What were you wearing? A project to end victim-blaming
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- Опубликовано: 8 май 2021
- Trigger warning: These true stories are difficult for anyone to hear, especially victims/survivors of sexual violence.
“What were you wearing?” is one of the most common questions victims of sexual violence endure. It suggests that somehow the victim could have prevented their assault. It is never the victim’s fault. To combat victim-blaming, 360 Communities recently launched a campaign to collect stories from survivors and present them along with the clothes they wore at the time of their assault.
With our “What were you wearing?” project, 360 Communities seeks to dispel the myth that the clothes a person wears can invite sexual violence. We want to shift the focus back to where it belongs: the perpetrator. We asked for victims/survivors of sexual assault to share their experiences anonymously to help us do this.
The stories they submitted are heart-breaking and reflect what the sobering statistics tell us:
Sexual violence is prevalent.
It frequently happens to children.
Most do not report the crime.
We realize that watching this and recalling your assault may be triggering. Please take the time and space you need to process anything you are feeling and practice self-care. If you need support, please call RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline available 24/7. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). If you are in Minnesota, contact 360 Communities' 24/7 Sexual Assault Hotline at (651) 405-1500, or visit 360Communities.org or the Minnesota Coalition Against Sexual Assault (MNCASA) website MNCASA.org for more resources.
Internationally, you can find support in your country with this global directory from No More: nomoredirectory.org.
View our video "We Believe You."
• We Believe You
Please comment and share. Thank you!
I hate how people say “But weren’t you dating?” Assault is assault.
Okay but being assaulted by a stranger vs an SO vs a spouse are very different crimes that will have different consequences depending on the person. Rape affects everyone differently, and with a stranger it's more of a violation whereas with an SO or spouse it's more of a betrayal.
@@comethawk2663 Crap. It's a VIOLATION either way. If a person said no. IT'S A NO. it doesn't make the pain any less, the trauma any less, be it the partner or a stranger.
@@IloveGardensandteaparties Why are you trying to tell other people how they should be traumatized? I'm just explaining that asking about the crime is reasonable and not everyone is victim blaming
@@comethawk2663 Don't spin my own words against me. I never told anyone how to be traumatized.
And secondly, I didn't see a single thing which sounds like an explanation, it is litreally just your opinion. Your so-called explanation was uncalled for.
@@IloveGardensandteaparties You actually did, you said it doesn't make the pain or trauma any less, which completely depends on the person. It's not an opinion, people react differently to each. I suppose it's my opinion that none of them are wrong because of how they were hurt. I think my explanation was needed because the implication of the original comment was that people asking "but weren't you dating" are doing something wrong, when it's a reasonable question to ask to understand the situation.
"just because someone is your partner doesn't mean they have access to your body anytime they want"
oh my gosh YES this is so important
@Mahoxz Ch. マホックス not even that… if the person doesn’t want one u don’t give them one no is no to everything and anything
Mahoxz Ch. マホックス ONLY IF GIVEN PERMISSION.
@Mahoxz Ch. マホックス no, hugs are also included in this. No matter what, you always ask to touch someone. You have to ask for a hug, you don't know if they are comfortable with it or not.
I hate anime pfp profiles so much, especially if they contain stupid anime girls. Then I would do something as Doom Slayer/Postal Guy did. Just pure slaughter :)
Too bad anime girls don't exist irl 😣
Wtf
Being married doesn't automatically give consent.
Dating doesn't automatically give consent.
Being nice doesn't automatically give consent.
Wearing more revealing clothes doesn't automatically give consent.
My husband raped me once. He wanted what he wanted and I had promised to obey ... I divorced him eventually, but really? Some people are just shits.
Consent is always genuine and verbal! never annoy or guilt trip someone into sleeping with you.
People who go to Comic-Con understand that Cosplay Isn’t Consent. I wish the rest of society would learn that.
@@sleeplessstudios7626 even some people in kids cartoon when the cartoon character wears something revealing. If kids can understand consent, why can’t adults?
This.
My mother said "oh it doesn't count as a rape, you didn't struggle and he was your boyfriend".
Just think about it.
I. Didn't. Struggle. Enough. For her.
I'm so sorry to hear that.
That's horrible that you're mom said that, your mom must have forgotten about how people can be roofied, go into freeze response even being too scared to say no to their partner or that marital rape/date rape is a real thing too. That's such a disrespectful thing to say to their child she needs to educate herself on this subject and support you I hope that you can heal too personally calling sexual assault hotline helped me out, counciling from the right person can go a long way
Can i speak to your " mom"
These things just urge me more and more to be a responsible grown up, and when I become a mother I know that I will be great. I’m so sorry for everything you went through, it is never your fault, your struggle will always be heard and you are enough. Please stay safe and appreciate yourself ❤
I understand. I’ve gone through the same thing. It is going to be okay. It feels like the end of the world most of the time, it really does. Especially when people don’t believe you, or make it feel like it’s your fault. You need to remember that THEY are in the wrong. You are innocent, you deserve better. There will always be people who truly care; not like those people, like your mother. I may be a stranger, but I truly feel your pain. And I care. Remember that. Always.
I was assaulted by my own classmate, twice, while wearing a school uniform. I will never forget what he did.
I'm so sorry that it happened to you
Well l think HE MUST FEEL ASHAMED!!!! And l wish you that you shouldn't be ashamed
Hey I was not assaulted but harresed-he moved his hand on my thigh to the inside of my skirt n the worst part I was not able to slap him & teach manners BTW ma'am was teaching and he asked the shittest question, u may never have expected fron 7 years old boy
I was 7
I hate that guy and gonna give him some shit that
Gonna take down his self centered person thingy
Pros : I learnt to be strong on my own (never cried )
Con : was not able to trust any men even my dad
And thanks to lockdown I came to know that I love my dad so so much ❤
@@iwillbeurgirl4932 crying isn’t being weak tho
i’m so sorry!!!
it must’ve took a lot of courage to comment that ❤️ i wish you the best
DONT ONLY PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN. EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN.
dont ONLY protect ur CHILDREN. educate ur CHILDREN
Don't ONLY protect your children, EDUCATE your children!!!!
dont ONLY protect ur CHILDREN. educate ur CHILDREN
Don't ONLY protect your children, EDUCATE your children
Say it louder for the parents in the back!!!!!
“Was it really my fault?”
asked the Short Skirt.
“No, it happened with me too,”
replied the Burka.
The diaper in the corner couldn’t even speak.
-Darshan Mondkar
I'm gutted.
That made me sick to my stomach
What the fuck
omg it took me a moment to realize, thats disgusting
HOLY shit...
Saying "what were you wearing" is not only victim blaming, it also actively supports SA and rape
Saying "what were you wearing" is DEFENDING the perpetrator; saying there was a reason for them to do it and justifying it
CLOTHES do not make a difference
GENDER does not make a difference
It is never a victims fault, and anyone can be a victim, anyone can be a perpetrator
It isnt just female victim male perpetrator
Edit: some people in the replies; rape isn't about how attracted the perpetrator is to the victim, its about how much power they hold over the victim and taking advantage
Wearing ANYTHING will not make a difference, no matter how much or how little you're covered because it isn't about LOOKS, it's about POWER. It's about the perpetrator seeing the victim as an object they have power over.
Yeah that’s kinda the point of the video
@Draculala_ woah really?! (sarcasm)
The perpetrators are OBVIOUSLY guilty, but is there really nothing we personally can do to prevent and protect ourselves from that to happen? I know that unwanted things like this can happen, but I believe we can reduce the possibility of that happening, such as clothes of choice and defense items. The question is not trying to defend the perpetrators, it's about finding a solution towards the problem so that the victim does not become a victim again. Questioning is being emphatic to the victim in a logical sense.
@@noisy99_ what do you mean by "clothes of choice"??
@@noisy99_ Bless your heart honey did you not watch the video? Their clothes did NOTHING to protect them from a predator's gaze and intentions. Is that scary? Yes. But reality is scary. The only real protection is learning self-defense and even then it's not guaranteed. Also, everyone damn well knows that this question is NOT out of kindness to the victim, it is ALWAYS trying to persuade the victim and others that it was their fault and that the perpetrator should go free.
Me and my classmates had a conversation with my teacher, about sexual assault and harassment. My teacher said that you should think about what signals you are sending with your clothes and just made it sound like it was the victim fault Even the boys in my class thought that the teacher was wrong. the teacher was a woman.
that’s so bad
i’m sorry
Aged 18
I was wearing a school uniform
Trousers shirt jumper tie
He kept gliding his finger along my leg and arm
I told him to stop
It happened in a classroom
His friends especially the females kept encouraging him to do it
That's when I hit him in the lower stomach nearly knocking him out 😊
The principal suspended him for 3 weeks and I threatened him (the boy) that if he ever done it again I'd call the police
@@teresadownes2422 I hope that you're okay now ❤️
@@teresadownes2422 I’m glad you didn’t let that shit slide, some lessons need to be taught the hard way 😤
The fact that most of them are kids, is how bad our society is..DO BETTER!!
I would expect the percentage of rape victims that are children to rise in the future. Educating the males or increasing jail sentences will not help. If you want to protect children the only option is to provide help for pedophiles and make them use that help. Biologically reproduction is the purpose of life and if you want someone to stop doing what their biology tells them to you will need more than a better education system and general attitude.
@@2lizard559 except common sense should be stronger than biology.. you can just go pleasure yourself or pleasure yourself with a different kind of method, but blaming this on biology is the dumbest thing i've heard, a lot of humans don't want to even reproduce
@@2lizard559 your biology does NOT tell you to go after kids. Your biology does NOT tell you to go after anyone. People are responsible for their own actions. Biology has nothing to do with it. Do better, stop letting horrible people hide behind this shitty excuse
@@2lizard559 Biology is supposed to help you to understand how the world works, is not supposed to give you ideas of why you have to hurt people. Biology also tells you a child is not capable of reproduce.
Natural sciences also tells you a lot how rape affects the victim and is s danger to humanity, so does every single other science.
Maybe read actual books???
@@2lizard559 i agreed with you until the last sentences, what the fuck even was that???
People need to understand that sexual assault is not sex. It is violence, and an act done in order to humiliate, take control, or overpower another, just like any other act of violence. If someone was stabbed in the neck, we would not say it was their fault that their neck was on display to stab.
