I Survived My Friend’s Sexual Assault | A Story of Healing

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  • Опубликовано: 5 янв 2025

Комментарии • 1,3 тыс.

  • @UnfilteredStoriesYT
    @UnfilteredStoriesYT  Год назад +156

    Do you have an inspiring story to share? Contact us at unfilteredstories@jellysmack.com

    • @Only2TRU
      @Only2TRU Год назад +1

      Wow how have i JUST FOUND your channel!! I a obsessed already!! New subby as of about thirty minutes ago❤

    • @DisneyCruiseShip
      @DisneyCruiseShip Год назад +7

      I'm not trying to be mean but he should have never kept hanging out with Kyle after he tried to grope him the first time. He should have steered clear away from him. He wasn't using his intuition.

    • @dorcasirizarry5494
      @dorcasirizarry5494 Год назад +5

      @@DisneyCruiseShip That’s the logical way to see it but predators know how to groom that sweet, passive, overly-forgiving person…ESPECIALLY at a faith-based school. I don’t want to stereotype here but I know from experience, my Asian friends were usually taught to not make waves so between all those things, I think his own instincts were not working anymore. I think every time the guy said he was sorry, the guy made him feel like he had to socialize with him again-otherwise he’s unforgiving or anti-LGBTQA, ya know? He’s making this super-nice, christian kid feel guilty & scared if he doesn’t comply. Predators know exactly what kind of person to victimize & that’s the issue here. This vibrant, sweet young man is completely innocent & only guilty of being TOO nice!

    • @lauriegentry7764
      @lauriegentry7764 Год назад +1

      @@dorcasirizarry5494 yes. Christian youth are taught to forgive, and to “turn the other cheek “.

    • @NandiJohnston-p6f
      @NandiJohnston-p6f Год назад +1

      @@DisneyCruiseShip Hi. Once #UnwantedTouch Occurs, *Intuition* is no longer Needed!!!
      In most states, #Law: Any 'Unwanted Touch' is considered #Assault! including forced-Hugs! Let alone 'touch' of a s3xual nature!

  • @keebler5064
    @keebler5064 Год назад +3354

    It’s about time! So many men are living with these kinds of secrets!

    • @fiefie2031
      @fiefie2031 Год назад +100

      I have so many friends with these kinds of stories, they were drugged and raped

    • @yamiletsoler3464
      @yamiletsoler3464 Год назад +66

      This is horrible, the world is turning into Sodom and Gomorrah

    • @fiefie2031
      @fiefie2031 Год назад +1

      @Nirita Lama you'll be shocked, straight men shouldn't be close friends with gay men,it never ends well,they always want to sleep with them and if you don't agree, you get drugged and raped

    • @rahmatinatrioktari5878
      @rahmatinatrioktari5878 Год назад +36

      OMG! Never thought that these happen a lot to teenage boys. It must have taken so much courage to share. Hopefully you can heal soon...

    • @fiefie2031
      @fiefie2031 Год назад +37

      @@rahmatinatrioktari5878 alot even in churches and mosques, just be careful who you leave your boys with

  • @WinterStream
    @WinterStream Год назад +1942

    That's what predators do, they groom you then go in for the attack...if you fight back, they manipulate you into thinking you were in the wrong. It's sickening.

    • @daisuke910
      @daisuke910 Год назад +23

      It is. They turns the story over and make you guilty. Even know you know they are wrong, when the thing is over, it messes with your mind and it is hard to move on. You feel disgusted and like an idiot, but the scar still there.

    • @kid-ava
      @kid-ava Год назад +6

      yes, it's so distressing and heartbreaking 💔

    • @UmbraStarWolf
      @UmbraStarWolf Год назад

      That’s not what happened to me he wasn’t grooming me but still did those things to me

    • @gratefulblessed4447
      @gratefulblessed4447 Год назад +2

      It's sad. No one talks about sexual manipulation and how bad it is. On TV it's always they said no then the assault happened. But, there is coerced rape and assault. Even oral sex as well.

    • @Janelleeeeeeeeeeeeee
      @Janelleeeeeeeeeeeeee Год назад

      That’s what my friend did, she was at first, just nice to me. But then she kept touching me inappropriately and pressured and forced me to touch her, we’re both girls but she was a lot bigger and she boxed, and she was unpredictable so I was scared to tell her to stop but I hinted that I don’t like it and told her that I think it’s weird. I was her friend for a while bcuz she was nice to me so I felt bad..

  • @DP-gx4dr
    @DP-gx4dr Год назад +2980

    It wasn't your fault, he was a narcissist, and he took his time with his assaults. He worked on your mind first before he assaulted you. I'm glad you were brave to share your story. Thanks for sharing. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

    • @iamjustsaying4787
      @iamjustsaying4787 Год назад +47

      @DP this guy was no mere narcissist. This young man was right to not show aggression or fear because his attacker is a full blown severe violent psychopath.

    • @marksmith-dn2wh
      @marksmith-dn2wh Год назад +36

      I agree but this guy is too innocent tbh after the first assault most people would not speak to this guy and not continue to do so. I can tell the guy has a kind hearted soul and wouldn't hurt anyone but what hurts is that guy is not charged for what he did.

    • @brennathecatlover4360
      @brennathecatlover4360 Год назад +20

      @@marksmith-dn2wh he probably was manipulated or just was confused

    • @la381
      @la381 Год назад +1

      He was worse. He is a malignant narcissist AND A PSYCHOPATH. ....WHAT HE DID IS A VIOLENT CRIME THAT BEGAN WITH MANIPULATING THIS GUY'S NAIVE MIND. HE DRUGGED HIM AND RAPED HIM.

    • @getgot3461
      @getgot3461 Год назад +2

      ​@Donnell Okafor then what is he?

