I am an animator, and one teacher taught us something similar. He insisted us to return to a child's mindset, to a stage before puberty and adolescence where a standard and ego is installed. To be curious, to learn, to fall down and get up with a new lesson, without fear of being silly, making art and animation becomes easy and exciting. If you get the identity of a professional animator, the easy stuff becomes boring to do and the hard stuff makes you afraid of failing and not live up to expectations.
Wow! I’m studying animation right now and aspire to work as an animator, so I appreciate this advice! I’ve been intuitively thinking that this is the way to view it… especially with practicing the “easy” stuff but then wanting to make more complicated scenes and getting overwhelmed with the quality I want to make it at and can’t yet, so I have to go back to practice the easy stuff and then there’s the learning curve with a new animation software and and!! I just want to have fun with it! So channeling my inner curious child to take over is useful. Your comment is reassuring - thanks for sharing!
its so easy to say that old same adage when in reality you had nothing ingrained when still a child, which is why your sensations were completely different back then.
I actually did the exercise during the video, and something I noticed is that the thing that keeps me from writing (I'm a writer) isn't actually what I thought it was. I asked myself "Why can't I sit and just write my book?" and the answer I got was "It's a tedious process, it can be boring." Then I asked myself "Why is it boring? Why is it tedious?" and I found I don't actually have an answer to that, because my thoughts surrounding the concept that it's tedious and boring are not indicative of reality. I've been getting in my own way the whole time. It's not that I don't enjoy writing, it's not even that it's tedious and boring, it's that my thought process keeps going back to "It's tedious and boring" and that sucks out my motivation to write, my energy to write, etc. So I think for me, I just have to remember that the idea that it's tedious and boring isn't reality, it's literally something my mind made up, and there's no reason for me to allow that to hold me back. Thank you for this video, because this absolutely is a guide to unlocking one's effort. With effort, one has the potential for results, and in my case, it's at least gotten me started in trying to realize that this block I've had (for a few years now) is entirely my own doing, and I can undo it, and get back to writing. It is so easy to fall into a slump and think there's no way forward, and bottom line, sometimes it just takes sitting back, relaxing, and diving into the "why" rather than the "how".
I also have been just getting back into drawing because of something similar to this. Sometimes doing something new as well may freshen things up for you too. Such as going on a website, finding a completely random writing topic, and trying to write at least two pages using that story topic. Fun things may not always fun if it becomes repetitive sometimes.
Would the response to that not be "It is tedious and boring because it doesn't seem rewarding to me and when I make progress it doesn't feel as good as it used to in earlier stages?"
@@YessaTNM Lol, not in my case. I love writing, and I've always gotten something out of it. The reason the mindset of tedium and boredom came into being is because I've had to rewrite the current book I'm working on, twice; once to change the plot entirely, and once after my hard drive failed. The current project would've been finished by now if not for those lol. In fact, this project has taken me about seven years so far, which is far past my personal standard, but not the longest I've heard of.
I'm an artist, and I am with you, when the thoughts of.. omg is gonna take so long, so tedious, so boring, etc... I remind myself with a "just get lost in the moments, this is what matters, just focus on the paper, the pan and the creativity".. and I come back to reality after like 5hrs lol
@@BoredPodcaster Don't forget, having a finished book out there, even an imperfect one, is better than never having made the perfect book. :') I hope it goes well for you though. I struggle with writing too, but for different reasons.
Theres a subtle component here, the act of introspection and reshaping your identity changes your goals as you find out what you really value. And that alignment makes action easy
Recap + personal thouhts: When you say you "feel motivated", that is a feeling. This happens when you want to do what you are doing and you feel like you are good at it, you know you will succeed, you are confident. Whether you feel confident depends highly on your opinion of yourself. Often the lack of confidence comes from an internal belief in yourself. The belivef and you cannot do something/are not good at it. That you as a person, just cannot do that. Then of course naturally you have the opposite of motivation, you have self-defeat, you want to quit. After all why keep going, when you cannot succeed. The body and mind are very efficient and will cut off tasks that seems impossible. No reason to waste resources. The key idea from this video is to challenge this percetion that you are not good enough. When you challenge that, you have no reason to doubt yourself. When you have not reason to doubt yourself, you think that you can succeed. Then it is worth trying! How do you change this? Next time you are sitting down with a task and you feel the push back, just sit there. Observe it. Metidate on it. What does it feel like? Then think about it a little bit. Where does it come from? What part in you makes it impossible to succeed. It that part actually there? Spiler: it isn't there. You aren't one way or another. You are just you. Your sense of self is an intellectual construction of your brain. It is not real. It's a framework of limitation that tells you what you can/cannot do. While often useful - you don't go jumping off building, it can be limiting about practical things you want to do. You can challenge that, and change it. You build what you are, you don't inherit it.
But I *am* bad at art, I *will* fail at making good art for a long time until I learn, and that's assuming I actually even start. Nothing other than action will change that. So what if it's part of my "identity", it's true
Dr. K still being the only mental health professional telling me to let go of the idea of accomplishment. Definitely needed that reminder again, I'll use this technique next time I'm spiraling into another funk.
Yeah, I feel the same way. I've casually read books about zen buddhism and the mindset that comes with it. The idea of letting ago of ego, or in my specific-context the "results-based mindset/product-oriented mindset," has helped me move forward. Whenever ego is out of the picture and you're just free to be, well you. It feels nice to not always be my worst enemy. Dr. K contextualize things with a wider picture for me, so I don't feel so confused. Glad he's helped so many in the community and of course you too. Just want you to know that there's someone out there who shares your struggles and sentiment.
is definetly super counter to the usual advice of western selfhelp, but is neccesary if we want a more healthy society im glad he's kinda narrowing the gap and teaching more advanced stuff
every time I have the feeling I don't want to do something because I'm bad at it, I remember this quote I read on tumblr some time ago. "You can't become a skillful master if you're not willing to be a foolish beginner." It helps a lot with my motivation. Everyone who is good at something started somewhere, and that's okay!
@@tedsteiner Doesnt matter what it is, anything that keeps you going is an amazing thing to have. I’ve been there before and can relate to your struggle. I hope you find your way out soon just keep holding out for that day because your current state is only temporary
02:01 🧠 When giving 100% effort, emotions align with the task and energy levels sustain the effort. 03:13 🤔 Saying "I don't feel like it" often relates to emotions, not logical conclusions; feelings of neutrality might still indicate an emotional state. 04:24 🕺 Emotional responses to tasks depend on self-perception; perception of self influences excitement or discomfort in engaging with activities. 07:35 ⚡ Optimal energy for a task lies in a moderate stress level (eustress); low stress leads to boredom, high stress leads to feeling overwhelmed. 09:55 🧘 Perception of self influences stress levels related to tasks; boredom can stem from perceiving tasks as beneath oneself, while overwhelm can come from self-perceived inability to handle a challenge. 13:37 🧭 Tracing lack of effort or energy in tasks back to aspects of one's identity helps recognize self-imposed limitations. 15:01 🧘♂ Meditation, with a focus on identity attributes, allows recognizing that these attributes are constructed and not inherent, leading to their release over time. 17:51 🌟 Releasing self-imposed identity limitations enables giving 100% effort by letting go of preconceived notions, leading to increased energy and emotional alignment with tasks.
Hey man. Just gonna say it, I can't get enough of the positive, yet informative energy from this channel and everything you do. Im a 17 year old high school student aspiring to become a psychiatrist myself, and you have been a great inspiration for this goal. I've watched pretty much all of your videos, and I'm gald to have the opportunity to engage in this community and its goals. There's a lot of good that comes from this community, and from you, Dr. K. I can't put into words how much I appreciate all of you guys, and I'm hoping that this community continues to flourish. There's so much good advice from this place, and it has helped tremendously with writing a book series while handling my education at the same time. I don’t wanna ramble on too long, but seriously, thanks to all of you for simply being here, and making it to the next day. It means a lot for so many people.
