking up with me?”_
“Idk, are we together?”
“That’s for you to decide”
“Please talk to my dad” (pleadingly with puppy dog eyes)
But how can the young women without a father apply such advice?
You must find a substitute who will fulfill that role. The church is obligated to serve you in this way. If they do not love you enough to give you the essentials you need, you must find a good church that will
Yes, someone can step in and play the role of a missing father.
An imperfect but similar case is when Jesus told one of his disciples to care for his mother in place of him:
John 19:26 When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!”
to the natural man, Ecclesiastes 3:15: “That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away.” The “natural man” cannot grasp that, for to him reality is based only on the evidence of the senses. The man of reason could justify the verse’s end, saying if it has any meaning then the writer must mean recurrence. The sun comes every day and the moon completes its cycle and the seasons come and go. If we took a picture of the universe today, the scientists can compute how long it will take to return to this point in the picture. So the intellectual man could justify the verse; but that is not what is meant, for it is addressed not to the man of reason or the man of sense, but to the man of Imagination. What is it all about? “That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been, and God seeks what has been driven away.”
I just saw an explanation as to why Andrew Tate was sent to oblivion from the internet. Doug Wilson just expressed the type of roles between men and women that he did. These are indeed feminist times, where the men are often the biggest promoters.
Now granted, Tate did make his money by running an Onlyfans network of eastern European girls, and then rotated that money into a casino, so he's not the best role model. The 'manosphere' is filled with toxic personalities, and the worst seem to get the most promotion.
@@andrewllewellyn2789 He also had an incredible take on Islam vs Christianity. Definitely not a recommend.
@@banemaler What did he say?
@@potatoes1234 Paraphrased- Basically if a man has authority over a pet, a child, then it would seem that if he is responsible for the protection and care of a women, he should have some authority over said woman. Of course not using a biblical worldview it came out as you would expect but he warned that by saying such things feminists minds would explode.
Only works if your daughter is raised to believe and trust in Christ.
One man is separated by good and evil the natural mind believes whats called dust, the term One God is separated by dust also not believed and belief under the sun. The famous last day never happens to this world repeating to separated mans natural mind, when waking to be Equal with Christ in man then you do have last day under the sun thats not seen by the natural mind looking and waiting outside yourself is powerful Dust called saved sinner not awake about Spirit in you that judges nothing. Luke 17:20And when he was demanded of the Pharisees, when the kingdom of God should come, he answered them and said, The kingdom of God cometh not with observation: 21Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.
What?
May you please delete the comment by Mako Boko.
This trash is EVERYWHERE lately!
I know. I keep on seeing it on Christian channels’ comment sections on RUclips. I wonder why that is.
@@ultimatebros923 It's not just on Christian channels. These scammers are everywhere: gaming channels, politics channels, tech channels, you name it!
Is this that meme from The Notebook?
him: WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
her: IT’S NOT THAT SIMPLE
But her dad is also awkwardly in on the convo…
The mention of “these are feminist times” instantly places anyone who is put off by his absurd metaphor into the “feminist camp” which itself is absurd. It is right and correct to be put off by a stupid metaphor.
It’s not a metaphor, it’s an accurate literal description
@@cosmictreason2242 Um it definitely is a metaphor! Doug explicitly says “The metaphor might be off-putting … but a marriage is a little kingdom and the husband is a little king.”
@@aallen5256 “these are feminist times” is not a metaphor. Reading comprehension!
@@cosmictreason2242 Yeah I don't get what's offensive by saying, "these are feminist times". It's the truth.
@@cosmictreason2242 Yep, that bits not the metaphor dummkopf. OP is saying that if you don’t agree with Doug’s metaphor about husbands as “little kings” you’re suddenly aligned with the feminists.
I hope you read these comments Pastor Wilson. This is one upload where you decided to stay apolitical, and I hope I have a more receptive audience in your friendly uncle guise. I criticized your recent posts regarding the FBI, and I hope you do not dismiss the criticism outright. You should know that the figures of speech you employ may have a particular segment of online consumers of ideas hearing what they want to hear, when they are already poised to confirm their beliefs. Can we judge rightly and say that some beliefs are problematic, even if not wholly evil? My concern is that you are inadvertently becoming a Friar Tuck to the not-so-Merry Men of a growing number in our nation who feel their rights are being eliminated, who see themselves as becoming disenfranchised, who distrust our nation's institutions, and who have given up on the democratic process (which is dangerous if they also want to affect change).
