How to be WISE: accepting the gift that nobody wants

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  • Опубликовано: 1 авг 2024
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    In the course of my work, I'm occasionally asked how it is that I came to know what I know. I usually answer that, to the extent that I am wise, I became wise through pain and insight. Pain in the gift that nobody wants -- but if you learn to listen to pain, it will teach you some of life's profoundest lessons. In this episode, I discuss some of the obstacles that prevent people from taking advantage of the opportunity in pain, and how to use insight to accelerate your growth.
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    Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
    #psychology #wisdom #pain

Комментарии • 672

  • @danielfcastro
    @danielfcastro 10 месяцев назад +517

    Top 3 things men love to hear:
    3. "I love you"
    2. "You will get a pay raise"
    1. "Hi, I'm doctor Orion Taraban, and this is psychacks"

    • @flemutter7211
      @flemutter7211 10 месяцев назад +8

      That number 1 option now has a pavalov effect on me 🐶 .

    • @abubakarbalozi772
      @abubakarbalozi772 8 месяцев назад +4

      😂🙌🏽

    • @sayuri3917
      @sayuri3917 8 месяцев назад +2

      🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @kenalagbu5811
      @kenalagbu5811 7 месяцев назад +1

      😂😂😂

    • @Bazzguit
      @Bazzguit 6 месяцев назад

      Absolutely

  • @Camperlife4ever
    @Camperlife4ever 10 месяцев назад +703

    Don't be jealous of someone who's advice you find useful. It often means they have been in darker places than you.

    • @KingKemka
      @KingKemka 10 месяцев назад +22

      This is too profound

    • @ChrisPTY507
      @ChrisPTY507 10 месяцев назад +10

      Added to my quotes.

    • @darrylschultz9395
      @darrylschultz9395 10 месяцев назад +13

      The darkness of a place is inversely proportional to the profundity of its insight.😬🤙

    • @memcrew1
      @memcrew1 10 месяцев назад +5

      Why would anyone have jealousy for someone who gives useful advice? 😂

    • @neyson220293
      @neyson220293 10 месяцев назад

      ​@@memcrew1 I would say it's usually not about the advice itself; the problem is they don't see you as worthy, in other words, they see themselves as superior to you and therefore they are not even listening to the advice. It might be that they don't see the advice as useful and the very fact that someone has a different way of doing things deeply irritates them... if you spot them making use of the advice and they don't acknowledge that you were right, perhaps not with direct words but at least with a change of attitude towards you, then the last thing you want to do is reward them with more useful advice... bare in mind, if you are in a position of power and they end up following your advice, it might well be that they just want to avoid troubles and they still consider you a fool.
      my approach is: avoid giving people advice unless they've shown you beforehand that they hold your advice in high steem... if it's someone you really care about, who has a history of disregarding your advice, simply insinuate that you've been in that scenario and you found a solution to the given problem but it should be them asking you questions - if it's actually a serious matter, then go ahead and tell them the story of how you fixed the issue, if it's a life or death scenario then use whatever method you wish but make them listen.
      I actually wrote this for myself, disregard it if you wish

  • @SDsc0rch
    @SDsc0rch 10 месяцев назад +415

    The key is to remember this message when you're in the midst of experiencing intense emotional pain.

    • @DNA350ppm
      @DNA350ppm 10 месяцев назад +8

      I know, I relate to that. A note-book can be helpful, when you see the cover of it, holding the proof of your struggles, you know... - or a really good friend, if you have cultivated one - these will remind you, that you've fighted the negativity, you've solved the trouble, survived the pain, you did grow and matured, against all odds, and you've learned and opened up to trying new methods and paths, and assessed them, you've crawled in a ditch and you got up again, started anew, bruised but not extinguished, you have got up along with improved self-knowledge. It is very important to remember! It might give wisdom, but at least a sturdier self-confidence. Ask a friend to remind you!

    • @liviuursegr
      @liviuursegr 10 месяцев назад +9

      Being insightful and being "in the moment" don't really go well together. That's why there is retrospect. Self control is however always good to have and commendable, since not everybody manages to always keep a cool head

    • @ptyleranodon3081
      @ptyleranodon3081 10 месяцев назад +5

      I agree that retrospection is a huge factor in this. You're going to struggle massively to remember these things in the midst of emotional experiences at the beginning, but the more time you take to process through what happened, and how you wish you would have responded, the likelier it will be the next time that you will do better. That's where age does come into play. The wisest among us are those who have been practicing this for years.

    • @DNA350ppm
      @DNA350ppm 10 месяцев назад

      @@ptyleranodon3081 Among the "pieces of wisdom" one picks up while aging, is "the last word is not yet said" - one can get back, or try to get back, and give oneself a chance to improve upon a situation when one has mulled over it. Most of us can't shoot snappy repartees from the hip, and they might nor be very truthful, either. One might even make peace with one's memory of the dead.

