Giant Asteroid Enters Race for UNE Presidency

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  • Опубликовано: 15 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 257

  • @ПетрПетров-о6ъ9н
    @ПетрПетров-о6ъ9н 4 года назад +1512

    It's time for the first lithoid president. Vote 684-OR! Let's make an impact.

    • @gennik7966
      @gennik7966 4 года назад +43

      Get it, IMPACT

    • @davelife3324
      @davelife3324 4 года назад +28

      Петр Петров An earth-shattering impact, one might say.

    • @Ajc-ni3xn
      @Ajc-ni3xn 3 года назад +14

      Please, we’re professionals here, 684-OR is what their friends call them, it’s 684-0R5 to us.

    • @sullivanbrawn1315
      @sullivanbrawn1315 3 года назад +2

      laughed so hard because it's not even that far from real life. * cries *

    • @IC1101-Capinatator
      @IC1101-Capinatator 3 года назад

      I have…other ideas for what a Lithoid president looks like.

  • @falloutrains2641
    @falloutrains2641 4 года назад +309

    "Area Empire Closes borders, then opens them, then closes them again"
    This channel is pure gold

  • @rush4in
    @rush4in 4 года назад +765

    "who is live on Earth's capital - Ulm" well, well, well...

    • @XalphYT
      @XalphYT 4 года назад +85

      Ulm is so pleasingly low key. I have been there and never seen them brag about their vaulted position.

    • @stojankovacic1524
      @stojankovacic1524 4 года назад +117

      The names of people having their mind read were also Marie Nostrum (Mare Nostrum), Otto Man (Ottoman) and Han Sa (Hansa)... Seems like Xenonion also plays eu4...
      EDIT: Otto Man is also a map staring expert

    • @IceLizardsUnited
      @IceLizardsUnited 4 года назад +40

      They're living in the EU4 timeline where the ULM world order playthrough is canon.

    • @danielschmidt2541
      @danielschmidt2541 4 года назад +17

      Proof that Ulm conquered the world in this timeline.

    • @gerhardrobertbieber4129
      @gerhardrobertbieber4129 4 года назад +10

      Ulm is an town in South Germany

  • @grimlockorc
    @grimlockorc 4 года назад +526

    I wish there was a mod that could bring this type of humor into the game.

    • @svijj_
      @svijj_ 4 года назад +123

      Yeah, or a news mod, where you can see some headlines, related to your empire, like: "Famous (Empire Name) celebrity (randomly generated name) was spotted pregnant once again!", or "It has been the 57901st day of searching for the lost Space Amoeba Bubbles". It could also highlight some things, that you do in your empire, like e.g: "Martial law has been declared on (Planet name)", or "Our leader, (Name and title), have declared war on our long-lasting enemies, (empire name)". Perhaps even the mire totalitarian your empire is, the more propaganda it spews out. I would be glad, if someone could make this mod, cause when it comes to me, I have absolutely no experience in modding :/

    • @Mr._Nikki
      @Mr._Nikki 3 года назад +27

      It would be cool to see a mod that adds a funny plague Inc styled news feed ui, that sometimes reacts to different empires actions.

    • @tanker00v25
      @tanker00v25 2 года назад +3

      @@Mr._Nikki +

    • @SMmania123
      @SMmania123 2 года назад +9

      Bro I wish for a MOD, or a DLC to bring this. This way to good for nothing like to this to exist in game,

    • @meanderthelost6029
      @meanderthelost6029 2 года назад +1

      Well there was that me race that went crazy and mass suicided themselves in order to “escape the simulation” and I kinda think that comes close.

  • @TheAgamidaex
    @TheAgamidaex 4 года назад +303

    I dunno, the asteroid has a rock-solid plan.

  • @GensoLight
    @GensoLight 4 года назад +994

    Does it count as an assassination if the starbase of Ulm just shootdown Asteroid 684-OR5 automatically?

    • @death13a
      @death13a 4 года назад +126

      You mean political assassination or smear campaign?

    • @JoonaVirtanen2378
      @JoonaVirtanen2378 4 года назад +20

      Yes

    • @subtotalaljar3620
      @subtotalaljar3620 4 года назад +44

      Considering it ran the same nomination it depends. Also cant remember if we are a republic or cutthroat Oligarch.

    • @matiasfermandois264
      @matiasfermandois264 4 года назад +6

      @@JoonaVirtanen2378 Yesn't

    • @MrDemonWorm
      @MrDemonWorm 4 года назад +8

      It's running for President precisely for the authority to override that.