While you may disclaim any intent, when asked in the future, of playing the role of a chaplain for these men, who have increased in number to consider themselves a movement, you are giving them what they would consider Biblical justification for their position against our government. Read the comments of those who rally under your FBI videos. They are secessionists, former occultists who found Jesus, and those who see Satan (quite literally) imbedded in our institutions.
I do not see Satan in this country's institutions. No other country has allowed Christianity to flourish. It is because of our institutions, not in spite of them. When you undermine our institutions, you weaken a country that is more a Christian nation than any other, against formidable enemies where Christianity does not thrive and often persecuted, namely China and Russia. These internal struggles within our country and the attacks on our institutions will be exploited as weaknesses by these countries.
I am not saying pastors should be political eunuchs and have no position on events in the nation and in the world. However, you would probably agree that there are things that are appropriate at the pulpit and things that aren't. When a pastor has notoriety and a following, the video cameras and the chair you sit on in the makeshift studio are your pulpit.
I have had law enforcement come to my own door in the past. The shock of a police officer needing to speak with me, a law-abiding person, took a few days to wear off. I imagine a similar offense when you came across them in your church home. I think we can both arrive at a point where we see the incidents as officers just doing their duty. In the interaction you recounted, it did not seem the FBI was doing anything more checking in, before eliminating your congregation from their list of concerns.
This is not to say there won't be a second visit. I fear this will happen when the audience who gathers to hear you online, quite a bit different than your congregation at church I would hazard to say, might altogether shout "Amen" and then proceed as a group to do something questionable. They will, like most cowards who imagine themselves heroes in their own story, like those who stormed the Capitol, renounce their beliefs when faced with real consequences, and it may be you who will be left holding the bag.
I do not know what it is to be a pastor personally, but I have pastors in my family. If you feel called to speak in a particular way about certain topics, I will trust that is how you define your pastorship and your ministry on earth. As long as you allow viewers to comment, and as time allows, I may present a counterpoint. This is something that I would like to leave with you here: If you preach the Word and do it faithfully, with honesty to your own heart and to the training you received, everything else will follow, won't it? If you speak into others the example of Jesus Christ, it will be our conscience and the indwelling Spirit that will get us to our own decisions?
In any case, I hope your imaginary niece makes the right decision.
Doug Wilson still attempting to prophesy to the dry bones of 90s purity culture.
Only point of disagreement is that no woman should have multiple suitors at one time, but should be considering any potential husband individually before either deciding against him or letting someone else pursue her
One minor disagreement I would add to your minor disagreement. :) It's good to clarify that the man should not be pursuing the woman. Pursuing means she is leading and he is following.
But yes, I agree she should not have multiple suitors at the same time. 3 requests for a first date is ok, but 3 marriage proposals on the same day shouldn't be happening!
@@michaellautermilch9185 I disagree... if a woman dates a man, unless they decide that they're not going to date again she should not be dating other men. I'm not talking just about marriage proposals. We should not have women dating a half a dozen to a dozen different men and auditioning them all at once. It should be one at a time. Everything about any kind of dating or courting process should be mimicking the intention of being strictly monogamous for life and joyfully so
Marriage is not a car with a steering wheel.
By listening to you, it seems that you have missed so much of the Bible.
Doug is wrong in this: the husband is NOT a little king, Christ is King. Christ is the head of the man and the man is head of his wife. This headship does not a king make. Doug uses some queer analogies and then takes them to some weird degrees.
The analogy of the “steering wheel” and “kill switch” is odd because there is no kill switch in a vehicle. A vehicle is also a poor analogy for a premarital relationship. In a dating relationship there is no car.
The symbol of marriage reflects Christ and the church. Christ is truly lord over the church and husband is truly lord over his wife, as 1 Peter 3 also makes explicit.
Cars have keys, which if removed will stop the engine
Yes, truly - Christ is King!
But consider - "Christian" literally means "little Christ" so why not "little king"? There being an analogous relationship of authority (and responsibility) but most assuredly at a subordinate level - kind of a chain of command.