They just need to build 5 more corvettes and they can make a totally invincible fleet. (Explained in the second half of the following video.) ruclips.net/video/bRylM8VCVX8/видео.html
"Human datanet chat logs mysteriously swamped by spam of the sixth letter of their latin alphabet. The meaning of this gesture is unknown to us at the time."
@@DoctorFail which command tho I've been trying all of them but can't seem to find which one use influence and I'm still trying to get Dragon Season and Gray
2:26 *"We have made a grave error and on behalf of my species I sincerely apologise to the Vroth. These are certainly concerning times and the geo-political situation in our region of space has never been more tense. I hope through establishing a dialogue we can relay that this was all a misunderstanding and that in time we can be forgiven for our actions. We would also be happy to sacrifice a select, delicious, sub-section of our population as a peace offering to the Vroth, if they so choose. I go especially well with white wine."*
@@AJChagnon Depending on your species, you might need implants, carvings, or firmware updates in order to make all the sounds correctly. People on the forums for Omnilingo's Caawian lessons suggest that _biological_ implants are the best at helping non-Avians sound like natives, but I've heard rumors among my fellow language lovers about a _technological_ implant nearing release that gets you near-flawless results _and_ can switch between configurations to allow you to still speak other languages. If you love languages like I do and your kind has throats and/or communicates by forcing air through a variably-shaped tube, I recommend holding out for the tech.
Also, the shortage of tile blockers are really affecting the jobs in our galaxy, grandpa Joe in the neighboring district just lost his job as a tile construction worker. We need to bring jobs back!
@@ibtaba A Tile Inhibitor broke on my world. Now there's just a large square hole where my apartment building once stood. Funny thing is... the tile, itself, is on the other side of the planet.
~2:40 to 2:55 They claim their 5 Corvettes will keep them save from 200k fleet power battleships. Well if the Battleships are all using large weapons with low combined accuracy and tracking and the Corvettes have high enough evasion, they might be correct in their statement.
And if they have space amoeba-inspired regen properties (a “rare” technology) and weapons that are accurate and can deal lots of damage to the FE’s hull types
We’re busy with scanning all the worlds to see their tiles. Industrial wastelands and dense jungles don’t just appear due to bureaucratic incompetence and years of letting trees grow freely.
The tileblocker problem is seriously affecting our pre-FTL culture. Before long there will be no canyons, volcanoes, or even any exotic animals outside of the few in captivity, all of them removed to make way for more infrastructure. What will happen next? Will our grandchildren not know what an ocean looks like when we siphon out all the water, just to make some more mines?
0:34 The text of that article only says the Vultaum MIGHT have been right. I can't believe the Reddit Journal of Science would allow such a clickbait headline...
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! This is one of the best Stellaris video I have ever seen .... also be sure to put the caption for the translation of the Caawian representative (man, I thought that bird would never shut up, such a long speech!) :P Keep up the good work ;)
Rewatched for the ticker. "Public Institute of Space Health (PISH) Advisory warns watching news tickers like this may be linked to rising cases of eye rot." Uh-oh.
those that are biologically ascended have modified themselves to the point where they are so smart they do not need to watch more to know what's going on.
"Traffic delays as Unbidden invasion of outer rim continues, death toll now at 11.7 trillion" LOL, endgame crisis, so far into the ticker and not even mentioned
Are they seriously gonna kill people over insults? Can’t they just throw insults back? One of their politicians interrupted his own conference to peck at something shiny, that gold material right there! Not to mention I think that their embassy got banned.
"... he's confident the cooperative's 5 corvettes will keep them safe." I laughed harder than I should have at that one.
What he meant to say was "those five ships will keep us (the leadership) safe while we slip away."
*Refugee event pops up* “huh... what’s this?”
@@gideonmele1556 Purge type : *chemical processing*
They just need to build 5 more corvettes and they can make a totally invincible fleet. (Explained in the second half of the following video.)
ruclips.net/video/bRylM8VCVX8/видео.html
I grimmed at it too...
This channel is unespectedly funny.
Thanks Xenonion News, for keeping the news balanced and fair.
No reports on Machine Intelligence movements in NW Galactic corner. Possibly will be covered in later reports.
They should make this a DLC
What about those Pre FTL freaks near the sufer system
*CNN IS DEAD! LONG LIVE XENONION NEWS!*
@@jagothegamer5750 What was SHALL BE! XENONION NEWS WILL COVER THE ENTIRE GALACTIC NEWS MARKET!