I love everything about this video-the energy, the research, and the lesson. But what got me really excited was the mix of Western and Eastern teachings. Honestly, adding monk philosophy made this video all the more valuable! Great job, brother🔥
Yet another instant classic for me to rewatch every couple of months and send to my friends when they ask for advice. Thanks dr k. May you be free happy and find peace
Technique boils down to: 0. Be aware that what motivates or demotivates you is a matter of beliefs and your identity (see [[Cognitive Behavioral Therapy]], which relies on a very similar idea - not mentioned in this video, but useful). 1. Take a task you want to do, but "don't feel like" / "have no energy" to put in 100% of effort. 2. Take either of those statements and trace them back to your identity. (What is it about *me* that creates this emotional response? Some people would feel very differently about the exact same task. Some, even while anxious, could handle it differently. Write down what is it about *you* that makes it hard to do it.) 3. Once you have it, don't argue with those findings, don't try to convince yourself that's not true. Just become aware of it. 4. Sit up straight. 5. Take a deep breath. 6. (optional, but helpful) Chant "ohmm" 3 times or do some other centering practice. 7. Focus on your body. Don't worry about your thoughts (they're abstract, not real), just on what actually exists and look for that aspect of your identity. Is this a real thing within you, right in this moment? 8. What you'll discover is that it's not there. 9. Take a deep breath in, deep breath out and let that attribute of your identity go. "It's something I believe about myself, that isn't true in this moment, so I'm going to go ahead and let it go." 10. With repeated practice you should change who you are and become able of giving in 100% of effort to any task you want.
I have a problem with the "that isn't true in this moment" because it absolutely is true. Just because 1+1=2 is a thought doesn't make it false Thinking is literally the only way to determine if something is true so if I were to ask myself to answer "Am I a human" without thinking of course I would find no answer with such a handicap
@@jorge5p361 It didn't work for me, no. But it could still work for you, maybe. Different people react to such things differently, under this video you'll also find comments saying how those tips helped them, so it's probably worth it to give it a try at least?
I had bad performance on exams recently and it resulted in association of myself as failed student, and because of that i cannot really even start work. Seems like i finally get answers about my poor motivation and how to fix that! Thank you Dr. K.❤
This is interesting. I had to be humbled before picking my life up. The downside about that was, when I realized how little I knew about life I entered a depressive self pitying state from where I could not get out for half a year. After years of lack of motivation, I finally learned to be on a self improvement mentality where I always think I can learn anything with enough time and grit
I haven't even done the exercise yet, but I immediately burst into tears as soon as the video ended because hearing all of this was like getting permission to let go of constantly telling myself that I'm a worthless, useless, stupid piece of shit. I've been watching these videos daily and taking meditation, inward study, and properly fueling myself seriously for the past couple of weeks and I already feel a little lighter. This lesson really struck a chord with me. Thank you for all that you provide!
bang on, i feel I just figured something similar a couple weeks ago. I kept trying to do things in line with my ego. and then I realized that my ego was just an idea of what I should do versus what i actually want to do. I enjoy working but i also enjoy taking breaks and time off. I dont need to always be perfect. align your emotions to the task is what i think i started doing. so when i dont have much energy to do work, i do the easy work or take a break, and i trust that in time I will naturally come back around to the feeling of doing the work.
Notes for myself (limited context so I recommend others who see this to actually watch the video!) 13:30 Take a task 13:37 No energy or don’t feel like it. 13:43 Trace either those things to identify 14:10 What is it about you that makes you unable to engage with the task? 14:18 What about this is overwhelming or boring for you? 14:51 Sit up straight. 15:15 Take a deep breath. 15:33 Look within yourself for that attribute of identity. What actually exists within you apart from thoughts, emotions? 16:35 Can you determine if this is a real thing within you? Thinking is not real. E.g. psychosis 17:45 Melt away these aspects of identity 18:12 Regardless of identity, focus on what you can do 18:47 Let go of who you are
Where are you located Dr K? I'm a 27 year old Buddhist. Life is absolutely tearing me apart at the moment and it's beyond my control. I am still here because of my spiritual beliefs. I want to live, love, but I also want to suffer because that's what life is. You can't escape it. I'm a caregiver for my father with an aggressive form of Dementia. After 6 years, my mind feels like it's melted and my body is frail. But I still cling to life because I know who I really am. I just don't know how much more I can hang on. My own mind is failing me now. I can't sleep, I can't think straight and I know that's not who I am. I unfortunately also don't have the resources to help myself. I just need someone to truly understand me as a human being who's in intolerable pain (psychically & emotionally). You're that person...
That sounds so hard, I can't imagine what that would be like. That's a truly difficult situation that not many people your age have to deal with. I'm just a random internet observer but I'm glad to see that you understand that pain and suffering can be meaningful, and I hope you're hanging in there and holding onto the hope that better days are ahead, because I truly believe that they always are.
@@j0hnthe5th Thank you brother. It means more than you will ever understand. I have no option but to hang on. To cling to life even when I feel destroyed as a human being. To believe that one day, things won't be this. I have no option. I can't fail. My mother and my family needs me. LBD is such a horrible disease that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It's the most cruel thing I have ever dealt with and it never stops. It's like staring into the heart of evil evil in the eyes of the person you love and immediately you know they're already gone. It's horrible but it's taught me so much about what being a human being is all about. And it is for us to work on service to others. And I want to dedicate my life to that in one way or another.
@@Nergal667hey how are you doing? It's been 5 months I hope you are doing good . I know it's hard but you are really a good person to help your family like that even when it's getting so hard for your overall health. I am cheering for you please stay strong I believe in you.
@Nergal667 When we have access to so many hours of a person's thoughts and advices, it can give us the illusion that they are the only one out there who could understand us. In reality, when we are in pain, what we THINK we need is often not what would actually help us the most. I was struggling a lot and I thought I needed to analyze my emotions so I could control them. It turns out that was the farthest from the truth, and only after opening myself up to a therapist who didn't seem to fully understand, I was able to break through. I hope you seek help where you can find it, and that it leads you to a better place within yourself. Hope you are well.
Holy crap. What a powerful exercise. When I felt what was getting in the way was the idea that I’m a failure. Even a lot of my accomplishments were framed to me and by me as failures. But I am not failure. It’s a concept but it is not actually apart of my identity.
This was one of the biggest breakthroughs I've had in my life. Growing up inattentive anxious and depressed my mind was in a perpetual state of anxiousness which qould cause me to always be defensive and unmotivated. When I finally learned to let go of my mind and allow myself to flow into things. It completed changed the course of my future and led me to the stable life I have today. The way you lay it all out here is extremely clear. Love that new haircut too.
It's really hard to type in words but I usually do it in the morning when I'm in the shadow. The gambit I use is one where I just some random sentence as an actor would recite a line. This creates an untightened mind. To be able to do this I had to acknowledge certain sensations first to learn how to do this. First start by noticing the mental tightness you feel when you are anxious or in your head. (I feel towards the front of my head) Once you notice this, try loosening that sensation and operating from the back of your head. You know it's working when you no longer feel your find and you have a more intuitive sense of control of your body. I use the dialogue gambit because it makes it easy to recall this sensation, not because it has any inherent value on its own.@@Jonas-qf1cu
It's a sensation. I mean instead of feeling the intensity and anxiety towards the front of your head, the sensation is from the back of head when you let go and operate more from a state of automation. @@pentingberhasil633
Love how all of these videos start with a premise, an explanation and then some sort of practical activity. Really feels like I get to take something away every time.
I have done the exercise during the video, and the "thoughts aren't reality" and "letting go of your 'identity'" parts made me cry. I'm not entirely sure why, but I think what I felt was relief; from my own expectations and judgement of myself. This is so freeing. Thank you so much.
I didn't expect this to be so healpful but the more I listen "those videos that are not what I was looking for" the more I learn most of my problems come to a sense of identity.
Sort of summary I created for myself, if anyone needs one (copy paste from a simple markdown file): Whenever there is a task in which I feel like: 1. Don’t feel like doing it 2. No energy **Try to trace that back to a sense of identity** What is it about me that creates this emotional response? Why am I afraid to do it, or anxious to do it? While other people would not necessarily feel anxious as I am right now. Or even if they were anxious, they may have handled that differently Hence the question that rises is “What is it about me that I’m unable to engage with the task?” What about this is boring, overwhelming, frightening for me? It will be tunneled down to a sense of identity → the less complex the better → don’t try to argue with it + it doesn’t have to be 100% correct. ## Technique 1. Sit straight (spine, neck and head) 2. Look within myself for that attribute/aspect of my identity. Notice the experience of that moment, what exists within you, what are you. 3. You will notice thoughts. However, thoughts are just thoughts, they aren’t real or make what we think about, real. 4. However, as for that attribute, could you determine in that moment, in 60 seconds, that this thing about yourself is true? whether it’s a real thing within you? 5. What you will find out is that it is not there, as it will all aspects of identity, they are thoughts, conclusions, abstractions. 6. As you don’t find that attribute within you, take a deep breath in and out, and let that attribute of identity go. It is something I believed about myself that isn’t really true, so I’m letting it go. ## For Example **Attribute - Sense of Identity:** Am I smart? stupid? **Final conclusion after deep inspection:** I am what I am, I don’t know if it’s smart or stupid → I’ll just focus on learning and becoming the best that I can in that thing.