THIS! This is EXACTLY what my brain couldn't put into words, thank you
@@OmniNeon900uhh who said we should walk naked?? no one said that weirdo. Plus what about changing and showering? Are you insane?
@@OmniNeon900 Ok but what precautions ? Did you see the clothes ? They were not only age appropriate but they weren't even revealing ones. Most of the victims were quite underage. One was even wearing skying gear ! Others weren't alone or just trusted people they were SUPPOSED to trust like their boyfriend or teacher. Again, what precautions ? No matter how cautious you are, if someone wants to rape a child they will.
@@OmniNeon900 the only person responsible for a rape is the RAPIST. PERIOD!!!! JEsus. Effin. Christ. Of course we should take any precautions anytime we can. But it is for our OWN PEACE OF MIND, it is NOT TO MAKE IT MORE OKAY FOR RAPISTS TO RAPE IF WE DO NOT!
@@FruitsChinpoSamuraiGplease help me by reporting that persons comment. absolutely horrific that anybody could see a video like this and STILL criminalize and blame victims and potential victims or assaults like this. im lucky that i havent been assaulted before but every day i live with fear in the back of my mind that it very likely COULD happen to me, no matter how careful, asocial, and defensive i am. you are absolutely right that it is never the victims fault and people SHOULDNT HAVE to try to "protect" themselves from assault. like you said, rapists will hurt people no matter what. they will FIND A WAY to hurt people, no matter how well protected those people are. nobody should live their whole life terrified and paranoid. nobody should have to be on the defensive for fear of being attacked.
I was wearing a matching set of pajamas. My step dad had invited me to watch a movie. I was 11.
I had to face him in court
It’s never the victims fault.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope you are doing better now and you're surrounded with love and care like you deserve.
You should not have had to experience this and I am so sorry. You are so strong for persevering and on top of that, reporting him and standing up to him. Ive heard giving a testimony is one of the hardest things you can do and I am so proud of you. It is not your fault, take care.
I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you and it totally reinforces not victim blaming. Praying that you are able to find true unconditional love from God and others around you.
That's horrible that you ever went through something like that and I hope you find peace
im so sorry
It doesn't matter what you wore, whether it being revealing or not. Its not your fault that people can't keep their hands to themself. Its so disgusting that people still victim blame.
I agree it’s discussing how people still blame victims
I completely agree. I also like your pfp
@Mahoxz Ch. マホックス Sadly most of the people who do sexual assault dont do it for sexual pleasure, instead they do it to have a feeling of power. Its SO messed up
Ikr...like what?if im wearing an apron does that automatically make me a chef. People keep saying clothese dont make the man , but when this is happening, clothese decides
i've been harassed in both summer dresses and wintercoats. i was completely covered when two guys decided to touch my tits, clothing has never mattered. people really just want to excuse rapists
I don’t care if you are literally naked. You ALWAYS have the right to say no!
YES! WE NEED MORE BEINGS LIKE YOU!!
I mean if you're naked you will probably make some people uncomfortable and you shouldn't around children but yeah people still need your consent for anything
Edit: ok sorry for the latter. I didn't think this comment through, I'm just an idiot like that. I know bodies aren't a threat, all I know is that I've always felt uncomfortable personally when I would see naked bodies as a child
Also I'm sorry lately I haven't been thinking anything through because I'm an idiot and I keep being an idiot please be understanding sorry
Edit two: also I didn't mean "if you're naked it's ok to be r#ped" I meant "don't be naked around people if it makes them uncomfortable". I sincerely apologize for the confusion and I hope people can understand
Edit three: also please. I'm sorry for making this comment, I understand that I added nothing to the discussion, but I would really prefer to just be left alone. I understand what I did and what I implied but really I don't wanna talk about it anymore. I know I can just delete the reply but I don't want to be one of those people asking controversial statements and simply removing them while the replied to the statement remain present
@@insertunoroginalnamehere6189 the point was about people be able to wear whatever they want and not being raped.
@@insertunoroginalnamehere6189what do you mena “shouldn’t be around children”? How are human bodies bad for children?
@@insertunoroginalnamehere6189 children also have bodies yk, children also go to beaches and see almost naked bodies, unless you are exposing yourself to a child and have ill intents then its literally just a body. children or being naked 24/7 everywhere you go wasnt even mentioned at all. you missed the entire point.
The fact a freaking 11 year old tried over dosing after being assaulted just shows how embarrassed and ashamed they must have felt even when it was not their fault. I hope they find some comfort. And that their family and friends helped them❤❤❤
This is no sad and terrible
I cannot share my age but this is so young… wow.
I was 15 and walking to class with my friends by going up a flight of stairs. Directly behind me, an older female student sexually assaulted me by shoving her fingers under my school skirt into - well I’m female, so guess where :( . I was literally talking to my friends (who didn’t realise what was happening) a moment before - it was so out of nowhere, and that scared me. She did it again several times, and because it was so crowded with people getting to class, I physically couldn’t move away. I just had to endure it til I got to the top of the stairs. She had some friends with her and they were all laughing hysterically at me. I went silent out of shock and embarrassment, maybe if I screamed or something, I would’ve gotten away quicker - but I try not debate what I could’ve done differently.
Even with CCTV footage, and a confession from her and 1 or 2 of her friends - none received major punishment because it was “too close to the end of the school year”.
I genuinely think that both of us (me and my attacker) being female played a part in the lack of consequence. It’s so frustrating because any gender can be a victim and any gender can be the attacker. Just because female-on-female attack is “unusual” , doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. Same for a female attacking a male.
What the literal hell gives her the right to violate someone else's body like that? I'm so angry at this.
I am so sorry, this is awful!
Omg... how I'd love to be a fly on the wall of her consciousness when she realises what she did to you (the trauma not only mentally but also physically).
I'm not justifying the act, but I'm assuming it was done to humiliate and belittle you in front of her friends/everyone (I'm assuming that it wasn't for her sexual gratification) .... the old "we were just joking around, it was a prank".
I hope you've managed to heal from this experience... high school girls can be such massive cun+s.
It honestly shouldn’t matter what they’re wearing. Women (and men) should be able to wear whatever they want without worry of being assaulted, and even thinking that it was their fault is disgusting
Yeah, that’s something Kiri would say.
@Zehran unfortunately wearing more or less clothing is not going to stop an abuser, the video is proof of that, so clothing shouldn't be a reason to disbelieve the victim, or blame the victim.
@Zehran i agree with you with taking measures like telling friends where are we going, not being alone with strangers and stuff (bc it actually helps to avoid the situations, or at least to be more prepared if something happens), but i don't think wearing "modest" clothes is gonna help to avoid abusers, i don't think people should stop dressing as they want just because there's bad people out there, i think there's other measures that you can take (that are actually useful)
It is never the victim's fault. It's always the assaulter's fault. However, you do need to protect yourself if you don't want bad things to happen to you. A decent person wouldn't even think of hurting someone no matter what they wear. Unfortunately, sick people exist so we can't expect everyone to be sane.
@Zehran it won’t stop people believe me, there are a lot of people who were raped and didn’t wear provocative clothes
It really hurts when people don't take spousal or partner rape seriously. I've heard people say that they 'owe' sex to each other before, and it is so sad.
Yeah.. :( especially when they argue 24/7 but consider it a normal thing, because everybody argues in relationships constantly right? No… but most think it’s normal.
In 1994, the UK finally enacted a law that made spousal rape an actual crime. Up until then a man could be charged with a form of assault, even property damage if he'd broken into his estranged wife's home, but not any form of sexual assault. Because it was assumed in law that when a woman said "I do" it meant "I always do."
*1994!!* (I was 31).
@@littlewoodimp It's just terrible how recent all of this is. In the States, I think the laws changed to include martial rape as a form of rape in 1994 as well. It wasn't until recently (and I'm talking about 2010s) that some state legislations saying that sexual violence between cohabiting spouses couldn't be prosecuted without (threat of) force were repealed. It's just fucking ridiculous
it’s messed up it’s not even sex, sex is done by two or more people, not by one, it’s rape
Marital rape is a a crime and should be talked about more m
I want to do a series switching sexual assault with thievery. “I passed out. When I woke up, my bank account was empty. Police couldn’t confirm it wasn’t consensual”. “My girlfriend stole my wallet and bought 3,000$ necklace. She said it was the best gift I ever gave her.”
I don’t think some humans get consent when it deals with sex. Like “I had a good time, why didn’t you?” Where, just like transacting money, it’s only ok if both parties are ok with it.
This is a bad comparision because people don't get robbed for fun but people have sex for fun and pleasure.
I really like that metaphor, it’s genius and could help many people understand these situations better. How do you plan to,make the series?
I also like this metaphor! Keeping this in the mental library in case I ever have the unfortunate opportunity of having to explain this to someone.
That's a really, really good idea!
@furthings There's also the age old tea metaphor. If they're unconscious, they don't want tea. Don't force tea on someone who doesn't want to drink it.
"It was my fault?" The mini skirt asked.
"No. It happened to me too" answered the burka.
"But I don't understand," said the primary school uniform.
"No one does," the long pants responded.
And the diaper in the corner didn't even know how to speak yet.
this.
I'm crying
i started sobbing when i read this if it being so fr
Bro why you gotta make me cry like this 😢
that's horrific... my heart sank at the last line
The cross country one makes me SO mad. He didn’t receive punishment just because she MAYBE flirted over text?! The school also had the AUDACITY to ask what she was wearing. ITS NOT THE VICTIMS FAULT IN ANY SITUATION!
It's disgusting, not to mention she was UNDERAGE. Jeez no matter what she was wearing and no matter if she was 'flirting' (she wasn't but even if she was) she was underage, that right there should have been a prison sentence. I'm wondering if maybe because they contacted the school, if they had contacted the cops the law may have been able to do something but I don't know the specifics. That guy should be castrated (as well as the rest of them).
It almost made the throw up when she said that her teammate held her arms down. Jesus Christ, I can't imagine him not being held accountable :(
@@mamamigi2775 Fr. It was also a 3 people thing, like wtf??
She was literally going to a track meet if they were really worried about what the girl was wearing they would've given her team long, loose shorts and a slightly oversized short sleeve shirt.
Also, what constitutes “flirting” anyway? Is it “being nice”?? How could they decide for her that she was flirting with him, and even then, how is that a justification? It’s infuriating.
