Im not cluster B, but I’ve wondered about this. Everyone has narcissistic, even psychopathic traits. I think back on some of the negative things I did in my younger years and see that it was narcissistic. And for many years I didn’t feel much empathy about them, mostly just shame. Now I would never make those decisions again and I feel guilty over them suddenly years later. What caused this empathy to turn on is doing work on myself. Can’t go back in time, but I’ve definitely changed. It made me think many cluster B can have the same experience. I would never expect 100% out of anyone, but it’s going in a positive direction is what counts.
New to this channel and it reminded me of a old (80s? ) documentary. Where a very young girl, went through horrible things I won't say here and it made her a sociopath very early in life. She got help and spent a lot of time with animals. Riding horses, caring for them and did eventually build a bond with them. Eventually she became a loving wife and a large animal vet. It was proven long ago that this IS a treatable condition. Saying that "someone can't change" also in a way seems like you're giving them permission to continue acting that way. Your removing the responsibility from their actions. The cycles will never end like that. Support and accountability go hand in hand.
This was very refreshing to hear coming from you. Very inspiring, I believe in you and I'm a victim.You so that there is hope for some who want it and do the work to get it.
I was just going to object that it is intended to help survivors who have false hopes about the abuser's potential for change, but then you pretty much acknowledged that yourself. Well said, no more objections. I also used to feel rather stigmatized by this evil and demonizing image when I just got into psychology and started seeing myself within this characterization, and looking at my share of bad deeds. It only really clicked once I learned about childhood trauma, after which I stopped sticking any of those 'personality disorder' labels onto myself. Nowadays I really dislike even the very concept of 'personality disorder', because it implies there is something wrong with my personality, while in reality, my personality is an extremely ingenious, perfectly natural and expectable adaptation to the horrors I have been through and the ways I have been treated. Yes, I can and I should get better so as not to further harm myself or innocents, but that does not mean that my personality is somehow 'wrong' or that it is my fault or something inherently evil about me. Also, trying to jump immediately to the 'change' part without figuring out what exactly happened and why I really am this way is skipping over huge and very important steps on the healing journey.
I’ve seen people online (now you included) who speak about their disorders and help others. It seems this is being done out of a place of wanting to help people, sooo… that right there kinda disproves a lot of what’s said about these people with these disorders. I know these things are likely on spectrums, but clearly there are many who are on those spectrums, diagnosis and all, who want to help others and who choose to help others. Dehumanizing people is never the way. I see social ostracism as a form of dehumanizing.
More like unimpressive individuals without skills or talent needs to post about being a narcissist to fill their "narcissistic supply". A true narcissist generally won't out themselves as a narcissist in a public forum, even if they are self-aware and in therapy. This is done for attention.
I'm glad you can share your story. A lot of people who get diagnosed with these types of malignant disorders tend to rally the troops behind them on social media and your videos seem pretty neutral. You aren't trying to push a false agenda about people with these disorders and come across more realistic than pandering.
The rhetoric that narcissists don't/aren't likely to change, is NOT MEANT TO help the narcissist. The rhetoric is meant to help free the victims whom the narcissist destroys. Many victims of narcissistic abuse will stay in an abusive relationship holding onto the hope that one day the narcissist may change. That hope can be detrimental to those caught in the narcissist's wake of destruction. Edit: In fact, that hope can be (and has been) deadly for many victims. That is why the rhetoric will stay the same. Thus, if you have the desire to change, let that desire motivate you to change. There is no need to seek validation from others about whether or not you can personally change. That is a personal decision you need to make for yourself.