  • @zestypigeon2729
    @zestypigeon2729 2 года назад +90

    that bit about the galactic community on the 53rd attempt at voting for the minor sanction was priceless

  • @sqocks8254
    @sqocks8254 4 года назад +721

    *_Remember everyone, not voting for the asteroid is basically voting against the asteroid!!_*

    • @pieter-bashoogsteen2283
      @pieter-bashoogsteen2283 4 года назад +17

      I see, you are person of high intellect, not?

    • @clampmotosua1789
      @clampmotosua1789 4 года назад +18

      Your not a planetoid if you vote for the moon.

    • @zeehero7280
      @zeehero7280 Год назад

      if you dont vote for the asteroid, you ain't a vertabrate!

  • @Panzerfan93
    @Panzerfan93 4 года назад +402

    Didin't just dome old tweets of him surface where he congratulates his "good friend" for wiping out the dinosaurs? he said, and i quote, "it's good that these scaly bastards are gone"
    quite shocking if you ask me!

    • @pieter-bashoogsteen2283
      @pieter-bashoogsteen2283 4 года назад +20

      We must reveal this to the world and let them see!

    • @mattosika
      @mattosika 4 года назад +31

      Everyone knows that asteroid was working with the small easily eaten mammals. Total hit job.

    • @llamallamapajama9571
      @llamallamapajama9571 4 года назад +25

      I, a warform, personally vouch for the eradication of all organic life, but still, they shoudnlt be RUDE about it.

    • @dasdummkopf2509
      @dasdummkopf2509 4 года назад +6

      Wow. That's xenophobic!

    • @jhonnoilcringeincarnato8593
      @jhonnoilcringeincarnato8593 3 года назад +1

      @@dasdummkopf2509 "oh boy here we go another xenophobic specie to add to the list of xenophobic species hmm i wonder what will happen if we pit them against each others"

  • @jawnegbert
    @jawnegbert 4 года назад +265

    Honestly, I would rather vote on Spaceguard Turret Network "Stonehenge" rather than the Giant Asteroid, mainly because it at least has a concrete plan how to reduce air traffic.

    • @ingmaster5
      @ingmaster5 4 года назад +17

      I Understood that reference.

    • @ShahjahanMasood
      @ShahjahanMasood 4 года назад +7

      Those damn Belkans! They are in space!

    • @Edo_Ginting
      @Edo_Ginting 2 года назад +3

      Along with their secretary, "Megalith"

  • @Axius27
    @Axius27 4 года назад +498

    It's so obvious what Giant Asteroid is doing. It doesn't care about us, it just doesn't want to be blown out of the sky before it reaches Earth!

    • @harbl99
      @harbl99 4 года назад +56

      Are you saying giant asteroids don't have a right to share in the wealth and success of the inner system, just because of where in the accretion disc they coalesced? Maybe living in the Commonwealth of Man would suit your attitudes better.
      #openorbitsforall

    • @Axius27
      @Axius27 4 года назад +37

      @@harbl99 Those asteroids from the Kuiper Belt! Coming here, stealing jobs from the inner system.

    • @PaiSAMSEN
      @PaiSAMSEN 4 года назад +5

      You can't take the Razorback!

    • @johnroach9026
      @johnroach9026 4 года назад +1

      Remember the Cant!

    • @Nerval-kg9sm
      @Nerval-kg9sm 4 года назад +2

      That's all Earth politicians, driven by self-interest not service. The asteroid fits right in.

  • @LecherousLizard
    @LecherousLizard 4 года назад +34

    2:15 That adds up to 166%. Reminds me of that one election in Africa where there were like 30.000 people eligible to vote and the winning candidate got 120.000 votes.

  • @GT-wj3gl
    @GT-wj3gl 4 года назад +116

    Idk if anyone remembers, but this reminds me of a joke like this from the 2016 election lol. There were campaign banners with an asteroid on it that said "GIANT ASTEROID 2016" with the slogan "Just End it All".

    • @bificommander7472
      @bificommander7472 3 года назад +5

      Didn't know that one. I do know the Cthulhu For President campaign ("Why vote for the lesser evil?")

    • @floridaball4896
      @floridaball4896 3 года назад +2

      Remember the actual onion video that supposedly in the future you sure where they keep trying to blow up the Earth but just keep Procrastinating

    • @cosmictreason2242
      @cosmictreason2242 Год назад

      It was SMOD 2016 “sweet meteor of death”

  • @El_Presidente_5337
    @El_Presidente_5337 4 года назад +38

    Bubbles is already missing for 12 months but aleatst the Ether and L-Drake are making sman album together.

