I was assaulted in 1982. I am glad times are changing where a man can be open and heal from being a victim. I still struggle with healing. I am now 54.
I was assaulted the last year, and i'm struggling to keep my old lifestyle, i don't date men anymore, i just stopped having casual sex, cause the idea to be with another man makes me sick
That happened to my brother too. He was just 17 and his own best friend this to him. My brother was like a small child. He tried to commit suicide after the sexual assault. He was depressed. I’m so happy that my mum finally got the justice for Liam after fighting for him for 2 years! Now he is recovered. His social phobia is gone. My little baby is okay♥️
Psalm 34:18 *"The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit."* Matthew 11:27 *"Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."* John 6:37 Jesus says *"Everyone the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will NEVER drive away."* 🌱🙏🏽🤍
@@rachelbrown3766 Yhea yhea, im also pretty sure the bible says somewhere that when you rape a virgin you "have ;)" to marry her. But of course you wouldn't mention that in your comment 😂
Im so proud of you for coming out as sexually assaulted. I feel like its harder for boys/men because everybody always says that men cant be sexually assaulted which is quite frankly straight up bullshit
It’s toxic masculinity. Anyone can be assaulted. Toxic masculinity is why men are not likely to speak openly as adults that they were molested as children. It doesn’t matter they were little helpless kids. Toxic masculinity is still used to shame them. That shame is weaponized even more when assault happens to men as adults.
Why you are sorry for Andrew is stunning to me. Yes, every victim of sexual assault should be respected for what they have gone through. Willingly walking into a bathroom stall with another man to have sex, regretting it later, and making a claim of sexual assault is revolting behavior. Don't want to have sex, don't go into bathroom stalls and have sex of your own free will. Just say no and/or walk away.
If the other guy told Andrew to jump off a bridge would Andrew have jumped? What about the guy in the bathroom stall made Andrew go in with him? Could it be that he wanted sex so he went into one of the most profoundly private places known universally, where one defecates? Why is this not obvious. If anything, both young men should have been put on suspension for getting it on in a public place wherein Innocent students rightfully expect to be able to go to do their nonsexual bodily functions without having to deal with moans, groans, or whatever one does in private when engaging sex. Andrew, in my opinion, is no victim and did something indecent by calling this sexual assault.
Men Too!!!!!!!!! Yes this does happen to men. This Does happen to little boys!!!!! I can’t count how many men have share their stories with me. Women babysitters, their moms drunk friends🥃 their moms, grandmothers, aunts, The preachers wife, and the list goes on and on!!!! I am very old!!!! These men are very brave today!!! They share their stories for the world to see🌎 they will save lives, they will make a difference. Inspirational !!!!!!!!!!!! Men ☮️
@@sherryjackson8474 Don't people like you ever tire? Girls are not blamed for what they wear. Anyone that thinks raping a girl is dependent on what she was wearing is insane. Sane people don't think that way. So I say, stop throwing out nonsense.
'it's suppose to be more humiliating for me as a man to say that I've been sexually assaulted in some way. Because of what it means to be masculine and you don't let that happen to you.' This broke my heart for this is the very same reason I cry whenever I am storytelling my friends how I was sexually assaulted by my boss, a PASTOR.
Its always the priests and pastors who sexually assaults kids, they are so sex deprived that they see young kids as a terget to satisfy their sexual urges, the very people who we should respect and who should protect us are also the ones who traumatize us with their obscene acts. There are tonnes of documentaries about pastors/priests who molested their younger companions in the ministry. They make the house of God a living hell which is very disgusting🤮🤮🤮
@@HumanSagaVault --- *"... the very people who we should respect"?* *"Anyone who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities." ---Voltaire, paraphrased*
Andrew is an adult. Not a kid. We don't allow children to have sex for a reason. We don't allow adults to have children for a reason. Andrew and the other students were adults living in the school dorms.
I was assaulted in college when I was 17. He was like my big bro. He did not enroll the following semester. I never saw him again. Even now (I'm 38), I still have nightmares of my ordeal with the guy I looked up to in college.
Alex, did you follow another dude into a bathroom stall, because if you did, you should get help. If you were assaulted, you have my deepest sympathy, however, if you willingly had sex in toilet stall with another man, I say grow up and take responsibility for your actions. Andrew got off with another dude and he willingly followed him. The other guy was not a "big bro" to him. The other dude was a stranger that he followed and had "sex" with. That was the word Andrew used, sex. In my opinion, as an actual sexual assault survivor, you should join me and condemn Andrew for making a mockery of actual sexual assault.
@@BenjaminGolden-c5u I thought I was the only one who noticed that statement he made. When he said the guy MOTIONED TO HIM to go to the middle stall further into the bathroom that meant he had time to RUN and he didn't. So know, this is not an assault story in the least. This is the beginning of a gay porn saga. NOT INTERESTED.
@@BenjaminGolden-c5u When you uncover it the way you did the whole story becomes even more sickening. There are people who have LEGITIMATELY had the unfortunate experience of being raped and he is using the rape narrative to garner attention and undeserved sympathy. Glad you peeled the extra layer on this one. Never thought about the unfortunate fate of the other dude. SAD
I was molested at the age of 5. It was 5-6 times in a period of about 2 weeks, he was 16. for the next 15 years, I still had nightmares of him entering my room. In my dreams he became a monster, who would kill me if I moved or said anything. My sister met this man at the age of 22, and a party. She knew who he was. She told me later he was well known in his city. He has kids now. I have never identified him, nor confronted him,my memories are so altered by years of nightmares, and years of fear, its hard for me to recall the specifics. I can not trust my own memories, nor my own recollection. I just remember shart pain, and bloody sheets after each attack by the monster. I never told the housekeeper, or my absent parents, Just my sister. I still am hyper modest, and will not be in a room with any many I don't know very well, and will not share a room with any one.
Psalm 34:18 *"The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit."* Matthew 11:27 *"Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."* John 6:37 Jesus says *"Everyone the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will NEVER drive away."* 🌱🙏🏽🤍
I’m so sorry not only for what happened but by some of the negative comments. You very brave to speak up. At the same time when we do, the fear and panic may/ mostly happens over and over. May you find peace 🕊
I was sexually molested by three male family members . Much older then me. I was only 4 years old then it continued till 11 years old. The shame the guilt the rage the thoughts of suicide. It’s taken me years of counseling to get to a stage within my life I have freedom. It was never my shame , guilt, rage it was my ubusers. Yes I know as a male myself it’s hard to talk about . Silence is the true killer. I’ll never be silent no more.
William, for God's sake, you were a child. Andrew was an adult and he followed another dude into a toilet stall to get off. He could have said no, walked away, or whatever. Why are you identifying with this jerk?
I've been raped twice. The first time I got drugged at what a friend told me was going to be a house party back in 2014. As soon as I got there, he offered me a drink. I accepted because I thought I was early and wanted to relax. The next thing I remember is him on top of me taking my pants off and then I was out. I woke up next to him the next morning. He was twice my size so I waited for him to get up then I ran out of there as fast as I could . The second time was a few years later. I was out of state at a gas station I walked to because it was close to my hotel to pick up some snacks because I was expecting company. I thought it was going to just be a casual get together. But joke was on me, because the catfish showed up at the gas station, abducted me, then took me to his house, pulled me from the car, and then dragged me inside. I pleaded with him not to because I was still not ready for intimacy (a fact that cost me a relationship) but he didn't care and made me undress.
OMG, can I give you advice that save my life? Talk about it to anyone, everyone. Keeping it all caged in you will literally kill you. Tell your story, post it here. I did & was shocked by all the concerns. Telling your story could help someone who might get catfished just like you but not make it out. Your story is powerful, it caught my attention out of hundreds I had gotten. I hope this helps If you ever need to talk or help or just to say hi Trace
I was sexually assaulted in 2011 at my community college, in a bathroom, 500 feet away from the campus substation of the Los Angeles Sheriff's department. When I got away and got to the Sheriff's desk they did nothing...."But, you're a guy". They made no report. The next day I saw my attacker again on campus, he was a student. I went to my departments chair and told her what happened and that I was going to drop out. She took me to the sheriff office and demanded action, it was only then that they did a report. For 3 semesters I suffered seeing my attacker on campus and the Sheriff's nor the college did anything. I graduated but suffer from PTSD, and survived 4 suicide attempts. After I graduated, the college dropped my assault statistic from the catalog.
I feel so sorry for him. Thank you Andrew for your story. I was the victim of sexual assault at the age of 10 by my own family member (Cousin) and to this day, it still haunts me.
For God's sake, you were a child. Andrew was a college student that had consensual sex in a college-dorm bathroom stall and later had the guy he had sex with thrown out of the school because he claimed (somehow) that he was the victim even though it was he (Andrew) that followed the other guy into the bathroom stall. Stop confusing real victims which you were, with this creep Andrew. Andrew had bad sex, regretted it, and made a sexual assault claim. Listen to him in his own pathetic words.
Jamal, Andrew in his own words had sex in a bathroom stall with another dude. The dude motioned to him to come into the stall and he did. What in the hell are you sorry for him for. What happened to you was when you were a child. How can you insult yourself by making such a comparison??
You were ten, you did not and could not consent. Andrew was 18 and followed a dude in a public bathroom to have sex. Don't identify with him. What happened to you is a horror. Andrew had sex.
Unless you were sever sexually assaulted,, please never speculate. I am a heterosexual man who was drugged by a massage therapist and sexually assaulted. I was there only by virtue of the fact that I had been in a serious car accident. This "therapist" it's now in jail as he did this to 3 other people. Same tactic, he gave me a glass of water and what he told me was a muscle relaxer, but wad really a sedative. Within 30 minutes, I felt woozy and I told him I want feeling good. He said to try relaxing, he then smiled when he saw I could barely move, pulled down my pants and the rest I'll leave off here because it's too painful to type. I won a $20,000 lawsuit against the company and it still hadn't helped heal me. I totally believe thus guy. You don't know what you'd do until it happens to you.
Dude, I'm so sorry you had this experience. I'm glad you were bold and got justice. Did any of the other victims testify? I'm a victim's rights advocate and I think I remember this case was this over in Battle Creek, MI? Continue to speak out. Your are one of the many voices for silent male victims of sexual abuse and by letting your voice be heard, you don't realize the power you have in being able to save someone else or help someone else know they are not alone. Proud of you for speaking up.
John Willis being drugged and raped is legitimate. Being felt on....silent but coherent....and follow a man into a stall never saying no is not on any level what you went through
Nonsense John. It happened to you but it did not happen to Andrew. You were sedated, Andrew did not say no. Stop relating to anything that sounds like victimhood. What you're doing frankly is depraved and inexcusable. You should be ashamed of yourself comparing the horrors of real sexual assault and rape to this nonsense.
I was not sexually assaulted per se, but was bullied all thru public school. Many times teachers & office personnel saw it happen & they didn't do anything or just laughed it off. I had fantasies of doing something bad to the perps, but never did for fear of worse retribution. This happened on school buses too. I was so thankful that during my senior year, my best friend had me ride in his car.
Danhutson3460, I am a gay man growing up in a small rural area of 8,000 people. So, OMG been there right with you with the bullies. Bullies do this ignorant stuff when they feel threatened or afraid someone will recognize the attraction. Not always but a large percentage. It all changes once you get out of your hell. Find your chosen family, friends. Those bullies hit their peak in high school, where yours is coming & it will be huge.. if you need to talk I’m here Trace
Mark, respectfully, you are crazy. A guy who wanted sex came on to another dude and the guy said yes by not saying no. Not only that, he followed him into a bathroom stall. How about teaching men to act like men? We rightfully protect minors because they can't make informed decisions. We need to have men who are adults. What if there is a war and we need fighting men? Are you f--king kidding me?
@@tylerketchum3315 Tyler, grow up and stop being brainwashed. These were two homosexual men and their customs are different. Sadly, because of having to be secretive for many generations, things like having sex in bathrooms for some are still common. An act of agreeing to come into the stall is a nonverbal cue of saying yes. Then, further consent was given by not saying no. A young man who is not able to say no to an advance into a bathroom stall and then to boot, one that elects to stay there, is one who has the emotional maturity of a child and does not belong in an adult sleep-away environment such as a dorm. Everyone else need not act like a child to accommodate a "kid" who doesn't belong living an adult environment. We are dumbing down adulthood to infantilize. Again, what if God forbid there is a war and we need young men with the backbone to fight it? A young man who can't say no to an advance and in so doing actively participates is a disturbed individual. ...and when and if he grows up, he should seek to in whatever way possible to spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to the other boy who committed only the crime of being an "highly-sexed" young men propositioning another--he won't have been the first sex-driven young guy who somewhat aggressively seduced another person. This somewhat new rap panic is highly orchestrated by a criminal justice system somewhat at the mercy of a feminist dogma that is extreme. Some rape cases were not treated seriously years ago and this was wrong, very wrong, however, with that said, this nonsense is extremest and unethical and zealots like you ought to be ashamed of yourself for going along with it and creating abject hysteria in the process.
Michael Did you watch the video? Not only he SAID he was not interested, his account is exactly how panicked reactions follow: frozen by fear. Abscence of "no", thus, obviously doesn't mean consent. It takes a minimum of discernment to not continue touching a person who is clearly shocked and afraid. Plus, its a gross and fallacious observation you made on gay men. If two gay men walk into a bathroom, it does not follow necessarily that they will have sex, and we cannot blame sexual assault victims for simply exercising their right to freely move around without being constricted by these generalizations. And then you speak of backbone... yes, maybe if he said something or reacted in a firmer way, it wouldn't have happened. But we can't demand that - we need to demand people (mostly men, and I say this as one) to stop feeling entitled towards others' bodies. Blaming the victims lack of reaction is nonsensical when we should strive, first and foremost, for doing so with the agressor's reaction. This also says much, indirectly, about the absolute irrelevance of yours comments about war. I know this comment is 6 months old, but I cannot abide to stay in silence before it.
There’s something about this story that doesn’t feel right to me. I’ve experienced sexual abuse as a child and was raped as a young adult. I volunteer my time in counseling/mentoring sexually exploited teens and rape survivors. I’ve heard the stories told by the victims themselves and yet somehow, I don’t feel as if this guy was actually raped or if he’s just trying to turn what he ultimately felt was an unsavory encounter into a story of rape. In telling it, he’s almost dead pan and the descriptions come across as studied. As if he read about how one might react after a sexual assault. Particularly when he talks about the auditorium filled with 5000 other students and how he felt “alone”and spoke of “tunnel vision” and his “throat clenching”. It didn’t come off as genuine, but instead rather cliché. When he talks about only having had five previous encounters with guys and then mentions with an air of disgust that this incident took place in a bathroom, you can almost see a very slight smirk cross his face when he begins telling it and then again at the very end. I watched a couple times just to see if I was merely projecting, but there’s no emotion in his eyes. No feeling conveyed, nor projected. There’s almost a disconnect to the recanting of the story itself as if told by someone who didn’t actually experience it. It seems strange that he seemed more mortified by where it happened rather then it happening at all. In all my experiences I’ve never heard someone speak in the way of location as a matter of importance. I also question his saying that “it all ended” when he read the letter in the Dean’s office. Trauma Isn’t something that suddenly disappears overnight. Over time you learn ways to deal with it and move beyond it, but it’s always there and forever will remain a part of you. It doesn’t just suddenly end. I know of people who have tried to turn sexual encounters into stories of sexual assault and I know of people who have flat out lied. I’m not saying that this guy is completely falsifying the incident, I’m just finding it hard to believe that he’s been entirely truthful.
Don’t base his story off of other stories you have heard. Everyone heals differently. Everyone tells their story crying, angry, or just plain out calm and “normal”.
I tend to agree that something in this story is off....being touched repeatedly against your will is technically "assault", however, saying he "motioned me into one of the stalls"??? after being groped?.....unless physically "dragged" leave.
George Yeck-Ozark Exactly. He had two choices. Either walk in one direction towards the exit, or the other direction, towards the stalls. Freely. Perhaps maybe with some slight reservation, but nonetheless willingly. The other guy wasn’t behind him shoving him in. Apparently he was already in the stall and non-threateningly motioned him over. He was bothered that it happened in a public bathroom, but gives absolutely no indication of any of it being forced.
