Alessia I just really wanted to say thank you as you've really been helping me heal my relationship with myself. It's a work in progress but I've finally been able to break out of pursuing things for the sake of being attractive to men and rather pursuing those same things now because I want to and I want to be successful and smart and all those things I am/was. I feel as if i've been posing for the first 22 years of my life, being scared to be expressive or emote as i'm scared of being "ugly". Still wrestling with wanting plastic surgery and seeing my face in pictures...hopefully i'll learn to make peace with this too and accept that I have a perfectly lovely face.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me my love. I am proud of you and all the energy you are putting into healing your relationship with yourself. Sending you the biggest hug xx 💗💗💗💗💗
Thanks for making me feel understood. I wasted so much time appearing and subconsciously they were turning me into someone who wasn't me. I was transforming into the ideal person, but in someone else's life, not my own. Now the journey is long and tortuous, full of traumas and patterns to resolve, but I am sure that I will become the woman I want to be. for MYSELF.
Bless you my love. The fact that you are ready to chose yourself shows that you are already a powerful woman. Please know you are not alone on this journey, I and the other women on this channel get you 💘💘
Personally, I’m not attracted to men. But in society, women and people assigned female at birth are taught that we should look to men to validate us. Everything we do is scrutinized, and we’re just taught that this is how it’s supposed to be. So, even though I’m not into men, I still look for validation, because it makes me feel like I’m somehow more worthy as a person. Overall, I really appreciate your videos, Alessia. They’ve definitely helped me get better at validating myself, and not relying on validation from men, or the heteronormative society we live in.
I went on a journey of self discovery after a really terrible break up. I realized there is a whole other me that is good, and kind and intelligent. These videos on self validation that you are putting out there really have helped me seek it less and less. It is a struggle, but I find myself in the grocery store bare faced and in an oversized t shirt and I feel liberated. I don’t seek out that validation as much. Thank you so very much.
I was having a mental health day today so thank you so much for posting this. I am still on my journey of learning self validation and letting go of trying to „perform” for men but everything you said resonated with me so much so thank you
Thanks ! Just got back off my feet from a man doing me wrong and the opportunity to date has potentially come up and I got terrified - this came up at a perfect time ☺️
Hey Alessia ❤ thank you for your empowering positive videos. I wish you could make a community online where all your followers on RUclips could come together n talk. 😊🎉
Omg Lessie this is the most INSIGHTFUL and thought provoking video, you are so well spoken and I feel so inspired and empowered after watching this! Also LOVE the point about shifting from ‘self-love’ to focusing on a life you love! THANK YOU FOR ANOTHER AMAZING video Angel! ♥️✨🥹✨👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Alessia thank you, I relate so much to what you're saying in this video and it's such a relief that I'm not the only one feeling this and going through this! I just got out of my first ever relationship and one of the reasons (besides being incompatible with my partner) was that I felt like he's not seeing me for who I am as a person and rather sees me as the idea. I didn't feel like I could express my thoughts and opinions (because it seemed like he wasn't really interested and only wanted me to sit still, look pretty and listen to his stories/thoughts/etc), so I just closed off a little and stopped telling him anything, then I realized I don't want this kind of person in my life bc what's the point if I can't be myself around him and have to perform all the time. Glad that I realized it soon enough (we only dated for 2 months so it's fine). And yes - I got into this relationship because I wanted this validation, because I wanted to be chosen so bad. I didn't really care that we're incompatible and I don't really like him as a person in the first place. Lesson learned, so hopefully in my next relationship I will express myself more and will choose someone who actually sees and accepts me for my personality, not just looks.
I really appreciate your vulnerability and honesty my lovely. Your story really resonates with me and I am proud of you. 🥰 It's difficult to acknowledge that what we really want is validation/ to be chosen. It's hard to admit because it can feel icky. But in a patriarchal world it should be expected that women end up seeking this male approval. You are not alone - so many of us women get you. 💗💗💗💗💗
Step one: buy a bike Step two: buy another bike Step three: buy a third bike, cycle 50 miles a day and train like a mofo Step four: buy horrible tasting supplements and become an obsessed foodie Step 5: get the booty of your dreams and watch the men flock to you Step 6: start checking out the guy's bikes instead of the guys themselves Step seven: prefer to go train instead. If they want to tag along they better keep cadence! Step 8: buy carbon wheels
I love love love your videos soooo much! I can relate so much to always wanting to Look good to men.... your videos are so important, they always give me a little reality check ♡♡♡
If there wasnt such a scarcity of kind good looking accomplished men who treated women well then things would flow much more naturally then women wouldn't feel pressure to latch on reassured that they have options. Knowing what is out there it becomes harder and harder to throw the half cooked ones in case the next one is more rotten.
