Why it's Actually Valuable to be Detached
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- Опубликовано: 24 июл 2024
- In this video, we'll delve into the nuanced relationship between these elements, focusing on the often-overlooked benefits of detachment in various aspects of life.
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Detachment, often associated with apathy, can possess surprising benefits when understood and applied appropriately. We'll explore how detachment, when approached mindfully, can foster a sense of mental clarity, emotional resilience, and even aid in finding a balanced perspective in different situations.
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▼ Timestamps ▼
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1:15 The value of detachment
2:25 How we motivate ourselves
4:00 Loneliness & anxiety
6:50 Detaching from yourself
10:45 What is social anxiety?
11:30 Why do you hate work?
13:40 What life would be like without resistance
14:40 Cultivating detachment
18:45 Creating awareness
20:30 Your reaction to this video
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#healthygamergg #lifeadvice #detachment
Sometimes just pausing to think "why don't I want to do this" and realizing "oh, it's entirely my social anxiety" is a great motivator to go "well rationally there's nothing but my own ego holding my back, so screw it - time to commit and do this!"
i think you're on the right path. self realization is the key in "solving" your struggles.
Yes I'm like that.
As soon as I realise I'm hesitant to do something because of 'fear' but there's no actual danger involved, then I will immediately do it exactly because of that.
Or you realize that it's just not your thing, and try to look for something you actually want instead
@@iluxa-4000 that's what social anxiety wants you to think.
Thats an amazing thought I love that
Inshort: Don't kill the part of you that is cringe, kill the part of you that cringes.
What if the part of you that cringes is also the part itself that wants to kill 🤔
I feel like the movie Everything Everywhere All At Once does a great job of showing just how little what other people think of you, actually matters. How few things in life legitimately matter, except a few very core things. And if you let go of all the busyness in your head, you can allow yourself to enjoy life, and you can feel lighter and more satisfied.
Lmao
@@slamkam07 lol
This movie did absolutely nothing for me, it felt like a load of crap to be honest. I don't get how basically everyone else loved it and found it helpful. I don't get it lol
@@Vivivofi It wasn't 'helpful'- it was entertaining, at least to me.
@@Vivivofi Hmm I guess it just depends on perspective. That movie did a great job at zooming out and showing the bigger picture when it comes to what we tie to our self-worth, family, and life path. I personally think it put in perspective how little the day to day things matter in the scope of the larger things that make life meaningful, like how you treat other people and how you see yourself in spite of external factors like your job, financial situation, success, etc.
Thank you! Everyone always says I’m unmotivated, apathetic, detached, etc. but it’s actually the opposite I care way too much about things that aren’t even worth thinking about. But it isn’t just a simple decision to cap valuing something, you need to actually think about why you value it and why valuing something is holding you back and if it actually matters.
This is literally me 😭
there’s nothing wrong with you buddy. having the skill to ignor and not think about things that cause anxiety is very useful. most people will continue stressing and thinking about a problem even if the thoughts are completely unproductive. to be able to ignore the unproductive stress and focus on what’s important is great. keep working on yourself and one day we’ll all make it!
Yeah, to be honest the hardest part about detaching myself is other people thinking I'm apathetic. Honestly, most of the time I don't really care about what other people think, but it's hard to count how many times my wife started an argument with me because she thought I didn't care about anything. As an example, I'm content with my life, I don't need to buy stuff and want stuff to fill some void in my heart. But she used to think the reason I would be fine with any gift she bought me was because I don't care about anything. No, I'm just happy with how things are, I don't miss things I don't have ;-; that doesn't mean I won't use or won't like anything else I get
@@SirZelean Damn, that sucks. I hope she realizes what you're feeling and doesn't create unbased reasons for it.
Doesn't sound like a comment made from watching the video but reading the title 🤨
We appreciate your effort and hard work on this channel. Bless you.
Literally, watch everyday. Thank you
let's appreciate the effort he puts inside us
I appreciate your amogus pfp
@@MilkerTony *come* again?
"When we detach, we are actually moving away from ourselves and towards the world". Brilliantly said. Excellent video as always Dr K.
I always thought I'm just detached and this video shown me that I'm actually apathetic, and that's why I'm stuck in life
That’s not true though when you detach you are moving away from the world.
@@Darkloid21 sounds like you didn't watch the video to me.