    • @inconnu4961
      @inconnu4961 10 месяцев назад +3

      @@liviuursegr Very, very true, but you can practice these things before-hand to draw upon when times get challenging. Just like in the military ( I never served, unfortunately) you practice your skills (drill them) over and over and over and over again, until they become 2nd nature. That way, when you are under fire(under pressure) your mind & body simply reacts, instead of having to think about it.

  • @IfSemper
    @IfSemper 3 месяца назад +28

    "I walked a mile with Pleasure,
    She chattered all the way;
    But left me none the wiser
    For all she had to say.
    I walked a mile with Sorrow,
    And ne'er a word said she;
    But, oh, the things I learned from her When sorrow walked with me."

    • @Susan-fg3nv
      @Susan-fg3nv Месяц назад +2

      Scripture says it is better to attend a funeral than a party.

    • @JolinHard
      @JolinHard 19 дней назад

      @@Susan-fg3nvtell me more about

  • @juanjosebravo7854
    @juanjosebravo7854 10 месяцев назад +83

    "The cure for the pain, is in the pain"
    "These pains you feel are your messengers, listen to them"
    "The wound is the place where the Light enters you."
    - Rumi

  • @rb4421
    @rb4421 10 месяцев назад +118

    Really appreciate your insights. I once heard this saying "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."

    • @zetristan4525
      @zetristan4525 10 месяцев назад +2

      It's a nice contrast of concepts, but it's not really true. One just learns the wisdom to stop exacerbating and prolonging suffering. If you're an experienced meditator and someone tortures and murders your dearest loved one in front of you, you may then sit peacefully and observe "My mind and body are feeling pain" but you will come out of meditation and still get hit by some waves of shock at the cruelty and loss - even if you are deeply accepting of *everything* being impermanent.

    • @jim-se5xc
      @jim-se5xc 10 месяцев назад +4

      Sounds good on paper.

    • @laughingwolf330
      @laughingwolf330 10 месяцев назад +2

      Suffering is self created. Contrast is contrast and need not be altered. It is impossible to be always “happy” on the level of mind, but perfectly possible to be always at peace in the deepest level of being, and even to feel joy while sadness is also present. When you realize suffering is always the result of resistance, you realize you always have the choice to release resistance, and so not suffer or create further suffering. This doesn’t mean ‘escaping pain’. It means accepting that a painful experience is what it is, which when done fully, transmutes it into something that is not really different, yet is vastly altered - it is the same thing yet lighter, infused with grace and ease. Here you can go fully into the feeling without identifying with it; you can honor it completely by not making it so serious or personal. Holding the acceptance and awareness of what is happening in your Now, alongside the broader awareness of soul that nothing is, has, or could ever go ‘wrong’; that there is no ‘good’ or ‘bad’, no problems, only ever what is. Relating to both the mortality of the form and the immortality of the essence at once; allowing sadness and joy to merge as one. This is the incredible power of consciousness!❤🕊️

    • @Ponytown00
      @Ponytown00 10 месяцев назад

      @@zetristan4525 it doesn’t have to be True to be useful as an aspirational concept. Like a Platonic form, none of us can reach that true delineation between pain and suffering somehow giving us true control, but the spectrum exists.

    • @adamhowes6849
      @adamhowes6849 10 месяцев назад +1

      The paradox is that if you look into nature, animals are doing their utmost to avoid pain, we on the other hand?

  • @andrewlopez1906
    @andrewlopez1906 10 месяцев назад +191

    Pain and insight, completely true. I'm 41 and still learning this lesson, no matter how hard you try you will ultimately stumble and fall, and the cycle continues.

    • @herrguru4264
      @herrguru4264 10 месяцев назад +2

      Insight

    • @inconnu4961
      @inconnu4961 10 месяцев назад

      Tis always been; thus always will be!

  • @dillon9900
    @dillon9900 10 месяцев назад +150

    Going through a divorce and this video put everything my ex-wife did into perspective. Thank you for this clarity.

    • @thewiirocks
      @thewiirocks 10 месяцев назад +25

      There's a term from psychology that I just learned: DARVO
      Deny - any and all blame or culpability
      Attack - the person trying to bring the issue forward
      Reverse Victim and Offender - the victim in the situation is the one who's in the wrong, they actually victimized me!
      This is a fairly standard response that people use to make themselves feel better about their actions. It comes with heapings of gaslighting to make all this work.
      I'm really sorry about your divorce. While you'll find there are things you might have done better and you should learn from them, don't let her get away with making you feel that you are solely to blame. And if you yourself are trying to DARVO, take a step back and try to look at the situation objectively.

    • @darthbrooks4933
      @darthbrooks4933 10 месяцев назад +11

      Went through mine in 2018, it’s life destroying but it will get better my man, I promise.
      Just keep pushing forward and you’ll create something worthy of your potential

    • @1llm1nd
      @1llm1nd 10 месяцев назад +7

      Going through a divorce as well. It’s soul crushing, but I know I don’t carry all the blame. I hope to turn my immense pain into something positive.

