Iffy Boundaries || Father Knows Something Podcast
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- Опубликовано: 28 июл 2024
- Welcome back to Father Knows Something! Real People. Real Stories. Real Dad advice with a dash of ADHD, and maybe a couple of millennials chiming in from time to time to add their takes.
This week's episode has Jerry, Justin, and Morgan discussing write ins that deal with iffy boundaries. How do you distance yourself from a longtime friend when you get a boyfriend? How do you deal with a friend that poaches your other friends? It can be so hard to set boundaries with loved ones, any advice on how to do it successfully would be so appreciated! Can't wait to see your comments!!
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Index:
00:00 -- Start
02:54 -- Story 1 How to distance from BFF..
19:35 -- Story 2 Boundaries with new baby..
34:05 -- Story 3 Friend stealing friends..
45:22 -- Story 4 Roommate crossing boundaries?
56:14 -- Story 5 Mom crossing boundaries..
Congrats Morgan!!! I’m so proud of you. My girl better be introducing herself as DOCTOR Morgan from now on 💅
⁹9
oof ⁹
yes!!
Dr Mogan lol has a good ring. Her accomplishing her doctorate at almost 30 makes me feel so much better about only going for mine at a point where I’d be in my early 30s once achieved. I see so many of these graduations of friends I went to hs with and it’s hard to not feel behind the curve. But then being so impressed with Morgan shows that it’s not at all behind the curve; I’m just in my own head lol
First story is definitely emotional cheating, there's no way to not feel guilty since OP is kind of lying to herself. No judgment intended, she just has to be honest with herself and admit she has stronger feelings for her friend than she's willing to recognize.
And if it’s true that she could never date him, it’s time to do two things.
1. Talk to the friend, one on one, and tell him that she values their friendship but she’s ready to end all physical touch between them except for a hello and goodbye hug if their friend group does those. Like, do whatever is normal within the friend group and Nothing More. Also, when you have this talk, no “final kiss” or any other BS like that.
2. I think she should ask herself what she’s been getting out of this herself. Is she finding validation in his affection/attention, and therefore is she more confident because she’s “sought after/desired”? Is she seeking some other kind of attention that maybe her boyfriend could work on? (Compliments, physical touch)? Identify why, to stop this interaction between her and Friend. If it is as simple as liking the validation of the affection, she needs to know if that’s enough to ruin her relationship or if she can easily separate herself from that validation and find it elsewhere (like fulfillment in academics/work, self-worth in being a great friend, etc/not focusing on needing to be desired [by anyone else but boyfriend]). And if she finds that she’s at a point in her life where that validation is a fixation, break up, and just go have a hot girl summer until you’re ready to settle down/come to the realization that it’s run it’s course and you’re tired of only having FWBs. And maybe it’s some other reason I can’t know from an outside perspective, but I hope she finds the answer to “why haven’t I set this boundary yet?”
Morgan - I have my master’s in social work and I say this with my whole heart: your degree is what makes this podcast worth listening to. I’m also autistic and disabled - I just cannot emphasize enough how many times I’ve been let down by other shows w the same format because they just miss things that you don’t. Your degree is more than just a thread, it’s the thing that makes your takes a valuable resource, not just entertainment. Just trust your fans on this - Dr. Morgan is a vital resource for us.
👏🏼❤
Well said!!
1000% agree!!
This!!! I 1000% agree
To me, the friend group one sounds more like OP is holding a grudge about her friend continuing to be friends with her ex-roommate and is afraid people will choose her friend over her if there's a falling out. Not that the friend is poaching.
Calling someone a friend poacher sounds very middle school. It's VERY difficult to make friends as an adult, and now ya'll are saying its weird to try to make connections through mutual friends? Damn. Why is OP having and planning on having more falling outs with her friends?
I was just about to say that! Like I’m not gonna stop being friends with people that did nothing to me. The falling out is between them two. And it’s kinda controlling you don’t get to decide who is my friend or not. And she doesn’t need to bring her around for everything if that’s the case.
Also, an easy way would be to not introduce her to friends she wouldn't want her to connect with? That's such a weird complaint, like you don't have the authority to decide who people become friends with, tf lol
Same thing I thought. I dare any of my friends to tell me who I can or cannot talk to. How childish. Of course you shouldn’t befriend every single person your friend hangs out with, that is a little weird. But OP introduced her to these people, now she wants to control much they get to communicate? Weird behaviour.
