There is always a period of time for mourning of the death of love. Men seem to commit their love to someone. That commitment is a deep emotional part of him as a gift to that person. When that love ends, it's like a death that needs a period of mourning. Even when you know that the end of a relationship is better for you, it still takes time to get past it, even when you are happier.
i think some men, like myself had such a beautiful person as a mother, loosing them is the ultimate loss, my wife and no one will love me as much as that beautiful woman. i have just lost her. i love life and will continue until its end, I dont have room in my heart anymore for another bond of this magnitude. but it is okay.
A wise man once told me: The realities of romantic love is: for men, there are only 2 women that aren’t cunts. Your mother and your daughter. Is he right? 🤔
Logic is different from rationalisation which isn't concerned with the truth, so in fact they often if not usually conflict with most people. As most people aren't interested in the truth.
We are like method actors who initially know we’re playing a role but get caught up in the identity of the character we’re playing, in a script (written by the writer/creator) we had no part in writing.
@@GratefulZen I would add - that toxic people, dark triad, manipulators, psychopaths and sociopaths of all kinds - push us into emotional fusion. This needs to be said.
This is a message I really needed to hear today. I’m coming up on the two year anniversary of a stroke that has robbed me of my mobility and independence and wrestling with my emotions has become a constant task. There are times I wish I had not survived to be a burden to my family I know I should be grateful to still be on this side of the “dirt nap” that we all have coming, but in truth I feel so diminished. Thank you for a new strategy.
@@michelledee2586 I don’t really know for sure. I was vaccinated, but whether that was a cause or not is inconclusive. I was 57, and negotiating with a school to return to China and teach. If it had to happen I’m glad it didn’t happen there, or else I would for sure be dead. So instead of doing what I want, I do what I can. Instead of having a big life that meant traveling the world, I have an exceptionally small life.
It happened to my brother two years ago. A very bad stroke. I’m watching him recover, very slowly, but he now gets the maximum amount of pleasure from the small things. He is committed to the fight and he makes progress. He was 50.
I have been applying your techniques and wisdom for the past year and i have obtained results more effectively than many therapy sessions. My emotions and relationships are more in tune with my life and its goals. Thank you.
Wow, that’s so inspiring! It gives me hope to hear how much these techniques have helped you. I can’t wait to apply these lessons and work toward the same kind of growth in my life!
I see my emotions like a sea, sometimes calm and sometimes with giant waves. Emotional detachment for me is about surfing upon the waves, I try to ride them by maintaining control. The bigger the wave, the harder it is to not topple into the water. If you don't learn to surf or float, you will eventually drown in them. No-one can swim forever!
I would add -there is tsunami sometimes. We need to know that toxic people are tsunami - and we need radar and technology to pick up red flags to avoid earthquake prone areas in life.
This is quickly becoming my favorite channel. This is what MEN need. Practical examples as well as practical methods of implementing the changes moving forward
Thank you for putting your wisdom somewhere so accessible, I've slowly and carefully been implementing a lot of your tips in my life, and there has not been one negative outcome and found all the positive, it’s also allowed me to be more aware. Im only 18 but I couldn't thank you enough.
this is a really late comment but i just wanted to say that it makes me happy hearing you’re pretty young and seeing that you’re developing such a healthy mindset. im 24 and found content similiar to this around your age and i kind of felt isolated since no other guys around me discovered this stuff. not that the guys around me needed to be exposed to it, or maybe they were and i just didnt know, but you get the gist. anyways i just wanted to really say kudos to you man and good luck in life, im sure you’ll make it far🙌🏻
Very interesting topic. I am right now going through an unhappy phase of my life. And I was trying to completely shut myself down emotionally. I just realised I was wrong in doing so.
Your videos are helping save me and develope me as a man Im 33 and just lost my first girlfriend - my firsteverything 3 years gone but not for nothing I hope to become a better version of myself helped by your content and output on youtube Cheers from the UK
love video, just cant believe my wife left me after 18 years, she just left me. she doesnt even want to talk to me anymore. Ive tried everything possible to get her back, but nothing seems to work and I cant stop thinking about her Im frustrated I dont see my life with anyone else. Ive done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I cant I dont know why I'm saying this here, I really miss her and just cant stop thinking about her
Thank you so much! I just searched his name, and I found him, the reviews look amazing, and I m feeling hopeful now. I really believe I can get him back. I'm so happy to have found this.
To “love without emotional attachment” is just plain impossible. It would be a contradiction in terms! Instructions like these shouldn’t be taken literally. They’re like Zen koans-interesting thought experiments, but not realistic guidelines for everyday life.