Wth is a fallen empire can't they get up lmao
Fallen empires are actually just technology pinâta's, just waiting to be wacked open. ^^
@@PerfectAlibi1 That was a tweet from the nation
Maybe they should ask their local geo-engineer about Mastery of Nature(TM)
@@calmdown5559
Tweet from who now?!
@@PerfectAlibi1 In the video. It showed a little slideshow of tweets from the nation.
"what's a fallen empire? can't they get up?"
when I saw this, *I knew death was coming.*
Lmao XD
Fallen empire : oh .. you've done it now..
Fallen empires can only punish other species. They don’t completely wipe out empires…
Nah, fallen empire don't kill empires, they can only humiliate others
they can't get it up
"Neighboring species are holding pre-emptive memorial services"
My sides!
"Human datanet chat logs mysteriously swamped by spam of the sixth letter of their latin alphabet. The meaning of this gesture is unknown to us at the time."
@@sr.favopossodeixarvaziosim4595 F
2:27 it would be such an advanced and efficient language that express such a long sentence in less a second. Fascinating.
Have you tried with the subtitles?
@@guerinileonardo562 my god so complex
@@guerinileonardo562 damn
@@guerinileonardo562 my favorite line is "I go especially well with white wine."
@@KitKatHexe is my favourite line too😂
I remember in my last Stellaris game, I had the following thought
"I need more influence, but it's not like I can just buy it. This isn't real life."
Console commands are your friend
High class comedy
@@DoctorFail which command tho I've been trying all of them but can't seem to find which one use influence and I'm still trying to get Dragon Season and Gray
@@SilentCl0wdInfluence 999
Probably the least realistic aspect of the game.
Well about 300 fleetpower is definitely higher than 200 (if you leave out the K)
5 corvette is about 100
depends if you're min-maxing against their shields
2:26
*"We have made a grave error and on behalf of my species I sincerely apologise to the Vroth. These are certainly concerning times and the geo-political situation in our region of space has never been more tense. I hope through establishing a dialogue we can relay that this was all a misunderstanding and that in time we can be forgiven for our actions. We would also be happy to sacrifice a select, delicious, sub-section of our population as a peace offering to the Vroth, if they so choose. I go especially well with white wine."*
I’ll be damned, that’s what it actually says
bakersmileyface how long did it take you to learn Caawian? I’ve been struggling
@@AJChagnon About a few decades. It's a bit of a wasted effort since it's a dead language now.
@@bartomiejpopielarz8283 Dead delicious.
@@AJChagnon Depending on your species, you might need implants, carvings, or firmware updates in order to make all the sounds correctly. People on the forums for Omnilingo's Caawian lessons suggest that _biological_ implants are the best at helping non-Avians sound like natives, but I've heard rumors among my fellow language lovers about a _technological_ implant nearing release that gets you near-flawless results _and_ can switch between configurations to allow you to still speak other languages.
If you love languages like I do and your kind has throats and/or communicates by forcing air through a variably-shaped tube, I recommend holding out for the tech.
"You know, I used to hate all Organic life but now i'll make an exception for Space Ameobas. I feel bad for bubble"
Warform A-UH165
Alert a pop has been disconnected from the collective conciousness auto initiating purge mechanic
The ONLY source of galactic news!
As in, literally no other source exists...
*laughs in villager news*
@@hugebuffman3619 Hmmmm
The only source ever since since the tragedy of Zandar 3 News
*Indeed*
Also, the shortage of tile blockers are really affecting the jobs in our galaxy, grandpa Joe in the neighboring district just lost his job as a tile construction worker. We need to bring jobs back!
little horses.
Then stop voting for Torba'Jirg you jirgtards!
Have you tried the off brand "tile inhibitors", just as good but 300 credits less per natic-ounce
@@ibtaba A Tile Inhibitor broke on my world. Now there's just a large square hole where my apartment building once stood. Funny thing is... the tile, itself, is on the other side of the planet.
Donald's Demonics and make the Fallen Empires pay for it! They’ve got the money! We can make THEM pay for it!
~2:40 to 2:55
They claim their 5 Corvettes will keep them save from 200k fleet power battleships.
Well if the Battleships are all using large weapons with low combined accuracy and tracking and the Corvettes have high enough evasion, they might be correct in their statement.
