Can people CHANGE?: understanding radical transformation
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- Опубликовано: 13 июл 2023
- As a psychologist, I'm often asked the question as to whether people can change. And since people are always in a constant state of change, I take this question to mean: "is radical personality transformation possible?" And my answer is: yes! However, it is typically only possible once people hit bottom. In today's episode, I make the case that my favorite musical, "Les Miserables," is actually a protracted examination of this question. Is Valjean's transformation legitimate, or will he forever be Javert's escaped convict, 24601? Let's take a look.
"Valjean's Soliloquy": • What Have I Done? | Va...
"The Confrontation": • Les Misérables (2012) ...
"Stars": • Les Misérables 2012) 1...
"Javert's Suicide": • Les Misérables (2012) ...
@LesMisBway
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #lesmiserables #transformation
As a psychologist, I'm often asked the question as to whether people can change. And since people are always in a constant state of change, I take this question to mean: "is radical personality transformation possible?" And my answer is: yes! However, it is typically only possible once people hit bottom. In today's episode, I make the case that my favorite musical, "Les Miserables," is actually a protracted examination of this question. Is Valjean's transformation legitimate, or will he forever be Javert's escaped convict, 24601? Let's take a look.
"Valjean's Soliloquy": ruclips.net/video/pJx1pRCey78/видео.html
"The Confrontation": ruclips.net/video/9jfRE_FljrE/видео.html
"Stars": ruclips.net/video/dfoJEYicu7c/видео.html
"Javert's Suicide": ruclips.net/video/IsZdfna1LKA/видео.html
Social Media
Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/
Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks
Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
Orion's Theme: ruclips.net/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/видео.html
Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993
Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community:
ruclips.net/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin
Book a paid consultation:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations
Sponsor an episode:
oriontarabanpsyd.com/sponsor-an-episode
Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com
Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #lesmiserables #transformation
I have been saying this for decades. The best example that comes to mind is that this is why I don't give money to homeless people. You need to let them hit rock-bottom to have a chance to change their destructive habits.
Either my RUclips stream is broken or God is knocking on people's doors with utmost intensity lately. Rejoicing at you preaching the gospel! Praying that you would also partake of the medicine you offer to others, Orian! Thanks for sharing an incredible episode!
Brilliant analysis sir thank you so much.! Would love to hear more of your ideas told through the classics!!!
As for men, usually two events can trigger a massive personality change, apart from a near-death experience: losing a fist fight and getting their heart broken.
Both are important learning opportunities.
When I was 12, the school bully who picked on everyone picked on me. To this day I have no clue what happened that day. I was always as skinny as a toothpick, i can't imagine what I looked like at 12 lol he was about 2 inches taller, built like a linebacker. He came over to the corner me and my friends were in, as I was telling jokes like I always do. There was no where for me to go and without provocation he pushed me into the wall.
Like I said to this day I have no clue where that power came from, but i hit him with a two combo, before I knew what was happening I was on top of him elbowing him which ended up cutting him, and I only snapped out of what seemed like some trance when I saw his blood everywhere. To me this seemed like 2 seconds but everyone was telling me it was longer and safe to say, he was never seen again.
At school he was a shell of himself, barely spoke and even after I went up to him and shook his hands and said no hard feelings, no change. He kind of just disappeared, never came to the playground in the evenings, never saw him walking around with his friends like he always did. Nothing.
@@neoreign I had a similar, but less violent experience at 13 - this guy had picked his way through the class, intimidating all the boys in turn - till he tried me. I got right up in his face - not saying a word, just crazy eyes, nose to nose. We stood like that for about 20 seconds, till he gulped, which I saw as weakness - so I just narrowed my eyes and tilted my head. He backed down and stopped attempting to bully people in my presence. It was low key, but it instilled in me a sense of confidence that I carry to this day.
Had all three of them! 🤣🤣💪💪💪
Worked for me.
There is no Saint without a past and no Sinner without a future
Nice
My past is a Saint 😇
Nice saying but only if they actually want to.
Wishing someone else to change is a waste of life.
@valdius85 That's stoicism- only focus on what you can control.
Oscar Wild
People only change when they have to and on their time. Do NOT ever place your happiness or well-being in the hands of someone else's ability to change for the better.