The worst one happened when I was younger than 9. This man who was a family friend showed me his penis. I ran as fast as I could and told my mom, but she didn’t believe me at the time. I was a very unruly child always getting into trouble. Even though I had forgot the image. The emotion I can’t forget. Fear, and a great sense of betrayal. Because it was done by a family friend. Even when that person was out of my life when my mom told me he was getting married. My stomach turned. I have never mentioned this to my mom as an adult because I just want to keep it in the past. Parents please listen to your kids when they talk to you.
You were under nine. Andrew was an adult and walked into a bathroom stall. One can say you were a victim but no one in their right mind can say Andrew was a victim. He followed the other guy into the stall and had "sex." Yes, in Andrew's own words, he had sex in the bathroom. He is a hysterical pathetic man to have regret of his sex and blame the other dude.
So you regret tricking in the bathroom drunk.......the ruin someone’s college career? Because they came on to you and you didn’t say no........special word for you.....
I have a lot of male friends who joke around a lot about sex, and they always seem happy and feel okay about it. And I thought that ALL boys would be okay and feel cool if someone (especially a girl) asaulted them. But I feel sorry for the guys out there like Andrew who hate sexual assaulted. No one should act inappropriately to touch other people's private areas
I wa a victim too, my step cousin and his friends done horrible things to me, they done this while i was 16 to 20 years old, now i'm 21 i moved to India and i feel safe rather than i was in Germany.
The guy motioned him into the cubicle ? So did he walk in by himself I didn't hear him say he was pushed in ? This doesn't sound right I wouldn't explain a sexual assault as doing things
That is pretty much a very weak and vulnerable area for a guy. So if someone grabs us there we are pretty much at their mercy. The pain can be intense easily inflicted. So he was sorta but not really held at gun point and was motioned to the stall. Plus the dude is in obvious fear. When fear has a grip on someone if the don’t run then they feel powerless.
@@Straumnes Rape is not about imposing one's physical power on another but power play,there's a difference between the first being physical and the second psychological. You think not even a single young female Hollywood star coming out in MeToo was "physically" stronger than a washed up wrinkled geezer like Weinstein they are accusing ? Rape is not about physical strength always. If you think he cannot be a victim because it's a HE,then, putting it kindly, you're rather petty and ignorant.
This guy is so clearly himself guilty. He had sex in a bathroom stall having willfully joined the other dude and then had the other dude expelled. This guy is vile. I find it sick that people on this post are on his side.
I was sexually assaulted by my dad i was 8 years old even today I still struggle I have trust issues that's probably why I never got married the pain never goes away but it does get better I've been going to therapy for 6 years and it has helped me out so much so my prayers are with anybody that had to go to this horrible experience but please don't let it hold you back in life get some help don't let that person ruin your life you can make it I did God bless everyone out there that ever got hurt my prayers are with you God bless you all
For God's sake, you were a helpless child. This Andrew was an adult and he followed the other dude into a bathroom stall. He deserves no mercy and our deep condemnation for calling what happened sexual assault.
Hello, you were 18 years old. If you cannot even fight back when someone attacked you. even my small dog knows how to bite me if i tried to cut his nails.
Men like Andrew should be judged and be condemned without mercy. He has done a terrible thing by ruining the other guy's life, a dude btw, he had sex with because he followed him and did not indicate no.
Why are you encouraging Andrew? Clearly this kid is so lost as he is not fit to protect himself in the most basic of ways. If someone motions to him to jump out the window, would he jump. If he gets toward the window and that person is lifting him up to throw him out the window will he freeze up and not say, no, or push back, or run or scream or whatever. It's a sickness that is happening at colleges and stop feeding it. Imagine if we had a war and we had to draft young men. Are you kidding me siding with this weakling of a grown man. We need to encourage him to be a man, not a boy, and have agency. It's his body and if he doesn't want to be touched, he has to do whatever necessary to make that clear. The other guy came onto him so big deal. I am straight and if a guy grabbed my crotch, I would just say, Not into that. I wouldn't have him expelled or prosecuted. Sorry, but it's not the same as if someone pinned me down and forced me. Get a grip Andrew defenders. As for concerning himself with masculinity, Andrew doesn't have to worry. A man can resist following another man into a stall.
@@Michael-te7fj he didn’t know how to react he was scared. He was touched very inappropriately and nobody cares what you would do he is a man being a little “weaker” doesn’t make him any less of a man he is still one. Your the real weakling because I bet if someone pushed you into a stall you’d freeze too
I was 14 when I was raped I am now 61 and have carried it all these years,constantly coming to the front of my mind it’s like a ghost haunting me.this is the first time I have put anything down in black and white.
Well done for speaking out Andrew. My ex-boyfriend of 5 years decided to abuse me psychologically and emotionally by watching gang rape videos and softcore peadophille ones too( for 4 days relentless)while laying and masturbating on the bed next to me. He was semipotent and the times we had sex he was weak and uninspiring. He has been thoroughly reported and revealed after he confessed to me that he is a child groomer and rapist. After the sheer horror I found strength to expose him everywhere. I hope he never hurts anyone ever again.
Why didn't you walk or run away when the child porn was being played. I wouldn't ever watch that crap and no one could make me unless I was tied up or held by gunpoint. Four days, I assume you got up to take a leak, why didn't you leave? Andrew walked into a toilet stall and no one forced him. Neither you nor he should be in adult situations if you cannot say no to illegal or immoral or uncomfortable behavior. You could have been prosecuted for watching that material with your boyfriend and perhaps you should have been because by not walking away your participated. If the two of you were on a hike and your boyfriend started up with a child, would you have stayed with him for four days and watched. Respectfully, I think you need professional help and your boyfriend needs it to and legal investigation as well. You say you exposed him, what about exposing your own culpability for watching that stuff. I find it grotesque that two grown men could watch that crap.
if he motioned you into the center stall & you went ... you weren't forced than you sort of went along with it , told him it was OK, if you were not in the stall it would not have happened, I am so sorry but this sounds like every gay bathroom cruse ever. Now if you said no & he still forced or dragged you into the stall, or even if he befriended you then drugged you or took advantage of you while you were passed out that would be assault. I say this from a place of trying to understand, I myself was a sexually assaulted. This just comes off like regret for doing something in a bathroom with a random guy. I am sorry this happened to you but regret is different.
My comment may be unpopular, and I don’t mean it as an attack on anyone except perhaps Andrew’s counselors. And I recognize there may be painful, personal details Andrew is omitting out of privacy, and those details (if I knew them) might change my opinion. On the basis of the information presented this is how I feel: I don’t think the actions he describes amount to an assault. The other student flirted with him, touched Andrew’s crotch over his clothes, said “nobody has to know” and motioned him into a bathroom stall, and Andrew followed. I’m missing any element of force, coercion, or intimidation. Andrew specifically said the other student “motioned” him into a stall-that means he was free to ignore the other student and walk away. Based on the actions described I feel bad for Andrew having to think he is a victim of anything, and it looks to me like his counselors failed him in a major way. They should’ve asked him to explore his feelings that motivated Andrew to follow that student into the stall, and make him feel ok about his sexual curiosity and exploration. It sounds like they did the opposite, and made him believe he was a victim of something. So his counselors really created a victim, and ultimately got another student expelled over this encounter. I’m generally a very sensitive person who would always stand up for a victim, it’s hard for me to even make this comment. I feel like this video should not have been made, or if there are other painful details (that should remain private) but really make the assault more clear, then the video should have shared those details but protected Andrew’s identity. As it currently stands, this video feels irresponsible to me, it lowers the bar of what sexual assault means.
You saved me. Your courage is tremendous. Sorry for my bad English ( I am not a native speaker). I was raped as a little kid from a "teacher" and then later again at a "Christmas party" where I work. 95% of all men who have been sexually assaulted don't report the crime. I will seek help. Thanks
I can't believe the negative comments on here and that people are still so uneducated when it comes to understanding sexual assault. This is exactly why so many men that are victims of sexual abuse remain silent and suffer terribly, and why it is so easy for the perpetrators to get away with it. And by the way it is very common for a victim to have forced physical arousal by an abuser which is why it is so emotionally damaging. Some victims fight back, some flee and some freeze. All are common reactions. The abusers know how to take advantage of their victims psychologically. Please quit being such hateful people, educate yourselves and learn some compassion.
With all due respect, you have no idea what goes on in gay male culture. If a man willingly accepts an invitation into a stall, it sure isn't to discuss the upcoming football game.
No Julie, you educate yourself and stop following feminist talking points. Freezing up is exceptionally rare and doesn't apply to young men following other young men into bathroom stalls. ...and it is you that should stop being hateful assuming women (or men) don't lie.
It is not hateful to disagree with your premises. Freezing is somewhere between rare and nonexistent. Stop reading feminist nonsense which today has no peer reviewed studies to prove what it claims. Women fought hard for the rights to have sexual agency, not to be the wallflowers that can't speak for themselves that you seem to endorse. You education yourself and you stop being hateful because throwing out nonsense can cause people to be misinformed. Sexual assault is a horrible crime; not everything is sexual assault including walking into a bathroom stall. If one is stupid enough to do so, then they should reflect on it and grow from it and look inward into what the hell is wrong with them. Stop protecting a grown man that wants to act like a child and live in an adult world.
My brother survivors finally getting to be part of our collective voice. Speak, you’re valid and deserve to be heard. You did NOTHING wrong, it was and is all on them- NOT YOU.
I'm sorry, but I have to say I don't agree with this story amounting to a sexual assault. I respect that this guy is advocating for victims, and I commend him on going public for male victims. However, what he described does not sound like anything more than a misunderstanding and perhaps a tragic issue of inexperienced perception. Encounters such as this are common in the gay community, and the alleged attacker may have interpreted this guy's hesitation to engage with him as (often very typical) nervousness about "giving in" to homosexual activity (a common internal battle for gay men who aren't yet fully accepting of themselves). I honestly feel this issue could have been resolved simply by having a conversation between the two parties (facilitated or non). I think expulsion was quite an extreme position to take in this case, considering the story shared in the video and the social factors I outlined above. I feel that this guy (unintentionally) trivializes the experience of sexual assaults between gay men. We have all had sexual encounters we might regret in retrospect, or feel "low" about - this is called learning and experimenting!
First off, I don't think this man has a problem with his sexuality. He admitted to being with guys prior & before the incident said he was not interested. The attacker had 2 prior interactions that were reported; one can be a misunderstanding but 2 more after that is no misunderstanding; and that's just the ones that were reported, hopefully no more occured
What about the issue of gay guys having sex in public toilets? This is a normal thing for gay guys to have sex in bathroom stalls at public toilets. Please, a straight guy would never follow another guy into a toilet stall. It's disgusting and uncomfortable for straight guys when they try to use the toilet in a public bathroom and have gay guys trying to peek into the stall, not to mention hearing the sounds of gay guys groaning & moaning in the other stalls. It's so disgusting for straight men to tolerate this. Can you imagine these gay guys having sex in bathroom stalls while the stench of ass and shit permeates the air? Well, that's what straight guys have to tolerate when they use a public toilet. I'm sorry, but gay guys are judged by what they do like everyone else, and having sex in public toilets is utterly disgusting. This video should be about rape among gay men.
Except this ... some victims of sexual assault have been conditioned in their childhood to.comply with sexually aggressive adults. And submission does not mean consent. Even if he is gay, if he didn't want it from that partner it still amounts to rape. No still means no regardless of the sexual orientation.
danielleaparis if this behavior would only belong to gay guys. Near 60-70% of the male population in same city's would be gay or bi. This behavior is more common than you would think.
This is so powerful. I was sexually assaulted around the same time. I was ashamed to complain and held on to the shame for years. One man, a cab driver apologized which was small compensation but not the others. I always felt that I was responsible.
Powerful, this was pathetic, not powerful. Andrew has sex in a bathroom, has the other dude he had sex with expelled and you call this powerful. This is abject weakness. Andrew appears to be a feckless, disturbed, histrionic, weak male and we should all condemn him for making a mockery of sexual assault claims.
I wish I knew more as a kid....I was sexually assaulted by my brother, my cousin, my town's priest and I had to believe all that was normal so I could survive. Believe it or not all those memories stayed with me my whole life, I am a marked person
He clearly stated that the guy "motioned" for him to go into a stall. The moment he entered the stall would certainly indicate consent in my opinion. He may have changed his mind afterwards but it seems he was sending mixed signals at the very least.
He grabbed his crotch without consent, which made him freeze. He never said yes. Scary that you think this is consent. Please never assume. Always go for an enthusiastic yes.
When sexual assault happens, not everyone has a fight or flight reaction. Some people freeze by feeling powerless and mentally space out. Sometimes the rapist will order the victim to take off their clothes and out of fear they comply. They didn’t want to take their clothes off. Just because they did, it doesn’t mean they were giving consent. They most certainly didn’t want to be sexually assaulted. It wasn’t a hookup regret. It was rape.
@@fzb5383 Oh God forbid. Of course no one should grab anyone's anything but let's stop making young men into pussies and excuse my vulgarity but come on. Think of the brave men that enlisted in WW 2 and then think of this creepy guy who walks into a bathroom stall. The hell with enthusiastic yes, sex is complicated. No Means No is fine. No means No does not mean a man can't try to seduce someone by making a motion to a bathroom stall although it's gross. No means no could lead to a classier, "can I give you my number should you change your mind," or "are you sure," or something more reasonable. Also, it appears these guys are homosexuals. Whether or not you like it or like it, culturally not all groups have the same norms. I don't know personally about this but from everything I have heard, the culture among these men is far more sexually wild so I can't judge what I don't know. In my opinion, you are buying into the modern day feminist histrionic nonsense put forth by a disturbed minority of bitter women that hate sex, hate men, or are both bitter and hate men. No man has ever touched me but if one did, it wouldn't be the end of the world. I wouldn't hit the guy, I wouldn't freak out, I would say "get the hell away from me," and forget the matter by the next day. Stop encouraging those that want to be victims to act that way when they are not. Holocaust survivors often don't sound as victimized as poor Andrew who walked into the stall. The freezing theory is just that. People don't freeze. Tell them to jump off a bridge, and they don't jump. You are buying into nonsense that is not backed up by research.
I find it strange that he was “motioned” to the stall, isn’t that where you say no? He was not dragged into it or forced to do anything by his own description. There are sexual assaults out there and I find it difficult to believe the huff post could only find this tepid story.
a a I could see that if a weapon was involved but the guy just motioned to the stall. Instead of walking to the stall why did he not walk out the door?! He was under no obligation or duress to go to the stall. It’s all very strange.
@@TWalsh-ji7jh The assailant was rejected by Andrew. His response was to grab Andrew’s genitals which made Andrew go into shock and his mind froze. When you’re in that shocked state, your mind goes into autopilot and he complied when motioned into the stall when he otherwise would not have if he wasn’t in that shocked state. Not everyone has a fight or flight response. Some people physically and mentally freeze when they really do want to run. People’s minds and bodies don’t always react the way they want when in a threatening situation.
Yeah, except this was not sexual assault. Andrew willing walked into a bathroom stall with another man and had sex. Let's not dumb down sexual assault to the point where it is meaningless. Sexual assault is a very series crime. This was not that!
He made the wrong decision. As a grown man that had sex in a public bathroom, he is accountable for breaking the school rules; not to blame the other guy.
Matt Howland went into shock really that sounds like if I did not like it latter on then I all ways can say "I went into shock" standing in court of law. Think about it?
RunnerEye that's exactly what happened no one forced him in there. Maybe the dick wasn't big enough so now he's screaming rape. Imagine that you sleep with a woman or a man it's all consensual the next day she screams or he screams rape all because she/ he regrets it! what a joke.
It wasn't a case of buyers guilt he didn't consent he didn't want it he was violated rather it was miscommunication or a guy that just thought it was ok to force the issue and aggressively take what he wanted then say well he didn't fight back if this had been a girl they would have easily been called sexual assault
... Did you read the ending disclaimer at the end of the video. The same guy that assaulted him had assaulted two other people. He had a history of that behavior. If this guy hadn’t stepped forward and expose him he would have continued to assault other people in that school.
@@Tonytrekdax Past behavior does not prove guilt. Perhaps like Andrew, the other guy liked getting off in bathrooms and the school had put him on warning. Don't believe everything you read especially when it is about a penis so to speak. The notion of a penis makes everyone lose their mind.
