how to *separate your worth from your looks* as a woman (male validation, true friendships, mindset)
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- Опубликовано: 6 авг 2024
- Separate your worth from you looks.
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Decentering Men Coaching - This programme will guide you towards leaning on self-validation rather than male validation. We will focus on cultivating a stronger sense of self-worth and self-love through chatting openly - I give clients space to share freely with me. We will deep dive into your experiences and how they have shaped you. You can share as much or as little as you're comfortable with as we tailor our discussions to your pace and preferences. ❤️ Kindness is at the heart of this coaching programme. ❤️ This transformative programme includes various tasks like meditations, journal prompts, and engaging activities tailored to enhance your experience. Email me & ask for details if you're interested in chatting to me - alessia.sutherberry@hotmail.co.uk
Self-Love Coaching - Do you need to be more compassionate with yourself? Do you need to find self-love and acceptance? Do you want to trust yourself? Do you want to be creatively empowered? - This programme is designed to help you feel truly proud of who you are. ❤️ Kindness is at the heart of this coaching programme. ❤️ This transformative programme includes various tasks like meditations, journal prompts, and engaging activities tailored to enhance your experience. Email me & ask for details if you're interested in chatting to me - alessia.sutherberry@hotmail.co.uk
00:00 - Coming up
01:15 - Pressure to be beautiful
04:06 - Some people are shallow
06:52 - Change your friendship circle
12:06 - Stop trying to look hot
15:34 - You're more than your appearance
16:37 - PURPOSE
18:55 - Pep talk
Please know you can always get in touch with me on ...
Instagram: alessiasuth... 
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As a south Asian, we constantly get criticised for our looks and our parents tell us to be a,b and c. This occurs a lot in the Asian community and I’m sure in others too, but it’s so liberating to see videos like this where I can actually show people my interests and not just put effort into my looks. I sometimes wear make up for me and I know I also have more to me than that ❤
As a fellow south asian, I completely agree and love that you brought it up. Those comments about our skin tone or weight are so hurtful and uncalled for.
I hear you lovely. I am so happy to hear you feel excited to share your interests with people - that is beautiful! 💘🥰 Sending you a big hug xxx💚
Another great thoughtful video 😊 I think a lot of people mistake "fans" for friendship. I've also found in the past when I'd dress up, I'd have people compliment my looks and their attitudes towards me would change. I refer to it as a "fan" reaction because it feels very shallow, fairweather and mindless.
It's sad that many people feel the need to cater to "fans" by overly focusing on their appearance instead of good, genuine friendships
So well said I’ve seen this and gone through this and also seen secondhand how it can end poorly
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Very interesting and true! Such a clever way to put it lovely 💗💗💗
To every woman out there you are so much more than your looks and you are loved!!😽😽💕 Love your videos Alessia 💕
aw thank you for your special and beautiful words lovely 💘🥰❤💗 xxxxx
I have been struggling with this for so long so I'm sooo grateful that I came upon this. Our lives are not about looking good and being attractive but about living to the fullest and making meaningful contributions to this world. I feel like it's almost impossible not to judge yourself based upon your looks when you're on social media. And honestly I think it's fine to base SOME of your confidence on your looks. But nowadays I feel like many people, mainly girls, only base their worth on their outer appearance which is just doomed because throughout our lives, certain events will alter and mark your body in certain ways and I fear that when this happens, these people will feel worthless because they didn't foster other things that gave them a sense of self worth.
I still have an incredibly long way to got with this but I'm glad that this issue is being discussed more. Thank you so much for this video, Alessia.
Sending you lots of love my lovely 💘😘❤
Please don’t stop making these, you’re really helping me at the moment x💓
this is lush ❤❤ @alessia
💘💘💘@@jordhailwood
aw bless you!💗💗💗💗 I've got you girly xxx🥰🥰🥰
I really like this because as a woman I feel as though I have to be model attractive all the time. Otherwise, I won’t get compliments or someone's approval or attention, I’ll be left feeling undesirable and unimportant.