Even if the victim is in a bikini/trunks DOES NOT mean that it's their fault
Hahah what the hell boy, just watched your videos, are you a boy or girl? Don't you get bullied for being gay and fat?
@@TorturerOfInfidels aren't you ashamed of commenting something like this? on a video especially like THIS?! why does it matter so much to you how someone looks?
@@TorturerOfInfidels Ew bruh wtf
Wow I can tell this is a “joke” but still that dose not justify stupid insualts
@@standerdacount2945 ??? We're u trying to reply to a specific person or my original comment if so I def wasn't joking like it's a true statement that shouldn't have to be said
You have no idea how liberating those words were to me. “Sexual assault is NEVER the victim’s fault.” When I was 6, my cousin molested me during a family party. He led me away to a dark room, promising me candy after we play a game. He said we were going to be playing “doctor”. He undressed me and wiped his fingers down the sides of my crotch and sniffed them. Then, he led me to the shower room where he repeatedly told me to close my eyes. I didn’t know what was going on. But I was scared. Very, very scared. So I acted upon my instincts, and I opened my eyes and yelled for him to stop. If it wasn’t for a family member calling for us, I’m sure he would have orally raped me. He continued to haunt me throughout my years. When I was 14, he asked if I was wearing anything underneath my skirt during a memorial service for my grandpa. Unfortunately, he wasn’t my only predator. When I was 10, a guy at church began to stalk me. He would tell the other little kids that I would become his wife, and he would try to get me to sit on his lap and give him kisses. I can’t tell you how alarming it was to have him pop up from behind a tree or a door every time I was playing hide and seek or tag with the other children. I didn’t know where else to hide; kids weren’t allowed upstairs during prayer time with the adults, so I would crawl into a ball under a tablecloth. He would call my name, circling the short tablecloth. He knew I was there. And then, he would drag me out by my feet or wrap his hands around my breasts and drag my squirming and kicking form. Somehow, he even got a key to the bathroom door. He would unlock it when I was using the potty and corner me in the shower, unrelenting until I satisfied him with kisses. It wasn’t until I briefly mentioned to my grandma that this guy kept wanting me to hold his hand and give him kisses were they able to put an end to it. My mom even found that the wallpaper of that creep’s phone was a picture of me! To this day, I still have to remind myself that I am in a safe space. Because my confessions were initially denied and dismissed, it took years for me to finally tell someone again. This is only the second time I have ever spoke about my experience.
I'm so sorry. I hope you're doing okay. I know from experience it's infuriating to be told you're 'strong' just for making it through, but it's so good that you did. Good luck and I hope you can recover as much as possible from these awful experiences
I have no words, except this: I hate when people disparage the term "safe space". There's a REASON it exists. I'm glad you have those spaces to be in. I hope the church called the police but I suspect not. So disgusting. You did not deserve that. I'm so sorry.
It makes me so happy that your grandma helped you. Instead of justifying it/ saying you are being dramatic or want attention. I’m not a victim but I hate to hear about these things happening.
Holy crap. I am SO, SO, SO SORRY!!! This is so disheartening, please always know that none of this was your fault in any way.
That’s disgusting. People will go to terrible lengths to get what they want, especially if what they want is immoral.
My opinion.
Saying yes while drunk is not consent you can't think straight while drunk most of the time you can't remember while your drunk.
Not an opinion, more of a fact. Drunken consent is not real consent
In some countries, its illegal and counts as rape to have sex with someone while they are intoxicated
This is why people should avoid getting drunk. How far do you think being under the influence can go? Being under the influence is when something clouds your judgement.
Do you think someone could be under the influence of love? Does this mean that if at one point they were under the influence of love and have sex with someone, they should be able to say they revoked consent after they don’t love that person anymore because their judgement was clouded? Then should the other person who heard yes in the moment be thrown in jail? People’s love for their family has sometimes made them able to break free from alcoholism. So you could argue love is even stronger than alcohol.
Should 2 drunk people who have sex and revoke consent later both be thrown in prison and put on the registry?
Do you think people who assault someone while drunk should face 0 jail time? At some point we do have to take responsibility if we become willfully intoxicated.
If people couldn’t give consent while drunk, that means that a drunk person could tell a friend to take their wallet and buy a car for them, then sue their friend later for doing it because they were drunk at the time. It gets a little ridiculous as you can see.
@@MissingYouser the way I was thinking of this was. If ones drunk and says yes to sex. The non drunk person should imidently say no and leave. But if both have said yes drunk and drunk or drunk and non drunk. Then it's to bad you maybe not remember saying yes in your clouded judgements but you still said yes no one forced you to say it. Consent drunk is still consent but to someone thinking clearly straight should see it as a non consent if that makes sense.
It's still consent and nothing bad should come of the person who agreed to have sex but if your thinking straight you should see it as a stupid idea
@@randomaccount64 Completely agree. Someone who does that should definitely be shamed. I just think it’s unfortunate that some people think being drunk doesn’t have these harsh consequences and it is dangerous for them to believe that.
im sorry to any victim of this where the people went "Boys will be boys" to girls or "Your a guy, she was a woman, you should have enjoyed it!" to boys. in the video or not, no one should invalidate your pain and the things you went through because of another person.
😭 boys will be boys but boys don't sexual assault someone because that isn't what boys do
@@-rarefied-8280 yup that is what bullies do, both boys AND girls young and old
This is so true. These stereotypes need to end because it only hurts everyone as we let them continue to happen. There’s *no* justification for any bodily or mental harm done to a person.
Good points, but I feel I must point out that men can also be raped by men. Anyone can rape, and anyone can be raped.
I’m a lesbian that was raped by a woman. Thank you for this comment.
What I like about this video is that they also showed some men who were victims and not just girls.
Assault can happen to ANYONE of ANY GENDER, at ANY AGE
This might be a dumb question, but does it matter how old the assaulter is? Does it still count as assault if they’re only a teenager too?
@@loser1914 it counts unless they are a newborn
@@loser1914 if the assaulter is a teenager it's still an assault
@@loser1914 it doesn't matter if they're a teenager, assault is assault.
@@loser1914 yes
There’s a saying in my language which roughly translates to ‘pestering girls is asking for love’
And today a little boy was hitting a girl (and I mean violently hitting) and the teacher in some crude attempt to help told him the phrase above.
I panicked and told them absolutely not, bullying girls is like bullying anyone else, it is just bullying.
Part of me hopes that one day one of those girls might remember that when she’s in a hard place.
For the love of god stop teaching kids that it’s okay for boys to hurt girls (in any way) as a way of showing love.
THANK YOU. SOMEONE GET THIS OERSON A NOBEL PRISE DANG IT
in other languages there's an equivalent and although it's genderless, i've never heard it used to justify other situations than boys being awful to girls. the phrase can be translated as such : "tortures the one who likes". it's supposed to be about mere teasing, which is harmless, but kids often go way too far and yet, girls are told that it's because the boy likes them and tries to show "affection" that way.
Its actually disgusting how people think just because your young, means that people wont believe you, most of these victims are either children, teens, or people entering their adult stage. No one should ever experience sexual assault, “She/He were asking for it!! Look at what she/he is wearing.” okay and??? Every human being should have the right to wear whatever they want.
I believe that children should be heard but I also believe that what you wear does trigger somebody, the trigger could be extreme to the point that your wearing a shirt with some mid thigh shorts (those creeps are very dangerous) to being triggered by somebody wearing str*pp*r clothes (Almost everyone would get triggered by that s*x**lly or angerly) Now yes the kid did wear something that could've been a potential trigger, but the person who made the choice to r*pe the kid made the choice and needs to be punished. So, yes what happened was a small part of the choice, but you are not the one who made the decision to get hurt or traumatized therefore its the person who r*ped yous fault
@@kelilahfiles9143did u watch the video
@@kelilahfiles9143 Some people like modest clothing because they find it pure. It doesn't matter what your wearing, anything can provoke anyone.
@@kelilahfiles9143 I got pinched on the ass twice in middle school.
I was wearing black shorts that went halfway down my thigh, and an oversized sweater that covered my entire top half.
_I was 11._
Damn this comment section is full of rape-victim fetishists and false rape claim apologists :]
No one should have to prove that it was rape. If they were uncomfortable in the situation and they were forced to keep going, THAT is not consent
Edit: Okay, I see where my mistake was when I initially made this comment, as someone who is a part of the 97%, what I meant of this was when someone claims that they were raped, 90 to 98% of the time (according to several articles including the BBC 3 years ago) these allegations are true. If it weren't for that 2 to 10% who have other motives to make false allegations, then there wouldn't be a situation where you have to prove someone who is NOT part of criminal investigation that this is true
One year edit: Apparently no one here is seeing the fucking point. I want all REAL victims to be heard and seen. I've seen the Johny Depp trials, doing my research of how assault and abuse has been treated in history. I acknowledge that there are shitty bastards who want to seek attention and have very mallicious intentions, and I am NOT saying that we should believe every single woman. This was more of a wish, where in the ideal world all REAL victims would be heard and justice would be granted, but the sad reality was that it will never be the case. Real victims don't want to keep those memories alive, but they are still there. There are consequences from the actual rape or assault, both affecting the victim and the perpretrator. I made this comment in my sophomore year of high school, still recovering from my personal trauma, and still naive about how the world works. Now I'm almost a senior in high school, and over time, there is still a lot more to be done before victims of both sexual violence and false accusations can get the true justice that they deserve
Um, you need proof though. You have to prove an innocent person guilty. Assuming you are in USA. We have a "innocent until proven guilty."
But you need proof because a person may not always be telling the truth. Sometimes there are fake assault cases.
@@serpentinewolf7085 i do agree with that because you need a little proof but always believe the victim no mater if its a kid or adult of man or girl
@@purecuteness7729
I normally try my best to while also trying to help find evidence. But sadly there isn’t always.
@@purecuteness7729 there's a fine line between always believing the victim and never trusting the victim. if you believe the victim too much then they could totally be lying (if im not mistaken, that's the case with johnny depp), but if you don't believe the victim then i think we're all aware what that is
This is criminally underrated. Victim-blaming is horrible. It doesn't matter what they wear, if it was baggy hoodie or if it was skimpy clothes. Nobody deserves to have that done to them, age, clothes, nothing justifies it.