I politely refused a man who was following me that I was not interested. I was 18 at the time and was taking some evening classes. I decided to come to class early one evening and the teacher was not in class. So I was alone, waiting for my teacher when this same man showed up with a blade and got really close to me and said “I will kill you…don’t think you’re better than me” he grabbed my shoulder as to pull me close to him but thankfully he stop and left when when we heard the teacher approaching. I was scare that I couldn’t concentrate. This was in 1994 before cellphones so I couldn’t just call someone or Uber. I had to walk to the metro by myself (I didn’t tell anyone what had happened) scared but also vigilant in case he popped up. Needless to say I did not return the next day and transferred to a different school. What’s crazy is that I have never told anyone…this is the first time I’m “saying” it.
My comment may be unpopular, and I don’t mean it as an attack on anyone except perhaps Andrew’s counselors. And I recognize there may be painful, personal details Andrew is omitting out of privacy, and those details (if I knew them) might change my opinion. On the basis of the information presented this is how I feel: I don’t think the actions he describes amount to an assault. The other student flirted with him, touched Andrew’s crotch over his clothes, said “nobody has to know” and motioned him into a bathroom stall, and Andrew followed. I’m missing any element of force, coercion, or intimidation. Andrew specifically said the other student “motioned” him into a stall-that means he was free to ignore the other student and walk away. Based on the actions described I feel bad for Andrew having to think he is a victim of anything, and it looks to me like his counselors failed him in a major way. They should’ve created a safe space for Andrew to explore the feelings that motivated him to follow the other student into the stall, and make Andrew feel ok about his sexual curiosity and exploration. It sounds like they did just the opposite, and made him believe he was a victim of something. So his counselors really created a victim, and ultimately got another student expelled over this encounter. I’m generally a very sensitive person who would always stand up for a victim, it’s hard for me to even make this comment. I feel like this video should not have been made, or if there are other painful details (that should remain private) but really make the assault more clear, then the video should have shared those details but protected Andrew’s identity. As it currently stands, this video feels irresponsible to me, it lowers the bar of what sexual assault means.
@@richardmayora1289 I haven’t heard of that so maybe I am completely missing something, “ignorant” as you say. I will definitely look into that. In the meantime, if you could share a perspective of this incident from the framework of fight/flight/freeze that you mentioned I would greatly appreciate it. I don’t see where he did any of the three. He certainly didn’t “freeze,” the other student waved him into an empty stall and he followed. Speaking generally and not about this video directly, sometimes in life we encounter people who are more sexually experienced or adventurous than ourselves. We may find their actions unexpected and provocative. We can choose not to participate. But we should also feel free to choose to participate if that’s what we want. If ultimately we don’t like our choice we can learn from that and possibly decide differently in the future.
You are being too kind and appear to be a youngish person. Why in the hell should the s. chool be involved with this at all and why should a school be creating a safe space for Andrew? The school should have said, "do you want to be expelled Andrew, because you and another dude had sex in the public school bathroom?" I would have given the young men a warning for having sex in a bathroom and that's the end of it. I understand you are a sensitive person but what you are proposing is madness. These are grown men. In another generation, they would be fighting in a world war at age 18. We need adults that are real men, not boys. If Andrew cannot resist the advances of another man, he does not belong in an adult atmosphere. We must not cater to those that are histrionic or have other personality disorders which I think is what you are in effect proposing.
My heart goes out to all victims of sexual assault; male and female. However, being neutral-minded on the matter (remember, we're not hearing the 'assailant's' side of the story right now), as much as no one deserves to be sexually assaulted/raped/molested/threatened, I think it's also terrible that an unwanted touch in the bathroom could lead to an expulsion. So far, I gather that Andrew was harassed and that subsequently seeing his harasser again gave him gave him psychological inhibitions. Was that all that occurred, or was there perhaps more? Regardless, is it possible that the perp himself had suffered homophobic oppression due to an anti-gay environment which he was upbrought? Maybe he himself is a victim who never had the chance to learn how to express his sexuality in an appropriate, healthy manner. All the while he could be a very nice, decent guy who had so much to contribute to society. See? we as spectators of this video don't know the whole story; we may be supporting one victim, while promoting the oppression of the other. That, to me, is just as terrible as not believing a male survivor of assault. My little 2 cents here.
Oh please. If you're a grown man, heterosexual or homosexual, and another man motions to you to go into a stall or for that matter to jump off a bridge, if you do, your a moron and should not be in an adult environment. The school should have thrown Andrew out for daring to make this complaint and the grounds to expel Andrew could have been for getting off in a bathroom and potentially exposing other students to having to hear or see it.
@@Michael-te7fj “Oh please” yourself. You are being so judgmental and ignorant. Some people mentally and physically freeze when sexual assault is happening. Not everyone has a fight or flight response and you don’t know if you’ll freeze or flight until you’re in that situation yourself. People who did freeze surprised themselves that they didn’t run when they thought their instincts would tell them to do that. When people freeze, their brain goes into autopilot and they space out as they follow the orders of the assailant out of fear. You’re very keen on blaming and punishing the victim, saying he should have been the one expelled from the university and not the assailant. Your comment also comes across as homophobic with the disgust you expressed about any sexual activity happening in the men’s restroom. It’s apparent where your judgement is coming from.
@@Michael-te7fj I looked into you and I see now why you are particularly angry about this case. I am sorry for what happened to you. I really am. But what happened to you does not mean that Andrew was making false accusations. Do false accusations happen? Yes, tragically they do. But they are rare. Most accusations of rape are true and most rapes are never reported. Not all rapes happen the same way. Different people react differently. If you did not want it, it is rape. Being rejected does not excuse escalating the situation by grabbing the person’s genitals and doing sexual acts onto this person who already said no. It doesn’t matter after Andrew mentally froze when his genitals were grabbed that in his shocked state that he complied when the assailant motioned him into the stall. Andrew already said no. The assailant knew that. He didn’t care and then physically assaulted him. The assailant is guilty.
@@hindsightpov4218 When blacks and other minorities express opinions based on their experience, we do not discount their experience. The same should be permitted to the wrongly accused. That said, one's experience adds insight but can be challenged so you can challenge mine or anyone else's.. I would always thought Andrew is in the wrong. This is not complicated in my mind. He was not raped. He went into the stall and did not say no. He should not be an adult situation (a dorm) with such lacking maturity. Should I agree with your notion that he froze, which I don't buy, but should that be true, what kind of monster is Andrew to destroy the other person's life. The other person had reason to think Andrew was within the range of normal which would be someone that doesn't indicate "yes" when they mean "no." Where you are in error, is the notion that we must cater to the most disturbed people among us. We cannot, utopia is not a place. We cannot and must not cater to the hysterics among us. We can instead suggest that they get treatment and stay clear from adult situations they cannot manage.
Are you f==king kidding? If you walk into a bathroom stall in a dorm with another dude, have sex, you have consented. My God, the feminist talking points have got you hooked. You wrote this three years ago. I hope you have grown.
Wow. It's so sad that so many men are afraid to report because of the ideal that they should be "strong or fight back". Same for the people blaming and discounting Andrew's experience because he did not fight back. In the full article, it was published: "He came up behind Andrew, grabbed his crotch and moved him into the bathroom stall. Frozen, Andrew protested but did not fight back, scared of what would happen if he did. For 15 minutes the stranger assaulted him. Andrew has a hard time articulating what he felt during the assault. All he remembers is being unable to speak or act. “I just remember focusing on the stall door, knowing that he was between me and my escape.”"
Lila, women fought or the right to get raped in the early 1960s. They didn't want people like you keeping them safe. The man;s crotch was touched and he freaked out. He needs psychological help to empower himself. He is pathetic. He actually blames another guy for coming onto him. It's not the job of one who wants sex to be nice or read minds. The one who wants the sex need only understand the word No. The rest is your generation being puritanical sickos who are bored because you don't know what things like fighting a war are and you don't have any idea what oppression truly is as you parents have treated you like babies and did not let you grow up. This young man could have said No. He could have said F--k off. He could have run. He could have called out for someone to help. He could have taken out his fist. A man must learn to protect his body if he is going to freak out so easily. A man must learn to fight if he's going to be such a feckless human being. I would add to that, this young man is a heartless jerk for having the other guy expelled.
Tina: Give me a break. This freeze thing is made up nonsense. Perhaps one freezes when they are pinned down and feel their life is endanger. How are we going to send our young men to war if God forbid we are attacked? This young man is not fit to be away from home. It's not the guy who grabbed his crotch that is most problematic. It's Andrew. How do parents raise a boy who cannot say no once another man has grabbed toward his penis? This is as basic as tying one's shoelace. I don't think Andrew should be defended. I think he is right questioning his own masculinity as he did not act like a man--any kind of man. He acted like a child. I'm not saying guys should go around grabbing other guys crotches. That said, it's not the end of the world and resident assistant could have handled the entire matter. The grabber was probably drunk and probably Andrew not being able to say, "leave me alone" or "get the f out of here," was not clear. That said, once Andrew went into the stall with him, he became a willing partner. Andrew and the expelled young man were in a bathroom stall having sexual relations. Surely this is in the current handbook as improper sex. If another student had walked into the bathroom, that student would be innocent and perhaps feel humiliated. In normal times, none of this would be a big deal and the boys having sex in a bathroom stall would merely be met with shame as in the other students later saying this was not cool for the guys to be doing this in the bathroom. Given that these are not normal times, Andrew should have been thrown out of Brown for creating a hostile sexually intimidating atmosphere.
Rick, why do you even feel bad for him? I feel bad for the guy who was expelled. Perhaps he was a drinker and he was gay and many in their culture are sexually aggressive that way. It the times have called for a change in this way, then adjusting to this change rather than expulsion is called for. But forgetting about the accused, Andrew should not be coddled. If the other guy motioned Andrew to jump out the window would Andrew have done it?
He motioned me into the stall?… Not dragged not pushed? I know you’re not allowed to question anyone anymore, but I Can’t help but wonder how we got from knocking on the door to motioning into the stall to begin with when the guy already knew the other person’s eyes were on him. Seems a little inconsistent
Not inconsistent. Insane, and we better start questioning because this clip illustrates what happens to a society when we don't. The Andrews of the world get to define consent. God help us.
I feel so much for Andrew. I was not much older than him when an assault happened to me in Cambridge (Mass.) many years ago. All too often police, other relevant authorities do little, if anything.
What happened to him? Did you willingly walk into a bathroom stall when a freshman at college? I am sorry for what happened to you but what Andrew did was imo done with consent.
@@Michael-te7fj you know, it migtht seem that way but we do not know the exact circumstances entirely...but there is such a thing as, recognized legally, as duress or coercion that play into consent...a tricky issue legally but I does sound more like he, Andrew "went along" out of fear...that's coercion and not true consent, is it?
@@austinballard6815 Yes, it sounds like consent. Although it sounds cold to say that consent can include fear, it has to in instances like these or things will become even more chaotic. If we are to use fear as a reason to why Andrew could claim a lack of consent, we get into having the other student responsible for reading Andrew's mind. Reading minds in sexual situations is the worst of all worlds. Words as in "no," which doesn't preclude one asking a second time, and the need to say "no" a second time are a far better way to get points across than reading minds. Additionally, making consent simple is also best. No means no is just fine. Sometimes a no may switch to a yes, and that's a fact. At some point, for example, a grown man not walking into a bathroom stall with another man must be expected if he first says no, in other words, nothing says to me one has changed their mind much more than walking into a bathroom stall. We must not give into insanity for the sake of histrionics like Andrew, in order that all of the other sane students can if they are so inclined, change their minds in such situations which they often do. Human seduction is part of sex. Often one party has to entice or woo another one into the mood. Because Andrew is a hysteric and destroyed another human being's life as a result, the rest of humanity need not protect him. He was not fit to be an adult situation yet most other adults are. We don't protect those that drive just because they are of age if they can't see the road and demand to drive. The rest of us want to drive and incur the risk that being behind the wheel is. That said, if a blind man insists he has the right to drive and he insists we should support him when he causes a car crash and in addition, he wants to be paid damages, we should not indulge this madness. We should Not support this type of childish inability to make reasonable decisions. We could stop all driving because a blind man "should have the right to drive," but we don't, at least not yet. We can and sadly have extended sexual assault to mean a young adult man that cannot say no to walking into a bathroom stall? No, I say, let's make sure our adult men act like adults. Andrew was an adult and acting like a disturbed narcissist debasing the horrors that actual victims endure.
He is a man in age but a child in mentality. He got off in a bathroom stall with another guy and ruined the guys life later. Both young men should have been reprimanded for having sex in the school's public bathroom. I would not want to use a bathroom wherein people are having sex in a stall. The school took an action under Title Nine to protect themselves from lunatics like Andrew. Older people know this is insane. You should to. There is no there-there with this story.
Thanks, strong,n courageous wow thanks, not sure if I fit that mold but thanks. The rape was a piece of a huge section of my life that if I did not talk about it I was going to go insane, not kidding. I had finally found the love that I never thought would come, well he found me. Orlando was my absolute, complete, my all. He was a captain in the AirForce. I was in the hospital for a pretty bad car accident, which led to a situation even worse when was given medication I was allergic. This lead to both lungs collapsing, liver doubling, eye lids attaching to the eye ball, spinal collumn shifting. After a surgery where I was not given any pain meds & was completely awake during the surgery. I saw the scalpel slice my cornea then the doctor used tweezers to pull the cut cornea off my eye, did the same to the other then left. I was put back in a room where I remember looking down seeing myself with tubes going in & coming out everywhere. As I leaned back it was like a window that I was looking down at myself. Then everything was so bright, blinding but it did not blind my eyes. I could feel the warmth welcoming with this great joy. Then a man's voice said it was not my time & in a flash I was back. 6 weeks I was in that hospital fighting to be released. Later I found out that that mixup was never checked to see in my medical records because it does say about my allergies. That I had a less than 10% chance to LIVE. That the doctor after finding about my allergies put me back on the medication after he had known what it had done. After forcing the doctor my release I went home hoping to see Orlando had returned from fighting at war but he was no where. So I called this government agency to locate troops during active duty. It takes about a month, so I waited & still nothing. So after those very long waiting period I called him. Such a great kind man explained that Orlando had died. I kept hearing this screaming coming somewhere, but I was home alone, & in a flash I realized that painful scream was coming deep within me. There is so much more that I went thru. Years & years of depression that kept getting worse. So hard OMG no idea how bad all it was all happening at the same time. It is getting late, or rather early here. Maybe we can talk again.. Trace
Hug him? Why? This guy got laid in a bathroom stall after of his own free will having walked in there. These two with their homosexual copulation or whatever they were doing would expose other students to witnessing or hearing a sex act or at the very least see four legs in a stall when they walked into the bathroom. It's grotesque, albeit not the end of the world. Both these dudes should have received a warning from the school to stay out of sexual relations in the school's public areas.
Tina Lemus this viewpoint might be due to the fact he didn't get forcibly placed into that stall. Also, a key was needed to enter and he didn't have to open the door. However, none of that matters in court. The only thing that matters is once in the stall, was it consensual. If at any moment either party was not coherent or unresponsive/in disagreement, then it is difficult to say whether or not he is a "victim" or regrettably afterwards recalling the scenario
Yeah, personal experience and feelings aside, Objectively speaking , I doubt any of this would stand a chance in court. High chance of being dismissed. You opened unlocked door, you followed him to stall, you were in a public safe place, where you could have easily asked or yelled for help, ... being frozen and shocked , is very very EXREMELY SUSPICIOUS alibi or excuse .
@@ET2carbon Not really. At a certain point, one can assume. For example, if he is kissing the other person, that's a way on indicating consent. The hook up culture invites this confusion.
in my 6th grade I've been sexual harassed with my teacher for almost a year and i found out he was arrested for the same crime he has done to me, I think Karma serves him what he deserves and at home I've been sexual harassed with my Uncle when I was in my 4th grade he did it twice. No one knows about what happened up to this year 2020.
Why a scream? Why not just walk away rather than following the other dude into a bathroom stall and then blaming the other dude for what he willingly agreed to do by going into the stall.
I'm sorry that you were assaulted! But you said something that triggered me. You said he motioned you to go into the stall. Why did you go and not out of the bathroom?