Whereas I see men get compliments or approval or attention for being funny or intelligent, like I wish to receive more of that attention than attention for my looks because it makes me think "oh this is what I'm good at this is what I'm supposed to be" and then a large part of me is unhappy and completely exhausted because humans really were not put here to be model statues for the public to look at and admire that seems like such a limited life of human intelligence and creativity.
I'll even notice that before I walk my dog, I think to myself in the morning "wow I'm so ugly this morning, my face is puffy from the food I ate last night, and my skin feels awful I need to wash my face and depuff and drink water" instead of walking my dog and I sort of just degrade myself in the mirror subconsciously, and I hadn't notice it until now because the thoughts are so quiet and subtle it don't hear it you just feel it. You open up such a discussion for women to admit the insecurities they face and the pressures they feel to be beautiful.
I've neglected my personality/mind for a long time because of this and a lot of the times I can feel like I'm watching people watch me. This need to be perfect on camera or even when no one is watching because I can't be caught "ugly", it would ruin my life, no one would like me, and I'd be undesirable. But all I'm doing is creating an audience of people that only like me because of my looks and not who I really am. I feel as though I am being an image or ideal for someone and I'm sort of lost in who I really am, feels weird, like I'm becoming 2d
On social media people see the best of me, my best poses or best facial expressions, when I'm intentionally setting myself up in a way to be attractive with makeup and doing my hair, best outfit. Though no one is seeing the faces I make when I'm extremely concentrated or focused, I can tell you it's not picture perfect, and no one is seeing me when I'm angry and flaring my nostrils and no one is seeing me when I'm crying, and my face is puffy so.
I feel like in groups of women my age that's the only time I am allow myself to be unattractive in all my ways because I am not trying to impress anybody. In a way us women are at such a war with being unattractive because to us it feels like we lost the love of our life if we are not, and we tell ourselves the only way a man will like us is if we are attractive in the ways society tells us to be.
watching my mother grieve over her appearance because she's only getting older and older, which to her means "less attractive' and "less undesirable' and i see her crave to have a husband. But if we as woman define ourselves as more than our looks, I think we can really heal ourselves and revolutionize in a way we've never seen women do before.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings so openly. It's truly important to recognise and value ourselves beyond just our physical appearance. You're absolutely right that our worth extends far beyond how we look, and embracing our intelligence, humor, and creativity can lead to a more fulfilling life. Your insights about the pressures women face are profound, and I believe your journey toward self-acceptance and empowerment can inspire others to do the same. Keep being you lovely 💘🥰💗❤😘
Thank you for sharing so bravely and boldly 💗
Alessia this is such a powerful video! ✨ Gosh it breaks my heart how many years and years I have spent focussing on trying to look attractive. I genuinely can't remember a day when I haven't worried about my appearance. I have been repeating the affirmation you shared in your last video each day and adore it - "my main focus is on experiencing joy" 🌻I love my mindset, I love my perspectives and I love how I respond to challenges xxx You are golden and your passion shines through 💖 keep shining 💖
Thank you for your kind and special words lovely. 💘🥰 You are so strong and I am proud of all the work you are putting in - future you will thank you 🥰💘❤💗💚✨ Sending a big hug your way xxxxxx
Thank you Alessia. I've been grappling with this a lot lately, trying to figure out strategies that will really work and trigger a deep shift within myself in relation to this topic. The incessant pursuit of beauty is a sickness in the society we live in today, almost a disease. I've been trying really hard to cure myself of this disease. You have a very powerful voice. ❤ Lots of love!
You're such a beautiful human and this video made me tear up :,) thanks for sharing these perspectives
Awwww you are beautiful inside and out my love! Thank you for your kind words. Lots of love xxx💘💗
This is such a relief to know im not alone in feeling this way. Im working to take some pressure of myself in order to start living. Thank you for your videos.
You are certainly not alone my love. 💘💘💘 We see and get you 🥰🥰💘💘
Oh my god thanks for this , I requested a similiar video and you delivered !! You’re the best girly x
Yes! You did! It was inspired by your comment! 🥰💘💗
I want to be beautiful to feel confident and not care about what people would think of me. I know that when I feel pretty, I don't have social anxiety anymore.