Whenever I had emotional detachment.. I felt numb always.. when he gave that example about the cereal I couldn’t really relate, you feel like it’s pointless to even get cereal so you end up not even going to the store. Emotions give life reason, but they need to be kept under control like he said.. I believe the detachment from my emotions was a great lesson learned because now after I regained them with medication and healthy lifestyle, completely off medication for 2 years.. I go about life scanning my emotions and justifying them before anything.. because when I lived without them I made decisions based on the true value it would bring me. I may not feel better but I will certainly gain something out of it. Helped with quitting a job I hated ended up getting a huge raise to stay with less responsibilities.. since I had no fear I easily took action. So yeah that’s my 2 cents. I love this guy he has some excellent content👍🏾
emotional detachment: while accessing the information of your emotions, you don't cling to them. while feeling the emotions in your body, you have the ability to analyze and control them. you will learn to let things come and go without experiencing an uncontrollable roller-coaster of emotions. you will live more vividly and will feel deeply. emotional intelligence is the key factor for overall success, in any aspect of your life
I'm 63. Can you address more about my bracket? 50+ divorced women present 50+ challenges... The motivation for physical intimacy is not less but very different. Kurt
Thank you. This *does* reflect my experience, and my conclusions. For (blah-blah-blah) reasons, I've spent much of my life suppressing too many emotions, and wondering why I even have to deal with the pesky things. I view emotions as chemical reactions in the brain which occur in response to stimuli, but they can and should be held apart from conscious thought. "Listen to your gut," means your gut is telling that something is wrong (or right) but it can't tell you what is wrong, or why. That is for your conscious (and/or subconscious) mind to figure out using the most logical criteria possible. Deciding how to act in response to the stimuli, is also the responsibility of your conscious mind. I'm now learning to feel, understand, and express my emotions, and I've realized that they have no inherent meaning. The only meaning (as opposed to purpose) they have, is the meaning I give them. As I explore them, I try to focus on the specific events or people attached to them in my past experiences. Sometimes I find very clear memories associated with an emotion, but more often I find past emotions associated with only vague mental images. I think what this means, is that the "meaning" of each my emotions evolves over the years of experiences and stimuli. The only objective aspect of them is their physiology, so I need to learn to let go of my need to find objective meaning within them. I need to learn to *acknowledge* my gut, while using my objective experiences to decide how to respond to whatever it tells me. I guess that's the "middle ground," and I probably need to learn to trust the judgement I've developed through experience. Sorry for rambling...
Agree, very insightful. I have come to very similar conclusions through my journey through Bhuddism. To function as an Intensive Care Physician, emotional detachment was a survival skill. This didn't mean I did not feel compassion, empathy and sympathy for my patients and their families, quite the opposite, but it meant that if I got too tied up in peoples grief, I would be unable to have anything left in the tank for my family (and myself). When patients left ICU whether to the ward or the morgue, I was able to see that as a door closing on what frequently had been an episode of intense caring. It also meant I was able to move to benign (or benevolent) indifference towards previous too frequently unhealthy relationships. I grew up in a family whereby the dominant permissible male emotion was righteous anger. Now my thoughts words and actions are better aligned with my core self, which is one that basically wants to end suffering.
Amazing message. I would add that narcissistic abuse, mobbing, lack of money, lack of shelter, lack of security, ACE and ACoA - mess this attachment process up big time. First of all - people went through long term harassments - probably since childhood have learned and been programmed to be emotional fusion. So this information about Emotional Detachment is like talking space technology to cavemen - it will sound futuristic and unreal and miss many components needed to know what has been said. This means - many people will confuse emotional detachment with dissociation or as you call it emotional amputation - so it is great that you made clear distinction - as I see in the comments here - people are already mixing up dissociation with emotional detachment. My point is - when we actually do emotionally detach - if we have toxic people around us - they will attack us for it. Toxic people like us to be scared and hypervigilant and that we emotionally respond to their abuse. This needs to be said.
You can still connect even when emotionally detached, however, this requires a stronger control of one’s emotions. Not easy but attainable. I’m working on it as we speak.
Thanks! So wise. I have studied the Buddhist teachings on letting go. It does take a strong self-discipline to be aware when those emotions well up, but possible with practice, like you say. Thank you for your messages. I listen and share your videos. You have an amazing mind!! I love listening to you because of your incredible intelligence and your ability to convey your thoughts so effectively.
Really insightful. This is something I have struggled with most of my adult life. I’ve tried to observe my thoughts and emotions almost as a third (second?) party observer would, and while I think that has kept me out of a lot of trouble and harmful relationships and situations, I also wonder if I haven’t played it too safe, crossing over into “avoidance” territory, missing out on opportunities and relationships and adventures. As Dr. Taraban notes, it is a balance. Great video.