  • @mearl3977
    @mearl3977 4 года назад +45

    "I'm going to destroy the Earth better than any asteroid could!" that's genius level sarcasm right there...

    • @tach5884
      @tach5884 4 года назад +1

      Stable genius

  • @carlotheemo
    @carlotheemo 4 года назад +12

    Just realized that news thread
    Fallen empire asks galaxy: "can you just not?"

  • @DragonessYT
    @DragonessYT 4 года назад +69

    Finally, a trustworthy news source

  • @AnotherLuckyStar
    @AnotherLuckyStar 4 года назад +34

    This channel is absolute perfection.
    Thank you for keeping us up to date, Xenonion. You are the one news network I trust completely.

  • @richardschmidt1348
    @richardschmidt1348 4 года назад +22

    Why did this ad make me cry?
    Giant asteroird for president!

  • @avder42
    @avder42 4 года назад +12

    Well he certainly inspires more confidence in his ability to deliver on his platform than the other two candidates, and he's by far more honest.
    Hell, he's got my vote.

  • @Alex_FRD
    @Alex_FRD 4 года назад +17

    See you next year for the next newsroom video. Jokes aside, glad to see the classic newsroom back.

    • @XenonionNews
      @XenonionNews  4 года назад +15

      Alex FRD the 12 month countdown starts now!

  • @MisF1998
    @MisF1998 4 года назад +26

    Am I the only one who rewatched the video just to read the hilarious news ticker?

  • @archpigeon
    @archpigeon 4 года назад +24

    0:35 12 months searching for bubbles? wasn't he missing for longer than that?

    • @XalphYT
      @XalphYT 4 года назад +6

      Pray for bubbles!

  • @TotallyNotShiny_Stone
    @TotallyNotShiny_Stone 3 года назад +2

    0:40 The News Ticker : "SEARCH FOR MISSING SPACE AMOEBA 'BUBBLES, ENTERS 12TH MONTH"
    *BUBBLES WHEN MISSING!?!?!?!?!?!?*

    • @memeoususer2704
      @memeoususer2704 3 года назад

      Bubbles took country road to his homeeeee.

  • @Violent2aShadow
    @Violent2aShadow 4 года назад +44

    "There's covfefe in that nebula...." ~Jeffery Rossario

    • @mclatchyt
      @mclatchyt 3 года назад +5

      Captain Janeway approved!

  • @zetaomega8708
    @zetaomega8708 4 года назад +14

    I can already hear the Lithoids typing FURIOUSLY.

  • @energeticcreeper7969
    @energeticcreeper7969 4 года назад +13

    "every space-faring civilisation has mistaken space amoeba for space amoeba, new study finds"
    Is no one gonna talk about this?

  • @SebHaarfagre
    @SebHaarfagre 2 года назад +2

    0:19 No did you just do that 😂😂
    Someone has been playing Eu4! A lot!

  • @opposition22
    @opposition22 2 года назад +4

    Later on the asteroid was assassinated by a rogue starport.

  • @babstra55
    @babstra55 4 года назад +22

    an instant classic, once again. I'm dying. XD

  • @stexi1079
    @stexi1079 4 года назад +5

    This is the lvl of contect i looking for(2 years)

  • @darthcalanil5333
    @darthcalanil5333 4 года назад +74

    Wait, did he say earth's capital of ULM?! 😮

    • @peterknutsen3070
      @peterknutsen3070 4 года назад +9

      Yes.

    • @XalphYT
      @XalphYT 4 года назад +17

      Cool, huh? You would have guessed Stuttgart or maybe Augsburg, but you would have been wrong.

    • @Dennisroos
      @Dennisroos 4 года назад +38

      @@XalphYT Ulm has a bit of a meme status in the Paradox community, that's why it was picked by Xenonion

    • @PiiTheCat
      @PiiTheCat 3 года назад

      @@Dennisroos but why Ulm?

    • @fatchins9126
      @fatchins9126 3 года назад +3

      @@PiiTheCat in Europa Universalis Ulm is a one province state and has become a meme
      The meme is how Ulm is incredibly overpowered and will rule the Earth
      So Xenonion made it Earth's Capital

  • @GreatWhiteWhale
    @GreatWhiteWhale 4 месяца назад +2

    "There's covfefe in that nebula"
    Absolute gold

  • @Dagreatdudeman
    @Dagreatdudeman 3 года назад +2

    I know who I'm voting for!

