11 COWARDLY Tactics Of The COVERT NARCISSIST
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- Опубликовано: 16 июн 2024
- The video reveals 11 subtle strategies used by these individuals to manipulate and create pain, often driven by a deep-rooted fear of exposure. The video discusses common characteristics like gossiping, holding different public and private personas, gaslighting, and more. It includes numerous audience comments and personal stories to shed light on these behaviors. The host, Kristina, a narcissistic abuse recovery coach, provides insights into these tactics and offers a link for one-on-one coaching to help individuals cope.
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00:00 Introduction to Covert Narcissism
00:23 The Cowardly Tactics of Covert Narcissists
00:39 Cowardice Behind Gossip and Smear Campaigns
02:28 The Duality of Public and Private Personas
04:41 The Art of Indirect Insults
06:01 A Little Levity 😊
06:24 The Role of Social Media in Narcissistic Manipulation
08:00 Gaslighting: A Cowardly Manipulation Tactic
09:16 The Power of Interruption and Speaking Over
10:19 Lashing Out In Cowardice
12:12 The Dangers of Reactive Abuse
13:25 Reactive Abuse Story Time (Can You Relate?)
15:12 No, You're Not Overreacting
16:05 Pretending You Don't Exist
17:55 Using Others as Pawns: A Cowardly Tactic
19:25 The Silent Treatment: A Passive Aggressive Behavior
20:18 Conclusion: Seeing Through the Covert Narcissist's Tactics
How does a narcissist screw in a light bulb?
They hold it up and wait for the world to revolve around them.
...While the narcissist screws everyone else around them!
Good one!! ❤😂
😂 that's funny
🤣🤣🤣
I was running around, preparing for a party once. My ex asked if I needed help with anything, which seemed like a nice surprise since normally he would just walk around behind me and move around things I had already done. I said, yes! I actually do! The lightbulb in the outdoor light is out. Can you grab one and change it for me? That would help me so much! He looked at me and blinked several times and said… I don’t know how to do that. I thought he was joking. I said oh come on of course you do! And he blinked some more and said no, actually I don’t. And walked away. I was gob smacked.
@@r-l1214Good story-share! [Passive Aggressive narcissists who manipulate "words" to their advantage/benefit/gain & their EXCUSES -- just to get out of doing something! Tsk, tsk...]
They'll do you dirty, play the victim, then convince people it's you. Then they will wait for you to come apologize to them for their behavior.😅
Stypid infantiles...
SO TRUE. reactive abuse at its finest.
the old switch a roo trick.
Dad (the narcissist) tried to convince me that he is superior because he is male! I don't trust him, like, respect much less obey him(blindly or otherwise)! I am 60. His way or the highway. I don't ask for his opinion, he is nitpicky. He isolated me so he wouldn't be called out in his family(not all members) and tried to convince me that I have the problem. He doesn't care about my feelings(hardly). All he cares about is others' opinions, including strangers and some of his family members(brothers). He thinks he's superior without a reason. Pathetic! I complained, he said "Tough shit". Nasty jackass! This happened long before social media.
also known as a very toxic person. me personally, id cancel his ticket, and move on with your life. he can let others, and there opinions take care of him, put up with his bs.@@jackilynpyzocha662
Sometimes I felt like I was explaining basic things to a child. He used fake ignorance constantly. Such a cowardly way to get out of responsibilities.
Yes!!! I said "I'm not your mother" like it was like a mantra. At the time, it was so puzzling. He had a degree and a job, what's with the childlike questions? Looking back, I just feel nauseous that I fell for his manipulations.
Non-compliance as a weapon! That's one of the standard tools in the kit they all seem to have.
Agree100%
It's the narcissist's "weaponized incompetence" - feigning obliviousness is bliss: the entitled grandiose narcissist's easy way out of shirking accountability & evading mundane chores.
Sometimes I felt like I had to talk to a toddler now boys and girls. This is what we need to do today. Hold my hand before you cross the street, you know, mind-boggling.
These narcissist are freakin EVERYWHERE! Where the freak did they come from? What breeds these demons?
Apparently, it's what's evolving, into sneakier, more cunning, stealthy calculating ruthless individuating narcissists -- where many self-serving, albeit, more positive traits are especially rewarded by a fast-paced society: charm, status-conscious, laser-focused ambition, competitiveness, the driving force of "what's in it for me?" (WIIFM) mentality -- combined with their (at times, unavoidable) not-so-nice attributes, as noted in the "Psychopathy Checklist" (PCL-R) of likely 'Repeat Offenders".
society as a whole is very narcissistic, and is openly acceptable, embraced, by all. me me me me mine, and what i can take from you, pretty much rules the roost.
@@lilfairycupcake Yeah! Narcissism may manifest due to nature (DNA, inherited) &/or nurture [upbringing, trauma, abusive caregiver(s), Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)]. It's the WIIFM ego-centric mentality: "What's In It For Me?" -- individualistic, self-serving, competitive-driven instant-gratification materialistic markers that also are rewarded by a fast-paced society.
take karens for instance. there we none 20yrs ago. nothing more than another bi product of society. society says its totally ok to act like a 3yr old, and nothing will happen to you. no recourse = no need to practice self control.@@d0v3Tai1
Prof Sam Vaknin has a RUclips channel that explains the fascinating psychology behind these disorders.
Altruistic covert narcissists get terribly disappointed when they find that you're not as needy and helpless as they expected you to be and dont need their messiah complex kind of help.
Then they feel bad when you're successful without them and make a big display of telling you how happy they are for you and "how much better" you are now, which is an underhanded insult implying you were pathetic in their eyes 🙄
Yup 👍
Yup, And the 'christian' narc will "forgive you" for something that you didn't do..
This is so true. I’ve never needed my in my life for anything. I am truly beginning to know that’s what she hates the most about me. I’ve done so much better in life than she ever could , and she cannot stand it. Is it not sick , somewhat , to be jealous of your children?
Yes! Because they really believe you’re beneath them, but secretly get triggered when they find out you’re not
Ha ha I'm going through this right now.…..im
Currently getting the silent treatment as I've left working for him as well, as he thinks he had a hold over me.….3 weeks no contact and I'm already feeling so much better, I've takeon loads of cleaningwork and better off than I ever was with him…..i literally need him for nothing..:..and ive enrolled at university……
The discard is very cowardly. Then they avoid you and give the silent treatment. My divorce was final last Tuesday. New beginnings🙏🏾🙌🏾 I will never beg anyone again. Lesson learned. Loving me 🥰
Congrats! Mine was final two months ago. Never thought it would end. So glad to be out and healing!
@@brwnsgrgirl4379 🙏🏾🙌🏾🤍 My healing journey hasn't been easy. But well worth it. I'll be praying for you. 🥰
You deserve to be loved by someone real and authentic
Usually the silent treatment is because you have them cornered and it's another retarded form of emotional abuse because they know you have them cornered.