@@icecreampaintjob1697 I did that’s how I know he was wrong about it. The yogi’s moved away from the world with detachment, not towards it. A lot of eastern wisdom is about moving away from worldly affairs, hence the monasteries and stuff.
How could he get such a basic fact about detachment so wrong.
@@Darkloid21 I think the point he's trying to make is that we should detach from our ego and ourselves to be more present and aware, and not be held back by our automatic thoughts about the world. Not to escape the actual world, and when we detach from ourselves we begin to filter out the world in general because we no longer have an ego holding us back that locks us into how we're supposed to be, which can be very limiting and scary.
That's how I interpreted it.
just had a therapy session about this very topic, and my therapist suggested the same thing! He said I should notice the things that excite me (motivate me) and notice the barriers to action (resistances). He didn't put it in "detachment" terms, but it's similar enough for me to be impressed that they both have the same answer.
If I may ask, what style of therapy is it?
Hey, now you have one (more) reason to rest assured that you have a good therapist!
What if others excite me? This is my problem. I feel like the only thing that makes fun for me is other people. Im not interested in things in particular. Im interested on what impression the thing i do delivers to others. Do you know what i mean?
@@poohdini2392 Do you practice any performing arts? Sounds like it'd be perfect
@@MateusFerreira-on3kp hm more like a people person.
Im studying psychology and watching your videos is one of my favorite hobbies. An inspiration to me!
Studying in actual psychological college or university?
@@user-ls2rj8cq1s not everyone can afford to do that. Me for example I can’t afford to go to college but as long as you know how to correctly do research and fact check things, it’s really easy to study freely on the internet
@@jenana6882It’s hard to stay motivated when self studying, how do you do it? In any case, I hope you achieve your goals!
@@uga3086 you give yourself grace lol. I have ADHD and sometimes my studying is just watching and reading a ton of info and taking notes but not before I have to rewind a bunch lol
@@jenana6882 do you take meds?
As simple if a concept comfort is, I feel like it is at the core of almost everything we do. It's status drives our actions, fuels our fears, and forms our biases. From there, I realize that when you really boil everything down, we're all the same. We all want to be heard and validated at one point or another. I dunno. I'm prob just rambling.
nice comment, thank you :)
"I dunno. I'm prob just rambling." next time you talk, don't write or say this to yourself. You'll feel better. Your original comment is spot on, stop doubt yourself.
yep. its true.
Dr. K was an absolute therapy wizard, always predicting the counter-arguments my brain would make. Right on the money every time, including the indignant clamping down to save myself from the pain of hoping and being burned.
I've got a lot to think about. I don't want to, but I think that means I should, so I'm going to try. Thank you.
I find it fascinating how in Dr. K's examples, "loneliness" parallels "ambition." I've always felt that "loneliness" carried a negative connotation while "ambition" carried a positive one.
I used to consider myself ambitious, but in the last 2-3 years I've felt like I lost my ambition -- beating myself up for it and wondering where it went. This video makes me realize that maybe I shouldn't be asking "why have I lost ambition?", rather I should ask "why did I ever need ambition?"
" felt that "loneliness" carried a negative connotation while "ambition" carried a positive one."
You start to understand "ambition" in negative concept/context when you get fired from long term job - and then you have time to reflect back that you will not get medal for your efforts, that other people can do without you just fine and that nobody will appreciate anything you did no matter how wonderful and helpful it was.
Then it makes more sense to do stuff in this world which we really like to do - rather than pleasing image and someone's opinion of us that we have certain level or position which appears acceptable by someone. And instead of chasing other people's impressions and approvals - that we chase our own intrinsic locus of control as ambition, not toxicity just for the sake of pleasing approval of other people.
Wow I almost laughed when he said the loneliness is stronger than the social anxiety because I was a shut in basically but the loneliness sent me into wanting to date and yup first guy I dated I married and he's a narcissist
@@leahflower9924 This is true for so many of us.
And we convince ourselves it's not that bad, that we are too sensitive, CBT will enforce belief that toxic people do not exist and that we can change other people by nitpicking our intrusive worry thoughts (via ABC Model) and label our thoughts as abnormal - not the actual abusive person who is causing all the problems.
@@leahflower9924 ambition does something similar. It puts you in places where things dont work. I was calling it impulsive until i saw this video. Makes a lot of sense. I can observe this in other seemingly ambitious ppl too.