Hi Orion, I just wanted to say thank you for your consistently well-thought contributions to the public discourse. Achieving such a high level of quality with such consistency is very impressive and quite helpful.
May I say … to detach emotions practically comes with experiences… as older you get and as much you have hurtful experiencing you will become an expert of emotional detachment person….. for someone is experiencing painful situations right now and going through the same pattern in life at some point you will learn how to detach. That very point that you would feel most pain that you have never experienced and the suffering you have never seen that very point you will understand how to detach things and feelings….. life is supposed to be chaos without chaos you are not alive,,,,, thank you for sharing good video
That's very interesting. Emotions are almost like a motor to get you to move through life and make decisions. You don't always need to go along with them
I’ve watch so many of your lessons and this one is the most enlightening one and put into words the practice of that I stumbled on a couple years ago. It’s always a daily battle and practice but the moments of being still in the moments of chaos around me, remind me in that moment the absolute value in that still awareness. Keep on keeping on Doc, thanks for the wisdom.
Very buddhist concept, observing the emotions and drawing wisdom from them yet not attaching to them and understanding they aren’t exclusive to you. Thanks for another great episode
For a couple of seconds I almost let loose today. Ive been working a lot. I bought a new TV and I was selling my old one for super cheap. People are so annoying. They wanted it even cheaper. I almost picked it up and smashed it in front of the guy. Smashing it was flashing my mind and the energy was jolting down my veins but I stopped it. The guy bought the TV and even sent an email thanking me.
You're lost. You're very emotional. When selling used stuff ANYTHING YOU GET ABOVE $0.00 IS A WIN..don't benchmark against what you bought it .. benchmark against what you would get if you take it to goodwill or thrash it .and that's $0.00
@@zuibeckpulezon4626 LoL yeah, I get that but the stupid TV was taking me away from work that pays more so I was becoming angry that my time was wasted dealing with f tard.
I always give EBay price. If you are confident enough in your negotiation & willing to leave you should be fine. I’m terrible at deal making, much less under stress from work. Tv sucks tho should have smashed it on principle.
Thanks Orion, your episodes always get to me when I'm trying to figure out things that happen to me. I'm apparently seem to be quite emotional detached to ex girlfriend according to her as I always remain calmed when we were basically talking about breaking up in multiple occasions or when we're not on the same page. Inside I felt the emotions and fear circulating my body but I managed to control quite well this in many aspects of life. Sometimes I wonder If I'm too emotional detached from people and if this is something that will hit me hard in the future, but as you said, everything will be taken from us or will move on as some point, try to enjoy in the present... This video really helped feel better about these wonders of mine❤
Wow! You just convince me to be more emotional detached and also appreciate others that are more distant of their own emotions without seeing them like ETs. Thank you very much. Greetings from Brazil
Wow! Priceless! Dr. Orion Taraban yet again with the "Bars!". Much appreciation for sharing your insights. Thank you yet again for another invaluable gem 💎. I can't wait for your book. I will be definitely purchasing immediately.
This video turned out to described my decision making on a daily basis. I didnt know what being emotionally detached was so I believe I metaphorically cut a piece of me away as far as my emotions. I fail to realize how its caused me to make decisions so slowly though. I thought it would lessen the time involved.
This man knows what he’s talking about. I am so thankful for how much clarity this wonderfully articulated piece just brought into my life. You are one of my favorite artists and craftsmen.
Recent "tip" is a small token of the value I received from the trilogy of "how to get any man" series. These are THE most valuable and concise guidance on what a man on his own program looks for from his partner. THANK YOU!
I'll tell you this for free, for a month or two now i have been listening to the great Alan Watts for wisdom on detachment and letting go, i couldnt wrap my head around what to do still. But listening to this man's one video right here gives me everything ive ever needed to know about really just detaching from my emotions and being a more stoic man. God bless you Orion, remain on your throne king 🙏🏽
There was a time in my life when i had to learn to turn my emotions off just to get through the day, and i never learned how to turn them back on because of how much i depended on that skill. It's definitely a struggle to find peace when you're trying to learn how to feel again.
The Hindu scripture Bhagavad Gita talks about emotional detachment. Krishna teaches in the Gita (Chapter 2, Verse 47): "You have the right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions. Never consider yourself the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty."
Incredibly important to recognize emotions as information to how one understands reality, but then to realize that's as far as they go. They are based on understandings and interpretations which gives one fuel for self work and decision making. Not to be induced in shame or believed as truth.