@brwns😊grgirl4379
💯Very immature individuals who does not deal with reality.
They are insecure, too!
He would make fun of me or put me down and try to say it’s a joke or constructive criticism. It’s very cowardly. Maniacal how covert it is.. 😢😢😢
Dad pulls this crap. He says I have the problem, that I have to go along with his agenda. I won't!
It's not funny, it is destructive.
One of the worst! 🤮 Was destroying my self esteem.
@@jackilynpyzocha662 Spot on! A telltale controlling egocentric (& blame-shifting) narcissistic trait: "It's MY WAY or the highway." or "You are either for me or against me." [All or Nothing, Black & white thinking, ]
"Jokes" and/or "constructive criticism" usually are not jokes or constructive.
I think the thing that actually floored me the most was I started to know that he had control of his behavior he could flip a switch and be one person or another so he absolutely could treat me right he doesn’t choose to
« Wow! He’s such a nice guy! » kills me.
Exactly - they know EXACTLY what they are doing.
Yeah, I remember realizing the person very well understands things I started thinking they just maybe don't understand. They do. But they are withholding. Horrible intimacy issues.
Yes, when you realize they knew all along what they were doing is an all new all singing all dancing aspect and one tends to be hit upside the head even harder than before. They knew they were hurting you. They knew. They knew how it was making you feel. They could've done things differently. They didn't. They deliberately hurt the one they "loved".
@@user-vq1ct3wm4y Yep! When narcissists 'hurt the one they love' -- it boosts their own ego.
It's a sick way to have to exist in the world -- by having to constantly one-up or compare, live in a headspace of perpetual envy, covetousness, never satisfied, & hatred of others...putting others down -- in order to regulate their perceived shortcomings & deficiencies.
Doing the same thing to a narcssist as they do to u is like unclogging a toilette with a grenade. U will clear the clog but get shit everywhere n nothing will b the same.
that has a lot to do w who you are. if you fear one, you are a bigger coward than they are.
Damn thats a pretty epic metaphor. Definetly paints a picture lol
Excellent analogy!!!
😂😂Damn man you got it right
The final discard was my choice. For the first time in 17 years I refused to apologize and beg for forgiveness for something I knew wasn’t my fault. I , for once, gave her the silent treatment and she lost her shit. Yelling and raging, demanding why I’m not “ fixing things “. I told her “ not this time”. Things got worse after that, however, I knew I was breaking free.
congrats to you. no contact is the only cure.
Congratulations!!!
good move. hope you are doing better. narcs are f**king pylons who are insecure bullies and cowards.
-cheers, steven
60 years, my dad is the narc, I'm beyond fed up with him! Dad pulled the same crap with me,I didn't buy it. I still don't!
At first I thought you weren’t repairing things around the house. But you mean not “fixing” the broken things in your relationship. Still wondering why you don’t do either.
“I can’t deal with this” was a common one whenever I called him out on his BS. He would then turn off his online status and disappear, knowing full well that this would hurt me 🫥 Such a massive coward.
@@robbiecarlos4537 Always the victim! It’s so frustrating and impossible to get any kind of conflict resolution or closure from them.
@@krystalMtn It’s so true, they never allow you to have any clarity or peace of mind. The only way to obtain that is to go completely NC and never look back. 🔥
I mean, I did that to my Narcissistic ex sometimes because it was constant fighting and I really couldnt handle it
"I'm done torturing myself with this"
When he said he would change his behaviour, and I kept bringing up that he is still doing the same things etc
@@jordansharp7081 They really are all the same. Always the victim and we’re being soooo unreasonable expecting them to uphold their empty promises!
There were a lot of times in my 11 years with my ex-wife, I couldn't find things i needed. She would find them almost right away. Every time she found them for me, she would say the same thing, "What would you do without me?" I believed it for years. The interesting thing is that since we've split up, my things don't go missing anymore. I finally figured out she was hiding my things and then finding them.
You deserve a better ex-wife, I deserve a better father!
😂😅
When I was with my narcissist he wouldn't let me cook. He controlled my food, how much i could have and what I could have. I wasn't allowed dessert, I never had a bday cake for 7 yrs. He would invite people to dinner and wouldn't let me help and would then put me down by telling everyone he always has to do the cooking and I never help him. He wouldn't let me cook for my adult children. My son said he missed my roast dinners, my daughter missed my cauliflower cheese. He took my dinner plate away one day infront of our guests and said "I think you've had enough" before I had finished my dinner. When he wouldn't let me have dessert and we had guests and they said something he would say "i'm only joking" but he would then dish up a tiny portion of dessert for me. I wasn't allowed alcohol and yet he drinks every day. Occassionally he would say "would you like a glass of wine? You can have one if you like" im so enjoying life now he isnt around. It was my bday on Monday and I had 3 bday cakes because I bought one and my friend bought me one as she knew I hadn't been allowed one for so many yrs.
That should say 2 bday cakes. I didnt have 3 🤣 but i wouldnt have said no to 3
@@louk5092I was Ike... Yo where'd the third cake come from? ❤❤❤
Covert narcissists interrupt not to shut you up, but to keep you from completing a logical thread. They are trying to keep you from realizing something by redirecting your line of thought.
My ex would tell me that it was how I would react that kept her from being honest to begin with, that she had only lied and had been deceptive since she knew I would react badly. (my reaction was being upset).
Yes 🙌
Omg this. Will force an interaction that I don't want and then when I respond with reason they'll go "sorry I was listening to the bird outside" "the lady behind the house is in her yard I can hear her" "was that a door closing" "I think your aunt is in her office or just went to the toilet" with a straight deadpan look on their face as if all of a sudden all their immaturity/callous had left and been replaced with them showing acknowledgement or some kind of sensibility.
Exacamundo! Chopping logical threads
Sounds like she had to walk on eggshells around you to avoid upsetting you out of fear of your reaction
How do you conclude this from what I said?@@Uvvibes
The more confused you feel the more likely you're dealing with one. That confusion is not love, you're not soul mates, twin flames, nothing like that. Politely get out. 'Sorry I'm very busy at the moment'. Be vague
Oh, the confusion...Stuck in the cognitive dissonance of: narcissistic abuse!
Wow, what a great comment this is! Thank you. 🙏
Yep, be vague because they sure will be. Sowing confusion and self-doubt is a favorite tactic.
@@user-vq1ct3wm4y Totally! Especially when you ask narcissists any questions. Narcissists dodge, play whack-a-mole, deflect, are calculatingly VAGUE, act irritated/annoyed/angry, change the subject, full of mind games, like some slippery snake (that they are!) -- because narcs want to maintain their sense of power, control, domination, drama, trauma, chaos, & destruction (of unsuspecting others). So, give narcs a taste of their own medicine!
Such a true statement.
