College student here. Starting to see/go through these things. Want to catch the signs early and act with discretion accordingly. Appreciate the guidance and wisdom. Your channel is a treasure for our generation. Thank you.
@@geoffn1530 I don't think that's a good way of putting it. It's not chase who so ever you wish, it's "chase who will grow you to become more conformed to Christ". Also ask her dad first.
Uncle Doug- THIS IS GOLD. Appreciate the black and white truth you lay down. Thankful for this encouragement now- although I wish I knew it years ago- it would’ve prevented some heartache.
Thank you. I needed this. People have told me the verse so many times, but I never understood how to guard my heart exactly. The analogy of the zone of vulnerability is SO good. Thanks for putting this in plain terms that simple folk can understand!
Bless you for this! I needed it as a young woman, turns out I needed it now, too. And so do my daughters. Wise counsel, Uncle Doug...(but really, you're more of a brother's age to me)!
I agree with all of this and these were things that I often wrote about and discussed with other young ladies when I was single. Even though I didn't guard my own heart *perfectly* (I don't know know that anyone actually does!) I'm so thankful to have had the tools to make it possible to have very few emotional entanglements. The one thing that wasn't mentioned here is that electronic communication can be just as devastating to a girl's heart-guarding attempts as in-person activities. I know plenty of girls who wouldn't dream of going out to coffee with a guy as "just friends" but they would spend hours texting with him and then end up hurt when they realized that he wasn't thinking along the same lines as they were!
What you are describing is a phenomenon that I like to call sneak-a-date. I like to call it that because the perpetrator is sneaking a date with somebody without that somebody's knowledge.
Oh my gosh. I kind of knew this already but kind of ignored it because of wishful thinking and wanting to make something happen. If keeping to these rules makes me an old maid, I guess it’s better to be an old maid than heartbroken due to my own foolishness.
Don't let your relationships lie. I have recently had experience with this. If you can't pursue a romantic relationship with someone, don't act like you can just halt where you are in the natural progression of every relationship. Don't date for more than a year or two before you can get married. That is where sin happens!
goodness, that's downright excessive in length. I think it's safest to say that the courtship should be as long as necessary to appraise somebody's qualification to be a good spouse, and then the engagement as short as possible. That may mean a 3-4 month courtship if it's kids who have known each other in church since 14 and just began a courtship at 19
@@cosmictreason2242 in your experience what do you believe is the necessary amount of time to appraise somebody's qualifications? I think for a couple who hasnt known each other long they should try to make to around 9 months, do you agree? Couples burning with passion excepted.
@@cosmictreason2242 During those 4-15 months, does that factor in how often you see them? If you only saw them once a week would the same timeframe apply?
Daaaaaaang. I just realized I can be “emotionally easy” even without particularly liking someone “like that”. But I have still done so because I want to serve others.
What's a fat face 7:03? There's nothing on google about it. thx. Also, why doesn't a conversation like that settle it 5:19? also nothing on Goolge. thx. ps. I affirm all of the mentioned, i just don't understand some points.
1. he means that she would give him a face that communicates a take it or leave it attitude, without anger, but intolerance of any attempts to negotiate 2. Because people’a feelings change, they can be ignorant of their own feelings, and they can be communicating something by their actions that they don’t mean to
This is great advice. The problem is so few women will listen to this coming from a man in our culture and a women giving this advice to is seen as a victim of patriarchy.
Hmm... I feel like we need advice for people who didn't have good experiences with their dad, because that's the majority of girls I know. (At least 65/35 not great versus good). Maybe have a letter where the girl has asked her uncle for advice for her friend 😂
How can I get over someone I have seen adding a pornographic woman on insta after our second date and another one less pornographic after the third date and said it is normal to look at women? Am I paranoia because this really affected me and I was not able to continue the relationship? Thank you!
No, that is not normal. If he is following scantily clad influencers or straight up porn stars on Instagram, that is a huge red flag. And the fact that you can see who he follows means he doesn't care if anyone notices that he follows them. Stay away from said men. If he can't control himself online, he certainly won't be able to control himself in a relationship or marriage. Marital sex doesn't "cure" a porn addiction either. He'll continue to watch porn or sneak looks at photos on Instagram while married. That's how it goes. You absolutely need to be with a man who has a zero tolerance policy in his life for porn. My fiance deleted Instagram 🤷♀️
@@kaylan2083 thank you for your reply . He said he added those two by mistake. But it was so hard for me...even by mistake it is strange because this might show what he is looking for on insta and it hurt me. Be blessed you and your fiance:)
@@simonasimona6574 I think he lied. You don't follow people by mistake. And like you said, even if that was true, that just shows that pornographic content is what he's used to seeing or stumbling across on his Instagram. Women deserve better than that. Keep looking and don't settle or lower your standards.