Thank you. I am starting to learn to not be so emotionally attached to people or things tgat I love. And you are right... to hold it gently is better. And to think about what the emotional part will do to your reasoning❤
I experience detachment after inducing psychosis for 2 years after my diagnosis and now my emotions dont control my actions as I only sense others emotion not my own. 👌
I’m happy to notice that I have some psyhacks in me I use to tell people to split E-Motion to understand the deep meaning behind Energy in Motion Huge amount of informations That is helpful when we train to channel it instead of being bullied by it Thank you it’s insightful
We often confuse the feeling experienced in the body in the now with the psychological emotion experienced in the mind, both in the past or in the future. Feelings which are temporary vs. Emotions which are lingering. The goal is to experience the your Feelings, to be mindful of them in order to release them from the body in order for other Feelings to arise, but not to hold on to them or deny them from entry in which case they become psychological Emotions and a story about your identity (the anchor of which your Ego is restrained to) Acceptance = Love : all my feelings are welcome at the dinner party, the trick is , once accepted the "more negative" ones tend to get quite down and you get to enjoy the "positive" ones. If you don't accept your negative feelings , what happens is they begin to knock on the door of your house louder and Louder draining you from attention and energy to enjoy your life.
Some people feel anxious and find decisions very difficult. They find it hard to access an emotional component to help them with decisions and frequently say I don’t know when asked. I see this with a loved one who is autistic. Other times they are so bombarded by life they move into the emotion of expressing anger. Other people who had a very difficult childhood where they were ignored or ridiculed find emotions difficult in adulthood.
I’d really like to say thank you for making this video. I have been struggling to understand this topic. I now know, i am swimming but i am not the body of water. 🌊 Merry Christmas to you and to everyone who sees this 🎄
Bob proctor talks about something like this. I think it’s called a paradigm shift. Where everything starts from a thought, then expressed as emotions, and actions are demonstrations of what emotions we were feeling. Upside-down, Inside- Out.
There is always a period of time for mourning of the death of love. Men seem to commit their love to someone. That commitment is a deep emotional part of him as a gift to that person. When that love ends, it's like a death that needs a period of mourning. Even when you know that the end of a relationship is better for you, it still takes time to get past it, even when you are happier.
i think some men, like myself had such a beautiful person as a mother, loosing them is the ultimate loss, my wife and no one will love me as much as that beautiful woman. i have just lost her. i love life and will continue until its end, I dont have room in my heart anymore for another bond of this magnitude. but it is okay.
A wise man once told me: The realities of romantic love is: for men, there are only 2 women that aren’t cunts. Your mother and your daughter.
Is he right? 🤔
@@neomacchio4692Sorry - My mum was a C.
Lol.. Something tells me “cold” and stoic Scandinavian people will probably understand your message better than passionate Latin people;-).
Stoics were great . Sound like you know what they taught .
People use emotions to make decisions and use logic to rationalize their choices.
Thank you Dr. Orion for this valuable reminder.
Insightful!
Correction women (not men) use emotions to make decisions and use logic to rationalize their choices.
@@doggychops7304Generally, everyone does that with everything.
@@doggychops7304men also
Logic is different from rationalisation which isn't concerned with the truth, so in fact they often if not usually conflict with most people. As most people aren't interested in the truth.
I'm not a THING, I'm a PROCESS. That's the most important revelation I've ever had.
I like the concept “We don’t just have a body, we are somebody”. -Stanley Milgram
Be an observer of your emotion. Understand why it feels hurt or happy. Do not sway away of it and do not reject it. Understand it.
We are like method actors who initially know we’re playing a role but get caught up in the identity of the character we’re playing, in a script (written by the writer/creator) we had no part in writing.
@@GratefulZen I would add - that toxic people, dark triad, manipulators, psychopaths and sociopaths of all kinds - push us into emotional fusion. This needs to be said.
Mmmmmmmm
This is a message I really needed to hear today. I’m coming up on the two year anniversary of a stroke that has robbed me of my mobility and independence and wrestling with my emotions has become a constant task.
There are times I wish I had not survived to be a burden to my family I know I should be grateful to still be on this side of the “dirt nap” that we all have coming, but in truth I feel so diminished.
Thank you for a new strategy.
Hope there are better times to call brother just know you are loved stay strong love from
houston!
Was it from the vax? You are not alone many people got injured.
@@michelledee2586 I don’t really know for sure. I was vaccinated, but whether that was a cause or not is inconclusive.
I was 57, and negotiating with a school to return to China and teach. If it had to happen I’m glad it didn’t happen there, or else I would for sure be dead.
So instead of doing what I want, I do what I can.
Instead of having a big life that meant traveling the world, I have an exceptionally small life.
