What A Narcissist HOPES When You Go No Contact

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  • Опубликовано: 21 дек 2024

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  • @CommonEgo
    @CommonEgo  5 месяцев назад +74

    *Wondering if you had a relationship with a narcissist?* Download the FREE checklist to see how your experience stacks up to the phases of narcissistic abuse: www.commonego.com/checklist

    • @titaniumaura
      @titaniumaura 5 месяцев назад +1

      STONE AGE II, great movie. I saw it, took 23 years.

    • @user-gy4bg4db4m
      @user-gy4bg4db4m 5 месяцев назад +1

      God bless you. Congratulations.
      I'm try to a divorce and the agreement keeps changing. Any advise will help.

    • @theprimecreator-com
      @theprimecreator-com 4 месяца назад

      Narcissists hope that you people that make these videos get sane, and realize that you infact are the narcissist. Inferiority complex and never admit that you might be part of the problem in a relationship.

    • @karamccammon331
      @karamccammon331 3 месяца назад

      😊​@@user-gy4bg4db4m

    • @MrThankYou-x6j
      @MrThankYou-x6j 3 месяца назад

      @@user-gy4bg4db4m Do you know you can link your phone remotely with your partner's phone and gain full access to all his/her social media accounts, photos, videos, and even his/her messages without any notice with the evidence found you will be able to confront him/her with that and he/she couldn't deny it anymore and stopped, Sometimes you are to make the step first, for your relationship to work

  • @sandraleehurst7350
    @sandraleehurst7350 5 месяцев назад +1234

    My divorce from a covert narcissist of 31 yrs is final TODAY 🎉

    • @Lady420Ganja
      @Lady420Ganja 5 месяцев назад +44

      Congratulations 🎊🎉🎈

    • @sandraleehurst7350
      @sandraleehurst7350 5 месяцев назад +19

      @@Lady420Ganja , thank you ! Woohoo 🥳

    • @neommutle8033
      @neommutle8033 5 месяцев назад +33

      Go out and celebrate 🍾. Buy yourself something nice, do something only you wanted to do. ❤❤❤

    • @rubberbiscuit99
      @rubberbiscuit99 5 месяцев назад +27

      Congratulations! That is a very big deal.

    • @Gypsywandering400
      @Gypsywandering400 5 месяцев назад +18

      🎉✨💃🏿🔥🌈💫🎆🌅

  • @singstreetcar5881
    @singstreetcar5881 5 месяцев назад +808

    When u leave, NEVER GO BACK. They don't change. Its a personality disorder, there is no cure for their behaviour.

    • @Deb_Creamer
      @Deb_Creamer 5 месяцев назад +33

      Finally realizing this

    • @Scarlettie26888
      @Scarlettie26888 4 месяца назад

      Yeah us humans with personality disorders deserve no empathy and there’s definitely no cure or help for us. Really?? You’re the same type to believe cancer has no cure. If a narcissist wants to change they can. You should’ve just said they should learn self love and leave relationships of abuse no matter if they have a personality disorder or not. But to say a narcissist or anyone cannot be helped and there’s no cure is ignorance. I’m histrionic that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve relationships or friendships. People need to be more sympathetic because personality disorders are a MENTAL ILLNESS. We don’t think and perceive things the way everyone else does. I wouldn’t recommend being in a relationship with a narcissist unless they are willing to get therapy. There’s self aware narcissists on RUclips explaining that relationships with narcissists can work. But don’t tell people they can’t be cured. We all deserve love. Some of us are just broken. Thankfully you’re not the judge of humanity but God who is merciful and understands is

    • @canman5559
      @canman5559 4 месяца назад +11

      Not trying to give anyone hope but I was diagnosed with BPD and psychedelics really helped change me

    • @joespilsbury2173
      @joespilsbury2173 4 месяца назад

      I have bpd aswell . Split with my narc findint it so hard. I micro dose magic mushrooms its helping​@canman5559

    • @kbradley4538
      @kbradley4538 4 месяца назад +18

      @@canman5559BPD can be treated and managed in a way that narcissism can’t.

  • @kiasunray
    @kiasunray 5 месяцев назад +381

    BLOCKED, BLOCKED, BLOCKED, leave me ALONE‼️

    • @teresagarcia7580
      @teresagarcia7580 5 месяцев назад +8

      Yep

    • @raskolnikov1461
      @raskolnikov1461 4 месяца назад +6

      Yes! Stay strong 💪 ❤

    • @LolaLoopsAndStitches
      @LolaLoopsAndStitches 3 месяца назад

      Yes

    • @germainekatherine7149
      @germainekatherine7149 3 месяца назад +1

      This makes complete since... Me an my husband are currently split right now he actually has me blocked when he actually caused this making it seem like it's my fault

    • @Ratgirl2
      @Ratgirl2 2 месяца назад

      @@germainekatherine7149
      My friend disengaged and her partner is t liking it he said I'm not putting up with this you better stop he tells her. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😬😬

  • @TimetoWonder222
    @TimetoWonder222 5 месяцев назад +328

    No contact means NO contact. Block them everywhere and never look back.

    • @kbernieshoW
      @kbernieshoW 5 месяцев назад +3

      Yea blocking ur mother type hard lol 😂 but I’m no contact currently and every time she call I pretend I’m busy
      “ hey ur uncle came around left your tools here ,”
      Me: ok mom but I gotta get back to work talk to u later “
      Then months pass.. but it’s funny when u stop talking to them they throw a fit of trying to get ur responses😂

    • @theventuresofcowboytubbs3007
      @theventuresofcowboytubbs3007 4 месяца назад +2

      I’m working on it!

    • @Trammiliin_nr2
      @Trammiliin_nr2 4 месяца назад +2

      Sometimes it can’t be done just like that. Sometimes you have to co-parent with a narcissistic ex, the narcissist you are trying to avoid is your neighbour or being 100% no contact with a parent means you can’t go to your nephew’s birthday. I’m in very low contact with my mother. Meaning, we do not talk, but still see at birthdays sometimes. I would not want to miss these events, even though it’s sometimes rather awkward. Fortunately she’s too embarrassed to do her tricks in public and stays away from me. I’d prefer not to see her at all, but it would mean missing out a lot.

    • @JonathanHancoc
      @JonathanHancoc 4 месяца назад +2

      It's hard when you still love them 💔 it's not always the end sometimes the timing isn't right but I may just be naive and need to walk away but it's still new and we were long distance the whole relationship

    • @McD-j5r
      @McD-j5r 3 месяца назад

      Probably the need to block is related to our careful call for us to be strong because once our inner decision is taken we move on.

  • @3dholliday
    @3dholliday 5 месяцев назад +411

    I ran into my ex and when he started talking, I just walked away while he was talking. Felt soooo good.

    • @MistresstheMediator
      @MistresstheMediator 5 месяцев назад +11

      😂😂

    • @AriaPlez
      @AriaPlez 5 месяцев назад +11

      😂💀😈 love it

    • @brianm1185
      @brianm1185 5 месяцев назад +13

      I did the same thing to my narc, it KILLS them.

    • @carlaland9449
      @carlaland9449 5 месяцев назад +11

      Thanks I was looking for a strategy in case I meet my ex. Thats just perfect!

    • @jemry1990
      @jemry1990 5 месяцев назад +3

      Hahaha something I would love to do one day

  • @Agheel963
    @Agheel963 5 месяцев назад +261

    The longer you stay silent will drive them bonkers 💯 hold your ground and simply ignore them

  • @georgina1921
    @georgina1921 5 месяцев назад +322

    People, that is why you should NOT be looking at their social media accounts or being interested in anything that they’re doing!

    • @mariannenapoles146
      @mariannenapoles146 5 месяцев назад +7

      Yes.

    • @kyril3125
      @kyril3125 5 месяцев назад +10

      Didn't, since we split up!
      But she does!

    • @ericheffner112
      @ericheffner112 5 месяцев назад +8

      And some narcs know how to see who's been visiting their social media page.