  • @dm121984
    @dm121984 3 года назад +8

    "There's covfefe in that nebula" killed me.

  • @charlesuzozie5747
    @charlesuzozie5747 4 года назад +11

    This is basically space onion news

  • @napisg1906
    @napisg1906 4 года назад +24

    The names of the civillians are historical reference and my day has been made.

  • @benmckee1122
    @benmckee1122 4 года назад +3

    I like the interview backgrounds from Cities Skylines

  • @gerhardrobertbieber4129
    @gerhardrobertbieber4129 4 года назад +2

    Stellaris

  • @LuckyLuigi
    @LuckyLuigi 4 года назад +7

    You guy kill me better than any giant asteroid. Glorious :) :) :)

  • @wimpwampwomp
    @wimpwampwomp 3 года назад +2

    "You wanna try some ASSEROIDS, Mokey?"

  • @Redem10
    @Redem10 4 года назад +5

    3:29 This is the most efficient galactic community, I've seen

  • @tylercross8877
    @tylercross8877 2 года назад +2

    Even 2 years later this video is still way to on point

  • @Paul-A01
    @Paul-A01 4 года назад +4

    This rock wasnt even born on earth!

  • @fulcrum2951
    @fulcrum2951 3 года назад +2

    He has my vote

  • @Ikdulo
    @Ikdulo 3 года назад +1

    Got to love that calamitous berth.

  • @Tom-H1
    @Tom-H1 3 года назад +2

    Why is everyone in this multiverse so goddamn suicidal?

  • @FarhanIshrakAhmedUchchash
    @FarhanIshrakAhmedUchchash 4 года назад +2

    This is pure raw talent.... Hats off!

  • @starleighpersonal
    @starleighpersonal 3 года назад +2

    there's coffe in that nebula

  • @alexanderchristopher6237
    @alexanderchristopher6237 3 года назад +3

    Marie Nostrum? Otto Man? Han Sa?
    This is great.

  • @zenkomenhi
    @zenkomenhi 4 года назад +6

    Well, I know who I'm voting for

  • @josiah42
    @josiah42 2 года назад +2

    I continue to be astonished at how good these are!

  • @Zippsterman
    @Zippsterman 3 года назад +1

    Absolutely nailed the newscaster voice

  • @jackgrove4621
    @jackgrove4621 3 года назад +2

    this was a real thing actually. In 2016

  • @raquazaful
    @raquazaful 3 года назад +3

    "There's Coffee in that Nebula" Who let Janeway become president?

  • @harbl99
    @harbl99 4 года назад +22

    His impact on things is going to be YUGE! A literally seismic shake-up of the political and physical landscapes.

  • @EinFelsbrocken
    @EinFelsbrocken 4 года назад +16

    I love how you manage to capture the original "the onion" spirit and humour better than the onion does since the last few years x)

  • @КристианИванов-с5щ
    @КристианИванов-с5щ 4 года назад +5

    50 influence well spent

  • @dunkelschlange
    @dunkelschlange 3 года назад +2

    Nice to know, that the Mare Nostrum, The Ottoman Empire and the Hanseatic League vote for the Asteroid too.

  • @Phelan666
    @Phelan666 4 года назад +4

    I still like Shrieking White-Hot Sphere Of Pure Rage.

  • @generalalduin9548
    @generalalduin9548 4 года назад +6

    Finally.
    A politician who will actually keep his promises.

  • @linkieloos
    @linkieloos 2 года назад

    "Rubble it in why don't you."
    - Asteroid 684-OR5

  • @MrBigCookieCrumble
    @MrBigCookieCrumble 4 года назад +15

    Hah, imagine having elections! XD

  • @Ajc-ni3xn
    @Ajc-ni3xn 3 года назад +2

    3:08 maybe there is covfefe in that nebula, it is in Stellaris now.

  • @a.9913
    @a.9913 3 года назад +1

    Just found this channel with the "endangered eldritch" skit. Love this stuff!

  • @EmperorMatticusII
    @EmperorMatticusII 4 года назад +2

    Status report from the 7th fleet. Our Titan just obliterated the asteroid- I mean the front runner..

  • @T2266
    @T2266 4 года назад +1

    Wait, why is Unity Albright not the one on desk this time? Is she seriously diverting away from news industry? Or is it just conflicting schedule?