I am finally understanding what reactive abuse is! I thought it was me abusing them with my reaction, but it is exactly the opposite. They are abusing me using my own reaction! This is critical for me to get this. I had to apologize or be punished for my ethical reaction to something abusive. Me complaining and standing up for myself with someone who is not considering me and my rights is warranted , not abusive to them but it takes the awareness of what they are doing to me away from everyone but themselves, which they enjoy! Thank you very much; I am glad I am a member.
💯
They are experts at trying to get you to apologize for their abuse and behavior. Last I checked HELLLLLL NOOOOOO
Mine would leave me standing outside the car while he took his time buckling his seatbelt and settling in. When I'd finally knock on the window, he'd scold me for being impatient and claim that he just forgot and it was just this one time. So I would stand outside the car in all weather, often holding bags from a store because he didn't carry bags, not sure whether he forgot again or whether it was still too soon to knock on the window and show myself to be a spoiled diva. Why didn't he carry bags? He needed his hands free to open the car door. Expecting him to carry something at such a crucial moment was just another eample of how selfish and self-involved I was.
So many examples of this type of thing. Like being in a sleet storm - constant little stings from all directions.They keep you too distracted to make decisions on your relationship because you're always trying to become a better servant/spouse while apologizing for your own apparently "obvious to everyone else" shortcomings. I feel like I spent the marriage begging for forgiveness while also begging him to particpate fully in the relationship. Those days are done. And I assure you, I will never grovel again. I love myself too much now to put up with it, and that is something I lacked during my marriage.
Sleet storm analogy is spoton! As an Aussie i have always thought of it as a mozzie (mosquito) attack, sleet storm is accurate..Thankyou.
Oh, I love your mosquito comparison. That's a good one - since they're using us for ego sustenance. @@ninamarkovic4853
When mentioning anything to the narcissist, the narcissist will accuse you & say: "What's your problem? You're so obsessed!" [Even though the narcissist IS the problem! When the narcissist "forgets" to lock the front door at night, leaves all the lights on prior to going to bed, "neglects" & "abandons" their over-bought fresh produce sitting & rotting in the fridge because they're too lazy to prepare & consume them accordingly, when they leave a a huge mess in the kitchen because they're too lazy & entitled to clean up after themselves, etc.]
Mine had a habit of leaving me in the car with the windows rolled up on hot days, taking the keys with him and running into the store or gas station. I would have to open the door to cool off and wait. He did this constantly. I'm fairly sure he enjoyed torturing me this way as well as other little ways. If I called him out on it, he'd say he didn't realize it was a problem.
You deserve better!
Amazes how cowardly some ‘humans’ can be.
Had a very short term relationship with presumably a covert narcissist. Apparently he talked bad about me behind my back, tried to use a mutual friend to get me back after telling him not to contact me, didn’t communicate his sexual needs while also withholding sex, and tried to gaslight me and run away after I tried to hold him accountable to his own words and standards. Absolutely pathetic.
I wonder about guys like this - not for nothing, are they gay? I have nothing against gay guys except when they try to pass themselves off as straight - that I have a problem with.
Exactly the same experience. The running away bit just hit home now - every time I tried to make him accountable, he would try to pack his bag and leave. Then I felt guilty and tried to stop him, but he didn't mean it. Withholding sex too, calling me demanding, I'm not a robot, he said, while addicted to pornography. Finally left him for good, no contact but need to heal myself.
SOME bahaha
Some hide it better than others, but their mental instability surfaces under duress, when little to nothing they say makes sense, i.e. incongruence in their thoughts coming out in words. I have experienced this with more than one narcissistic person.
Id completely agree, seen it many times and they get worse with age
👍
Exactly! The most dangerous moment: When things don't go the narcissist's way, they literally lose it, a blow to their ego (narcissistic injury), the narcissist's dreaded fear of exposure/humiliation/shame, when their world comes crashing down, NARCISSISTIC RAGE, reveal their "low tolerance for frustration", make lots of mistakes, make lethal threats, (in extreme cases) may even deliberately destroy things &/or people in the process.
@@d0v3Tai1 Been there. Witnessed that.
My Ex always did the gaslighting crazy making thing to me. I found out a way to stop him was admit to being crazy and that I needed help. I told him I had to go to the clinic and talk to the therapist. Then I told him I needed him to come with me and tell them what I did or said that was insane because I was to burnt out to do it.
Surprise surprise! Guess who wanted no part of that. He would slam the bedroom door and resort to name calling. People like this never want to work anything out. Its all smoke and mirrors.
That was risky..lots of wives have ended up in mental hospitals as a way to discard them. Slippery slope to label yourself crazy to the world( government/ legal/ medical ) when your not crazy
I'm so glad I never married a narc! I'm related to one(Dad). That's bad enough!
It's because they are jealous and hate you. So any time they believe you are superior to them in even the smallest way. They literally want to injure or kill you.
Deeperdown they know they are lacking and are paper thin. Having no substance. But they just cannot allow this to be accepted. To do so would then nessesitate them embodying the role of a loser. And they are much too afraid to allow this. They know there whole personality is paper thin. But it's like a suit of armor they feel they need because facing they aren't really shit would break them.
They cause so much pain to others. But really they are terrified, underdeveloped coward children. Just remember that any time they upset you. Try to feel pitty for them instead of sadness or anger. Because if you yourself were not doing awesome, they would never start shit with you to begin with. A narcissist messing with you is only a sign you are winning at being great.
6:32 pause- a year ago I was in court defending a DV charge and potential removal from my home. After presenting recorded evidence of HER being physically abusive to me, (and the judge believing me) she told the world I “fooled the judge”🤦♂️. FFWD to today and she’s posting how she “finally moved out of her abusive household and is thankful for her BF (new supply) helping her through her hard times”. So glad the judge saw through her BS. Thank you for your videos. 🤜🤛
Recording devices are the narcissists worst enemies, and God bless on your riddance.
They have no shame. I am just not sure that they can even recognize their actions as being a problem.
I have a DV court date coming up Feb 22nd. I am hoping the judge sees through my abusive ex’s lies. He has told so many lies and they are so ridiculous. Fingers crossed I can be done with this part of it too. Hugs to you 💜
@@nerifterafrnam4682 Narcissists = "can't handle the truth!"
@@krystalMtn "Selective" actions & inactions: reveal that narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, ne'er-do-wells, & criminals KNOW exactly what they're doing.
My wife does that with my daughter all the time. My daughter is very much an empath like me, so instead of me talking bad about my CNarc wife I will send her videos like this one for she can learn what her mother is actually like. I just realized about 1.5 years ago who my wife is after 27 years of marriage and she knows I will not leave because of my daughter. Dang near lost who I was and it is so hard to rebuild myself and heal from it while still married to her. My wife does countless campaigns against me and I have lost all my family because of that and all my friends. Many times I feel completely utterly alone and like no one understands. Needless to say your videos and others have helped me greatly and I am seeing things how they are. There are times I just can not believe that my wife is doing this on purpose or if she just doesnt realize she is. It is super hard to come back from having my entire beinging utterly destroyed and not even believing in myself thinking I was the crazy one. Its even harder cause all i want to do is give her the benifit of the dought and shower her with love and affection. I litterly have to get upset and mad about things to understand that she is the one doing it and its not me. I have even gotten to the point were I can not even find enjoyment in anything I liked to do or want to do. I really do not want to even do anything anymore and find it super hard to enjoy anything for very long. So thank you for putting out these videos, they really do help. I have to go back and watch these kinds of videos alot cause I find myself getting drawn back in and they help remind me that it is her and not me. I am just so tired most of the time.