    • @raskolnikov1461
      @raskolnikov1461 4 месяца назад +2

      Yes

    • @Jade-k1x
      @Jade-k1x 4 месяца назад +3

      I didn’t block mine but don’t look at his page since he has many 😂

  • @cassandraandrews6656
    @cassandraandrews6656 5 месяцев назад +357

    When you go no contact, you have to be prepared to leave EVERYTHING behind in pursuit of your peace. When a person leaves a burning building, to preserve their life they walk away from everything. Leaving a narcissistic relationship and going no contact is no different. You don't need to return to the burning building to find closure. The reason they did all those things is because they are sick so THAT'S your closure no explanation needed.

    • @Chanelle247
      @Chanelle247 5 месяцев назад +26

      Escaping a burning building is one of the best analogies I’ve ever heard about escaping narcissists. Thank you.

    • @lindac6919
      @lindac6919 5 месяцев назад +16

      I think of it as escaping from behind enemy lines. Like escaping the Nazis Death Camps.

    • @SILENTVIOLET44
      @SILENTVIOLET44 5 месяцев назад +9

      This perfect way to explain. Thank you.

    • @philmehrart
      @philmehrart 4 месяца назад +4

      What do you do when your child is in said building? You're left without much choice

    • @quantumtechcrypto7080
      @quantumtechcrypto7080 4 месяца назад +2

      Nailed it…but those freaks have fire proof suits hiding behind the shadows waiting for the return :)

  • @sandrabryan9106
    @sandrabryan9106 5 месяцев назад +139

    The only peace of mind they want to give you is a piece of their mind.

  • @Sheisme120
    @Sheisme120 5 месяцев назад +203

    11:59 When the narcissist calls you a “narcissist.”🙄

    • @lynncasey4372
      @lynncasey4372 5 месяцев назад +8

      Yup

    • @josereyes1148
      @josereyes1148 5 месяцев назад +9

      Yup. He reached out to tell me he was moving into the same apartment as me. He knew it would trigger me. Then when I took the bait and responded negatively, he called me a narcissist for trying to control where he lives.

    • @Snowfoxie1
      @Snowfoxie1 5 месяцев назад +6

      Mine lied and lied and lied and told huge grandiose lies and tiny covert lies and all kinds of lies in between.
      Then called me a liar when I left him. What I was lying about, he couldn’t say. Weird.

    • @cincyfanjunglecity9871
      @cincyfanjunglecity9871 5 месяцев назад +2

      Boy oh boy did I hear that a lot from my ex narc. It’s crazy cause they actually believe it to.

    • @Cercy-vm5hm
      @Cercy-vm5hm 5 месяцев назад +5

      My sister did that... and finally took my daughter away from me through a mixture of projection and taking advantage of teen girl middle child syndrome my daughter was/is going through. Never felt so betrayed and heartbroken in my entire life... it's only going to be two weeks, and all I can do is pray that my daughter will snap out of the trance and manipulation she's under.

  • @dub1951
    @dub1951 5 месяцев назад +216

    If you go no contact and they somehow manage to contact you and the hairs stand on your neck and your stress levels go through the roof you know you've made the right decision.
    Going back will be detrimental to your mental health and wellbeing

    • @rachelabate2401
      @rachelabate2401 4 месяца назад +6

      I know what you said is true. I saw my person after no contact for 1 year. Our children are friends, so I felt conflicted about no contact for the children's sake. Also conflicted about our friendship all over again. It's not romantic. It was a friendship.

    • @Jade-k1x
      @Jade-k1x 4 месяца назад +6

      I always went back, I always begged this time I just said I was done. I told him you push a women to a point she will leave for good.

    • @dub1951
      @dub1951 4 месяца назад +3

      @@Jade-k1x live your best life jade your just flogging a dead horse going back, I know

    • @dreambeliever3652
      @dreambeliever3652 4 месяца назад +1

      It absolutely destroyed me physically and mentally. I’m finally in the best shape again. It’s been about a year since I separated from her

    • @soulspeaker1650
      @soulspeaker1650 4 месяца назад +6

      Everything I see a whatsapp message my heart beats fast 😢

  • @mathews0618
    @mathews0618 5 месяцев назад +201

    If they spent this much effort into being decent they wouldn't have problems to begin with

    • @michaeloneill5877
      @michaeloneill5877 4 месяца назад +11

      There you go, EXACTLY
      Just WALK away and NEVER, EVER look back

    • @quantumtechcrypto7080
      @quantumtechcrypto7080 4 месяца назад +10

      They don’t know who to be or what is genuine they were created out of crisis situation as kids…they couldn’t self reflect but followed suit on their abusers behavior.

    • @msthang5366
      @msthang5366 3 месяца назад +4

      Somehow that never crosses their mind..🤦🏿‍♀️

    • @Soohable
      @Soohable 2 месяца назад

      That's why you need to test them, lady!!

    • @existinginthegray
      @existinginthegray Месяц назад

      💯

  • @tungstenanderson5991
    @tungstenanderson5991 3 месяца назад +75

    One of the best quotes I have ever read was someone who wrote this " The best apology you will ever get from a narcissist, is the silent treatment, until they need something. They decide to talk to you again because of it, and the original matter(s) that hurt you, isn't even mentioned"

    • @josmclove4426
      @josmclove4426 3 месяца назад +1

      Indeed

    • @lisafults6683
      @lisafults6683 3 месяца назад +7

      I had to help take care of my elderly mom when she was at end of life. I had managed to gray rock and minimize contact for about 20 years. One of her last tidbits for me was “your grandmother never liked you. She liked your brother but not you.” I just moved and found over a 100 cards from my Grams reminding me she loved me. Sad.

    • @Spokiez
      @Spokiez 2 месяца назад

      @@lisafults6683
      Get over here now.
      -🫂- There.
      Blessings be ~

    • @ninamarielavu
      @ninamarielavu 2 месяца назад +2

      Wow

    • @tungstenanderson5991
      @tungstenanderson5991 2 месяца назад +3

      @@lisafults6683 Aw...sorry hun. The love was there for you always..you felt it and, it's actually positive. You got a warm hug in your minds eye from across the grave, more than 100 times. And, if it helps, you got one across youtube as well. Your Grams loved you and you were all deserving of it, sweet sister.

  • @JohnOakes-mw5ls
    @JohnOakes-mw5ls 5 месяцев назад +85

    “They’re not tugging at your heart strings, they’re tying you up with them”.
    Love it! 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

  • @dinanefoster3800
    @dinanefoster3800 4 месяца назад +80

    I’m dealing with a narcissist right now and I’m getting out NOW!!!! I’m running!!!

    • @imranshaik2282
      @imranshaik2282 4 месяца назад +4

      Rooting for you
      It’s emotional control and they want you to emote exactly how they want you to
      Like feel happy now because I am doing these things you always wanted but was never given intentionally
      Feel guilty because I want you to
      Feel insecure because I want you to
      Feel sad and upset because I want you to
      They think you are just a toy who will emote as they tune the setting of the toy

    • @daxachampaneri9390
      @daxachampaneri9390 4 месяца назад +1

      So am I cruel 😢

    • @cherylsabin2707
      @cherylsabin2707 3 месяца назад +2

      Keep running they don't change!! Trust me!! 46 years of marriage and it took a year to be finalized!! June 17th 2024!! Let freedom ring. Keep going you can do it!!

    • @josmclove4426
      @josmclove4426 3 месяца назад +2

      Run like a bat out of hell!😂😂😂

    • @kendradamm1428
      @kendradamm1428 3 месяца назад +1

      Run, Forest, Run!!!! 🏃‍♀️ 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

  • @nostoppingit7243
    @nostoppingit7243 5 месяцев назад +83

    Cat and mouse analogy applies perfectly.

  • @lisamooney6297
    @lisamooney6297 4 месяца назад +51

    Don't be fooled to believe that you are different. They treat everyone this way.

    • @kengaroo5170
      @kengaroo5170 3 месяца назад +2

      Every ex story is about how bad they were. They always play the victim.

