i am an 18 yr old girl/young woman and this is hitting me now harder than ever… I was a pretty ugly kid during middle school/high school and had a bunch of acne but now finally that i am kind of starting to look okay and ab to go to college, i find that i am more insecure than ever… My father, brother and grandfather all died when i was a kid(brother before i was even alive) so i never even got to have the completely platonic, family male validation. That led to me now being obssesed with what every man thinks of me to the point where i am more depressed and tired than ever… I felt like i was on the verge of a complete breakdown but this video and comments like yours frl mean a lot to people like me that are currently painfully insecure….😕❤️🙏
As a 16 year old girl that was always struggled with craving male attention ever since I was literally 13 years old it has completely made me lose myself and just go off the rails as soon as I don't get attention from a man or honestly women too. But watching your videos seriously help me a lot and makes me feel more worthy than this.
Facts I’ve been obsessing over my looks since I was like in elementary school. It’s sad I wish I didn’t care so much about my physical appearance. saying to myself that I’m a beautiful energetic being makes me feel good
For me, seeking male validation began wayyy back when I was just a kid. The boys at school either totally ignored me or were not nice to me, whilst I watched them be nice to the ‘pretty girls’. Pair that with growing up with an insecure mum, the indoctrination that all kinds of media brings (as you mentioned), and getting more attractive as I got older, it was a perfect recipe for genuinely believing my worth is rooted in my appearance and how much attention i get. Now I am 28 and really trying to unlearn this behaviour. The journey is a spiral, it is not linear. Thank you so much for your videos, you are helping me on this journey more than you could ever know ❤️
Thank you for this. I'm literally sitting here crying rn because I feel so trapped in this cycle of seeking that "high" from the validation, then feeling so low when it's over or when I'm not getting it. I want to break the cycle and be genuinely happy with and of myself
I don't give a f* about men and everything about them. I am working on me for me to be strong, sexy, healthy, happy and mentally strong. The right man will find you ladies. You just do you❤
I watched few videos of yours and I found my self surprised when I noticed your channel is not that known. How can a woman so opinionated, kind and powerful as yourself not be so recognised worldwide? You deserve the world and you definitely made my day a lot better ❤
Thanks so much for this. I really needed to hear this. I haven't had the best luck with romantic relationships in this life. I've struggled with insecurities for many years- esp about how I look. My mind constantly tells me "if you looked a certain way, you'd probably have a great man by now." So untrue but this is the lie my mind tells me... I need to break out of this negative thought pattern.
its funny how differently everyone acts to please men. i get scared to put on dresses and heavier makeup because i get scared men will think i look "slutty" or not sweet enough for them or whatever. i think it really depends on where you grow up. 😕
I love this discussion, Many times in the past I have worn things for male validation when going out and every time I'm super uncomfortable and felt so judged. Not anymore, I'm dressing for me and no one else. Dressing for my pleasure, not anyone else's. Thanks for these great helpful videos.
Alessia love! This video is so intrinsically empathetic, loving, and beautiful. Your channel is so full of immensely helpful, little bundles of joy and warmth, thank you. :)) 🪷🪷
in acts of male validation in past i actually would have self defeating thoughts , second guess how i looked then take off makeup and getting frustrated w how i look and cry horribly because of it.. so for me in the past the patriarchy had actually wired my brain to make me believe that i was not attractive enough.. and thats my big discovery that thats not true at all and i am very attractive but now i get to ask myself okay but else? like how do i see myself living life orr what do i value the most ? and removing males from my life completely bc i have no.. interest in speaking to any until ive overcome male validation completely and have found my inner world my Atlantis my heaven within myself!! and its not a sad or lonely thing at all its actually very healing and reminiscent of the what ive been through
Thanks so much for this video. Would you be able to speak about feeling insecure within a relationship? E.g. putting all your worth in your appearance, and feeling like youre undeserving if you dont look perfect, even if youve got a supportive and loving partner!
im 18 in a relationship with a man who’s been nothing but amazing to me & im still struggling with male validation from strangers & thinking about how others look at MY relationship
i just discovered your channel and i love you so much. your energy and your aura and your voice is so soothing and calming and genuine and inspires trust. you are already helping me so much and I'm excited for the growth of your channel
i agree w like we shouldn’t be worrying too much ab what men think but what if i just wanna have sex appeal and i rlly wanna be attractive and beautiful to men like idc i personally wanna be attractive and worthy to men is that bad and something wrong w me? genuine question
It’s not an issue if you want to look good or take care of yourself, I just think the motivations behind such care should not always be men, but more your personal confidence in yourself, and just being happy taking care of your appearance… don’t worry too much about being worthy of men, bc your efforts will be more than enough for the right person
I think it’s healthier and more sustainable to learn that you’re inherently worthy. Your self esteem and worth cannot depend on men finding you attractive because there’s always going to be someone more attractive, and life happens, looks fade.