You will never really know them. They hate giving you personal information about themselves.
Their way or the highway!
On the contrary many adeptly play the ultimate victim with the saddest back stories of great detail!
They will if they can use it as one of their manipulation tactics. Desperate to control and dominate others.
@@Prawnstar. True! ...glib shape-shifting narcissists calculatingly do &/or say whatever particular set of manipulative mind games in their Playbook & Toolkit benefit themselves.
@@d0v3Tai1 Agreed! The victim card is powerful for those of us who like to rescue!
A narcissist can NEVER screw in a lightbulb..They stand there and wait for the world to revolve around them.😅
Spot on! Describes the entitled lofty condescending narcissist, feels a sense of superiority over the masses, expecting special treatment & servitude from others to do their bidding.
They get upset when the world doesn't revolve around them!!
I had proof of my narc wife cheating and she still denied it and gaslighted me. Made herself out to be the victim and smeared me. SMH
I had a boss who was passive-aggressive . If she was annoyed at you for something, she wouldn't tell you. In the morning, when all the staff was gathered around, she would deliberately say good morning by name to everyone except the person she was annoyed at by leaving their name out. When she wasn't annoyed, she would bring us coffee and give us gift cards.
When other people don't get the 'other', behind closed doors version they absolutely will not believe YOU what that person is really like and you end up looking like the bad person who is trying to disparage THEM. That is the genius way the narcissist sets you up to never win, and there's also absolutely nothing you can do about that.
Document the shady narcissist's every move! Truth = is every slimy narcissist's kryptonite.
["The Disorder of Hiding"] Sneaky calculating narcissists are highly selective in who they target & who they charm -- especially when isolated & alone, with NO WITNESSES! So, avoid being ALONE with any narcissist!
She was a wolf in sheep skin. INSIDIOUS
Heck yes! Snake!
Extremely, and charming. While being nice to you seemingly, plotting behind your back to be cruel and mean.
Well I'm more of a sloth in koala skin. Hungry, lazy, sleepy and non intimidating.
@@tad1111 The Dr. Jekyll-Mr. Hyde "Great Pretender"!.
I was the scapegoat in a highly abusive narcissistic family. I now realize everyone in the family is a narcissist (not just my covert narcissist father). They have smeared me all my life and I would say somewhat successfully as my father (recently deceased) and brother had the credibility by virtue of the fact that they were/are successful doctors. Very relatable video!
I had to face the same reality a couple of months ago. Cult of personality disorders taking turns wreaking havoc on my emotions, self esteem, relationships, finances… no contact was the best decision I ever made, I’m just now slowly starting to heal
Yes the same here. I was bemused by only having an two covert narcissists and one outward one to relate my feelings to as a child. I am not the same as them luckily. Nothing has changed except now I am an adult I have learnt how to cope with them.its an extreme wake-up call when the people you trusted as a child weren't to be trusted. I am a strong person who doesn't put up with much bs these days. Yet when you are vulnerable through some situation or other they will still put the boot 👢 in.
Yes! Scapegoat here as well. My family is well known in my town. It’s so dusgusting , but I have plenty people who truly know and love me.
I can’t believe how many doctors out there are narcissistic… and people tell me I’m paranoid for not trusting them 🙅🏼♀️ That sounds awful by the way, I hope things are better for you now ❤️
@@ktwhimsy6946 your not paranoid. I'd say a 33% percent of the doctors I have seen r exactly as. you say. I've always thought of it as a superiority complex but narcissist is probably a better way of putting it.
Ignoring people is a big red flag!
My ex would perform all of these actions while claiming I was doing them. The ultimate gaslighting move.
Yeah! The narcissist's projection, blame-shift, & DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender status). [Narcissists eternally PROTECT themselves - making it ALWAYS someone or something else's fault!]
& Projection. Blame Game. DARVO (Deny Attack Reverse Victim-Offender status). Shows just how unimaginative narcissists are -- that they have to accuse others of exactly what THEY are doing.
Mine would interrupt me. I’d pause due to being in the habit of waiting when someone starts talking. Then when I’d start talking again (I’d jump back in because it was still my turn) he’d get SO mad, saying _you’ve gotta stop interrupting me!_
Amen.
Like the "Lombard Effect", self-absorbed "Conversational Narcissists" tend to hog the conversation, feel self-righteous & correct (even when they are clearly wrong), that turns into the narcissist's monologue, argumentative, feel the need to "win" every argument, counters everything you say (in order to quash your soul, to boost their own fragile ego), speaking louder, faster, even towering & dominating over you to get all their points across -- such that you can't get a word in edgewise.
Another thing I heard quite often when I was sharing my opinion was him saying this. _You may not realize this, but you are very disagreeable and always seem to be the contrarian just to disagree with me constantly (which makes ME look/feel bad was his point)._ Which wasn’t true. We agreed on about 80% of things but of course he’s not going to remember that.
@@d0v3Tai1 indeed.
@@TurtleTimeVoiceOvers Yeah! The narcissist's selective memory. It's disgusting when a narcissist says: "I never said that."
That happened to me. Friend had a dinner party. She got everyone nice wine glasses. Forgot mine and when realised got me a chipped tea mug. ?? I just woke up and gradually saw more stuff and ditched her. X
The narcissist's passive aggressive (anger move) of: "forgot", "accidental" yet potentially harmful/lethal circumstance, "inadvertent omission", "highly believable convincing plausible deniable evolving excuses", rationalizations, justifications, calculatingly well-timed switcharoo, etc.
My ex literally lived by the whole "my post wasn't about you, but if the shoe fits....." line
I'm trying to divorce this coward currently after 12 years. The entire thing is a nightmare
Why were you attracted to that?
@@samusaran7317 why would you ask such an ignorant question
@@samusaran7317 The "Bait & Switch" is what certain calculating narcissistic types engage in, much like a run-of-the-mill Con Artist, of the same ilk.
It's how these "wolf in sheep's clothing" types roll. It's how charming charismatic love-bombing "oh sooo (seemingly) nice" covert narcissists (fakers) reel you in. Otherwise, you would never have gotten entangled with these snakes, in the first place, had you known their true colors & true malevolent intent.
It's not until their "false Mask" slips, when it's far too late, that you realize you're ensnared in something: you never thought you signed up for, to be: used & abused.
My dad is my narc; I can't divorce him, but I am ignoring him! (I blocked his number on my phone, for my own protection)! He's given me nearly 58 of my 60 years of life, b.s.! I'm his scapegoat(thankless role). He gave me no choice. I can ignore him; his loss of naricisstic supply. Not my problem. Never was, never will be!