What an interesting video! Thank you! Just today, I discovered that it makes a huge difference to me what path of identity I follow. If I identify with the idea of becoming something like Jedi... like being perfect, never give in to temptations... then I become very critical of myself whenever I make a mistake and don't have compassion for my 'weaker side' and those of others. On the other side... if I choose someone like Uncle Iroh, who's comfortable with looking like a fool, enjoying the little joys of life like a cup of tea, offering compassion and understanding to those who need an open ear, being relaxed and still gives his full effort when needed... I feel light, joyful and strong and open to give it my best.
These points really hit home for me. I'm a classic case of stress=productivity. I have played violin since I was 10. But at 37, I almost never play. And now I am terrible. Last year, I was asked to play the processional at a family wedding, so I really got motivated and spent months playing every single day I could. As soon as the wedding happened, I stopped. With kids and a travelling job, I don't make the time for it because there's no ensemble or event to play for. This summer, I ran my first half marathon and then a 10k. I religiously followed my training plan. No matter how tired I was, how long my work day was, I was out there running my plan. Now that the races are done, the only thing motivating me is to not lose all of my progress before next season. I have used meditation before to help with back pain, stress, and sleeping, so I am familiar. But now I have to figure out what it is about me that puts up the barriers. And that seems like the hardest part.
Perception of self Influence on stress and energy Changing identity through yoga and meditation Practical techniques for reshaping identity Practical application Identifying and addressing identity issues Centering practices like OM chanting Letting go of limiting beliefs
Dear Dr. K and lovely people of the community. One of my favorite mantras, or something I really just repeat in my head whenever I think to, is: "Good things are allowed to happen to me" I feel like this is on topic. Hope this helps someone
I think it's awesome how your own view of yourself can change the way you look at tasks. I have been assigned to a task that I don't even know how to start and got really upset about myself for not knowing what to do. Then one of my colleagues ask me how to do something in excel. I taught him how to do it and afterward, he called me a "wizard at this shit". Something clicked in me then, 'I am a fucking wizard! Yeah, that's right!". I then proceeded to do the project smoothly, it might not be the best but I have felt more postively about it. Understanding this, I now try to compliment every good thing I see in another person's work in the chance that it might unlock their potential to be wizards themselves.
Gringos in Brazil. As we, Brazilians, active try to encourage people to enjoy our culture they usually get a bit more loose. As most gringos think here is a "lawless sinful" land they also get more loose. That's why some people absolutely love it here, it's the only place on Earth where they've allowed themselves to be bad at something. The fact there usually are someone around who is more carefree that "doesn't belong" there and still has fun also help a lot. I'm more of an observer-commenter kinda guy and even I enjoy this easiness on getting loose
I don't know how to thank you, you are the only one who gave me awareness about daydream, The first time when i indulged into that for 4-5 days continuously all the hours while listening music, I thought I'm f*cked up, it felt soo ashamed and scary to actually tell this kind of experience to anyone (parents or friends). Thanks doctor!🙏🏻💖
I just got back from a therapy appointment that didn't seem to do anything for me. In the time it took Dr K to explain, I was able to follow along and boost my confidence in myself. Thank you for making this advice freely available.
There is a very narrow band of tasks that don’t either overwhelm or bore me… today I watched this, and tried it with tasks that I’d avoided due to overwhelm… IT WORKS ! 😮 🥳
Dr. K’s words are making me emotional for real. After a really bad patch I had, I’m putting myself on track and this kind of mindset is what keeps me motivated. Thank you so much, Dr. K. Thank you.
I've already clipped the: "Wow, this is an amazing opportunity, I can't believe that they just opened up a dance floor, it's: *TIME TO GO BOOGIE, LET'S GO!*" Working on turning "Time to go boogie, let's go!" into a Discord soundboard sound.
I feel like this guy is one of the very few RUclips psychiatrists who actually know what they’re talking about instead of just claiming to. I even went to the web page he suggests. 👌🏻
I tried the method where dr k said to write down what your thinking about or getting to. while sinking deeper into your structure of “i dont want to do this” then asking yourself why? Helped me exponentially right after watching and understanding And it makes me more happy to see that other people here such as (writers-artists) or how ever they are. They got the point and it already made them (and me) a better person 👍
I love your videos cause you don’t just cite studies but you give easy solutions such as meditation and chanting which I find is what many people are missing. I’ve studied psychology in university and am in medicine and am astonished how few people bring up meditation
I started to let go of my identity and my mind said "You'll embarrass yourself" and I was like oh that's why my identity existed to shield me from that. Then I just kind of smiled and was like yeah I'm letting go lmao.
❤❤❤ i am a mum with a 22 year old son and I RAVE about you and tell any of his friends that will listen about you- the gamer psychiatrist. You are SAVING lives Dr K🥰
This video helped me realize that ADHD is not the real reason why I lose motivation very quickly...the real reason is that I don't believe that I'm capable of learning new things, which is an absurd belief because I learned several art forms and was also an A student....I am going to challenge this belief....it's true that I find it hard to learn things that require hand-eye coordination, but I did learn to paint and draw a bit so it's not impossible. Besides, I am trying to learn a language and improve my cooking skills right now, and those don't require really good hand-eye coordination at all. It's important to question beliefs like this, and I am glad I did, because I otherwise would have kept using my ADHD as an excuse.
Wow, I had a similar experience, and I decided to take ping-pong classes. I had no idea about it before. Looking back, I remember all the negative thoughts I experienced (you are not going to be good at it because this requires attention and you have ADHD and so on). The key is to continue doing it, no matter what your mind tells you. If you stay consistent, even if it's not perfect, you will realize everything is just a matter of time and practice. I also learned to forgive myself for not knowing. Hope this helps. Good luck!❤
I just want to leave a thank you. I have been working on my mental health since 2020 and I started being able to work on myself over the year after I left the Marine Corps and was waiting on va care. You opened my eyes to a massive amount of information I had no idea about. I have a long way to go with my motivation so this is perfect timing as I am coming out of depression!
Certainly! This is such an insightful discussion on motivation! I've often felt the same struggle, especially when I have big projects looming over me. It’s like my brain switches to ‘I don’t feel like it’ mode, even though I know I can push through if I just shift my perspective. Your emphasis on identity and how it shapes our emotional responses is spot on! I’ve found that embracing my awkwardness, like you mentioned about dancing, actually opens up new experiences for me. Plus, it reminds me of the Sense of Humor Improvement Program by Habit10x-it’s all about enjoying the moment! Keep pushing forward, everyone! 🌟
Did not proceed with the solution but after having the problem addressed now I just do a mind check before each task, if it seems to be easy/boring I will give just 20% effort to match the difficulty. Worked pretty well
This is the first time I’m getting a Dr. K advice where I’ve naturally had some recent experiences applying that sort of thing and am in the middle of a mindset shift atm so very validating!! He’s spitting truth I can confirm.
It's the sympathetic nervous system. Once a person has activated a percentage of their fight or flight system they are better at suppressing self doubt and the inner critic, while having more engaged focus and mental acuity. It comes at a cost though: burnout and unresolved emotional suppression. . The human brain is not meant to be in fight or flight mode for prolonged periods of time. However our institutions of education and labor are predicated on students pushing themselves into states of mind that evolved to process threat... what is the threat in education? Allowing peers to attain more resources than you because they received better grades. This is why we see credential creep at the absurd levels we have today. Too many people pushing themselves too far for too long with the idea that this is making them smarter and more enlightened. The amount of Adderall on college campuses is insane.