Let a smooth talking preacher's son sashay into the picture... I give those women 5 minutes. Generously. Without so much as a question. Much less an investigation into his integrity, worship or knowledge of the Lord. It's downright stupid.
_very likely in my own mind the most powerful tool, to call it a something, for gaining control of the imagination (imagination being the hidden light, it is a window, of the heart) is White Ceremonial Magic. The daily exercises you use in ratios of color, sound, shape, angelic forces in phase unity etc. to cleanse your soul. Like poetry, such craft is rarely observed in today's world. Only an adept of Magic would dare speak into the ear of a possible header. And many other things. It utilities states of awareness. The very fruit of magic is a nectar you take in that sustains your attention. The neophyte would be instructed to become acquainted with the four elements, then perform the banishing ritual of the lesser pentagram daily. It will take, though it is but a few simple steps, the practice of which takes approximately 2 to 3 minutes, over a year to learn before something profound clicks in mind. The mind is more powerful than you think. If you can latch on, to what is, like a bird being freed from a cage, or a hound howling in the night, seeking its home, then What Is will truly become What Is, to you. This is a religious statement. Prayer is like using a dull object to perform a surgery. Where white ceremonial Magic is akin to a surgeon's scalpel. I wish you peace. Adonai_
Navigating dating almost makes me nauseous. I affirm this teaching and I think it is biblical and important. It just makes me never want to date or be married. Feels like a waste of time, energy and devotion.
It only becomes a waste of time, energy, and devotion when games are involved. The biblical approach to dating takes away all that. If you're a man and see a girl you want to date, you go up to them and ask them out. For women, take the advice listed in the video. As opposed to playing the dating "game" and ending up heart broken and jaded.
I hear what you’re saying Harley, it can be overwhelming yet this may work for your good though sanctification either way. There’s hardships with everything and it’ll be worth it if you inherit a wife from the Lord, for it’s a good gift. You’re not any less of a man or person if you stay single or get married.
I’m more like a woman when dating. It’s all bout how I feel. If I’m not feelin it I don’t want it. Every so often I’ll meet the “one” at work, restaurant or on a dating app. I’ll really like but not have the qualification to have it reciprocated. And on and on this goes. 38 y/ o Incel here.
Brother, I encourage you to keep seeking the Lord... I have a friend (female) who got married at 40 to her husband who was the same age, and he had never really had a girlfriend. She had a more worldly background and came to faith later. It was such a blessing for them both that the Lord put them together. Now they have two small children. God is able to make it happen for you, don't give up seeking and following Jesus. I had another couple of friends and I asked the husband, "how did you get married?" And he said, "prayed like crazy." And he was serious, not joking.
Check out the new documentary, "Eve in Exile" available May 6th:
www.eveinexile.com
Doug, I enjoy your vlog but hate what you said about Michael Servetus.
Is it free?
I’ve never heard it explained so plainly.
… thanks a bunch. For real.
This is wisdom that would have spared me a lot of heartache. Listen up ladies!
Same here Savannah....same here.
College student here. Starting to see/go through these things. Want to catch the signs early and act with discretion accordingly. Appreciate the guidance and wisdom. Your channel is a treasure for our generation. Thank you.
Just get good grades and good job and chase who so ever you wish. And never fall into the “janitor” zone
@@geoffn1530 I don't think that's a good way of putting it. It's not chase who so ever you wish, it's "chase who will grow you to become more conformed to Christ". Also ask her dad first.
The training we should have received, but didn’t, until now!!!!
Guard your heart AND imagination.
You are spot on Sir. I have been there.
Uncle Doug- THIS IS GOLD. Appreciate the black and white truth you lay down. Thankful for this encouragement now- although I wish I knew it years ago- it would’ve prevented some heartache.
These letter series are highly valuable. Please keep these coming and may the LORD bless you all for it!
Thank you. I needed this. People have told me the verse so many times, but I never understood how to guard my heart exactly. The analogy of the zone of vulnerability is SO good. Thanks for putting this in plain terms that simple folk can understand!
Bless you for this! I needed it as a young woman, turns out I needed it now, too. And so do my daughters. Wise counsel, Uncle Doug...(but really, you're more of a brother's age to me)!
Information that came 40 years too late.. This should have been taught in the 60's
If you can't say amen to this, you ought to say ouch. ☹️💔
Nice hat tip to Voddie. Love it. 😉
Powerful and so true! Ladies know your worth. True men ask you out on dates and define the relationship not keep you guessing!
Dear Dawson and Darla have been so great, thank you!!
Can this series with Dawson & Darla be made into a book? Please!
Hmm...
This is great advice; passing it on!
I'm so thankful my mother severely limited romantically themed media for my sisters and I when we were young.