@@jackilynpyzocha662 blocking 🚫 is healthy for us. I've done the same months ago
They ask you a question, you go to answer more than yes or no; they respond with all you have to say is ________. Tell you something l, you go to respond, and they pretend you don't exist, talk over you etc, etc, etc. and talk behind your back.
Been there got rid of them after 30yrs of crazy toxsic backstabbing.
60 years, Dad is my narc. It's toxic, I deserve a better father! He tanks!!
That's how they get away with their abuse for as long as they do - they aren't congruent - they have many faces. That and other people probably have a very surface relationship with them so they don't have the same experiences you do. The trash talking behind the scenes is a given and the only way you're ever going to find out is when you meet other friends of the narc who treat you badly - and they don't even know you! Or the snide remarks at your expense in front others.
My narc dad is a bully as well. He's pathetic!
My ex never took the blame for anything. It was ALWAYS someone else's fault. He always made me feel like I wasn’t good enough, no matter how hard I'd try. I'm so glad that he's in the past!!
Dad still pulls this crap. I don't buy it! I blocked his phone number; happiness for me!
I’m struggling mentally to get over my either BPD or covert narcissistic situationship. Was seeing a girl for 6 months and she was so sweet at the start, long story short I’ve been called weak, told she doesn’t respect me, verbally abuses me over nothing and blames me for everything. I reacted badly yesterday to her abusing me and told her to never talk to me again, get out of my house etc. It’s been so back and forth and the constant change of mind, changing dynamic and saying she wants to be only friends to then coming back and having sex has ruined me mentally and increased my already overbearing anxiety. Feel on the brink of a mental breakdown and it’s so emotionally tiring. These people are to be avoided at all costs
@@davechamplin5150 yeah dude it’s one of the toughest situations to be in mentally and emotionally because you have so much care and love for a person and you end up feeling like you’re the problem due to their behaviour. There’s only so much abuse you can take and I’m the same man, the amount of instability, constant change in mood and decisions and the overall experience is one that fucks you up. I haven’t spoken to her in 2 days now and I’m still feeling guilty about how things went down but I feel like I could only take so much and be strong before imploding. She uses sex and her looks to bring me back in but I need to stay strong and not let it happen anymore. Hopefully you can get out of your situation because the deeper and longer it goes on the stronger the trauma bond and the harder it is to break free. Lesson definitely learnt to not let amazing sex and looks allow me to ignore significant red flags.
You gotta bail big homie.
@@jamespeddell4784 Beware the repeated 'hoovers' & the lure of her allure to entrap your vulnerable EMOTIONS into the "push-pull" dynamic of the highly addictive "unpredictable slot-machine effect' of the "trauma bond" - as another notes. ...Particularly the "hobosexual" parasitic exploitative type whose ulterior motive is to exchange their seductive wiles, for a place to: live, eat, enjoy up-leveled hedonistic pleasures (at your expense) & survive.
@@jamespeddell4784Tap on a clip to paste it in the text box.
I can take other narcissist, but finding out my mom is....that broke my heart. Now I can't look at her. I just found out over the last month.
That TV trick was a real putdown. Also I'd pause a show to do something, or to show something to my partner. He'd come home, and without speaking to me, change to channel or turn the TV off. Just like that, what I was saving was gone! It was so inconsiderate.
@@krystalMtn The narcissist's passive aggressive (hidden anger) retaliatory maneuver, then explaining it away through "plausible deniable excuses". So sinister & insidious (& probably accompanied by the narcissist's fraction-of-a-second SMIRK of devious satisfaction)!
I’m so glad you shared that story about invisibility and watching TV. My ex-husband did almost the same thing. He did not shut off the TV or the lights, but he would get up and walk away and I would think he was going to the bathroom so I would pause the show that we enjoyed watching together. But then I would be sitting there waiting and waiting for him to come back from the bathroom, until suddenly, I realized he had gone to bed. He had the TV on in the bedroom and was already in the bed. There was no good night. There was no I’m going to bed. Just walk away. New line so again thank you for sharing that exact story. It makes me feel so much better now.
One of my biggest disappointments in life has been the realization that many people think and act the same way they did in high school. But the greatest disappointment is the fact that they can always rally the masses to join in on their duplicitist bully tactics.
Narcissists are unlikely to change, tend to get worse over time. The bully narcissist's need for enablers, flying monkeys, & co-opted gang-stalkers & like-minded harassers only further solidifies the narcissist's deep cowardice, fragility, & insecurity.
Dead silence/non-reaction scares narcissists, haters, people who don't respect your boundaries, and people who are jealous/envious of you.
Jealousy can mean a lot of things: rumors, competition, lies. They look down on you. They don’t miss any detail of how you are dressed or how you act, etc. They are always hanging on what others are doing or saying. They are often critical and judgmental. They often reveal things to others. They never have enough of anything; they are never satisfied. They always believe that other people are more fortunate and get everything.
Often they are not creative. In fact, it is common for them to copy others. And they are happy when others fail. There will always be jealous people around you. You will come across them in your friend groups, in your workplace, in your neighborhood, and even in your family. Don’t let yourself be susceptible to this negativity, nor let it bring you down.
True! Have experienced & observed these types of envious narcissists, full of: hatred, copycat, covetousness, constantly comparing, nosy, competitive, one-upmanship, desire to feel special superior & unique.
In junior high school, a girl exhibited this very envious narcissistic trait along with being manipulatively duplicitous with words, status-conscious, & saying this whenever any pretty woman or girl would walk by: "I HATE her!"
Finally out of my covert relationship. One of the last things he said to me was "didn't you say that all your ex'es went on to live happy lives without you?"
The jerkwad!
He gaslighted me by doing something totally cruel. I started crying. Instead of consoling me, he decided to suddenly give me the option to fly home early!!!! My stomach totally fell out.
Beware: Narcissists have been known to do that in a moving vehicle, too -- if they can't take the truth, or a topic they can't accept nor agree with, or find painful...out of nowhere: they'll (unexpectedly) dump you off, like you were last week's trash. Some victims literally have been abandoned in the middle of nowhere (unsafe, even at night) or been driven back all the way home (for the narcissist, hyper-sensitive to criticism, to get rid of them).
I wouldn't have gone there to begin with. Easier said than done. These narcs think they are in charge: what a lie!
HeLthy response..."I am not responsible for managing your emotions or rage. I am responsible for my own emotions. Period. I am going tonnage the time to take care of myself right now. Perhaps we can regroup in a few hours, if you are in a place where you can be mutually respectful, even when you are upset."
“You’re too sensitive” or “It’s petty”….yeah, until it happens to _them_ 🙄😆 Double standards.
Narcissists: Hypocrites. Projection. Blame Game. Blame-Shifter. Victim Blamers. Gaslighters. Narcissistic Abuse.
my wife of 42 years and super Narc . I was also her health care partner ... My confusions is beyond !!!