Free the victims from... What exactly? You aren't feeding yourself from anything by praying for another's downfall. You're also telling yourself lies and feeding yourself a narrative to make yourself feel better, when you probably should just not do that... This is again true, but simultaneously what does that say about YOU? You stayed. Never had boundaries. Ignored red flags. Don't hold people accountable by their actions, only words. Also are you certain these are NPD's? Not HPD's, BPD's or just a holes? 😂 Stop throwing the word Narcissist around. You aren't really capable of diagnosing, contribute to stigma, downplay abuse in general that is just abuse. Anyone can be abusive. Watch Deltas other videos and you'll understand. Also that's not for you to say either. You choose to change, others can and should validate you if they so choose. You need support to move on. To grow beyond your defenses. Hope you come around eventually.. this mentality isn't healthy to vilify anyone. 🤷
I've just seen some of your videos, and this one in particular. My english is not good, i'm French. I've had my own experience with narcissistic people, but i won't talk about it here. I just see that you're talking with honesty about your issues. I have respect for people taking ownership of their issues n trying to fix em. You are young, so you have room to grow if you want to, and i can see that you want to improve. I sincerely pray for your life to get better and that you can have a more fullfilling life experience, because i'm sure there is a lot of pain n loneliness behind those eyes. You deserve happiness like any one of us. I was moved by your honesty, and your will to change, and the calm n resolute way you talk about this. You will make progress for sure, because you seem determined to improve. But you'll probably have to attend therapy for many years to get best results, as you probably already know. This is going to be a life marathon. Just go slow, n never give up. Once again, you are young, so the space for improvement is big. You probably had adverse childhood experiences n trauma, and i know what it can be like, but for some reason i happened to end up on the empathetic part of the spectrum, instead of going towards the narcissistic direction. I guess i was just lucky, i dont think that kids have a choice , and personnality just develops one way, or the other. You just developped heavy defense mechanisms to protect yourself as a child. I sincerely pray for you, you deserve to improve since you want to. Keep being honest with yourself, I would love to have a few conversations with you, you seem to be an interesting person. Take care and change the odds that life stacked against you when you were a child. You will improve and you'll change your own life if you want to. Best regards, Ben.
My therapist told me she isn't going to diagnose people, because some are identifying with the Diagnose and never being in health= just being who you are. You seem very healthy to me.
You certainly didn't sound like a Narcissist in the vid, I'm really impressed with the way you presented yourself and keep up the good work, kind regards from a Borderliner 🙏🏽
So... You wouldn't change on your own? You only change if you have the support to change. So basically. You only change because other people "help" you to change. It doesn't come from the heart. because if you truly wanted to, you would've done it on your own... Got it!
I can't say I'm/was a narcissist for sure because I am a minor who manipulated my way out of going to the psych ward, i needed people/therapy to help me change because I would have continued my problematic behaviors. If my victims had not abandoned me /spoke up I would have continued to manipulate. If my dad had not called me out in love. If he never would have sent me to therapy, I would have continued to manipulate and verbally abuse the girl who considered me her best friend, and loved me. I also have BPD symptoms and thought she was abandoning me when really she loved me and was afraid of me. But now, I actually have a change of heart and I still act narcissistic at times, but it's not nearly as much
I don't think anybody heals because they 'truly want to' or 'it comes from their heart'. People start wanting to heal because they suffer horribly and begin to realize that something must radically change. And support is an essential part of healing, because real, deep healing is excruciatingly difficult, perhaps bordering on impossible if you try to do it completely alone. There is a reason why people pay big money to therapists who help them get into their trauma and make sense of it. That being said, healing is nobody else's job or responsibility, and it is not contingent on any one person staying or helping. In a way, it really must come from the inside, and other people can at best help and support you when you are *already* set on a path within.
No shit, if you have lived your entire life underground, it won't occur to you that you could leave and live in the light unless someone shows you it's possible. Needing help to get started doesn't invalidate the insane amount of personal work needed to get better. You could even argue there's no point trying to get better without some level of support. 1. We are social animals, we can't do everything on our own BY DESIGN. 2. The problem is that you're hurting other people because you have been traumatized and can't comprehend people being genuinely nice and caring about you. Why would you do the insane amount of work needed to stop hurting people if you KNOW they don't care about you, don't even see you as a person? Honestly, I don't know you, I believe you meant well, but this comment sounds extremely arrogant and close-minded. This is exactly the type of mindset that makes mentally ill people less likely to get better (for themselves AND for others) and more likely to continue the cycle of abuse.
@@ignasmaciulis1095 you're wrong... They can't, because the internal mechanisms for long term change are tied to motivation. Are motivation is tied to sex, admiration and stuff. How do you not logically understand the issue? You positing that question proves you don't understand. I'm not saying that in a "Nobody on earth understands me", but they have more insight to gain until they aren't contributing to stigma and actually destroying real knowledge with pop psychology bs
![Summer Walker - Heart Of A Woman [Official Lyric Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/SFddctbZzw8/mqdefault.jpg)
Completely agree. I am not a diagnosed narcissist, but I had clear narcissistic tendencies. These can be overcome. It is definitely possible.
Im not cluster B, but I’ve wondered about this. Everyone has narcissistic, even psychopathic traits. I think back on some of the negative things I did in my younger years and see that it was narcissistic. And for many years I didn’t feel much empathy about them, mostly just shame. Now I would never make those decisions again and I feel guilty over them suddenly years later. What caused this empathy to turn on is doing work on myself. Can’t go back in time, but I’ve definitely changed. It made me think many cluster B can have the same experience. I would never expect 100% out of anyone, but it’s going in a positive direction is what counts.