but aree there men out there who seek emotional deep connection and commitment w someone? im 20 and finding tht at my age seems hard cus i have to get to know them but im not interested in opening my heart rn cus the last one didn’t workout so well.. it was a situationship nd reality and what i thought we were got mixed up so bad like i def learned my lesson w that i wish him the best but ye slay
As a 26 year old, this is so important for teenagers to see. Don’t fall into this trap! You are valuable and worthy without male validation ❤
i am an 18 yr old girl/young woman and this is hitting me now harder than ever… I was a pretty ugly kid during middle school/high school and had a bunch of acne but now finally that i am kind of starting to look okay and ab to go to college, i find that i am more insecure than ever… My father, brother and grandfather all died when i was a kid(brother before i was even alive) so i never even got to have the completely platonic, family male validation. That led to me now being obssesed with what every man thinks of me to the point where i am more depressed and tired than ever… I felt like i was on the verge of a complete breakdown but this video and comments like yours frl mean a lot to people like me that are currently painfully insecure….😕❤️🙏
As a 16 year old girl that was always struggled with craving male attention ever since I was literally 13 years old it has completely made me lose myself and just go off the rails as soon as I don't get attention from a man or honestly women too. But watching your videos seriously help me a lot and makes me feel more worthy than this.
I'm so so glad the video has helped in some way. Thank you for sharing your story lovely ❤
Facts I’ve been obsessing over my looks since I was like in elementary school. It’s sad I wish I didn’t care so much about my physical appearance. saying to myself that I’m a beautiful energetic being makes me feel good
proud of you
I am proud of you.
For me, seeking male validation began wayyy back when I was just a kid. The boys at school either totally ignored me or were not nice to me, whilst I watched them be nice to the ‘pretty girls’. Pair that with growing up with an insecure mum, the indoctrination that all kinds of media brings (as you mentioned), and getting more attractive as I got older, it was a perfect recipe for genuinely believing my worth is rooted in my appearance and how much attention i get.
Now I am 28 and really trying to unlearn this behaviour. The journey is a spiral, it is not linear. Thank you so much for your videos, you are helping me on this journey more than you could ever know ❤️
Bless you lovely. Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are so worthy of love and appreciation. 💗💗💗💗
Thank you for this. I'm literally sitting here crying rn because I feel so trapped in this cycle of seeking that "high" from the validation, then feeling so low when it's over or when I'm not getting it. I want to break the cycle and be genuinely happy with and of myself
I am sending you the biggest hug my love. You are not alone. You have this RUclips community backing you xxxxxx
I don't give a f* about men and everything about them. I am working on me for me to be strong, sexy, healthy, happy and mentally strong. The right man will find you ladies. You just do you❤
Yes, queen ❤
I watched few videos of yours and I found my self surprised when I noticed your channel is not that known. How can a woman so opinionated, kind and powerful as yourself not be so recognised worldwide? You deserve the world and you definitely made my day a lot better ❤
Aw you have made my week with this comment. ❤ Thank you for believing in me lovely. I hope your kindness finds it way back to you. ❤❤
Other women RUclipsrs I’d highly recommend besides you and Hitomi are Leah’s Fieldnotes, Moya Mawhinney, Rowena Tsai, House of Highbrations
Ooooo thank you so so so much! I will check them all out! 😘
Thanks so much for this. I really needed to hear this. I haven't had the best luck with romantic relationships in this life. I've struggled with insecurities for many years- esp about how I look. My mind constantly tells me "if you looked a certain way, you'd probably have a great man by now." So untrue but this is the lie my mind tells me... I need to break out of this negative thought pattern.
its funny how differently everyone acts to please men. i get scared to put on dresses and heavier makeup because i get scared men will think i look "slutty" or not sweet enough for them or whatever. i think it really depends on where you grow up. 😕
I completely agree lovely. I hope you find a way to feel enough dressing how you want to dress. Sending you lots of love xx💘
Working in a very male dominated industry this was very refreshing. You articulate your thoughts beautifully. Thank you!