  • @feliciaperezauthor
    @feliciaperezauthor Год назад +2131

    I was molested by my stepfather for 7 years. The things he did were horrific. The damage he caused will be lifelong. Recovery isn’t easy but necessary. My voice was never heard but it is being heard now. One person at a time. I’m strong enough now and want to share my story to continue bringing awareness. Please choose to fight against molestation/ sex abuse WITH ME!, My fight is just getting started. This fight (for me) is no longer about my abuse, it’s about the society that failed me and my determination to bring awareness.
    Stop Sexual Abuse,

    • @IkkyCeeee
      @IkkyCeeee Год назад +71

      💔😞im sorry sweetheart. children deserve so much better

    • @sierrasaleste
      @sierrasaleste Год назад +51

      I was molested as well by my father since I was 16 & it stopped at 19 because I told my mom what was happening & the year that i told her was 2018 & still till today he hasn’t been arrested not only did he do that to me but he did the same thing to my first female cousin who’s his niece.
      & early this year I just came out to my fiancé & mom that I was raped by my past partner & it took me last December to finally realize that I was sexually abused not once but twice with people who I was closest to & sadly those 2 cases won’t stick since it took me years to tell what happened to me with my dad & me fully knowing that I was raped by my last partner but was to scared to tell anyone about it until pretty recently & on top of that I’m wheelchair bound & the fact that my ex partner knew what my dad did to me makes me sad because I’d never thought I’d not only be molested by my father but raped by past partner who i gave my virginity to & have him take advantage of that as well. & knowing I barely knew him for a few weeks

    • @ExoBau
      @ExoBau Год назад +37

      Society has failed the kids, the elderly and the youth. We should have protected them from the very beginning. I agree with you I think we as Society need to get our shit together ASAP

    • @feliciaperezauthor
      @feliciaperezauthor Год назад +7

      @@ExoBau so very true!

    • @ruthsteed9597
      @ruthsteed9597 Год назад +26

      ​@Sierra Saleste I feel your pain. I was in a polygamous group and was married to my step-dad through a religious arranged marriage when I was 16. I was raped by him for 2 1/2 years. I had a child by him. Now I've waited to long to get justice. My family has now turned my son and only child against me. I'm trying all I can to heal. It's been a long slow process. I hope to get through it. I'm learning more and more that I'm not alone. It's so sad how common things like this happen. 😢
      You're so brave and strong. Thank you for sharing your story. 🤗🙏 Sending you lots of love and prayers.

  • @zenmetsuzogo4005
    @zenmetsuzogo4005 Год назад +682

    He is being groomed. It’s kinda obvious on how regardless many red flags, he kept hanging out with the predator. All the gaslighting, the apologies, and the fact Kyle managed to make him felt guilty for being a victim. Honestly, if that guy is not stopped, he will keep assaulting people. Someone should report him. His identity should be revealed to prevent future victims.
    If my son is being treated like that, prison would be the place that the criminal hoped they could be in. Because as a father, I would do everything and anything to get that person pay for his crime.

    • @chaos-ku4vw
      @chaos-ku4vw Год назад +32

      As a father that hasnt been in that situation you shouldnt allude to what the victim should do by comparing what you would do as being better.
      You are not them, it is not your pain and not your story.
      So back up.

    • @zenmetsuzogo4005
      @zenmetsuzogo4005 Год назад +59

      @@chaos-ku4vw you are doing a straw man argument. I never said the victim should be better. You should be the one who back off. All I said is the criminal deserves prison time. And the likelihood for that criminal to do it again to another person is high. Sure, I do not have the experience of having a son who was sexually assaulted BUT i do have experience of being assaulted sexually. So, I understood the son’s pain. And I also know that once the criminal gets away with his crime, it is just a matter of time before he will do it again (if he had not done it already). Unless you actually feel that the rapist should get away with his crime?

    • @elektra6473
      @elektra6473 Год назад +13

      I agree 101% with zemetsu zogo, He is not saying anything about this young man what he is saying is that the safest place for that predator would be in prison because if I get to him first it won’t be pretty. No one ever knows what a victim goes through you can probably relate if something like this has happened to you but because every human being has different emotions in different ways of dealing with things no one really knows how someone else feels. But when you’re a parent and someone has made your child feel violated or scared as a parent you want to take action. You must not be a parent chaos. Just my opinion

    • @JuliaShalomJordan
      @JuliaShalomJordan Год назад +1

      Yes. Totally.😔

    • @JoyofRVing
      @JoyofRVing Год назад +12

      @@chaos-ku4vw it seems like you are siding with protecting the perpetrator

  • @JanisFoleyPhotography
    @JanisFoleyPhotography Год назад +788

    I recently heard about his story... His "friend" should be in prison... 😡

    • @jessiicc
      @jessiicc Год назад +7

      Right Kyle needs consequences

    • @ivannna252
      @ivannna252 Год назад +6

      Yes, otherwise he will do it again.

  • @noorsmind7174
    @noorsmind7174 Год назад +739

    this man has the most pure eyes and energy - idk how he came out of it like this , god what a soul

    • @Fraulein_el
      @Fraulein_el Год назад +34

      Yeah he could. Sense that. Perfect target for narcississt. People have tried with me too they always try until they see my face. They do this to very insecure people they know. Their target

    • @tigerx22
      @tigerx22 Год назад +23

      ​@@Fraulein_el more like very nice people as target. This guy is clearly not insecure. The few brave hearts in fact

    • @Fraulein_el
      @Fraulein_el Год назад +13

      @@tigerx22 we all been insecure not knowing how to say No because u don't want to appear rude. You can be nice and know boundaries I hope he knows it now that if ur uncomfortable with something or someone you say no Thanks and if they keep pushing while u said no that's harrasment well with him. It's molestation and if he was drugged that's rape not sure what happened. This big ass dude needs to be in jail if not he will keep doing it....