Yup, there seems to be both negative and positive things if I say "ambition". But I dont even quite understand why, on a superficial level.
Maybe the issue is that "ambition" is a goal onto itself, and therefor kinda empty. Being generally "ambitious" carries a sense of not knowing where you actually want to go, and blindly following a behaviour that has a (weirdly) positive connotation.
That would be where awareness helps. If you vaguely know where youd like to be in the long term, but clearly know where you want to be in the short term, why you want to be there, and how to get there, then you dont really need general ambition as a motivator.
Seems like a lot of "overworking" and frustration about the meaningless of their own work is comes from this lack of awareness, taking general principles like "ambition" in an attempt to find meaning.
Recently, a friend of mine from work invited me to go snowboarding with him and I actually went and had the time of my life. This is something I probably would have refused a year ago and because of my practice with detaching from myself and learning to just go with things, it's opened me up to so many opportunities and experiences that I would never have done before.
I'm screenshoting this comment and putting it on my current blog about social anxiety - as motivation.
👆👍💘
Through meditation?
This is weirdly perfectly timed
He's 4D chessing all of us. It's been a slow progression of videos, we're all being lead in the right direction as a community
We all need it
@@Jhawk_2k just wait in 30 years he'll post a video about how to deal with a midlife crisis
I feel this hard. I'm the kind of person that won't go to an event if I don't know the parking situation in advance, or if I don't know the layout of the building. These things have always had a tight grip on me.
Im the same way, its brutal lol. Its gotten worse over the years so I feel like I cant just blame my brain on it
Dude fr. It sucks. But at the same time freeing once you got the courage to face that fear. Your brain’s reaction will be like “see… it wasnt so bad as we thought it is”
Practice it. The first time will be hell, but the more often you are exposed to hell the more comfortable it gets.
I too struggle with parking arrangements for example. The other day we went out for dinner with work and I am directionally challenged.
So initially I didnt want to go (I was going to make up an excuse) but I decided to just suck it up and go for it.
I asked one of my coworkers where I could park, he told me the name of a hotel.
I told my coworkers in advance I would probably get lost.
Turns out there were 2 hotels with that name, I parked at the wrong one and I ended up getting lost.
I told them by phone I got lost, ended up walking 15minutes, found them (thanks google) and we had a good laugh about me being so bad with directions.
After dinner one of my coworkers took me (in her car) to the parkinglot that had my car.
Moral of the story; eventhough "worst case" scenario did happen it wasn't as bad as I had feared and a good group of people will help you manage the failures.
This is easier said than done. For me the struggle is that I want to talk out loud, study, laugh and just do my thing but the catch is I don't have my own room. I sleep at the living room since there isn't enough space for my siblings and I in our tiny house. I am a private person and not having privacy has been very challenging for me lately. I have to learn to detach and just do my thing. Anxiety is just winning at the moment. Got to catch up..
Same here.
Same over here. I have to talk to myself out loud to reflect and make my life on the right track. But I can't afford to move out and live by myself.
"This is easier said than done"
HE is not talking about Life is a Rose Garden here.
He is not talking that with Detachment suddenly all our life will magically become perfect and without problems and we will bathe in money and have enough of everything.
He is talking about mindset - that if we think in a way that we react to toxic people and hard reality of life - without looking it from more than one angle - that the decisions and motivations and paths we take in life will be limited and hence we will miss many chances how to react better in problems we currently have.
It is counter-intuitive but when we are in difficult times in life, when we do not have money, when we do not have perfect ambient as you described - not having room for yourself - we tend to numb these realities and chase for quick and easy solutions - which most of the times are wrong and create more problems later on. And the most damaging is that toxic people will always sniff out our default reaction to react to life - and toxic people will always magically offer exactly what we need to help us "solve" our acute problems - but with hidden prices to pay later on.
When we are aware and when we let go of chasing what other people think of us - we will notice far more solutions in life that we otherwise be blind.
When we cover up our pain and shame and difficulties - we numb it down. When we are numbed - as it is said in this video - we don't resolve anything, we simply react and make horrible decisions in life - based on reaction, quick oversimplifications, and our fears and panic become our masters - and we are not even aware of them being our commanders.