Exactly,but in my country they always blame the victim and said that they wear tight clothes or just clothes that makes guys feel turned on... But what actually the victim wear are normal clothes and baggy clothes,it's really hard growing up as a female here🤡
@@airenaainrin6026 some people will even say that about 5-year-old girls. I remember an article listing how, after a 5-year-old girl was SA’d, men kept asking “what was she wearing?” As if she wasn’t a child
@@airenaainrin6026 jeez, I’m so sorry. Instead of teaching people to “cover up” they should teach people to keep it in their pants.
@@loe4508 cover up their weiners
@@angsilaw what the actual fuck. its already horrible when its adults getting told that, but a fucking 5 year old? the audacity those men have holy shit
A child is a child, no matter what they're wearing.
It doesn’t matter if the person is naked, intoxicated, or already dating the person. No means no. I wish people would learn to keep their hands to themselves and not blame the people that were forced to go through an experience that no one should have.
I was dressed as Freddie Krueger. The scars, the hat, the claw, the sweater, my 7th grade Halloween. I’ve very much stopped caring about what I wear from then on and just learned to protect myself. If I can get assaulted dressed as the monster of nightmare on elm street, clearly modesty on my part was not the problem.
Damn guys. thank you so much for all the good vibes. I really appreciate it, y’all are making me cry ❤️❤️❤️
I am so sorry Kelly ❤️ Sending you good vibes ❤️
@@Kitty-mb4hy shit thank you man ❤️
That is actually horrible. I’m glad you’ve learned how to protect yourself and stay strong! Sending good vibes only!
So sorry to hear that.. and yes modesty is never the problem. Even if you fully covered there's no guarantee you're safe, there're so many evidence of that, I've seen it first hand and experienced it.
*Women and men can dress anything they want, the wicked one should be the one to blame and that is the perpetrator*
kelly istg u should of slashed that mf across the face they a bitch u are amazing and so brave. sending you good vibes from MA
I was 9. He was my tuition teacher. He touched me inappropriately. It went on for about a year since then. I didn't have the courage to speak up. I knew it was wrong but I couldn't say a word. I loved wearing skirts. But then, I stopped. 8 years later, the memories still traumatise me. Nobody around me knows and I think I might carry this secret to my grave.
Talk to your mom, talk to a therapist. Just know millions of people are there for you and you’re not alone.
It's okay to speak to someone it might help you do it , I've tried it
It have helped so much .
it really could benefit you to talk to someone. youve been through an awful thing and so many people care about you. its good to talk about things when youre ready.
i’m so sorry!!!
it must’ve took a lot of courage to comment that ❤️ i wish you the best
If you're not okay talking to someone at least you were able to comment it. I hope it helped even just a little bit. I'm so sorry.
I was 13 up until 16. It was my uncle. He then would invite his brothers/cousins to join in on the fun. It stopped when I moved out. I sleep in a crouching position. I check that my door is locked probably 15 times before I go to sleep. I get anxious when I can’t face the door when I sleep. I get very anxious when I hear male voices outside my room and would hold my breath until they leave. I avoid any type of physical contact, even the smallest ones. Like touching thighs in a car, or a hand on my waist. My friends would laugh at me for that, and call me conservative. I’m not conservative. I just feel disgusted by the sensation of touching.
I told only one person in my whole life (my aunt) after said uncle died. She told my grandmother. We never spoke about it again.
Weeks ago, while I was chatting with my grandmother, she praised my uncle for being so kind and generous. “You know when he was alive, he’d give us monthly allowance,” she said and gave me a pointed look. I stared at her. I dunno what she wanted me to say to that. It felt like a look a parent would give to a child that’s ungrateful. I’m no longer a child though, but at that moment I felt like one. I wish I’d never told someone. That way my festering wounds still won’t heal, but at least other ppl can’t see it.
Idk why I said it here. It feels better to say it to a bunch of strangers rather than my family.
Oh my god. That’s ABSOLUTELY horrible. I can’t believe people are so disgusting. I’m glad you’ve been such a strong person, your power is truly inspirational. You’re really amazing and I admire you.
You are such an amazing and strong person, those people don't deserve to be considered your family. I wish you a fulfilling life full of love from everyone you hold close❤
I'm so sorry to everyone in these comments who had to go through sexual trauma, I wish you all the best
Thank you :)
Thank you
Thank you
"just because you have been intoxicated doesn’t mean it's your fault"
I needed to hear that.
never never NEVER is it your fault. I love you so much, stay strong love❤️❤️❤️
In fact that’s legit text book rape. Alcohol slows down and makes you less alert. You can’t consent while drunk.
If you didn't want it it's rape. If it's rape it's not the victim fault.
Normal response: Oh my friend is drunk. I am worried about them. Can I make sure they get home safe? And I will call them the next day to make sure they are alright.
Not....oh wow this is my opportunity to overpower this human and do whatever I have the urge to do. Finally! And it was not my fault they get hurt. It is theirs!
Intoxication makes you unable to give consent.
So, I’m 13 and last year my best friend at the time told me that she was raped by her older brother before several times when she about 6 or 7 but he didn’t go to jail because “he wasn’t old enough to know”
He was 16. she was 6. it’s absolutely disgusting that something like that could ever happen and then for it be “justified” by what the victim was wearing. I hope that everyone here never has to go through something like this and to those who have, I am so sorry, nobody deserves to go through that ❤️
Brother?
Holy fuc
WHAT?!?! IM SO SORRY THAT THEY HAD TO GO THOUGH THAT OMG THIER *BROTHER!?!?* OH MY GOD I HOPE THEY ARE OK NOW
@@justspirin IK, it’s so awful, luckily she is a lot better now though
Thats so weird, that happened to me too when i was around 5 and they were around 11.. aghhh ill never tell, i wont ruin their life because our relationship is good now, even though i endured the traumatising dreams and panic attacks ive had because of it all these years.. i could never do that to my brother..
@@whyarewestillhere4781 girl wtf-
“Protect your daughters!”
“Teach your daughters to dress modestly!”
“You aren’t going out in that are you? You might get unwanted attention, you know.”
“Protect your daughters from anything and everything!!”
We wouldn’t have to protect them if you would educate your child*, Mandy.
And it goes the same for boys and men who have been assaulted or r@ped.
(Child*= originally I had son, which didn’t work because women can be the cause of the assault and r@pe as well, thank you to the first reply for catching that for me.)
No offense, especially since you included men can be victims too, but you should write “we wouldn’t have to protect them if you would educate your child, Mandy” instead of “we wouldn’t have to protect them if you would educate your son, Mandy.” It just pushes the agenda that it’s always guys who do the rape/sexually assault when woman can do it as well. Once again you added men can be victims too which is amazing, but still.
@@ThatOneWattpadWriter ok!! I’ll fix it now. Thanks for catching that. I don’t think I noticed that when writing. Thank you!!
@@ThatOneWattpadWriter I fixed it!! Thanks again. Does this work? Also I added context for the *
@@SodapopTheOtter no problem! Thank you for being so docile and open-minded!
@@ThatOneWattpadWriter no problem. Truly, I’m the least confrontational person ever so constructive criticism to me is really valuable. And I honestly enjoy being corrected/called out for little mistakes like this because then nothing bad happens from that little mistake because I can fix it. Thank you
its like blaming someone for being killed because they were out past 9pm
if anyone asked me, i couldn’t tell you. it happened so many times in just regular clothes that i didn’t fit into anymore so i threw them away (grew out of them over time)… the thing that stuck with me though, he’s favorite color is green. green would be such a pretty color if it wasn’t his favorite…
I'm so sorry...I hope that never happens to you again... I'm sorry that happened to you... recover well...
@@imtoxicfox4650 thank you
😭
Is favourite colour was green... he drove a green old merc... his daughter was my age... f$#@ how these things stick hey. Sorry, read your comment and it just hit me.. I was 11... Ive never liked green.
You're amazing alright, you're so brave I just wanna hug you 🤍
I swear you're really strong that you're still living and facing this world.
Chin up queen 🤍🤍🤍🤍
I always wore nightgowns to bed. I owned so many I can't remember what ones I wore each time, but I remember a few times I was wearing my favorite one. The one with a kitty on the front, whose collar had a little bow on it. I would play with the bow to try to fall asleep afterward. I never wore a nightgown again and didn't wear dresses or skirts until I was 14 because I was too scared. I was 6 when it happened.
i am so sorry for what happened to you. i hope you never have to go through anything like that again
I’m so sorry
I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. Hopefully you’re better now and that person is out of life
I’m so sorry, you are so strong and you will make it through
I like nightgowns as well. I like when they are sort of flowy it makes me feel like a princess. I'm sorry about the incident. I hope you can wear pretty nightgowns again.
It was never the rape victims fault, it's always the rapist's fault. No matter what situation, assault IS an assault. We don't only have to protect, but also to educate.
Thank you to all of the survivors from around the world who have shared their stories in this comment thread. You are heard and believed. We appreciate all of you who have left supportive messages for victims/survivors as well. If anyone needs help, please check the video description above to find links to resources and support.
This is a great song by a survivor I know ruclips.net/video/KWPTZwQBfDE/видео.html
❤
The most hurtful thing I got from a friend was. "Have you considered wearing baggier clothes? So it does not accentuate your body" I am a guy and NO. What I always wear is T shirts and shorts.
Nasty people are nasty because they are. It's not about the clothes. Male or female. Keep that in mind. Educate every one.
Now that my friend is called a creep. The best thing you can do is use rat repellent to keep them away. But to be serious, if any guy or girl says that to you, unfriend them immediately because that is a red flag as big as the universe.
This. Whatever your gender, no-one should have to fear wearing what they most enjoy. The other person always has control over their actions, you don't accidentally assault someone, especially not because of clothes. Plus guys should be allowed to wear nice things, not wearing hoodie and tracksuit 24/7 isn't an invitation wtf
I agree, people should be allowed to wear what they want without being judged and being considered sexual
To say that it shouldn't matter what they wore is true. To say that the clothing doesn't INCREASE the risk of being taken advantage of sexually is a lie. Don't be foolish. Clothing can exaggerate your body characteristics.
In the end it's your choice. Do you want to increase your chance of something happening to you or not? In theocratic islamic countries there's no problems with this due to partial or full veiling. This is done with a purpose. Here women get the freedom to wear everything they want but don't understand that in our shared reality, freedom comes with risks.