    • @Fraulein_el
      @Fraulein_el Год назад +4

      @@tigerx22 it all starts at home. Some of us are taught not to say no or talk back. Talking back is seen as rude. I was not rude and I was also a people pleaser before but never that people could.abuse me. Physically. I don't hang out with people by myself it's always with other friends nor I take drinks. Or drugs from others if I want to experiment I did it at home where I was safe and no I wasn't that crazy that I won't remember anything it's really important to. Stand up for yourself and learn to say No. Boundaries

    • @brunoconceicao4423
      @brunoconceicao4423 Год назад +6

      God protect him🙏🏼

  • @heatherwolmarans8287
    @heatherwolmarans8287 Год назад +892

    It's common to freeze during a sexual assault. It's not your fault. And it definately sounds like you were drugged on the last occasion, I'm so sorry.

  • @enlilly2405
    @enlilly2405 Год назад +228

    When my maternal uncle tried to assault me, I just kicked him in the balls, I managed to escape from his grab and went downstairs where rest of my family was present. I shouted and told the entire people in the house about it even before he could make a move on me and gaslight me! I thank God for giving me that energy and at that time I didn't care about anything, I just yelled !

    • @Stargazer9900
      @Stargazer9900 Год назад +34

      Im so sorry that happened to you! But so glad you managed to escaped that. How did your family react? Do you still see him?

    • @mathsismyfavourite
      @mathsismyfavourite Год назад +13

      I hope everyone could do that

    • @briellejacobs1045
      @briellejacobs1045 Год назад +10

      Wow! What happened after? I hope he was never around kids again

    • @enlilly2405
      @enlilly2405 Год назад +19

      @@Stargazer9900 my father was not there. Only my mom, mom's mother and her other brother. They scolded him. But they told me not to tell my father because my father would murder him. So I had to keep it away from my father. My siblings know. To this day, everyone made sure that "my uncle" won't come near me or anyone in the family.
      But I wanted to report him to the police. Then I thought of my father. He would definitely kill that man and go to jail if he knows. So I am mum.

    • @ark198989
      @ark198989 10 месяцев назад

      THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!!
      JESUS BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU! 🤗🌹🙏

  • @juliejohnson1544
    @juliejohnson1544 Год назад +974

    As a mother, I wanted to hug you and to punch Kyle for doing that to you. You are an incredibly brave young man and I am sure that sharing your story in such a sensitive way will help many others!

  • @KikeeBah
    @KikeeBah Год назад +1305

    Thank you for sharing this. Sexual assaults against men need to be exposed. Trusting one's guts, and acknowledging when someone, or something doesn't feel right IS SO IMPORTANT. Big hugs 🫂

    • @angelaholmes8888
      @angelaholmes8888 Год назад +8

      You are right

    • @thatwasmethere3526
      @thatwasmethere3526 Год назад +4

      Yeah, that's why men needs to learn from a young age, aka threat them (like if you're going to be that disgusting you're gonna burn by yourself, die sooner, have cancer, be killed by good people etc)

    • @qxeenbaker1175
      @qxeenbaker1175 Год назад +9

      @@thatwasmethere3526 if you’re only being good for the fear of consequence then you’re not really a good person. Kids just need to know right and wrong, and to respect and have boundaries. You shouldn’t have to threaten them to do right..

    • @ann._.skz21
      @ann._.skz21 Год назад

      @@thatwasmethere3526 narc parents be like

  • @PrincessNicEssus
    @PrincessNicEssus Год назад +1219

    It sounded as if he roofied you; when you were talking about things being fuzzy and not able to think properly. So heartbreaking! 😢 I’m so sorry this happened to you. It always seems to be the sweetest people who get hurt and taken advantage of the worst. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

    • @WudEvZ
      @WudEvZ Год назад +51

      Oh you’re right about that. I have been roofied and so have many of my friends. Just how normal is all this?

    • @PrincessNicEssus
      @PrincessNicEssus Год назад +30

      @@WudEvZ Wow, that's just awful! I'm so sorry. Especially if you're out with your friends drinking you won't know if the effects you're feeling is the alcohol or something someone's slipped in your drink.

    • @Maderlololohio
      @Maderlololohio Год назад +9

      It's why partying etc best done w friends and watch out for each other 😢

    • @MaineCoonMama18
      @MaineCoonMama18 Год назад +50

      I suspect I was roofied the first time I drank (as a teenager). I only remember drinking some of the drink and talking to people a bit. I have no memory of the rest of that night except for about 30 seconds. The part I remember? The guy saying "Oh, you're bleeding. You really are a virgin." I was so sweet, naive and trusting, and it still upsets me how people used that against me.

    • @PrincessNicEssus
      @PrincessNicEssus Год назад +14

      @@MaineCoonMama18 😭

  • @KoopaBOOEY
    @KoopaBOOEY Год назад +50

    As a fellow Asian-American, I am very proud of the fact that you were quite brave to tell us about a very vulnerable part of your life that a lot of Asian-Americans, younger or older, would rather keep to themselves. Older Asian-American generations were taught to sweep these things under the rug and not bring up trauma or abuse to ensure their families look good or because the victim might not be believed or taken seriously, or they will receive retaliation from the abuser. I’ve noticed in the past few years, things are changing for Asian-Americans, and it’s good for us to share these things like abuse to a trusted individual in order to remove that stigma of keeping things like abuse bottled up inside. It’s not healthy to do so, and you make it easier for us to know that it’s okay to talk about these kinds of things. Thank you Loward ❤

  • @JustWhattaRuLookinAt
    @JustWhattaRuLookinAt Год назад +1732

    “You’re homophobic because you reacted negatively towards me touching you inappropriately without your consent.”
    I’m here trying so hard to not to break things near me out of sheer rage.