You perfectly articulated what my soon to be divorced wife was doing to me before we separated. She is Iranian, and the thing to note is, that these kind of tactics are commonplace in Iranian social interactions.
Your channel has made me understand. I can relate to every single word clear down to the light and the kids. Not only my husband of almost 40 years but my mom too. I have spent my whole life crying and feeling worthless and a few years ago dudnt even want to be here. Thank You for showing me it's not me and I'm not alone. I always just keep my mouth shut to people cuz I don't want to be a complainer or burden people with my problems so this is channel has been very healing to to me.
Same. Almost 40. I’m married but have nothing. I’m his servant.
Very similar. 30 years instead of 40. With councelling I realised that I put up with everything for so long because it was the world I was used to, growing up (with a narcissist mother). Love yourself, it’s the most important thing. Xx
Narcissists tend to suck up all the energy in the room -- fueled by power, domination, & control: meanwhile, expecting servitude, compliance, & silence from those around them.
It's no wonder why narcissistic abuse victims may find themselves become "a shell of themselves", "twist themselves into a pretzel", "silence their own needs, wants, desires, preferences, problems, & aspirations", "lose their identity", "lose the will to stand up for themselves", "lose their voice", & in extremely worse bullied situations: lose the will to live.
We have such a mother in school - she don't want anyone to talk about her son behaviour in public, she aggressively want to smash other parent. She wanted to talk to my husband twice - later she called me and when in public i told what the situation was she said - she will not talk with me. She is very abusive - she come to the school every day 15 minutes before lessons and she talk to the parents- she just manipulates them and she just show a good face - she want to controll everybody. Her son is messing with kids - but she denies he's aggressive sometimes in public and she just want to manage everything on her own.
When her kid will mess with my son and he will get into a fight with him - she'll say my son is aggressive and she'll do everything to show herself in good spotlight. It is everything about her. She's harassing everybody, controlling everybody in the same time being a class leader and a help there to cover all her campaign. I am so tired. I avoided her and she's back again.
When they've tried to get to me through my kids, that's when i have to use all the discipline God can provide to contain my rage.
Narcissists have an uncanny ability to know which "buttons to push", "get under your skin", "get a rise out of you", "make you go ballistic".
It makes the narcissist feel significant, that they can somehow control you & your emotions. [Don't give that narcissist the satisfaction. "Observe, don't absorb" (pretend you're watching a movie about a bully petulant toddler.) "Grey Rock": (remain dull, boring, & unreactive.)]
It's the narcissist's further penchant for schadenfreude: deriving pleasure out of others' pain & torment, goading, provoking, baiting you into a: REACTION. That, the sneaky narcissist, in turn, can manipulate & use to accuse you of being: unreasonable & unhinged.
Oh they love speaking over you!!!!
Talking at me, not to me! Dictating to me.
Cutting me off!
Yep! Mine would break something little almost everytime he'd come over and I would say... how is this possible? He immediately yelled at me and said "things break! It happens!" And the pretending you don't exist mime definitely would just get up off the couch, walk into the bedroom and lock me out and I'd have to sleep on the couch for literally no reason at all.
Exactly! Narcissists "breaking" ('hiding', 'missing', 'disrespecting', 'mistreating', 'forcibly misusing & destroying', 'neglecting', 'stealing') things is a THING!
i hate when they give you the silent treatment but blame you for it !!!
silent treatment is evil and psychopathic
Dad would tell me that I "misinterpreted" what he said. Not true!
My dad(narc) groomed me to abuse me. Some nerve of him!! He said it was all my fault: he lies!
The narc would make a joke in the middle of a serious conversation trying to derail it.
Wow this is the lights behaviors you mentioned and I didn’t realize it happened to so many people! Also my narc used almost every tactic in this video. I was in a 13 year marriage and didn’t understand what was happening until the last couple years. I just signed the divorce papers Tuesday morning
To the point about smear campaigns, I've started to become increasingly wary of the folks who are always a victim, but never at fault, and certainly never the direct cause. It becomes increasingly obvious when no matter what they're dealing with - a breakup, trouble with coworkers or bosses, family or friend issues - it's always everyone else doing it to them. Sometimes, this is just an issue of accountability. Sometimes though, it's an issue of them needing to frame the other side as bad people in order to protect their own image.
Well, what if it really is not their fault and they have been multiple times wronged? Has it occurred to you that there are people who do their best to treat others fair because one should love the neighbour as oneself, and treat others as one would love to be treated? I look back on my life and have no regrets for I made the best possible decisions and always did all I could to be fair, yet life is not fair back. My effort is never appreciated and even devaluated. I do not seek appreciation, though it would be nice to hear a sincere good word from time to time. God is my judge. Peace from Poland 🇵🇱 ♥️
Sometimes its people attracting abusive users, I worry this is how I come across sometimes, but when you're Autistic people do tend to use you and its real hard to realise it. I'm also physically disabled (it's not visible), can't work and don't have family support due to extreme abuse growing up. I spend most of my time alone as its easier than people assuming its me thats toxic. Sometimes people genuinely are completely overcome by shitty situations repeatedly and despite trying everything to health and grow just can't catch a break. I seem to be able to tell more easily when people are dramatizing their stories, other people assume its the same thing though. Just please keep this in mind if someone is ND!
@@Spark_Iskra_z_PolskiI can relate friend ❤
Thank you very much for reminding me how my toxic ex is a lot like my mother. That way I don’t go back to him. After six months I still sometimes fantasize about the good stuff and forget the bad, which was really bad!! He did every single thing you talked about.
I understand this. What helped me was writing down all the bad stuff he did to me. Anytime that I miss him and all the good times, I open my journal and read it and remember all the bad things that I never want to go back to. Hope this helps. ❤
I went back after the first separation. Worst thing I did. It’s like using the reserve tank of fuel. I was doing well after the first separation, after the second I was hanging on by a frayed thread. Took me ages to recover. It’s like I went back so he could take out revenge for me having left the first time.
I write things down too. 👍
My narc father also loves using reactive abuse on me to make me look like the bad person in the relationship. He loves instigating fights for me to react in negative ways so he can feel better about himself.
Elicit reactive abuse or use my reactive against me as proof. Using reactive abuse "on you" implies that YOU are the abuser and they are reacting to your abusive behaviour.
@@IshtarNike Thanks he also secretly records me so he can make me look like the abuser when I react in a negative way after he instigate fights with me over the phone.
Mine does the same thing and is sadistic, too!
He just untagged himself from all the FB post after being upset that i was not much of a tagger on social media. I now must heal. we are in our 50.s and this still can happen
The first time I got treated like I was the most hated thing was when we were in the airpot on a holiday. Without a word he took off with the boarding passes. I became insecure as I never knew when he would ditch me without notice. And then he says I’ll never leave you”. I took it as a threat
He lies!
It's the narc's fault, not yours! He lies, too!