Not everyone has a fight or flight response. Some people surprise themselves by mentally and physically freeze up. Unless you’re in the exact same situation yourself, you really don’t know how you would react, even if you think you would automatically run.
@@hindsightpov4218 No! I know what I would do. In a court of law this would not hold up as rape. This would hold up as something else, sexual harassment maybe. In courtroom trail that statement alone would change everything.
@@JT-ok6re You think you know what you would do. But you were never sexually assaulted so you don’t know with absolute certainty. People who did freeze instead of doing fight or flight surprised themselves that they froze when they thought they would run if they found themselves in this situation. People don’t always respond the way they think they would. It’s called being human. We’re all imperfect. Not everything we do makes perfect sense, despite our best intentions. Grabbing a person’s genitals isn’t harassment. That’s assault. This assailant clearly didn’t like that Andrew rejected him and escalated the situation by making it about power by doing sexual acts onto Andrew that Andrew did not want. That’s rape.
@@hindsightpov4218 Feminist lies. He went in willingly. There was nothing to freeze up about. The guy did not have a knife to him. He followed the guy. Stop making excuses for Andrew. He is not mentally fit to be an adult situations.therefore he should not be there and stop getting other people expelled for awkward advances.
He did not describe how the assailant forced the assault and he does not have to. He told the guy no!! Anything beyond that is assault! How stupid of you.
I am a black belt in tae kwon do. I have fought against other black belts during tournaments & won, broken boards with both hands & my feet. I know how to defend myself. In my final year of college while living off campus I was raped. I am also a gay man & so was the other guy. It was a date gone way bad. He wanted & I didn’t & next thing.. well everyone knows what’s next. You were brave I didn’t press charges or anything. I have shared this story with so many people, first year college students. If it can happen to me, YOU, it can happen to anyone. What I do know it was not our fault & we are not to blame for ANYTHING.. Stay strong my friend.. Trace
@@MrSerendipity01 sorry it took so long to respond . When you have a certain color belt, red & higher you are listed in Washington DC & Atlanta Georgia as a lethal weapon. That’s because of years & years of training. Breaking board, sparring with another class mate so if it might happen, gun pulled or knife you can protect yourself rather than killed. The worst thing any person can do when help up with a knife or gun is get in a car with him. DO NOT EVER FOR ANY REASON GO TO ANOTHER LOCATION WITH THAT PERSON. THERE IS ALMOST a 90% you will be murdered or wished. I am a gay good looking & it took only once, a few seconds to let my guard down. I knew better & for that only take responsibility. I never asked for anything from him, not even a kiss. The only reason I did not prosecute him was for what he said the next day when he was standing out next to my car. Yes I came inches from kicking & breaking his leg or jaw. But I would be in jail no matter what he had done. He had a huge personal problem & he needed help not jail time. It's been over 20 + years & yes we keep in touch. Now, he is a great guy & we both grew from that horrible time. Not everyone should forgive, & personally if it was anyone other than him I would have prosecuted. I know it does not make logical sende, but for me, completely. Everyone makes mistakes & I would hope I would be given another chance. He never lied about anything & explained everything knowing if it got out what happened his famous career would probably end. Now if he would have tried to physically hurt me, total different story.. I hope this helps T
@@tracedial6216you should not justify yourself The person who asks you why you didn't fight back is victim blaming you. It is the same when people ask why victims don't shout A victim is always a victim. It is the rapist who is guilty
As a psychologist, allowing someone to touch you doesn't always mean consent. Some people have been abused so badly as children that they feel easily intimidated by sexually aggressive people and easily give in. Submission does not mean consent.
John, it may not always mean consent but we must not give into the histrionics and narcissists. They must get treatment and live in the normal world rather than have us rearrange sanity. Sex between a man and a woman is a wonderful thing, or for some, between the same sex. For those that are not well enough to say no, they do not belong living away at school in a dorm environment. If a grown man cannot refuse going into a bathroom stall, he is not well and should be treated as such. We don't make excuses for those that may have been so badly abused as children that they may be re-enacting through sexual aggressiveness rather we treat them at best, and imprison them. So as for Andrew, he needs treatment. To put it the old-fashioned way, someone needs to make a man out of him, not because he is gay, but because he is gay meaning implicit in these comments but unsaid, is that Andrew is not man enough to take a stand. Men and women must be taught to say no and that no means no and everything else must be done away with. It's that simple. Respectfully, as a psychologist, I believe you are failing your patients by endorsing this behavior. College students today are so coddled that they might as well have taken a CBT worksheet and flipped it in a quest to be as psychologically unfit as possible.
I have been violated a few times but never thought much of it. I usually feel comfortable but I always felt safe because there were people around me. One time a friend of mine got really and he kept making advances on me and I kept pushing him off. That was a bizzare and scary night and that was at my dads house. I locked myself in the room and my friend now ex friend left the same night. I never thought of the situations I was in as me being sexually assaulted even when guys would straight dry hump me at school, grab my ass at the club, or a stranger straight hugging me at the bus verbalizing that they can just kidnap me. I am safe. That was some rando at the beach that I have never been back to. I honestly think there are a lot of men gay and straight that have been violated and don’t recognize that they have been. I think it’s because every time we hear about sexual assault, and rape it’s always portrayed as the victim being a woman and the violator as the man. So growing up I never had meaning to describe what had happened to me. I think more videos like this are needed to show that regardless of your gender, sex, and sexual orientation that you can be a victim of sexual assault and rape.
Andrew, you said that this guy motioned you to come into a stall that he was in...Why did you go in ???...Why didn't you just turn around and leave...Am I missing something ???...
why are you sorry for a dude that willingly got off in a public bathroom with another dude he followed into a stall. he is a creep for not coping to what HE did.
'Motioned me in to the stall'...ummmm, so what, you went in willingly? You didn't even say if you asked him to stop once he started touching you. I'm in no ways doubting his story - but this is bad journalism and the HuffPost should have asked the right questions.
Why are you "in no ways doubting his story?" You're too kind, the story is nuts and the Huff Post is insane for giving this young man a forum for his histrionics.
Thank you for sharing your story, and for having the courage to go after your assaulter so that others may hopefully be saved. I hope you are able to heal from this experience.
@@lennardusyoutube8505 Can we start with admitting that Andrew would never be fit for the military! Men that freeze up when asked to go into a stall are not men that could fight a hostile enemy. If we extrapolate from there, we can see Andrew should not be in an adult envir.
@@lennardusyoutube8505 cont. If your goal is to have a generation of weak men that cannot speak up for the dignity of their own body when asked to go into a stall, you are pro-infantilizing adults. We must, imo, make sure young adults are fit for adult situations. You are doing Andrew no favors in that indulging his histrionics is not good.
Men deserve protection from rape as much as anyone else and I admire those who speak out. But this guy could not say No to a single person who took him calmly to a stall ? What ? Why didn’t he resist if it was not consensual ? He looks hale and hearty! Story is fishy. At least half made up, and it makes life worse for real victims.
A lot of people here appear to be woefully unaware that not everyone has a fight or flight response. Some people freeze up, mentally and physically. Their brain goes into autopilot and they comply with the assailant’s orders out of fear. Even people who think they would run if they sensed they were going to be attacked are surprised themselves that they didn’t run when it happened to them.
They made eye contact and he felt him staring at him??? Then seconds later he opens the door to a knock lol. Um yeah, he knew it was the guy but yet he opened the door anyway, he could have yelled, screamed, fought , no mention of guy having a weapon, but no he just let it happen with ease plus he said this was the fifth guy he'd been with , yeah ya can't rape the willing.
If someone says “No” or “Stop” at anytime during or before sex, the other person needs to STOP. So whether he willingly went into the stall or not; if he indeed withdrew consent, the other guy should have stopped. The “fifth time” part though did make me laugh though. As a freshman in college, I was barely experienced with even one person. I didn’t get to #5 until after college, and by that time, I knew the deal. I don’t buy this story completely.
I do certainly agree with you. Same, laugh at the line of 5th times. Isn't that mean that he did like with others? Or at the 5th times from his abuser?
But did he beat him or something? Did he use force? If he didn't like the way he toutch him why did he let him to continue? There is something missing in that story?
I feel so sorry for what you had to go through. And thank you for sharing this with us. Just so you know, there are numerous people out there being supportive of you and we sincerely hope that things will get better for you.
Respectfully, I think you are crazy. I feel sorry for the guy who came onto him because he wanted sex, is not a mind reader, and had a dude follow him into a stall who would later destroy his life.
Incredibly brave to share your story. Sorry you had to go through this at the beginning of your time at University. By sharing you have changed lives of others. This was posted 6 years ago - hope you are having an incredible life!! :)
The moral of the story is that men need mace too! You shouldn't blame yourself at all for your sexual assault. You were caught off guard in a confined space. This guy was the predator and you were the prey. He know what he was doing and had done it before. He had you exactly where he wanted, unexpecting, confused and helpless. It has nothing to do with being a man. It's about being victimized! What the hell could you do? You don't even know if he had a gun or knife on him anyway! Now you can use this tragedy to help others be more aware of the circumstances in which they find themselves. Actually you are a hero and a survivor! ✌✌✌
This happened to me in high school my 3 tormentors trapped me walking home one day and raped me. This tore my life apart from drugs and alcohol risky sex the downfall was complete with the help of a great therapist I've faced the demons of my past and now live a cleaner happier life the shame is the biggest thing I felt it was my fault somehow I could have stopped them but I never said a word to anyone for over 20 years finally after so much damage to myself I found the courage to speak my truth. I'm able to talk about today and not feel the shame or of being alone. Speak your truth don't hide or it will eat you alive
I'm so glad the university didn't try to hide behind "your word against his word" crap, and expelled this creep. So sorry this happened to you - you handled it with bravery and a lot of strength.
I have this story as well as I'm also a victim of Sexual assault like him at Einstein Dorms the Tel Aviv University Dorms in 2008 - 2009 as I seek a Psychiatric medicine and went to Psychological help from Tel Aviv University for 3 years - this Maniac was Sohel Awad from Tamrah Room E 44-43
Psalm 34:18 *"The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit."* Matthew 11:27 *"Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."* John 6:37 Jesus says *"Everyone the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will NEVER drive away."* 🌱🙏🏽🤍
I was assaulted in 1982. I am glad times are changing where a man can be open and heal from being a victim. I still struggle with healing. I am now 54.
Timothy Gallemore I’m so sorry. I hope you can find peace soon. Just know your life is so much more than that one terrible incident.💜
I was assaulted the last year, and i'm struggling to keep my old lifestyle, i don't date men anymore, i just stopped having casual sex, cause the idea to be with another man makes me sick
Jesus Christ I’m so sorry for that
May Allah help u 😔
Thank you for sharing it’s always disappointing to see that no one cares about male rape victims I wish we got more respect
That happened to my brother too. He was just 17 and his own best friend this to him. My brother was like a small child. He tried to commit suicide after the sexual assault. He was depressed. I’m so happy that my mum finally got the justice for Liam after fighting for him for 2 years! Now he is recovered. His social phobia is gone. My little baby is okay♥️
YAY I’m so glad he’s better! I hope he can find a partner and way better friends if he wants. He sounds so sweet and I bet he deserves the world.
Psalm 34:18 *"The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit."*
Matthew 11:27 *"Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."*
John 6:37 Jesus says *"Everyone the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will NEVER drive away."* 🌱🙏🏽🤍
@@rachelbrown3766 Where was Jesus when this nightmare happened?
Sorry for you! Glad you guys helped him..
Are u a blink by the way ( i saw ur profile )
@@rachelbrown3766 Yhea yhea, im also pretty sure the bible says somewhere that when you rape a virgin you "have ;)" to marry her.
But of course you wouldn't mention that in your comment 😂
Im so proud of you for coming out as sexually assaulted. I feel like its harder for boys/men because everybody always says that men cant be sexually assaulted which is quite frankly straight up bullshit
It’s toxic masculinity. Anyone can be assaulted. Toxic masculinity is why men are not likely to speak openly as adults that they were molested as children. It doesn’t matter they were little helpless kids. Toxic masculinity is still used to shame them. That shame is weaponized even more when assault happens to men as adults.
@@hindsightpov4218 Oh please, he had willing sex with a guy in a stall.
@@Michael-te7fj see there are you again what do you get out of this
Ppl tht says that. They apart of the problem and it piss me off when ppl say tht. I hate when ppl say tht it non sense and bs and sad
@@Michael-te7fj What about that says willing
Man that’s just horrible. I’m sorry for what happened to him and every victim of sexual assault
Why you are sorry for Andrew is stunning to me. Yes, every victim of sexual assault should be respected for what they have gone through. Willingly walking into a bathroom stall with another man to have sex, regretting it later, and making a claim of sexual assault is revolting behavior. Don't want to have sex, don't go into bathroom stalls and have sex of your own free will. Just say no and/or walk away.
If the other guy told Andrew to jump off a bridge would Andrew have jumped? What about the guy in the bathroom stall made Andrew go in with him? Could it be that he wanted sex so he went into one of the most profoundly private places known universally, where one defecates? Why is this not obvious. If anything, both young men should have been put on suspension for getting it on in a public place wherein Innocent students rightfully expect to be able to go to do their nonsexual bodily functions without having to deal with moans, groans, or whatever one does in private when engaging sex. Andrew, in my opinion, is no victim and did something indecent by calling this sexual assault.
@@Michael-te7fj Damn right!
@@mileshalpern9320 hey Michael so did you do this? Is that why your so upset and all over this page? You take this awfully personally....
@@austinballard6815 what are you talking about?
Men Too!!!!!!!!! Yes this does happen to men. This Does happen to little boys!!!!! I can’t count how many men have share their stories with me. Women babysitters, their moms drunk friends🥃 their moms, grandmothers, aunts, The preachers wife, and the list goes on and on!!!! I am very old!!!! These men are very brave today!!! They share their stories for the world to see🌎 they will save lives, they will make a difference. Inspirational !!!!!!!!!!!! Men ☮️
Faith Kaisiepo ikr?! And women say they want equality…😒😔
Tina Baker When we blame GIRLS for what we wear we blame men for not being able to fight back.😤
@@sherryjackson8474 Don't people like you ever tire? Girls are not blamed for what they wear. Anyone that thinks raping a girl is dependent on what she was wearing is insane. Sane people don't think that way. So I say, stop throwing out nonsense.
Yes I searched up men s****l harrasment reports even men experience these stuff
Same bro happend to me when I was in kindergarten by a women teacher I feel sad and embarrassed
I was confused, ashamed, angry, disgusted, I punched a hole in the wall. I’ll never forget.
Dame I felt that on another level 😬
@@dakota.c.5397 Is that funny to you
@@darky1376 the person is obviously empathizing with them; take some slowed breaths
I’m sorry
I can’t believed you also do that? Because I bang the wall in my room
'it's suppose to be more humiliating for me as a man to say that I've been sexually assaulted in some way. Because of what it means to be masculine and you don't let that happen to you.' This broke my heart for this is the very same reason I cry whenever I am storytelling my friends how I was sexually assaulted by my boss, a PASTOR.
bet he’s catholic
@@DSX1 -- Catholics generally refer to their pastors as "priests." And certainly not their "boss."
Its always the priests and pastors who sexually assaults kids, they are so sex deprived that they see young kids as a terget to satisfy their sexual urges, the very people who we should respect and who should protect us are also the ones who traumatize us with their obscene acts. There are tonnes of documentaries about pastors/priests who molested their younger companions in the ministry. They make the house of God a living hell which is very disgusting🤮🤮🤮
@@HumanSagaVault --- *"... the very people who we should respect"?*
*"Anyone who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities." ---Voltaire, paraphrased*
Andrew is an adult. Not a kid. We don't allow children to have sex for a reason. We don't allow adults to have children for a reason. Andrew and the other students were adults living in the school dorms.
I was assaulted in college when I was 17. He was like my big bro. He did not enroll the following semester. I never saw him again. Even now (I'm 38), I still have nightmares of my ordeal with the guy I looked up to in college.
Alex, did you follow another dude into a bathroom stall, because if you did, you should get help. If you were assaulted, you have my deepest sympathy, however, if you willingly had sex in toilet stall with another man, I say grow up and take responsibility for your actions.