    • @lisajohnson4744
      @lisajohnson4744 Год назад +133

      Yeah, the gaslighting really infuriated me as I listened. 🤬🤬🤬
      I can even…

    • @lixm_is.thebest5196
      @lixm_is.thebest5196 Год назад +77

      not only did he say he was homophobic but also racist like..... idk what ppl are thinking these days and the dude needs help the fact that he did it to him multiple times and bcs Loward kept on accepting his apology the other dude took it as an opportunity to keep on doing it that's what his mind set was "bcs he accepted my apology i can do it again and he'll still accept my apology" which is what happened and everytime he kept doing more and more and taking things further knowing in a couple of months well be talking again i'm glad he told his story and didn't keep it in although i'm not a SA victim ik it's scary especially him saying "he's a bigger guy and he didn't wanna say no bcs it could've gone worse than it already did" i'm glad more men are sharing their stories bcs SA can go both ways

    • @pumpsiegreen8626
      @pumpsiegreen8626 Год назад +43

      And don't forget 'racist' my man's gas lighting skills on thousand trillion

    • @cosmicreef5858
      @cosmicreef5858 Год назад +13

      Same here. THE AUDACITY!

    • @cosmicreef5858
      @cosmicreef5858 Год назад +31

      @@lixm_is.thebest5196 No he needs JAIL
      Pe3ople really need to understand that rapists, ect. can NOT be helped
      They did a life long damage, they deserve a life long punishment

  • @sweetzbubbletea2326
    @sweetzbubbletea2326 Год назад +131

    Disgusting. As someone who has been touched inappropriately. This enrages me. Can’t even imagine. Hope every victims finds healing.

  • @fayito9970
    @fayito9970 Год назад +60

    I'm a woman who's been abused as you were and I cried listening to you. I'm a grandma, and all I want to do is hug you. You're such a courageous young man, you can be very proud of yourself.

  • @Kat-eb4ck
    @Kat-eb4ck Год назад +283

    The part where he has to go to bed while crying silently and realizes that “okay. This is what it is.” was the part I felt in my soul. People really do expect victims of abuse to just show up at a police station or whatever. But no. The reality is that sometimes we get abused on just a random day, at a random party, by a random person, etc. and it takes a minute (sometimes years of minutes) to adjust and process what happened. You go to bed knowing what happened was real but at the end of everyday, we’re supposed to go to sleep. Sleeping alone after an abusive experience is not a thing I would wish on my worst enemy. I hope he can finally sleep at night.

    • @gummy5862
      @gummy5862 Год назад +11

      That’s the reason it’s so hard to prosecute certain SA cases. The nature of the crime is just more complex than the justice system can handle.

    • @lucidarose613
      @lucidarose613 Год назад +7

      Agreed.

  • @laurakelly631
    @laurakelly631 Год назад +430

    This is a very clear description of how rape can be... in the case of a known person, relative, teacher, boss, friend, date rape etc. How many of us have experienced this?! So sad, creepy, hard to deal with. I really appreciate the bravery and clarity you have in sharing your story.

    • @myishenhaines1706
      @myishenhaines1706 Год назад +6

      Too many of us. 😢

    • @jasmineG-c2f
      @jasmineG-c2f Год назад +2

      After being through this in a dating position.... I feel so hard for you. I'm so proud of you. That's grooming and it's violating.

  • @tyanaz1498
    @tyanaz1498 Год назад +4

    it is so true, trauma blocks the memory so "I don't remember how I ended up there" is so common among survivors of trauma

  • @theautumnmoon
    @theautumnmoon Год назад +255

    Moral of the story: we can be our own enemies by overthinking. We forget that people care for us. Don't be afraid to speak up 🧡

  • @ynanam2041
    @ynanam2041 Год назад +35

    Either you were drugged or your own body went to defence mode after a traumatic experience and you forgot parts of that trauma. You are brave enough to speak about that trauma.Wish you peace and strength ❤

  • @marley1062
    @marley1062 Год назад +330

    Even when going through this, he smiled so beautifully. Hope he’s having a good recovery 🤍

    • @terenarosa4790
      @terenarosa4790 Год назад +31

      People smile when they're retelling something that's painful so they don't start crying. I realized I did it when I told my doctor and they ended up not taking me seriously and brushed it off. Never told anyone again.

    • @emptycupp
      @emptycupp Год назад

      ​@@terenarosa4790 🫂

    • @mariaolivares9789
      @mariaolivares9789 Год назад +5

      Proud 👏 of that you have the courage to speak out wish you the best in life God bless you ❤❤❤❤❤

    • @Schrodingers_Kat
      @Schrodingers_Kat 8 месяцев назад

      @@terenarosa4790I find that curious because the awkward smile to cover other feelings or being able to revisit them is SO COMMON, but once and again people are so quick to brush things off when that happens.

  • @karisworldgaming4832
    @karisworldgaming4832 Год назад +215

    This is so sad. I started crying when he started crying. I’m glad he’s moving forward and shared his story. I’m glad his parent’s were so supportive. When he said he just couldn’t remember what came to mind to me was, “he blocked it out”. I really wanted to give him a hug.

  • @indykayzee
    @indykayzee Год назад +115

    Him saying, you're not bad parents, it's because of how you raised me I was able to get through this. This broke me. You have such a beautiful resilient soul that no one can ever harm. ❤️

  • @IXcircle
    @IXcircle Год назад +213

    For anyone who finds themselves in a similar circumstance, particularly after struggling with sedative amnesic effects, go to the hospital asap. Even if your worried about how to prove consent, they can do a blood test to determine if anything is in your system. Don't wait too long because some drugs commonly involved in SA are eliminated from the body fast. (Graduate Student studying forensic toxicology)

  • @soulpark3128
    @soulpark3128 Год назад +61

    I just want to say that I love how he and his friends had the "laundry room" talks. The acceptance he had when he finally told people is beautiful.