Their tactics change too. The coverts in my life know that I’m busy working and that I’ve distanced myself from them so they’ll send videos and memes with no explanation or opinions through IG to bother me. Watch out, they’re so sneaky 💙🙏🏻💙
my mother went round church hugging everyone & playing mum of the year & christian martyr adopting us, we sat there thinking “ who is she?” As soon as we got home out came the stick & the shouting & yelling & reactive abuse & scapegoating & blaming us & food deprivation & locking me in my room , needless to say today I’m an atheist
Don't blame the Lord. He didn't mistreat you. She did.
@@carolentringer8836nah. This person made the right call. Your cult exalts narcissistic behavior.
I feel like Christianity forced my parents to be kinder people. I think that the belief that they were imperfect people and that it was good to apologize contained 'The Beast' for many years. Once my parents started falling away from Christianity and into new age spiritualism, they only got worse; my Mom has literally said "I see now there are no flaws, the flaws are only the illusion". I don't remember her ever saying anything like that when she was Christian.
The way I've experienced it, Christianity kind of 'forced' my parents to acknowledge they had flaws. Spiritualism allowed my parents to reinvent themselves as perfect spirit flower beings who can do no wrong. I've been traumatized by spiritual people far more than any religious person ever has. It's not even a competition or a close call.
What you say about your mother at church is my experience with my parents and spiritualism: they go to meditations and crystal bowl sound baths and watch videos by Buddhist monks in some monastery in southeast Asia, and then proceed to get inches from my face and literally scream about what a "whiny selfish ungrateful brat" I am. My mother has screamed about how she's not going to buy me 'any more fucking food'.
If I’m gonna get notifications on a thread where my comment was deleted imma just say it again. christianity is a death cult and they exalt narcissist’s.
It's even worse when the narcissist is in law enforcement. The main narc in my life is in law enforcement and to make matters worse, we don't know each other or have seen each other in person. There's one who's very well off financially and has been paying others to get information about me and to attempt to cause me grave harm if not have my life taken. He's also paying those who work in the legal and judicial system to keep quiet and escape accountability for the many crimes and privacy violations that he has committed against me. Unfortunately, one of them has a You Tube channel in which he is a relationship coach and helping others in dealing with narcissistic abuse
The TV thing!!! We were both watching tv together, suddenly he left to go to bedroom, I thought he just went to grab something, when he didn’t return, I went to look and found him already sleeping! He never said anything! We’ve been only seeing each other a couple of months at the time! I can’t imagine what it’ll be like dating this person long term!
Oh gosh, you're always spot on describing my wife...Do you know her?? She's so helpful, stopping to help random strangers in the street, offering help at church, talking to people to make them feel welcome. But she doesn't have a relationship or friendship with any of them. But she'll tell me that nobody likes me and that I "should hear what other parents say in the school playground about me". Oh, that'll be the parents that give me a hug when they see me and share their own problems.
Other people only ever see what I call her 'Sunday face'. They wouldn't believe it if I told them.
Oh and the turning the TV off? My wife does the opposite. She comes into the room, turns extra lights ON, then walks out after making a comment that I ALWAYS watch what I want to watch, which of course is true if no-one else is in the room, but really isn't the case. And she'll never sit down and watch anything WITH me...
Thank you Kristina. Glad I found you! 🙂
My ex would constantly fall asleep in the evening while I tried to talk about import marriage issues she would claim that my schedule on talking to her doesn't line up with her schedule well it was after the kids went to bed but not terribly late then I asked her to sit up while we talked guess what she still fell asleep sitting up. Amazing
Her way or the highway.
Sounds like my narcissistic father he loves being a coward and gossiping behind my back.
Mine thinks I believe his lies; I don't!
@@jackilynpyzocha662they are absolutely pathetic. He will never hear from me again. My mom and sister are on the thinnest ice as well. Enough is enough.
I was watching tv with my daughtr and he walks in takes the remote and changed the channel without excusing himself
Dificult to believe people really act this way. Im sure its common, yet its hard to wrap my mind around it. Sad, people could be so cruel and manipulative.
& Ruthless! [The world revolves around the narcissist's ego-centric orbit -- because the paranoid narcissist never felt/feels safe, so has to feel in control & on top.]
And then, have the nerve, to blame us. Narcs lie(these types)!
All soooo true! They are evil at its worst! God bless all of us who have dealt with them.❤
2:25 My ex and her entire family would talk so nice to other's faces but as soon as they would leave they would talk so nasty about them and they were supposed to be their friends!! Before everything finally ended with the ex I went off on her about it and, like a true narcissist, she denied it all and called me a liar. 🧐 😅 I know how they even said things about me to my face and I can only imagine what was said behind my back.
My X would stop to run an errand and take the car keys leaving me waiting in a hot, or cold car... always saying it was a mistake. Obviously wasn't.
It is so outrageous, but comforting in a way, to hear about behaviour that my ex did that I often just brushed off. Mine used to do that and would also get into the car, get settled, do his seatbelt up, adjust his mirror, check his hair, and then finally unlock the door for me. They really are a broken record.
My dad locked my mum in a car for hours on a hot day. She had to go to hospital and almost died. She couldnt get out without the key and a tradie saw her and broke the window
My heart hurts reading this. I am crying. So many questions but the only thing that matters is, are you okay?
@@FuneraryGirl Yes, I'm safe. no longer living with his disrespect, and contempt. The healing continues ❤️🤗
@@FuneraryGirl 🥺 we didn't deserve any of they're abusive behaviors. The stories I could share 🙄 the important thing is we make that decision to live a better life.
I have a sister who is an accurate & classic example of how she qualifies by 1000% as a cowardly narcissist. She has cause many people, including her own mother, brother & and sister, suffer immeasurably massive hardships because of her extreme jealousy.
We might have the same sister 🫤
Because she is insecure, immature and mean!
Reactive abuse is probably the most common behavior my ex-girlfriend would exhibit.
Btw, your hair looks fantastic!
Thank you! 🙏❤
You might want to rephrase this. I think you mean "elicit." Because if she's the one exhibiting reactive abuse that means you're the original abuser. 😅
@@IshtarNike Ah yes, thanks for the correction. There are a some terms that are fairly new to me here.
I wish I had time to watch now but can't.
I am in therapy after finding out that I have been married 37 years to one and had no idea.
I caught he in a 15 year lie about her cheating.
I did think it was me I was wrong what can I do to be better. Then your videos and my therapist explained to me that I was just in love and she doesn't no what that is. I'm very confused right now. All the traits are so clear now. How could I be so stupid.
I wish I knew of this npd 40 years ago so I could have seen it coming. The rage silent treatment lack of affection and the sex as a weapon pisses me off the most. Thank you for all the information.
Do you think lying about a affair for 15 years is my fault? Well she doesn't think it's no big deal and compared me to a boy friend she cheated on as a teenager. One problem I was her husband for 25 years. It's all the same to her she doesn't see any difference. I've had 15 years stolen from me and 37 years of true affection.