    • @InappropriateShorts
      @InappropriateShorts 10 месяцев назад +1

      $10 and not even a ❤ from him 😢

    • @maxlogan7388
      @maxlogan7388 9 месяцев назад +6

      ​@@InappropriateShortsHe's obviously busy doing other important videos. The person who donated that $10, isn't crying about getting an emoji...why are you crying? Check yourself, mate!

  • @universe_experiencing_itself_
    @universe_experiencing_itself_ 10 месяцев назад +38

    “Pain is an opportunity to cultivate wisdom.” Thank you Dr Taraban

  • @tonybernard4444
    @tonybernard4444 10 месяцев назад +116

    I'm an electrical engineer, and a fairly wise one. I didn't gain wisdom from doing everything right the first time, but by finding my mistakes in the lab, figuring out what's wrong, explaining why it went wrong and then coming up with solutions to fix it. I've been on several projects that were already boogered up, and again, I'm troubleshooting, solving problems and finding things that should have been done up front to avoid problems or at least to make it easier for people to test the design later. So it's not just experience of success or pain of failure, but the troubleshooting, analysis, problem solving and eventual notes to future self that build wisdom.

    • @jim-se5xc
      @jim-se5xc 10 месяцев назад +3

      I dont think he means wisdom as in fixing electrical problems around the house. I could be wrong.

    • @BHB89
      @BHB89 10 месяцев назад +18

      @@jim-se5xc In my experience, learning how to learn is roughly similar across any domain. Lessons on how to overcome challenges in one field are almost always applicable to another field, even if the exact solution is different.

    • @diaahassouna5865
      @diaahassouna5865 10 месяцев назад +6

      As a Civil Engineer I relate to this and I can add that simply by changing your position from being an employee suffering from not having autonomy to being in upper management or creating a business for yourself is a factor that can accelerate your learning, insight and hopefully wisdom.

    • @Jason.Goldstriker
      @Jason.Goldstriker 10 месяцев назад

      @@jim-se5xcit’s transferable information don’t take everything so literally

    • @jim-se5xc
      @jim-se5xc 10 месяцев назад

      @@diaahassouna5865 i dont think it has much to do with being an employee and moving to upper management and accelerated learning and business management is about wisdom.

  • @secretshaman189
    @secretshaman189 9 месяцев назад +17

    Yes, loved the video. The buddhists say life is pain. Pain is a teacher because it is saying in a very loud voice, "Something important is out of balance, PAY ATTENTION!"

  • @qawal12
    @qawal12 10 месяцев назад +48

    God tier explanation. Thank you kindly, my friend.

  • @samwellington2330
    @samwellington2330 10 месяцев назад +41

    I feel the same way about pain and "negative" emotions. Sadness, anger, embarrassment, guilt, etc can hide some dark desires that can be scary to look at and introspect.

    • @emanueltrudeau4754
      @emanueltrudeau4754 10 месяцев назад +2

      Introspection is the key to wisdom i beleive

    • @Amoki86
      @Amoki86 10 месяцев назад +1

      Oh yes. And this is why shadow works is so seriously needed.
      Just a shame it take both humility and courage to look at your shadow and for it to look back.

  • @josephgrubbs6588
    @josephgrubbs6588 10 месяцев назад +16

    Not once have I ever watched one of this man’s videos and did not get valuable information that changed me on some level. I can’t say that for any other content creator on any platform. Please watch every video of his you can. If you’re open to his message you will be better for it.

  • @rexnakoki8385
    @rexnakoki8385 10 месяцев назад +68

    😢 As a former woke person (immature and irresponsible negroid adult female of the human race with a victim mentality who has anesthetised her pain (or tried to avoid it) most of her life), I must admit that your videos are painful to watch.
    🤝 But THANKS to this great opportunity to cultivate wisdom YOU gave me, I've started to stop cutting myself off from my embodied experience (gradually of course, because I don't want to deal with an overwhelming flood of accumulated pain), and to also practice insight on a daily basis (which is easier said than done 😅).
    💁🏾‍♀️ Now that I've swallowed my pride and clarified the chain of events that led to most of my experiences of pain, I'm making better decisions to avoid unnecessary suffering in the future. Therefore my mental models are increasingly coming into alignment with reality, which allows me to act with effortless effectiveness.
    😎 I'm currently reverse engineering myself. And for the first time in my life, I'm happy to be alive.
    🙏 God Bless You Doctor 🙏

    • @DuncanL7979
      @DuncanL7979 10 месяцев назад +7

      You sound introspective and earnest in your desire to work on yourself. Seems like you're well on your way to building yourself into a better person.

    • @yeboscrebo4451
      @yeboscrebo4451 10 месяцев назад +13

      I like the way you said “former woke immature negroid female with a victim mentality…”. Haha made my chuckle. Good luck with your quest. I’m on the same quest

    • @CoramDeo1977
      @CoramDeo1977 9 месяцев назад +5

      Hey, girl. Fellow woman here is also learning...God bless.