I would risk being assaulted too if it means changing my way of dressing. I can go wherever I want and if it means unexpected intercourse then so be it
I'm really sorry for everyone who has been assaulted.. i hope everyone is better now and getting more love and care.
This ^^^^
Yeah. It does get better. It doesn’t go away though. Ive been dealing with it for 3 years and I’m still not over it. But it does get better. Just surround yourself with good individuals
@@offical_lord_farquaad3770 I'm so so sorry that happened.. I'm glad it got better for you.
I’m afraid to be around with females with what happened to me. I just feel uncomfortable with grown women :(
@@Myday_145 hey me too. I was assaulted by a woman and all my life women have been terrible to me. But don’t worry. Don’t force yourself to be around women. Your feelings are just as valid as anyone else’s
no matter child pyjamas, or a sexy Halloween costume, no one should ever be assaulted. No.matter.what
flirting or "signals" do not equal consent
I'm glad a project like this isn't just supporting the girls who got assaulted but the guys too. The police don't even give these boys a chance because "women can't rape men" and "you probably liked it". It's disgusting how much that issue is ignored and forgotten
I’m afraid to be around with females with what happened to me. I just feel uncomfortable with grown women :(
@@Myday_145 Sorry to hear that.
@@Myday_145 Oh, I'm so sorry. It shouldn't have happened to you.
@@Myday_145
I’m so sorry that happened to you, you didn’t deserve that.
@@Myday_145 Most people who rape men are other men lmao
I like how this has male victims and female perpetrators. Many people don’t realize that men can be raped or sexually assaulted or that women can be perpetrators
I didn't notice the guys saying it was a female. How do you know it was?
@@sickofcrap8992 They didn't. It was a female babysitter assaulting a little girl.
FACTS!!!
girl stop we know women can do that as just any other gender can, it's just not that common and culturally "accepted"
@@sapphire7888 a lot of people don’t realize or deny it
It should just be flat out be forbidden by statute for a defense attorney to to ever ask a victim in court "What we you wearing?"
Me and my friends had a conversation about sexual assault and how it has nothing to do with clothing but my cousin who is a guy said "women still need to think about the signals they give and the outfit they wear tho. Rapist are rapist and they take what they please" and I had no vocabulary to describe what joke of an excuse it was. He claims like it's the perpetrator's natural instinct and victims should be the ones to adjust which is ridiculous
As a girl, i agree that it is never a woman’s fault that an uneducated hungry man decides to assault her. But till were at that age where we can protect ourselves, we should be more careful of what we wear. Maybe a day will come when this doesnt have to be made a big deal but for now its better safe than sorry..and maybe you can start by trying to educate your cousin C:
You could tell him that rape isn't about sexual attraction its about control men probably see women everyday that they are attracted to but won't rape them because they know its wrong but for the ones that do its about control and wanting to humiliate the victim and clothes isn't going to protect you from that
@@skyandthemoonsome men don’t control their lust…some men are freaks and lust after children or women or females of any age it’s disgusting but attractive has a role in it too..
"I've never signaled anyone to violate me. If you think anything I'm wearing gives some dude the right to violently shove his penis in my vagina, YOU are as bad as him." And then walk away. Shock them with a graphic description of what they're actually saying. Um, I don't mince words.
i was 12, and he was my dad. he would touch me in places that he shouldn’t, make comments about my body that he shouldn’t, and never listened when i said no. i’m 13 now and i’ve still never told anybody. i don’t see him anymore, (other reasons) but i’m writing this comment to show myself that it’s not hard to speak out and i hope i try soon. i have flashbacks and nightmares that trigger panic attacks but i’m used to them now. i pray that as long as we speak out about these things and bring light to these issues they will cease soon but i know that’s unlikely. the best we can do is hope and work. we are not the problem. we are the product.
I hope you get the courage to talk about it in real life, It’s hard to talk about traumas irl but it’s good that your trying! 💗
i’m so sorry. i hope those memories soon come out of your head and you feel better.
I’m so sorry about this. No one should ever have to go through something like that. I really hope and pray that you will be able to find the courage to tell someone or find help. This was a great step to work on your courage! Best of luck, and hopes and prayers go with you! 💜
Wishing you the best. You are not alone. ❤
I send you love and mental support from Germany❤️
“Just because someone is your partner, doesn’t mean they have access to your body” This. Relationship or not you don’t owe anyone anything
Then don't get into a relationship
@@spiritualjosue1505if you think that being in a relationship means letting your partner touch you whenever he or she pleases, then I’m sorry for you.
JESUS loves you! Come to Him to experience indescribable peace, and the infinite love He has for you! He can heal all illnesses and disorders, and with Him you can overcome any and every crisis the world may put in your way. Repent of your sins and start a relationship with Him today. Call out His name and He will answer you!
@@ariannamartello5198 no point in being a relationship then if you're not able to do basic relationship activities. Stay single then if youre going to act like that then
@@spiritualjosue1505you can still do relationship activities. It’s not that hard to ask for consent from your partner.
You could be parading around naked, it doesnt matter, no one has the right to touch you when you dont want them to. End of story.
My heart goes out to all the victims who bravely told their stories for this project, and for all those out there who also know that pain... ❤
That's a bit hyperbolic, if you do something like that, well you deserve some Darwinism lol
@@maylabrown4584what the hell
@@niconicot1nelol
@@maylabrown4584 did u just say some ppl deserve to be raped😭
@@maylabrown4584 L take
A hard pill to swallow is if your partner assaults you, it's not "love", it's a power thing. Most people who force themselves onto others aren't really attracted to you or like you, they just want power over you.
I was a chubby 12 year old wearing overalls and a long sleeve shirt when a grown man harrassed me and tried to assault me. It's not the clothes, it's the assualter. No one asks for it.
yeah now thats just a creep.
some assaulters like modesty, they associate it with purity
some assaulters specifically go for people who don't fit the societal beauty standards, for a variety of reasons ("shes ugly, who would believe that someone would assault her" "she has low self esteem, she's easier to manipulate", etc.)
some literally do not care. they get a person in a room alone and the rest doesn't matter
most assault people they already know, so even avoiding being alone without a friend/family member doesn't help. that friend or family member could just be waiting for the right moment
there's not much anyone can do for prevention, besides being a hermit or maybe visibly carrying weapons. maybe get a scary dog.
I think the majority of people is still trustable, hopefully...
Victim blaming is disgusting and I'm ashamed that people still do it.
How could you even try to blame assault on the clothing of a CHILD.
Instead of blaming, people should support. Instead of 'protecting' the girls, educate the boys. Instead of teaching girls self defense, teach boys what's right and what's wrong. Let's raise a better generation of both boys and girls. Let's end 'Boys will be Boys'.
Edit: Thank you all for the likes, I can't believe the reply section has become a place of people with different opinions learn from each other. I did made a mistake in this comment, I only thought from a females side, your replies taught me a lot and I know I am wrong here but not completely, thank you very much all.
That's literally what this video is doing. And I've NEVER in my life even heard of anyone saying 'boys will be boys' when it comes to not obtaining consent.
@@Bughugger but people do say 'boys will be boys' when a girl gets harrassed by a guy. They say it while covering their daughters in clothes so that there will be no one to look at them with lust dripping from his eyes.
@@natashasarwar5105 I've literally never seen or heard anything like that in the context you're speaking. I have lived all over the United States my entire life, and have only heard 'boys will be boys' when referring to boys roughhousing, or being messy, or cussing. I'm just curious, but where are you from that people have actually said that, and was it anytime recently? That sounds like something that I could see the baby boomer generation feeding into, sortof like how i grew up hearing that children were meant to be seen and not heard, how kids were readily spanked for existing, racism was rampant, and they couldn't give a crap about the environment or animal rights. But the internet and technology has bound us all together and opened the door for a new collective way of life. The Gen Z kids have done some brilliant turning around of many of those ignorant historical things with the whole "ok boomer" movement. Lol.i highly doubt that anyone in America would dare say something like 'boys will be boys' when referring to sexual assault nowadays.
@@Bughugger i have heard that phrase millions of times! you are incredibly privileged to have not heard it but i still at a constant rate have to deal with it being shoved in my face when some boy harasses me.
@@Bughugger just because you've never heard it irl doesn't mean people don't say that lol. also, the united states isn't the only country in existence. it's also a first world country so the US is WAYYYY less misogynistic compared to third world countries. people all over the world say shit like "boys will be boys" and that it's the victim's fault for wearing anything slightly revealing. it's sad.
i was at a wedding when it happened. My whole family was celebrating my cousin Ryan getting married to his husband. While my parents were in conversation, a older man i knew came up to me. He was my uncle. he picked me up, telling me he had a puppy outside. I believed him. I went outside with him, there was no puppy. He carried me into a dark place. He started Stripping my dress. He touched my thighs and chest. He tried to force me to touch his...ya know. I was so overwhelmed i started crying. My family noticed i was missing, when they heard my cries, they followed them. My uncle was caught and my father tackled him and held him down, calling the police. My grandma was sobbing, she never wanted this to happen to me. She picked me up, hugging me telling me it was okay. My mom was having a panic attack, begging to see me and my grandma handed me to her. My mom immediately took me home after that. She tried her best to make me feel not as disgusting. I told her i felt gross. My uncle was arrested.
i was 3 years old.
gay marraige was legalized in 2015, if you were 3 around then you'd be 11 now???
I'm sorry but, u were 3? Wtf is wrong with plp. That is fucking disgusting. You shouldn't have gone through that. I really hope that you're better now.
@@breadbin4833 I mean, depending on where you live, gay marriage was made legal in 2015. But at the same time, in Canada, gay marriage was made legal in 2005.
@@breadbin4833America defaultism babyy
3. 3 years old.
I was 8. I was wearing leopard print pants and a flip sequin shirt. He was my camp counselor. I trusted him. I trusted him and I never should’ve. I wish I never had. I regret it every day and I feel like it’s my fault
You were 8 years old? That camp counselor assaulted a _child?_ That isn’t a person, he’s a beast walking around in human skin. There’s never an age at which assaulting someone becomes acceptable. But you were a kid-less than 10. There’s no way you could have known what that evil thing was planning. And a child can’t give consent. Camp counselors are _supposed_ to be trustworthy. You weren’t in the wrong; that despicable thing was.