"Allowing peers to attain more resources than you because they received better grades." What's with this passive voice? You're completely decentering the peers who are working harder or are otherwise putting in the work required to perform better. You're making a salient point but we don't have to do it on the backs of our most successful and productive individuals in academia.
@@Yuvraj. I'm not diminishing another person's hard work by stating that an institution which pits one person's hard work against another person's hard work instead of training them how to work together is an oppressive system. I'm also saying that people who thrive in a competitive environment are more likely to be narcissistic and psychopath - which is why CEO's represent a higher percentage of psychopaths. So this environment become inherently inequitable and even antagonistic to those who prefer to work with others instead of competing in isolation.
@@meinbherpieg4723 Your 'oppressive system' term is true in reality because of the 2nd point. The other one needed to see Brian Klass' Big Think episode about why psychopaths rule that actually renders the point of this video nearly useless, unless for those whose problem was just really themselves. Anybody else can challenge me on that and the fact the word 'focus on what you can control' is a joke because some gets handed the cards they have next to zero control about just anything.
@@cory99998 The finals are more personal. Sort of expressions of how I identify myself and my purpose. One is an essay on cognitive sovereignty and empowerment in the evolving attention economy, something deeply personal to me since my mom became and anti vaxxer and passed away during the pandemic. And another is a mixed reality meditation experience for the quest 3. Also an expression of how I envision technology better representing the more human centric needs of people pursuing agency and guided emotional understanding. But my efforts have been mediocre, I feel like I'm playing catch up with all my work and I increasingly feel terrible about it. I need to snap out of it and just double down on these things. For context I helped lead the largest xr hackathon in the west coast a few weeks ago and that drained my first 6-7 weeks of the quarter. And my Thanksgiving break wasn't really a break. It was logistical management for how to move forward with the properties my mom left unresolved in Mexico. But, maybe this is a matter of mindset. I should be looking at all of this as an obstacle that's actually an opportunity
@@emmanuelcorona2478 imo its a matter of mindset/self perception as mentioned in the video but sometimes its also just........ burnout lol. which reading about what youve been dealing w without any proper recovery time is the logical conclusion. "if you dont decide when to take a break your body/brain will decide for you"
Man. I trully wish i have met you 10 years ago. But still i am thankful for everything you taught me and i am forever thankful for the gold nuggets of wisdom you share with the community ! Thanks for everything.
Loved this! I have noticed that I feel either tired or “I don’t want to” at work A LOT. I’ll go through periods of intense focus/motivation followed by days or weeks of struggle. Sometimes that then bleeds into my daily life, and I struggle to really do much of anything…even things I like, because I feel so tired. But then I’ll actually start something I like or think I’m good at - Can be as simple as exercise or just cleaning something…and that helps. I will try this technique of breathing/chanting and letting go of self perception. I am definitely one of those people who is anxious about not knowing how to do something 💯 and being depended on to get it right (that’s my job in a nutshell 😂). Appreciate you and this video!
I'm overwhelmed by having to start my first job search on my own. When I break down the huge task into smaller tasks, I can see where I'm lacking knowledge and need to look for help (internet research and resume examples).
I started thinking about the physical tasks that I could perform in a 60s timeframe and it felt like a very powerful positive reversal of the idea. I am a good skater because I have worked to be able to do that. I get to internalize that as part of my identity.
Eustress Sense of Identity Perception of the Self Arousal system - hpa axis Sense of self Constructions Intellectual/emotional conclusions Cognitively reshape Centering practice Thoughts are not reality Attributes of Identity
telling yourself you can do everything is a limitation because it tells you you can't do nothing. and sometimes the things you have to do are worth nothing to you.
This was so helpful, Imma try this out! I always say that my inaction comes from my ADD and anxiety but honestly, I don't think that's all of it. I think the ego has a lot of blame too!
One big takeaway I had from this and I want to share it is - There needs to be 0 emotional objections on your path to what you want to do. As long as there are objections and blockers - you will have a harder time achieving what you want. These blockers and objections can be subconscious and you can easily miss them. If you're really having a hard time, think about talking to a psychologist, as we're limited in our own perception and rarely objective when it comes to what we think, do and feel.
i have been here. Talks about that perception of self controls the energy componenet and emotional componenet combined with the level of arousal and stress. So the perception literally controls the amount of energy required because brain will do braining and reject a task after doing the energy conversation calculation if too much stress is involved. If it feels overwhelming try imagining how bad you could do it and settle with it or how would X person would have done it and how would he have reacted with his worst performance
for me a game changer was having a friends and doing stuff with them idk I'm just a totally different person since I have friends I actually start caring about things
I love when Dr. K introduces eastern concepts and practices, they are of great value. I would also complement this with some older videos about Dharma, something that is really worth considering.
I'll post a detailed answer later but in short while I agree with what Dr K said, these realizations are literally rage-inducing in my case. I've once discovered I've been stuck for years (mostly) by my own doing, but it's upsetting to rediscover it once more after conveniently amd predictably forgetting about it.
I noticed his videos is getting more raw. Like the "why no fap is so hard" video. Finally, somebody is feeding into the other side of why some men are feeling and acting this way and why that is. Lord knows when that cold wind blows, it'll turn your turn your head around.
I am a PhD student and I think this video helped me understand how imposter syndrome feeds into how overwhelmed I feel. I think by recognizing the skills I have learned and giving my innate curiosity the recognition it deserves I might finally start to achieve what I’m capable of 🤔😮
Dr. K as an indian who is struggling with accents can you give us some insights on how did you learn the american accent and above that THE SWITCH BETWEEN THE INDIAN AND US. Love your videos big follower!
I am an animator, and one teacher taught us something similar. He insisted us to return to a child's mindset, to a stage before puberty and adolescence where a standard and ego is installed. To be curious, to learn, to fall down and get up with a new lesson, without fear of being silly, making art and animation becomes easy and exciting. If you get the identity of a professional animator, the easy stuff becomes boring to do and the hard stuff makes you afraid of failing and not live up to expectations.
As a songwriter, this is spot on.
Wow! I’m studying animation right now and aspire to work as an animator, so I appreciate this advice! I’ve been intuitively thinking that this is the way to view it… especially with practicing the “easy” stuff but then wanting to make more complicated scenes and getting overwhelmed with the quality I want to make it at and can’t yet, so I have to go back to practice the easy stuff and then there’s the learning curve with a new animation software and and!! I just want to have fun with it! So channeling my inner curious child to take over is useful. Your comment is reassuring - thanks for sharing!
its so easy to say that old same adage when in reality you had nothing ingrained when still a child, which is why your sensations were completely different back then.
You know I’m something of a child myself
That’s beautiful
I actually did the exercise during the video, and something I noticed is that the thing that keeps me from writing (I'm a writer) isn't actually what I thought it was. I asked myself "Why can't I sit and just write my book?" and the answer I got was "It's a tedious process, it can be boring." Then I asked myself "Why is it boring? Why is it tedious?" and I found I don't actually have an answer to that, because my thoughts surrounding the concept that it's tedious and boring are not indicative of reality. I've been getting in my own way the whole time. It's not that I don't enjoy writing, it's not even that it's tedious and boring, it's that my thought process keeps going back to "It's tedious and boring" and that sucks out my motivation to write, my energy to write, etc.
So I think for me, I just have to remember that the idea that it's tedious and boring isn't reality, it's literally something my mind made up, and there's no reason for me to allow that to hold me back.
Thank you for this video, because this absolutely is a guide to unlocking one's effort. With effort, one has the potential for results, and in my case, it's at least gotten me started in trying to realize that this block I've had (for a few years now) is entirely my own doing, and I can undo it, and get back to writing.
It is so easy to fall into a slump and think there's no way forward, and bottom line, sometimes it just takes sitting back, relaxing, and diving into the "why" rather than the "how".
I also have been just getting back into drawing because of something similar to this. Sometimes doing something new as well may freshen things up for you too. Such as going on a website, finding a completely random writing topic, and trying to write at least two pages using that story topic. Fun things may not always fun if it becomes repetitive sometimes.
Would the response to that not be "It is tedious and boring because it doesn't seem rewarding to me and when I make progress it doesn't feel as good as it used to in earlier stages?"