That’s exactly my train of thought!!
She also says she doesn’t want to be codependent but wants to have a say in who her friend is friends with. Very contradictory
Jerry I’m sitting here crying. I too got my doctorate of chiropractic but I’m not practicing (stupid cancer took a lot out of me) For a while I’ve been feeling like Morgan like what the hell did I do all that schooling for to not be able to do what I went there for makes me feel like a failure. But you saying the part about the things we do being the fibers that make up the fabric of who we are. You just spoke so much life into me. I just need you to know I value your advise and wisdom. Thanks for being our internet dad we didn’t know we needed.
Good luck on your healing journey! ❤
When Jerry said “I’ve had lovers” i immediately said … “EEEEEEWWWWW DAAAAAaaaaaddddddD” 😂😂
Love it!
The poacher friend relationship is a bit odd. I can understand the OP feeling the way she does . Sometimes you do want separate friends. BUT if OPs friend somehow end up connecting with OPs other friends naturally then its fair game. OP sounds a bit overprotective and controlling when it comes to her relationships. I do feel she sounds a bit insecure, almost like she doesnt want anyone to be closer to anyone but herself. Very strange indeed. Also just because a friend has a falling out with another friend doesnt mean you have to stop being friends with them yourself . Unless its something very terrible that makes that person a truly shitty individual. Sometime friendship fights are petty and both parties have fault.
That being said another great episode 🌻 and congratulations to you Morgan❤❤❤! And remember so many people go into a field that had nothing to do with their schooling. Its totally okay ❤.
100% agree, OP has issues to deal with
This!! Boundaries are things you set for yourself and your relationships. When you start trying to set boundaries for what other people can do in their own life, it’s not a ‘boundary’ anymore; it’s just being controlling
Story 3 if you don’t want your friends to end up friends then why bring them together and merge the “groups” idk personally I love when my friends meet each other and click and gain a bond for themselves.. it sounds like jealousy or fear of something coming up/ being left out.. but to add I’m not really a jealous person and enjoy when people are enjoying others/ themselves 🤷🏽♀️
this is the comment I was looking for, the writer sounds very insecure…
Exactly! I only introduce friends I know will get along and if they end up closer with each other, then great! Some people are insecure and can’t stand their own company which is why they control their friendships. The thought of being “left out” scares the living shit out of them.
The last story is very similar to my parents. Mom would come home from work and no even say hi to any of the 5 of us. My sister has cut her off and so now she playing the victim and wanting the rest of our attention after a life time of neglecting us all and is now trying to act like worlds best mom when it’s a little to late. My dad is also the same respects boundaries and willing to change himself but protects my mom and her ego at all costs.
Can I just say that intro music SLAPS
Story 4: I REALLY want to know if there’s past history between roommate & boyfriend??
On story 3, I was that friend (minus the poaching or climbing, and I never invited myself, plus social media wasn't as present) in high school. The reason being was I got bullied a lot in elementary school, and didn't have any friends. I did end up branching off on my own eventually, but I was the tag along at lots of parties. I'm really thankful to my childhood friend that brought me around their crowd so I could make my own friends.
I rarely disagree with Morgan but on the third story I think OP is wrong. I agree with everything Jerry said, and she should let people be happy.
She sounds very controlling and insecure, the comment about her friend possibly "wanting to trade lives with her" is a major red flag. It sounds like she's the one actually jealous and insecure about her friend thinking she'll swipe everyone.
I don't expect people to fight my battles. I'm secure enough with myself that I don't need to micromanage the relationships in my life. She honestly sounds really insecure by expecting everyone to stop talking to someone just because SHE does.
Agreed!
Story 5- it really sounds like mom knows what she did to him as a kid and feels like shit so she’s trying to make up for it but it’s too late. She probably jumps to “you hate me” because she know he has reason to and she wants to hear him say I love you to negate how she feels inside. Unfortunately I come from a lot of unhealthy family circumstances and it’s very common in that situation.
I think the friend “poacher” story is odd. Friendship is a beautiful thing and it’s typically fun to have your friends integrate and love hanging out all together. If she didn’t want her knowing her other friends she could just not hang out with them while hanging out with her. To ostracize your friend for taking interest in the people you supposedly love to be around is weird. It sounds like she’s the bad friend especially if she is doing this all in the name of “if she has a falling out with that friend.” That’s a weird mindset to have with your friends. If you are expecting to have a fall out, maybe you’re the problem.