The same as Trump idea to build a wall - we invest money into stopping something which could be resolved in better and healthier way other than creating division and hatred in society. Then our wall becomes our focus in life rather than resolving acute issues which we ignore due to our focus in the wall.
@@ranc1977 thats actually really wise
That's just being a kid
i love that dancing example. at some point in everybody's childhood, we were made fun of for something like dancing. everyone that happened to had to make a choice - whether they liked dancing more than they liked being liked by other people or whether other people's opinions mattered more than their own pleasure. most people one way or another have to fight time and time again to be themselves because of other self-conscious people who project their self consciousness outward and shame/judge others. we get to choose whether we want to enjoy our lives by being detached. it's awesome. loooove this video. not caring what other people think is the most freeing thing ever!
6:46 "Detachment is _not_ about detaching from the world, it's actually about detaching from your self."
There is the pullquote!
Against odds, I have had two NDEs in my life, and a couple of very intentional and healthy entheogen 'trips' to dissociated places, and the greatest gifts I've received from them are an experiential knowledge of the value of detachment from self. I hope that everybody can get to a place where they can conjure that feeling at a moment's notice as well.
I work as a Psychiatric Technician at a mental health hospital.
I study Dr.K's videos and take notes so I can lead group therapy sessions.
This video with this subject came at the perfect time.
Thank you, Dr.K and thank you to the HealthyGamerGG crew.
you basically you're like that doctor from family guy who reads wikipedia before going to do the surgery lol
@@juleslefumiste9204 it's not even remotely comparable...
@@xLuis89x if you're flat-headed nothing's comparable
@@juleslefumiste9204 HG doesn't replace a degree in psychology, but he spreads factual information that can be used in real life. If he already has a formation, I don't see a problem in taking some points from Dr. K videos.
@@juleslefumiste9204 better than the people who are full of themselves. Learning never ends
Being 22, I realized many of these things a long while ago but even the elucidation of detachment actually meaning removing oneself from the ego and actually coming _closer_ to the world instead of farther, was really poetic and beautiful in an intellectual manner. That was great. What I've always thought is this- you make your life the easiest by establishing paths of least resistance. If you ever go canoeing you'll quickly realize you actually move alot farther on a river if you row with the current, instead of trying to row against it, despite the inverse proportion of effort you are exerting.
"canoeing you'll quickly realize you actually move alot farther on a river if you row with the current"
That is literal definition of Wu Wei concept.
@@ranc1977 true, it’s like a synchronicity between mind, body, soul in relation to the world.
@@TheBanjoShowOfficial It makes sense with psychology - that when we resist - things will persist, as Jung said.
A lot of the time I'm thinking to myself "Do I really wanna do this" And my mind starts going on about how hard or not worthwhile it would be.
So I started asking myself "IF you could do it easily with no effort, would you want to do this?". And if the answer is yes, I know that's something I really want and perhaps the way to get there is to work on removing the resistance. I wouldn't know for sure
Same...is it worth it? Will it even work? Will I even be motivated to even doing it in the first place?
Understanding if something is worthwhile is super important though. We don't have a ton of time on earth, so knowing what's worth while before you do it is an incredibly important skill to learnm
Uhh... by that logic, i want pretty much everything. If i could do it easily with no effort, i do want to do so many things in life. From just running down the road to being able to work as a doctor. Is it how it's supposed to be?
>i cant afford to do this or that is an attachment
i never thought this was the case until now. i got too caught up in scarcity mindset because im always anxious about the future and financial stability due to fear of not making it. it all really comes down to practicing ones mindset in order to overcome these barriers so that i can function better and thus not fall into the trap of this self-perpetuating negative feedback loop regardless of what happens. its still something i struggle with to this day.
I know that trying to evaluate what you want to do is important sometimes, but you really need to just need to change your actions or improvise upon it along the way instead of coming up with the perfect solution or decision at the start, because analysis paralysis is the least productive thing that you want to do. thats how you actually grow as a person.
tl;dr just start something as soon as you can when you feel like its really something you want to do.
@@selensewar That's not quite how it's interpreted. The point isn't to underplay difficult things in life, there's a lot that requires lots of effort and time (like becoming a doctor as you said). But it's about finding out what you would like do and what motivates you. Sometimes it's difficult to understand ourselves and find our motivations for small things, because our anxiety barrier is higher than our intrinsic motivation.