  • @Siriuslyyy
    @Siriuslyyy Год назад +66

    Time's up!
    We are speaking up now. Every survivor, please tell your story. We are teaching our children to speak up the MOMENT someone violates their trust.

  • @jksyn0613
    @jksyn0613 Год назад +40

    What happened isnt your fault. You're such a strong, brave young man. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • @Bontle22
    @Bontle22 Год назад +104

    You're a survivor, you are brave ,you are seen , you're are loved and you Matter. Thank you for trusting us to listen and comfort you through everything you went through.

  • @lilactokki
    @lilactokki 3 месяца назад +2

    Him talking about his horrible situation and still managing to keep his head up with a ray of sunshine in his smile. What a strong man. May the justice be made somehow and may you receive the relief your soul needs for such pain.

  • @dangie7735
    @dangie7735 Год назад +59

    When I was in my Junior year of college, I was a reporter for the college newspaper and I did a piece on rape among male college students. My professor and department editor-in-chief gave me such a hard time over the piece...she eventually allowed it, but not until I'd gone through so much to research it out, do campus wide survey's, etc...I basically worked on it all year and then she finally permitted it to be published.
    I often wonder how many males were missed in terms of being saved or given resources because she a gay female, working and living in a conservative college town didn't want to upset anyone and risk losing her job over protecting a silent class of people, because the facts say rape is a woman's issue not a boy or a man.
    Glad you shared your story. I graduated with a degree in Journalism but went on to have a long career in criminal justice where I met many men who'd experienced childhood molestation/rape, or who'd been raped while incarcerated but couldn't speak out.
    I work in secondary education now and still meet traumatized kids who have experienced sexual molestation by other kids male and females...often here it's grooming by a kid that's a bit older, etc. Anyways glad you shared, you found a way to heal...keep telling your story.

  • @PancakesandPrayer
    @PancakesandPrayer Год назад +153

    I’m so sorry this abuser did this to you. I’m sorry that not only he violated you but put you in a mindset as if it was your fault .

  • @TwinklingWatermelon32
    @TwinklingWatermelon32 Год назад +38

    Something similar happened to me when I was 12 with an older girl. I still feel so disgusted about it and I have lasting breakdowns from this experience. Honestly, I am disgusted when anyone touches me, even if it is a member of my family. You've been through a lot, but I'm glad you shared it. It makes me feel better about my situation.

    • @jessiicc
      @jessiicc Год назад +2

      I’m so sorry that happened to you

  • @SpringNotes
    @SpringNotes Год назад +67

    I have a feeling this is more commonplace, than we realize. Thank you for telling us your story Loward.

    • @mcarthurspark8636
      @mcarthurspark8636 Год назад +8

      So many gay men go after straight men and its scary

    • @fiefie2031
      @fiefie2031 Год назад +1

      It is actually

    • @hazelmint6671
      @hazelmint6671 Год назад +3

      Is it? I feel soo sorry for the guys that go thru these stuff, especially since its not talked abt as much and pretty much ignored 😢

    • @danielaorellana8216
      @danielaorellana8216 Год назад +9

      ​@@mcarthurspark8636 I don't think it has anything to do with that. The same could be said about straight men going after lesbian women. Going "after" is not the same as harassing and literally raping someone. A sexual predator is what he is despite his sexuality.

    • @mcarthurspark8636
      @mcarthurspark8636 Год назад +3

      @@danielaorellana8216 Exactly, I know a guy it happened to in the military. He went drinking with friends and got drugged and raped. He was never the same and had to be discharged after a breakdown.

  • @bonniem1865
    @bonniem1865 Год назад +45

    I’m literally crying, I’m so upset that this happened to him but I’m so happy he’s able to tell people and share his story. I hope he knows he’s loved.❤

  • @toskaaksot
    @toskaaksot Год назад +127

    Such an eloquent speaker. You have an incredibly uplifting energy. I’m happy your parents were so supportive towards you and that you’re helping others with your story.

  • @sofia.a1
    @sofia.a1 Год назад +43

    This made me cry so much. I was sexually abused many times when I was in middle school / high school… I felt so lonely and got so depressed. I hope this video helps people who are going through this,l to speak up and know that they’re not alone

  • @racyjm90
    @racyjm90 Год назад +30

    I can only imagine how hard it is to even share his story. To remember the details all over again. I feel so bad for him, I just wish I can give him a hug.

  • @MondeeGurl
    @MondeeGurl Год назад +18

    It hurt my heart to watch parts of this. The most painful part was when you spoke about the gaslighting and the confusion created because of it. Thanks for being so BRAVE and telling your story. I needed to see this today. ❤

  • @xxxxxxxxx1652
    @xxxxxxxxx1652 Год назад +3

    male sexual assault happens,too. and for many, they carry this burden for the rest of their lives. my heart goes out to you and i am so happy that you are sharing this story.

  • @jasminevalencia2576
    @jasminevalencia2576 Год назад +136

    My heart broke for you, I can’t believe “Kyle” isn’t in prison. Just remember that what happened to you is NOT your fault. I’m sending so much love and prayers to you. ❤️

  • @804smiles
    @804smiles Год назад +34

    Man hear his dad's response actually jus brought tears to my eyes gratitude for sharing your story ❤ Good for u bro for having enough courage to tell your story

  • @GameChanger597
    @GameChanger597 Год назад +103

    What an intuitive and exact way to explain these emotional disturbances. "It's not something you can wash off because it's inside." I've never heard degradation explained in such a complete and precise way.