And if they have space amoeba-inspired regen properties (a “rare” technology) and weapons that are accurate and can deal lots of damage to the FE’s hull types
@@badpiggies988 I think they said thet they will ask the Horor of the Void to give them a helping hand.
It's unfortunate that Fallen Empire Battlecruisers all have fighters or this might actually work.
Even if your assumptions are true maximum evasion is 90% so their odds are pretty slim even then.
I would kill for a Xenonion News DLC XD! Imagine having commentary about your actions like this! That'd be so cool!
That would be awesome.
please yes, idec how much it costs, take my 100 bucks, I need it!
Like the advisors from the old Civ games? That would be awesome.....
@@ramiel7666 more like the first two Master of Orion
PLEASE PARADOX GIVE THE PEOPLE A VOICE!!!
I feel like Lurgg the impaler should have his own sitcom.
JagotheGamer Lurgg definitely carries the show, his talent is wasted on the news.
He is what the people want!
...at leas...in one way or another
No matter how much we evolve, People love Blood sports.
I love Xenonion. I love the worm. I love Xenonion. I love the worm.
What was will be
TIME IS SIGHT
WHAT WAS WILL BE
@@voidableboar9935 GRAVITY IS DESIRE
I just killed the worm.
"If you're joining us psionically via the Shroud, just think about extra news real hard."
Ah, yes. The spiritualist ascension pathway in a nutshell.
"delicious looking *bird*"
*That says a lot about society.
Is this the greatest thing I’ve ever seen, yes, yes it is
This channel deserves to grow faster.
damn you right
Oh Yeah Yeah
Hope the tiles around don't get alien survey soon.
“Diplomatic relations break down as one planet minor insults a fallen empire. Neighboring systems hold a preemptive memorial services.”
Noo! Bubbles, where art though!
They found the ether drake
Your bubbles went pop pop and its bones went crunch crunch, and now it's your turn to tickle the inside of my belly, tiny creatures.
Who names the Ameba "Bubbles"? I named mine Thundercharge the Extreme-inator
@@Alemphonix
She found the hatchling Ether drake and they ran off together?
As even for the large space born aliens, xeno-compatibility works XD
@@taelim6599 *[throws 80 spinal-mount battleships at the problem]*
Xenonian is absolutely the best source for Galactic news
@Kyle Blank I guess somebody has been swallowing Beauclair propaganda
NOT BUBBLES! WHY CAN'T THE SENTRY ARRAY FIND BUBBLES!?
We’re busy with scanning all the worlds to see their tiles. Industrial wastelands and dense jungles don’t just appear due to bureaucratic incompetence and years of letting trees grow freely.
Try checking the L cluster
@@theomnissiah-9120 We did, but the gray tempest wiped out all of our fleets.
The ticker!
"Species hold preemptive memorial service."
Careful,news tickers cause eye rot!
''Tasty looking bird'' , ''Delicious looking bird'' Great subtitles.
2:21 His reaction is fantastic! I hope they survives to the Fallen Empire somehow.
We need more Xenonion, and more often.
BE SURE to turn on the captions or subtitles, you'll see more!
Esp. 2:28
He goes well with white wine. Good to know...
Alright Jazek, fire the the turbo-laser batteries!
Wow, now that's detail most YT channels dont include.
This is the first vid I found from this channel. This channel is like a goldmine for Stellaris fans.
Now, you see, Jerry, this is why we dont call the big 3-jawed monsters with the big guns a poopnose.
2:58 I can't believe I actually blinked twice
R.I.P unity Albright
Plume of Teal has such a way with words
*tasty looking bird
Subbed! This is absolutely hilarious!
2:02, "Wth is a 'fallen empire'? can't they get up?" 💀💀💀
They can wake up if someone pushes them....which they just did lmao
I wish my galaxy had Xenonion News.
Seriously, moders get on it
The tileblocker problem is seriously affecting our pre-FTL culture. Before long there will be no canyons, volcanoes, or even any exotic animals outside of the few in captivity, all of them removed to make way for more infrastructure. What will happen next? Will our grandchildren not know what an ocean looks like when we siphon out all the water, just to make some more mines?
Ah yes, our 5 corvettes will protect us from a invading fleet!
1:41 “and Caawian representative, tasty looking bird”
Looks like the captioner’s a food processing empire, boys.
I've just found this channel, immediately subscribed. I love the amount of stories you can get in Stellaris without even looking for them.