You're so on point. One day I was at a party, and I was trying to dance with my girlfriend, she was criticizing (with good intent) how I was dancing out of synch. I explained to her that's because I was depersonalizing, I was stressed out. It felt like I was "dettached from myself, from my body". She didn't understand, because for her, If I really were "detached from myself", it would be positive, I wouldn't care. But in fact my "dettachment" was more like an overattachment to myself, I was outside, but i'm was watching myself.
Maybe you could describe that as being self-conscious.
@@thederpydude2088 I was literary seeing myself from the outside. When I'm self conscious, it's not always from the outside :)
I’ve never considered ego as being a barrier towards motivation like this. when I think about pursuing things I want it’s like I try to imagine every reason why it would be laborious or a waste of time or some other excuse not to do it. fear of failure or inadequacy is huge.
i think this also connects to how we want to avoid negative emotions whenever possible, we don’t want to consider any setbacks. getting stuck in the middle of an art assignment is so unbelievably painful for me, but i can only finish a piece I like if I push through that discomfort. good things are worth that discomfort.
thank you so much for the work that you do.
@FlyingMonkies325 " learn take it one step at a time rather than worrying about the whole thing"
I would add two factors here:
1) External factor - toxic people who put coercive control on us, who are pathological liars and hence give us fake information and mislead us, gaslight us , so we base our decisions on deliberate wrong messages
2) Internal factor such as RSD which is like internalized toxic person inside us which gives us fake wrong messages of fear and urge to care what other people think.
Both factors are not easy to overcome but technique explained in this video helps a lot.
Symptoms of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
(when criticism hurts)
- Being easily embarrassed
- Heightened fear of failure
- Unrealistically high expectations for self
- Assuming people don't like you
- Avoiding social settings
- Perfectionistic tendencies
My reactions were like this:
1. Saw that Dor. K uploaded a new video: “nice!”
2. Says Detachment is actually good: “OMG I must watch this right away! I’ve been thinking about this all year.”
3. *watches the video* … “YES! This is so reassuring! I mean, my meditation skills are still a disaster, but yes! Detachment does lower that resistance and despair and it does get easier to do things. It even somehow does some woo-woo magic something I don’t know what, and the people who can help you in your path start to show up. No kidding.”
4. “I feel that I can leave a comment sharing all this.”
Thank you for what you do Dr. K.
Gud Comment.
Thanks for your comment! Your comment inspired me to write a comment. Normally i am afraid of commenting on videos because nobody is going to like it it or care about it and i’ll just come off looking silly. Here’s to us practicing detachment!
@@Lestertails2 I've felt that worry a little bit myself, too, but a good response to it might be to think about how bad it really even could be. Usually I can conclude that the worst thing that could really happen is that I'll get no response or that some internet strangers will think it's weird or something, which isn't really so bad, so I might as well just post the comment.
I know everyone always says it, but the timing here is out of this world. I was listening to a long philosophy video about this exact concept yesterday.
Then I got high AF and was processing it last night. I'm realizing this is one of my core problems right now, letting go is hard
hey, could you share the link to that video? or share the name?
Also jumping in cause I want to know haha
@@moira_cat6835 yeah ima need that link too fr
I think I'm never gonna get over this because I can't open up to anyone and even if I could, I doubt I can afford a therapist for the amount of time necessary to make any change.
I gotta get this link
Doctor K answering stuff I've been pondering for the last 3-4 days. Here's to you, sir!
Same
Same, last month or so for me. I had a moment of pure detachment from my creative work and immediately had a powerful sense of the world opening up to me, as if I had permission to enjoy it without worry.
My self esteem is going up significantly and Im not idealizing my work as much which is reducing stress and steering me clear of decision paralysis.
Its still a journey but now I see that I must detatch my ego from my work. The good and the bad as it all accrues a debt.
@@cory99998 goals. sad part is i had this before but it got corrupted again. it isnt a permanent state once you achieve it, one must continue cultivating it
Thank you for making this video! You are a mentor to me
I want to sincerely thank you for spending your time talking through this stuff with all of us. It means a lot. Thank you for using the most valuable thing in the universe (Time), to help, teach, and encourage others. I admire you.