If ever.
DEEP
_"You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start now and change the ending"_
Either hitting rock bottom or simply taking responsibility. Anybody who takes full responsibility and accountability for their actions (that have caused themselves and others suffering) will change.
Wow! Great point; thank you! Agreed!
I think responsibility is initiated by and catalysted by
Rock bottom
Good way to put it. I don't believe that anyone is beyond change, especially if they recognise how harmful their actions were and try to make amends for them.
I completely agree. I am owning all my BS and unfortunately some people don't understand and this video is helping me explain my choices. I've started a complete life change and it just feels better. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY!
Yes taking responsibility also works for huge life change. Takes lots of internal work and time but does work.
The two devastating statements in this video that jerked my tears are: 1) the "you're not fooling anybody: once a depressive always a depressive" self-destructive monologue, and 2) Javer getting "ensnared" in his own absolutist worldview which then destroyed him.
Every morning I battle the demon of the old consciousness I used to have. It is revived by sleep after I'd successfully defeated it the day before. Every morning it comes back to life, and I replace it manually with the new consciousness I've built via mental/emotional work.
I'm winning this battle specifically because I realized that by having previously convinced my nervous system that "the truth is the truth and I mustn't shy away from it," I mistakenly trained my nervous system to refuse any change and call it a hoax because "once a depressive always a depressive." By combating this pitfall, I dodge the ensnarement of my own outdated absolutist worldview, and this leads you to realize that WE ONLY HOLD ONTO THOSE LIMITING BELIEFS OUT OF EGO, OUR EGO IS UPSET AND IT USES THAT BULLSHIT AS A WARM BLANKET OF SELF-PITY.
No more. I value my happiness and progress more than I enjoy self-pity now, I'm shedding this pathetic coating off of me. I'm looking forward to the warm blanket of love, instead.
Change is difficult because every time you do something you are technically practicing it whether it is intentional or not. You are reinforcing the neurons which perform that task and embedding it into the subconscious. Change requires repetitive conscious effort outcompeting ingrained subconscious behavior whether the behavior is thoughts or actions. Change is easiest when the motivation for it becomes more uncomfortable than the conscious effort required to initiate and sustain it which is typically why telling someone to do something you perceive as beneficial to them works less than letting them suffer the consequences of their current behavior. Unfortunately many times when you reach the point of suffering consequences that make you want to change, those consequences have already made irreversible impacts on your life.
"letting them suffer the consequences of their current behavior" This is what i do, i know they will suffer for their actions but i wont tell them in advance coz they don't want to listen.
Nicely put
Massive pain or trauma is an extremely fast change agent. Seldom for the better though. The neurochemistry of this trumps slow learning. Psychedelic assisted reprogramming may hold some promise of rapid beneficial change ???
Is this why the negative mental suffering projected by our conscious mind is supposed to help us avoid it in the first place instead of experiencing it with consequences ? So it serves a purpose, even if it makes us miserable.
... But then you can get a new life.
Pain is a great motivator, usually people get to a point when the pain is too great that you have no other choice but to trudge a different path
There are a handful of RUclips channels which make quality content right when you need it. This is one of them. Thanks, Dr. Taraban.
I'm a very, very different person in 2023 than I was in 2000. Most of the changes came from life experience, hard times, education and personal growth.
For me, change meant taking ownership of my self and not lay blame on others. Thank you so much.
All I can say is , as someone diagnosed with BPD at 22… it takes a lot of effort and intention to change… at 44 years old I am much more stable and consistent… whether it would have happened anyway due to aging and maturity, I’ll never know… but it feels much better to be stable than up and down and all over the place
How hard was it to change? How intentional was it? Before you were diagnosed do you think there ever would have been a hope of you figuring it out?
Frued said, "People do not change. They only become more of what they are." I believe he was correct in his analysis.
I changed myself radically. When I was about 12 I had this realization which was my first experience of enlightenment. The realization is that I had been lead to believe false things. This lead to question my entire reality. I started deconstructing my reality completely, until I was staring into the empty abyss of consciousness without a constructed reality. I sacrificed everything. No identity, no beliefs, just unconstructed reality. For a long time I didn't know what to do, and found myself in a situation where everything I constructed would simply deconstruct back to this empty consciousness. Eventually I realized that my true self was never what I constructed, but I am the abyss.
what
@@BasedRedemption
It's a story about self-power and free will. It means that we are not the ego we construct, but the creator of our ego. Essentially, reality is a simulation that we use to adapt to our external world.