It happened to my brother two years ago. A very bad stroke. I’m watching him recover, very slowly, but he now gets the maximum amount of pleasure from the small things. He is committed to the fight and he makes progress. He was 50.
@@leviathon2 please wish your brother well for me.
I have been applying your techniques and wisdom for the past year and i have obtained results more effectively than many therapy sessions. My emotions and relationships are more in tune with my life and its goals.
Thank you.
Same. This might be the most helpful channel I've found on RUclips for personal growth. It's been helping me immensely.
Wow, that’s so inspiring! It gives me hope to hear how much these techniques have helped you. I can’t wait to apply these lessons and work toward the same kind of growth in my life!
@@thefranticteacher2507 where should I start on this channel to really help become detached?
Feeling the heat from the fire, rather than being on fire.
I see my emotions like a sea, sometimes calm and sometimes with giant waves. Emotional detachment for me is about surfing upon the waves, I try to ride them by maintaining control. The bigger the wave, the harder it is to not topple into the water. If you don't learn to surf or float, you will eventually drown in them. No-one can swim forever!
I would add -there is tsunami sometimes.
We need to know that toxic people are tsunami - and we need radar and technology to pick up red flags to avoid earthquake prone areas in life.
Like it 👍
Much appreciated that there is no background music. Good video, thank you.
Yes!! I cannot stand background music.
@@Onnitfan1 So.. you are emotionally fused with background music.
Man this guy blew up fast in the last 12 months, subbed when he was under 10k. Good stuff 💯
He is the wisest I ever heard
This is quickly becoming my favorite channel. This is what MEN need. Practical examples as well as practical methods of implementing the changes moving forward
Subscribed immediately.
Thank you for putting your wisdom somewhere so accessible, I've slowly and carefully been implementing a lot of your tips in my life, and there has not been one negative outcome and found all the positive, it’s also allowed me to be more aware. Im only 18 but I couldn't thank you enough.
this is a really late comment but i just wanted to say that it makes me happy hearing you’re pretty young and seeing that you’re developing such a healthy mindset. im 24 and found content similiar to this around your age and i kind of felt isolated since no other guys around me discovered this stuff. not that the guys around me needed to be exposed to it, or maybe they were and i just didnt know, but you get the gist.
anyways i just wanted to really say kudos to you man and good luck in life, im sure you’ll make it far🙌🏻
Very interesting topic. I am right now going through an unhappy phase of my life. And I was trying to completely shut myself down emotionally. I just realised I was wrong in doing so.
Your videos are helping save me and develope me as a man
Im 33 and just lost my first girlfriend - my firsteverything
3 years gone but not for nothing
I hope to become a better version of myself helped by your content and output on youtube
Cheers from the UK
Interesting. I'd never considered before that emotions HELP you make decisions. I always felt they got in the way of thinking logically.
Yin Yang.
We need logic and heart to be complete.
love video, just cant believe my wife left me after 18 years, she just left me. she doesnt even want to talk to me anymore. Ive tried everything possible to get her back, but nothing seems to work and I cant stop thinking about her Im frustrated I dont see my life with anyone else. Ive done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I cant I dont know why I'm saying this here, I really miss her and just cant stop thinking about her
A spiritual adviser, that sounds interesting. What did you do? How can I get in contact with him.?
Thank you so much! I just searched his name, and I found him, the reviews look amazing, and I m feeling hopeful now. I really believe I can get him back. I'm so happy to have found this.
Thanks for this, Dr. Tarban! it really clicked for me. Especially after your talk on "how to LOVE WITHOUT emotional ATTACHMENT". 👍
To “love without emotional attachment” is just plain impossible. It would be a contradiction in terms!
Instructions like these shouldn’t be taken literally. They’re like Zen koans-interesting thought experiments, but not realistic guidelines for everyday life.
@@terry9238Love is more than emotion. In fact emotion is the least of it, really.