0:34 The text of that article only says the Vultaum MIGHT have been right. I can't believe the Reddit Journal of Science would allow such a clickbait headline...
Xen-onion! [Yells] I get it!
This is amazing.
I thought it was Xeno-nion
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! This is one of the best Stellaris video I have ever seen .... also be sure to put the caption for the translation of the Caawian representative (man, I thought that bird would never shut up, such a long speech!) :P
Keep up the good work ;)
My favorite part was when the velociraptor said “Caw!”
HAK!
MUGANI?!
Hunters: *target aquired*
hak?
HAK HAK!
**hiss**
Rewatched for the ticker. "Public Institute of Space Health (PISH) Advisory warns watching news tickers like this may be linked to rising cases of eye rot."
Uh-oh.
“Pre-emptive funeral services” purged all my pops lmao
I subbed immediately after hearing „Bubbles“
This is so awesome!
This is one of the most underrated channels out there! Keep up the good work!
This is hysterical! Wish I'd found this channel sooner. Subbed!
When if this is actually the news in 500 years
i would watch a whole season of this
It took me a while to understand the questline with the galaxy being a virtual reality simulation and it actually just being the video game itself.
1:40 Subtitles "tasty looking bird" LOL 😂
Edit: And 3:04 excellent 😁
To be fair, my first ever game, I claimed a fallen empire's system and tried to get it via war.
Rip dear leader
*sends a 1.5k power fleet to a fallen empire system*
*Sees the 100k power fleet rushing towards theirs*
Well crap
Aspec sent me here. :)
2:26 "Delicious looking bird" that's such a nice detail.
I'm so glad i found this
My same reaction to fallen empires I start to fuck with and realize my mistake.
Omg this is so good. "Several of their 200k Battleship fleets" hahaha
“After he became distracted by a shiny object and began furiously pecking at it”
Made me laugh so fucking hard, lmao
I’m glad they admit that the only good name for the space amoeba is Bubbles
The extermination of the Caawian was a huge loss for the galaxy. They went so well with white wine.
I just discovered this channel and it's very very nice! Love all the little references and jokes!!!
You have yourself a new subscriber! :D
Tileblocker shortage made me laugh out loud
It's been almost two years. Have they found Bubbles yet?
5 corvettes😂. What is your God? The SpiffingBrit😐
Holy fuck how did I not see this for this many years?
Please make more of this, these videos are so well made!
"No Regrets" being misspelled is great. XD
Drama Alert but in space
We love xenonion . Entire Swarm can know even more than everything with it.
Stellaris should have a live events news or radio station DLC by now.
In the DLC it only unlocks after you join a federation and reacts to your decisions and the AI or other players.
Can you do a news report on the dev clash?
Why have I only discovered this channel! This is great stuff!
I can't even, this is so hilarious and deserve so much praise lol
If I had never played Stellaris and you told me this was a teaser for a Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy movie, frankly I would believe you
Hostile wildlife are the only tile blocker worth saving. They're sentient beings too, even if they don't know what a mining station is.
3:04 Nothing for the Biologically Ascended? This is a travesty!
those that are biologically ascended have modified themselves to the point where they are so smart they do not need to watch more to know what's going on.
Bro I'm in tears.
"Traffic delays as Unbidden invasion of outer rim continues, death toll now at 11.7 trillion"
LOL, endgame crisis, so far into the ticker and not even mentioned
I just noticed the ticket news about the Unbidden eating the Outer Colonies, now that's funny.
They're featured in another video on this channel
The Unbidden are eating all the empires we were going to eat!
-Murdering Swarm
Make more of those! You deserve to grow bigger!
I like to think that this is happening in the background of all my games.
when you realize that you poked a fallen empire followed by..............when you realized what a fallen empire can do =P
I need more of this
I just discovered this channel and I already love it.
What... Did... I just... Stumble into?
Are they seriously gonna kill people over insults? Can’t they just throw insults back? One of their politicians interrupted his own conference to peck at something shiny, that gold material right there! Not to mention I think that their embassy got banned.
Now funnier than the real Onion has become.
How can a channel be this good?
This is quality content, thanks!
this was really well done
Why am I just finding this channel now? This is gold!
why did i JUST find this
this is the best thing on yt
Lol these are great. Keep 'em up. Subbed.
Damn that was awesome. I’m definitely subbing.
How... how is this so good?
I have always needed this but didn't know, instant sub
So long as one planet belongs to an ai there will never be a shortage of tile blockers