Most people believe the inversion, which is that they are the creation, not the creator. Pretty much all mental illness is a result of this inversion to various degrees. When people don't believe they create their own reality, but their reality is determined by external things, they seek control and power over external things, or feel powerless as a result of external things. However, since we create our own reality, this external control or power doesn't satisfy the need for internal power.
Essentially, psychology is just a practice of teaching people how to create a better reality by creating external influences that bring about creating a better reality without the person having to gain the realization they are the creator of their reality.
The reason everyone doesn't know this truth is because we live in a world run by people who believe they can control the external world to create a reality for everyone that is ideal. As you can imagine the people who do this are not creating their own reality, cannot teach it, and probably despise people like myself because I am an external element they can never control.
@@FullCircleTravisNEEDS TO GET PINNEND
@@FullCircleTravisthis is correct. Reminds me of Unabombers manifesto, part on the Power Process
Did the Buddha or Jesus Christ teach this?
I agree! All people change by getting more entrenched in their ways and habits tending towards entropy. Trauma and crisis changed people for the better or worse.
Every time I think you couldn't be more brilliant...I watch another one of your shows..WOW! I never thought of Les Mis like this. I always saw it as an allegory but DANG! The old testament and the new one..wow you BOOM! blew my mind!! GENIUS!
Seen plenty of your videos lately, but this may be the best one. The literature references are priceless. Read all dostoyevski and les mis was one of the few books that manage to resonate so profoundly to make me sick to my stomach in some parts. Great stuff
The vast majority of people don't change, they just get better at hiding who they truly are.
I don’t think most people truly realize who they are
@@brianmeen2158THIS
@@brianmeen2158 True indeed.
People think that they are their personality.
Bingo my friend. My life’s work placed me face to face with people who’s only goal was to lie and manipulate. What I learned is that everyone knows the truth and most people will do what ever it takes to avoid it.
Probably one of the best episodes on this channel. Thank you.
As a recovering addict, this really hits home. Excellent breakdown of the story. I needed to hear this, thank you
Holy shit, this was so well articulated, You have a gift doctor, please never stop making videos. Thank you.
I have watched many of your videos and think that this is unequivocally the best one that you have made and may ever make.
I think the core essence of a person does not change, e.g. optimistic, pessimistic, extrovert, introvert, neurotic, etc. But I think you can slightly change within your limits, e.g. someone slightly pessimistic / introverted, can become more pessimistic / introverted after a bad divorce, etc. I think there is a lot of truth to "a leopard never changes its spots".
@@bernardbutler3720 I think, at the individual level, there are some people who can make a significant change. However, I think the more interesting question is what happens in general to most people. I think, in general, most people remain the same core genetic person but just change slightly based on the spectrum they are already sitting in. When I think of close family members who I have known over decades they are still all broadly the same people and do not change radically. This seems to be the accepted belief within psychology. I also think it becomes harder to change as you get older: "you can't teach old dogs new tricks".
The core essence of a human being is not their personality. Personality is built and acquired. However, low sentience people take their personality to be themselves. Those people, without raising their consciousness, will remain in physical cycles (samsara).
I think whatever you believe will turn out to be true. That's what i take from this video
You post, I watch.
We got a good thing going doc!
⭐️
Wow Orion, you're incredibly smart, witty & genuine. Love your content, these words need to be spoken 🙏
Thank you for releasing these videos in the morning just in time for my morning coffee :)
Im a recovering addict with 8 years clean. I can attest to hitting bottom being a catalyst fir radical change. Im so very greatfull for everything my life has become. Thanks for this great content.
How is this not the most popular channel on yt?
Dr. Taraban ingeniously weaves literature and history with psychology and self-improvement. For men who need direction, insight, and growth these videos offer a more wholesome perspective and rebutts the current manosphere trend that is short-sighted and dangerous
Agree, this channel deserves more subs! It does not have that however because it calls for introspection, something much harder to do than pointing fingers, which the other channels are good at doing :((
Because it's truthful. People come to yt to have their existing assumptions validated, not challenged.