Andrew got off with another dude and he willingly followed him. The other guy was not a "big bro" to him. The other dude was a stranger that he followed and had "sex" with. That was the word Andrew used, sex.
In my opinion, as an actual sexual assault survivor, you should join me and condemn Andrew for making a mockery of actual sexual assault.
@@BenjaminGolden-c5u I thought I was the only one who noticed that statement he made. When he said the guy MOTIONED TO HIM to go to the middle stall further into the bathroom that meant he had time to RUN and he didn't. So know, this is not an assault story in the least. This is the beginning of a gay porn saga. NOT INTERESTED.
@@BenjaminGolden-c5u When you uncover it the way you did the whole story becomes even more sickening. There are people who have LEGITIMATELY had the unfortunate experience of being raped and he is using the rape narrative to garner attention and undeserved sympathy. Glad you peeled the extra layer on this one. Never thought about the unfortunate fate of the other dude. SAD
I was molested at the age of 5. It was 5-6 times in a period of about 2 weeks, he was 16. for the next 15 years, I still had nightmares of him entering my room. In my dreams he became a monster, who would kill me if I moved or said anything. My sister met this man at the age of 22, and a party. She knew who he was. She told me later he was well known in his city. He has kids now. I have never identified him, nor confronted him,my memories are so altered by years of nightmares, and years of fear, its hard for me to recall the specifics. I can not trust my own memories, nor my own recollection. I just remember shart pain, and bloody sheets after each attack by the monster. I never told the housekeeper, or my absent parents, Just my sister. I still am hyper modest, and will not be in a room with any many I don't know very well, and will not share a room with any one.
I am so sorry that happened. I wish you the best brother
Bloody sheets?? What happened to make blood come?! (If you don't mind asking..)
Hell is real, and he's going to find out. God saw it all.
Psalm 34:18 *"The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit."*
Matthew 11:27 *"Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."*
John 6:37 Jesus says *"Everyone the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will NEVER drive away."* 🌱🙏🏽🤍
@@daniellelove9763 He was penetrated by an older larger boy.
I’m so sorry not only for what happened but by some of the negative comments. You very brave to speak up. At the same time when we do, the fear and panic may/ mostly happens over and over. May you find peace 🕊
Where are the négative comment you are pointed????
Someone offers him sex and he accepted by walking in? Other dude motioned him in and he went in?
@@OnlyNetEdits You are right. A young guy wants to get off and gets an invitation to do so and takes it. How this is rape is beyond me.
I was sexually molested by three male family members . Much older then me. I was only 4 years old then it continued till 11 years old. The shame the guilt the rage the thoughts of suicide. It’s taken me years of counseling to get to a stage within my life I have freedom. It was never my shame , guilt, rage it was my ubusers. Yes I know as a male myself it’s hard to talk about . Silence is the true killer. I’ll never be silent no more.
William, for God's sake, you were a child. Andrew was an adult and he followed another dude into a toilet stall to get off. He could have said no, walked away, or whatever. Why are you identifying with this jerk?
@@BenjaminGolden-c5uplease shut up.
@@SillyEvaaaaaaais he logically wrong
I've been raped twice. The first time I got drugged at what a friend told me was going to be a house party back in 2014. As soon as I got there, he offered me a drink. I accepted because I thought I was early and wanted to relax. The next thing I remember is him on top of me taking my pants off and then I was out. I woke up next to him the next morning. He was twice my size so I waited for him to get up then I ran out of there as fast as I could . The second time was a few years later. I was out of state at a gas station I walked to because it was close to my hotel to pick up some snacks because I was expecting company. I thought it was going to just be a casual get together. But joke was on me, because the catfish showed up at the gas station, abducted me, then took me to his house, pulled me from the car, and then dragged me inside. I pleaded with him not to because I was still not ready for intimacy (a fact that cost me a relationship) but he didn't care and made me undress.
OMG, can I give you advice that save my life? Talk about it to anyone, everyone. Keeping it all caged in you will literally kill you. Tell your story, post it here. I did & was shocked by all the concerns. Telling your story could help someone who might get catfished just like you but not make it out. Your story is powerful, it caught my attention out of hundreds I had gotten.
I hope this helps
If you ever need to talk or help or just to say hi
Trace
I was sexually assaulted in 2011 at my community college, in a bathroom, 500 feet away from the campus substation of the Los Angeles Sheriff's department. When I got away and got to the Sheriff's desk they did nothing...."But, you're a guy". They made no report. The next day I saw my attacker again on campus, he was a student. I went to my departments chair and told her what happened and that I was going to drop out. She took me to the sheriff office and demanded action, it was only then that they did a report. For 3 semesters I suffered seeing my attacker on campus and the Sheriff's nor the college did anything. I graduated but suffer from PTSD, and survived 4 suicide attempts. After I graduated, the college dropped my assault statistic from the catalog.
You didn't followinto a stall
I feel so sorry for him. Thank you Andrew for your story. I was the victim of sexual assault at the age of 10 by my own family member (Cousin) and to this day, it still haunts me.
For God's sake, you were a child. Andrew was a college student that had consensual sex in a college-dorm bathroom stall and later had the guy he had sex with thrown out of the school because he claimed (somehow) that he was the victim even though it was he (Andrew) that followed the other guy into the bathroom stall. Stop confusing real victims which you were, with this creep Andrew. Andrew had bad sex, regretted it, and made a sexual assault claim. Listen to him in his own pathetic words.
Jamal, Andrew in his own words had sex in a bathroom stall with another dude. The dude motioned to him to come into the stall and he did. What in the hell are you sorry for him for. What happened to you was when you were a child. How can you insult yourself by making such a comparison??
You were ten, you did not and could not consent. Andrew was 18 and followed a dude in a public bathroom to have sex. Don't identify with him. What happened to you is a horror. Andrew had sex.
Unless you were sever sexually assaulted,, please never speculate. I am a heterosexual man who was drugged by a massage therapist and sexually assaulted. I was there only by virtue of the fact that I had been in a serious car accident. This "therapist" it's now in jail as he did this to 3 other people. Same tactic, he gave me a glass of water and what he told me was a muscle relaxer, but wad really a sedative. Within 30 minutes, I felt woozy and I told him I want feeling good. He said to try relaxing, he then smiled when he saw I could barely move, pulled down my pants and the rest I'll leave off here because it's too painful to type. I won a $20,000 lawsuit against the company and it still hadn't helped heal me. I totally believe thus guy. You don't know what you'd do until it happens to you.
Dude, I'm so sorry you had this experience. I'm glad you were bold and got justice. Did any of the other victims testify? I'm a victim's rights advocate and I think I remember this case was this over in Battle Creek, MI? Continue to speak out. Your are one of the many voices for silent male victims of sexual abuse and by letting your voice be heard, you don't realize the power you have in being able to save someone else or help someone else know they are not alone. Proud of you for speaking up.
Dude yours is different. You were drugged, this dude walked into that stall willingly after getting felt up.
John Willis being drugged and raped is legitimate. Being felt on....silent but coherent....and follow a man into a stall never saying no is not on any level what you went through
You don't get to decide. I'm sorry you were assaulted but this stuff is crazy. Just say no or too bad. End of story.
Nonsense John. It happened to you but it did not happen to Andrew. You were sedated, Andrew did not say no. Stop relating to anything that sounds like victimhood. What you're doing frankly is depraved and inexcusable. You should be ashamed of yourself comparing the horrors of real sexual assault and rape to this nonsense.
I was not sexually assaulted per se, but was bullied all thru public school. Many times teachers & office personnel saw it happen & they didn't do anything or just laughed it off. I had fantasies of doing something bad to the perps, but never did for fear of worse retribution. This happened on school buses too. I was so thankful that during my senior year, my best friend had me ride in his car.
Danhutson3460, I am a gay man growing up in a small rural area of 8,000 people. So, OMG been there right with you with the bullies. Bullies do this ignorant stuff when they feel threatened or afraid someone will recognize the attraction. Not always but a large percentage. It all changes once you get out of your hell. Find your chosen family, friends. Those bullies hit their peak in high school, where yours is coming & it will be huge.. if you need to talk I’m here
Trace
U r so strong and brave for coming and bringing this story to light! I'm sorry for all the pain and suffering you experienced!
Mark, respectfully, you are crazy. A guy who wanted sex came on to another dude and the guy said yes by not saying no. Not only that, he followed him into a bathroom stall. How about teaching men to act like men? We rightfully protect minors because they can't make informed decisions. We need to have men who are adults. What if there is a war and we need fighting men? Are you f--king kidding me?
@@tylerketchum3315 Tyler, grow up and stop being brainwashed. These were two homosexual men and their customs are different. Sadly, because of having to be secretive for many generations, things like having sex in bathrooms for some are still common. An act of agreeing to come into the stall is a nonverbal cue of saying yes. Then, further consent was given by not saying no.
A young man who is not able to say no to an advance into a bathroom stall and then to boot, one that elects to stay there, is one who has the emotional maturity of a child and does not belong in an adult sleep-away environment such as a dorm. Everyone else need not act like a child to accommodate a "kid" who doesn't belong living an adult environment.
We are dumbing down adulthood to infantilize. Again, what if God forbid there is a war and we need young men with the backbone to fight it? A young man who can't say no to an advance and in so doing actively participates is a disturbed individual. ...and when and if he grows up, he should seek to in whatever way possible to spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to the other boy who committed only the crime of being an "highly-sexed" young men propositioning another--he won't have been the first sex-driven young guy who somewhat aggressively seduced another person.
This somewhat new rap panic is highly orchestrated by a criminal justice system somewhat at the mercy of a feminist dogma that is extreme. Some rape cases were not treated seriously years ago and this was wrong, very wrong, however, with that said, this nonsense is extremest and unethical and zealots like you ought to be ashamed of yourself for going along with it and creating abject hysteria in the process.
Michael
Did you watch the video? Not only he SAID he was not interested, his account is exactly how panicked reactions follow: frozen by fear. Abscence of "no", thus, obviously doesn't mean consent. It takes a minimum of discernment to not continue touching a person who is clearly shocked and afraid.
Plus, its a gross and fallacious observation you made on gay men. If two gay men walk into a bathroom, it does not follow necessarily that they will have sex, and we cannot blame sexual assault victims for simply exercising their right to freely move around without being constricted by these generalizations.
And then you speak of backbone... yes, maybe if he said something or reacted in a firmer way, it wouldn't have happened. But we can't demand that - we need to demand people (mostly men, and I say this as one) to stop feeling entitled towards others' bodies. Blaming the victims lack of reaction is nonsensical when we should strive, first and foremost, for doing so with the agressor's reaction. This also says much, indirectly, about the absolute irrelevance of yours comments about war.
I know this comment is 6 months old, but I cannot abide to stay in silence before it.
Michael, this sounds like this may have happened to you and this is your way of handling it. Do yourself a favor and get help.
You sound like a very angry man.
There’s something about this story that doesn’t feel right to me. I’ve experienced sexual abuse as a child and was raped as a young adult. I volunteer my time in counseling/mentoring sexually exploited teens and rape survivors. I’ve heard the stories told by the victims themselves and yet somehow, I don’t feel as if this guy was actually raped or if he’s just trying to turn what he ultimately felt was an unsavory encounter into a story of rape. In telling it, he’s almost dead pan and the descriptions come across as studied. As if he read about how one might react after a sexual assault. Particularly when he talks about the auditorium filled with 5000 other students and how he felt “alone”and spoke of “tunnel vision” and his “throat clenching”. It didn’t come off as genuine, but instead rather cliché. When he talks about only having had five previous encounters with guys and then mentions with an air of disgust that this incident took place in a bathroom, you can almost see a very slight smirk cross his face when he begins telling it and then again at the very end. I watched a couple times just to see if I was merely projecting, but there’s no emotion in his eyes. No feeling conveyed, nor projected. There’s almost a disconnect to the recanting of the story itself as if told by someone who didn’t actually experience it. It seems strange that he seemed more mortified by where it happened rather then it happening at all. In all my experiences I’ve never heard someone speak in the way of location as a matter of importance. I also question his saying that “it all ended” when he read the letter in the Dean’s office. Trauma Isn’t something that suddenly disappears overnight. Over time you learn ways to deal with it and move beyond it, but it’s always there and forever will remain a part of you. It doesn’t just suddenly end. I know of people who have tried to turn sexual encounters into stories of sexual assault and I know of people who have flat out lied. I’m not saying that this guy is completely falsifying the incident, I’m just finding it hard to believe that he’s been entirely truthful.
Anthony Coca it seems rehearsed, but that could come from him having to tell the story so many times that he’s just speaking lines from a script.
Don’t base his story off of other stories you have heard. Everyone heals differently. Everyone tells their story crying, angry, or just plain out calm and “normal”.
I agree. Something seems off here.
I tend to agree that something in this story is off....being touched repeatedly against your will is technically "assault", however, saying he "motioned me into one of the stalls"??? after being groped?.....unless physically "dragged" leave.
George Yeck-Ozark Exactly. He had two choices. Either walk in one direction towards the exit, or the other direction, towards the stalls. Freely. Perhaps maybe with some slight reservation, but nonetheless willingly. The other guy wasn’t behind him shoving him in. Apparently he was already in the stall and non-threateningly motioned him over. He was bothered that it happened in a public bathroom, but gives absolutely no indication of any of it being forced.
The worst one happened when I was younger than 9. This man who was a family friend showed me his penis. I ran as fast as I could and told my mom, but she didn’t believe me at the time. I was a very unruly child always getting into trouble. Even though I had forgot the image. The emotion I can’t forget. Fear, and a great sense of betrayal. Because it was done by a family friend. Even when that person was out of my life when my mom told me he was getting married. My stomach turned. I have never mentioned this to my mom as an adult because I just want to keep it in the past. Parents please listen to your kids when they talk to you.
You were a child when that truly illegal event happened to you. This man was fully grown and willingly went into a bathroom stall with another man.
M. McC hardly a "fully grown" man.
You were under nine. Andrew was an adult and walked into a bathroom stall. One can say you were a victim but no one in their right mind can say Andrew was a victim. He followed the other guy into the stall and had "sex." Yes, in Andrew's own words, he had sex in the bathroom. He is a hysterical pathetic man to have regret of his sex and blame the other dude.
Sounds like your mom was the problem
Sorry, but there is something a little off about his whole story.
@Chipperoo45 Andrew walked into the stall voluntarily
So you regret tricking in the bathroom drunk.......the ruin someone’s college career? Because they came on to you and you didn’t say no........special word for you.....
What this dude Andrew did is disgraceful and that the Huff Post gives him credibility is sad.
And if there is a God, he is going to the other place for doing this to the other man.
I have a lot of male friends who joke around a lot about sex, and they always seem happy and feel okay about it. And I thought that ALL boys would be okay and feel cool if someone (especially a girl) asaulted them. But I feel sorry for the guys out there like Andrew who hate sexual assaulted.
No one should act inappropriately to touch other people's private areas
He was assaulted by another guy not a girl!
You thought someone would be cool about being sexually assaulted ? What planet are you on ?
He wasn't assaulted by anyone. He had sleazy sex in the john and later regretted it and had another dude thrown out of school.
I am gay and if he did not want to do something sexual with him, why did he go into the stall?
HE WAS COERCED. BUT IF A PERSON SAYS I AM NOT INTERESTED...GAME OVER!!!
SEXUAL PREFERENCE IS IRRELEVANT...
I'm gay too. In our world, if you willingly go into a bathroom stall with another guy, it's on.
@@MandM-tb3lv it’s on like popcorn.
@@jahdagod5563how was he coerced? Please explain.
Exactly, she has issues.
I wa a victim too, my step cousin and his friends done horrible things to me, they done this while i was 16 to 20 years old, now i'm 21 i moved to India and i feel safe rather than i was in Germany.
oh man das tut mir leid
Oh u r in india...?
@@ShinChan-cu8nsyea.
@@theindo-germanguy8817 oh..
Sad to hear something like this happened to u..!
☹️
The guy motioned him into the cubicle ? So did he walk in by himself I didn't hear him say he was pushed in ? This doesn't sound right I wouldn't explain a sexual assault as doing things
Yeah like all the women coming out in the MeToo movement were "pushed in". Drop your filthy double standards.