    • @MarieM-p5w
      @MarieM-p5w 18 дней назад

      Yep

  • @jocelyndambrosio7794
    @jocelyndambrosio7794 5 месяцев назад +90

    “…closure is as rare as a unicorn” 😂😂😂😂😂 ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️

    • @sandyberger-r9j
      @sandyberger-r9j 5 месяцев назад +11

      Knowing that he has narcissistic personality disorder WAS my closure.

    • @phonk64
      @phonk64 5 месяцев назад +4

      My narc left me, 11 years of marriage, and broke up our family of 4, because she felt like it. It’s shocking. No cheating. No domestic violence. Just constant bickering and an inability to be happy, even though we were doing really well. She knew I knew the mask has slipped, she knew I wasn’t as materialistic, and she knew I knew exactly who she really was - so I got discarded.

    • @empress9857
      @empress9857 3 месяца назад

      Frfr 😅damn sucks but hey it’s a lot of things we don’t get closure on

  • @sherryanderson-y2p
    @sherryanderson-y2p 4 месяца назад +245

    This intriguing video serves as a poignant reminder of the heartache I've been enduring since my 7 year relationship came to an end 4 months ago. My cherished partner, the love of my life, made the difficult decision to part ways, leaving me consumed by thoughts of him. Despite my earnest attempts to win him back, I find myself facing frustration and an overwhelming sense of emptiness, unable to envision a life without his presence. Despite my efforts to move on, I'm compelled to confess my lingering feelings and longing for him here.

    • @erikalane-d1e
      @erikalane-d1e 4 месяца назад +2

      The process of releasing a loved one can be an uphill battle. I can relate, having navigated a similar journey when my 8 year relationship dissolved. Despite the heartache, I refused to relinquish hope and embarked on a quest to win him back. Turning to a spiritual counselor for assistance, I found guidance that ultimately led to our reconciliation.

    • @sherryanderson-y2p
      @sherryanderson-y2p 4 месяца назад +2

      Impressive! How did you manage to connect with a spiritual counselor, and what's the process for me to reach out to her?

    • @erikalane-d1e
      @erikalane-d1e 4 месяца назад +1

      Allow me to introduce Suzanne Ann Walters, a highly skilled spiritual counselor known for her expertise in rekindling past relationships.

    • @sherryanderson-y2p
      @sherryanderson-y2p 4 месяца назад

      Thank you for this invaluable information; I've just checked her out online. Very impressive indeed!

    • @ryan2clw
      @ryan2clw 4 месяца назад +4

      Once you realize there’s no soul behind that mirage, just an empty AI designed to destroy you, it gets easier. I’m still going through it too a little though, hard to let go.

  • @ParadoxicalPoetry
    @ParadoxicalPoetry 4 месяца назад +53

    Watch out for people who don't want you to ask about their ex and why they broke up. Watch out for people who don't integrate you naturally into their lives.

    • @asmrfoodieuk7965
      @asmrfoodieuk7965 4 месяца назад +9

      Or they freely offer info on the ex, it was the exs fault and the ex before that - their fault too! Red flags galore!

  • @alcudiababe1
    @alcudiababe1 5 месяцев назад +175

    I don't truly believe it's your empathy or guilt that makes you cave you do it because they've become trauma bonded to you and you cave because they are like an addition

    • @CommonEgo
      @CommonEgo  5 месяцев назад +36

      I think both may be true at the same time. The trauma bond is why these tactics work so well 🙏❤️

    • @christystanczyk875
      @christystanczyk875 5 месяцев назад +10

      @@CommonEgoyes. You become trauma bonded it’s all correlated. You are 100 percent correct ✅.

    • @reneegardner2286
      @reneegardner2286 5 месяцев назад +8

      *you are trauma bonded to them

    • @NX350_Joe
      @NX350_Joe 5 месяцев назад

      @@reneegardner2286 100% agree.
      It is like drugs.
      But it is up to us to say NO
      GOD will heal us.
      Leave them alone.

    • @Trammiliin_nr2
      @Trammiliin_nr2 4 месяца назад +4

      When I went no contact with my mother, guilt aspect was the hardest for me. But I got over it by reminding myself that:
      1. If it was some other type relationship, I would not feel guilty at all.
      2. She has 3 more kids she can betray and use as a supply.
      3. I can at any time reconcile and she’d gladly give me my role of the scapecoat back.

  • @CriticalGinger
    @CriticalGinger 5 месяцев назад +47

    Just went no contact a week ago. Thank you for making this video when you did.

    • @carolovesteven
      @carolovesteven 5 месяцев назад +8

      Stay focused. Don’t go back. What helped me was God. Fasting, praying and reading the word of God. ♥️

    • @Lady420Ganja
      @Lady420Ganja 5 месяцев назад +5

      Dude so this happened to be too…its a blessing trust. When the universe has given you so many reasons and opportunities to end this shituation and you dont…it pushes you into the lake with no life jacket and does it for you. Take it as a gift.

    • @herelieskittythomas3726
      @herelieskittythomas3726 5 месяцев назад +5

      Grieve in silence, you may unexpectedly be overcome by emotions. You can get through it. The drama free peace of mind will come in waves, it feels like true freedom. Stay the course. It's been over a month for me. I am over the grieving process.

    • @katherinedownover7927
      @katherinedownover7927 4 месяца назад +1

      I went no contact 2moths ago he turned up at a church gathering I just left. It was hard but God help me keep my mouth shut and walk away. It’s hard but one day at a time with the Lord in control

  • @gallantresse7680
    @gallantresse7680 5 месяцев назад +40

    And it’s always when you think ‘it’s over, you are finally at peace’ when they contact you directly/indirectly 🤮

  • @Sheisme120
    @Sheisme120 5 месяцев назад +59

    2:23 This explains a lot. A very close “friend” lied about me to people and even tried to turn my fiancé against me. And then apologized after she got caught, and faked remorse, but at the same time told me that I “have a habit of being inconsiderate and doing things without thinking about how my actions affect other people.” She also asked me if we could still hangout, but I never did again. Then I noticed some of her friends who used to love me started acting weird and like they were trying to avoid me. I’m about 100% sure I know why that is.🙄

    • @jakerabinz9411
      @jakerabinz9411 5 месяцев назад +5

      I once had a narcissistic coworker who admittedly "threw me under the bus" with our supervisors. Fortunately the supervisors , were smarter. I was not discharged. When I left for another position months later. The narcisstic co-worker asked for my personal phone # so we could " keep in touch". I responded "sorry but I don't need to keep in touch with a back stabbing sack full of dogshit, buhbye !!"

    • @empress9857
      @empress9857 3 месяца назад +1

      She lied to them about you or told them something you said trust me they did it I didn’t want to believe it either when it happened to me but yes they acting different because she want to turn them against you

    • @jakerabinz9411
      @jakerabinz9411 3 месяца назад

      @@empress9857 There are two gradations of narcississm. All Narcissists hunger for narcissitic supply. Individuals an achievement awards to prop up their totally insecure insecure egos that they are exceptional, and therefore justify their souless lacking of empathy, in favor of angrandisemet of there desperate ego's tantrums to be recognized. Because they are disconnected from their deeper Soulself ( which may not exist at all if all they developed was just a predatory focused "REPTILIAN" level of brain development.) So the narcissist is lacking in empathy, just like psychopaths. They only pretend to be sympathetic and empathic. In fact everything they do is just pretending to be magnificent in some way. So the Beneign Narcissitic ego constructs a superhero facade, supported by fandoms of morons desperate to be somebody at all, by their obtaining some form of recognition from the fake hero the worship. An autograph, or better still personalized autograph, or better still a picture of themself with their idol. Or better still a VIP event with their idol. Or better still a "Secret Session" event with their idol. Or even better still a " bestie" recognition. Or even better still the appearance, either real or fake, of physical and emotional intimacy with their idol. Total desperate devotion.to bolstering up their Idol's Narcissistic ego, and by annihilating one's own unique identity. The narcissist preys on those fools, and their yardstick ofvwothinessvof others is how well they keep blowing smoke up the narcissist's ass to keep the balloon of ego inflated. That is all a 8 year old level of developmental arrest. The tea-party queen or king kept inflated by selecting wannabees. Now when one grows up and wises up and questions or abandons that relationship. The king or queen is offended, and " bans from the kingdom/ queendom", if just a benign narcisstic. Whereas a malignant narcissist goes further, and seeks harder severe revenge. This is the first level of " the dark triad", the other two being " Psychopathic, and Machevellian. People with so much angry overinflated egos that their view has crossed over into " How dare they, I will show them, by totally destroying them." Lost in insanity. Stuck in their childish tantrum.