Story 3 is definitely not a healthy friendship. I had a friend that was my “best friend” since high school. We’d been friends for 15 years when we called it quits. She would ask for phone numbers of facebooks of every person I brought her around. Any guy I would start falling for she would magically start talking to them. Always starting the conversation about me. Once leading into phone you know whatting and sending pics. Another, she’s been with for 3 years (the one that ended our friendship) and is now pregnant with his baby. I always felt like this girl did and said it felt like she wanted my life or to be me… it was very that.
It does happen, listen to your intuition… definitely sounds like she was very jealous of you and wanted to take anything she could away from you. I would stay far away from her!
Creepy. Reminds me of that movie White Singe Female.
Story 1: Absolutely something that needs to be faced. I truly recommend talking to your boyfriend and ending things/taking a break while you figure your feelings out with your friend going forward. I was in a similar situation. Friends with my ex who I was actually still in love with and I was trying to date someone new. I found myself welcoming the flirting from my ex and felt extremely guilty but was afraid to confront it until it all came to a head and I really ended up hurting the person I was trying to start something with. 2 years later and I’m completely in love with that person, I wish I never entertained the friendship with my ex at all at this time because the way I went about everything truly hurt everyone involved and was probably the worst way. It’s hard to confront something and be up front with your feelings - but your bf deserves to know and you deserve to have some time to figure out what you want. If your boyfriend had a friend with the same situation, I’m sure that would hurt so you really have to put yourself in those shoes. Good luck and I hope you make the best decision for yourself and everyone. ❤
For story #5 My mom and I had this conversation about how she thought I would be a more affectionate daughter but I told her she didn’t raise me that way. And reminded her that even my grandmother(her mom) wouldn’t like me being “too affectionate” and would literally tell you in Spanish “enough, that’s enough” and push you away. Luckily my mom understood and agreed that it just wasn’t how she was raised and regrettably she passed it to me.
Story three comma the friendship one.. Sounds like the Writer is really insecure and compares herself Or feels like she has to compete with the friend. Why does she feel threatened by her friend? Sounds like she needs to do some interpersonal work. In their personal work on insecurities. I love match making among my friend groups. I certainly wouldn't take actions to make sure that my friends do not acquire more friends. You can't control people like she is trying to do
Morgan I know the feeling of finishing grad school and then going into a different career path. First off, that knowledge and experience will never be a waste, no matter where your career ends up going. You never know when that knowledge will be helpful, whether you or a friend ends up having a child who needs your help and insight, or being able to speak up for the profession in different ways. You’re going to use that training in ways you didn’t expect! Second, I recommend keeping up on your licensure or whatever you need to do so that you can jump back into it if you want/need to in the future. There may be a scenario years from now where you find yourself burnt out or just yearning to get back into OT even part time. It’s just good to have that backup if Plan A doesn’t go the way you want.
Story 1 already knows the answer to her own question, “you can’t have your cake and eat it too”. Her ideal outcome is not rooted in reality there is no way she can keep this up and not feel guilty, at the end of the day it’s wrong and she knows that. She needs to take herself out of the equation and consider how this affects people other than her in the situation.
Story 2: when the family calls, you can decline to talk and then let them know the best time to call you back. In this situation, maybe the new mom only can talk once or twice a week. So she could say/text, “Hey I can’t talk right now, but I should have some free time to talk on X day at X time.” Being clear about when you can or can’t talk will be super helpful and will give the family member some piece of mind. If the family member can’t respect that you are a busy person with limited time and energy, that’s on them. If they start saying stuff like, “but you should make time for important things, like talking to me,” know that they are being dismissive of what you just told them and that is disrespectful. Don’t feel guilty if they do this. You communicated and you can’t talk now or as much as before, and it’s normal for them to feel sad, BUT they shouldn’t spin this around and dismiss what you said.
first of all: congrats to Morgan!
second of all: people who dotdotdot, I can’t stand it, I work with so many people and I realized it’s a completely harmless thing to do by my US coworkers (usually) so I try to handle it accordingly, but maaan it drives me mad, it definitely feels agressive to me for some reason
Don’t feel bad Morgan! I graduated with a degree in make up and hair styling for tv/film and I went on to start my own skincare business instead! Life puts you on the best path always ❤
Whats ur business name?
