Why A Man CHOOSES You Over ANOTHER Woman

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  • Опубликовано: 14 окт 2023
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Комментарии • 163

  • @JonathonAslay
    @JonathonAslay  8 месяцев назад

    FREE Call with Jonathon► jonathonaslay.com/coaching
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  • @tinanicholson9557
    @tinanicholson9557 8 месяцев назад +60

    This is what I’ve learned
    Get fit and look after my appearance
    Take care of my finances. Save money and have a good credit score
    Smile and show respect
    Have integrity. Do what I say I’m gonna do and admit failures
    Not to chase men. If a man wants to be in my life, he will make it known

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  8 месяцев назад +8

      Yes

    • @mardigras33
      @mardigras33 8 месяцев назад +1

      That’s what I do. I do my part within my control to make myself desirable for myself…meaning I motivate myself to maintain the standards that I’ve set for myself. So there are certain things that go against my standards for myself, such as looking unfit, unsexy and too homely, excessive spending, eating unhealthy, self pity, being ungrateful. These are my deal breakers for myself and when I start to slip into bad situations I fire that part of me and hire a new me. So if these are my standards for myself, imagine a guy⁉️🤔

    • @angiej4865
      @angiej4865 8 месяцев назад +1

      I've got a first date lined up. Having had 2 long phone chats, he's told me he doesn't have a job or a car, is living with a friend and is still suffering from long COVID. My financial and health circumstances are exactly the opposite. Since I do not want or need to be a nurse or a purse I think I should cancel. Thoughts anyone? I'm afraid he'll choose me...😂

    • @knisa1132
      @knisa1132 8 месяцев назад

      ​@@mardigras33❤

    • @user-sj6kg2tu9e
      @user-sj6kg2tu9e 8 месяцев назад

      👍🏻🙂 wow copy - paste in my iphone

  • @katjavuori
    @katjavuori 8 месяцев назад +53

    I met my "soulmate" at 57. He's avoidant and I'm anxious, but we know this and work together to become better versions of ourselves. Recognising old traumas and communication are essential.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  8 месяцев назад +3

      Thanks for sharing

    • @HANNAHLUMERIA-it5rw
      @HANNAHLUMERIA-it5rw 8 месяцев назад +3

    • @lc-fu6xy
      @lc-fu6xy 8 месяцев назад +1

      Thats beautiful ❤

    • @colleen2b
      @colleen2b 8 месяцев назад +1

      How did you meet him?

    • @katjavuori
      @katjavuori 8 месяцев назад

      @@colleen2b We met through an online dating app called OkCupid, and corresponded for 6 months before our first date, since we don't live in the same country. He lives on his farm and I spend there around 6 months per year at the moment. I'm planning to move there permanently later. Unfortunately he can't visit me until he will retire, but this works well for us. We communicate quite a lot every day, which is important for our long distance relationship to work, and especially for me since I have anxious attachment style. Our love languages are pretty similar, which makes us compatible. The most important thing for us is spending quality time together, and the least important is gifts. We are both interested in farming, history and archaeology, so we have a lot in common. The best relationship I've ever been in. ❤️

  • @soundofsilence1483
    @soundofsilence1483 8 месяцев назад +14

    Ladies we don't need compete with another women because I believe right person will choose you and always choose you.
    Now, if the guy has many choices called "friends" collect and select ...I'm out lol! 😂

  • @lc-fu6xy
    @lc-fu6xy 8 месяцев назад +15

    So true about vibrational energy. I once had a date with a man I connected with online. From the start, I felt a slight friction but couldn't put my finger on it. I agreed to a date and there it was from the moment he opened the door. We ended up in a screaming match at the restaurant! That has never happened to me, I hate public drama. He continued to berate me over text after I left and then "graciously" offered to give me another chance!! 😂😂 I was flabbergasted and cussed him out, to say the least. Listen to those vibrational instincts ladies!! Some people thrive on drama. I'm too old for that sh@t!!

  • @Wise-Sophia
    @Wise-Sophia 8 месяцев назад +14

    Avoidant people are difficult-impossible to have a relationship with -- particularly for an Avoidant. It is essential for ALL OF US to heal inside now to change this crazy world.

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 8 месяцев назад

      Indeed. Jonathon's podcast on "Can An Avoidant Man Speak My Love Language?" is excellent

  • @cutie3020
    @cutie3020 7 месяцев назад +2

    I got dumped because I love to take alcohol during weekends. My boyfriend then told me he can't be with a woman who drinks because his father was an alcoholic. It's true that many people have unhealed trauma.