It’s not your fault ❤
THAT SON OF A
*RUclips does not consume this language. Try again.*
No it isn't. Your future is filled with happiness my dear. May god bless you ❤
I had a discussion with my friend recently (who identifies as feminist). They insisted that while it doesn't guarantee it happens to you, SA and harassment is more likely to happen to conventionally attractive, feminine presenting women. I was baffled because (and I know anecdotal evidence doesn't mean much on a bigger scale) the only few times I've been harassed on the street is when I was not wearing any makeup, had dirty hair, huge eyebags and was dressed in the plainest clothes possible, like sweatpants and a jumper. We live in a world where for some reason we consider harassment and SA as something related to romantic advances, even in feminist spaces. It is not. It's a way to degrade and make people feel less about themselves, nothing more. In fact, when I was dressed stereotypically "provocative", I managed to scare off creeps going after my friends 2 times, because apparently a confident woman is suddenly too much for these idiots to handle.
This is so haunting. My mother once told me that every woman her age that she knows has been date r*ped at one point and it wasn’t until years later when that actually became a recognized term that they actually realized the severity of what had happened to them because at the time it was just basically a societal norm that if you go on a date with a guy, you agree to whatever happens and just have to basically let it happen, which is so sad and heartbreaking.
I’m afraid to be around with females with what happened to me. I just feel uncomfortable with grown women :(
@@Myday_145 holy shit your pfp made me realize the sheer size of Shapiro's forehead.
Just came to say this, totally off-topic.
My mom has told me she was raped many times as a child and was very traumatized by it and yet she protected my rapist because he's family.
@@earthwormwood man, thats a shit😾
@@Myday_145 lol i doubt that even happened since judging you by your videos, you just h@te women and make fake stories to justifiy your misogyny
A lot of times I’ve noticed that rape victims, as one myself, are wearing probably the most covering clothing they could wear, because these predators target them when they’re not suspecting it. Usually when they’re wearing comfy clothes or something like that because they can be easily removed and also the person is in a comfortable state, they’re vulnerable. A lot of rapes are committed by people that we know, that we didn’t think we had to defend against. This idea that we’re walking down the street and being pulled into an alley after a night out and raped, that’s a toxic one. It definitely happens, absolutely it does, but that’s not the majority.
Looking at this gallery, a lot of them are children. Wearing typical children’s clothes. Absolutely disgusting that anyone would even think it’s the victims fault.
The majority of rapes are not people you know. Do some research before commenting on the internet
@@Myday_145 Most rapes are by people they know (at least in the USA). That doesn't mean they necessarily know them very well.
@@Myday_145 says the man commenting on the internet
@@Myday_145 facts don't care about your feelings
I tried to tell a female friend of mine what had happened to me and she questioned if I was "really bisexual if I didn't enjoy it." I still haven't told the whole story to anyone because part of me thinks it wasn't that bad, but I'm still afraid of getting intimate with men to this day. It feels like a hole in my being that I can't close no matter how much I cover it up or how much I try to shrink it. I think it might have been the worst day of my life.
That's fucking horrible of your friend. Have you considered looking into therapy too? I hope things get better for you
my stomach dropped when i read your friends reaction, you deserve so much better. i wish tou the best and that one day you can overcome the effects of your past. you deserve to be able to fully be who you are
That's so horrible. That friend is not friend at all. It was a time and her responsibility as a friend and well wishes to understand and fully lishen to u. Give u a hand at your difficulty. Don't worry dear u will Definetly find much much more good ppl and partner. If required i suggest u to visit therapy offline or online.❤ Hope your life is filled with happiness. May god bless you
3 questions you should ask a rape victim:
When did it happened?
Where did it happened?
Who is the rapist?
These 3 questions play a big role in catching the rapist.
But won't be enough to convict him.
@@tajniak4335
Once we know the place and time of the crime , it's way easier to find evidence that can convict the rapist.
@@yoyoip2946 That's true
"Don't call a girl a slut for the same reason you call a guy a legend."
That's good.
To any survivor out there, it's NOT your fault. The first thing you should do is believe that it isn't your fault, and then tell someone whom you trust
I wish it was comforting to hear but it means nothing especially after being assulted more than once. I know it's not my fault but that's an obvious realization and it makes nothing better in the slightest. And how can I know if something is or isn't my fault if I was asleep when it happened? What if I did give consent and can't remember and now I have false truama. Who's fault is that?
@@themorbidstoner1911 love, if u were asleep it’s not possible to give consent and even if u did while you were conscious they did it while u were unconscious which IS rape. I’m so sorry that happened to you I wish I could comfort you I understand I don’t know u but I am you, and no matter what happens you stay strong okay u fight and you fight hard No mercy for what they did to you they deserve it
@@matbmp8996 please explain!?
@@matbmp8996 You’re wrong, absolutely wrong.
@@matbmp8996 um explain pls???
I was 9. I was in a 1 piece swim suit at a blow up water slide at a family reunion. Go ahead, tell me I was asking for it when a 28 year old man took advantage of a child. Tell the child who couldn’t speak on the ride home. Tell me.
The law literally says the age of consent is 14-18 depending on the country, yet whenever someone is raped, it's the victim "asking for it". Even if based on the literal law, they are unable to do so, because they are too young. It's nonsensical. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
If you're reading this: I see you, you are good, you are valued. You didn't deserve it, and you didn't do anything wrong.
I hate when someone says "well you don't have any proof" excuse me? They should not have to prove anything!!
proof is important to an extent as people do accuse innocent people of such acts purely to ruin their lives, it happens sadly.
@@softnpure Those are very rare, tho. Majority of victims stay silent because they don't have evidence and "nobody's going to believe them".
People who falsely accuse are disgusting. Not only they are ruining the lives of those falsely accused but also of real victims.
@Kang Seulgi's simp both you and taylor said it well :c
@@softnpure it should be guilty until proven wrong. yes, some cases are false, but the majority of them are true. victims of assault should not feel like nobody will believe them.
@@nessie968 then we should just let people wrongly go into jail only to find out they're innocent midway or after their sentence? their lives would've been ruined by then because of that, it would be hard for them to get a job, and people would always look down on ex prisoners. i agree that the victims deserve justice and actual predators definitely deserve jail but i don't think guilty until proven innocent is the best way to go about it either
What will they say when it's a 3 year old? How would a 3 year old "provoke" this behaviour? How would a 3 year old "ask for it"? Disgusting.
I saw a video of a man blaming a 3 year old girl he abused for acting "sexy." Please. A 3 year old doesn't even know what sexy is (unless a pervert got ahold of them). 😞
@@Catlily5 it's disheartening.. I know someone who was sexually abused and groomed at age 3 by their grandfather. They told me some.. fucked up stories about what that monster did to them. Crazy how they would do anything for a bit of symapthy for raping a child.
I know right. How does a 5 year old wearing SpongeBob dress, ponytails, Equestria girls hair ties, my little pony shoes want it? Like bruh. And they would be like "she was dressed like she wants it" SHE WAS WEARING WHAT *LITTLE GIRLS* WEAR!! ugh
@@Catlily5 that is disgusting. I pray that little baby won't remember any of that horrible trauma.
@@queenmary2452 truly hope people who excuse such things go to hell. They deserve the worst.
i was 16, he was 15. he was my friend. he asked if he could lay his head on my lap, i said sure. head on lap, nothing wrong with that at all. and then there was so much slow touching. he grabbed and squeezed my rear over and over again, slid his hands under my waistband. toyed with it. it all happened so slowly i didn’t even want to believe it was happening. i felt frozen, i didn’t even feel like i was in my own body. our friend who was trying to sleep on the other couch told us to be quiet (he was talking to himself, diagnosed schizophrenia, unmedicated), so he grabbed me and said “let’s go to another room”. i finally choked out “i need to go to the bathroom”, ran away, locked myself in a bathroom, and had a panic attack.
when i told our friend (my best friend all throughout high school) who was on the other couch the next day, she told me the pants i was wearing did make my rear look good and then proceeded to date him for years and defend his actions, saying “he’s mentally ill, he can’t help it”. he abused her in every way imaginable. physically, sexually, verbally, mentally, emotionally. they thankfully broke up a year ago.
when i told my dad (a police officer) a few months after it happened, he was shocked and angry until i told him HOW he touched me. he sighed in relief and said “well, sexual assault means penetration occurred, and that didn’t happen so it’s fine”. i wanted to rip my skin off. i felt so disgusting. i felt like an idiot for making such a big deal out of things.
when i was 18 i tried to put on the pants i was wearing when it happened. they were black skinny pj pants with white music notes and clefs all over them. my mom got them for me for my 15th birthday because i’d played violin since i was 8. once i put them on, i started hyperventilating and had to rip them off and throw them away. i know it sounds so stupid but i loved those pants so much. i still miss them so much.
i’m 20 now. i still feel so much guilt and shame. barely anything even happened and it still affects me so much. thanks to anyone who read this, it feels so weird to type everything out after not talking about it for so long. i still feel stupid for making a big deal out of basically nothing. i wish i could just forget it ever happened.
I hope you are okay!
I'm not surprised it affects you so much, even though "barely anything even happened" as you wrote. A friend betrayed you, betrayed the trust we all have, that we are save with our friends, that friends don't hurt one another. I think sometimes we focus to much on how intense the sexual acts of assault were to judge how "bad" something was and ignore the just as important betrayal of trust, that can hurt us just as much.
I hope you can stop feeling bad about how you feel about your reaction. It is absolutely valid and I hope you will be okay.
It's insane that things like that are even taken into consideration. It's illegal to assault people. It doesn't matter if they're as naked as the day they were born. You still can't assault them.
exactly!! and it's insane that their crimes aren't even punished that badly for all the trauma they've caused
My biology teacher one day said "if a boy raped a girl and if he's asked the reason he will say 'it's bc of her clothing' so dont wear revealing clothes or leggings bc if something happens to you it's your fault as well"
I was 11,at that time I was taught that everything the teachers and parents do is 'right' so ofc I believed her.4 years later I understand how wrong she was.Sending love to everyone who had to go through the trauma💜
It's repulsive how a teacher could say such a thing. She should get her license revoked ASAP. Im so sorry that happened to you💝
I’m not sure what you teacher meant, but they may have meant “don’t wear revealing clothing or a rapist could use it as an excuse, if you wear unrevealing clothing, then they have no excuse” or they could just be a scumbag.
@@HobieInTheBox cope
I don’t think it would be the victims fault, but wouldn’t the victim be increasing their chances of abuse?