Way to go Morgan!!! Love the proud dad moment!
Before my partner and I started dating, I thought there was no way we’d be a good couple. I thought it would be a disaster. And now we’re three years in, living together, and have a dog. Turns out I think these thoughts were me trying to bury my feelings. Never works lol!
Story 3: The writer can’t stop her friend from befriending her other friends, BUT the other friend should stop trying to make plans to hang out with other friends through the writer.
I get that this friend probably feel that she needs to include the mutual friend out of respect because they are “her friends first,” but friendships are more fluid than that! It’s okay for you to hang out with people without the mutual friend. Instead of hanging out as a group, I think writer and her friend can just hang out one-on-one with friends and perhaps accept that they aren’t as close as they used to be.
Not that it compares to Morgans achievement in the slightest, but I’m a nursing student with some practical experience in my placements.
I feel like she says exactly what Im thinking but much more eloquently when she looks at the issue from an occupational therapists point of view and her experience in ot. It’s so incredibly valuable and ads a different, but much needed perspective.
Has always been something I love about the podcast and she should be incredibly proud of herself ❤❤
Correction DOCTOR morgan 🎉❤
I can relate so much to the 5th story, growing up my mother NEVER showed affection. Only once after a car crash that left my forehead like a water fountain she showed me affection for about a minute…now that she’s elderly she wants to hear the I love you, wants the hugs and I want none of it. She blamed it on growing up the same way, but never changed that with us, her children. She goes as far as to make fun of her friends posts on social media when they write a post of love dedicated to their children or grandchildren. She says, don’t you think they’re a quite ridiculous posting that? I’m pretty sure she’s jealous of it.
The last story - My mom pushed me away due to her toxicity and now tries over compensating with my brothers by being "loving", "caring" and affectionate with them (it makes them extremely uncomfortable). I think she is doing it because she knows that she's not invincible and cant do whatever she wants to us and expect us to always be there no matter what. I think the mom in this story is doing the same thing so she can hang on to her son and is trying to rebuild bridges she already burnt down a long time ago.
Story 1: You need to redefine your relationship with your best friend. If you think your boyfriend and you will go the distance, you really should be telling him. You are emotionally cheating when you are intimate with both.
Story 2: Your husband and child is your nuclear family. They come first. Tell them they come themselves for the weekend once a month. They are not making enough effort. Tell them you will call them when you can or schedule the time into the day so both sides know.
The friendship answer was so not what I thought you would say! Introducing friends to each other is one of many ways to actually make friends. The OP is upset that one friend is ‘poaching’ another friend. That is ridiculous and she sounds like a controlling person who gets her feelings hurt too easily. I have a friend who is the exact opposite of this. She has tons of friends and actively tries to introduce her friends with each other. She is extremely generous and tries to pair people she feels would get along with each other. When you get to the age that friendships are hard to make, friends of friends is one of the best ways to meet other people. I’d warn her that one day she may be reliant on her friendships to meet anyone new!! Omg I feel so strongly about this! 😅
Congratulations Morgan!! We all love the things you’re doing with your life ❤️
The story about the grandparents who won’t leave the new parents alone felt so similar. I don’t have kids, but my folks act that way. The advice y’all gave about the guilt not being your own but theirs really hit home. I appreciate that. It’s a perspective I think a lot of us forget.
Love to all xo
I feel that it’s weird for op to not want her friends to be friends. Like she is not “poaching” friends she is just trying to make friends in general and op is the only person she knows. if you genuinely like all your friends, you would not be so upset about them being friends with each other. It’s not the same as in Morgan’s story where her friend dropped her as soon as she made new friends. Op’s friend is lonely and is just asking for help to make friends. She is not trying to oust Op, she is just trying to expand her friend groups. It feels like Op wants her friend to be only friends with her. If she genuinely wanted separate friend groups she would help her friend make friends somehow, not just ban her from befriending her mutuals.
So proud of you Morgan❤❤
Thank you ❤️🥹
That is amazing!! Congrats Morgan!! ❤
Congratulations Dr. Morgan!! 🎉❤. Such an amazing accomplishment
Morgan’s dad gives me hope there are still normal guys out there for those of us turning forty and divorcing.
Congratulations Morgan!!! Such a huge accomplishment!!