That is pretty much a very weak and vulnerable area for a guy. So if someone grabs us there we are pretty much at their mercy. The pain can be intense easily inflicted. So he was sorta but not really held at gun point and was motioned to the stall. Plus the dude is in obvious fear. When fear has a grip on someone if the don’t run then they feel powerless.
@@RamKumar-yi6wn men are stronger than women though, they can fight back. There's no excuse for what happened to him
@@Straumnes Rape is not about imposing one's physical power on another but power play,there's a difference between the first being physical and the second psychological. You think not even a single young female Hollywood star coming out in MeToo was "physically" stronger than a washed up wrinkled geezer like Weinstein they are accusing ? Rape is not about physical strength always. If you think he cannot be a victim because it's a HE,then, putting it kindly, you're rather petty and ignorant.
This is his story to tell, not yours!
This guy is so clearly himself guilty. He had sex in a bathroom stall having willfully joined the other dude and then had the other dude expelled. This guy is vile. I find it sick that people on this post are on his side.
Is this queen for real? She just regrets the interaction. She gave the gay gaze and then didn’t ask him to stop when the guy touched him.
There is something about this story that sounds fishy or rather attention seeking.
JJ It doesn't sound fishy. It's insane. Utter nonsense. I am not of your generation and we think you guys have lost your mind.
How could u even say that
@@kwaziofficial he said he was motioned into the stall. So he obviously went. Why didn't he just leave?
Something? Everything about this story is fishy and attention seeking, however, he had the other guy expelled which is shockingly evil.
I was sexually assaulted by my dad i was 8 years old even today I still struggle I have trust issues that's probably why I never got married the pain never goes away but it does get better I've been going to therapy for 6 years and it has helped me out so much so my prayers are with anybody that had to go to this horrible experience but please don't let it hold you back in life get some help don't let that person ruin your life you can make it I did God bless everyone out there that ever got hurt my prayers are with you God bless you all
For God's sake, you were a helpless child. This Andrew was an adult and he followed the other dude into a bathroom stall. He deserves no mercy and our deep condemnation for calling what happened sexual assault.
Hello, you were 18 years old.
If you cannot even fight back when someone attacked you. even my small dog knows how to bite me if i tried to cut his nails.
Such an evil comment
@@mossionsay no
Reading some of these comments, it's no wonder men don't say anything, but are judged the moment their trauma turns into self destructing behavior.
Men like Andrew should be judged and be condemned without mercy. He has done a terrible thing by ruining the other guy's life, a dude btw, he had sex with because he followed him and did not indicate no.
A man should be judged when he marches into a bathroom, has sex, and then has the other dude expelled.
Thanks for sharing, Andrew. Hearing your story made me feel that I was not alone.
Pearse - Situations differ, in some cases there are 2 or more assailats while in other cases the men have been druged.
Meinard Ramirez you too have post hookup regret?
Why are you encouraging Andrew? Clearly this kid is so lost as he is not fit to protect himself in the most basic of ways. If someone motions to him to jump out the window, would he jump. If he gets toward the window and that person is lifting him up to throw him out the window will he freeze up and not say, no, or push back, or run or scream or whatever. It's a sickness that is happening at colleges and stop feeding it.
Imagine if we had a war and we had to draft young men. Are you kidding me siding with this weakling of a grown man. We need to encourage him to be a man, not a boy, and have agency. It's his body and if he doesn't want to be touched, he has to do whatever necessary to make that clear.
The other guy came onto him so big deal. I am straight and if a guy grabbed my crotch, I would just say, Not into that. I wouldn't have him expelled or prosecuted. Sorry, but it's not the same as if someone pinned me down and forced me. Get a grip Andrew defenders.
As for concerning himself with masculinity, Andrew doesn't have to worry. A man can resist following another man into a stall.
@@Michael-te7fj loser! . He froze. Go educate yourself on reaction on abuse. Not everyone is oh so perfect as you I guess. Shameful.
@@Michael-te7fj he didn’t know how to react he was scared. He was touched very inappropriately and nobody cares what you would do he is a man being a little “weaker” doesn’t make him any less of a man he is still one. Your the real weakling because I bet if someone pushed you into a stall you’d freeze too
You opend the door, you said nothing, you did nothing. Whatever happend to just say NO?
Stfu
I was 14 when I was raped I am now 61 and have carried it all these years,constantly coming to the front of my mind it’s like a ghost haunting me.this is the first time I have put anything down in black and white.
I admire you and respect you. One day I will be able to come out about some things too....
Hopefully this action will bring you some peace and relief.
Well done for speaking out Andrew. My ex-boyfriend of 5 years decided to abuse me psychologically and emotionally by watching gang rape videos and softcore peadophille ones too( for 4 days relentless)while laying and masturbating on the bed next to me. He was semipotent and the times we had sex he was weak and uninspiring. He has been thoroughly reported and revealed after he confessed to me that he is a child groomer and rapist. After the sheer horror I found strength to expose him everywhere. I hope he never hurts anyone ever again.
Why didn't you walk or run away when the child porn was being played. I wouldn't ever watch that crap and no one could make me unless I was tied up or held by gunpoint. Four days, I assume you got up to take a leak, why didn't you leave?
Andrew walked into a toilet stall and no one forced him. Neither you nor he should be in adult situations if you cannot say no to illegal or immoral or uncomfortable behavior. You could have been prosecuted for watching that material with your boyfriend and perhaps you should have been because by not walking away your participated. If the two of you were on a hike and your boyfriend started up with a child, would you have stayed with him for four days and watched. Respectfully, I think you need professional help and your boyfriend needs it to and legal investigation as well. You say you exposed him, what about exposing your own culpability for watching that stuff. I find it grotesque that two grown men could watch that crap.
if he motioned you into the center stall & you went ... you weren't forced than you sort of went along with it , told him it was OK, if you were not in the stall it would not have happened, I am so sorry but this sounds like every gay bathroom cruse ever. Now if you said no & he still forced or dragged you into the stall, or even if he befriended you then drugged you or took advantage of you while you were passed out that would be assault. I say this from a place of trying to understand, I myself was a sexually assaulted. This just comes off like regret for doing something in a bathroom with a random guy. I am sorry this happened to you but regret is different.
My comment may be unpopular, and I don’t mean it as an attack on anyone except perhaps Andrew’s counselors. And I recognize there may be painful, personal details Andrew is omitting out of privacy, and those details (if I knew them) might change my opinion. On the basis of the information presented this is how I feel:
I don’t think the actions he describes amount to an assault. The other student flirted with him, touched Andrew’s crotch over his clothes, said “nobody has to know” and motioned him into a bathroom stall, and Andrew followed. I’m missing any element of force, coercion, or intimidation. Andrew specifically said the other student “motioned” him into a stall-that means he was free to ignore the other student and walk away.
Based on the actions described I feel bad for Andrew having to think he is a victim of anything, and it looks to me like his counselors failed him in a major way. They should’ve asked him to explore his feelings that motivated Andrew to follow that student into the stall, and make him feel ok about his sexual curiosity and exploration. It sounds like they did the opposite, and made him believe he was a victim of something. So his counselors really created a victim, and ultimately got another student expelled over this encounter.
I’m generally a very sensitive person who would always stand up for a victim, it’s hard for me to even make this comment. I feel like this video should not have been made, or if there are other painful details (that should remain private) but really make the assault more clear, then the video should have shared those details but protected Andrew’s identity. As it currently stands, this video feels irresponsible to me, it lowers the bar of what sexual assault means.
Totally agree.
You saved me. Your courage is tremendous. Sorry for my bad English ( I am not a native speaker). I was raped as a little kid from a "teacher" and then later again at a "Christmas party" where I work. 95% of all men who have been sexually assaulted don't report the crime. I will seek help. Thanks
Why did you go into the stall with him after the initial contact? Leave
I can't believe the negative comments on here and that people are still so uneducated when it comes to understanding sexual assault. This is exactly why so many men that are victims of sexual abuse remain silent and suffer terribly, and why it is so easy for the perpetrators to get away with it. And by the way it is very common for a victim to have forced physical arousal by an abuser which is why it is so emotionally damaging. Some victims fight back, some flee and some freeze. All are common reactions. The abusers know how to take advantage of their victims psychologically. Please quit being such hateful people, educate yourselves and learn some compassion.
THIS! All of this. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
With all due respect, you have no idea what goes on in gay male culture. If a man willingly accepts an invitation into a stall, it sure isn't to discuss the upcoming football game.
No Julie, you educate yourself and stop following feminist talking points. Freezing up is exceptionally rare and doesn't apply to young men following other young men into bathroom stalls. ...and it is you that should stop being hateful assuming women (or men) don't lie.
Bull
It is not hateful to disagree with your premises. Freezing is somewhere between rare and nonexistent. Stop reading feminist nonsense which today has no peer reviewed studies to prove what it claims. Women fought hard for the rights to have sexual agency, not to be the wallflowers that can't speak for themselves that you seem to endorse. You education yourself and you stop being hateful because throwing out nonsense can cause people to be misinformed. Sexual assault is a horrible crime; not everything is sexual assault including walking into a bathroom stall. If one is stupid enough to do so, then they should reflect on it and grow from it and look inward into what the hell is wrong with them. Stop protecting a grown man that wants to act like a child and live in an adult world.
My brother survivors finally getting to be part of our collective voice. Speak, you’re valid and deserve to be heard. You did NOTHING wrong, it was and is all on them- NOT YOU.
I'm sorry, but I have to say I don't agree with this story amounting to a sexual assault. I respect that this guy is advocating for victims, and I commend him on going public for male victims. However, what he described does not sound like anything more than a misunderstanding and perhaps a tragic issue of inexperienced perception. Encounters such as this are common in the gay community, and the alleged attacker may have interpreted this guy's hesitation to engage with him as (often very typical) nervousness about "giving in" to homosexual activity (a common internal battle for gay men who aren't yet fully accepting of themselves). I honestly feel this issue could have been resolved simply by having a conversation between the two parties (facilitated or non). I think expulsion was quite an extreme position to take in this case, considering the story shared in the video and the social factors I outlined above. I feel that this guy (unintentionally) trivializes the experience of sexual assaults between gay men. We have all had sexual encounters we might regret in retrospect, or feel "low" about - this is called learning and experimenting!
First off, I don't think this man has a problem with his sexuality. He admitted to being with guys prior & before the incident said he was not interested. The attacker had 2 prior interactions that were reported; one can be a misunderstanding but 2 more after that is no misunderstanding; and that's just the ones that were reported, hopefully no more occured
no guys in the gay community will usually ask and ask and ask if u keep saying no they back off some wont if they get u alone
What about the issue of gay guys having sex in public toilets? This is a normal thing for gay guys to have sex in bathroom stalls at public toilets. Please, a straight guy would never follow another guy into a toilet stall. It's disgusting and uncomfortable for straight guys when they try to use the toilet in a public bathroom and have gay guys trying to peek into the stall, not to mention hearing the sounds of gay guys groaning & moaning in the other stalls. It's so disgusting for straight men to tolerate this. Can you imagine these gay guys having sex in bathroom stalls while the stench of ass and shit permeates the air? Well, that's what straight guys have to tolerate when they use a public toilet. I'm sorry, but gay guys are judged by what they do like everyone else, and having sex in public toilets is utterly disgusting. This video should be about rape among gay men.
Except this ... some victims of sexual assault have been conditioned in their childhood to.comply with sexually aggressive adults. And submission does not mean consent. Even if he is gay, if he didn't want it from that partner it still amounts to rape. No still means no regardless of the sexual orientation.
danielleaparis if this behavior would only belong to gay guys. Near 60-70% of the male population in same city's would be gay or bi. This behavior is more common than you would think.
a grown men had sex then changed his mind and claimed its rape if you didn't protest or say no then its consensual
Not only did he not say no, by his own admission the other dude motioned him to the bathroom stall and he complied.
This is so powerful. I was sexually assaulted around the same time. I was ashamed to complain and held on to the shame for years. One man, a cab driver apologized which was small compensation but not the others. I always felt that I was responsible.
Powerful, this was pathetic, not powerful. Andrew has sex in a bathroom, has the other dude he had sex with expelled and you call this powerful. This is abject weakness. Andrew appears to be a feckless, disturbed, histrionic, weak male and we should all condemn him for making a mockery of sexual assault claims.
I wish I knew more as a kid....I was sexually assaulted by my brother, my cousin, my town's priest and I had to believe all that was normal so I could survive. Believe it or not all those memories stayed with me my whole life, I am a marked person
He clearly stated that the guy "motioned" for him to go into a stall. The moment he entered the stall would certainly indicate consent in my opinion. He may have changed his mind afterwards but it seems he was sending mixed signals at the very least.
He grabbed his crotch without consent, which made him freeze. He never said yes. Scary that you think this is consent. Please never assume. Always go for an enthusiastic yes.
When sexual assault happens, not everyone has a fight or flight reaction. Some people freeze by feeling powerless and mentally space out.
Sometimes the rapist will order the victim to take off their clothes and out of fear they comply. They didn’t want to take their clothes off. Just because they did, it doesn’t mean they were giving consent. They most certainly didn’t want to be sexually assaulted.
It wasn’t a hookup regret. It was rape.
@@hindsightpov4218 he didn't freeze. He wasn't ordered into the stall. He was motioned and he went, when he could have easily went out the door.
@@fzb5383 Oh God forbid. Of course no one should grab anyone's anything but let's stop making young men into pussies and excuse my vulgarity but come on. Think of the brave men that enlisted in WW 2 and then think of this creepy guy who walks into a bathroom stall. The hell with enthusiastic yes, sex is complicated. No Means No is fine. No means No does not mean a man can't try to seduce someone by making a motion to a bathroom stall although it's gross. No means no could lead to a classier, "can I give you my number should you change your mind," or "are you sure," or something more reasonable.
Also, it appears these guys are homosexuals. Whether or not you like it or like it, culturally not all groups have the same norms. I don't know personally about this but from everything I have heard, the culture among these men is far more sexually wild so I can't judge what I don't know. In my opinion, you are buying into the modern day feminist histrionic nonsense put forth by a disturbed minority of bitter women that hate sex, hate men, or are both bitter and hate men.
No man has ever touched me but if one did, it wouldn't be the end of the world. I wouldn't hit the guy, I wouldn't freak out, I would say "get the hell away from me," and forget the matter by the next day. Stop encouraging those that want to be victims to act that way when they are not. Holocaust survivors often don't sound as victimized as poor Andrew who walked into the stall. The freezing theory is just that. People don't freeze. Tell them to jump off a bridge, and they don't jump. You are buying into nonsense that is not backed up by research.
I find it strange that he was “motioned” to the stall, isn’t that where you say no? He was not dragged into it or forced to do anything by his own description. There are sexual assaults out there and I find it difficult to believe the huff post could only find this tepid story.
Your body shuts down too and you just freeze not every thing is explained as easily as black or white
a a I could see that if a weapon was involved but the guy just motioned to the stall. Instead of walking to the stall why did he not walk out the door?! He was under no obligation or duress to go to the stall. It’s all very strange.
@@TWalsh-ji7jh
The assailant was rejected by Andrew. His response was to grab Andrew’s genitals which made Andrew go into shock and his mind froze. When you’re in that shocked state, your mind goes into autopilot and he complied when motioned into the stall when he otherwise would not have if he wasn’t in that shocked state.
Not everyone has a fight or flight response. Some people physically and mentally freeze when they really do want to run. People’s minds and bodies don’t always react the way they want when in a threatening situation.
@@hindsightpov4218the smirk and recalling
Unfortunately sexual assault really can happen to anyone by anyone. I am glad that he made the right decision to bring this up to the school board.
Yeah, except this was not sexual assault. Andrew willing walked into a bathroom stall with another man and had sex. Let's not dumb down sexual assault to the point where it is meaningless. Sexual assault is a very series crime. This was not that!
Say no to finger motion
He made the wrong decision. As a grown man that had sex in a public bathroom, he is accountable for breaking the school rules; not to blame the other guy.
How does this qualify as sexual assault?
It doesn't.
He never said No
He never pushed him a side
And he walked in to the cubicle and wanted it and then latter he did not. Makes no sense.
onkar phall he never wanted he went into shock the guy took him into the stall listen to the guys story
Matt Howland went into shock really that sounds like if I did not like it latter on then I all ways can say "I went into shock" standing in court of law. Think about it?