Whenever I had emotional detachment.. I felt numb always.. when he gave that example about the cereal I couldn’t really relate, you feel like it’s pointless to even get cereal so you end up not even going to the store. Emotions give life reason, but they need to be kept under control like he said.. I believe the detachment from my emotions was a great lesson learned because now after I regained them with medication and healthy lifestyle, completely off medication for 2 years.. I go about life scanning my emotions and justifying them before anything.. because when I lived without them I made decisions based on the true value it would bring me. I may not feel better but I will certainly gain something out of it. Helped with quitting a job I hated ended up getting a huge raise to stay with less responsibilities.. since I had no fear I easily took action. So yeah that’s my 2 cents. I love this guy he has some excellent content👍🏾
emotional detachment: while accessing the information of your emotions, you don't cling to them. while feeling the emotions in your body, you have the ability to analyze and control them. you will learn to let things come and go without experiencing an uncontrollable roller-coaster of emotions. you will live more vividly and will feel deeply. emotional intelligence is the key factor for overall success, in any aspect of your life
I'm 63. Can you address more about my bracket? 50+ divorced women present 50+ challenges... The motivation for physical intimacy is not less but very different. Kurt
Thank you. This *does* reflect my experience, and my conclusions. For (blah-blah-blah) reasons, I've spent much of my life suppressing too many emotions, and wondering why I even have to deal with the pesky things. I view emotions as chemical reactions in the brain which occur in response to stimuli, but they can and should be held apart from conscious thought. "Listen to your gut," means your gut is telling that something is wrong (or right) but it can't tell you what is wrong, or why. That is for your conscious (and/or subconscious) mind to figure out using the most logical criteria possible. Deciding how to act in response to the stimuli, is also the responsibility of your conscious mind.
I'm now learning to feel, understand, and express my emotions, and I've realized that they have no inherent meaning. The only meaning (as opposed to purpose) they have, is the meaning I give them. As I explore them, I try to focus on the specific events or people attached to them in my past experiences. Sometimes I find very clear memories associated with an emotion, but more often I find past emotions associated with only vague mental images. I think what this means, is that the "meaning" of each my emotions evolves over the years of experiences and stimuli. The only objective aspect of them is their physiology, so I need to learn to let go of my need to find objective meaning within them. I need to learn to *acknowledge* my gut, while using my objective experiences to decide how to respond to whatever it tells me. I guess that's the "middle ground," and I probably need to learn to trust the judgement I've developed through experience. Sorry for rambling...
Agree, very insightful. I have come to very similar conclusions through my journey through Bhuddism. To function as an Intensive Care Physician, emotional detachment was a survival skill. This didn't mean I did not feel compassion, empathy and sympathy for my patients and their families, quite the opposite, but it meant that if I got too tied up in peoples grief, I would be unable to have anything left in the tank for my family (and myself). When patients left ICU whether to the ward or the morgue, I was able to see that as a door closing on what frequently had been an episode of intense caring.
It also meant I was able to move to benign (or benevolent) indifference towards previous too frequently unhealthy relationships. I grew up in a family whereby the dominant permissible male emotion was righteous anger. Now my thoughts words and actions are better aligned with my core self, which is one that basically wants to end suffering.
Amazing message.
I would add that narcissistic abuse, mobbing, lack of money, lack of shelter, lack of security, ACE and ACoA - mess this attachment process up big time.
First of all - people went through long term harassments - probably since childhood have learned and been programmed to be emotional fusion. So this information about Emotional Detachment is like talking space technology to cavemen - it will sound futuristic and unreal and miss many components needed to know what has been said.
This means - many people will confuse emotional detachment with dissociation or as you call it emotional amputation - so it is great that you made clear distinction - as I see in the comments here - people are already mixing up dissociation with emotional detachment.
My point is - when we actually do emotionally detach - if we have toxic people around us - they will attack us for it.
Toxic people like us to be scared and hypervigilant and that we emotionally respond to their abuse. This needs to be said.
You can still connect even when emotionally detached, however, this requires a stronger control of one’s emotions. Not easy but attainable. I’m working on it as we speak.
I have been binging your videos. Pure gold back to back.
Thanks! So wise. I have studied the Buddhist teachings on letting go. It does take a strong self-discipline to be aware when those emotions well up, but possible with practice, like you say. Thank you for your messages. I listen and share your videos. You have an amazing mind!! I love listening to you because of your incredible intelligence and your ability to convey your thoughts so effectively.
This was an exceptionally helpful, more detailed description of loving without emotional attachment. Thank you as always Doc.
Thanks! Great words. Now to cling to them until they are autonomic.
I really appreciate your work and professionalism in your channel.
Really insightful. This is something I have struggled with most of my adult life. I’ve tried to observe my thoughts and emotions almost as a third (second?) party observer would, and while I think that has kept me out of a lot of trouble and harmful relationships and situations, I also wonder if I haven’t played it too safe, crossing over into “avoidance” territory, missing out on opportunities and relationships and adventures. As Dr. Taraban notes, it is a balance. Great video.
Striking a balance is hard.
@@MKULTRA_Victim_this is the goal that needs much tenacity.
Finally someone addresses what true emotional maturity is. not emotional fushion like a kid, but also not like a toxic jack in the box. Thank you
Hi Orion, I just wanted to say thank you for your consistently well-thought contributions to the public discourse. Achieving such a high level of quality with such consistency is very impressive and quite helpful.