This is what I've been trying to understand. I've been trying to understand the meaning of detachment. I've been detached from my ego since a long time ago, but never fully understood the mechanism. Thank you for opening my eyes dr. K!
I am so greatfull I found this channel. You actually explain the theory and explain how to aply it. Other ''self help'' channels and sites sometimes give good insight but then you walk out as if you learnt nothing because they don't show how to use that knoledge. You actually do that. I am learning so much. Thank you.
Right now I'm trying to buld up and understanding of myself and my feelings, because I have ''emotional color blindness'' as you put it the other day, which was also a great video.
This channel is exactly what I’ve been looking for!! I have the most apathetic position and I now understand that my addictions have been ways to quiet my ego making my situation worse. I was a completely non functioning alcoholic for nearly 10 years. I have been sober 3 years after treating my inattentive ADD but most issues in my life have continued to decline finding new ways to silence my nagging inner compass. Recently I’ve taken to saying compulsive, self-depreciating things when I reflect on mistakes I’ve made in the past. Now what I know what to focus my attention to, I feel a rush of confidence to realign the trajectory of my life. Hiring a therapist today. Thank you.
Incredible vid ty dr k. I had the concept of detachment completely wrong until now, and i 100% agree detachment from one's ego is necessary .
These topics are really needed.
You really know what people think and how they should think.
It's a great work done by you.
Hats off!
Love Dr. K. He’s able to articulate so well down to the root of a problem while staying true to the methods of inquiry.
This is a great video! I've questioned the value and goal of meditation. I've also struggled with harboring toxic motivation like loneliness because it was how I learned to seek my own improvement.
The explanation here was a clear summary about how to move beyond my maladaptive thoughts and behaviors. For me at least, this is one of the most valuable videos on the channel because it puts the reason to seek detachment in one place that I can come back and reference
I’ve been dealing with some shitty anxiety due to rejection sensitivity recently, and this video helped me firmly plant my feet on the ground for the time being, cleared my head, and allowed me to think. Thank you Dr. K! You’re giving me the tools I need to improve myself
Thank you, thank you, thank you. This is the first time I've ever heard something spoken so clearly and concisely to what I struggle with. You are helping so many people and loving so many hearts with facts and intention. This was such a blessing to hear. Thank you for helping inspire me.
This is exactly what I needed today, thank you so much!
I'm so glad I clicked on this video. It's fitting for so many of my struggles, and for a long time I actually feel like I should work on myself again. I didn't have any motivation anymore to even try it. Thanks, really.
So on point with what troubles my mind lately, great timing.
This is amazing. I never thought of it this way, but it explains SO MUCH!!!
Awesome! This is my new therapy Goal! Thank you for your comprehensive explanation and simple Tools!
I love watching your content every day Dr. K and I can't tell you how much this video in particular helped me realize what I needed. Thank you for all you do. I appreciate it and I am grateful for what you do.
Great video. Actually reinforcing an experience I have been having for the past couple of weeks, that focusing on what I can do for myself in the world in the moment instead of what I envy and expect of my self, really made me more calm and less anxious. Letting go of my Ego driven thoughts and dread, focusing on myself in the here and now in the world, suddenly makes day to day life much less painful, and I can actually get things done and be proud of myself, when I'm not paralyzed.
Thank you for another amazeing video I feel like learned alot from this I’m also understanding that insecurity’s/egos can clash together. This video was like the 2nd half to my problems of hearing my life story on a platter. All I can do is be humble digest and enjoy the meal and use some techniques to lower my resistances. But most importantly be aware and understand what emotions are tied to me resisting.
A few months ago, I had a long talk with my best friend and he actually told me exactly this. Thank you for putting it into words so well!
What I got from this video is that he's talking about detachment from the ego and worry about all things in relation to self image and self judgement. It is freeing to imagine myself like this. I care about the world and my personal goals, I'm just not judging myself every single step of the way while living life.
Thank you for putting this in a way that makes it more than just information. It’s knowledge that I can apply and something that I really needed.
Wow, thank you for this post. I definitely needed a refresher on my own self-awareness of where I’m operating from.