@@YessaTNM Lol, not in my case. I love writing, and I've always gotten something out of it. The reason the mindset of tedium and boredom came into being is because I've had to rewrite the current book I'm working on, twice; once to change the plot entirely, and once after my hard drive failed. The current project would've been finished by now if not for those lol.
In fact, this project has taken me about seven years so far, which is far past my personal standard, but not the longest I've heard of.
I'm an artist, and I am with you, when the thoughts of.. omg is gonna take so long, so tedious, so boring, etc...
I remind myself with a "just get lost in the moments, this is what matters, just focus on the paper, the pan and the creativity".. and I come back to reality after like 5hrs lol
@@BoredPodcaster Don't forget, having a finished book out there, even an imperfect one, is better than never having made the perfect book. :') I hope it goes well for you though. I struggle with writing too, but for different reasons.
"This vessel hasn't been trained for it, so be it" amazing statement!
Theres a subtle component here, the act of introspection and reshaping your identity changes your goals as you find out what you really value. And that alignment makes action easy
A great observation. Looking at our associations with ourselves and where we lack, and choosing to stop associating the two... is a good step.
🎯
Don't introspect to the point where you never add anything new
Recap + personal thouhts:
When you say you "feel motivated", that is a feeling. This happens when you want to do what you are doing and you feel like you are good at it, you know you will succeed, you are confident. Whether you feel confident depends highly on your opinion of yourself. Often the lack of confidence comes from an internal belief in yourself. The belivef and you cannot do something/are not good at it. That you as a person, just cannot do that. Then of course naturally you have the opposite of motivation, you have self-defeat, you want to quit. After all why keep going, when you cannot succeed. The body and mind are very efficient and will cut off tasks that seems impossible. No reason to waste resources.
The key idea from this video is to challenge this percetion that you are not good enough. When you challenge that, you have no reason to doubt yourself. When you have not reason to doubt yourself, you think that you can succeed. Then it is worth trying!
How do you change this? Next time you are sitting down with a task and you feel the push back, just sit there. Observe it. Metidate on it. What does it feel like? Then think about it a little bit. Where does it come from? What part in you makes it impossible to succeed. It that part actually there? Spiler: it isn't there. You aren't one way or another. You are just you.
Your sense of self is an intellectual construction of your brain. It is not real. It's a framework of limitation that tells you what you can/cannot do. While often useful - you don't go jumping off building, it can be limiting about practical things you want to do. You can challenge that, and change it. You build what you are, you don't inherit it.
Wow
But I *am* bad at art, I *will* fail at making good art for a long time until I learn, and that's assuming I actually even start. Nothing other than action will change that. So what if it's part of my "identity", it's true
thank you
Dr. K still being the only mental health professional telling me to let go of the idea of accomplishment. Definitely needed that reminder again, I'll use this technique next time I'm spiraling into another funk.
Yeah, I feel the same way. I've casually read books about zen buddhism and the mindset that comes with it. The idea of letting ago of ego, or in my specific-context the "results-based mindset/product-oriented mindset," has helped me move forward. Whenever ego is out of the picture and you're just free to be, well you. It feels nice to not always be my worst enemy.
Dr. K contextualize things with a wider picture for me, so I don't feel so confused. Glad he's helped so many in the community and of course you too. Just want you to know that there's someone out there who shares your struggles and sentiment.
is definetly super counter to the usual advice of western selfhelp, but is neccesary if we want a more healthy society im glad he's kinda narrowing the gap and teaching more advanced stuff
every time I have the feeling I don't want to do something because I'm bad at it, I remember this quote I read on tumblr some time ago. "You can't become a skillful master if you're not willing to be a foolish beginner." It helps a lot with my motivation. Everyone who is good at something started somewhere, and that's okay!
Dr. K, you're one of the few genuine reasons I'm alive today. Thank you for all you provide us.
I know it's grim, but watching his vids are one of the few things keeping me from killing myself. Just gotta be honest. He's been so helpful ♥
@@tedsteiner real bro. I believe there is meaning but it can take so damn long sometimes to get out of certain positions in life. stay strong
❤
The feeling is mutual. I'm glad I found him a year ago @@tedsteiner
@@tedsteiner Doesnt matter what it is, anything that keeps you going is an amazing thing to have. I’ve been there before and can relate to your struggle. I hope you find your way out soon just keep holding out for that day because your current state is only temporary
02:01 🧠 When giving 100% effort, emotions align with the task and energy levels sustain the effort.
03:13 🤔 Saying "I don't feel like it" often relates to emotions, not logical conclusions; feelings of neutrality might still indicate an emotional state.
04:24 🕺 Emotional responses to tasks depend on self-perception; perception of self influences excitement or discomfort in engaging with activities.
07:35 ⚡ Optimal energy for a task lies in a moderate stress level (eustress); low stress leads to boredom, high stress leads to feeling overwhelmed.
09:55 🧘 Perception of self influences stress levels related to tasks; boredom can stem from perceiving tasks as beneath oneself, while overwhelm can come from self-perceived inability to handle a challenge.
13:37 🧭 Tracing lack of effort or energy in tasks back to aspects of one's identity helps recognize self-imposed limitations.
15:01 🧘♂ Meditation, with a focus on identity attributes, allows recognizing that these attributes are constructed and not inherent, leading to their release over time.
17:51 🌟 Releasing self-imposed identity limitations enables giving 100% effort by letting go of preconceived notions, leading to increased energy and emotional alignment with tasks.
thank you
Thank you!
Thanks man, it's just what I needed, post watching the video❤
I love this. Im sure you partially type it out to help yourself remember it, but you probably help so many other fans lock in the info as well
Or it's AI generated @@_WeDontKnow_
Hey man. Just gonna say it, I can't get enough of the positive, yet informative energy from this channel and everything you do. Im a 17 year old high school student aspiring to become a psychiatrist myself, and you have been a great inspiration for this goal. I've watched pretty much all of your videos, and I'm gald to have the opportunity to engage in this community and its goals. There's a lot of good that comes from this community, and from you, Dr. K. I can't put into words how much I appreciate all of you guys, and I'm hoping that this community continues to flourish. There's so much good advice from this place, and it has helped tremendously with writing a book series while handling my education at the same time. I don’t wanna ramble on too long, but seriously, thanks to all of you for simply being here, and making it to the next day. It means a lot for so many people.
I love everything about this video-the energy, the research, and the lesson. But what got me really excited was the mix of Western and Eastern teachings.
Honestly, adding monk philosophy made this video all the more valuable! Great job, brother🔥
omg hiiii your videos help me sm thanks a lot
Omg, hi! Thank you so much. 🙏🏼
It's always so wonderful to hear from you guys. I am glad you found our videos helpful!@@moransfan
I couldn’t agree more. I just found this video randomly and I’m so glad I did. I have been asking for signs from a higher power. It was delivered!🎉
@@miriamblanco6863 I am so glad you found the sign you were looking for! Hope you are doing alright!
Hiiiii ❤
Yet another instant classic for me to rewatch every couple of months and send to my friends when they ask for advice. Thanks dr k. May you be free happy and find peace
Haha, the last sentence it's what I thought right after this video, love this guy
I have an ongoing list of relevant videos for me that I share almost weekly with others. This just got added to the list.
Technique boils down to:
0. Be aware that what motivates or demotivates you is a matter of beliefs and your identity (see [[Cognitive Behavioral Therapy]], which relies on a very similar idea - not mentioned in this video, but useful).
1. Take a task you want to do, but "don't feel like" / "have no energy" to put in 100% of effort.
2. Take either of those statements and trace them back to your identity. (What is it about *me* that creates this emotional response? Some people would feel very differently about the exact same task. Some, even while anxious, could handle it differently. Write down what is it about *you* that makes it hard to do it.)
3. Once you have it, don't argue with those findings, don't try to convince yourself that's not true. Just become aware of it.
4. Sit up straight.
5. Take a deep breath.
6. (optional, but helpful) Chant "ohmm" 3 times or do some other centering practice.
7. Focus on your body. Don't worry about your thoughts (they're abstract, not real), just on what actually exists and look for that aspect of your identity. Is this a real thing within you, right in this moment?
8. What you'll discover is that it's not there.
9. Take a deep breath in, deep breath out and let that attribute of your identity go. "It's something I believe about myself, that isn't true in this moment, so I'm going to go ahead and let it go."
10. With repeated practice you should change who you are and become able of giving in 100% of effort to any task you want.