I agree with all of this and these were things that I often wrote about and discussed with other young ladies when I was single. Even though I didn't guard my own heart *perfectly* (I don't know know that anyone actually does!) I'm so thankful to have had the tools to make it possible to have very few emotional entanglements. The one thing that wasn't mentioned here is that electronic communication can be just as devastating to a girl's heart-guarding attempts as in-person activities. I know plenty of girls who wouldn't dream of going out to coffee with a guy as "just friends" but they would spend hours texting with him and then end up hurt when they realized that he wasn't thinking along the same lines as they were!
I’m over 60 now, and through all that stuff, but, boy! I sure could have used that common sense from Doug back in my twenties. Oh my goodness.
What you are describing is a phenomenon that I like to call sneak-a-date. I like to call it that because the perpetrator is sneaking a date with somebody without that somebody's knowledge.
I've learned avoidance of the zone is a great way to avoid temptation
I wish I would’ve knew this when I was a teen!
Oh my gosh. I kind of knew this already but kind of ignored it because of wishful thinking and wanting to make something happen. If keeping to these rules makes me an old maid, I guess it’s better to be an old maid than heartbroken due to my own foolishness.
Very interesting Doug! I appreciate your perspective very much!
Thank you, Pastor Doug. 🙏🏼
"por__graphy for the emotions" -- so true, that!
Hit the nail on the head with this one!
Don't let your relationships lie. I have recently had experience with this. If you can't pursue a romantic relationship with someone, don't act like you can just halt where you are in the natural progression of every relationship. Don't date for more than a year or two before you can get married. That is where sin happens!
goodness, that's downright excessive in length. I think it's safest to say that the courtship should be as long as necessary to appraise somebody's qualification to be a good spouse, and then the engagement as short as possible. That may mean a 3-4 month courtship if it's kids who have known each other in church since 14 and just began a courtship at 19
@@cosmictreason2242 in your experience what do you believe is the necessary amount of time to appraise somebody's qualifications? I think for a couple who hasnt known each other long they should try to make to around 9 months, do you agree? Couples burning with passion excepted.
@@hookoffthejab1 4-15 months depending on how much talking and time spent living life in each other’s presence they can get done
@@cosmictreason2242 I can get on board with that. it makes sense.
@@cosmictreason2242 During those 4-15 months, does that factor in how often you see them? If you only saw them once a week would the same timeframe apply?
Such wisdom here. Your niece is very blessed to have such a family.
Daaaaaaang. I just realized I can be “emotionally easy” even without particularly liking someone “like that”. But I have still done so because I want to serve others.
How I hope I already heard this before. This is some kind of slap. Thank you still for this. I have a lot of realizations.
To borrow a phase from Eric Mason, this is gold hallelujah! Stacks! Where was my uncle Doug when I was a young girl.
This was the clearest video I have seen on this topic …. I hope more get to watch this
The tangled webs we weave to avoid these starkly basic truths. Thank you for the needed reminder!
Emotional pornography is real!
I’ve been addicted to it in my walk with God, and His conviction of it caused me to repent just recently!
In this episode of: What you should have learned at youth group instead of playing dodge-ball.
Accurate
Gonna share this with everyone
Can’t wait til eve in excile drops
I wish I had known this when I was younger. It would've spared me many a heartache
No ding ding without the wedding ring. Both emotionally and physically.
Also no free milk. Buy the cow, or go away Trevor. 🙄👍
Thank You Lord for showing me this, may it be to Your Glory, amen
This is so good. Wish I had this direction as a teen
Thank you.
Thank you Uncle Doug!
"The issues of life really do flow out of this" ...whoda thunk it, well biblically speaking, God
Excellent godly advice🙋♀️
What's a fat face 7:03? There's nothing on google about it. thx. Also, why doesn't a conversation like that settle it 5:19? also nothing on Goolge. thx. ps. I affirm all of the mentioned, i just don't understand some points.
Eat some twinkies.
1. he means that she would give him a face that communicates a take it or leave it attitude, without anger, but intolerance of any attempts to negotiate
2. Because people’a feelings change, they can be ignorant of their own feelings, and they can be communicating something by their actions that they don’t mean to
@@cosmictreason2242 Thank you kindly. God bless you.
Excellent
God I wish you were in my life years ago.
This is great advice. The problem is so few women will listen to this coming from a man in our culture and a women giving this advice to is seen as a victim of patriarchy.
So so good
Great advice!
Hit the nail on the head.
If a woman has no father or brothers, how would she find men to play that role in her life while still guarding her heart?
A good uncle or older mentor can be huge even a grandfather
This is sooooo good!!!!! (I can't believe I actually am doing the right thing!!! :D)
Good Vid. Hey, y’all should have Wendell Berry and Joel Salatin on man Rampant.
This is true.