  • @monicascott2354
    @monicascott2354 Год назад +37

    Holy hell, this was the BRAVEST thing I've seen in awhile. Bravo.

  • @vojo1461
    @vojo1461 Год назад +5

    Sooo much manipulation. I’m glad Loward figured out Kyle’s game and got the hell away from him. Praying for healing for Loward and that he doesn’t lose that contagious smile.

  • @TippedScales106
    @TippedScales106 Год назад +5

    I appreciate the fact that once he decided to open up the people in his life realized how hard and traumatizing this was for him and first thanked him for opening up to them, then showed their support. This type of story is where you tend to see a lot of victim blaming and I’m glad he received the support he needed

  • @kalisederoche
    @kalisederoche Год назад +16

    it says so much abt his character that he was worried abt how HE might make someone ELSE feel like that after being intimate. it shows so much empathy and innocence, and its truly inspiring to hear him share his story. THANK U to this gorgeous brave young man ❤

  • @la_vita_di_v
    @la_vita_di_v Год назад +17

    I’m sorry that you had to experience this. Your aura shines through the screen, you have clearly kept your kindness despite experiencing such darkness. I hope that you and your future generations continue to shine and are protected from the bad in the world every day of your lives ❤

  • @MaineCoonMama18
    @MaineCoonMama18 Год назад +81

    As a fellow survivor, I just want to hug you. I'm so sorry he did all of that to you, especially when he was supposed to be your friend. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story, I know it's usually even more difficult for men to talk about. I'm so glad you got such supportive, healthy reactions to sharing what happened.

  • @willow_jayde
    @willow_jayde Год назад +16

    I KNEW this happened to men too! I f'n knew it! I really hope more men break their silence and let it be known, so they can start getting help. You are so brave my guy. So brave ❤😊

    • @rosemarypark6093
      @rosemarypark6093 Месяц назад

      Watch Baby reindeer, it's about a man being raped

  • @lauriegentry7764
    @lauriegentry7764 Год назад +49

    You’re so brave!!
    As you have described being assaulted… it’s exactly what was going through my mind as it happened to me when I was 15. I was assaulted by my step father, during a family camping trip. I was afraid to scream or say anything, because he had weapons, and my mother and siblings were in the same camper as me. But I decided to fake sobbing, which woke my mother. She asked what’s wrong, I said “nothing. Bad dream. “ because of those weapons.
    He stopped, but kept trying throughout the trip, and for weeks after getting home. So I finally told my mother that he raped me. Instead of the protection I’d expected, she went to him and they both beat me up and kicked me out.
    It only got worse after that.

    • @krixxka
      @krixxka Год назад +9

      Oh no 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I am really sorry to hear this. It's really saddening what happened with you. I hope you are alright now 😭😭😭

    • @Dorydreory
      @Dorydreory Год назад +6

      What the hell. Report him to the police

    • @lauriegentry7764
      @lauriegentry7764 Год назад +8

      @@Dorydreory the police told me to be quiet about it, unless I wanted to go into the foster care system. I just ended up living with different friends until I was old enough to get a job.

    • @lauriegentry7764
      @lauriegentry7764 Год назад +11

      @@krixxka thank you. It was long ago now. I’m still working through the mental health results, but, it’s important that more people become aware of these stories. I was in an upper class family. It’s not just a lower class problem. These abuses occur everywhere.

    • @Dorydreory
      @Dorydreory Год назад +1

      @lauriegentry7764 if hes continuing to do those things you should report to the police. Or if youre in danger. If its been a while maybe it might be better to let it go if youre independant. Forget them. Disgusting people. Make your own family and live happily.

  • @e3mel5eer83
    @e3mel5eer83 6 месяцев назад +1

    You are setting a great example for men to speak up! Instead of holding these stories inside of them and having it turn into rage! May god bless you

  • @Rythm123
    @Rythm123 Год назад +11

    You GENUINELY have SUCH a childlike happiness about you and for someone to rob such a part of you, I’m so sorry ❤️❤️❤️

  • @lebrown5075
    @lebrown5075 Год назад +115

    I LOVE his style of story-telling and overall demeanor! So honest and relatable. Thank you for sharing; this is important

  • @saism4570
    @saism4570 Год назад +58

    I remember when I dealt with stuff too as a kid I told myself I would never ever tell anyone about it. Over a decade later I finally spoke up to a therapist and cried my eyes out. As heavy and overwhelming as it was, it was the best decision.

  • @bangtanvmo5868
    @bangtanvmo5868 Год назад +14

    the fact that not everyone would understand the struggle and trauma after that happened is so sad. i took 3-4 years to finally tell someone

  • @sadelynn2235
    @sadelynn2235 Год назад +21

    When the dad called I cried real tears, thanks for sharing your story.

  • @iamjustsaying4787
    @iamjustsaying4787 Год назад +124

    I’ve heard this story from others. Always they tell their victims that they must be gay because they “seemed to enjoy it” psychopathy is strong with these men, it is.

    • @mcarthurspark8636
      @mcarthurspark8636 Год назад +39

      So many gay men go after straight men and its scary

    • @fiefie2031
      @fiefie2031 Год назад +34

      @@mcarthurspark8636 so many, the amount of men that have been drugged and raped by them is crazy, and no one talks about it for fear you'll be called homophobic

    • @hazelmint6671
      @hazelmint6671 Год назад +9

      @@fiefie2031 facts man

    • @mcarthurspark8636
      @mcarthurspark8636 Год назад +20

      @@fiefie2031 Exactly, I know a guy it happened to in the military. He went drinking with friends and got drugged and raped. He was never the same and had to be discharged after a breakdown.

