Ways to stop obsessing over men fancying you. *Bye-bye male validation, hello self-worth !!*
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- Опубликовано: 25 мар 2023
- When you realise that male validation is unfulfilling, you will set yourself free. Don't wait for a man to validate your existence.
If you liked this video, watch this one of mine - • Decentering men 101: *...
This video covers - advice/tips on how to stop focusing on male validation (easy techniques).
💗 I do decentering men coaching! 💗 I have a programme that is specifically designed to help women stop obsessing over male validation. Email me & ask for details if you're interested in chatting to me ✨ - alessia.sutherberry@hotmail.co.uk
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This is like a window into a bizarre alternate universe. Ladies- try looking at the men around you seriously and realize how unimpressive so many of them are!!! Why try to impress so many men who are beneath you? Why waste time thinking of them? Focus on you & what you want! Go for the top grade, pursue your own interests, listen to that voice inside and what you want to do! there is so much to do out there!
Getting attention from men is too easy. I stopped caring when I realized there is no real reward from it. And honestly, it happens even when you’re not asking for it. It’s not a huge achievement or anything. What is hard and highly rewarding is showing up for yourself and doing the things you want to do! The real ones will stick with you.
Currently as a 19 yo young girl i can deeply confirm. I’m already not really a social butterfly but especially as soon as a man starts to make it obvious that he’s interested in me i start to heavily overthink everything. Until to the point where i feel like i owe them beauty, sexiness and attractivness 24/7. Even in the hardest times. I think it’s a highschool trauma in me that i still couldn’t %100 solve.
I remember i used to wear leggings and a tight top at the gym. I really believed i did it "for myself", until lockdown came. I started working out in then in the house, and because there was noone there to see how i looked, i realised how uncomfortable, restrictive and not good for working out they are. Thats when i had to be honest with myself that im doing it to display my body. It was a huge ego drop to admit but it was true. I have changed a lot since then because I realised how in every asect of our lives we are conditioned to be visually pleasing. I also need to say how much better working out is in loose clothes. Marketing really fooled me there.
As a woman, I've found that true happiness and love come from a connection with God. It's a beautiful journey of self-discovery.
Not dressing for men has made dressing so much more fun and comfortable and freeing! It’s literally the best once you liberate yourself from that
This is such an important topic... I always felt so embarrassed because of caring so much about male attention. When I was in school I had multiple crushes but none of them liked me back and it completely messed up my self-esteem and confidence. Now that I'm older and look better I see that men look at me but instead of being happy about it it just makes me feel uncomfortable. This is soo draining that my whole life has been centred around what men think of me. Your video helped me see a different perspective
“you’re not here to be sexy… we’ve got so much to give but we’re drained on all of that talent energy because we’re fixated on something that’s so draining” 💞
As a young girl society told me that your value as a woman is based on men validation and that men validate you only if you're interesting to them by your looks. I always thought about how perfect I have to be, if i sit right, look on point, etc. Later I found out that I attracted a lot of shallow men that objectified me and were intereated in my looks only. I then wondered why they don't want to get to know me more and I thought for a moment that maybe I don't have anything else to offer than my looks. Now I know that's not true at all. I started to take care of my looks only for myself and when someone starts to objectify me, I immediately distance myself. Thank you for making this video, I think there's still a lot of women who need to realize this. ❤
Decentering men gives you a glow like no other. I can see you glowing and I am experiencing this myself. Working on myself for myself from now on. Glad I had this awakening at 29, 30 in a few months. So glad I can start a new decade not focusing on outside validation.
The most insane part is that I caught myself multiple times trying to impress men I wouldn't touch with a stick
Ladies, stop thinking 🤔 you need to look like an Instagram model for a man who doesn't brush his teeth.
Ladies, TAKE THIS ADVICE! You DO NOT want to wake up at 45 and realize you spent your 20s-30s catering to men and trying to be attractive to them. Of course you may want a relationship with one and you want to feel desirable, but don’t attach your self worth to it for the love of all that is good. I did this in my early twenties very heavily, and at 26 I am trying hard to untangle my identity from that drive. Being obsessed with male validation makes you small, competitive and insecure. It ruins your self esteem and reduces you down to an object of desire. I realized that if I kept going, I would have nothing once I was older, because society has such a narrow view of what is appealing to men, and it never accounts for what REAL people desire. You can be vibrant and attractive at any age, but not if you waste your life trying to fit into this box. Don’t waste your life’s purpose trying to get attention. The right man will see you for who you are, and you won’t have to change or preform for him.
The men who “adore” you are the same ones who will vomit at you when you are “old” just because you are no longer attractive to them, because they only ever valued you for looks. It’s so sad. I am so sorry for what teens have to grow up in these days and pray for humanity!
Margaret Atwood's quote that opened my eyes and shifted something in me, was "You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur." As women and especially girls we're always catering to male gaze, even when it's literally nonexistent. My mission is to fight it out of me.
I really want to stop seeing other girls as competition, thank you for this, it was really helpful
there’s a quote from a book that has stuck with me ever since i read it a few months ago now, “when was the last time you were with a straight man, any straight man, and he said something remotely more interesting than what you were already thinking…”
"We need more women in the higher positions, we need more women having a big more influence on this world." Exactly!
I didn’t actually realize so many other women did this. Its both nice and sad to realize this reality.
This wasn't an accident. We're supposed to feel watched/monitored so we don't step out of line. The same way you keep an eye on your pet incase it runs away. It's a very clever, covert, subtle but powerful form of control.