Dr. Taraban is just awesome.
Incredible movie, I don't even remember how many times I watched it. Your investigation made me understand the psychological conflicts behind the story much clearer. This is one of the best video from you imo.
Dr. Taraban, I am so impressed with your analysis - chapeau bas!
Wonderful dramatic description of the story. Now, I want to see the musical. Thank you.
What a fantastic analysis of a classical work. I thoroughly enjoyed this and was quite moved
Great video! I’m 970 pages into Les Miserables right now. I was taking a break from reading it, but this perspective makes it even better and more comprehensible. Thanks!!
This was an absolute masterpiece.
I find the people around you can often be the biggest barrier to change.
Amen! They really are the biggest barrier! I was taught this while I was in the midst of an Anger Management program. They spent a fair amount of time preparing us for the 'backlash' from family and friends who would be unsupportive at best, or downright skeptical at worst.
Ahh the blame
Fantastic video Orion, just what l needed to hear at this moment in my life 🙏
I truly enjoyed the reference to some of the greatest works of art of one of the greatest writers. I'd like to see more of that in your next content. Thank you
Most people don’t change unless the pain of status quo exceeds that of the change. Radical transformation comes with radical change only. I made a radical change after divorce and bankruptcy after hitting rock bottom. Today I’m even more successful then I have ever been. I made a radical change for one yr after hitting rock bottom waiting up 3am for one yr eating healthy and being in solitude.
Here is a question to everyone: if somebody good becomes bad, does that always make them a bad person? Wouldnt their "real" self be a good person who just made a mistake?
It seems like it only goes one way. If you do bad then you're always a bad person even if you change. What about the ofher way around? Once a good person always a good person?
Amazing video about transformation linked to one my favorite literature masterpieces, keep up the good work
Amazing episode, Doc. Your best!
This is the best one, I think, so far. Thank you!
Mahn you have such a unique way of conveying information..❤
Fabulous analysis of Les Misérables.
Victor Hugo has long been one of my favorite heros of social change and it was a very personal and spiritual moment for me to visit his tomb in the Panthéon.
However, I never got past the first 50 pages of the first book of Les Misérables (in French). Your brilliant analysis has inspired me to return to that task once again and learn first hand all he has to teach.
Thank you.
Good video. Crime and Punishment is another good book with similar themes, I personally found it to be an easier read.
Crime and Punishment is underrated. The Mayor of Casterbridge deals with similar themes. And if you get a chance to see "The Claim." You should. It's fantastic.
An amazing book to reference. One of the all time favorites. Didn’t know about the musical.
Thank you
Amazing perspective!Thank you so much.
Fantastic video and analysis! The characters' names are pure genius! My favorite video so far! 😊 I loved the longer video this time. Please make more videos like this! I suggest an analysis of Phantom of the Opera! 😊
Good morning. You are so right on this issue of change. I wish I would have found your videos many years ago. Thank you for your videos I will be sharing with many friends
youre gonna be at a mil subs no time lol knew it from soon as i found this channel whenever that was. you're putting out gold.
I remember my Mom and I going to this. Really the only musical I’ve ever been excited for, really great story.
That was amazing never understood the story that deeply before thank you.
Les Mis is my favorite musical too. How all the characters intertwine and their different personalities move them forward in the story is fascinating. I've seen this show in various professional productions over 100 times and each time I gain a new insight into one or more of the characters. It would be awesome to go with the Les Mis theme and examine the interplay of other characters in the story.
Suggest reading the book or audio. A masterpiece of insight
Wonderful analysis of the story and the musical. I love both. I think every man has some of Jean’s spirit in him. Change is always possible with some hope and determination. I’ve been fighting my own demons for a long time. Haven’t beat everything yet but made a few gains here and there 😂
Very astute and interesting. I've noticed that 'narrative identity' shift is crucial for real change, as you describe through the story of Les Mis. Allowing ourselves to move beyond the self-imposed boundaries of the finite games we choose to play, which we mistake to be ourselves.