Congrats Morgan! 🎉
And don't feel bad Jerry! The ... IS just indicating a continuation, grammatically spealing lol. It can indicate annoyance or something negative but that purely depends on context. Not everyone views the ... as the other person indicating something negative. So, if someone you're texting with gets weird, you can just ask them "Was it the...?" 😂 Love you guys! 💜
The roommates with the boyfriend sleepovers was so my whole college experience. My sophomore year both my roommates had their boyfriends sleeping over what felt like every night. And my bedroom was right next to the main bathroom. I’m a very modest person, and wanted to be able to run around the house in my nightshirt without feeling like I’m flashing someone. That situation ended very badly, so I made the women I was gonna live with the following year agree to no multiple night sleepovers. We were all in agreement, except over the summer, they both acquired boyfriends, and I was back to live in boyfriends. I had told them my boundary and they totally shit all over it. Our year ended badly, with great animosity between all of us. My senioryear, I only had one roommate and when I was explaining my boundary, she offered a compromise that I could live with, and I finished my college experience on good terms with her(as far as I know, we lost touch when I moved away for grad school). My one semester of grad school was the best. I’m not sure if it was cause I had great understanding roommates, or because it was a fairly religious Jesuit school, and I think that may have been a school boundary as well as a rooommate boundary. When I’ve explained to people how the animosity blew up my junior year. I used the example of, if as we planned to live together, none of us were smokers and we all agreed to no smoking in the house, and they came back after summer as smokers who smoked in the house. We had a solid boundary and they refused to accept it or try to renegotiate it. So, I see where the writer is coming from, and they need to have a meeting of the minds, or go their separate ways. It got to the point my junior year that I was staying away from the house as much as possible. They also planned a huge party for the night before I had to take my GREs which were imperative to my getting into a decent grad school, and no matter what I asked, they refused. I went to stay with a different friend that weekend and added locks to my bedroom door. We were on such negative terms, that I didn’t know if they were home once, when one of them got a phone call.(this was the dark ages, when dinosaurs roamed the earth and cell phones and the internet were merely whispered dreams or on the Jetsons).I went into their bedroom to see if they were there, and they weren’t, but they did have a pet rabbit. I had no real issue about the rabbit in general, but our landlord was no pets of any kind, ever, and I felt like it was my responsibility to insist they rehome the rabbit, as I loved my house and did not want to get evicted over their contraband bunny. This did not help our relationship at all, so my experience the following year, while not my ideal, was pretty good. And as I said, my grad school semester was the most fun, wonderful schooling experience I ever had. I maintained relationships with most of my friends, even after illness forced me to drop out and move home. They were so nice to me when I was feeling like death, and they put up with so much of my shit without ever complaining. There is nothing better than having roommates who understand you and are willing to put up with your quirks. Granted I have no way of knowing if they ever vented about me to each other, but it was amazing. We were really there for each other, to the point that I basically helped my one roommate rewrite her thesis paper, as I had no schoolwork, and I was a fair typist(not so much a fair typist anymore, so please pardon the typos). Unfortunately, the one roommate who remained after I moved home and my other roommate graduated, ended up getting stuck living with a literally psycho nun, who at one point barricaded herself in her room and the police had to be called to drag her out. Not having experienced it, I find it a hilarious story these days, more than 30 years later, but I’m pretty sure my roommate was scarred for life. Not all nuns are meant to be nuns, I suppose. If there is a god, I imagine he/she/it/they had other plans for that woman, makes one wonder what those plans might have been though, although as mostly an atheist, I don’t expect to ever find out for sure. Now that you know more about me than you ever wanted to, imma shut up and listen to the rest of the program. I’ve gotta say I love you guys so much both this show and THT, keep up the good work, and thanks for putting in the effort to produce and post these, and a very hearty congratulations to Morgan on her graduation. A job well done, and while it may not be what she’s doing now, it’ll always be relevant and necessary, I’m sure. I spent two sessions in physical rehab and my PTs and OTs couldn’t have been better for me.