That makes me so happy! it has actually been one of my top RUclips goals to make everyone who watches feel calm, so thank you for letting me know! xxx 💗💘🥰
Aw bless you my lovely. You are the one that is really helping yourself - you have to be open to hear me properly and you've clearly done the work and are willing self reflect. So, my hat goes off to you! xx💗💘🥰
Is not reacting an option? I wouldn't bother wasting precious energy on trying to engage someone if they hold deeply sexist beliefs. Trying to reason with the unreasonable is often a waste of time and it's not your job to educate, within reason.
Can anyone reccomend what to look for in a therapist so I can learn to trust men again and not study them constantly to see what monster is hiding below ? Incessant studying. Can't even enjoy their company
Hi Alessia, Your content is fantastic! I'd love to assist you in enhancing your videos with premium editing and captivating thumbnails that can attract more viewers. Let's discuss how we can work together to grow your channel.
it's as if we're looking for an identity through him instead of having or expressing our own outside of that relationship
mantra: I am whole onto myself
@@BeStillandKnow0000 wise words 🥰💗❤😘💕
yes, totally!
Alessia I just really wanted to say thank you as you've really been helping me heal my relationship with myself. It's a work in progress but I've finally been able to break out of pursuing things for the sake of being attractive to men and rather pursuing those same things now because I want to and I want to be successful and smart and all those things I am/was. I feel as if i've been posing for the first 22 years of my life, being scared to be expressive or emote as i'm scared of being "ugly". Still wrestling with wanting plastic surgery and seeing my face in pictures...hopefully i'll learn to make peace with this too and accept that I have a perfectly lovely face.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me my love. I am proud of you and all the energy you are putting into healing your relationship with yourself. Sending you the biggest hug xx 💗💗💗💗💗
Thanks for making me feel understood. I wasted so much time appearing and subconsciously they were turning me into someone who wasn't me. I was transforming into the ideal person, but in someone else's life, not my own. Now the journey is long and tortuous, full of traumas and patterns to resolve, but I am sure that I will become the woman I want to be. for MYSELF.
Bless you my love. The fact that you are ready to chose yourself shows that you are already a powerful woman. Please know you are not alone on this journey, I and the other women on this channel get you 💘💘
@@alessiasutherberryYou clearly seek f'm'l'e validation. So why isn't this vid titled swap m'l'e validation with f'm'l'e validation?
Personally, I’m not attracted to men. But in society, women and people assigned female at birth are taught that we should look to men to validate us. Everything we do is scrutinized, and we’re just taught that this is how it’s supposed to be. So, even though I’m not into men, I still look for validation, because it makes me feel like I’m somehow more worthy as a person.
Overall, I really appreciate your videos, Alessia. They’ve definitely helped me get better at validating myself, and not relying on validation from men, or the heteronormative society we live in.
Spot on... we're conditioned from birth to want the approval of men..often starting with being a "Daddy's girl" 🤷🏻♀️
Thank you for this insightful and important perspective 💗🤗
@@leasparkles2861 so true!!!
@@leasparkles2861Nothing wrong with being a daddy's grl
No wonder you're not attracted to m'n. You've gone through the conditioning.
I went on a journey of self discovery after a really terrible break up. I realized there is a whole other me that is good, and kind and intelligent. These videos on self validation that you are putting out there really have helped me seek it less and less. It is a struggle, but I find myself in the grocery store bare faced and in an oversized t shirt and I feel liberated. I don’t seek out that validation as much. Thank you so very much.
I was having a mental health day today so thank you so much for posting this. I am still on my journey of learning self validation and letting go of trying to „perform” for men but everything you said resonated with me so much so thank you
Aw, I am sending a warm hug your way my lovely. Everyone in this RUclips community has got your back xx💗💗💗💗💗
Thanks ! Just got back off my feet from a man doing me wrong and the opportunity to date has potentially come up and I got terrified - this came up at a perfect time ☺️
aw my lovely I'm so happy to hear this - I'm sending a big hug your way 💗🥰💘
You'll soon get to a million subs and that's sure..You make such great content🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
aw bless you my love, thank you 🥰🥹💗💘
Hey Alessia ❤ thank you for your empowering positive videos. I wish you could make a community online where all your followers on RUclips could come together n talk. 😊🎉
that would be so cool!
Omg Lessie this is the most INSIGHTFUL and thought provoking video, you are so well spoken and I feel so inspired and empowered after watching this! Also LOVE the point about shifting from ‘self-love’ to focusing on a life you love! THANK YOU FOR ANOTHER AMAZING video Angel! ♥️✨🥹✨👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Aw hey lovely! Thank you so so much for your thoughtful comment 🥰❤🥰🥰🥹💚🥹❤💖🥰
Thank you for posting such high quality content for women!
Aw thank you for posting such a kind comment 💗💘🥰❤
Alessia thank you, I relate so much to what you're saying in this video and it's such a relief that I'm not the only one feeling this and going through this! I just got out of my first ever relationship and one of the reasons (besides being incompatible with my partner) was that I felt like he's not seeing me for who I am as a person and rather sees me as the idea. I didn't feel like I could express my thoughts and opinions (because it seemed like he wasn't really interested and only wanted me to sit still, look pretty and listen to his stories/thoughts/etc), so I just closed off a little and stopped telling him anything, then I realized I don't want this kind of person in my life bc what's the point if I can't be myself around him and have to perform all the time. Glad that I realized it soon enough (we only dated for 2 months so it's fine).