    • @verb0ze
      @verb0ze 8 месяцев назад +3

      We're all here because in some way, we're wanting to heal/grow. We chose to consume this content as opposed to the other millions of vids telling us that we're right to feel hurt in our wounds and that the problem is everyone else. Takes introspection to get here, so props to you for taking that leap. Best of lucks on your journey, though I suspect you won't need much of it because you're cultivating your own luck 👏

    • @dama301
      @dama301 8 месяцев назад +3

      Good on you - all the best on your journey, this is an exciting time

  • @2Oldcoots
    @2Oldcoots 10 месяцев назад +9

    Dr. Taraban deserves to win the You Tube Hall of Fame designation, if they had one for the most valuable broadcasts.

  • @DvDick
    @DvDick 10 месяцев назад +15

    The only thing I know is that you are on the right path when you can admit that you've been wrong. Sticking to the right path, that's the hard part

  • @MrSanchez159
    @MrSanchez159 10 месяцев назад +37

    i cant tell you how much these videos you make have helped center me and brought a calming presence to my inner monologue that used to be just hateful of everyone and everything. thankyou with every ounce of my being.

  • @damia7942
    @damia7942 10 месяцев назад +15

    Just went through a painful breakup on my end. And took these past few months to reflect and see everything I did wrong. Pain is definitely necessary to change.

  • @humbertoinfante9598
    @humbertoinfante9598 24 дня назад +1

    Yes Pain is the greates teacher .it will open many doors some not so advisable to walk trought and some that will show you how to transcend.

  • @stefanobesliu6458
    @stefanobesliu6458 10 месяцев назад +11

    Being wise oftentimes helps others more than it helps yourself.
    Its kind of ironic how through history some people had to suffer just for others to live hedonistically. The issue with wisdom is when it is granted to others but without the actual lesson itself. Most of us want to benefit from "knowing" without actually getting through the process of being "knowledgeable"
    And then there are always those who live much happier lives despite their lack of insight.
    Wisdom comes with a cost: being aware of the fact that you are never knowledgeable enough, and that we are always limited by our human condition. Its hard to cope with truths

  • @2Oldcoots
    @2Oldcoots Месяц назад +2

    "I am wise through pain and insight." Precisely!

  • @BeautiHacks
    @BeautiHacks 8 месяцев назад +5

    9:53 Exactly. You’re speaking my language here. When I was a kid I prayed for wisdom and understanding every single day. Just a few years ago I cried realizing that my Prayers were actually answered. I just didn’t know what it was going to take to earn it.

  • @mattvideoeditor
    @mattvideoeditor 10 месяцев назад +9

    As I always say, you learn nothing from victories. It is the defeat that makes you think forever about that moment. But when the chance comes, you will never miss again.

  • @TheNoboful
    @TheNoboful Месяц назад +2

    Pain is no stranger to me, and in recent years I have adopted a positive mindset towards it. I don't want to suffer for no reason, hence I listen and try to learn from every misfortune. Growth mindset in all aspects of life, Orion has really helped too. Sometimes it feels like masturbation listening to Orion talk because he's confirming so much of my thoughts and reinforcing my path and way of living. Much love, highly appreciate your work!

  • @tommiller7177
    @tommiller7177 10 месяцев назад +10

    "I wonder what the world would look like, if billions of people did not trust their own common sense." Spot on. Experience is the best teacher. Getting people to have experience is the difficult part. Great video.

    • @gsftom
      @gsftom 10 месяцев назад +2

      Lol 🙂. I think we are supposed to read between the lines with this comment.

    • @collinslagat3458
      @collinslagat3458 10 месяцев назад

      @@gsftom 2020-21

  • @raviom
    @raviom 10 месяцев назад +7

    Wonderful insights. If pain does not cause change, then it is a wasted opportunity. Suffering (Pain's partner) will surely follow.

  • @CanadianLoveKnot
    @CanadianLoveKnot 10 месяцев назад +2

    Probably one of the most profound videos I have ever watched, unbelievable

  • @melenico4512
    @melenico4512 8 месяцев назад +2

    Pain and suffering is the greatest Teacher.

  • @Dawnrunner42
    @Dawnrunner42 8 месяцев назад +2

    “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”
    -George Bernard Shaw

  • @Yasas_Madhushan
    @Yasas_Madhushan 3 месяца назад +1

    You are exactly more than a psychologist.. I can definitely say it being a spiritual person..

  • @GuyCorrino
    @GuyCorrino 10 месяцев назад +8

    As someone who had a painful experience a few weeks ago, as my girlfriend left me, I completely agree with you. Suddenly all those philosophical texts like stoicism that I've read for the last two years and also your videos (especially on inter-gender dynamics) make a lot more sense now. Pain is the best teacher. As long as you allow it and experience this "emotional gym" like you also said before. No more numbing anymore. No pain relief needed. I grow stronger every day.