New to this channel and it reminded me of a old (80s? ) documentary. Where a very young girl, went through horrible things I won't say here and it made her a sociopath very early in life. She got help and spent a lot of time with animals. Riding horses, caring for them and did eventually build a bond with them. Eventually she became a loving wife and a large animal vet. It was proven long ago that this IS a treatable condition. Saying that "someone can't change" also in a way seems like you're giving them permission to continue acting that way. Your removing the responsibility from their actions. The cycles will never end like that. Support and accountability go hand in hand.
This was very refreshing to hear coming from you. Very inspiring, I believe in you and I'm a victim.You so that there is hope for some who want it and do the work to get it.
I was just going to object that it is intended to help survivors who have false hopes about the abuser's potential for change, but then you pretty much acknowledged that yourself. Well said, no more objections.
I also used to feel rather stigmatized by this evil and demonizing image when I just got into psychology and started seeing myself within this characterization, and looking at my share of bad deeds. It only really clicked once I learned about childhood trauma, after which I stopped sticking any of those 'personality disorder' labels onto myself. Nowadays I really dislike even the very concept of 'personality disorder', because it implies there is something wrong with my personality, while in reality, my personality is an extremely ingenious, perfectly natural and expectable adaptation to the horrors I have been through and the ways I have been treated. Yes, I can and I should get better so as not to further harm myself or innocents, but that does not mean that my personality is somehow 'wrong' or that it is my fault or something inherently evil about me. Also, trying to jump immediately to the 'change' part without figuring out what exactly happened and why I really am this way is skipping over huge and very important steps on the healing journey.
Yes! So glad people like you are out there, people need hope and examples of people who are working on improving themselves!
I’ve seen people online (now you included) who speak about their disorders and help others. It seems this is being done out of a place of wanting to help people, sooo… that right there kinda disproves a lot of what’s said about these people with these disorders. I know these things are likely on spectrums, but clearly there are many who are on those spectrums, diagnosis and all, who want to help others and who choose to help others. Dehumanizing people is never the way. I see social ostracism as a form of dehumanizing.
More like unimpressive individuals without skills or talent needs to post about being a narcissist to fill their "narcissistic supply". A true narcissist generally won't out themselves as a narcissist in a public forum, even if they are self-aware and in therapy. This is done for attention.
I'm glad you can share your story. A lot of people who get diagnosed with these types of malignant disorders tend to rally the troops behind them on social media and your videos seem pretty neutral. You aren't trying to push a false agenda about people with these disorders and come across more realistic than pandering.
Things show up in life at just the perfect time.🎉 Dispite all of this i am choosing better for myself 🎉
You are absolutely correct! ❤️🩹
The rhetoric that narcissists don't/aren't likely to change, is NOT MEANT TO help the narcissist.
The rhetoric is meant to help free the victims whom the narcissist destroys.
Many victims of narcissistic abuse will stay in an abusive relationship holding onto the hope that one day the narcissist may change.
That hope can be detrimental to those caught in the narcissist's wake of destruction.
Edit: In fact, that hope can be (and has been) deadly for many victims. That is why the rhetoric will stay the same.
Thus, if you have the desire to change, let that desire motivate you to change. There is no need to seek validation from others about whether or not you can personally change. That is a personal decision you need to make for yourself.
Free the victims from... What exactly? You aren't feeding yourself from anything by praying for another's downfall.
You're also telling yourself lies and feeding yourself a narrative to make yourself feel better, when you probably should just not do that...
This is again true, but simultaneously what does that say about YOU? You stayed. Never had boundaries. Ignored red flags. Don't hold people accountable by their actions, only words.
Also are you certain these are NPD's? Not HPD's, BPD's or just a holes? 😂
Stop throwing the word Narcissist around. You aren't really capable of diagnosing, contribute to stigma, downplay abuse in general that is just abuse. Anyone can be abusive.
Watch Deltas other videos and you'll understand.
Also that's not for you to say either. You choose to change, others can and should validate you if they so choose. You need support to move on. To grow beyond your defenses.
Hope you come around eventually.. this mentality isn't healthy to vilify anyone. 🤷
So happy to hear that your partner stood by you. I wish you both well.
True. I totally agree.
I've just seen some of your videos, and this one in particular.
My english is not good, i'm French.
I've had my own experience with narcissistic people, but i won't talk about it here.
I just see that you're talking with honesty about your issues.