I have a problem with the "that isn't true in this moment" because it absolutely is true. Just because 1+1=2 is a thought doesn't make it false
Thinking is literally the only way to determine if something is true so if I were to ask myself to answer "Am I a human" without thinking of course I would find no answer with such a handicap
@@pedrosso0 Yeah :/ Also, in case you're interested: now, 8 months later, I'm still just as unmotivated as I was before watching this video.
@@michaw7408 so, this technique doesn't really work?
@@jorge5p361 It didn't work for me, no. But it could still work for you, maybe. Different people react to such things differently, under this video you'll also find comments saying how those tips helped them, so it's probably worth it to give it a try at least?
I wish I had a father like Dr K
I had bad performance on exams recently and it resulted in association of myself as failed student, and because of that i cannot really even start work. Seems like i finally get answers about my poor motivation and how to fix that!
Thank you Dr. K.❤
This is interesting. I had to be humbled before picking my life up. The downside about that was, when I realized how little I knew about life I entered a depressive self pitying state from where I could not get out for half a year. After years of lack of motivation, I finally learned to be on a self improvement mentality where I always think I can learn anything with enough time and grit
I'm the same, going through the years of lack of motivation right now! Thanks for sharing, I hope to get better at it soon
I haven't even done the exercise yet, but I immediately burst into tears as soon as the video ended because hearing all of this was like getting permission to let go of constantly telling myself that I'm a worthless, useless, stupid piece of shit.
I've been watching these videos daily and taking meditation, inward study, and properly fueling myself seriously for the past couple of weeks and I already feel a little lighter. This lesson really struck a chord with me. Thank you for all that you provide!
bang on, i feel I just figured something similar a couple weeks ago. I kept trying to do things in line with my ego. and then I realized that my ego was just an idea of what I should do versus what i actually want to do. I enjoy working but i also enjoy taking breaks and time off. I dont need to always be perfect. align your emotions to the task is what i think i started doing. so when i dont have much energy to do work, i do the easy work or take a break, and i trust that in time I will naturally come back around to the feeling of doing the work.
Notes for myself (limited context so I recommend others who see this to actually watch the video!)
13:30 Take a task
13:37 No energy or don’t feel like it.
13:43 Trace either those things to identify
14:10 What is it about you that makes you unable to engage with the task?
14:18 What about this is overwhelming or boring for you?
14:51 Sit up straight.
15:15 Take a deep breath.
15:33 Look within yourself for that attribute of identity. What actually exists within you apart from thoughts, emotions?
16:35 Can you determine if this is a real thing within you? Thinking is not real. E.g. psychosis
17:45 Melt away these aspects of identity
18:12 Regardless of identity, focus on what you can do
18:47 Let go of who you are
Where are you located Dr K? I'm a 27 year old Buddhist. Life is absolutely tearing me apart at the moment and it's beyond my control. I am still here because of my spiritual beliefs. I want to live, love, but I also want to suffer because that's what life is. You can't escape it. I'm a caregiver for my father with an aggressive form of Dementia. After 6 years, my mind feels like it's melted and my body is frail. But I still cling to life because I know who I really am. I just don't know how much more I can hang on. My own mind is failing me now. I can't sleep, I can't think straight and I know that's not who I am. I unfortunately also don't have the resources to help myself. I just need someone to truly understand me as a human being who's in intolerable pain (psychically & emotionally). You're that person...
That sounds so hard, I can't imagine what that would be like. That's a truly difficult situation that not many people your age have to deal with. I'm just a random internet observer but I'm glad to see that you understand that pain and suffering can be meaningful, and I hope you're hanging in there and holding onto the hope that better days are ahead, because I truly believe that they always are.
@@j0hnthe5th Thank you brother. It means more than you will ever understand. I have no option but to hang on. To cling to life even when I feel destroyed as a human being. To believe that one day, things won't be this. I have no option. I can't fail. My mother and my family needs me. LBD is such a horrible disease that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It's the most cruel thing I have ever dealt with and it never stops. It's like staring into the heart of evil evil in the eyes of the person you love and immediately you know they're already gone. It's horrible but it's taught me so much about what being a human being is all about. And it is for us to work on service to others. And I want to dedicate my life to that in one way or another.
Hope you're doing better, here's a heart for you Nergal
@@Nergal667hey how are you doing? It's been 5 months I hope you are doing good . I know it's hard but you are really a good person to help your family like that even when it's getting so hard for your overall health. I am cheering for you please stay strong I believe in you.
@Nergal667 When we have access to so many hours of a person's thoughts and advices, it can give us the illusion that they are the only one out there who could understand us. In reality, when we are in pain, what we THINK we need is often not what would actually help us the most. I was struggling a lot and I thought I needed to analyze my emotions so I could control them. It turns out that was the farthest from the truth, and only after opening myself up to a therapist who didn't seem to fully understand, I was able to break through. I hope you seek help where you can find it, and that it leads you to a better place within yourself. Hope you are well.
Holy crap. What a powerful exercise. When I felt what was getting in the way was the idea that I’m a failure. Even a lot of my accomplishments were framed to me and by me as failures. But I am not failure. It’s a concept but it is not actually apart of my identity.
This was one of the biggest breakthroughs I've had in my life. Growing up inattentive anxious and depressed my mind was in a perpetual state of anxiousness which qould cause me to always be defensive and unmotivated. When I finally learned to let go of my mind and allow myself to flow into things. It completed changed the course of my future and led me to the stable life I have today. The way you lay it all out here is extremely clear. Love that new haircut too.
Kinda same here. I also know that letting go of my mind is key, but somehow its impossible. So how do you let go?
It's really hard to type in words but I usually do it in the morning when I'm in the shadow. The gambit I use is one where I just some random sentence as an actor would recite a line. This creates an untightened mind.
To be able to do this I had to acknowledge certain sensations first to learn how to do this. First start by noticing the mental tightness you feel when you are anxious or in your head. (I feel towards the front of my head) Once you notice this, try loosening that sensation and operating from the back of your head. You know it's working when you no longer feel your find and you have a more intuitive sense of control of your body. I use the dialogue gambit because it makes it easy to recall this sensation, not because it has any inherent value on its own.@@Jonas-qf1cu
@@trollingisasporthey can i ask a question if you dont mind, what you mean by "... operating from the back of your head"?
It's a sensation. I mean instead of feeling the intensity and anxiety towards the front of your head, the sensation is from the back of head when you let go and operate more from a state of automation. @@pentingberhasil633
Love how all of these videos start with a premise, an explanation and then some sort of practical activity. Really feels like I get to take something away every time.
I have done the exercise during the video, and the "thoughts aren't reality" and "letting go of your 'identity'" parts made me cry. I'm not entirely sure why, but I think what I felt was relief; from my own expectations and judgement of myself. This is so freeing. Thank you so much.
I didn't expect this to be so healpful but the more I listen "those videos that are not what I was looking for" the more I learn most of my problems come to a sense of identity.
Sort of summary I created for myself, if anyone needs one (copy paste from a simple markdown file):
Whenever there is a task in which I feel like:
1. Don’t feel like doing it
2. No energy
**Try to trace that back to a sense of identity**
What is it about me that creates this emotional response?
Why am I afraid to do it, or anxious to do it?
While other people would not necessarily feel anxious as I am right now.
Or even if they were anxious, they may have handled that differently
Hence the question that rises is “What is it about me that I’m unable to engage with the task?”
What about this is boring, overwhelming, frightening for me?
It will be tunneled down to a sense of identity → the less complex the better → don’t try to argue with it + it doesn’t have to be 100% correct.
## Technique
1. Sit straight (spine, neck and head)
2. Look within myself for that attribute/aspect of my identity. Notice the experience of that moment, what exists within you, what are you.
3. You will notice thoughts.
However, thoughts are just thoughts, they aren’t real or make what we think about, real.
4. However, as for that attribute, could you determine in that moment, in 60 seconds, that this thing about yourself is true? whether it’s a real thing within you?
5. What you will find out is that it is not there, as it will all aspects of identity, they are thoughts, conclusions, abstractions.
6. As you don’t find that attribute within you, take a deep breath in and out, and let that attribute of identity go.
It is something I believed about myself that isn’t really true, so I’m letting it go.