    • @arianjnbz2009
      @arianjnbz2009 2 месяца назад

      bro is cooked, good luck moving forward

  • @pro5702
    @pro5702 5 месяцев назад +1

    My sympathies for the trials and dragons you've faced. It's truly admirable how you've alchemized those raw experiences into gold and pearls. You embody the hero who not only conquers challenges but generously shares the treasures gained with the community - encouraging others to recognize the transformative power within their own struggles.
    Heartfelt respect and gratitude.

  • @Ideophagous
    @Ideophagous 10 месяцев назад +3

    I've watched the full series by John Vervaecke on cultivating wisdom, but this has to best summary of its core teaching in my humble opinion.

  • @jonathanwilson672
    @jonathanwilson672 3 месяца назад +1

    You really went over board with this sing for your supper lecture Orion...i will continue to stick to purveyors of wisdom yours by centuries and still work for those who simply acknowledged their being or having been...great work however shining your clinical light on the nature of contemporary women...that enlightening preceded you as well.😊

  • @beegirl8884
    @beegirl8884 10 месяцев назад +140

    Most people aren’t willing to do the hard work of self reflection & ownership. It’s much easier to play the victim or keep your head buried in the sand. Not this girl. I want to be authentically me.

    • @stefanobesliu6458
      @stefanobesliu6458 10 месяцев назад +9

      Knowing more leads to you realising just how little you know about this world and just our nature as a whole.
      I envy those who manage to get away with being imature or less knowledgeable and have a happier life than me.
      Knowing the solution to some problems but lacking the audience to support you is definitely the biggest letdown.

    • @flemutter7211
      @flemutter7211 10 месяцев назад +2

      Go for it! The world needs the real YOU. ⭐️. You have a role to play!

    • @blastermaster7261
      @blastermaster7261 10 месяцев назад +5

      I admire how cavalier you are, but it's unlikely a woman has the self-awareness and self-control to gather wisdom.
      Buddha himself said enlightenment isn't possible for you.

    • @sealedindictment
      @sealedindictment 10 месяцев назад +1

      “authentically me” 😂

    • @ivanivan5511
      @ivanivan5511 10 месяцев назад

      Nice approach

  • @rachelh.5636
    @rachelh.5636 9 месяцев назад +2

    Yes…thank you so much for this post. Wisdom, the process of accumulating wisdom has been a gift for me. Even initially it has felt like a curse, I am so grateful for all the colors of pain I have experienced in my life. It has all garner humility, discernment, empathy (for self and others), and grace. It also has made me cognizant of the truth that some people aren’t able to see nor work with their pain…for whatever reason. I’m just grateful that in this life, no matter how uncomfortable, I was always willing. It has made all the difference.

  • @TephaRhi
    @TephaRhi 3 месяца назад

    Your teachings line up with the Buddha’s and you say it really well for modern people. Insight meditation is key. Understanding karma, cause and effect, is absolutely necessary.

  • @kelschc
    @kelschc 10 месяцев назад +22

    Another really insightful video, thank you Dr. Taraban. I’m reminded of an expression I recently heard, “If you don’t deal with reality, reality will deal with you.” I was curious if you had any additional thoughts regarding whit I think is the over medication of society. Instead of facing our pain and dealing with the reality or root of it, we live in an era where Doctors are too quick to subscribe medication. I don’t want to judge harshly because I do have friends who need certain levels of medication to function at a high level on a daily basis. It I do think big pharmaceutical has a role in this. A video for another day perhaps, but this one was spot on. Thank you again for your insight.

    • @MrBoxofplastic
      @MrBoxofplastic 10 месяцев назад +2

      Not to mention everybody who is on weed and opiates.

  • @marianhunt8899
    @marianhunt8899 10 месяцев назад +9

    Babies do know why they cry. They cry when hungry/thirsty, in discomfort or feeling abandoned or unloved. They cry hoping the adult in the room will meet their most basic human needs.

    • @DuncanL7979
      @DuncanL7979 10 месяцев назад

      No they don't, not until 18 months old.

    • @marianhunt8899
      @marianhunt8899 10 месяцев назад

      @@DuncanL7979 well their human instincts and feelings inform them what's happening. Instinct to physically survive kick in before reason or language. You're just splitting hairs.

  • @postmodernmining
    @postmodernmining 10 месяцев назад +3

    THANK YOU FOR USING "Models"! I've been trying to spread this frame for years. It works with everything we know about consciousness.

  • @ThickBrownCoffee
    @ThickBrownCoffee 3 месяца назад +1

    The insights my dad should've taught me but he didn't, thank you Orion.

  • @mikeleonel
    @mikeleonel 10 месяцев назад +4

    Great video! "The wind and waves always go in favor of those who know how to sail.” Self-knowledge is key

  • @artawhirler
    @artawhirler 10 месяцев назад +3

    I agree completely with everything you've said in this video! I am now 67 years old and I always say that wisdom is the product of experience plus reflection - not too different at all from your version, "pain plus insight". I like to tell my young acquaintances that if a person has exactly the same beliefs and opinions at 60 as they had at 20, then that person has basically wasted their life. Excellent video as always! Thanks!