I've watched a lot of these videos discussing these different topics of mental health for the past year, and the many of the interviews as well. These have helped me start seeing a therapist regularly, which has been the most helpful thing I feel I could have done. Thank you so much for all of the help you've provided that helps challenge the stigma of pursuing the stigma that I've felt for getting help for where I've been. Since starting therapy I've noticed so many thought processes and ways I've distracted or disassociated with my feelings, and it'd been incredible all of the change that this has helped all the relationships in my life. It's still a journey for a lot of my interactions with my family, but I've never felt more hopeful for the future and I feel happier in my day to day. I struggle to put it into words, but life has been so much more positive and I wanted to express the benefit I've received from this type of content being available for free that has helped me pursue further help that I don't know I would have felt possible for myself to go after without this
This is such valuable wisdom. You've posted so many amazing insights, especially the last month. I just want to say thank you. You're really giving me the secret controls of my mind to steer my life on my own.
I want to appreciate how clear you now explain the philosophy behind certain ideas. It makes me really get on board with what you're saying because I can choose to assent or dissent on any point, then the other, then the other, ... and by the end I'm fully onboard, and motivated to apply it.
This is especially great because it was frustrating to not have this, and instead hear that "everything is one and we're all energy and ...". The people in those spiritual communities were always too vague, and so I dismissed most of it.
I wish you'd go even further, and go into detail about how the Buddhists saw the mind exactly, while still relating it to Western psychology if possible, so I can understand the connections, which (edit) I now realise is probably what the guide is about. I'm very likely going to buy this soon, you're videos have proven to me it will be anything but dissappointing.
Anyways, I just want to say thank you again, and I wish you continue for a long time.
Dr K has gone into different eastern conceptions of the mind before, I think both in videos here on RUclips and in the guide. I have all of the guide modules, and it’s a great value and the organization is certainly helpful. For anyone who can’t afford the guides, I think he’s talked about most or all of it in the free youtube videos over the years - that’s just a lot of content to go through. He talks about eastern conceptions of the mind and parts of the mind (particularly the ahumkara, manas, and buddhi) in the Meditation module of the guide.
To clarify, Dr K is not a Buddhist, from what he’s said in the past. If I understand correctly, his training as a monk was within Advaita Vedanta, which has many similarities but is not a form of Buddhism. I say this because I got interested in the philosophies Dr K talks about when he lets himself get into the spiritual side of things, so if you want to dive in as well it is probably helpful to have the term Advaita Vedanta to start your search. I get the impression that Dr K wants to share useful insights and philosophies without crossing the line into proselytizing or alienating folks who have different religious beliefs but could still benefit greatly from these teachings that aren’t strictly religious in the way we tend to understand religion in the West, especially the US. He always seems very thoughtful about respecting whatever religious beliefs his listeners may have and will even explain if a particular meditation might be classified as more religious in nature, why that would be, and what it would mean culturally to use that practice.
The more you understand, the easier things become. I think this is the key lesson, and I love the way you convey it through audio for listeners. Meditation and journaling aim to increase awareness of something, and that is the truth.
This channel is gold for understanding emotions.
I just stumbled onto this MD yesterday, and so far the channel and content-as well as the doctor’s presentation-is excellent. Really good production value, … this guy has it all going on!
Great video. I have used meditation in the past, and it has got me far in my social anxiety and with attachment. Recently, I haven't used meditation, but this just puts it all back into perspective. Thank you, I am now more motivated to let meditation come back into my life. Practicing awareness 😊
This was a very difficult topic to digest. many seemingly detached concepts was being put together. I appreciate you for always brining different perspectives to things Alok
This video is incredibly good. I cannot believe we are so lucky to have this so easily accessible and for free. Thank you, you really helping people.
You always appear at the right time, thank you so much! : )
I randomly stumbled on to your channel and I can see what you’re doing for others. You don’t need my respect but you have it 100%! Keep doing what you’re doing.
This is one of your most important videos, in my opinion.
What a fantastic way to look at things! Thank you so much.
Wow, this video was everything I needed to hear. Thanks, Dr. K
what a freeing perspective. Thank you!
Dr. K. I appreciate your message on the detachment from the ego.
everything that i needed in a neat one single video. i can't thank you enough.
Amazing video I just watched what it’s like to find purpose video which ends with you talking about detachment and then you released this video. Very helpful and insightful advice! Thank you for covering these topics!
All of your videos are incredible, this one in particular for me is a masterpiece. Masterpiece this is what I've needed for a long time. Thanks for posting 👊 🙏
Bro really violated us with a real life personal example right after explaining the concept. Great stuff!