  • @mariedropkin59
    @mariedropkin59 8 месяцев назад +8

    I once heard you say most people dating were anxious. While I thought I was a healthy attached person, once I felt him pulling away or not projecting future plans for us, I became anxious about our future. Maybe those of us who have experienced something like this, we don’t feel safe anymore.

  • @user-rp9qo2gx7v
    @user-rp9qo2gx7v 8 месяцев назад +12

    Jonathon,your grade school teacher was stating how she felt about herself.I want to state you are highly intelligent! 21:10

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  8 месяцев назад +2

      Thank you 😊

    • @glenyshill72
      @glenyshill72 8 месяцев назад +3

      Agree,
      yes, the grade school teacher was almost certainly projecting.
      Extremely unprofessional and immature though and wouldn't have done her charges any favours at all with her attitude.
      You should never have had to experience that Jonathon.

    • @renette0506
      @renette0506 8 месяцев назад

      I'm sending you a BIG JONATHAN BEAR HUG...and for that child who received the projection from that terrible teacher. Go in & love that child, feel it & love love love him. I'm rooting for you, dear Jonathan.

  • @margaretcampbell2681
    @margaretcampbell2681 8 месяцев назад +7

    Yes you are right about imprinting. I am an avoidant because I had to avoid my mother as her mental illness made me terrified of her rage 😡

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 8 месяцев назад

      Hi Margaret. Have you read the book. Toxic Parents by Susan Forward?

    • @taraA1976
      @taraA1976 8 месяцев назад

      I’m so sorry, Margaret! I hope you have been on a healing journey! I pray you heal and find a happy and healthy relationship! 🙏

  • @lauranugent9039
    @lauranugent9039 8 месяцев назад +6

    You are so right on so many of these points I think especially the timing when 2 people are ready it is so much better when y connect I laughed when y we’re a kid your mother abandoned you at a time I was the oldest of 5 kids my mother was always exhausted my father worked 2 jobs she catered mostly to him we were the generation kids were seen but not heard that much..anyway I think it made me stronger in life paid my way through nsg school bought my own house & raised 4 kids on my own who tk god all put themselves through college I left an abusive man went on to find the love of my life was married for 30yrs he passed away in June & here I am again I think I know what I’m looking for but these dating sites attract very dysfunctional men! Tk you I love your advice BTW my brothers think like you do about men they’re old school but that’s ok!

  • @rethagroenewald856
    @rethagroenewald856 6 месяцев назад +1

    Hi Jonathan, I'm in South Africa and one of my weightloss clients is 99% your double - that was by the way.
    My real reason for popping in, is to say a HUGH thank you for your teaching and inspirational video's.
    At 72 (wise, not old) I'm back into dating. I took 13yrs off - had to deal with spiritual awakening (or rather bootcamp, coz it's not peaceful at all - peace is the outcome)
    I can just say: what you teach, is what I believe, do and stick by - otherwise, Bye-bye.
    Please carry on with what you're doing best🤗 I wish you a great and lasting new relationship in 2024🎶

  • @mimimorales6999
    @mimimorales6999 8 месяцев назад +5

    Just ordered your book!!!Just keeps on getting better❤Tyou!!

  • @margaretcampbell2681
    @margaretcampbell2681 8 месяцев назад +2

    I agree about vibrating at the same level, energies that don’t clash. I am learning Greek as 2 Greek men made me feel loved even though I don’t have romantic relationships with them and I am so grateful Timing is so important. ❤

  • @margaretcampbell2681
    @margaretcampbell2681 8 месяцев назад +2

    I agree so many people don’t know how to resolve relationships

  • @scullyfox4271
    @scullyfox4271 8 месяцев назад +10

    This seems overly complicated. Men choose a woman they find attractive and easy to get along with.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  8 месяцев назад +4

      Pretty much

    • @katsato3118
      @katsato3118 8 месяцев назад +2

      Even that can be complicated though as some men aren't easy to get along with but believe they are so to them a partner must be agreeable and have no sense of autonomy, and if they're otherwise then the woman is of course...not easy to get along with. (This does happen with both genders)

  • @bettywinn8296
    @bettywinn8296 8 месяцев назад +1

    Really liked this message with all your details. Thank you, brother!

  • @catalinaherrera2870
    @catalinaherrera2870 8 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you! Enjoyed the video! I’m currently reading Attached. ❤

  • @lauriemorales7605
    @lauriemorales7605 8 месяцев назад +3

    Bullying is a big incident, in my opinion 😢 sorry you experienced that

  • @MariglynBautista
    @MariglynBautista 16 дней назад

    This is gold!