I’m just catching up on episodes because life is crazy and honestly because iffy boundaries hits probably a little too close to home for me. But wow. I really loved your comment, Jerry, about “You are who you are because of the different fibers you put into your fabric.” I’ve been going through it hard the last year and a half. In fact I’m anxiously waiting to hear back from the aforementioned iffy boundaries person who a probably very toxic relationship with lead me to the crushing fall I had. I’m trying to make peace or find some healing because my soul says it’s the right thing to do. And I think that’s why- because either way that person was a major fiber in my fabric over recent years and while I lost myself for awhile I’ve always been a very “go with your gut, trust your instincts” kind of person. And I still believe life brought that person and I together and I don’t think life works to destroy or hurt any of us. Also keeping this in mind as I’m faced with a lot of difficult decisions and trying to finally get my life back on track.
But as someone who never really lived life with many regrets whose been awash in regrets more recently- I’m holding onto that quote. There’s so, so much I wish could’ve gone very differently. But either way it made me who I am. And I’m still here so that’s something.
Also loved that quote because the thing that’s been getting me through and helped me survive this darkest and most rock bottom time in my life has been learning to crochet. I’m crocheting while I listen. So very literally weaving together fibers and emotions and your podcast and advice into the pieces I’m working on right now. Thank you for being one of those many fibers in my life. ❤
Not you guys reading a story about co habitation and community then bickering right afterwards 😂😂❣️
Congratulations, Morgan!!! You must be hella proud of yourself! About Dad Jerry, thanks to you I now buy fun socks haha I've got a good collection now.
Wow!!! Congratulations Dr Morgan!!! 🩷
I have told my mom so maybe time when she says something and says “…” it comes off so condescending so I’m glad I’m not the only one
Congratulations Dr. Morgan!!
5:37 PREACH, JERRY, PREACH!!!!!!!
0:35 “Moegan!” AWWWWWW I loved that
omg the socks are giving Perry the Platypus
I love these boundaries ones😊
Congrats Dr.Morgan!
God I love you guys!!! And congratulations Morgan
I was considering writing in about something along the lines of your friends remaining cool with someone who hurt you… and I gotta say Morgan I really appreciate your words on that topic. May write in still with more content for more detail but that was awesome for today❤
The thing is, we can’t control other people. Just because someone hurt you doesn’t mean they are a bad person. I have friends I no longer like but I still see them from time to time because I still talk to other people in the group. It doesn’t bother me because I understand that I’m not the center of the Universe and people can be friends with whoever they want, same way I can be friends with whoever I want.
ahh congratulations morgan this is amazing 🎉
Morgan you look great without makeup! You're so pretty ❤
Go Dr. Morgan!!!🎊 🎉
your dad commandeering the end of that episode 😂
MORGAN DR IS SO OFFICIAL CONGRATS QUEEN 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
I’m here 12 minutes after ❤
wooooow 🎉 congrats Morgan 👏🏻
The three dots (periods) sometimes four in a sentence is called an ellipsis. Look it up it has nothing to do with a negative connotation. An ellipsis means that there is more to what is being communicated in that instance. Do kind of like trailing off and going onto another topic or subject matter. A pause if you will and changing the conversation but still continuing with something else. LOOK IT UP.
That is true which is why Jerry is using it the way he was probably taught in school. But us who have grown up on texting have created a new meaning to it.
Way to go Morgan. I am in my second semester in bachelor's degree and going on to get my masters
Watching this late, but my comments for the last story. I'm not saying it's the same situation for them, but my mother has NPD and did literally the exact same thing to me! She despised me as a small child and pushed me away too, then once I got close to puberty she started emotional incest, and she suddenly wanted very affectionate hugs and to cuddle for long periods of time
Lmao I use "..." (elipses) for a subject change and an annoyance lol
Congratulations Morgan!!!
Thank you!! 🤍
The first story feels like where I am now. I also just turned 26. I think what it is it that I’ve finally found what it is that puts my heart at ease with this person but aspects of them are things I cannot live with. I love him but there are dealbreakers. I’d still sleep with them both sexually but also literal sleep. We could cuddle and do couple things together but they are the one that may not fully fulfill me. I’d like to find someone that has it all and I know one would help me not feel the need to settle for who could be the one. It sucks to be single but also sucks to be unhappy together. I could but I know he wouldn’t. We’ve tried. Kinda.
Story 2: Why can’t the family that is demanding her and the babies time offer to come over and help her so she can relax and they can enjoy time with the baby? If you want effort from someone put in effort for that someone.
That's my thought. If you're so overwhelmed by being a SAHM to one infant, then why don't you use the resource you're complaining about and have your family come over and help clean and watch the baby and take the dog out and cook. Some people don't have families who care enough to call everyday or want to see them or help.