May I say … to detach emotions practically comes with experiences… as older you get and as much you have hurtful experiencing you will become an expert of emotional detachment person….. for someone is experiencing painful situations right now and going through the same pattern in life at some point you will learn how to detach. That very point that you would feel most pain that you have never experienced and the suffering you have never seen that very point you will understand how to detach things and feelings…..
life is supposed to be chaos without chaos you are not alive,,,,, thank you for sharing good video
This was one of my favorites yet. Beautiful way to convey this intersecting wisdom from a deep understanding of Buddhism + psychology.
That's very interesting. Emotions are almost like a motor to get you to move through life and make decisions. You don't always need to go along with them
I’ve watch so many of your lessons and this one is the most enlightening one and put into words the practice of that I stumbled on a couple years ago. It’s always a daily battle and practice but the moments of being still in the moments of chaos around me, remind me in that moment the absolute value in that still awareness. Keep on keeping on Doc, thanks for the wisdom.
Very buddhist concept, observing the emotions and drawing wisdom from them yet not attaching to them and understanding they aren’t exclusive to you. Thanks for another great episode
For a couple of seconds I almost let loose today. Ive been working a lot.
I bought a new TV and I was selling my old one for super cheap. People are so annoying. They wanted it even cheaper. I almost picked it up and smashed it in front of the guy. Smashing it was flashing my mind and the energy was jolting down my veins but I stopped it.
The guy bought the TV and even sent an email thanking me.
No matter how good a deal is, lots of people will still try to Jew you down. That’d just the way it is.
You're lost. You're very emotional. When selling used stuff ANYTHING YOU GET ABOVE $0.00 IS A WIN..don't benchmark against what you bought it .. benchmark against what you would get if you take it to goodwill or thrash it .and that's $0.00
@@zuibeckpulezon4626 LoL yeah, I get that but the stupid TV was taking me away from work that pays more so I was becoming angry that my time was wasted dealing with f tard.
I always give EBay price. If you are confident enough in your negotiation & willing to leave you should be fine. I’m terrible at deal making, much less under stress from work.
Tv sucks tho should have smashed it on principle.
People who buy second hand TV do not have money - probably do not have money for food all through the week. Keep that in mind, too.
Thanks Orion, your episodes always get to me when I'm trying to figure out things that happen to me. I'm apparently seem to be quite emotional detached to ex girlfriend according to her as I always remain calmed when we were basically talking about breaking up in multiple occasions or when we're not on the same page. Inside I felt the emotions and fear circulating my body but I managed to control quite well this in many aspects of life.
Sometimes I wonder If I'm too emotional detached from people and if this is something that will hit me hard in the future, but as you said, everything will be taken from us or will move on as some point, try to enjoy in the present...
This video really helped feel better about these wonders of mine❤
Your video explained a lot to me!
Wow! You just convince me to be more emotional detached and also appreciate others that are more distant of their own emotions without seeing them like ETs. Thank you very much. Greetings from Brazil
This is so true. Since I retired and being financially secure, I have time to help a lot of people. Including volunteer work.
A most excellent description of emotional detachment and the role emotions play in decision-making. Thank you.
Wow! Priceless! Dr. Orion Taraban yet again with the "Bars!". Much appreciation for sharing your insights. Thank you yet again for another invaluable gem 💎. I can't wait for your book. I will be definitely purchasing immediately.
This video turned out to described my decision making on a daily basis. I didnt know what being emotionally detached was so I believe I metaphorically cut a piece of me away as far as my emotions. I fail to realize how its caused me to make decisions so slowly though. I thought it would lessen the time involved.
Same thing with me. Good comment.
Thank you Dr. Watched many of your videos, learned a lot of organized, straight-to-the-point, practical insights from you. Appreciate you a lot.
Emotional detachment is definitely a skill I want to cultivate. Thanks.
What you're describing is stoicism.
Emotional detachment disorder is something people like myself actually struggle with.
Letting Go by Dr. Hawkins, great read in regards to surrender and emotional detachment
Perfectly explained,hard lesson to learn and transition to....especially late in life.Never too late to learn it
Thank you for clarifying this.
This man knows what he’s talking about. I am so thankful for how much clarity this wonderfully articulated piece just brought into my life. You are one of my favorite artists and craftsmen.
Thanks for clarifying
Recent "tip" is a small token of the value I received from the trilogy of "how to get any man" series. These are THE most valuable and concise guidance on what a man on his own program looks for from his partner. THANK YOU!
Love your content man.
The best explanation on Detatchment I’ve come across. Excellent video 👌.
i like your genuineness of speaking truth.