  • @martymasden2737
    @martymasden2737 8 месяцев назад

    Thanks Jonathan. Great viedo

  • @MariglynBautista
    @MariglynBautista 16 дней назад

    This is gold.

  • @barbaravaldez62
    @barbaravaldez62 8 месяцев назад +1

    Thank You Jonathon !!

  • @lauriemorales7605
    @lauriemorales7605 8 месяцев назад +2

    You have familiarized me with love attachment styles. I feel I am anxious attachment style, which I am trying to change and making progress.

  • @Pickles1497
    @Pickles1497 8 месяцев назад +3

    Good morning Jonathon ❤

  • @martiemc8398
    @martiemc8398 8 месяцев назад +16

    Can you go through life alone and realize that you can buy yourself diamonds you can buy yourself a home you can buy yourself nice cars. You can have a fulfilling life without a man that’s what he really wants you when you don’t need him.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  8 месяцев назад +8

      And yet, men want to feel needed...

    • @carlahabib1768
      @carlahabib1768 8 месяцев назад +9

      Yeah, but you can’t buy love and intimacy.

    • @judyperri9496
      @judyperri9496 8 месяцев назад +7

      @@JonathonAslayThey don’t want to give us what we need them for Not talking about material things here

    • @lindsay3793
      @lindsay3793 8 месяцев назад +7

      Material items are nice but they do not replace fulfillment of relationships.

    • @chicagoresident973
      @chicagoresident973 8 месяцев назад +3

      You couldn't be more right. Even Apostle Paul, who wrote more of the original Bible than any other writer, said 1Corithians chapter 7 verse 6. Cor7:6

  • @nancyhynes804
    @nancyhynes804 8 месяцев назад

    I ordered the book 😊

  • @Hrazoart
    @Hrazoart 26 дней назад

    Peace. This is the secret. She has to have it inside herself first before she can offer it to a man. This is what will make a man devote himself. If he feels safe, he will move mountains for you. If you allow him to be vulnerable without using it against him, he would die for you. Cherish that because everything ends someday.

  • @MSUSPARTANS1973
    @MSUSPARTANS1973 8 месяцев назад +5

    I have a love-hate relationship with Jonathan. I love listening to him. He makes a lot of sense, and on we go. I hate that he makes me think so much.😓

  • @CBReal1290
    @CBReal1290 3 месяца назад

    The very intro is deep shit that explains what not to swim in. I love it because I finally woke up.To opposites don't attract and that's what I want.I want birds with feather flock together.Play, so that's what I'm going for equivalent or better.Good luckt you all or us all

  • @Christina-yu3gu
    @Christina-yu3gu 8 месяцев назад +1

    I’m def an Avoidant & I am attracted to men who are expressive & open wit feelings

  • @OhioGalReads
    @OhioGalReads 7 месяцев назад

    I enjoyed this video.

  • @iluvlola6439
    @iluvlola6439 8 месяцев назад

    This is a great platform for you to Interview and date women.

  • @lauriemorales7605
    @lauriemorales7605 8 месяцев назад +1

    Yes, alcoholic, abusive father caused me to choose similar men 😢

  • @TinaPennock-tl6xr
    @TinaPennock-tl6xr 8 месяцев назад

    Love love love this one❤

  • @jennifergaudern1147
    @jennifergaudern1147 8 месяцев назад

    Thanks!

  • @Pickles1497
    @Pickles1497 8 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you❤

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  8 месяцев назад

      You're welcome 😊

    • @Pickles1497
      @Pickles1497 8 месяцев назад +1

      I would love to give my husband the book The Hoffman Process.But we're not talking. Would he read it I don't know. But like you said in another video ,it's up to him to heal/work on himself. I can't do it for him. Thanks Jonathon. Give yourself another big hug.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  8 месяцев назад

      ​@@Pickles1497exactly

  • @Jmnicole.Ludtke
    @Jmnicole.Ludtke 7 месяцев назад

    Anxious here 👀

  • @kayladunlap928
    @kayladunlap928 8 месяцев назад

    I have been though this pain it killed me he now wants to get back together after leaveing her 😮😢

  • @margaretcampbell2681
    @margaretcampbell2681 8 месяцев назад

    My mother was away from me for a few days and it was abandonment to me

  • @tennesseerose6400
    @tennesseerose6400 8 месяцев назад +1

    They'll pick the one they can manipulate more. And the one where they have to pay less bills. The one he can destroy quickest=