  • @zaneex4043
    @zaneex4043 2 года назад +1

    That's one hell of an ad, I'd vote for him

  • @jaymontanez8200
    @jaymontanez8200 4 года назад +4

    I died at the cities skylines footage from those interviews xD

  • @pedalking100
    @pedalking100 4 года назад +2

    It's been too long guys - brilliant! 👌

  • @fenny1578
    @fenny1578 4 года назад +1

    It's his time to rock out with his rock out.

  • @explodingwolfgaming8024
    @explodingwolfgaming8024 4 года назад +1

    Arrived here straight from th4 subreddit!

  • @Lorgar64
    @Lorgar64 4 года назад +3

    I misheard and thought he said Earth's capital was Ulm. Would've been an amazing reference.

    • @XenonionNews
      @XenonionNews  4 года назад +10

      Lorgar64 it is! Ulm formed the UNE in 2041

  • @zachgaskins3731
    @zachgaskins3731 3 года назад +1

    _Marco Inaros liked this video_

  • @vincenzobelfort3288
    @vincenzobelfort3288 4 года назад +2

    Guys, i cant run Stellaris, i have error 0xc000007b, i tried reinstalling directx, updating my .dotnet framework, and updating my drivers, but it doesn't seem to help. Please help!

    • @vincenzobelfort3288
      @vincenzobelfort3288 4 года назад

      @@snaesama Also apply burning liquid into computer, ye i know jokes aside please ? :O

  • @DragonessYT
    @DragonessYT 4 года назад +4

    Well ain't that funny, NASA has found that an astroid will be going past Earth on November 2nd, the day before the US presidential election.

  • @scoopidywhoop7484
    @scoopidywhoop7484 3 года назад +2

    “Too old and too out of touch to become the presidential nominee” hasn’t stopped us before.

  • @voidchaser3185
    @voidchaser3185 4 года назад +1

    YES.

  • @Vumpalouska
    @Vumpalouska 4 года назад +2

    These are pretty awesome :D

  • @Biodeamon
    @Biodeamon 3 года назад +1

    honestly it'll take alot more than an asteroid to end humanity
    fucking lithtards

  • @misterwheatley1386
    @misterwheatley1386 4 года назад +2

    Oh comet, devil's kith and kin

  • @dominickdesalvo8476
    @dominickdesalvo8476 4 года назад +1

    It has my vote!

  • @j.vinton4039
    @j.vinton4039 3 года назад

    “Giant Asteroid 2200: Just end it already”

  • @allhailthemightyicecreamco5448
    @allhailthemightyicecreamco5448 4 года назад +2

    I have a feeling the majority would choose asteroid

  • @ralado31
    @ralado31 4 года назад +3

    "AREA EMPIRE CLOSES BORDERS, RE OPENS THEM, THEN CLOSES THEM AGAIN"

  • @raxsavvage
    @raxsavvage 3 года назад +1

    civilization builds 13 construction ships for no apprantly reason and ether drak and L drake
    this is top tier

  • @anarchosherman961
    @anarchosherman961 4 месяца назад +2

    Not them Bidening the Asteroid

  • @blogofbored3224
    @blogofbored3224 2 года назад +1

    This is so well made????? Where are the hundreds of thousands of views???

  • @RedWanderer26
    @RedWanderer26 4 года назад +3

    Wait. ASTEROIDS CAN BE PRESIDENTS? What a crazy country....
    How can I run to commonwealth of man?

  • @proxy4620
    @proxy4620 3 года назад +1

    Nice EU4 reference

  • @gamerplays5131
    @gamerplays5131 3 года назад +2

    Meanwhile the lithoids on the asteroid be like...

  • @BendySnowball
    @BendySnowball 4 года назад +2

    I'm O. Yeller, and I forgot this space politics messages.

  • @drunkenseaman7132
    @drunkenseaman7132 3 года назад +2

    wait what does he by "again" ? what was the first time ?

  • @willofone2120
    @willofone2120 3 года назад +2

    Stop trying to repeal my bills!

  • @Ajc-ni3xn
    @Ajc-ni3xn 3 года назад +1

    2:56 they’re clearly confused, this is an asteroid, not a comet

  • @burakthecrow
    @burakthecrow 3 года назад +1

    I get some onion network vibes from this.

  • @nobleknight7472
    @nobleknight7472 4 года назад

    Fantastic

  • @ChartreuseDan
    @ChartreuseDan 4 года назад +1

    It's got my vote

  • @elinelson5399
    @elinelson5399 2 года назад

    Recent update the earth’s atmosphere has been charged with assationation

  • @ReezeGoingSenseless
    @ReezeGoingSenseless 2 года назад +2

    I love the fact that Twitter still exists in our lovely Future.