Love your content, just found it today! Keep doing these video, they bring so much value ❤
aw welcome to this RUclips community my love! 💘🥰 xxxxx
Thank You much
I really needed this..Literally My whole life .❤
Love From India
Aw you are MORE THAN WELCOME! 💘🥰😘💗 Sending my love to you in India xxxx
We have beautiful voices.
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WOOOOOOOOOOW! Lessie this is so insightful and another AMAZING, wise video! Thank you for this beautiful video, such an important message! I actually teared up at the end! Go girl, love you and so proud of you
Thank you so much my love!🥰😘❤️✨ You are the best - love you so much xxxxxxxxx
this is such an important and precious message💖💖
I needed this. Thank you!
you a more than welcome my love xxxxxx
A much needed video! Thanks!
💘🥰❤ lots of love xxxx
This was so helpful ❤
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Your content is so inspiring🥺
aw that makes me so happy 💘🥰💗✨
Ms. Alessia! Thank you so much for your content. I stumbled upon you yesterday and have binge-watched quite a few videos and am excited to continue implementing your advice and embracing your love and words of encouragement! You are so right-with a shift in our deeply ingrained thoughts towards ones of feminism, self-validation, and authentic purpose, women can take back their self-worth and understand our value in this patriarchal world.
Please keep on being your authentic you and using your talent and hard-work to bless us all!! You are much appreciated ❤️
Well hello! 💘🥰💗 Thank you so much for your kind words! It means the world to me to hear that my content has resonated with you! 🥰
You are much appreciated too my love. Sending a big hug your way xxx
I love your videos
🥰💗😘 thanks lovely
Your content makes my heart feel full
you've made my day 💘🥰💗❤✨
thank you so much for this!! I love your videos also would love to see your lip combo:)
aw thanks lovely 🥰💘Oooo I will have to find the lipstick! xx
I discovered your channel yesterday. And I rewatch your videos everyday! Thank you 🥺🫶🏼💗
omg this makes me so so happy! 💘🥰💗✨ thank you for commenting lovely xxxxxx
great message:) lot of girls need to listen to this x
🥰💘💗💚 thank you lovely x
This video made me cry. I appreciate your work so so much ❤️😭😭
Aw bless you! I'm sending you the biggest hug xxx💘🥰💗❤😘
I think this is your best video to date
Thanks lovely x
You are my real life Beautiful Barbie! 💗
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How did you build a vegan community around you in real life?! I have online community, and my friends don’t judge me & accept my food choices & are open to learning about it, but totally not open to actually changing their diet. Can feel isolating at times not having connections IRL to share such an important part of my lifestyle with
Hey lovely! 💘💘 I'm glad to hear that you have a supportive online community and friends who respect your food choices! Building a vegan community in real life can definitely present some challenges, but it's also incredibly rewarding when you find like-minded individuals to connect with. One way to start is by seeking out local vegan meetups, events, or even joining a vegan cooking class or group fitness activity. Remember, even if you feel isolated at times, know that you're not alone, and there are many others out there who share your values and lifestyle. Sending you warmth my lovely fellow vegan ! 🌱💚
@@alessiasutherberryI appreciate this response so much 🫶🏼 thank you love! Will try these ideas ✨💟
This video gives me so much MUSLIM vibe girl.. I think we start to understand them and their values...
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There is so much to think about in this precious video that I watched it twice in a row 🩷
Aw bless you!!!!!! Your comment made me smile 😘🥰 xx
thank you♥
you are more than welcome 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Alessia, I just discovered your channel, your videos really help please do not stop, keep posting, the community in your channel is amazing, exactly what I need, thank you so much for your videos, 🫂🫂🫂🫂💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
Thank you so much for your incredibly kind words! I'm grateful to have you as part of our wonderful community. 💘Your encouragement means the world to me. Sending you lots of warm hugs! 💖🤗💖🤗💖🤗