    • @mardigras33
      @mardigras33 8 месяцев назад +1

      Blaaaaaha so true

  • @localplusrene4029
    @localplusrene4029 7 месяцев назад

    Totally agree. I think the same. About TF. And SMate. I think is poorly explained and promoted. And used in the wrong contexts. When addressed . As a individual gaining a fully and accurate comprehension of the TF. Or Soulmate. Saying is the nly saying. You still go too do the work spiritually. On the physical and now you still have too do the work. A title and feelings is only a figment of the meaning of a TF or A Soul mate .or a Devine being. You still got too do the work. You still have walk the talk. Spiritual or in reality. Amen

  • @colleencarbone2074
    @colleencarbone2074 8 месяцев назад +1

    I learned the other day that if you had caregiver emotionally unavailable you fantasize too much limerance when its not real and reality, if that makes sense

  • @sherriflemming3218
    @sherriflemming3218 8 месяцев назад +2

    Healthy love is safe.

  • @joanlynch5271
    @joanlynch5271 8 месяцев назад +2

    Please, I need to know 😭🙏

  • @barbaradubois8911
    @barbaradubois8911 7 месяцев назад

    I think we are all messed up in the head!!!!!!!

  • @enidrobson3385
    @enidrobson3385 8 месяцев назад

    Hi Jonathan. Once again thank you so very much for all your excellent advice as always. It truely all makes so much sense and above all you explain it all so well which makes it so easy to understand and follow.
    Best regards.

  • @angiej4865
    @angiej4865 8 месяцев назад +1

    I've got a first date lined up but I'm considering cancelling as I'm afraid he'll choose me. In 2 phone conversations he's told me he doesn’t have a job, a car or a pension (he's 58), is living with a friend with no prospect or plan to have his own place, is suffering from long COVID. My circumstances are exactly the opposite. I have no plan to be either a nurse or a purse. Should I meet then bail or cancel now? Thoughts anyone?

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  8 месяцев назад

      What does your gut say?

    • @Theinfamouskiki411
      @Theinfamouskiki411 8 месяцев назад +2

      Run girl

    • @innazorina3928
      @innazorina3928 8 месяцев назад

      Im sure you shouldn't be sorry if you cancel it finally, it's your life and your choice, you're not obliged to please anyone, haven't even met before. You shouldn't feel guilty while rejecting someone. Couple minutes of inconvenience, and you are ready to meet new man, more suitable for you!!)

  • @margaretcampbell2681
    @margaretcampbell2681 8 месяцев назад

    I know what you mean, there are very little consequences for poor behaviour

  • @margaretcampbell2681
    @margaretcampbell2681 8 месяцев назад

    Yes we do chose partners like our parents

    • @sherriflemming3218
      @sherriflemming3218 8 месяцев назад +1

      I do my best to RUN from any Imagos as fast as I can! 🏃

  • @user-sj6kg2tu9e
    @user-sj6kg2tu9e 8 месяцев назад

    So great to find you here 😃 thanks from a 38 traumatised single lady from the country across the ocean, which name better not to mention…probably 🇷🇺 🙈🙂👏🏻🙏🏻👋🏻🌍❤️

  • @m.hauks.6939
    @m.hauks.6939 7 месяцев назад

    When is the right time to have that talk to see if there is any future relationship,,,,,,,we are still casual taking time to know n forhim to open up ,,, he's divorced ,, I was and in 2 more serious ones ,,, I don't like this longtime thing for him to open up ,,! How should I go about this 'talk'

  • @christinalubumad
    @christinalubumad 8 месяцев назад

    😂 Janathan thank you very much for explaining everything but I’m not interested. ❤✌️

  • @user-oe9vh1xj6k
    @user-oe9vh1xj6k 8 месяцев назад

    I would love to talk to u might me learn something

  • @rosiemac2538
    @rosiemac2538 8 месяцев назад

    Btw - the picture behind you of your sons when they were young is adorable. Just thinking
    Maybe you would be suited to a more traditional homebody type of lady Jonathan! I think its great ypu want to get married sgain also..( Way to go !). just some thoughts 😊

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  8 месяцев назад

      Thanks for the tip!

    • @denisekisela6704
      @denisekisela6704 8 месяцев назад

      I have been a fan from the beginning!
      You have helped me and so many others. I finally understand my style of love, so I actually found someone 6 weeks ago and now we have a great connection. I still watch every podcast because you continue to help this process. Bless you!😊

  • @SL.1.0.1
    @SL.1.0.1 8 месяцев назад

    Where has Marie been?? I like her take on things

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  8 месяцев назад

      Our romantic relationship has ended

    • @SL.1.0.1
      @SL.1.0.1 8 месяцев назад

      @@JonathonAslay Nnnnooooooo!!!! 💔

  • @Pickles1497
    @Pickles1497 8 месяцев назад

    How much was raised yesterday? I hope it was beyond goal.