    • @iopakayalo3459
      @iopakayalo3459 2 месяца назад

      Figuring out this too! I am sure the smear campaign has started. Maintaining no contact. It's been 4y.

  • @goldenwarrior5664
    @goldenwarrior5664 5 месяцев назад +76

    Moved 2400 miles away 3 years no contact still getting flying monkeys sometimes

    • @ElMorbo-x2y
      @ElMorbo-x2y 5 месяцев назад +12

      12 years here. His ex gf kept messaging me on FB. Apparently I’m crazy for not hanging out anymore. Yawn.

  • @stormyweather9038
    @stormyweather9038 5 месяцев назад +206

    Yeah nah, they weird. Why would they think that someone they’ve hurt and disrespected repeatedly - will come back. Delusional. Just stay no contact.

    • @fruitypopwhickle6806
      @fruitypopwhickle6806 5 месяцев назад +20

      Mine left me without a job and was downright cruel about it. He's been hoovering and saying "we need to fix things". Fix what things? My closure came from his disrespect. I been done-done and never again.

    • @Nat-oj2uc
      @Nat-oj2uc 5 месяцев назад +12

      Because it works. Many come back

    • @10ille99
      @10ille99 5 месяцев назад +9

      Because people do it all the time. That's why.

    • @Kavilion
      @Kavilion 5 месяцев назад +12

      It’s so hard to stay away. Your brain pathways can become rewired around their treatment, so being suddenly without them (even if they were horrible to you) can be similar to extreme drug withdrawal. It takes immense willpower to stay away, and millions of people have fallen into the cycle.

    • @coreycox2345
      @coreycox2345 5 месяцев назад

      @@Nat-oj2uc Only if they meet your requirements, though. Or, if you have thought of them as unsuitable for a romantic relationship, and they are, maybe they will be honest with themselves and you and stay as your beloved friend. If they have already been that for years and you like having them around, honesty is critical. There are different kinds of love.

  • @0Kay1989
    @0Kay1989 4 месяца назад +19

    I once had a friendship with a narcissist back when I was part of the art community. I cut him out of my life, and then less than a week later, I began to notice I was losing support from friends and people I once trusted. And many of them were mutual friends he and I shared. The moment I saw that, was the moment I knew what he was up to. It became a high speed chess match for a little over a year, and I won by going no contact entirely.
    Don't give up. You too can heal. The advice in this video is exactly how you beat them.

  • @kirkhogan2688
    @kirkhogan2688 4 месяца назад +16

    I'ts been over two years no contact with my female narc x,
    Not heard anything...
    Life has gone back to normal since she discarded me!
    No closure, no admittance of guilt or accountability,
    I must be a lucky one🤞

  • @H1shQuTen
    @H1shQuTen 4 месяца назад +48

    When a narcissist has exhausted the resources that interested them, they no longer have the desire to spend their time trying to win you back and then she/he move on to another victim. A narcissist never has just one victim in play.

    • @Daddyrizz333
      @Daddyrizz333 3 месяца назад +2

      Incorrect they always want to keep their main primary supply in their back pocket only you can decide to walk away

    • @Yo-yo-dt5ze
      @Yo-yo-dt5ze 3 месяца назад +1

      My ex left me after he exhausted everything from me he had more than one supply we was together for 5 yrs I went no contact on everything including blocked every last cash app he had and I never looked back it was mentally physically and emotionally draining

    • @juliettecrossley4864
      @juliettecrossley4864 3 месяца назад

      My Narc never went with other women..he spent all his time being a complete bsstard

    • @H1shQuTen
      @H1shQuTen 3 месяца назад

      @@Daddyrizz333 if you are primary supply. If you are not, you are just shelved?

  • @mysticsuzi
    @mysticsuzi 5 месяцев назад +25

    Perfect timing! my narc reached out by FB messenger after I blocked all his phone numbers. I did not respond or delete the message last week. I thought maybe in a year he would reach out again but it was one week. Messaged me again today and I think because I did not respond or block him, he took that as a opening. So today I blocked him completely on FB. I haven't even spoken to him in 5 years and I have also moved 500 miles away. Took me so long to get out because I did not want to deal with the fallout.

  • @praschowta6947
    @praschowta6947 2 месяца назад +3

    My peace is more important than their performance! LOVE IT

  • @JohnDon-pj8nv
    @JohnDon-pj8nv 4 месяца назад +13

    Please God keep moving forward never go back keep the faith please God someone else better waiting on you😊😊😊

  • @MegaRockstar48
    @MegaRockstar48 5 месяцев назад +82

    The narcissist hopes that you disappear quietly. Mine deleted me from her fb page almost straight away as they don’t want anyone to see the link between them and their ex. Reason being is they don’t want people to question why the relationship has ended as questions may suddenly be asked about them. It’s about maintaining their false image and being able to continue the pattern of behaviour they have perfected. My ex had a new supply within days, her close friends blocked me so I know she smeared me, although she denied doing so. She was the best actress I have ever met

    • @NX350_Joe
      @NX350_Joe 5 месяцев назад +5

      They r known for their acting n drama queens @ka Oscar awards

    • @naowright9308
      @naowright9308 5 месяцев назад +1

      She sounds like my sister-in-law. I would think it is her except that she was never in a close relationship with a man who wasn't family. She has a lot of brothers and takes turns buttering each of them up and discarding their wives.

    • @changjuihsien
      @changjuihsien 5 месяцев назад

      Same experience here

    • @RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql
      @RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql 5 месяцев назад +2

      The x narc was a great actor. Had so many fooled.

    • @NX350_Joe
      @NX350_Joe 5 месяцев назад

      @@RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql they r in for the academy awards.
      Hall of famers

  • @evolvedcoachingaustralia
    @evolvedcoachingaustralia 5 месяцев назад +20

    3 time leaving the narc. To quote Richard Granon "The whole relationship was a lie."

  • @stevec3892
    @stevec3892 5 месяцев назад +97

    Try having a family full of them

    • @miraclesforus
      @miraclesforus 5 месяцев назад +13

      How about a world full of them

    • @singstreetcar5881
      @singstreetcar5881 5 месяцев назад +17

      It's so difficult when it's ur family members.

    • @ImbolcSirbu
      @ImbolcSirbu 5 месяцев назад +3

      yes... same here, and the nice people aer totally 'in their spiderweb', i had to let them go bc i'm really so sick, always drained drained, best of luck to you, from Belgium

    • @karenmcgady7637
      @karenmcgady7637 5 месяцев назад +3

      How about a narcissistic DIL (who lives, with your son, 5000 milesfrom you) who had a little boy with your son, and has gaslit your son to the point where he won't give you their new home address...even though all you want to do is send birthday cards to the grandchild.

    • @singstreetcar5881
      @singstreetcar5881 5 месяцев назад +4

      @@karenmcgady7637 u are the one that's the narc. Ur bothering them. Leave them alone.
      Ur an estranged parent who can't leave their child alone

  • @victoriajphearts
    @victoriajphearts Месяц назад +1

    Is is so so true. I have been multiple cycles and am so do tired of it but have user channels like this to go no contact and initially they just sent deliberate bate on social media thej reels to my inbox then even blocking and explaining I wist to move on. 💪💪This I have realized is Paramount for your healing and to stop wasting time on this person xh ks text book narcissist. Thabks for sharing this video of this really help with recovery. ❤️❤️🙏

  • @lawrencedavis5459
    @lawrencedavis5459 5 месяцев назад +39

    I saw so many red flags with the last relationship I knew what the pattern was. I went along with it but I knew what was coming. I told her from the start you got one chance at this. Sure enough 3 months later the mask starts to slip and she said she's been talking to her ex boyfriend, I immediately told her we're done and went no contact. She tried every trick in the book but I maintained my boundaries. Blocked every possible way she could contact me. This is after 3 previous relationships with toxic women.