Wisdom for the ages!
"...if you listen to your uncle..."
Where were you when I was twelve, Uncle Doug? 😅
Guard your heart by guarding your imagination. 👍
Daydreaming yourself into the zone 😭
Hmm... I feel like we need advice for people who didn't have good experiences with their dad, because that's the majority of girls I know. (At least 65/35 not great versus good). Maybe have a letter where the girl has asked her uncle for advice for her friend 😂
How can I get over someone I have seen adding a pornographic woman on insta after our second date and another one less pornographic after the third date and said it is normal to look at women? Am I paranoia because this really affected me and I was not able to continue the relationship? Thank you!
Simona you did the right thing girl, that is insanity
No, that is not normal. If he is following scantily clad influencers or straight up porn stars on Instagram, that is a huge red flag. And the fact that you can see who he follows means he doesn't care if anyone notices that he follows them. Stay away from said men. If he can't control himself online, he certainly won't be able to control himself in a relationship or marriage. Marital sex doesn't "cure" a porn addiction either. He'll continue to watch porn or sneak looks at photos on Instagram while married. That's how it goes. You absolutely need to be with a man who has a zero tolerance policy in his life for porn. My fiance deleted Instagram 🤷♀️
@@kaylan2083 thank you for your reply . He said he added those two by mistake. But it was so hard for me...even by mistake it is strange because this might show what he is looking for on insta and it hurt me.
Be blessed you and your fiance:)
@@simonasimona6574 I think he lied. You don't follow people by mistake. And like you said, even if that was true, that just shows that pornographic content is what he's used to seeing or stumbling across on his Instagram. Women deserve better than that. Keep looking and don't settle or lower your standards.
@@kaylan2083 Dear Kayla, thanks again for your reply and for your encouragement. 🤗
Is like josh Harris without hearsay and stupidity
Boom
Let a smooth talking preacher's son sashay into the picture...
I give those women 5 minutes. Generously.
Without so much as a question.
Much less an investigation into his integrity, worship or knowledge of the Lord.
It's downright stupid.
Hear Hear!
_very likely in my own mind the most powerful tool, to call it a something, for gaining control of the imagination (imagination being the hidden light, it is a window, of the heart) is White Ceremonial Magic. The daily exercises you use in ratios of color, sound, shape, angelic forces in phase unity etc. to cleanse your soul. Like poetry, such craft is rarely observed in today's world. Only an adept of Magic would dare speak into the ear of a possible header. And many other things. It utilities states of awareness. The very fruit of magic is a nectar you take in that sustains your attention. The neophyte would be instructed to become acquainted with the four elements, then perform the banishing ritual of the lesser pentagram daily. It will take, though it is but a few simple steps, the practice of which takes approximately 2 to 3 minutes, over a year to learn before something profound clicks in mind. The mind is more powerful than you think. If you can latch on, to what is, like a bird being freed from a cage, or a hound howling in the night, seeking its home, then What Is will truly become What Is, to you. This is a religious statement. Prayer is like using a dull object to perform a surgery. Where white ceremonial Magic is akin to a surgeon's scalpel. I wish you peace. Adonai_
#situationships
For me, this information wasn't valuable until it was too late.
Blogging and mogging
Navigating dating almost makes me nauseous. I affirm this teaching and I think it is biblical and important. It just makes me never want to date or be married. Feels like a waste of time, energy and devotion.
If you desire companionship, then this is not the right attitude to take
@@cosmictreason2242 Yeah you’re right. I know I want a wife, but I do worry about the prospect of being divided in devotion/commitment.
It only becomes a waste of time, energy, and devotion when games are involved. The biblical approach to dating takes away all that. If you're a man and see a girl you want to date, you go up to them and ask them out. For women, take the advice listed in the video. As opposed to playing the dating "game" and ending up heart broken and jaded.
I hear what you’re saying Harley, it can be overwhelming yet this may work for your good though sanctification either way. There’s hardships with everything and it’ll be worth it if you inherit a wife from the Lord, for it’s a good gift. You’re not any less of a man or person if you stay single or get married.
I’m more like a woman when dating. It’s all bout how I feel. If I’m not feelin it I don’t want it. Every so often I’ll meet the “one” at work, restaurant or on a dating app. I’ll really like but not have the qualification to have it reciprocated. And on and on this goes. 38 y/ o Incel here.
Brother, I encourage you to keep seeking the Lord... I have a friend (female) who got married at 40 to her husband who was the same age, and he had never really had a girlfriend. She had a more worldly background and came to faith later. It was such a blessing for them both that the Lord put them together. Now they have two small children. God is able to make it happen for you, don't give up seeking and following Jesus. I had another couple of friends and I asked the husband, "how did you get married?" And he said, "prayed like crazy." And he was serious, not joking.