  • @user-zv4ux5wb4i
    @user-zv4ux5wb4i 7 месяцев назад

    Because they are feeling wanted again?

  • @zensvlognotapro
    @zensvlognotapro 8 месяцев назад

    I have a trauma in poverty and alcoholic people.

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  8 месяцев назад +1

      I understand 🙏

    • @zensvlognotapro
      @zensvlognotapro 8 месяцев назад

      @@JonathonAslay thanks because of that I limit myself I don't want to sell liquor on my store no cigarettes too inspite people told me sell cigarettes and liquor you'll gonna sell more.
      I told them God want us to be happy and healthy 🙏.

  • @melissajenniferjones9959
    @melissajenniferjones9959 8 месяцев назад +1

    🤗

  • @user-xf1fz6bt8j
    @user-xf1fz6bt8j 7 месяцев назад

    I don’t agree with you, I am 67 and a widow and I dated since my husband died, he was abusive and I couldn’t leave him for my vows were sacred.

    • @user-xf1fz6bt8j
      @user-xf1fz6bt8j 7 месяцев назад

      He PSTD after retiring from the fire department.

  • @carolmoore83
    @carolmoore83 8 месяцев назад

    What about us 70 year olds willing to hang with 50 year olds. Are we cougars, or is that only for 30 to 55 year old women interested in the 20 and 30 year old guys who out of luck cause all the older men got the younger women??

    • @JonathonAslay
      @JonathonAslay  8 месяцев назад +2

      You can do what works for you...

  • @margaretcampbell2681
    @margaretcampbell2681 8 месяцев назад +1

    Yes most are in the dysfunctional group. Twin flames is so overhyped.

  • @joannedomingo2398
    @joannedomingo2398 8 месяцев назад

    Twin flames are not as good as Soulmates

    • @lk80630
      @lk80630 7 месяцев назад

      I hear so much about sole mates and twin flames .... To me it's so much misinterpretation of what you are experiencing. The true mystical or however you want to call it connection/ meant to be kind of thing is so extremely rare. It's just that everyone wants to feel special and of course there is a soul mate out there for me! I have to tell you, it's not really the case for most people. Speaking from experience actually. And comparing to what others are saying. Not true. But the truth is, there are people who are more compatible with one another on many levels. And it's a good thing.

  • @Pickles1497
    @Pickles1497 8 месяцев назад +2

    Emotionally unhealthy 😔

  • @motowngirl5891
    @motowngirl5891 8 месяцев назад

    There is no such thing

  • @tabithagathoni4531
    @tabithagathoni4531 7 месяцев назад

    Hello Jonathan, have been been watching and listening to most of your videos, what I can sey is they're awesome, but am requesting just one favour please, help me come in USA please, if you're in a position to help, my career, am professionally a chef, experience of ten years, having worked in a busy environment, please help me, am yuny born and raised in Kenya Africa,. Waiting to hear from you soon. Thanks

  • @beastewart2293
    @beastewart2293 8 месяцев назад +3

    This is going to sound awful..but I'm saying anyway! I don't need a man to buy me things..I csn do that myself. I am looking for someone who I am attracted to and vice versa. However, I seem to attract men that IM SIMPLY NOT attracted to. I would rather be by myself until I find the right person. I cannot è sexual relationship with a man I'm not attracted to. Let me be Frank...Once a man only touched my arm and I shuddered in repulsion..it sounds horrible but that is innate ...I cannot help it. Imnot going to force myself to be in a relationship with a man I'm not attracted to and hope and force myself ro love him. I don't care how much money his had...just can't! Eugh.
    Im.surw the same would be for a man who wasn't attracted to me. I couldn't blame him for that. Apology for spelling, I'm at work nd not got time to spell check!

  • @anjellyj616
    @anjellyj616 8 месяцев назад

    🐻💋😘❤️

  • @lauriemorales7605
    @lauriemorales7605 8 месяцев назад +1

    I don't believe in twin flames

  • @m.o.s.h.1836
    @m.o.s.h.1836 8 месяцев назад

    twinflame is not biblical.

  • @cathleenhall8686
    @cathleenhall8686 8 месяцев назад

    Your talk is all over the place. You do not explain the 3 types or give examples. You tend to get off on a tangent and not back to the point of this talk.