    • @ElMorbo-x2y
      @ElMorbo-x2y 5 месяцев назад +9

      First it’s lovebombing then drama and betrayal. Finally devalues you. Hope you find better people.

    • @akuma8318
      @akuma8318 3 месяца назад

      🗿🗿🗿

    • @Loutron3030
      @Loutron3030 3 месяца назад

      So you were super jealous, insecure and controlling- but your ex is the "toxic" "narcissistic" one because she told you she talked with her ex? Right...
      I mean atleast you did your ex a favour and broke up with her, probably the best thing you ever did for her. I'll give you credit for skipping straight to the "discard" stage, that's better than most atleast.
      Ed: Hah, just clocked the "3 previous relationships" bit, yeah- funny how everyone else in their life always seems to be the problem but never them. Classic.

  • @neommutle8033
    @neommutle8033 5 месяцев назад +18

    You have just described my mother a 100%

  • @lisaatkinson6276
    @lisaatkinson6276 5 месяцев назад +15

    Great video. I can’t go no contact just yet with my toxic narcissist sister, but I did go very gray rock and now she is threatening to sue me for it. That’s how I know this is successful.

    • @Ariadne76-k3d
      @Ariadne76-k3d 5 месяцев назад

      Why can't you go no contact?

    • @RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql
      @RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql 5 месяцев назад

      I had to go no contact with siblings. A few years later tried to reconnect again. It did not last. I do email one sibling, but we don’t see each other.

  • @jentommyontheroad8089
    @jentommyontheroad8089 5 месяцев назад +11

    The hoovering attempts don’t end. My first fiancé (a grandiose narcissist) who I haven’t seen nor had contact with for 35+ years sent me a friend request on FB. I didn’t take the bait but was shocked after so many years!

  • @GratitudeandGrace1111
    @GratitudeandGrace1111 3 месяца назад +8

    6 months no contact!!! I know my worth!! Only made me stronger !!! I will not let him break me!!

  • @Snowfoxie1
    @Snowfoxie1 5 месяцев назад +47

    “The trouble with small furry animals in a corner is that, just occasionally, one of them's a mongoose.”
    -Terry Pratchett
    The narcissist thinks you’re a mouse, but you’re a fierce and cunning mongoose. Zig when they think you’ll zag. Walk tall on your own. Leave the cobra alone with its venom.

    • @lindac6919
      @lindac6919 5 месяцев назад +9

      "Go ahead. Underestimate me.
      It will be fun... I promise."

    • @nwhpdawns2239
      @nwhpdawns2239 4 месяца назад +5

      Yes this! Mine liked to "make jokes" about finding his own place and moving out. Constant low threat of leaving. I was supposed to convince him to stay each time. One day, I responded with, "Maybe you should. It would solve many problems." Just wow at the rejection switch that flipped! 3 months later, he has his own place and I am no contact.

    • @Snowfoxie1
      @Snowfoxie1 4 месяца назад

      @@nwhpdawns2239 good for you!!!

    • @lindac6919
      @lindac6919 4 месяца назад +3

      @@nwhpdawns2239 ...and now, every time he acts shirty, you can ask him "how's that moving out thing coming along? You never finish what you start...you started talking about moving out in June of 2024."

    • @nwhpdawns2239
      @nwhpdawns2239 4 месяца назад +4

      @lindac6919 Oh, he has moved out. I packed him up myself while he was out and left it outside.

  • @LoveAllCreations
    @LoveAllCreations 5 месяцев назад +31

    Lots of people expressed their 'concern' about me after chatting to the narc in my life. Others were downright scared to approach me. I still wonder what they thought I'd do to them 🤷🏼‍♀️ as I had never shown a violent or abusive behaviour in the past 😄 Now I laugh about it, because I'm free from this creep and I have healed enough to recognise what was actually happening

    • @herelieskittythomas3726
      @herelieskittythomas3726 5 месяцев назад +2

      Mine is calling me a Radical. 😂😂😂 I can only imagine the terrible things he will say to anyone that will listen.

  • @garyonthego
    @garyonthego Месяц назад +2

    You have NAILED my wife 1000000% with this video! No kidding it’s as if you’re using her as the example for this. Video…. Wow!

  • @Notascousebird
    @Notascousebird 3 месяца назад +36

    One week no contact and I hate it. Such a weird conflicting feeling. I’m angry at the betrayals, lies and gaslighting. I’m so sad that he can never see how much I loved him and would have done anything for him. Only justice is that I’m the one that left

    • @angelak4389
      @angelak4389 3 месяца назад +4

      Same!!!! It’s awful 😞 the worst feeling! And it’s always us that gets left! I hope you are doing well with no contact sending you strength. I blocked mine a few days ago. It was the HARDEST thing and took me years to get to this point. I still feel conflicted but peace at the same time it makes the no contact a bit easier. It eases anxiety in having to check your phone to see if there’s a message or call. If you can, try block. It’s hard but do it in your own time. Everyone says it like it’s easy. It’s not. It would annoy me when people said it but now I have done it I understand. When you are ready in your time. The issue with blocking is wanting to know it easier for them to contact you. I get it! Sending strength and love ❤️

    • @travelfan100
      @travelfan100 3 месяца назад +1

      Same but mine was a friendship.Everything I said was twisted to suit Thier narrative. I was verbally abused many times but never an apology Nearly two weeks now and I got a text today saying sorry out friendship didn't work out but if you ever want to call me please do. I'm confused and heartbroken. Thought we were friends forever.

  • @willieknows2708
    @willieknows2708 5 месяцев назад +8

    Gratitude 🤲 Your Way.
    Yes The Black Magic Got Crazy & Continual. Him & His New Supply.

  • @nicoletteCA
    @nicoletteCA 4 месяца назад +9

    We have all caved, I regret caving because he’s the one that played games and slept around. BUT, it lead me to finally block him everywhere and who cares what he thinks! If he thinks I still care, if I love him, if I’m bothered, who cares! Because guess what, in ten years or 20 years when you haven’t unblocked them, that’s when they’ll be bothered because they want you to watch them

  • @brianmcmahon1546
    @brianmcmahon1546 2 месяца назад +1

    Your truly amazing! Thank you for this amazingly articulate description of how the NARC actually is. Bless you!

  • @tinaureta9891
    @tinaureta9891 5 месяцев назад +7

    YOU are AWESOME!!! I Love you! My Narc Genius husband did this all…. After such a SADISTIC CRUEL WEIRD Callous DISCARD 1 yr. ago. It almost destroyed me, Literally. But Jesus Held my hand, Opened doors, brought me help, sent His Holy Comforter(Holy Spirit) and Wiped my Tears!
    My Narc… did go where I wanted to go…He did take the foreign trip I wanted to go so much, He did Fancy up his $60k Truck when I had king asked him to get me a new vehicle cuz mine is 200,000 miles……
    Then turned around and left a message when I went NO CONTACT…. “Hey, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you. Why aren’t you answering . Are you Ok? I need to know you are safe, please let me know”
    I NEVER RESPONDED…. He was tricking…..

  • @deandrebit601
    @deandrebit601 4 месяца назад +1

    A Narcissist Coach you are indeed, no doubt in my mind. Your experiences working with many others speaks volumes, and thank you for your vidz.. UNLESS you know this difficult person your dealing with HAS taken a very committed course of ACTION to change their whole reality and perception's of them selves and others, with proof of who is working WITH them, Clinical Psychologist, Professional who knows these types WELL, etc... REALITY SPEAKS LOUD and Clear, yes, they have NOT changed ONE bit!!! Fair WARNING..