    • @fiefie2031
      @fiefie2031 Год назад +12

      @@mcarthurspark8636 I know several men that were drugged and raped, it's not easy on them, this is why I tell straight men to be friends with gay men from a distance,it never ends well

  • @IkkyCeeee
    @IkkyCeeee Год назад +21

    The amount of people who can relate to this channel & these stories.. shattering heartache 😞😖

  • @CindyPaul
    @CindyPaul Год назад +16

    This is so heartbreaking. We as a society need to give men the space to be vulnerable to disclose these types of situations. I am so sorry this happened to him and he couldn't talk to anyone about it. It was not your fault and it was never your fault.

  • @nate2759
    @nate2759 Год назад +4

    I had a very similar story to yours when I was a teenager.
    Thank you for speaking out and God bless you.

  • @polop1746
    @polop1746 Год назад +5

    I cried at the moment you said you hope your siblings and your children will have a space to say something if it happens to them. That was profound for me. I was molested when I was about 5 and again when I was 12. I always thought I knew who the person was when I was five, but after hearing stories of my brother’s depression, I think it may have been him. Regardless, the part of your story that hit me was the hope my children would be brave enough to say something. I wish I had your bravery to tell my children. Thank you so much for sharing x

  • @suzie830
    @suzie830 Год назад +3

    My heart is bursting with love for Loward. His strength and perseverance is awe inspiring. ❤️

  • @justyolanda904
    @justyolanda904 Год назад +45

    I'm really sorry this happened to you. I like your positive energy and vibe. You have no idea how much your story inspires to be brave and strong.

  • @cutiea6
    @cutiea6 Год назад +19

    It takes so much courage to share your story. You're helping so many people with your story. He made out like you did something wrong and you didn't.

  • @kimross6272
    @kimross6272 Год назад +12

    I was sexually assaulted by a foster grandfather when I was 12-14 when I was forced to stay overnight with them. I never told my foster mother because she was abusive and it took me a long time to get over not having anyone I could tell. I applaud you for speaking up and also for sharing your story. More people need to hear that it is okay to speak up and seek help. You are amazing.

  • @sage-kc3px
    @sage-kc3px Год назад +3

    Even though there are tremors in his voice when he recalls his experience, he is such a strong soul to come out and speak about this, hopefully one day I have his strength in me

  • @katetroyer9204
    @katetroyer9204 Год назад +3

    Thank you for sharing your story. I consider it a sacred gift. Your courage and transparency is a gift for all those who yet suffer in silence.

  • @aestheticemotionghl4002
    @aestheticemotionghl4002 Год назад +61

    You sure the guy didn't drug you? It's odd how you knocked out and didn't remember things clearly before waking up. If you forgot the whole thing then I would've considered it as your brain blocking out traumatic memory, but you remembered the assult when you woke up so I find it kind of fishy. I'm glad you're okay now and God's got you. Your story kind of reminds me of my ex-husband. We were married, but he would often say how he hoped to get me drunk so he can do stuff to me while I'm out cold. I don't drink, and I found what he said odd. Since I worked, went to school, took care of our kid, and did all the chores without help... I was often exhausted to the point where I would knock out bad and became a deep sleeper. There were times I woke up in the same situation you were in.. no difference. I would raise my voice and argue with him about how disgusting he was, and that he should've woke me up instead of doing what he did. He said sorry, but it happened again multiple times over the years. It's the way he does it.. like he's a thief and a predator of the night, and it turns him on and satisfies him to do that. He's not sorry and it's intentional. Long story short, I figured why he and his whole family was so problematic and confusing: covert narcissists. If you come from a normal enough family without toxicity... you'd feel something isn't right about someone, but you can't identify it yet. When I watched your video.. I knew.. your attacker was also a narcissist.

  • @BassBwoy3
    @BassBwoy3 Год назад +20

    Wow…I never understood what a male rape victim would feel, but it’s unbelievably clear now. The shame. The disgust in your own body. The questions and lies you have to fight in your head. This is the definition of trauma. Thanks for sharing your story. Takes more courage than you know.

  • @Leene15
    @Leene15 Год назад +127

    I think he allowed so many crossed boundaries because he was scared of him

    • @goodbher9244
      @goodbher9244 Год назад +59

      That's how these things happen yeah.

    • @mizzhelloo
      @mizzhelloo Год назад +50

      He described the predator as a big Black guy so it’s pretty clear why.
      The guy also sounds manipulative which brings on more feelings of fear.

    • @amyamnyWhatsYourName
      @amyamnyWhatsYourName Год назад +21

      That's cuz when these extremely shocking situations happen ,it takes the victim a lot of time to process and realize what's happening and they just can't believe it !

    • @gameon8790
      @gameon8790 Год назад

      Been there

    • @povang
      @povang Год назад +6

      The majority of Asian men in the world are super timid and dont like confrontation.

  • @elviraj1971
    @elviraj1971 Год назад +17

    May you be healed and may you see the light from this horrible experience 🙏

  • @robindwanhinojos2993
    @robindwanhinojos2993 Год назад +163

    I am so sorry this happened to you. But you are so brave to tell your story so that others can be made aware that they aren't alone. I was abused as a child, and I didn't tell anyone until I was in my teens and it killed me. But every year I got better. Hang in there! You got this! ❤️🙏❤️

  • @yeseniazepeda7169
    @yeseniazepeda7169 Год назад +1

    He so cute with his smile 🥺 I hope he heals and lives happy for the rest of his life 🙏🙏💕

  • @carlanwake439
    @carlanwake439 Год назад +19

    Such a brave young man! So very proud of you!

  • @dootzy3671
    @dootzy3671 Год назад +10

    I hope he sees this video to not relish but to see how much stronger you are than him and that he can’t break you anymore.

  • @anisha407
    @anisha407 Год назад +6

    Very pure soul you can just tell. Your strength is admirable Loward I wish you the best in life.