If I carried gold and wore a suit in a dangerous neighborhood at 3 am, wouldn’t I be a fool for increasing the chances of me getting robbed? Technically it is no ones business what I do, but wouldn’t I kind of be asking for it by carrying gold around that time when I literally have a choice to not do that?
Telling girls that they should be able to wear whatever they want is exactly what a predator would do. Of course a lion would tell a deer that sleeping near tall grass is fine. So why do some people knowingly listen to what the predators want them to do?
@@MissingYouser Wrong. I was raped and stalked 3 times and I never wore revealing clothes . I was a Christian at 17 and dressed one. Meaning jeans or sweats and lose fitted T shirt two sizes to big. I was targeted because I have a limp. I have Cerebral Palsy. But if you look it up. Your a target if you have long hair. OR ANY type of dress....because dresses and skirts were easy to bypass. Also, if your alone and have a routine they will follow you. Are you blaming someone for just having long hair too?
worst thing is my own family took it lightly and told me it happened because i was wearing new clothes, after that i stopped buying new clothes i borrowed my sister's old clothes for four years until i went to a university.
Same here, my parents barely took me seriously, the assault happened over a span of 3 years, 1st to 4th grade, when I finally told my parents I stopped seeing her for a year before they made me again, saying she changed, she’s 5 years older than me and she’s also assaulted my older brother once
That's wrong both morally AND physically. Parents shouldn't blame you for what a grown person did to you.
@@hibari4079it was very traumatic it made me completely shut off emotionally from my family i still can't share my personal problems or real thoughts with anyone in my family, it's very suffocating but that's how it is...but I'm glad i have great friends i can share things with them
@@beautiful_sky111 I am happy you have support
@@mylittlepolny you didn’t (and still don’t) deserve that. You and your brother should’ve never gone through that. I hope you both have the help you need now.
im so scared to get sa’d because i know my parents wouldn’t care, my mom regularly touches areas and gives comments like ‘ you’d be perfect for a man ‘, and doesn’t care when i tell her i’m uncomfortable with it.
That's terrible, u should call cps or something, im sry this happens to u by ur own mom
Do you have a teacher or a friends parent that you can talk to? This isn't okay, and needs to be addressed.
It happened with my cousin. I was assulted. In real life and over text (sexual talk)
My mom yelled at me for "flirting" and "encouraging" him. I was heartbroken. I avoid him at family meetings
Im so sorry that happened to you, I hope your doing better now 💗
@@idiashrouds1fan Thank you, you're so sweet
fuck them both. if your family doesnt do anything about it, take it to the court as you do have evidence. go seek professional help too. i hope you recover
You are not alone.
When I told the police I had been assaulted, they asked what I was wearing. I was wearing; a long sleeved shirt, with all the buttons closed, shirt tucked in. A tie, long sleeved jumper and a long sleeved blazer. Long trousers. Long socks underneath. Only my face, neck and hands were exposed. It was a standard British secondary school uniform. I was 14, in year 10. It happened in school. They commented on the makeup I was wearing, which was just foundation and setting spray. Since my abusers were minors they said “they couldn’t know any better” “they’re too young”. They said the makeup I was wearing were “encouraging” them and “giving mixed signs”. They couldn’t prove it wasn’t consensual. Despite me screaming, yelling and telling them to stop. I was covered in bruises, but nothing happened to my abusers.
@@MinisDunyasi5
i am so sorry; thats terrible. you really didnt deserve that :( ❤️
These are the words i despise, It's upsetting how some people try to justify RAPE by saying: "Boys will be boys" or "You're a guy, she was a woman, you should've enjoyed it!" "Look at what you're wearing, of course you would get raped while wearing THAT."
The victim's gender doesn't matter, a
victim is a victim.
It doesn't matter if they were wearing crop tops, it doesn't matter if they were wearing briefs or thongs, it doesn't matter what sneakers they wear, it doesn't matter what the victim wears at all.
Clothes don't equal consent.
A victim is a still victim.
Even if they're a girl you have no right to touch them.
If they're a boy, you still have no right to touch them.
Rape shouldn't be justified, by gender or clothes. Stop victim blaming.
#STOPVICTIMBLAMING
#STOPBEINGSEXISTPEOPLE
Exactly, the way I've seen people respond to these things (Especially when the victim is male) is disgusting. Whenever it's a male victim, people think he should be happy it was done to him just because he's "getting some".
#STOPVICTIMBLAMING
I’ve heard people say, “you just shouldn’t have worn that” only to victim blame.
I wish I had been taught this all as a child. I knew someone who was sexually harrased and I blamed her. Very insensitive and inappropriate 😶😔
@@SteppingStonevlogs Children don't know any better. When I was a child, me and my friends called eachother "Wichser" (german for "masturbator") constantly until an adult lectured us what it means
Look, I strongly believe that what you wear does have an impact of choices you make (cause and effect) , but I also believe that you should blame the one for making the choice of abusing somebody. What you wear does impact the choice, but the person who listened to their triggers should still get punished.
@@kelilahfiles9143so a five year old wearing a dress chooses to be assaulted?
@@hihowareyatoday573 and they cant answer. CLOTHES ARE NOT FUCKING CONSENT. If someone can say no DURING sex, this means that clothes are not inviting.
"just fight back" i was eight, he was a 6 foot male who pinned me down, 7 years later my mom is still married to him. she dosent believe me. i was kicked out for being rude to him by not talking to him and being scared
While I'm not trying to be reactionary to or devalue/dismiss the women's stories, it is really nice to see men included in this as well. They sadly get overlooked so often. SA can happen to anyone.
He was 36. I was 5. I was a daughter and he was my father. It ended when I was 10. He said he would always protect me and hurt anyone who would try to hurt me, who knew he would be the one to hurt me.
He said he would protect me, that was a lie. I can never look at the color blue the same way knowing it was his favorite color.
im so sorry you had to go through that, and i hope that you're doing better now :). i also went through something similar, and i still have a pretty hard time comprehending that it actually happened and i didn't just 'make it up' as a kid. it started when i was 5, and he was about 14 or 15 , i don't really remember, and ended around the time when i was 7. he was my older brother, i looked up to him and wanted to be just like him when i get older. i trusted him. it still makes me sick to the stomach when i think about the things he made me do. im going to get therapy soon, so hopefully i'll get better someday, and i hope the same for you, and anyone going through something like this
Did he go to jail?
im really sorry you endured 5 years of sexual abuse. i never experienced this, but to be lied to and to be used is just the worst and it pains me to even try and imagine it. being uncomfy by a color because that was the favorite one of the rapist and that color is everywhere… i really wish that you’re recovering, best of luck to feeling better. its my favorite color as well, and im disgusted that it’s the same as a FATHER, who is supposed to be protecting and loving, and yet he is also the one that has raped you.
I hope he goes to jail
it sucks how many survivors, including me, are trained to dismiss our stories and say “I should’ve known” because of all the times we’ve heard others tell us that it was our fault, that there were so many signs we should’ve noticed, that we were the ones with boundary issues, that we were immature and naive. how awful is it that we victim blame and shame to this day.
I still say this every time I talk about my experience. my therapist had to remind me that, "you do realize that this isn't your fault, right?" it's so wild. I can understand that it isn't other victims fault, but when it comes to me it's like, "well, I put myself in that bad situation. I should have known better."
Ikr! They say "not all men" and then "what did you expect coming to his home" and don't even see the controversy in these words.
Wow, I have a question of someone touches you inappropriately and runs down there does that mean it's rape? Or is it being molested or groped? Or groomed? Or is it sexual harrassment? Does rape mean that the man puts his penis in your vagina? Sorry I need some clarifacition. Thank you.
If* my bad
Touches *
I wasn't raped, or sexually assaulted, it was sexual harassment, but it still hurt as hell. My brother. It happened over and over for 3 years. It started with a dare to send pictures. No clue who asked first, but it ended with him sending me a picture of his private area. He just turned 12. And I was 9. My dad told my mom, who overreacted (as she had gone through sexual misconduct in her childhood) and called CPS. Then started the abuse. The hitting. The threats. We were kids, we didn't know any better. He never meant harm, he was just confused. He would text me asking for nudes. But then came a night where we were home alone. We were playing roblox. I was 10, he was 14. I wanted an adopt me pet. He said only if I took my clothes off. I laughed uncomfortably. "Haha, no." He begged me. I was wearing a T shirt and the ugliest purple pants. I felt threatened. I finally gave in. I had heard what rape was by then, and I didn't want him to do that. That was the worst day of my life. I told friends, because I thought maybe that would help get it off my mind. It didn't. I was scared to uncover any part of my body, even alone, and I still am to this day. I have moments where I feel like someone is touching me. Squeezing and lifting their grip off and on. I try to cover myself. It's painful. It hurts. My friend said to me on discord when I was 11 (apparently joking) "If you don't tell your parents I will walk my ass over to your mother's and tell her". That convinced me to tell my parents. One-two years later and that was the worst decision of my life. Mom said she will never let me see him again. But he was my brother. I miss him, and I wish he knew that. I really wish he did.
I hope that you are feeling better now 😢
@@Adeleium I’ll try ❤️ I’m still young, and I’ve started to get over it. I’m planning on seeing him when I’m an adult and mom can’t interfere with us anymore. If only I knew how to delete text messages none of this would have happened. It’s sad, but I guess I would have gone through some sort of sexual misconduct anyway. Every woman does.
@@viviclem A little bit. It’s hard to deal with. I don’t really understand how “severe” it is either. I feel like everyone is making it such a big deal when I thought it was minor. I guess I won’t know for a while.
fuck your brother. family keeps you safe and protects you. your mom is right for getting you away from him. 14 year olds are smarter than that. it may be hard but never try to get in contact with him, please. he may think that he was doing the right thing and might hurt you again. stay safe 💗
@@East_Dakota Not attacking you here, just posting out of concern:
It does indeed sound like you don't get how serious this is and I would suggest you seek therapy in the future. PLEASE DO NOT MEET UP WITH HIM OR CONTACT HIM IN ANY WAY. Your mom and your friend did the right thing. You're surrounded by wonderful people(except your brother.) 😊
He is not dumb, at 14 you know asking your 10 year old sister to get naked is wrong. *He was 100% aware of how horrible you felt and chose to ignore your feelings anyway.* That is not a safe person, period.