## For Example
**Attribute - Sense of Identity:**
Am I smart? stupid?
**Final conclusion after deep inspection:**
I am what I am, I don’t know if it’s smart or stupid → I’ll just focus on learning and becoming the best that I can in that thing.
Dr K's new hairstyle is here to SLAY 🔥
Why specifically used car salesman?
If he made an alternative hair, skin and teethcare channel I'd watch it 😆
Man is leveling up in front of our eyes
Holy cow. There is an entire person under those gorgeous hair. I am watching for a year and only now noticed.
Nah, long hair is better on him
What an interesting video! Thank you! Just today, I discovered that it makes a huge difference to me what path of identity I follow. If I identify with the idea of becoming something like Jedi... like being perfect, never give in to temptations... then I become very critical of myself whenever I make a mistake and don't have compassion for my 'weaker side' and those of others. On the other side... if I choose someone like Uncle Iroh, who's comfortable with looking like a fool, enjoying the little joys of life like a cup of tea, offering compassion and understanding to those who need an open ear, being relaxed and still gives his full effort when needed... I feel light, joyful and strong and open to give it my best.
These points really hit home for me. I'm a classic case of stress=productivity. I have played violin since I was 10. But at 37, I almost never play. And now I am terrible. Last year, I was asked to play the processional at a family wedding, so I really got motivated and spent months playing every single day I could. As soon as the wedding happened, I stopped. With kids and a travelling job, I don't make the time for it because there's no ensemble or event to play for. This summer, I ran my first half marathon and then a 10k. I religiously followed my training plan. No matter how tired I was, how long my work day was, I was out there running my plan. Now that the races are done, the only thing motivating me is to not lose all of my progress before next season. I have used meditation before to help with back pain, stress, and sleeping, so I am familiar. But now I have to figure out what it is about me that puts up the barriers. And that seems like the hardest part.
Seems like you need to set goals to stay motivated
Perception of self
Influence on stress and energy
Changing identity through yoga and meditation
Practical techniques for reshaping identity
Practical application
Identifying and addressing identity issues
Centering practices like OM chanting
Letting go of limiting beliefs
Dear Dr. K and lovely people of the community. One of my favorite mantras, or something I really just repeat in my head whenever I think to, is: "Good things are allowed to happen to me" I feel like this is on topic. Hope this helps someone
I've written 9 pages of this lecture. I hope it will be helpful.
I think it's awesome how your own view of yourself can change the way you look at tasks. I have been assigned to a task that I don't even know how to start and got really upset about myself for not knowing what to do. Then one of my colleagues ask me how to do something in excel. I taught him how to do it and afterward, he called me a "wizard at this shit". Something clicked in me then, 'I am a fucking wizard! Yeah, that's right!". I then proceeded to do the project smoothly, it might not be the best but I have felt more postively about it. Understanding this, I now try to compliment every good thing I see in another person's work in the chance that it might unlock their potential to be wizards themselves.
Damn right! 😃 compliment yourself too, mate 👊🏼💪🏼
wow that really is powerful
Gringos in Brazil. As we, Brazilians, active try to encourage people to enjoy our culture they usually get a bit more loose. As most gringos think here is a "lawless sinful" land they also get more loose. That's why some people absolutely love it here, it's the only place on Earth where they've allowed themselves to be bad at something. The fact there usually are someone around who is more carefree that "doesn't belong" there and still has fun also help a lot. I'm more of an observer-commenter kinda guy and even I enjoy this easiness on getting loose
I don't know how to thank you, you are the only one who gave me awareness about daydream,
The first time when i indulged into that for 4-5 days continuously all the hours while listening music,
I thought I'm f*cked up, it felt soo ashamed and scary to actually tell this kind of experience to anyone (parents or friends).
Thanks doctor!🙏🏻💖
I've been adding so many Dr. K videos to this playlist to slowly work trough, by now I feel like I just as well go trough the whole channel.
I just got back from a therapy appointment that didn't seem to do anything for me. In the time it took Dr K to explain, I was able to follow along and boost my confidence in myself. Thank you for making this advice freely available.
There is a very narrow band of tasks that don’t either overwhelm or bore me… today I watched this, and tried it with tasks that I’d avoided due to overwhelm… IT WORKS ! 😮 🥳
Dr. K’s words are making me emotional for real. After a really bad patch I had, I’m putting myself on track and this kind of mindset is what keeps me motivated. Thank you so much, Dr. K. Thank you.
I literally opened youtube specifically to see if Dr.K had a video on how to be more motivated and this is the first thing I see when I open the app.
I've already clipped the: "Wow, this is an amazing opportunity, I can't believe that they just opened up a dance floor, it's: *TIME TO GO BOOGIE, LET'S GO!*"
Working on turning "Time to go boogie, let's go!" into a Discord soundboard sound.
Brilliant - especially the last couple of minutes. The simple powerful essence. "We are here to let you put forward a 100%" That includes it all.
I feel like this guy is one of the very few RUclips psychiatrists who actually know what they’re talking about instead of just claiming to. I even went to the web page he suggests. 👌🏻
the secret to always being motivated:
BURY THE LIGHT DEEP WHITIN
I tried the method where dr k said to write down what your thinking about or getting to. while sinking deeper into your structure of “i dont want to do this” then asking yourself why? Helped me exponentially right after watching and understanding
And it makes me more happy to see that other people here such as (writers-artists) or how ever they are. They got the point and it already made them (and me) a better person 👍
I love your videos cause you don’t just cite studies but you give easy solutions such as meditation and chanting which I find is what many people are missing. I’ve studied psychology in university and am in medicine and am astonished how few people bring up meditation
I started to let go of my identity and my mind said "You'll embarrass yourself" and I was like oh that's why my identity existed to shield me from that. Then I just kind of smiled and was like yeah I'm letting go lmao.
❤❤❤ i am a mum with a 22 year old son and I RAVE about you and tell any of his friends that will listen about you- the gamer psychiatrist. You are SAVING lives Dr K🥰
This video helped me realize that ADHD is not the real reason why I lose motivation very quickly...the real reason is that I don't believe that I'm capable of learning new things, which is an absurd belief because I learned several art forms and was also an A student....I am going to challenge this belief....it's true that I find it hard to learn things that require hand-eye coordination, but I did learn to paint and draw a bit so it's not impossible. Besides, I am trying to learn a language and improve my cooking skills right now, and those don't require really good hand-eye coordination at all. It's important to question beliefs like this, and I am glad I did, because I otherwise would have kept using my ADHD as an excuse.
Wow, I had a similar experience, and I decided to take ping-pong classes. I had no idea about it before.
Looking back, I remember all the negative thoughts I experienced (you are not going to be good at it because this requires attention and you have ADHD and so on).
The key is to continue doing it, no matter what your mind tells you. If you stay consistent, even if it's not perfect, you will realize everything is just a matter of time and practice.
I also learned to forgive myself for not knowing. Hope this helps. Good luck!❤
I just want to leave a thank you. I have been working on my mental health since 2020 and I started being able to work on myself over the year after I left the Marine Corps and was waiting on va care. You opened my eyes to a massive amount of information I had no idea about. I have a long way to go with my motivation so this is perfect timing as I am coming out of depression!
Do a keto diet to „cure“ your depression
Certainly! This is such an insightful discussion on motivation! I've often felt the same struggle, especially when I have big projects looming over me. It’s like my brain switches to ‘I don’t feel like it’ mode, even though I know I can push through if I just shift my perspective.
Your emphasis on identity and how it shapes our emotional responses is spot on! I’ve found that embracing my awkwardness, like you mentioned about dancing, actually opens up new experiences for me. Plus, it reminds me of the Sense of Humor Improvement Program by Habit10x-it’s all about enjoying the moment! Keep pushing forward, everyone! 🌟
Did not proceed with the solution but after having the problem addressed now I just do a mind check before each task, if it seems to be easy/boring I will give just 20% effort to match the difficulty. Worked pretty well
This is the first time I’m getting a Dr. K advice where I’ve naturally had some recent experiences applying that sort of thing and am in the middle of a mindset shift atm so very validating!! He’s spitting truth I can confirm.