Aw thank you for commenting lovely 🥰💗❤️
You are such a pure heart 💗 listening to you makes me feel so safe and loved 🥰
aw that makes me so happy - you are so loved 💗💗💗💗
you have a really good energy❤️❤️❤️
aw thank you so much my love 💕💕
You’re so pure. Made me feel comfortable and not alone
You are not alone my lovely - you have me and this RUclips community! 💘💘💘💘💘💘
I love this discussion, Many times in the past I have worn things for male validation when going out and every time I'm super uncomfortable and felt so judged. Not anymore, I'm dressing for me and no one else. Dressing for my pleasure, not anyone else's. Thanks for these great helpful videos.
I love ur brain
Best compliment ever ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
thank you you're so lovely and the way you speak is so empathetic!♥
thank you so so much Shelly ❤❤❤❤ x
Alessia love! This video is so intrinsically empathetic, loving, and beautiful. Your channel is so full of immensely helpful, little bundles of joy and warmth, thank you. :)) 🪷🪷
Hey Sarah ! Thank you for reaching out and being so kind. You have made my morning. ❤❤❤❤❤❤
I loved it when you said « I want you to be yoursel everytime with everybody »
in acts of male validation in past i actually would have self defeating thoughts , second guess how i looked then take off makeup and getting frustrated w how i look and cry horribly because of it.. so for me in the past the patriarchy had actually wired my brain to make me believe that i was not attractive enough.. and thats my big discovery that thats not true at all and i am very attractive but now i get to ask myself okay but else? like how do i see myself living life orr what do i value the most ? and removing males from my life completely bc i have no.. interest in speaking to any until ive overcome male validation completely and have found my inner world my Atlantis my heaven within myself!! and its not a sad or lonely thing at all its actually very healing and reminiscent of the what ive been through
Thanks so much for this video. Would you be able to speak about feeling insecure within a relationship? E.g. putting all your worth in your appearance, and feeling like youre undeserving if you dont look perfect, even if youve got a supportive and loving partner!
Thank you for commenting! 🥰 I would love to film a video about that. I have added it to my list! Thank you so much for the recommendation lovely xxx
im 18 in a relationship with a man who’s been nothing but amazing to me & im still struggling with male validation from strangers & thinking about how others look at MY relationship
I totally get you my love. We can be in a loving relationship and still crave that external validation/appreciation. ❤
I have had problems and without realizing it was all because of seeking validation literally from everyone else
Thank You so much your words help me a lot ♥️
aw thank you for this lovely comment ! ❤❤❤❤ xx
i just discovered your channel and i love you so much. your energy and your aura and your voice is so soothing and calming and genuine and inspires trust. you are already helping me so much and I'm excited for the growth of your channel
Loved the video🤍
thank you lovely x❤❤
Thank you so much this video was so helpful ❤
Aw thank you my love for being so lovely xxx
Wonderful! Is there a book list? 😊
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i agree w like we shouldn’t be worrying too much ab what men think but what if i just wanna have sex appeal and i rlly wanna be attractive and beautiful to men like idc i personally wanna be attractive and worthy to men is that bad and something wrong w me? genuine question
well, if you're making that a everyday goal and activity than yes, it is a problem I'm not going to lie.
It’s not an issue if you want to look good or take care of yourself, I just think the motivations behind such care should not always be men, but more your personal confidence in yourself, and just being happy taking care of your appearance… don’t worry too much about being worthy of men, bc your efforts will be more than enough for the right person
@@louiseperrier2905 thats such a good answer thank you ur right i basically wanna look good and present myself well to everyone
I think it’s healthier and more sustainable to learn that you’re inherently worthy. Your self esteem and worth cannot depend on men finding you attractive because there’s always going to be someone more attractive, and life happens, looks fade.
but aree there men out there who seek emotional deep connection and commitment w someone? im 20 and finding tht at my age seems hard cus i have to get to know them but im not interested in opening my heart rn cus the last one didn’t workout so well.. it was a situationship nd reality and what i thought we were got mixed up so bad like i def learned my lesson w that i wish him the best but ye slay
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Are there books or podcasts anyone recommends that dive into this even further?
Women don’t owe you pretty is a great book🤩
Thank you@@alessiasutherberry! I commented this before finishing the video haha I'm checking out your other recommendations as well!
@@bykenwithkenforken 💖🤗
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