  • @lizblock9593
    @lizblock9593 5 месяцев назад +17

    My NPD father is Master of the Grand Dramatic Issue. Several years ago, it was medically assisted end of life. He didn't qualify and I told him I wouldn't have anything to do with helping him because I wouldn't risk a murder charge. He keeps threatening to move out of assisted living apartment into a motel because he can't afford his apartment. We know exactly how much money he has - plenty. Currently, he feels the end is near and he wants to see me one last time before he dies. One of the most important ways I take care of myself is to not have dad-generated stress in my life.

    • @lindac6919
      @lindac6919 5 месяцев назад +2

      Ever since I can remember my Dad told he me he "wasn't going to be around much longer."
      One day when he was 90-something he started in again, and I told him "Dad I don't believe you. Ever since I was five years old, you've been telling me that you're going to die tomorrow.
      Well, it hasn't happened yet, so I don't believe you anymore. I'm just as likely to die as you are, I'm out there everyday with traffic and buses and nutburgers and pollution and disease and cancer. YOU might be the one who goes to MY funeral tomorrow."
      See how much sympathy HE has for YOUR funeral.

  • @23wishesheather
    @23wishesheather 3 месяца назад +1

    You give the BEST descriptions! Super enlightening to finally feel like my thoughts on the narcissist in my life are valid. 💗

  • @iomoneyway
    @iomoneyway 4 месяца назад +7

    Didn’t know dealing with narcs was a thing or even this serious I hope we all get away from the bs and grow to be who we were meant to be. There’s so many normal people in this world don’t sweat it just rebuild yourself my heart

    • @yorubahunk
      @yorubahunk 4 месяца назад

      Keep quiet please

  • @wmbtech
    @wmbtech 4 месяца назад +2

    Thank you. I thought I was going crazy. 12 years suddenly forgotten and twisted into a fantasy novel where Im a villain, despite being the one searching for help and answers and being rejected and isolated. This video gave me a perspective I so dearly needed after losing myself and wondering who Ive become. The antidepressants have helped but this video did so much more. Sincerely, thank you.

  • @JamesNGames
    @JamesNGames 5 месяцев назад +48

    After a year and several months of no contact, my narcissistic mother, tugged at my empathetic heartstrings by informing me she needed stints due to arterial blockages. Unbeknownst to me, this was merely a ploy to draw me back in. There was no closure on anything; she seemed even meaner, more spiteful, and manipulative than ever.
    During her surgery, I visited her in her room as she recovered. At one point, she went to the bathroom and did something to one of the openings on her neck, causing a massive amount of blood to spill. I am convinced she did this to create a disturbing situation with the nurses and possibly accuse me of causing her distress. When she began her manipulative games again, I told her outright that if this behavior continued, I would leave. It's mind-blowing that she would go to such lengths.
    We had family visiting during this time, and she informed them about her stents, arranging for them to pick her up and drop her off, despite my offer to help. This created another uncomfortable situation. When I eventually took her home, we had to stop to get a cat from a friend. Just days after having stints put in and spending three days in the hospital, she asked for a cigarette, knowing I disapprove of her smoking. She started smoking, which of course made her feel unwell due to the recent surgery.
    The lengths these individuals will go to in order to cause harm are astounding. I am saddened that I believed she might have changed and that we could reconnect. It's crucial to stay away from such toxic people.

    • @CommonEgo
      @CommonEgo  5 месяцев назад +9

      It is astounding, and I'm sorry you had to go through that. Too many of us have to learn the hard way that some people will never change 🙏❤️

    • @JamesNGames
      @JamesNGames 5 месяцев назад +4

      @@CommonEgo Thank you for creating videos like this. They really help remind me to stay away from such toxic people.
      She hurt herself just to hurt me, making me worry she'd blame me for any bruises or injuries.
      The last time I went no contact with her, she punched me on the side of the neck while I was driving and told me she wished I had died as a baby. She wanted me to react badly, but instead, I got her into her own car and sent her home before things could escalate.
      I know she's been trying to make me look like the abuser, so I have to stay away. Family members have told me about the lies she's spreading. It's shocking how low some people can go. When my father passed away, she made sure I got nothing, taking all the money before she even told me.
      Thank you for the effort you put into these videos. After a few years of dealing with this mess, at least now I can see things for what they really are.

    • @Sariimura
      @Sariimura 5 месяцев назад +4

      Please take care 🫂

    • @lindac6919
      @lindac6919 5 месяцев назад +1

      She was using blood to deepen the trauma bond.

    • @privateprivate8366
      @privateprivate8366 5 месяцев назад +1

      Yep. Sounds worse than my mother. She called me on time, after I’d gone no contact, saying she didn’t feel well and at another time, to tell me my sister was angry with her.
      Both times, I took the advice of Little Shaman and asked if she’d like for me to dial 911 for her, because I was not coming. Both times, she didn’t want an ambulance or police there, since she’d long been in the midst of destroying her home.
      I also would not come, because I felt I’d established she was a covert narcissist, my sister was a malignant narcissist and this was likely to become a dangerous situation, for all involved. So, she didn’t get the “running to her house” effect, she might’ve been after.
      You really cannot help these people, without killing yourself.

  • @teresawilson7531
    @teresawilson7531 4 месяца назад +1

    This was very helpful. I like the statement "stand in your own integrity".

  • @GreenNails23
    @GreenNails23 5 месяцев назад +4

    Thank you! I recently ignored a bait attempt after going no contact. While it wasn’t easy, it was worth it! This information is so helpful. You hit all their tactics for those of us who might need reminding now and then. 🙏🙏🙏

  • @DreaminToo
    @DreaminToo 5 месяцев назад +1

    Everything you are saying is absolutely true!!! I'm living it all right now and it's been a rough road 😢 Please listen to every single word she says!!!

  • @MonkeyDLuffy45068
    @MonkeyDLuffy45068 4 месяца назад +11

    It’s all toxic, and you have to stand your ground, even convince the narcissist that what’s good for you both is that they move on to their next target. DITTO!

  • @deandrebit601
    @deandrebit601 4 месяца назад +1

    Please continue helping the one's who fell victim to these highly insecure actors and actresses, because your friends can't help, the church can't help, and a lot of other sources and resources are not set up or armed to deal with these types, and the after math can last forever IF you don't have the right information about these disordered types!! Thank you again Christina, you are giving us much detail and covering this topic very well, all my best to you..

  • @imranshaik2282
    @imranshaik2282 4 месяца назад +11

    It’s emotional control and they want you to emote exactly how they want you to
    Like feel happy now because I am doing these things you always wanted but was never given intentionally
    Feel guilty because I want you to
    Feel insecure because I want you to
    Feel sad and upset because I want you to
    They think you are just a toy who will emote as they tune the setting of the toy

  • @jonathanmarois9009
    @jonathanmarois9009 3 месяца назад +1

    I really like the words you use.
    You don't sugarcoat.

  • @marsonnemyers754
    @marsonnemyers754 5 месяцев назад +8

    Thank you….needed this reminder!

  • @aldaindorsey8212
    @aldaindorsey8212 4 месяца назад +1

    Thanks for the great advice. Staying no contact with a narcissist as we speak.

  • @Mushroom321-
    @Mushroom321- 5 месяцев назад +5

    YES,, WE DONT NEED TO DEFEEND !!🎉🎉😊

  • @cincyfanjunglecity9871
    @cincyfanjunglecity9871 5 месяцев назад +7

    Just listening to her talk about the narcissist makes me think back to everything I went through with my ex and I just cringe and grit my teeth. These people are very sickening. I’m not sure I can even watch all the way through the video it’s that sickening. I’m so glad I went no contact 4 months ago , and split up for about 6 months now.
    My comment is in no way negative towards the person doing this video , and I really appreciate the fact that she takes the time to educate others on these narcissistic psychopaths

    • @dennyfie
      @dennyfie 5 месяцев назад +1

      Heck 14 months for me was too much,I was literally dieing from stress, but she is gone now.