Also great video in general. Thanks so much for making this! It's excellent points and I'll definitely be using it to improve my life.
This was fantastic. Thank you ❤️
This makes so much sense! Thank you!
Such a great video awareness alone is Curative, We cultivate detachment through awareness.
The more you understand the more easy things become.
My biggest problem right now, is not wanting to work but not wanting to work 40 hours a week and only having 2 days off.
same here
I used to be the same way but I worked my way up, now I do 40 hours production work at Tesla and Landscaping (my passion) part time.
Same. I get paid well and all but i never have the energy to study the things i want to in my free time due to exhaustion and the need of escapism
Amazing timing as always Dr. K!
Exactly what I needed to hear today thank you!
OMG im so happy i have found your channel, every video has a golden nugget in it. thank you
omg i love this man so hard. delivering such high-consciousness notions to the masses in such an easily digestible way. absolutely brilliant, light bearer. rock on.
This is an interesting and valuable topic. Thank you for diving into this.
I liked the phrase at 16:45 : "Without awareness that there is a problem, they can't really fix it.". It can get really complicated when I am proudful of my problem, and when society encourages the problem saying that it is good.
You have made me understand so many things even only watching a few videos, thank you
i've been waiting for this video from you from the first video that i saw of yours, never knew how the logic about being motivated could work if you didn't care of anything. im so happy right now :D
This video is a gem. You are a gem. This knowledge is treasure.
Thank You.
Love your videos. a lot of detail and a lot of insight. Have this playing as basically of podcast in the morning.
And here I thought I would need constant ambition! This approach to life makes much more sense, especially since i started taking meditation and my health more seriously. As always, thank you, Dr. K!
Personal thought - the word 'guru' has a specific root & a specific meaning - 'one who brings others out from darkness, into light'.
For me this creator is 100% worthy of such a descriptor.
Wow. Just wow. Thank you, this is a tremendous quality content.
Thank you, I needed this just today
It works! The compound interest from the time and energy spent to meditate will patch the time and energy wasted when making money or plans and doing tasks with your character.
My suffering from a rejection just vanished in mere seconds after I practiced what Dr. K is teaching. I was agitated and anxious for a few weeks now. Thank you very much!❤❤
Just in time for getting over a girl I thought was the one. She was the first girl I had a crush on in 8 years and the first I ever told. It was really hard because of depression, anxiety and Anhedonia along with autism. Thank you
You are gold, thank you ❤
I was thinking about this description of detachment vs apathy in light of my journey through therapy, it seems to boil down to "what are you detaching from?" Apathy is detaching from meaning and community, while this model of detachment is removing the things that stand in the way of meaning and community. And that's why they're opposites.
It's a cool way of understanding this experience, and exactly what I need right now. Thank you!!
I really liked this video bc I can relate to this a lot. Ofc here’s little 6 grader me, awkward and nervous. I don’t know what clicked in my brain but I detached before I even knew what I was actually doing. Detaching gave me a sense of confidence, and stride to step to and ever sense I felt like a free bird. I literally just stop caring what people thought. Even deeper thought, I logically walked myself through that by reminding myself, if I’m in my head, others may also be in their head too, therefore, distracted by what I’m doing. So that beg me the question, why should I care what others think if Ik that their too distracted with themselves to care what I look or sound like.
Detachment is a superpower, I can honestly attest to it.
my reaction to this is the need to say thank you for all the work you do :)
This is making something very complicated seem easy. You have to be aware of your own faults and in this mind space they will become less of an obstacle
this is such a great video, thanks dr. k :)
Love this video & love this channel :) Thanks for all the great work you and your team do
I love your videos you are clever and i am glad i found your channel, it is a treasure. Thank you for sharing your knowledge, experience and energy to us.
This is a fantastic video
Wow... thank you for making this. I needed it so badly. I've been struggling with the social anxiety / loneliness loop, and the loneliness is getting dire. I went from seeing friends once a week or more, down to once every month or less. I didn't leave my house. Haven't dated since my last relationship ended 3 years ago. Social anxiety has been a life long struggle, but I kept remembering that it was easier around my late teens and early 20's. Why?.... I was deep into meditation then. Didn't figure it out til I watched your video, and so much more info! So thank you again. ❤
This was such a good video!