I'll tell you this for free, for a month or two now i have been listening to the great Alan Watts for wisdom on detachment and letting go, i couldnt wrap my head around what to do still. But listening to this man's one video right here gives me everything ive ever needed to know about really just detaching from my emotions and being a more stoic man. God bless you Orion, remain on your throne king 🙏🏽
There was a time in my life when i had to learn to turn my emotions off just to get through the day, and i never learned how to turn them back on because of how much i depended on that skill. It's definitely a struggle to find peace when you're trying to learn how to feel again.
Exactly, good comment!
Thanks!
You dropped some heavy gems in this one. Thank you for this. It's a perpetually relevant message for people to hear
A great video and reminder. Thanks plenty Dr. Taraban!
Thanks!
Thanks!
Really insightful follow-up! Emotions as heuristics is really good.
The Hindu scripture Bhagavad Gita talks about emotional detachment.
Krishna teaches in the Gita (Chapter 2, Verse 47): "You have the right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions. Never consider yourself the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty."
This video got me started on a journey that changed my life. Thank you.
Good stuff brother!
Incredibly important to recognize emotions as information to how one understands reality, but then to realize that's as far as they go. They are based on understandings and interpretations which gives one fuel for self work and decision making. Not to be induced in shame or believed as truth.
多謝！
Danke!
Thank you. I am starting to learn to not be so emotionally attached to people or things tgat I love. And you are right... to hold it gently is better. And to think about what the emotional part will do to your reasoning❤
👍 ❤Probably one of your most important videos because it’s practice can be used in any situation: family, career, love, heath care etc.
I really liked the analogy of swimming on your emotions… you are a being on the ocean of emotions, not an ocean of emotions inside a being
I experience detachment after inducing psychosis for 2 years after my diagnosis and now my emotions dont control my actions as I only sense others emotion not my own. 👌
I’m happy to notice that I have some psyhacks in me I use to tell people to split E-Motion to understand the deep meaning behind
Energy in Motion
Huge amount of informations
That is helpful when we train to channel it instead of being bullied by it
Thank you it’s insightful
You approach such a sensitive topic sooooooo well! The swimming analogy is perfect!
this talk has been an epic understanding thank you.
Wow such well balanced and non-trivial information! Thank you for your work!
This is absolutely the advice men of today need to hear. 🔥🙌
That was really good- i enjoy hearing your perspective on eastern philosophy
We often confuse the feeling experienced in the body in the now with the psychological emotion experienced in the mind, both in the past or in the future.
Feelings which are temporary vs. Emotions which are lingering.
The goal is to experience the your Feelings, to be mindful of them in order to release them from the body in order for other Feelings to arise, but not to hold on to them or deny them from entry in which case they become psychological Emotions and a story about your identity (the anchor of which your Ego is restrained to)
Acceptance = Love : all my feelings are welcome at the dinner party, the trick is , once accepted the "more negative" ones tend to get quite down and you get to enjoy the "positive" ones.
If you don't accept your negative feelings , what happens is they begin to knock on the door of your house louder and Louder draining you from attention and energy to enjoy your life.
I love and appreciate his way of explaining things!
A very insightful episode , thanks Dr. Taraban 👌🏻😊
I have to listen to this lesson again.
Love the perspective, excellent, well spoke.
Some people feel anxious and find decisions very difficult. They find it hard to access an emotional component to help them with decisions and frequently say I don’t know when asked. I see this with a loved one who is autistic. Other times they are so bombarded by life they move into the emotion of expressing anger. Other people who had a very difficult childhood where they were ignored or ridiculed find emotions difficult in adulthood.
Glad there is an update.
Wow that sand analogy is mind-blowing
Beautifully said❤ you’re like a philosopher psychologist
You are The Master applauded
I’d really like to say thank you for making this video. I have been struggling to understand this topic. I now know, i am swimming but i am not the body of water. 🌊
Merry Christmas to you and to everyone who sees this 🎄
Wisdom. Thanks again.
Bob proctor talks about something like this. I think it’s called a paradigm shift. Where everything starts from a thought, then expressed as emotions, and actions are demonstrations of what emotions we were feeling. Upside-down, Inside- Out.
Thank you Dr. Orion for sharing this valuable information
Your wisdom is very helpful as always. Thanks Doc!
Dr. Orion’s back to shed some wisdom.
Outstanding! Thanks Doc and God bless you! 👏
Life is change. Always. But. The things and people that improve our lives are worth holding onto.
You may have just changed my life. Thanks
I just want to say thank you for this video is my first time on your channel a friend sent me this video and it spoke to me thank you sir.......
Practicing emotional detachment is a skill that needs constant practice, but in the end, it's a sanity saver.