  • @amclaudet
    @amclaudet Год назад +13

    Such a genuine guy. High five. You obviously come from a good family

  • @MIRofTV
    @MIRofTV Год назад +17

    I'm crying, I'm so sorry you had to go through this buddy. Thank you so much for being brave and sharing your story with us, I'm positive this has helped many others out there who had similar experiences.

  • @KatherineUribe-1
    @KatherineUribe-1 Год назад +6

    Thank you for your honesty and bravery! So many men quietly die inside because they fear to speak of sexual abuse they've experienced. By making this video you give others the courage to be open about their own abuse and perhaps seek help.

  • @kimberlybaldridge5767
    @kimberlybaldridge5767 Год назад +18

    Thank you for your great courage in telling your story. It is rare to hear men talk about this even though it happens to them too. I have had two men in my life who told me that they had been assaulted in this manner as young teenagers. It's hard to think about their pain and the undue social shame of being a male victim. You also have given words to an experience I had in high school almost 30 years ago. Thank you.

  • @chewingpeppers
    @chewingpeppers Год назад +12

    this is heartbreaking, but I'm so glad you found such an amazing support system. thank you for sharing your story, I'm sure that you're already helping and bringing comfort to many people who went through similar situations 💜

  • @stevenbabe3288
    @stevenbabe3288 Год назад +10

    Wow this was powerful story and I thank you so much. I suffered years of physical and sexual abuse as a child and sexual attacks as an adult. Fight,flight, and freeze are common reactions to attacks. I have frozen many times in attacks even after I would say never again would that happen to me. I was how I survived my abuse and its how a lot of people survive. I hope you were able to file a police report and charges against this guy so he never does it again. You probably were drugged on the last attack and i am sure he did this to many people and will continue till he is caught. i give you a lot of credit for telling this story. There is a book called victims no longer which helped change my life. i also have spent 4 years in group therapy which really helped me so much.

    • @rosemarypark6093
      @rosemarypark6093 Месяц назад +1

      Good on you for doing so much to help you heal. ❤❤

  • @itzlexxii
    @itzlexxii Год назад +1

    This completely broke my heart to hear, I’m so sorry you had to experience this

  • @dreyspringle516
    @dreyspringle516 Год назад +4

    I was holding back tears the entire time but when Lorward started crying I lost it! 😭

  • @emilynorton1
    @emilynorton1 Год назад +6

    I survived a sexual assault on a blind date. I’m glad you came forward with your story and you are healing well.

  • @nvmee8
    @nvmee8 Год назад +60

    Wondering if he was caught hoping more than anything! Thank you for being so awesome and using your experience to help others 💜

    • @WudEvZ
      @WudEvZ Год назад +7

      I’m wondering if he targeted children at any point.

    • @peacheskong2245
      @peacheskong2245 Год назад +1

      ​@@WudEvZ Or if he will in the future, that Kyle dude is still fairly young meaning a lot of time for him to harm more people.

  • @esmeraldaverdin220
    @esmeraldaverdin220 Год назад +1

    I'm so sorry. 😢 I pray you heal and have complete peace.🙏

  • @ronnieking3848
    @ronnieking3848 Год назад +17

    I am so glad you were able to open up to the new counselor. You are a very kind and empathetic person and you did not deserve what happened to you. I do love that you have a group of friends that support you and receive your report. You are very brave to share your story.

  • @lucasgdrezes
    @lucasgdrezes Год назад +10

    The fact that he had guy friends willing to listen was a surprise to me. A lot of guys don't have that and keep piling things up inside them.

  • @ppw8716
    @ppw8716 Год назад +4

    I’m crying just listening to your ordeal. You’re a strong person for having the courage to open up and telling your story and using a traumatic experience and turning it to a positive. I’m truly sorry that you endured a harrowing behavior from someone who you considered a ‘friend’.

  • @Claudia-cr2pm
    @Claudia-cr2pm Год назад +24

    Man you can tell this guy has processed this with a therapist! Nothing but good karma coming off him and to him.

  • @nayomeer4736
    @nayomeer4736 Год назад +3

    This takes so much courage. Thank you for sharing. I hope this person was held accountable.

  • @shayflowers8471
    @shayflowers8471 Год назад +25

    Thanks for sharing the story. I had a similar experience by a friend. I tried opening up with other friends but they weren't receptive of it. I am looking forward to open in future after my healing journey. Seriously, these videos are so helpful.
    So if your gut says something's wrong it IS wrong indeed! Good job Loward Choi! You're a hero

    • @dedeag9300
      @dedeag9300 Год назад +2

      Awwww as a woman it's hard to have genuine friends. This guy is lucky he had his friends. You are a survivor and a strong person

  • @tonyas8872
    @tonyas8872 Год назад +1

    This story is so sad 😢 i have a son in college and i ask him all kinds of questions weekly. It comes from stories like this. My prayers for this young man

  • @MaryanneMonroy
    @MaryanneMonroy Год назад +35

    Thank you so MUCH for your vulnerability! This is how we all relate...through vulnerability. Your courage to speak out on this and share it with the world, will help someone else have the courage to speak out about their own experiences and heal. It's only healing from here on out🕊🙏🏼.

  • @dannmurray1199
    @dannmurray1199 Год назад +12

    I'm so sorry this happened to you....the betrayal, the awkwardness....leaving you to feel confused and possibly guilty if that was his agenda. Continue to heal and be true to you. Sending love.

  • @jaytriestoplay3647
    @jaytriestoplay3647 Год назад +7

    And bless Dad for being a real one, we love him for that, what a great father and mother you have❤ bless them forever!

  • @maricusa8046
    @maricusa8046 Год назад +1

    Bravo for you and your parents in exposing such a bad experience. God Bless.