Story number 4...that girl is in love with her for sure idk why wasn't that brought up because that was the vibe I was getting
For story 3, I had a similar situation with a friend a few years ago let’s call her K, there was a group of 3 of us who always hung out, let’s call them N & C, N & C were already best friends before & I became close with N & soon enough I was being invited to hang out with the both of them, although I was closer with N & also started to consider her a ‘best friend’. A little while later a new girl, K, started at our job & we hit it off but couldn’t hang out much because she lived over an hour away. N & C didn’t take to her like me & they preferred I didn’t invite her when we hung out so I just hung out with K on my own & I didn’t see a problem with that, but K was always pressuring me to bring her around the group & i didn’t know how to tell her that they didn’t like her & since I was always at N or C’s place, I didn’t feel comfortable inviting K, but I would invite her over to my place but that was never enough for K, she was always asking to hang out with the 3 of us & it got to the point that I had to stop posting on Snapchat because if K saw that I was with N or C (usually N) she would ALWAYS text me right after I posted asking why she wasn’t invited, I always told her it was because she was far & our hangs weren’t usually planned but it was really because they didn’t want her there & I usually just showed up at N’s place anyways & we would eat & smoke & watch trash TV, it’s not like she was missing much, it’s the same thing we did when K came to my place but I guess I wasn’t cool enough for her because she always insisting that she wanted to hang with the group & I basically just stopped talking to her because I felt like the only reason she became friends with me was to get close to N & C, mostly N who she was starting to develop an obsession with N idk it was strange to me & it hurt my feelings because I didn’t understand why I wasn’t good enough to be her friend especially since I actually liked her & the other 2 didn’t. We ended up having a falling out & now I don’t even talk to N (different story for a different day) but I’ve always wondered if maybe I was the jerk? Idk sorry for the super long comment but story 3 reminded me of that situation a few years ago
Three dots in a row is called an ellipsis!😁
Congrats chaparrita 💐💜
Friends aunt used to use lol as lots of love, we had to break it to her after she commented on a death announcement with lol and her name 😮
jerry really has some off the wall takes sometimes especially with story 3 today😭 “well then the boyfriend doesn’t come over and if he does maybe he comes in through the window” it’s literally her house too. she said he’s there once every other week, sounds like the roommates are the issue here. they’re in college, i’m sure they have lots of guests over but for some reason she can’t have her boyfriend over? super not okay..
With all the naming and deciphering of who’s who in the stories the next logical step is to get dolls to act the stories out lol
Congratulations Morgan. Also, I feel like you forget this podcast is Jerry’s. Let him talk 😅
story 1: i was wondering if she was partly referring to dating the friend as a “nightmare” bc it would mean they would have to do long distance ?
Jery jery jery jery❤
Dads socks though
32:15 ahhh yes, when some people use ellipses (aka the “dot dot dot”) as a period when they have nothing else to add. That can be very annoying!
If you have something else to say, or are emphasizing a pause, use that ellipse!
The friend poacher OP sounds insecure and should rethink what it means to be a good friend… it’s hard to make friends as an adult and maybe this friend just meshes well with “your friends”. The way they keep saying “these are MY friends” is gross. I really disliked this story, sometimes it’s ok to tell someone they sound mean and controlling.
Aai story 5 sounds like the mom had a intemecy issue surrounding children. Either she was abused as a child or she was mentally ill when you where a child. Or both
I mean this with love and I am not attempting to be judgmental: I do not get the “friend poacher” thing. I want OP to do some introspection. The more friends the merrier. It just feels like a very exclusionary, kind of insecure train of thought. Seems like you may have a fear of being excluded yourself if all your friends become friends if you relinquish that control. Or either this person is not actually your friend and you want to exclude them purposefully. If this person remains friends with people you have a falling out with, how does that truly impact you? You can request this person not to bring this ex friend around and that is perfectly reasonable, but you have no right to dictate who is friends with who. If you are worried about this friend being friends with an ex friend, are you worried that the friend will trash talk you to the ex friend? Then don’t be their friend, they aren’t a good one. Anyway.
The part where you were talking about what the …. Is, it’s the same thing as a semi colon, meaning the sentence isn’t over, just so you know your wrong….
What ur slipper brand?
Ugg :)