Bro , you are a natural at this . I enjoy every video . Thanks for bringing knowledge And wisdom to the people. 👌🏿
Please do more commentaries like this.
Helpful for me as I feel I recently made a misstep in the person I’m trying to become. My inclination in this error was (should I even admit: is) to take a step back towards one of non-redemption.
Yet, I realize that the direction I have been striving is an act of will and there’s upkeep involved to not slide into such a trap!
Bravo.
This was better than Sunday sermon. Thank you!!
Very touching and insightful.
Bravo! This one was awesome. Very well done.
Now I have to watch the play (will probably find a movie).
Great break down! I’m already les miserables hearing how it goes down
This is a great analysis of the play, thanks!
Dr. Orion, This was beautiful 🎉
love how you’ve started to integrate long form content into the pipeline
Great explanation of les mis, thank you!
Change is harder when I’m this comfy living with my parents. Why change when I am taken care of? Food to eat, a place to sleep, complimentary car and car maintenance, most bills take care of… yeah. But I am in my mid twenties now. I don’t want to still be here at 30, so if I want to be elsewhere by then, I need to take full responsibility for moving my life in a direction I will be okay with.
My brothers did the same thing. I wanted to be on my own at 20. At 31 and 39, my parents finally told them to move out. My point is you are not a man until you support yourself. Stop being a coward and make it on your own. You will have a much richer life.
I'm new here, really enjoying the content being a bit of a psych junkie. Thanks!
I have to say, best video by far
Your videos have so much of Info that I began taking notes!😂
This story is formidable. I read it as a kid and honestly did not garner the deep philosophical underpinnings of it. Thanks for recommending this, I'll be sure to give it another read!
In the book Breaking the Habit of Being yourself Joe Dispenza explains why it is so hard to change. We form neural circuits in our early years which become “hard wired” in our brains - it is actually an observable phenomenon under fMRIs. So, when you try to change, you are up against this physical neural pathway in your brain. That’s why it’s so hard, according to Dispenza.
Dispense is the real world Dr. Strange. I mean that in the best possible way.
The part about admitting your former self is crucial. Thank you for your videos.
No meu caso não mudei a mim, mudei minha perspectiva do mundo e da vida. Pra mim, amadurecer não é mudar, é aprender a conviver consigo mesmo, incrementar as virtudes e aceitar os próprios defeitos.
Improvement is such a miniscule aspect of change.
As always in your vids, you are great at analysis, and saying, "this is the way things are," and not so great at the HOW. A super intellectual analysis of Les Mis characters. But not much about HOW to change, other than saying one must hit bottom. This is sometimes true, but often not true and is almost a cliche. But I guess when it comes to the HOW is when you suggest we schedule a consultation with you.
There was an exception to your overall tendency to tell us about the harsh reality of the way things are and then not tell us what we can DO about that harsh reality. And that was your video on handling rejection. It was still mostly analysis instead of giving a HOW, but it did offer a specific strategy: treat approaching women as you would a tennis game. That was a good video and did not just leave us hanging with your insightful analysis as the end point. I would like to see more like it.
Great episode
There is one story and it plays over and over again and that conflict in the human heart.
Absolute banger video. High level literature philosophy and psych verbal essay
Absolutely loved this ❤
Going through this right now myself and have been watching and listening and reading Les Mis since the early 90s. Spiritually JVJ represents the resurrected new testament vs the old testament (Javier). Another theme that runs in Les Mis is love in all its forms - philio, Eros, and agape. Brotherly love, unrequited love, love btwn parents and kids, erotic love, saving love, adopted parent love, etc and the agape love of God and like the final song says (spoiler alert).... To love another person IS to see the face of God. The whole point of the movie. Love. Or, h'opopono - 'i am sorry, forgive me, that k you, I love you"....
I have LOVED Les Mis since I was a teen - have seen it live 11 times, once in Perth Australia just because I could - it is SO relavent and am blown away that you use it in your work. Thank you!
“We are all 24601” 😮💨 well said…love Les Mis!!
Yes, we are all 24601-ESPECIALLY the people born on June 24th 2001!
This video made me want to read Les Miserables for the first time in my 41 years. Thank you!
Outstanding!!!
There's also a different kind of change that people long for, and it has a very selfish motivation.