RunnerEye that's exactly what happened no one forced him in there. Maybe the dick wasn't big enough so now he's screaming rape. Imagine that you sleep with a woman or a man it's all consensual the next day she screams or he screams rape all because she/ he regrets it! what a joke.
No he said directed he was drunk and he said he wasn't interested
It wasn't a case of buyers guilt he didn't consent he didn't want it he was violated rather it was miscommunication or a guy that just thought it was ok to force the issue and aggressively take what he wanted then say well he didn't fight back if this had been a girl they would have easily been called sexual assault
I don't think this was a case of sexual assault
... Did you read the ending disclaimer at the end of the video. The same guy that assaulted him had assaulted two other people. He had a history of that behavior. If this guy hadn’t stepped forward and expose him he would have continued to assault other people in that school.
@@Tonytrekdax Past behavior does not prove guilt. Perhaps like Andrew, the other guy liked getting off in bathrooms and the school had put him on warning. Don't believe everything you read especially when it is about a penis so to speak. The notion of a penis makes everyone lose their mind.
I politely refused a man who was following me that I was not interested. I was 18 at the time and was taking some evening classes. I decided to come to class early one evening and the teacher was not in class. So I was alone, waiting for my teacher when this same man showed up with a blade and got really close to me and said “I will kill you…don’t think you’re better than me” he grabbed my shoulder as to pull me close to him but thankfully he stop and left when when we heard the teacher approaching. I was scare that I couldn’t concentrate. This was in 1994 before cellphones so I couldn’t just call someone or Uber. I had to walk to the metro by myself (I didn’t tell anyone what had happened) scared but also vigilant in case he popped up. Needless to say I did not return the next day and transferred to a different school. What’s crazy is that I have never told anyone…this is the first time I’m “saying” it.
...but Andrew followed the other dude in the bathroom Stall and had sex. Entirely different than what you went through.
“It’s time to include male survivors’ voices” means more men need to speak up.
My comment may be unpopular, and I don’t mean it as an attack on anyone except perhaps Andrew’s counselors. And I recognize there may be painful, personal details Andrew is omitting out of privacy, and those details (if I knew them) might change my opinion. On the basis of the information presented this is how I feel:
I don’t think the actions he describes amount to an assault. The other student flirted with him, touched Andrew’s crotch over his clothes, said “nobody has to know” and motioned him into a bathroom stall, and Andrew followed. I’m missing any element of force, coercion, or intimidation. Andrew specifically said the other student “motioned” him into a stall-that means he was free to ignore the other student and walk away.
Based on the actions described I feel bad for Andrew having to think he is a victim of anything, and it looks to me like his counselors failed him in a major way. They should’ve created a safe space for Andrew to explore the feelings that motivated him to follow the other student into the stall, and make Andrew feel ok about his sexual curiosity and exploration. It sounds like they did just the opposite, and made him believe he was a victim of something. So his counselors really created a victim, and ultimately got another student expelled over this encounter.
I’m generally a very sensitive person who would always stand up for a victim, it’s hard for me to even make this comment. I feel like this video should not have been made, or if there are other painful details (that should remain private) but really make the assault more clear, then the video should have shared those details but protected Andrew’s identity. As it currently stands, this video feels irresponsible to me, it lowers the bar of what sexual assault means.
Your comment isn’t insensitive, it’s just ignorant
You might want to educate yourself on something known as the “fight, flight, freeze response.”
@@richardmayora1289 I haven’t heard of that so maybe I am completely missing something, “ignorant” as you say. I will definitely look into that. In the meantime, if you could share a perspective of this incident from the framework of fight/flight/freeze that you mentioned I would greatly appreciate it. I don’t see where he did any of the three. He certainly didn’t “freeze,” the other student waved him into an empty stall and he followed.
Speaking generally and not about this video directly, sometimes in life we encounter people who are more sexually experienced or adventurous than ourselves. We may find their actions unexpected and provocative. We can choose not to participate. But we should also feel free to choose to participate if that’s what we want. If ultimately we don’t like our choice we can learn from that and possibly decide differently in the future.
You are being too kind and appear to be a youngish person. Why in the hell should the s. chool be involved with this at all and why should a school be creating a safe space for Andrew? The school should have said, "do you want to be expelled Andrew, because you and another dude had sex in the public school bathroom?" I would have given the young men a warning for having sex in a bathroom and that's the end of it. I understand you are a sensitive person but what you are proposing is madness. These are grown men. In another generation, they would be fighting in a world war at age 18. We need adults that are real men, not boys. If Andrew cannot resist the advances of another man, he does not belong in an adult atmosphere. We must not cater to those that are histrionic or have other personality disorders which I think is what you are in effect proposing.
@@richardmayora1289enlighten him
My heart goes out to all victims of sexual assault; male and female.
However, being neutral-minded on the matter (remember, we're not hearing the 'assailant's' side of the story right now), as much as no one deserves to be sexually assaulted/raped/molested/threatened, I think it's also terrible that an unwanted touch in the bathroom could lead to an expulsion. So far, I gather that Andrew was harassed and that subsequently seeing his harasser again gave him gave him psychological inhibitions. Was that all that occurred, or was there perhaps more?
Regardless, is it possible that the perp himself had suffered homophobic oppression due to an anti-gay environment which he was upbrought? Maybe he himself is a victim who never had the chance to learn how to express his sexuality in an appropriate, healthy manner. All the while he could be a very nice, decent guy who had so much to contribute to society. See? we as spectators of this video don't know the whole story; we may be supporting one victim, while promoting the oppression of the other. That, to me, is just as terrible as not believing a male survivor of assault.
My little 2 cents here.
Doesnt quite sound like a non-consensual encounter
Right, sounds like a horny 18 year old. Not uncommon but consensual.
holy crap, I hope he's having a consensually good day.
You can't rape the willing.
It is simple...if you do not consent then it is assault.
Oh please. If you're a grown man, heterosexual or homosexual, and another man motions to you to go into a stall or for that matter to jump off a bridge, if you do, your a moron and should not be in an adult environment. The school should have thrown Andrew out for daring to make this complaint and the grounds to expel Andrew could have been for getting off in a bathroom and potentially exposing other students to having to hear or see it.
@@Michael-te7fj
“Oh please” yourself. You are being so judgmental and ignorant. Some people mentally and physically freeze when sexual assault is happening. Not everyone has a fight or flight response and you don’t know if you’ll freeze or flight until you’re in that situation yourself. People who did freeze surprised themselves that they didn’t run when they thought their instincts would tell them to do that. When people freeze, their brain goes into autopilot and they space out as they follow the orders of the assailant out of fear.
You’re very keen on blaming and punishing the victim, saying he should have been the one expelled from the university and not the assailant. Your comment also comes across as homophobic with the disgust you expressed about any sexual activity happening in the men’s restroom. It’s apparent where your judgement is coming from.
@@Michael-te7fj
I looked into you and I see now why you are particularly angry about this case. I am sorry for what happened to you. I really am. But what happened to you does not mean that Andrew was making false accusations. Do false accusations happen? Yes, tragically they do. But they are rare. Most accusations of rape are true and most rapes are never reported.
Not all rapes happen the same way. Different people react differently. If you did not want it, it is rape. Being rejected does not excuse escalating the situation by grabbing the person’s genitals and doing sexual acts onto this person who already said no. It doesn’t matter after Andrew mentally froze when his genitals were grabbed that in his shocked state that he complied when the assailant motioned him into the stall. Andrew already said no. The assailant knew that. He didn’t care and then physically assaulted him. The assailant is guilty.
@@hindsightpov4218 When blacks and other minorities express opinions based on their experience, we do not discount their experience. The same should be permitted to the wrongly accused. That said, one's experience adds insight but can be challenged so you can challenge mine or anyone else's..
I would always thought Andrew is in the wrong. This is not complicated in my mind. He was not raped. He went into the stall and did not say no. He should not be an adult situation (a dorm) with such lacking maturity. Should I agree with your notion that he froze, which I don't buy, but should that be true, what kind of monster is Andrew to destroy the other person's life. The other person had reason to think Andrew was within the range of normal which would be someone that doesn't indicate "yes" when they mean "no." Where you are in error, is the notion that we must cater to the most disturbed people among us. We cannot, utopia is not a place. We cannot and must not cater to the hysterics among us. We can instead suggest that they get treatment and stay clear from adult situations they cannot manage.
Are you f==king kidding? If you walk into a bathroom stall in a dorm with another dude, have sex, you have consented. My God, the feminist talking points have got you hooked. You wrote this three years ago. I hope you have grown.
Wow. It's so sad that so many men are afraid to report because of the ideal that they should be "strong or fight back". Same for the people blaming and discounting Andrew's experience because he did not fight back. In the full article, it was published:
"He came up behind Andrew, grabbed his crotch and moved him into the bathroom stall. Frozen, Andrew protested but did not fight back, scared of what would happen if he did.
For 15 minutes the stranger assaulted him.
Andrew has a hard time articulating what he felt during the assault. All he remembers is being unable to speak or act. “I just remember focusing on the stall door, knowing that he was between me and my escape.”"
not only because they have to "be strong" Terry Crews came out about how he was sexually assaulted and everyone laughed at him.
He could have not entered the stall
He motioned to me to follow him into a stall, AND YOU WENT.
I feel bad for him, but the key phrase here was "he motioned me into the third stall"
DoublexKeyz that is the most stupid thing I've heard. Would you say that to a "grown woman"? Man are assaulted too
Lila, women fought or the right to get raped in the early 1960s. They didn't want people like you keeping them safe. The man;s crotch was touched and he freaked out. He needs psychological help to empower himself. He is pathetic. He actually blames another guy for coming onto him. It's not the job of one who wants sex to be nice or read minds. The one who wants the sex need only understand the word No. The rest is your generation being puritanical sickos who are bored because you don't know what things like fighting a war are and you don't have any idea what oppression truly is as you parents have treated you like babies and did not let you grow up. This young man could have said No. He could have said F--k off. He could have run. He could have called out for someone to help. He could have taken out his fist. A man must learn to protect his body if he is going to freak out so easily. A man must learn to fight if he's going to be such a feckless human being. I would add to that, this young man is a heartless jerk for having the other guy expelled.
brian fidel he was afraid. When someone's afraid, they don't know what to do. It happens!
Tina: Give me a break. This freeze thing is made up nonsense. Perhaps one freezes when they are pinned down and feel their life is endanger.
How are we going to send our young men to war if God forbid we are attacked? This young man is not fit to be away from home. It's not the guy who grabbed his crotch that is most problematic. It's Andrew. How do parents raise a boy who cannot say no once another man has grabbed toward his penis? This is as basic as tying one's shoelace. I don't think Andrew should be defended. I think he is right questioning his own masculinity as he did not act like a man--any kind of man. He acted like a child. I'm not saying guys should go around grabbing other guys crotches. That said, it's not the end of the world and resident assistant could have handled the entire matter. The grabber was probably drunk and probably Andrew not being able to say, "leave me alone" or "get the f out of here," was not clear. That said, once Andrew went into the stall with him, he became a willing partner.
Andrew and the expelled young man were in a bathroom stall having sexual relations. Surely this is in the current handbook as improper sex. If another student had walked into the bathroom, that student would be innocent and perhaps feel humiliated. In normal times, none of this would be a big deal and the boys having sex in a bathroom stall would merely be met with shame as in the other students later saying this was not cool for the guys to be doing this in the bathroom. Given that these are not normal times, Andrew should have been thrown out of Brown for creating a hostile sexually intimidating atmosphere.
Rick, why do you even feel bad for him? I feel bad for the guy who was expelled. Perhaps he was a drinker and he was gay and many in their culture are sexually aggressive that way. It the times have called for a change in this way, then adjusting to this change rather than expulsion is called for. But forgetting about the accused, Andrew should not be coddled. If the other guy motioned Andrew to jump out the window would Andrew have done it?
He motioned me into the stall?… Not dragged not pushed? I know you’re not allowed to question anyone anymore, but I Can’t help but wonder how we got from knocking on the door to motioning into the stall to begin with when the guy already knew the other person’s eyes were on him. Seems a little inconsistent
Not inconsistent. Insane, and we better start questioning because this clip illustrates what happens to a society when we don't. The Andrews of the world get to define consent. God help us.
I wondered about those very same things.
I feel so much for Andrew. I was not much older than him when an assault happened to me in Cambridge (Mass.) many years ago. All too often police, other relevant authorities do little, if anything.
Keep your head up and God bless you I hope you're Okay ❤
@@arianalushtaku4329 thank you; your thoughts are very much appreciated!
What happened to him? Did you willingly walk into a bathroom stall when a freshman at college? I am sorry for what happened to you but what Andrew did was imo done with consent.
@@Michael-te7fj you know, it migtht seem that way but we do not know the exact circumstances entirely...but there is such a thing as, recognized legally, as duress or coercion that play into consent...a tricky issue legally but I does sound more like he, Andrew "went along" out of fear...that's coercion and not true consent, is it?
@@austinballard6815 Yes, it sounds like consent. Although it sounds cold to say that consent can include fear, it has to in instances like these or things will become even more chaotic.
If we are to use fear as a reason to why Andrew could claim a lack of consent, we get into having the other student responsible for reading Andrew's mind. Reading minds in sexual situations is the worst of all worlds. Words as in "no," which doesn't preclude one asking a second time, and the need to say "no" a second time are a far better way to get points across than reading minds. Additionally, making consent simple is also best. No means no is just fine. Sometimes a no may switch to a yes, and that's a fact. At some point, for example, a grown man not walking into a bathroom stall with another man must be expected if he first says no, in other words, nothing says to me one has changed their mind much more than walking into a bathroom stall. We must not give into insanity for the sake of histrionics like Andrew, in order that all of the other sane students can if they are so inclined, change their minds in such situations which they often do. Human seduction is part of sex. Often one party has to entice or woo another one into the mood. Because Andrew is a hysteric and destroyed another human being's life as a result, the rest of humanity need not protect him. He was not fit to be an adult situation yet most other adults are. We don't protect those that drive just because they are of age if they can't see the road and demand to drive. The rest of us want to drive and incur the risk that being behind the wheel is. That said, if a blind man insists he has the right to drive and he insists we should support him when he causes a car crash and in addition, he wants to be paid damages, we should not indulge this madness. We should Not support this type of childish inability to make reasonable decisions. We could stop all driving because a blind man "should have the right to drive," but we don't, at least not yet. We can and sadly have extended sexual assault to mean a young adult man that cannot say no to walking into a bathroom stall? No, I say, let's make sure our adult men act like adults. Andrew was an adult and acting like a disturbed narcissist debasing the horrors that actual victims endure.
When did he say no I don't want to do this?or please stop?or anything of that nature?
Or grab his stuff and exit the Restroom?
"You're really hot"? Are you serious?
Literally nothing happened to him.
😂 My thoughts exactly. "He waved me into middle stall, where he continued to touch me." Wtf did you go into the stall with him?
This guy is a strong and courageous man, because it must be difficult to speak out
He is a man in age but a child in mentality. He got off in a bathroom stall with another guy and ruined the guys life later. Both young men should have been reprimanded for having sex in the school's public bathroom. I would not want to use a bathroom wherein people are having sex in a stall. The school took an action under Title Nine to protect themselves from lunatics like Andrew. Older people know this is insane. You should to. There is no there-there with this story.
Thanks, strong,n courageous wow thanks, not sure if I fit that mold but thanks. The rape was a piece of a huge section of my life that if I did not talk about it I was going to go insane, not kidding. I had finally found the love that I never thought would come, well he found me. Orlando was my absolute, complete, my all. He was a captain in the AirForce. I was in the hospital for a pretty bad car accident, which led to a situation even worse when was given medication I was allergic. This lead to both lungs collapsing, liver doubling, eye lids attaching to the eye ball, spinal collumn shifting. After a surgery where I was not given any pain meds & was completely awake during the surgery. I saw the scalpel slice my cornea then the doctor used tweezers to pull the cut cornea off my eye, did the same to the other then left. I was put back in a room where I remember looking down seeing myself with tubes going in & coming out everywhere. As I leaned back it was like a window that I was looking down at myself. Then everything was so bright, blinding but it did not blind my eyes. I could feel the warmth welcoming with this great joy. Then a man's voice said it was not my time & in a flash I was back. 6 weeks I was in that hospital fighting to be released. Later I found out that that mixup was never checked to see in my medical records because it does say about my allergies. That I had a less than 10% chance to LIVE. That the doctor after finding about my allergies put me back on the medication after he had known what it had done. After forcing the doctor my release I went home hoping to see Orlando had returned from fighting at war but he was no where. So I called this government agency to locate troops during active duty. It takes about a month, so I waited & still nothing. So after those very long waiting period I called him. Such a great kind man explained that Orlando had died. I kept hearing this screaming coming somewhere, but I was home alone, & in a flash I realized that painful scream was coming deep within me.