It's the sympathetic nervous system. Once a person has activated a percentage of their fight or flight system they are better at suppressing self doubt and the inner critic, while having more engaged focus and mental acuity. It comes at a cost though: burnout and unresolved emotional suppression. . The human brain is not meant to be in fight or flight mode for prolonged periods of time. However our institutions of education and labor are predicated on students pushing themselves into states of mind that evolved to process threat... what is the threat in education? Allowing peers to attain more resources than you because they received better grades. This is why we see credential creep at the absurd levels we have today. Too many people pushing themselves too far for too long with the idea that this is making them smarter and more enlightened. The amount of Adderall on college campuses is insane.
College is a scam
"Allowing peers to attain more resources than you because they received better grades."
What's with this passive voice? You're completely decentering the peers who are working harder or are otherwise putting in the work required to perform better. You're making a salient point but we don't have to do it on the backs of our most successful and productive individuals in academia.
@@Yuvraj. I'm not diminishing another person's hard work by stating that an institution which pits one person's hard work against another person's hard work instead of training them how to work together is an oppressive system. I'm also saying that people who thrive in a competitive environment are more likely to be narcissistic and psychopath - which is why CEO's represent a higher percentage of psychopaths. So this environment become inherently inequitable and even antagonistic to those who prefer to work with others instead of competing in isolation.
@@meinbherpieg4723 Your 'oppressive system' term is true in reality because of the 2nd point. The other one needed to see Brian Klass' Big Think episode about why psychopaths rule that actually renders the point of this video nearly useless, unless for those whose problem was just really themselves.
Anybody else can challenge me on that and the fact the word 'focus on what you can control' is a joke because some gets handed the cards they have next to zero control about just anything.
Saw the title and this is just what I need. Got finals coming up and my motivation has never been lower
do you worry about failing, or on the flip side what happens after you graduate? Both can mess with your alignment.
@@cory99998 The finals are more personal. Sort of expressions of how I identify myself and my purpose. One is an essay on cognitive sovereignty and empowerment in the evolving attention economy, something deeply personal to me since my mom became and anti vaxxer and passed away during the pandemic. And another is a mixed reality meditation experience for the quest 3. Also an expression of how I envision technology better representing the more human centric needs of people pursuing agency and guided emotional understanding. But my efforts have been mediocre, I feel like I'm playing catch up with all my work and I increasingly feel terrible about it. I need to snap out of it and just double down on these things. For context I helped lead the largest xr hackathon in the west coast a few weeks ago and that drained my first 6-7 weeks of the quarter. And my Thanksgiving break wasn't really a break. It was logistical management for how to move forward with the properties my mom left unresolved in Mexico. But, maybe this is a matter of mindset. I should be looking at all of this as an obstacle that's actually an opportunity
@@emmanuelcorona2478 imo its a matter of mindset/self perception as mentioned in the video but sometimes its also just........ burnout lol. which reading about what youve been dealing w without any proper recovery time is the logical conclusion. "if you dont decide when to take a break your body/brain will decide for you"
Great video. Thanks!
Man. I trully wish i have met you 10 years ago. But still i am thankful for everything you taught me and i am forever thankful for the gold nuggets of wisdom you share with the community ! Thanks for everything.
Loved this! I have noticed that I feel either tired or “I don’t want to” at work A LOT. I’ll go through periods of intense focus/motivation followed by days or weeks of struggle. Sometimes that then bleeds into my daily life, and I struggle to really do much of anything…even things I like, because I feel so tired. But then I’ll actually start something I like or think I’m good at - Can be as simple as exercise or just cleaning something…and that helps. I will try this technique of breathing/chanting and letting go of self perception. I am definitely one of those people who is anxious about not knowing how to do something 💯 and being depended on to get it right (that’s my job in a nutshell 😂). Appreciate you and this video!
I'm overwhelmed by having to start my first job search on my own. When I break down the huge task into smaller tasks, I can see where I'm lacking knowledge and need to look for help (internet research and resume examples).
Every time i watch it ,i love it❤
This is what I need to learn at my point in life. Thank you Dr.K
I started thinking about the physical tasks that I could perform in a 60s timeframe and it felt like a very powerful positive reversal of the idea. I am a good skater because I have worked to be able to do that. I get to internalize that as part of my identity.
Really Appreciate your efforts Dr.K👍
Eustress
Sense of Identity
Perception of the Self
Arousal system - hpa axis
Sense of self
Constructions
Intellectual/emotional conclusions
Cognitively reshape
Centering practice
Thoughts are not reality
Attributes of Identity
Thank you, Dr K -- another exceptional teaching!! Can you please suggest a starter book on the yogic philosophy that you share? Thank you, again.
telling yourself you can do everything is a limitation because it tells you you can't do nothing. and sometimes the things you have to do are worth nothing to you.
Hey
Love your videos, man. This is so helpful!
as someone struggling with motivation in medical school, this video was much needed
This was so helpful, Imma try this out! I always say that my inaction comes from my ADD and anxiety but honestly, I don't think that's all of it. I think the ego has a lot of blame too!
This reminded me of a RAIN acronym in mindfulness. *R*ecognize - *A*llow - *I*nvestigate - *N*urture / Non-identification.
This is probably the best video in dr ks inventory
One big takeaway I had from this and I want to share it is - There needs to be 0 emotional objections on your path to what you want to do. As long as there are objections and blockers - you will have a harder time achieving what you want.
These blockers and objections can be subconscious and you can easily miss them. If you're really having a hard time, think about talking to a psychologist, as we're limited in our own perception and rarely objective when it comes to what we think, do and feel.
i have been here. Talks about that perception of self controls the energy componenet and emotional componenet combined with the level of arousal and stress. So the perception literally controls the amount of energy required because brain will do braining and reject a task after doing the energy conversation calculation if too much stress is involved. If it feels overwhelming try imagining how bad you could do it and settle with it or how would X person would have done it and how would he have reacted with his worst performance
for me a game changer was having a friends and doing stuff with them idk I'm just a totally different person since I have friends
I actually start caring about things
I Don't usually take the time to leave comments but I wanted to thank you for making some of the most genuinely helpful content Ive ever watched.
I love when Dr. K introduces eastern concepts and practices, they are of great value. I would also complement this with some older videos about Dharma, something that is really worth considering.
Gotta appreciate how 4RBT handles recalculations, always fair and quick ⚖️
I really appreciate you breaking down the psychology behind why we do certain behaviors. Great stuff.
Thank you Dr.K
I'll post a detailed answer later but in short while I agree with what Dr K said, these realizations are literally rage-inducing in my case. I've once discovered I've been stuck for years (mostly) by my own doing, but it's upsetting to rediscover it once more after conveniently amd predictably forgetting about it.
You are inspiring countless individuals and it's awesome
thank you doctor K, you just encouraged me to invest my savings in my first coffee shop!!! 🎉😍 (i don't know anything about coffee)
I noticed his videos is getting more raw. Like the "why no fap is so hard" video. Finally, somebody is feeding into the other side of why some men are feeling and acting this way and why that is. Lord knows when that cold wind blows, it'll turn your turn your head around.
This channel is changing my life
this is one of your best videos so far, thanks
Excellent video, Dr. K! Thank you.
The Anakin Skywalkers to visualize the “friends” killed me lol
@@GrippeeTV had me dying
Great video! Thanks. I'll try. Makes a lot of sense!
I am a PhD student and I think this video helped me understand how imposter syndrome feeds into how overwhelmed I feel. I think by recognizing the skills I have learned and giving my innate curiosity the recognition it deserves I might finally start to achieve what I’m capable of 🤔😮
This is quite helpful, I rarely skip your video recommendations. you're doing good work, appreciate it.
By far one of the best pieces of advice, I’ve ever heard watching this channel. Thanks again, Dr. K!
Dr. K as an indian who is struggling with accents can you give us some insights on how did you learn the american accent and above that THE SWITCH BETWEEN THE INDIAN AND US. Love your videos big follower!
This is such a good video. I've learned so much from it and will put it to practice from now on.
Thanks, Doc!
"for the purpose of this demonstration, you have 4 freinds and all of them are Anakin Skywalker" xD
This was very helpful Doc, Please continue to share with others your wisdom.
This is really related to what the book "Mindset" is about.
Editing has been very on point recently
super valuable advice here, thank you Dr. K
I was literally just thinking about looking for something like this and boom HG provides beautiful thank you very much Dr.K ❤
Man!, you are brilliant Dr. K