I have respect for people taking ownership of their issues n trying to fix em.
You are young, so you have room to grow if you want to, and i can see that you want to improve.
I sincerely pray for your life to get better and that you can have a more fullfilling life experience, because i'm sure there is a lot of pain n loneliness behind those eyes.
You deserve happiness like any one of us.
I was moved by your honesty, and your will to change, and the calm n resolute way you talk about this.
You will make progress for sure, because you seem determined to improve.
But you'll probably have to attend therapy for many years to get best results, as you probably already know.
This is going to be a life marathon. Just go slow, n never give up.
Once again, you are young, so the space for improvement is big.
You probably had adverse childhood experiences n trauma, and i know what it can be like, but for some reason i happened to end up on the empathetic part of the spectrum, instead of going towards the narcissistic direction.
I guess i was just lucky, i dont think that kids have a choice , and personnality just develops one way, or the other.
You just developped heavy defense mechanisms to protect yourself as a child.
I sincerely pray for you, you deserve to improve since you want to.
Keep being honest with yourself, I would love to have a few conversations with you, you seem to be an interesting person.
Take care and change the odds that life stacked against you when you were a child. You will improve and you'll change your own life if you want to.
Best regards,
Ben.
Wow, well spoken! I wish you all the best with your growth.
Never give up! You are courageous. Thank you!
Thank you for saying this.
Thank you for this!
My therapist told me she isn't going to diagnose people, because some are identifying with the Diagnose and never being in health= just being who you are. You seem very healthy to me.
My thoughts exactly!! 🫂
You make a valid point
You certainly didn't sound like a Narcissist in the vid, I'm really impressed with the way you presented yourself and keep up the good work, kind regards from a Borderliner 🙏🏽
Im thankful you can shed light and explain things like this to me gods biggest joke
I agree with you 100%
Managing my mental illness is possible. Healing aspd isn't.
I too am inspected and an approved aspd.
ruclips.net/video/evfibHAqyBo/видео.html
They don’t even try
💯
Oooh you're COOKED!!! 🚬🚬🚬
Lol
So... You wouldn't change on your own? You only change if you have the support to change. So basically. You only change because other people "help" you to change. It doesn't come from the heart. because if you truly wanted to, you would've done it on your own... Got it!
I can't say I'm/was a narcissist for sure because I am a minor who manipulated my way out of going to the psych ward, i needed people/therapy to help me change because I would have continued my problematic behaviors. If my victims had not abandoned me /spoke up I would have continued to manipulate. If my dad had not called me out in love. If he never would have sent me to therapy, I would have continued to manipulate and verbally abuse the girl who considered me her best friend, and loved me. I also have BPD symptoms and thought she was abandoning me when really she loved me and was afraid of me. But now, I actually have a change of heart and I still act narcissistic at times, but it's not nearly as much
I don't think anybody heals because they 'truly want to' or 'it comes from their heart'. People start wanting to heal because they suffer horribly and begin to realize that something must radically change. And support is an essential part of healing, because real, deep healing is excruciatingly difficult, perhaps bordering on impossible if you try to do it completely alone. There is a reason why people pay big money to therapists who help them get into their trauma and make sense of it.
That being said, healing is nobody else's job or responsibility, and it is not contingent on any one person staying or helping. In a way, it really must come from the inside, and other people can at best help and support you when you are *already* set on a path within.
No shit, if you have lived your entire life underground, it won't occur to you that you could leave and live in the light unless someone shows you it's possible.
Needing help to get started doesn't invalidate the insane amount of personal work needed to get better. You could even argue there's no point trying to get better without some level of support.
1. We are social animals, we can't do everything on our own BY DESIGN.
2. The problem is that you're hurting other people because you have been traumatized and can't comprehend people being genuinely nice and caring about you. Why would you do the insane amount of work needed to stop hurting people if you KNOW they don't care about you, don't even see you as a person?
Honestly, I don't know you, I believe you meant well, but this comment sounds extremely arrogant and close-minded. This is exactly the type of mindset that makes mentally ill people less likely to get better (for themselves AND for others) and more likely to continue the cycle of abuse.
@@ignasmaciulis1095 you're wrong...
They can't, because the internal mechanisms for long term change are tied to motivation.
Are motivation is tied to sex, admiration and stuff.
How do you not logically understand the issue? You positing that question proves you don't understand. I'm not saying that in a "Nobody on earth understands me", but they have more insight to gain until they aren't contributing to stigma and actually destroying real knowledge with pop psychology bs
Coment for algorithm