    • @klaaspekala6804
      @klaaspekala6804 10 месяцев назад +1

      Thank you for this important enhancement to Dr. Taraban´s thesis: "experience plus reflection" puts it even better than "pain plus insight" in my opinion, because not only pain can grow wisdom when reflected and analyzed, but also an experience of success - maybe even more so! The question "just why did i succeed" is just as important as the question "just why did i fail". A fool will answer the first question with "because i´m the greatest, WHOOOHOOOO!" and the second question with "because the world is evil and everybody hates me, BOOOHOOOO!"

    • @Wen6543
      @Wen6543 10 месяцев назад +1

      Yes yes, reflection, to attain wisdom experience is not enough, the desire for wisdom and the effort, reflection, are also needed.

  • @equaltoreality8028
    @equaltoreality8028 10 месяцев назад +1

    I am Glad that it is not just Ayn Rand and Objectiviism who have figured out the link between Pain, if your in line with reality and wisdom.

  • @groopmmex
    @groopmmex 3 месяца назад +1

    I think OT is an artist... of psychology. The medium- life itself. A lot of these videos I like looking at a new painting😊

  • @akshaymani2624
    @akshaymani2624 10 месяцев назад +1

    Spot on about pain and insight. The greatest gift of pain is introspection, which leads to insights and wisdom..

  • @alexandervaldes7200
    @alexandervaldes7200 10 месяцев назад +6

    Thank you for your insight and experience. Today is the hardest day of the year. 9/11 First Responder. BUT thru years of pain and with a TON of recovery, I'm living an amazing life and no matter what the obstacle, I will be better tomorrow, next month and next year. Thank you! Mahalo!!

  • @alexandrucechi
    @alexandrucechi 10 месяцев назад +1

    This video reminds me of a beautiful quote I've heard recently. "The opposite of suffering is not happiness. It is clarity". Thank you Orion for this amazing video.

  • @rexnakoki8385
    @rexnakoki8385 10 месяцев назад +2

    "If you can't trust your own experience, what can you trust ?"
    So... SPOT ON !

  • @nem3sisenforcer928
    @nem3sisenforcer928 10 месяцев назад +1

    I’ve always believed that that it’s easier to fix yourself than to ask someone else to. Introspection is key, and a strong desire to get to the “why” of human behavior and circumstances that surround me.

  • @John-qt3vt
    @John-qt3vt 10 месяцев назад +5

    Absolutely enlightening. Pain and insight.

  • @christinecooper4256
    @christinecooper4256 18 дней назад

    "Pain is reality chiding you from having a deviant model" 2:36 So well-said.

  • @ryanschneer
    @ryanschneer 10 месяцев назад

    When I tripped really hard in my 20s, I had a vision that I died and went to hell in hell there were tons of well- meaning people that continually shouted f*** pain with the chanting being led by the devil. As soon as I heard this I prayed to God to let me out of there and pray to him to help me grow from my pain. My prayers were answered, and I was lifted into a sea of bliss during the trip. So thank you for this video. The idea of pain being a necessary evil for growth is something that I strongly believe so this really resonated with me.

  • @edwardyoutube
    @edwardyoutube 10 месяцев назад

    It's all about being able to catch the message that pain delivers and use it appropriately. Dr Orion is correct.

  • @Moon-gc2cv
    @Moon-gc2cv 10 месяцев назад +2

    Outstanding doc as usual.

  • @DNA350ppm
    @DNA350ppm 10 месяцев назад +10

    Kudos for addressing this very important topic! Well delivered message! This is a true psychological hack: try to handle pain with learning as a goal. As a reality-check. An other way of expressing this is - every pain has a message. If your company of people are trying to silent you when you are stuggling with the meaning of your pain - there *are* good books, they can teach, but you need to learn yourself. Shake me to the core did Viktor Frankl: Man's Search for Meaning. One such book makes 10 superficial friends redundant. If you are in deep pain, you don't need it downplayed - do take it seriously, and avoid those who don't. There is a lot of pain in the USA now. A tragic aspect of a lot of people suffering simultaneously is that there are few people who could help each individual through the hard times - all are overwhelmed, overburdened, on their way to be burned-out. Scared, hurting, and not helpful. It is good that we have help on-line. There could be groups of friends who watch information together, or read together, and talk about, open up about, and discuss issues that really matter.

    • @joesielskisr4911
      @joesielskisr4911 10 месяцев назад +1

      Today is 9-11 I bet a lot of people are still suffering from 22 years ago

    • @DNA350ppm
      @DNA350ppm 10 месяцев назад

      @@joesielskisr4911 I've been thinking about that, too. Especially of first responders and those who lost family-members. But also of people who lost faith in safety and security...
      What tragedies were you thinking of? Your own perhaps?