    • @cincyfanjunglecity9871
      @cincyfanjunglecity9871 5 месяцев назад

      @@dennyfie I know that feeling and I was about a year and a half in myself lol sounds like a prison sentence 😂

  • @samanthasimms5040
    @samanthasimms5040 5 месяцев назад +2

    I want to start telling my stories online. And I’ve started writing a book about my life with narcissists .
    I’m going to be their worst nightmare one way or another and it’s going to help other victims because I’m finally coming to it from a place of knowledge and empathy (with a dash of narrative correction😉)
    Thanks for your content because it’s great for the empowerment side of healing 🙌🏼💙

  • @miainsel513
    @miainsel513 5 месяцев назад +20

    Luckily for me, he made the mistake of moving to my hometown, right in the middle of my close-knit family who knows exactly who I am and now who he is.

    • @Ret2090
      @Ret2090 5 месяцев назад +2

      Same, but family bonds get dropped for sex. It’s really sad that family means nothing in comparison.

  • @LydiaKolbe-hd5ml
    @LydiaKolbe-hd5ml 5 месяцев назад +4

    Hi! What I ve listened and heard about narcissists for days on the Web I must say life is too short to play games with whom ever. If people have mental problems Don t accept lack of respect of any kinds. Dignity is the essence of an individual. Protect it! When you understand that person is playing with your feelings hurry to leave. Poison is their beloved mix in their mouth. Leave . Live your life and handle those people to God. Why would you low down yourself to avoid crisis from mental ill individuals? If you Don t leave may be you also have a problem. God guide you in discernment. From France. .

  • @upandadams9511
    @upandadams9511 3 месяца назад +3

    Officially went no contact with my mom and flying monkey sister. Wish I could rescue my step dad and disabled sister but I’ve got to love myself and put my own sweet family first.

  • @raskolnikov1461
    @raskolnikov1461 4 месяца назад

    Beautiful woman. Beautiful public service. Love your videos. Thank you so much ❤ Such peaceful and pleasant voice. Simply put together wisdom. Great as usual.

  • @jakerabinz9411
    @jakerabinz9411 5 месяцев назад +11

    The best way to scare off a narcissist probing you by criticizing you is to simply say: " Believe me , the last concern in my life is adjusting myself to make you happy." Narcissism like it's extreme revenge mode of psychopathy is all about finding the fear buttons to manipulate you with. When they see you are "hip to their tricks". That telks them you are smarter than them. And shatters deflates ( narcissistic injury) their overinflated ego. They either " ban you from their ranch" (delusional king/ queendom), or if malignant, you become a target of their revenge.. Ted Bundy is a classic example of a malignant narcisstic crossed over into homicidal psychopathy. After being jilted by a woman, he gained education enough to gain her acceptance of him. He then rejected her as revenge. And his victims thereafter were look a like proxies of her, which he then tortured and murdered. Read "The Stranger Beside Me" by Ann Rule for a first person account.

  • @duromusabc
    @duromusabc 5 месяцев назад +48

    I blocked the narcissist’s smartphone number (they can’t call, text or voicemail me) , email address and Facebook page back in April 2024
    Life has been peaceful since !

    • @artbygilik
      @artbygilik 5 месяцев назад

      I made the mistake of forgetting to block on WhatsApp and she spent me a Happy New Year message on there 😅 so random

    • @miraclesforus
      @miraclesforus 4 месяца назад

      You are lucky it didn't put you on porn and spam lists on your email addresses that you have had forever

    • @jeffdubridge5161
      @jeffdubridge5161 4 месяца назад

      Good job! I’ve done the same thing with my parents, brother, and an uncle.

    • @anthonycliftonjones2564
      @anthonycliftonjones2564 2 месяца назад

      Wait til you are harassed at work for not phoning your mother and have to tell your boss to mind their own business, wait til you hear that your mother has sold all your books stored at your parents and pocketed the money, wait til you have police turn up at your door because you have been labelled as a missing person.

    • @anthonycliftonjones2564
      @anthonycliftonjones2564 2 месяца назад

      Don't get me started on ex narc girlfriends

  • @josereyes1148
    @josereyes1148 5 месяцев назад +12

    Another thing the apology is is just a way to be "the bigger person". If you don't accept the apology then you are to blame and just holding grudges. They reframe it so that they were the ones trying to fix things and you just want to play the victim.
    You can never win. It's like trying to draw a picture and they just keep spinning the canvass and making it difficult to see things clearly.

    • @lindac6919
      @lindac6919 5 месяцев назад +2

      "Sure, I forgive you. And I don't want to be around you. If I had to be around you, then I couldn't manage to forgive you."

  • @hannakarpf4955
    @hannakarpf4955 2 месяца назад

    Christina, thank you so much for your articulate video! You definitely empower and equip us with knowledge!

  • @georyin872
    @georyin872 5 месяцев назад +18

    sure i will go no contact

    • @CommonEgo
      @CommonEgo  5 месяцев назад +7

      If you can, it's usually best for your own emotional wellbeing. Not everyone can manage no contact and that's okay. It's a personal decision 🙏❤️

    • @georyin872
      @georyin872 5 месяцев назад

      @@CommonEgo Sure I can. My wife was 54 when I found out she had sex with a man of 38 in 2022. Now She I just found out she had sex with a guy even younger in July 2024. I lost 40 lbs of weight last time. This time I don't feel that much sad. I will leave.

  • @CookieMonster-hm8hx
    @CookieMonster-hm8hx 5 месяцев назад +2

    I like the cat and mouse analogy - with the appearance of your cat below, showing how a narc can play the game so enticingly. They can be charming by communicating with flowery language, as a cover. That’s how they hide among us, by being so alluring despite their lack of substance. I’m not much of a social media person for that reason, but I appreciate this video precisely because you are the real deal.

    • @CommonEgo
      @CommonEgo  5 месяцев назад +2

      I didn’t know he was there until I was editing but it kinda worked out perfectly 🙏❤️

    • @CookieMonster-hm8hx
      @CookieMonster-hm8hx 5 месяцев назад

      @@CommonEgo Yes indeed😃

  • @1111spiritualone
    @1111spiritualone 5 месяцев назад +15

    Mine been silent 2 years and did a few subtle things that didn’t work (randomly showed up at a venue I was at and showing up a gym a friend was at to make it a point to speak to them to get back to me). I didn’t respond to either. I gave them the discard and went no contact for over 2 years. I reached out twice in the beginning because I wanted closure, but after I found out they cheated/monkey branched (they think I don’t know about because they were hiding it) They smeared my name online and to everyone. I never reached out again. I deleted/blocked and never looked back. I hope they continue to stay away. She is for the streets. I don’t watch there social media or speak to anyone they know. I focus on myself and my life.
    It’s good to hear that I wasn’t going crazy and others have experienced these same scenarios

  • @10ille99
    @10ille99 5 месяцев назад +1

    When i tell you this is soooo SCARILY on point?!?!?! Wowwwww!!

  • @mikepowell5094
    @mikepowell5094 5 месяцев назад +11

    If you can get an order of protection. No games unless they want jail.

    • @Chanelle247
      @Chanelle247 5 месяцев назад +1

      It depends on the jurisdiction. In mine, there needs to be a threat made before a TRO or EPO is granted by a judge.

    • @mikepowell5094
      @mikepowell5094 5 месяцев назад +2

      @Chanelle247 well yes I guess different circumstances. Mine did threaten my life. And I caught it on my cell 3 different times. Then broke order of protection. Went to jail after trying to get me arrested 9 seperate times. Karma is buitiful.

    • @mukesh.dhimar
      @mukesh.dhimar 5 месяцев назад

      Not unless it's a female narcissist. They will not get put in jail. If I did to her what she did to me, I would be put in jail and I'd expect the key to be thrown away.
      Women get away with so much abuse that it's actually maddening.

  • @SB001
    @SB001 5 месяцев назад

    Thank You so much for your insight, I watch lots of your videos over the last few days to get a grasp on what’s been going on with a woman I’ve been dating for a little over a month. Wow I feel like I’ve been duped nevertheless I appreciate the clarity you’ve given me as well as your audience.
    Now I can begin to heal from such a short lived but traumatic experience. You’re right about the effects it has on the brain, I feel on edge now so this will take time to recover.