There is so much more that I went thru. Years & years of depression that kept getting worse. So hard OMG no idea how bad all it was all happening at the same time.
It is getting late, or rather early here. Maybe we can talk again..
Trace
Don't follow into stall
I just want to hug him! I am a survivor as well!
Hug him? Why? This guy got laid in a bathroom stall after of his own free will having walked in there. These two with their homosexual copulation or whatever they were doing would expose other students to witnessing or hearing a sex act or at the very least see four legs in a stall when they walked into the bathroom. It's grotesque, albeit not the end of the world. Both these dudes should have received a warning from the school to stay out of sexual relations in the school's public areas.
Story does not make sense he is just looking for attention and looking for a story to make people feel bad for him
I don't think he was a victim and I don't agree with the expulsion of the other student.
I just don't understand how he wasn't a victim in your eyes? Please explain
Daniel Robinson i agree
Tina Lemus this viewpoint might be due to the fact he didn't get forcibly placed into that stall. Also, a key was needed to enter and he didn't have to open the door. However, none of that matters in court. The only thing that matters is once in the stall, was it consensual. If at any moment either party was not coherent or unresponsive/in disagreement, then it is difficult to say whether or not he is a "victim" or regrettably afterwards recalling the scenario
Yeah, personal experience and feelings aside,
Objectively speaking , I doubt any of this would stand a chance in court. High chance of being dismissed. You opened unlocked door, you followed him to stall, you were in a public safe place, where you could have easily asked or yelled for help, ... being frozen and shocked , is very very EXREMELY SUSPICIOUS alibi or excuse .
@@ET2carbon Not really. At a certain point, one can assume. For example, if he is kissing the other person, that's a way on indicating consent. The hook up culture invites this confusion.
he speaks like valley girl...he didn't know how to react to defend himself...missing basic instincts
in my 6th grade I've been sexual harassed with my teacher for almost a year and i found out he was arrested for the same crime he has done to me, I think Karma serves him what he deserves and at home I've been sexual harassed with my Uncle when I was in my 4th grade he did it twice. No one knows about what happened up to this year 2020.
Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you were able to get help to find some measure of peace.
A good loud scream would have stopped the abuse. It did for me.
Why a scream? Why not just walk away rather than following the other dude into a bathroom stall and then blaming the other dude for what he willingly agreed to do by going into the stall.
I'm sorry that you were assaulted! But you said something that triggered me. You said he motioned you to go into the stall. Why did you go and not out of the bathroom?
I wondered the same thing.
Not everyone has a fight or flight response. Some people surprise themselves by mentally and physically freeze up. Unless you’re in the exact same situation yourself, you really don’t know how you would react, even if you think you would automatically run.
@@hindsightpov4218 No! I know what I would do. In a court of law this would not hold up as rape. This would hold up as something else, sexual harassment maybe. In courtroom trail that statement alone would change everything.
@@JT-ok6re
You think you know what you would do. But you were never sexually assaulted so you don’t know with absolute certainty.
People who did freeze instead of doing fight or flight surprised themselves that they froze when they thought they would run if they found themselves in this situation. People don’t always respond the way they think they would. It’s called being human. We’re all imperfect. Not everything we do makes perfect sense, despite our best intentions.
Grabbing a person’s genitals isn’t harassment. That’s assault. This assailant clearly didn’t like that Andrew rejected him and escalated the situation by making it about power by doing sexual acts onto Andrew that Andrew did not want. That’s rape.
@@hindsightpov4218 Feminist lies. He went in willingly. There was nothing to freeze up about. The guy did not have a knife to him. He followed the guy. Stop making excuses for Andrew. He is not mentally fit to be an adult situations.therefore he should not be there and stop getting other people expelled for awkward advances.
Part of it it s more about self confidence and fear that lead to not taking action...Sad
It didn't sound like he was forced
So what are you saying; it was invited? You're as big of a shitbag as the guy that assaulted him.
Moron
He did not describe how the assailant forced the assault and he does not have to. He told the guy no!! Anything beyond that is assault! How stupid of you.
You can say no afterwards too.
@@Brunette84no. Can't unscramble scrambled eggs
I have to agree with other comments... This sounds very fishy. And it sounds like your regret got somebody kicked out of college.
I am a black belt in tae kwon do. I have fought against other black belts during tournaments & won, broken boards with both hands & my feet. I know how to defend myself. In my final year of college while living off campus I was raped. I am also a gay man & so was the other guy. It was a date gone way bad. He wanted & I didn’t & next thing.. well everyone knows what’s next. You were brave I didn’t press charges or anything.
I have shared this story with so many people, first year college students. If it can happen to me, YOU, it can happen to anyone. What I do know it was not our fault & we are not to blame for ANYTHING..
Stay strong my friend..
Trace
Why didn't you use your tae kwon do skills to defend yourself?
Wait what,?
@@MrSerendipity01 sorry it took so long to respond . When you have a certain color belt, red & higher you are listed in Washington DC & Atlanta Georgia as a lethal weapon. That’s because of years & years of training. Breaking board, sparring with another class mate so if it might happen, gun pulled or knife you can protect yourself rather than killed. The worst thing any person can do when help up with a knife or gun is get in a car with him. DO NOT EVER FOR ANY REASON GO TO ANOTHER LOCATION WITH THAT PERSON. THERE IS ALMOST a 90% you will be murdered or wished.
I am a gay good looking & it took only once, a few seconds to let my guard down. I knew better & for that only take responsibility. I never asked for anything from him, not even a kiss. The only reason I did not prosecute him was for what he said the next day when he was standing out next to my car. Yes I came inches from kicking & breaking his leg or jaw. But I would be in jail no matter what he had done. He had a huge personal problem & he needed help not jail time. It's been over 20 + years & yes we keep in touch. Now, he is a great guy & we both grew from that horrible time.
Not everyone should forgive, & personally if it was anyone other than him I would have prosecuted. I know it does not make logical sende, but for me, completely. Everyone makes mistakes & I would hope I would be given another chance. He never lied about anything & explained everything knowing if it got out what happened his famous career would probably end. Now if he would have tried to physically hurt me, total different story..
I hope this helps
T
@@goddestroyer3416 thanks for commenting on my posting. WOW …. I SHOULD NOT POST WHEN I'M EXHAUSTED.. THANKS AGAIN.
@@tracedial6216you should not justify yourself
The person who asks you why you didn't fight back is victim blaming you. It is the same when people ask why victims don't shout
A victim is always a victim. It is the rapist who is guilty
Really? Just scream out. Are we sure he didnt want any part of this?
or don't walk in to a stall with another guy in it to begin with.
Letting someone touch you and then regretting it later is not sexual assault and undermines those people who actually are sexually assaulted.
As a psychologist, allowing someone to touch you doesn't always mean consent. Some people have been abused so badly as children that they feel easily intimidated by sexually aggressive people and easily give in. Submission does not mean consent.
Wasbhe raped or not? I hope not.
John, as a psychologist, you suck. That's obviously not what happened there.
John, it may not always mean consent but we must not give into the histrionics and narcissists. They must get treatment and live in the normal world rather than have us rearrange sanity. Sex between a man and a woman is a wonderful thing, or for some, between the same sex.
For those that are not well enough to say no, they do not belong living away at school in a dorm environment. If a grown man cannot refuse going into a bathroom stall, he is not well and should be treated as such.
We don't make excuses for those that may have been so badly abused as children that they may be re-enacting through sexual aggressiveness rather we treat them at best, and imprison them. So as for Andrew, he needs treatment. To put it the old-fashioned way, someone needs to make a man out of him, not because he is gay, but because he is gay meaning implicit in these comments but unsaid, is that Andrew is not man enough to take a stand.
Men and women must be taught to say no and that no means no and everything else must be done away with. It's that simple. Respectfully, as a psychologist, I believe you are failing your patients by endorsing this behavior.
College students today are so coddled that they might as well have taken a CBT worksheet and flipped it in a quest to be as psychologically unfit as possible.
You are entitled to your opinion, but I will not stoop to your level. Some of us have class and regardless of what you say I believe him.
I have been violated a few times but never thought much of it. I usually feel comfortable but I always felt safe because there were people around me. One time a friend of mine got really and he kept making advances on me and I kept pushing him off. That was a bizzare and scary night and that was at my dads house. I locked myself in the room and my friend now ex friend left the same night. I never thought of the situations I was in as me being sexually assaulted even when guys would straight dry hump me at school, grab my ass at the club, or a stranger straight hugging me at the bus verbalizing that they can just kidnap me. I am safe. That was some rando at the beach that I have never been back to.
I honestly think there are a lot of men gay and straight that have been violated and don’t recognize that they have been. I think it’s because every time we hear about sexual assault, and rape it’s always portrayed as the victim being a woman and the violator as the man. So growing up I never had meaning to describe what had happened to me. I think more videos like this are needed to show that regardless of your gender, sex, and sexual orientation that you can be a victim of sexual assault and rape.
You were a child, this is a grown man that didn't walk out or say no. No comparison.
but he did follow the initial 'motioning' into the bathroom stall; didn't he know the forceful word 'NO' ?
Andrew, you said that this guy motioned you to come into a stall that he was in...Why did you go in ???...Why didn't you just turn around and leave...Am I missing something ???...
😢I am sorry this happened to you, and proud that you were able to share your story and go on to help others.
why are you sorry for a dude that willingly got off in a public bathroom with another dude he followed into a stall. he is a creep for not coping to what HE did.
'Motioned me in to the stall'...ummmm, so what, you went in willingly? You didn't even say if you asked him to stop once he started touching you. I'm in no ways doubting his story - but this is bad journalism and the HuffPost should have asked the right questions.
Ok I'm glad someone said it that's the part that I didn't quite grasp.
He said no, and then followed him into the stall.
Why are you "in no ways doubting his story?" You're too kind, the story is nuts and the Huff Post is insane for giving this young man a forum for his histrionics.
It's the feeling of helplessness
Its something many people experience, where they feel like they just can't say no.
The Huff doesn’t operate on truth. It doesn’t sell. Sensationalism does.
That's not assault...
Thank you for sharing your story, and for having the courage to go after your assaulter so that others may hopefully be saved. I hope you are able to heal from this experience.
Courage? This dude Andrew got off, regretted it, and destroyed the life of the guy he got off with.
@@Michael-te7fj
You’re blaming the victim and standing up for the assailant. This assailant did the same thing to others. He’s a sexual predator.
@@Michael-te7fj and there you are again
@@lennardusyoutube8505 Can we start with admitting that Andrew would never be fit for the military! Men that freeze up when asked to go into a stall are not men that could fight a hostile enemy. If we extrapolate from there, we can see Andrew should not be in an adult envir.
@@lennardusyoutube8505 cont. If your goal is to have a generation of weak men that cannot speak up for the dignity of their own body when asked to go into a stall, you are pro-infantilizing adults. We must, imo, make sure young adults are fit for adult situations. You are doing Andrew no favors in that indulging his histrionics is not good.
I don't believe these gentlemen even exchanged words. I think made eye contact and the guy proceeded to follow him and the man groped him.
Men deserve protection from rape as much as anyone else and I admire those who speak out. But this guy could not say No to a single person who took him calmly to a stall ? What ? Why didn’t he resist if it was not consensual ? He looks hale and hearty! Story is fishy. At least half made up, and it makes life worse for real victims.
Yes it does seem fishy.
A lot of people here appear to be woefully unaware that not everyone has a fight or flight response. Some people freeze up, mentally and physically. Their brain goes into autopilot and they comply with the assailant’s orders out of fear.
Even people who think they would run if they sensed they were going to be attacked are surprised themselves that they didn’t run when it happened to them.
Oh 🍯, I guess in this story nobody really got assaulted ... I really feel this is a drama of an un contented gay sex...
They made eye contact and he felt him staring at him??? Then seconds later he opens the door to a knock lol. Um yeah, he knew it was the guy but yet he opened the door anyway, he could have yelled, screamed, fought , no mention of guy having a weapon, but no he just let it happen with ease plus he said this was the fifth guy he'd been with , yeah ya can't rape the willing.
Stop victim blaming, wtf.
Since when opening a door is a consent to be r*pe ?! My god what an idiot
@@Sangwoo_oncrackdon't go into a stall if unwanted
Sounds like he decided to hook up and just regretted it after. He didn’t have to go into the stall.
RIGHT!!!
If someone says “No” or “Stop” at anytime during or before sex, the other person needs to STOP. So whether he willingly went into the stall or not; if he indeed withdrew consent, the other guy should have stopped.
The “fifth time” part though did make me laugh though. As a freshman in college, I was barely experienced with even one person. I didn’t get to #5 until after college, and by that time, I knew the deal. I don’t buy this story completely.
The Professional you can say no after too. Regret is now considered rape.
He never once said (or indicated) to his “abuser” to stop. Not once. I suggest you get your facts straight before you make a judgement call.
John 3:36, ESV: "Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him."
How dare you man
I do certainly agree with you.
Same, laugh at the line of 5th times.
Isn't that mean that he did like with others?
Or at the 5th times from his abuser?
But did he beat him or something? Did he use force? If he didn't like the way he toutch him why did he let him to continue? There is something missing in that story?
I feel so sorry for what you had to go through. And thank you for sharing this with us. Just so you know, there are numerous people out there being supportive of you and we sincerely hope that things will get better for you.
He should seek psychological help. Catastrophizing isn't good for one's mental health.
Respectfully, I think you are crazy. I feel sorry for the guy who came onto him because he wanted sex, is not a mind reader, and had a dude follow him into a stall who would later destroy his life.
Brenden, I missed your comment earlier today. These crazy kids are doing exactly the opposite of what CBT theory works on. You are exactly right.
@@Michael-te7fj he literally told him he wasn’t interested dumbass
Incredibly brave to share your story. Sorry you had to go through this at the beginning of your time at University. By sharing you have changed lives of others. This was posted 6 years ago - hope you are having an incredible life!! :)
Why go into the stall andrew
So you're 1st night in college you went off and drank found students to be friendly wuth and you kicked it ...the rest is history come on now
The moral of the story is that men need mace too! You shouldn't blame yourself at all for your sexual assault. You were caught off guard in a confined space. This guy was the predator and you were the prey. He know what he was doing and had done it before. He had you exactly where he wanted, unexpecting, confused and helpless. It has nothing to do with being a man. It's about being victimized! What the hell could you do? You don't even know if he had a gun or knife on him anyway! Now you can use this tragedy to help others be more aware of the circumstances in which they find themselves. Actually you are a hero and a survivor! ✌✌✌
He could have walked away after tge motion
This happened to me in high school my 3 tormentors trapped me walking home one day and raped me. This tore my life apart from drugs and alcohol risky sex the downfall was complete with the help of a great therapist I've faced the demons of my past and now live a cleaner happier life the shame is the biggest thing I felt it was my fault somehow I could have stopped them but I never said a word to anyone for over 20 years finally after so much damage to myself I found the courage to speak my truth. I'm able to talk about today and not feel the shame or of being alone.
Speak your truth don't hide or it will eat you alive
I'm so glad the university didn't try to hide behind "your word against his word" crap, and expelled this creep. So sorry this happened to you - you handled it with bravery and a lot of strength.
Only becsudecthr guy had had multiple complaints
I have this story as well as I'm also a victim of Sexual assault like him at Einstein Dorms the Tel Aviv University Dorms in 2008 - 2009 as I seek a Psychiatric medicine and went to Psychological help from Tel Aviv University for 3 years - this Maniac was Sohel Awad from Tamrah Room E 44-43
Hey I was molested also you live in israel?
Psalm 34:18 *"The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit."*
Matthew 11:27 *"Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."*
John 6:37 Jesus says *"Everyone the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will NEVER drive away."* 🌱🙏🏽🤍
Did you follow into the stall