And yes - I got into this relationship because I wanted this validation, because I wanted to be chosen so bad. I didn't really care that we're incompatible and I don't really like him as a person in the first place. Lesson learned, so hopefully in my next relationship I will express myself more and will choose someone who actually sees and accepts me for my personality, not just looks.
I really appreciate your vulnerability and honesty my lovely. Your story really resonates with me and I am proud of you. 🥰
It's difficult to acknowledge that what we really want is validation/ to be chosen. It's hard to admit because it can feel icky. But in a patriarchal world it should be expected that women end up seeking this male approval.
You are not alone - so many of us women get you. 💗💗💗💗💗
What a beautiful and intelligent video.
I will email you soon. 💜
I love your nails 💅🏻
🥰❤🥰❤
Step one: buy a bike
Step two: buy another bike
Step three: buy a third bike, cycle 50 miles a day and train like a mofo
Step four: buy horrible tasting supplements and become an obsessed foodie
Step 5: get the booty of your dreams and watch the men flock to you
Step 6: start checking out the guy's bikes instead of the guys themselves
Step seven: prefer to go train instead. If they want to tag along they better keep cadence!
Step 8: buy carbon wheels
I love love love your videos soooo much! I can relate so much to always wanting to Look good to men.... your videos are so important, they always give me a little reality check ♡♡♡
Aw you've made my day! Thank you for being so so sweet! 💗💗💗💗💗💗 xx
If there wasnt such a scarcity of kind good looking accomplished men who treated women well then things would flow much more naturally then women wouldn't feel pressure to latch on reassured that they have options. Knowing what is out there it becomes harder and harder to throw the half cooked ones in case the next one is more rotten.
Thank you so so much, you make me feel so calm 😌 💗✨✨
That makes me so happy! it has actually been one of my top RUclips goals to make everyone who watches feel calm, so thank you for letting me know! xxx 💗💘🥰
Thank you for talking about this. Right on point!
😘😘😘😘
It was need it to listen thanks very helpful insightfully❤
aw thank you for taking the time to comment my love 💗🥰😘💛
you've helped me so so much
Aw bless you my lovely. You are the one that is really helping yourself - you have to be open to hear me properly and you've clearly done the work and are willing self reflect. So, my hat goes off to you! xx💗💘🥰
Thank you for a video! 🌞💓 Can you please recommend good books about feminism?
Here is a video with lots of recommendations: ruclips.net/video/QND9ZmlrThI/видео.html 😘💕
I totally experienced man being interested in just my exterior and I also did that to others. But I also know it doesnt fulfil me.
Do you have any books recommendations about feminism?
hi❤ would you upload some journal promts if u havent on this current and highly important resource gem of a channel?:) thank you for all of this!
Aw hey my lovely - of course! Thank you for the suggestion! 💗💗 I'll get on it! Thank you 💚💚💚
i love your videos!!
aw thank you my love 💗🥰💘💕
Preach ❤
💗🥰
What feminism books would you recommend?❤
I've actually done a video on this! I suggest podcasts and films too xxx 💗💗💗
Elouise Bridgerton would love you
Omg this is my favourite comment EVER 😅😅💛😆
lovely video
thank you lovely 💗🥰💘💘
How do you approach discourse with men in the manosphere? I work in an environment entrenched in patriarchy
Is not reacting an option? I wouldn't bother wasting precious energy on trying to engage someone if they hold deeply sexist beliefs. Trying to reason with the unreasonable is often a waste of time and it's not your job to educate, within reason.
I am not sure if I am honest my lovely. What is your job, if you don't mind me asking? 🥰🥰🥰
@@human_no847 I think this is brilliant advice 👏💗
❤️❤️❤️
💘💘💘💘
Are you trying to find a wife/gf?
Can anyone reccomend what to look for in a therapist so I can learn to trust men again and not study them constantly to see what monster is hiding below ? Incessant studying. Can't even enjoy their company
Don't ever trust men or anyone
Walls should stay up
BetterHelp have amazing therapists xxxxx
I also have a programme designed to help women decenter men xx
what color are your eyes ?? beige ??
You tell me!😆
I would so friend zone this young Woman, but in a really good healthy, real way for the both of us.
You want to be an enigma rapped up in a riddle. While others are playing checkers, you want to play three dimensional chess.😂
You are the reason we decenter men
Why don't you admit that you want wo'm'n to seek f'm'l'e validation instead?
If you keep going this path you will end up becoming a l'sb'a'n(if you aren't pne already)
You want all w'o'm'n to become L or B, don't you?
Hi Alessia, Your content is fantastic! I'd love to assist you in enhancing your videos with premium editing and captivating thumbnails that can attract more viewers. Let's discuss how we can work together to grow your channel.