Good. You're onto her NPDness (Narcissistic tendencies) -- "It's NOT YOU (not your fault)": It's THEM! (the narc is the problem):
✅ Pathological 🤥LIAR
✅ Narcissists are "incapable of love" (instead, narcissists USE/EXPLOIT/TAKE ADVANTAGE of people - by feigning to be in love, luring & alluring, during the "Love-Bomb"/Idealization phase)
✅ INFIDELITY/CHEATER💔 (prone to boredom: fickle insatiable seekers of New Narcissistic Supply/Narcissistic Fuel)
✅ Blame-Shift, Projection
✅ Narcissistic Rage 😤
✅ Silent Treatment 🙊
✅ Weaponize Sex, withhold sex/affection
✅ Narcissists are unlikely to change, & likely to get worse over time
I feel your pain. I was married to a disgusting narc for 35 years. She couldn’t keep her pants on at work for the most part. Once she started working at the air base it was like bees on honey. She lived for male validation while discarding those that actually cared for her well being. Like you I feel like I wasted 35 years that could have been spent with a kind loving woman rather than an insidious demon. Other than hurtful memories we’re free now.
@@Harmonious-jm3sy Why is it always at their work. Mine did the same thing and when I would question phone numbers or my gut was screaming somethings wrong. I'd get the yelling about how great her job is and if it wasn't for her we wouldn't get by. Which was not true she worked at a grocery store. It was her thing she held up to validate her worth.
I just can believe I didn't know of such a type of narc. My gut was right. If you met her you would think she's the nicest and sweetest person in the world but it's the exact opposite. I'm very confused and hurt. But I'm going to get through this.
Thanks for the reply I hope I am as lucky as you and can get away fast.
@@stephenlandry9343 The 'sweetness & light' traits seem so reminiscent of the "covert narcissist" -- the hardest to detect, until it's too late. & yes, what better prolific playground for attracting new narcissistic supply than the workplace: exactly where a certain unsuspecting victim met & has become entangled with an insufferable (narcissistic) serial flirt who also is highly manipulative & financially exploitative: surviving life, simply by getting by on "charm".
You are never out of it when the discard is coupled with parental alienation. My mother-in-law broke my wife during her childhood and she went on to destroy my children's beautiful childhood in order to spread her disease to the next generation.
I didn’t react and I felt something was off and later I was called intimidating lol.I learned the childish behaviour and I don’t react or respond or defend myself 😊
Yep. I had no idea that for years my kids were being brainwashed by their dad. He taught them to judge and criticize. I would have those affairs had I known he was trashing me. I raised them but their dad is a god. The smirk on his face when it was obvious he “owned” them. Now they are the family of no emotion, because my emotions were offensive. I haven’t cried in years. Or laughed
Thank you so much for this big reveal..!
SO TRUE ! ..cowards are the lowest OF THE LOW ! ..you are always left alone scratching your head.. we must never allow this ever again.. MOVE ON, GET OUT RIGHT AWAY FROM THEIR SICK SUPREMELY TOXIC BEHAVIOUR, regain your life and yourself back again!
Mine literally waited until I was undergoing a surgery or two when I was under anesthesia to start making fun of me while I was going under and could do nothing about it🥶🥶
Mine was diabolical- she whispered in my ear as I was on the edge of an anxiety attack “you sister doesn’t care about you, if she did she would have been here already”. I then went into a full blown panic attack falling over on the floor convulsing and cramping and all she did was stand over my body staring at me as I looked up at her wondering why she wasn’t comforting me.
Hi,,,, they are soooo emotionally immature!!! He would also start coughing when I would start talking! I mean,,, every time!
that is pathetic ! omg lol i wouldn't be able to stand it
OMG, the cryptic messages! I tried explaining this to someone and they said I was delusional. This is so validating because it was so obvious. And gaslighting!
So glad I found your video Christina. I've been observing over the last year what I believe is a covert narcissist and am seeing very clearly the duplicity in practically all of their words and actions. Never thought I would gain such clarity. In the last 10 years I realised that my father is covertly narcissistic and that this is why I have been attracted to covert narcissists. And I am so pleased to say that this is no longer the case.
Passive aggresssive worms.
I wish you would touch on.
Actual physical abuse when it comes to rage with the covert.
Absolutely true 💯
These toxic bastards are very covert, under the radar but once they know u are all over their game play..they are humiliated because u flipped the script and changed the dynamic of power.
Cruelty!
Too damned bad for them!
That disgusting excuse of a narcissistic human being that was my "father", used to turn the lights off when I was in a room, because "there was no one in the room".
That's cruelty!
Let someone do the same to him and see how he reacts. He won't like it; tough cookies for him! Mine hates women and takes it on on me(eldest daughter). His attitude; his fault. Not mine. He's full of b.s.!
I have learned the very hard way I was used by a narcissist. She even called out her sickness by making me question myself as a narcissist. I researched enough and seen enough of the same conclusions. I am on a no contact because I haven't realized how strong I am. I am on my Smear Campaign now. I am researching and realizing how gaslighting work. Worked on me for 21 years. I am happy that I realized my strength and let her go.
Used to get quite a lot of these. Firstly, trying to get away with murder and then accusing me of being aggressive or controlling when I'd call her out on it. Turning the lights out and going to bed without even saying anything. Organising and planning trips without involving me or asking my opinion and then gaslighting me when I told her I didnt feel like a priotory anymore. It was literally as if I didn't exist. We separated and she took my child and went into radiosilence until I got legal support.
Whenever I was asked for my opinion about certain instances & if I responded inaccurately or if I didn’t agree with him, he would respond almost aggressively with “see this is exactly why I never talk to you or tell you anything ever”
Or when they're cheating, they just cannot admit, that it was their decision, their choice, they will tell you excuses and make themselves the hurt ones
Or, the narcissist will, in some way, blame: YOU -- for the narcissist's indiscretions!
[e.g. "If you hadn't been (working so hard, so busy, traveling, the breadwinner, etc.), the narcissist would not have (cheated) ____(fill in the blank)____]
Or, that they project it onto you. It doesn't work that way, either.
"You think I'm cheating I might as well cheat."
I had a room mate with 2 other ones do that to me, they say nothing while I was listening with headphone to some music and writing, and that brat just turns off the lights and they all pretend like I'm not there while they go to bed, leaving me in sitting there in the dark. I never understood why they singled me out
They better talk behind my back. It's been 36 yrs now and not one has Came to my Face With Absolutely Nothing Negative.
My ex-wife broke up with me with a video of her and her boyfriend on Instagram. What a coward.
They are the dam devil
They are actually evil in the way they will be as hurtful as possible. Stay strong because she did you a favor. You’ve lost a lot of time, money, and effort on her, but in the end you’re free and will make it back up 10 fold while she drains another person before moving on again. Your replacement will find out soon enough what he’s gotten himself into.
You deserve better than her!