  • @Baulx138
    @Baulx138 10 месяцев назад +3

    I had a suspicion about this but im really glad you explained it clearly

  • @volkoff6357
    @volkoff6357 3 месяца назад

    I pay attention to the lessons I've learned but still regularly use anesthesia. I have several chronic physical pain and a pretty rough mental health diagnosis. I don't even remember what life was like without being in constant anguish. I can't even feel the love of the only person on earth who loves me unconditionally, my 5 year old son. The pain makes it very hard to have a relationship with anyone, including myself. Which makes it impossible to trust anyone, so I struggle to make the right decisions for myself because I never know what is best for my life. Some of us are doomed to suffer, and even George Carlin understood that death is the only thing that can bring us peace and freedom. If I'm lucky, I've got till I'm 65 before I use the Smith & Wesson retirement plan.

  • @femiogunjobi4900
    @femiogunjobi4900 6 месяцев назад

    You have a wealth of wisdom. Your channel has been a huge blessing to me personally. This video topic really opened my inner mind and let me see pain with a new set of lenses. I used to think pain was bad - to be avoided. Now I know that pain is a trigger God has equipped us with as a navigation to guide us in order to live a life of bliss. Never will I dread pain again or try to avoid it. I will never again complain about pain, but welcome it and move myself into action. Thank goodness for the roadmap to wellness - for my pain.

  • @GuyCorrino
    @GuyCorrino 10 месяцев назад +1

    Yes! I am in pain after my last breakup and I wouldn't change a thing. I have learned so much

  • @MrSlikky33
    @MrSlikky33 5 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for creating this content, for the world to see.
    Just…Thank You 🙏

  • @loudownunder2857
    @loudownunder2857 7 месяцев назад +1

    You've changed my life. Seriously. Thankyou. Keep doing what your doing.

  • @ninjanickysveganwellness
    @ninjanickysveganwellness 10 месяцев назад +1

    Such a great message Dealing with someone with so much pride has been a very difficult task

  • @Mustymustard887
    @Mustymustard887 9 месяцев назад +1

    While it does suck, pain has taught me many tremendous lessons. Lost my best friend in a bad incident while not being able to help him much or retain a lot of memory from that incident (coma or memory loss I guess). It was painful but it built me as a person: became really aware of myself and the surrounding, discipline and hard working, emotionally understanding, focusing on career and being good with what I do (medical field), fitness and health, etc. While it was painful, I’m grateful for what it has turned me into, a competent and ambitious person. Great teaching!

  • @maurisagubler3230
    @maurisagubler3230 10 месяцев назад +2

    WOW!! I’ve never felt so understood and yet alone all at once.
    This makes connecting with anyone who doesn’t have this awareness non existent.

    • @BHB89
      @BHB89 10 месяцев назад +2

      I don't think so. To connect with others we need to be humble and love them. Sure, they might not understand your pain, but it's by focusing outwardly and forgetting ourselves that we learn from pain and connect to others.

  • @JohnSmith-ks5xw
    @JohnSmith-ks5xw 10 месяцев назад +1

    Your deepest and most important video thus far imo. Bravo. Very important message. Thank you.

  • @klaas8912
    @klaas8912 3 месяца назад

    This is the one and the only video human needs ever

  • @chichaos
    @chichaos 8 месяцев назад

    "The seed of wisdom is curiosity about your pain and it's cultuvated through the increasingly masterful application of insight"
    Marvelous video. Thank you!

  • @stinkytofu5616
    @stinkytofu5616 День назад

    I'm not terribly sure about some of his relationship advice (what he assumes about women), but I find a lot of what he has to share to be really, really, really valuable nonetheless. I've spent so much time consuming self help stuff the last 8 years it's almost embarrassing, but I honestly have never heard the value of pain being summarized this well....and believe me, I've really come across a lot. I really love that he included how to implement the wisdom. I feel like richness of this video is worth a 500 page book!
    I hope to revisit this video on a regular basis to really absorb its message.

  • @christianbeleznai3351
    @christianbeleznai3351 10 месяцев назад

    I think this is your best video yet for me personally. Beautiful work.

  • @JeffreyNero-sk6jv
    @JeffreyNero-sk6jv 10 месяцев назад +1

    This resonates deeply with me. I’ve experienced many flavors of pain as well; some self created, some external. I’ve tried to learn Something from these experiences and like you said, it DEFINITELY helps one understand other peoples’ actions. Pain is not pleasant but it’s something we all must work through, so we should strive to get some positive benefit from the travail: wisdom. It helps the one suffering and that knowledge can be shared to hopefully lessen others’ suffering. That’s what I believe at least. Cheers!

  • @andrzejwojnarowski7925
    @andrzejwojnarowski7925 10 месяцев назад

    Dziękujemy.

  • @paolocosmo6310
    @paolocosmo6310 10 месяцев назад

    Your videos just keep getting better--thank you!

  • @Unkown-he3yq
    @Unkown-he3yq 6 месяцев назад

    Wise is made throughout:
    1. Experience which is why it is more associated with age
    2. The ability to accept their mistakes which is why it is associated with intelligence
    3. The ability to make others feel better which is why it is associated with goodness

  • @davidsykes9331
    @davidsykes9331 4 месяца назад

    Truly one of the best things I’ve ever seen on RUclips.