  • @albertshinskiy
    @albertshinskiy 5 месяцев назад +173

    well constructed video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

    • @deboralaw-on9od
      @deboralaw-on9od 5 месяцев назад +2

      its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back

    • @albertshinskiy
      @albertshinskiy 5 месяцев назад +2

      Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

    • @deboralaw-on9od
      @deboralaw-on9od 5 месяцев назад +2

      Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

    • @albertshinskiy
      @albertshinskiy 5 месяцев назад

      Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

    • @ericriggins6303
      @ericriggins6303 5 месяцев назад

      How do I find spiritual counselor

  • @matthew21.44
    @matthew21.44 5 месяцев назад

    My favorite! Spot on! Thank you for this video. This is so helpful for me to keep up the good no contact work!

  • @JuanRodriguez-qr3yq
    @JuanRodriguez-qr3yq 5 месяцев назад +3

    Emotional blackmail, thank you

  • @stevensgirl85
    @stevensgirl85 Месяц назад +2

    I'll never chase a narcissist. Let alone anyone. I treasure my peace.

  • @Frederiekje221
    @Frederiekje221 4 месяца назад +3

    a life saver for me was, to ask a trusted friend to be intermediate for any communication that was absolutely neccesary - paper administrative mail only. Because I knew essential information would reach me, filtered through the friend, I could block ALL, and I mean ALL other direct communication channels.

  • @tinboataddict2406
    @tinboataddict2406 4 месяца назад

    I just stumbled upon this lady here. Wow. She really does nail it. Great job, and thank you.

  • @Lovexychrome1
    @Lovexychrome1 5 месяцев назад +8

    It makes me sad my narc mother makes me look so crazy and like some crazy loser in front of ANYONE. I mean ANYONE . I haven’t spoke in half a year and not planning on coming back

  • @smokeyarmstrong8292
    @smokeyarmstrong8292 Месяц назад

    Just listened to the “Charm” section - how true! She came back calling me pet names she handy used in months, sent provocative pics like she hadn’t done in months, and showed affection that she hadn’t shown in months. As soon as I responded as she wanted, back the same miserable relationship.

  • @myem0459
    @myem0459 5 месяцев назад +8

    Here’s a few things my narc ex has done since he SUDDENLY left me for one of his exs, again 😒
    1. Took girlfriend to the Treehouse Getaway that I had wanted to do for years (He could never bear to take time from work)
    2. Started taking more time off of work to be with his new girlfriend (I begged him to take more time off but nooo)
    3. Told everyone that I financially ruined him with credit cards that I DIDNT EVEN KNOW ABOUT (Guess romancing a side chick is expensive)
    These are just a few of the things. There are many more

    • @lindac6919
      @lindac6919 5 месяцев назад +3

      My Ex husband was similar. But the credit card part came later.
      Fast forward six years...he has married his new gf (a girl from my HS graduating class with my same first name) and she made 3 attempts to do herself in. She ran away to a different state capitol each time and he had to go retrieve her and commit her for a while each time.
      She divorces him and runs and runs his credit cards and store credits.
      I know about it because she had the same married name as me, since she had the same first and middle names. It messed with MY credit for a while, but mostly I was amused at getting calls and learning how much freaking debt Narky Ex was on the hook for.

    • @empress9857
      @empress9857 3 месяца назад

      Stand your ground DONT say a word to him don’t respond to his attempt don’t mention to him or anyone that can tell him that he you doing xyz it will make there day and yes he lying on you saying your crazy can’t leave him alone to the new supply all to make her think he is something all lies please do things to make you happy that’s where I’m at now okay

  • @dassanghamitra
    @dassanghamitra 5 месяцев назад +1

    You are so so right about stealing my wishlist..

  • @josereyes1148
    @josereyes1148 5 месяцев назад +6

    After our friendship ending blowup he called me sad and crazy like he always does. Then back to like nothing happened the next few days. He then slowly admitted to pieces of it. He wanted to get back to normal with admitting as little as possible. When that did t work he admitted to everything and gave the "he can be better speech" like he has 10 times. He admitted to everything after just calling me crazy for what I was saying. Didn't work this time and I think getting past this stage clearly shows how manipulative he is. I think he was confused because everything normally goes back to normal after this phase.
    From there, he pretended nothing happened. From there he tried to bring up inside jokes and tell me I'm the only one who would get it. From there another "come to Jesus " speech. From there a speech trying to get me to feel sorry for him. Back to pretending nothing happened. Then he told me he was moving into my apartment. I think he was trying to trigger me/ knew it would get some type of response from me. I took the bait and he called me a narcissist for trying to control where he lives. He then backtracked on everything he apologized for. Now he just "casually " leaving me messages late at night on my Facebook account. It's very clear he is just poking around trying different tactics while admitting to as little as possible. These people don't change. They only care about what they are missing with their supply.

    • @ak-47intelligence75
      @ak-47intelligence75 5 месяцев назад +1

      Maybe you should just leave him alone.
      Drink some water, touch grass, breathe or pluck some flowers .
      Let him find a new target to play these games with. You're out.

    • @josereyes1148
      @josereyes1148 5 месяцев назад

      @@ak-47intelligence75 That's a bit of a jackass response. We're just sharing stories here man. I have left him alone.

  • @michelegauthier2914
    @michelegauthier2914 4 месяца назад

    This is exactly what I needed as advice right now. Thank you

  • @pamagujar183
    @pamagujar183 5 месяцев назад +3

    Thanks for your words of wisdom❤❤

  • @IzabelaWaniek-i1x
    @IzabelaWaniek-i1x 5 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you for brilliant advice.

  • @katrinam7432
    @katrinam7432 5 месяцев назад +1

    Oooh helpful. I had a friend with narc traits that I withdrew from. They showed up one day where I was and it was uncomfy. I have recently distanced myself from another friend (tis the season) and I communicated in a group chat I wasn’t going to do group catch-ups at the moment. This person reached out to another in the group asking ‘what’s wrong with her (me)’. So it could be they were trying to paint me in an unfavourable light (e.g. unstable, irrational) or present themselves as a victim. They’ve since tried to play on my empathy and guilt (‘my life is a disaster’ without giving me any details and ‘my young daughter has been asking about you’).

  • @olandamarold6327
    @olandamarold6327 4 месяца назад +7

    My ex after months thought I would come back. I'm like no.

  • @jonathanburnett8891
    @jonathanburnett8891 5 месяцев назад +13

    I have 4 daughters 7,3,2,9m she blocked me from all communication with my girls. So instead of going insane I just went and got a 2nd job and in the gym crazy. But fuck Me running I sure do miss my girls so much. She’s been doing the smear campaign for 14 years so honestly, now that everything is coming to a close, the only people behind her are the ones on social media that don’t exist. So when any outburst happen I can’t resist but laugh because all I see is an adult child that got deep rooted issues, but think everyone else is the problem

    • @herelieskittythomas3726
      @herelieskittythomas3726 5 месяцев назад +2

      Delete social media, go completely dark. Tell no one your plans. Slowly gathering evidence the entire time. Use the court system and a mediator appointed by the courts. Absolutely most importantly NEVER let anyone hear you speak bad about the mother, don't even mention the word Narcissist. Use the courts and family law to gain access to your children. Stay off of social media so she never knows your next move, you have rights. Father's matter!!!!!!

    • @herelieskittythomas3726
      @herelieskittythomas3726 5 месяцев назад

      I'd schedule an appointment for a vasectomy too.

    • @RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql
      @RaptureReadyforJesus-qv2ql 5 месяцев назад

      The x took my children to another state and he got custody. I did not see them for over 20 years. They now went no contact with their dad.

    • @scovyaporsha
      @scovyaporsha 5 месяцев назад

      ​@@herelieskittythomas3726 Beautiful Advice ❤

  • @HopeFaithExpect77
    @HopeFaithExpect77 3 месяца назад +1

    Your voice is calming ❤