Once I had a girlfriend that asked me: do you think people can change? But it was not because there was anything bad or evil in any of us, but she was not satisfied and she wanted me to change (my personality) for her benefit. One expectation of hers (never articulated) is that I would LOVE her family as deeply as she, yet she barely CARED about my family while I had demonstrated I cared about hers many times.
In the end the best she could do to reconcile her desire for changes in me with the absence of faults in me and her self-centered attitude was to affirm: I cannot make you happy and you cannot make me happy (an impossible objective). In other words, I must keep my fantasy and not look at the mirror at all costs.
Sounds like a typical woman! Very self-concerned and immature. And I am sure i dont have to tell you, but had you changed to accommodate her desires, she would have resented you for that as well! Then she would have left you and blamed you for it! i have been here as well! Women: you cant live with them, and you cant sell them to space aliens! What are we to do?
probably on of the best videos on this channel, doing god's work my friend
Of all the people I know, I'm the only one who can change. I hit the bottom a few times and came out as a new person. Not always as the better version of myself, but a different one anyway. This is what I understand as an ability to adapt and learn from the experience. And believe me, gentlemen, most women will never change since they stop growing and developing as a person in their late teens at best.
You can change by changing your environment: different job, in a different city, among different people. If possible in a different language, culture, climate, and social level. Humans adapt to their environment.
Dang it! I always worry about sharing specifics because if anybody that knows me currently, especially in my professional relationship or to see the consequences won't be worth the point that I'm trying to make. But yes absolutely, I have made profound change in my own life by working a 12-step program. I'll leave it at that
This was gold!
You can be both a good and bad person. You're a good person when you do good things. You're a bad person when you do bad things. If you want to be a good person, don't do bad things.
In the story, he is a bad person from stealing, which is socially morally wrong, and even more so for stealing from someone who had helped him. He would have had a defense if he said his punishment didn't fit the crime.
Darn I read Les Miserables twice and could never analyze it as well as Dr Taraban. Respect.. once more! As for ppls changing, I have never witnessed radical change, only baby steps.. but hey, the longest journey starts with one step.
A lot of comments from people saying they are totally different people than they use to be. I wonder if the people in their lives feel the same way. My experience is, those people have changed a lot less than they think they have. Most people don't change but they can become better versions of themselves.......sometimes, not often though. Often times they just get better at hiding, or justifying their behaviour. If you're a cheater, you'll cheat less. The justification is always, "I'm better than I use to be so therefor Ive changed." You're are just a different degree of who you always were.
Life circumstance has a huge role in justifying bad behaviour as well. At what point does an honest man become a thief? Hunger has a way to tame a mans pride. Different degrees of the same person.
Yes the saying power corrupts is wrong, power shows who has always being corrupted. People claim they changed but it can be that they just don't have the same opportunities
@@user-ek3fv3cy8j I dont agree with this, good people can be corrupt by power. Happens all the time.
A beautiful description of ego death.
That's excellent Orion.
Well that was amazing!
After 9 years being in a relationship that I thought will never end, a few days ago my girlfriend came up to me and told me that she sees no future in us, that i stopped chasing my dreams and stopped evolving. I admited it and told her that i am sorry i took everything for granted. In my head, only if one of us would cheat we would break up, meanwhile she worked her ass off, went to the gym while i was at home playing games and only went to work for a couple of days a week, not making that much money either. I was in a confort zone and i felt like doing nothing but wake up, eat, play and go back to sleep. I wasn't focused on real life and it s now when i realised how wrong that was. I moved away now and I still don t know where this is going. It s so frustrating to try to prove someone you can change only after they told u u re not good anymore, i don t understand why i needed this to wake up, but nevertheless, i m happy for a change ane glad she said what she felt. I just hope it's not too late and i can show her i deserve a chance.
I am going through that transformation now. Most interesting.
"There's nowhere you can hide, Spartan. Put as much distance between you and the truth as you want; it changes nothing. Pretend to be everything you're not: teacher, husband, [thunder], father but there's ONE, UNAVOIDABLE thruth you will never escape. You will ALWAYS be A MONSTER."
"I know [dramatic pause with single tear trickling down the cheek] but I'm your monster NO LONGER"