  • @gianlucabellanti
    @gianlucabellanti 6 месяцев назад

    Which leads to the conclusion that ultimate insight (as in paying attention) trough a meditative state leads to the end of suffering. Because you drop all concepts in favor of a truth that cannot be put into words, but can still be used as a basis for true wisdom in all areas of life.
    Great video, keep it up!

  • @timsimmons9995
    @timsimmons9995 23 дня назад

    Women often retort "who hurt you?" As insult to silence men. But the pain is a badge of honor because it has given us wisdom.

  • @georgehrlin
    @georgehrlin 10 месяцев назад +2

    That suffering is the source of all wisdom was one of the biggest takeaways I received during my recent adventure with ayahuasca. Thank you for this reminder, and thank you for all the other good work you do too!

  • @RT-mn2pb
    @RT-mn2pb 10 месяцев назад

    Thanks. Very nice how you followed the path, or connected the dots from experiencing pain now, to revising our actions based on insight to reduce future pain. Nicely payed out.

  • @Lucas-mf1tc
    @Lucas-mf1tc 10 месяцев назад

    I was lucky to discover the Tao te Ching in my teens. “Misfortune and suffering are your teachers and should be treated as an old friend” was the road to my success in life.

  • @immanentPassages
    @immanentPassages 10 месяцев назад

    This post has the potential to change the world! Excellent! Thank you!

  • @tonymyson3769
    @tonymyson3769 10 месяцев назад

    His house is so clean, and his massage is so clear, Love this channel 😀🙂

  • @zainhummamy4272
    @zainhummamy4272 10 месяцев назад

    You man are a treasure to anyone watching you. Please keep going

  • @manuelsanchez064
    @manuelsanchez064 10 месяцев назад +1

    THANK YOU.
    Thinking deeply...

  • @alyailithyia
    @alyailithyia 10 месяцев назад +3

    You know it's going to be a great morning when PsycHacks uploads a new video right before your commute to work 💛

  • @L6FT
    @L6FT 9 месяцев назад

    The universe is perfect.
    Stay humble and curious.

  • @innov4u
    @innov4u 10 месяцев назад +1

    Brilliant presentation, Dr Orion !

  • @reuelmelville5232
    @reuelmelville5232 9 месяцев назад

    Love it! Absolutely right!

  • @cozmikwan2216
    @cozmikwan2216 10 месяцев назад

    Coming to this after watching your take on the Red Pill, and the pieces are just falling into the right places. Peace, Love and Blessings to you sir.

  • @davidteeples2558
    @davidteeples2558 4 месяца назад

    This is gold thank you!

  • @lsporter88
    @lsporter88 7 месяцев назад

    I think you're correct. Great insight and video.

  • @jboquiren1
    @jboquiren1 8 месяцев назад

    As a practicing Buddhist this is as close to a secular Dharma talk that I've ever heard!

  • @mqkt01
    @mqkt01 10 месяцев назад +1

    When the emotional weather is bad, I remind myself not to trust myself. Like the weather, it’s back and forth. If it’s a bad storm, I focus on the basics, rest and get through the day. I’ll process when the hurricane passes.

  • @knivgaffelskje
    @knivgaffelskje 10 месяцев назад

    As the aghori Vimalananda put it (through Dr. Robert Svoboda):
    It is always good to live with reality, because if you don't, you can be sure that reality will come and live with you.
    Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us! You are offering a beautiful service to humanity!

  • @grantmisinzo
    @grantmisinzo 10 месяцев назад

    Wisdom is insight from pain, pain is an indicator that our version or view of reality is flawed, skewed, that something in our lives needs fixing and pain is inevitable, we all trudge through it and because everyone on earth leads a life not so different from one another, we are mostly made of shared experiences, and there are quite few truly original experiences, and so reflection leads to insight that can be reverse engineered to general truths that apply to all of us in a way that resonates and feels so profoundly true because it also scratches the itch of empathy and needing to be understood within. General truths from without, made malleable to conform to a personal situation that is within, translates to perceived wisdom but to do that necessitates living a life worth living, a life of stories and experience.

  • @joeylombaard1618
    @joeylombaard1618 4 месяца назад

    pain is life's feedback loop. substances that suppress pain, makes a break in the feedback loop and prevents learning, the accumulation of both knowledge and wisdom.

  • @zeeshaneastchem7387
    @zeeshaneastchem7387 10 месяцев назад +6

    you are doing grate job of providing high calss knowledge free of cost every one should subscribe to get the power of knowledge.

  • @bdcopp
    @bdcopp 6 месяцев назад

    Even in our sleep,
    pain which cannot forget
    falls drop by drop upon the heart
    until, in our own despair,
    against our will,
    comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.

  • @sanjeevio9944
    @sanjeevio9944 6 месяцев назад

    Deeply insightful!