Even if the victim was naked it doesn't give anyone the right to touch them.
I hate being around grown men, even my step dad. I know he won’t do anything to me but I still feel uncomfortable. I was three when my biological father did things to me.
I'm so so sorry you had to go through that, and I hope your bio dad rots for what he did to you at such a small age.
The old men teachers make me uncomfortable even tho they didn’t do anything..yesterday I was crying under a tree because I got hit with a volleyball in the tummy by my classmate and a guy started walking towards me and he was old. I got scared of him and I didn’t want it to happen again so I ran to my bestie.
God. Yeah. This shit hasn’t even happened to me, I’m just scared.
I hate that there’s men offended that women are afraid of men and we literally gotta explain why we are. Like mf, have you seen how much stronger men can be and how *frequently* they sexually assault and kidnap women for their pleasure? How tf do you miss that? And then have the audacity to reply “that happens to men too” like it all equals out and so men have the right to say you shouldn’t be scared even though they’re clearly not as vulnerable with a man/woman or on an empty street. If that was the case- rapists would have harsher sentences instead of given excuses in our society.
Edit: Yes, I know men can be victims too if you didn’t read between the lines, don’t worry. But don’t think for a second you can ignore the differences between how much women are affected versus a man because that’s just being ignorant.
@@quota3734 I was with you until you said something that sounded like men don’t get sexually assaulted too, which they do- I should know, my dad did- and if that’s not what you meant, could you change the phrasing?
I did a project on the #METOO movement inside prison systems, rape should never be seen as a good consequence/as a joke to riff off on - even if the victim is incarcerated. ANYONE can be a victim, ANYONE can be the assaulter. My cousin was molested by her then middle school boyfriend who happened to be her brothers best friend, her step mom gaslighted her into saying she made it up/over exaggerated the situation. Her brothers friend never got consequences, she to this day is told to stay quiet/keep it in the family. The boy even admitted/apologized for it, but in our " religious" family - she's been made to believe it was her fault... it makes me so mad when people use religion as an excuse for shitty things and how fucked up it is that my own family could do that to her.
That’s horrible… I am so sorry for what happened to her and I hope she is doing better now. ❤️ as a Christian, (as you can probably tell from my pfp) I am so sorry, and I also absolutely hate and despise when people use religion as a way to excuse their horrible actions and minds. I’m not sure what religion your family is, but what you mean by “religious” I assume you mean some form of Christianity. (My apologies if I am wrong, and please correct me) and if that is the case, I just want to say that is not real Christianity at all, and I am so sorry if your family’s ways of doing things left a bad taste in your mouth. I became Christian because of God’s pure undying love and all the love it teaches. It makes my blood boil when people like that (people who claim to be apart of a religion but do not live by it’s teachings at all, or even worse, use their religion as an excuse for being a horrible person) give others a wrong idea and a false impression on the religion. Sexual assault, rape, etc. is not something of God nor something to be brushed off. It is a serious, heinous, disgusting sin that will be judged dealt with accordingly. I really do hope she is doing better and knows it is absolutely not her fault. If you or your cousin is alright with it, I would love to pray for her. 🙏🏻❤️ And I hope she knows, no sin goes unnoticed, and everything hidden in the dark will eventually one day be exposed. God bless you guys and take care. ❤️
@@sarahcloud444 yes you're right about it being a Christian branch, though our situation growing up was more cult like then anything else. My mom was an abusive narcissistic person who's favorite pastimes included saying everything was someone else's fault and kicking people out of the family she deemed unworthy. Everyone close to us has been kicked out of the cult ( which were happy for btw, my cousin and i were also kicked out) and everyone has been really fucked up by her abuse in some way. My mom loved to use religion as an excuse to abuse/control people, she lost custody of me when I was 14 after she disowned me for coming out as LGBTQ and for not wanting anything to do with the cult. To put things in perspective, I have a seizure disorder and multiple other medical problems that weren't being treated because my mom insisted that it was fair punishment for being gay. ( she also didn't really believe in/like doctors). So yeah.. our family is a whole bundle of fun. It makes me so confused why they would continue to pass down beliefs they see as abusive themselves
What kind of religion is that? It sounds more like the people who covered up the injustice worshipped themselves and their image before others instead of God. If I hadn’t also valued myself over other people I would have much harsher words to say … But I will say this: God punishes all evil, whether the actual perpetrators are judged or Jesus Christ bears their curse in his own body. I pray that you find peace in God’s justice and in his boundless compassion. Jesus is intimately familiar with the shame, grief, and pain of your experience. He was publicly hung naked for a crime he didn’t commit, because he loves sinners and sufferers so much. The people who had him crucified justified it with religion, too. He’s not afraid of your past (or your present).
Someone dear to me experienced SA from her own brother. Her parents did nothing to deal with his evil. Later, when her father died young, her brother cheated her and several siblings out of their inheritance. But Jesus has made her a wise, joyful, compassionate woman, miraculously able to forgive her brother even though her siblings haven’t. I hope you find that kind of hope and peace. Jesus is worth giving up everything. ❤️
@@mayleespann4552 that's why we say it was more cult like then anything else, only Christian in nature with her main beliefs. Thank you for wishing us well, I've been blessed to have actually met good Christians like my father who accept me for who I am and a church that let me be openly LGBTQ and work there as a co-worship leader and help with youth group activities. I've been extremely ostracized from religion and don't consider myself religious now but I'm glad I have a good support group and people who understand why I believe in what I believe.
It doesn't matter who the person is.
Assault is assault.
Teammate, husband, boyfriend, class/workmate, family member, friend, or random guy or the gender.
Truth
There's never an excuse or defense to hurt someone like this. Not a single one.
The worst part about it is that most of the time even when the woman was wearing something modest people would still find all sorts of excuses as to why it's not. Even if the victim was wearing baggy clothes that covered their whole body, people would still say "it still shows off your curves so you were definitely asking for it"
Now that's just plain stupid what they are saying is, "You still show too much if you look like a darn beanbag" The person who r*ped the person made a choice and your not giving them the consequences they need to not do that again. My, my, justice is blind.
@@kelilahfiles9143 what
I read that a SA case was dismissed in Peru bc the victim was wearing red underwear. People that blame victims will always find something
this doesnt happen “most of the time”
@@user-hm9ik6xq5n I didn't say it did, my comment refers to when it does. Maybe you should try working on your reading comprehension.
It is a real shame that there are people who do this in this world.
I know, I wish we didn’t need videos like this but since it’s a problem I’m glad we have videos like this. Also I’m sorry about your sister 😞
@@NyxMuffini know why you're mentioning the sister but that is extremely out of context for a video like this 💀💀💀
I was 9. It was a staff at my elementary school. It happened over 7 times. He took my virginity and self esteem. I’ve always thought it was my fault. 4 years later it still haunts me. I remember everything he said, the way he looked, how he grabbed me, the sound of my screams, the fear i felt. I don’t think I can ever look at anyone that looks like him the same again. No one knows except for my best friend. It’s definitely a secret I will take to the grave.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, it is 100% not your fault at all. Did you report him? Telling a trusted adult may be beneficial to report this man.
Do not keep it a as secret! What happened to you is bad and disgusting and noone deserve to be treated like this but just think about other girls he could assault! Please make sure he's in jail.
WHAT?! Do you know if he still works there?! Get a lawyer, something, brings the case up again! It’s so disgusting how majority of these inhuman creatures go unpunished on Earth!
I am so sorry for what you have had to go through these past years, I can't imagine what you have felt. I just thought you should know I, and I am sure anyone who has read your comment is so proud of you for persevering and staying strong through one of the most horrible experiences. I know it may not feel that way, but believe me, you are one of the strongest people on earth in my eyes. Telling your best friend and even coming online and telling strangers is such a powerful move. I understand you aren't ready now, but maybe one day you will feel you have the type of confidence you need to report him or tell other people, or maybe you will find another kind and feel more comfortable in yourself, either of which is amazing. I don't know much this will help, but virginity is a construct, so you can still be a virgin if you want to be. I know my words can't take back the hurt he has caused, but I hope you know that I care.
Oh my god, I’m soo sorry that happened to you.. 😭😭
9 AND A SCHOOL STAFF MEMBER?!? Omg..
I really hope you deserve a great life with everything you ever want in this life❤
Stay strong..
Much love and support..❤❤
i’m filled with a rage that has its nails rooted into my very soul.
Me too.
Before, my greatest fear as a woman is being robbed but now, it is being sexually assaulted. I literally pray every time I go out that no one would harm me.
Ma'am I just want to tell you that if you believe in a God that is great and will protect you, then there is nothing to fear. If you do get assaulted though, (Not saying you will) it might be traumatizing or even painful, but don't let that control you.
You shouldn't have to worry about things like that so much. Nobody should. I strongly suggest carrying something for self-defense, like pepper spray or a pocket knife.
@@kelilahfiles9143i agree, don't let your abuser keep that control over you. I've given mine too much control for so long, but now I actually despise him for what he did to me and others. if I see him again, i won't run anymore.
@@Disued667 what do you mean women are now converting genders because of SA?
@@millynocito7958 Maybe it'll help keep some predators away that way. I definitely wished I was born a man to avoid this.
I was wearing black cargo shorts and a black shirt. I was ten. I was told that this was normal. It was a part of growing up. I was told to yell “Fire” if I was in danger because nobody would listen if I screamed “Help.”
Wtf? I'm so sorry it happened to you.
You never deserved that, it’s a horrible thing to go through. I wish you the best getting help.
happened to me when I'm 11 years old, but it's my brother who did that to me
Hope one day I'll ran away from this house
I'll wish you luck man
Please get away as soon as you can ♥️
run and go be free you deserve so much better
“Just because they’re your partner doesn’t mean they have full access to your body” hit hard. -3:46
I'm also tired of people saying "that's not that big a deal, that's not rape", like you can just pick and choose what is and isn't detrimental to someone's health. Penetration is penetration. And that penetration can mean another life lost.
i definitely tried to say i wasn't assaulted just bc other women "had it worse" by their sexual areas like breasts or vulvas being groped. after i realized that your back, shoulders, etc. being touched under a sexual context was also assault, whether they are inherently sexual body parts or not, i was able to start processing what fully happened.
In the USA penetration of private areas is rape no matter what the type of penetration is.
@@Catlily5 I’m glad of that. That’s conviction done right!