The BPD Bunch S4E1: The BPD Favorite Person
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- Опубликовано: 14 окт 2024
- The BPD Bunch is back!!
Join Xannie, Alex, Georgette, Madhurima, Jay, and Katja in this exciting episode as they dive deep into the concept of the favorite person (FP). Alex kicks off the discussion by explaining what exactly an FP is. Together, they explore the impact of an FP relationship on BPD symptoms and how it can influence other relationships. Plus, don't miss out on their invaluable tips for effectively managing the attachment to an FP. Get ready for an insightful and engaging conversation that everyone can relate to!
Come back on Friday for an FP minisode: “How Do I Know If I Have a Favorite Person?“
Next week we’ll be back to discuss what a “BPD Episode” is. Can't wait? Join our BPD besties or BPD buddies tears on Patreon and watch our Patreon exclusive extended version of the episode today!
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Episode terms (the ones we mentioned but didn’t expand on)
1. Schizotypal personality disorder: Schizotypal personality disorder is a psychological condition where a person experiences eccentric thoughts, behaviors, and difficulties in social interactions. Individuals with this disorder may have peculiar beliefs, unusual perceptual experiences, and struggle with maintaining close relationships.
2. "Checking the facts" (DBT skill): "Checking the facts" is a useful skill from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that encourages individuals to examine and validate the accuracy of their thoughts and perceptions. By carefully questioning and gathering evidence, this skill helps people challenge their assumptions, minimize distortions, and make more informed and rational decisions. It promotes a balanced and objective perspective, leading to healthier and more effective problem-solving.
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About Us:
The BPD bunch is a RUclips talk show, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Each week we discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own ❤️ Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!
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Disclaimer:
Although several of our panelists work in the mental health field, we are all coming to you as people in functional recovery from BPD, and are not here to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Instead, we hope that by sharing our stories and what was helpful for us, you can gain some insight and direction into your own recovery ❤️🩹
Yes! When my FP gets along well with others, I get insanely jealous and either go quiet or insert myself like you.
It’s good that you at least can recognise that. Self awareness is the first step.
Not sure, but I may be an FP of some sort. If so, no need for jealousy. But if the Young Lady wishes to insert Herself, She should know by now that She's quite welcome. In fact, Her doing so may well provoke that other person to expose their own hidden, illicit agenda.
Getting ghosted or blocked by your FP when you know it’s because of being clingy and obsessive or SH behaviours is pure hell 😢
If anyone can understand and empathize it’s this community here..💚
The watering 🌹💦 analogy is a really good one! Overwatering one flower and not watering enough the other flowers. ❤🎉
Yeah, i could intensely feel that!
The SH conversation was soooooo relatable. I don’t miss those days at all.
I think the advice of having a more diverse friendship circle (or diverse relationships in general) is helpful, even for those who don’t struggle with the favourite person phenomenon.
Thanks for the line
"I wanna be my own favourite person"
I was recently diagnosed and have been looking for online community. This video was exactly what I needed to see today, I feel so understood.
Particularly, in hearing what Madhurima bravely shared, about using self harm, to express pain, to your FP and others. I feel a lot of shame around this, after taking repeated suicide attempts in response to the fear of losing my current FP (in close succession of painfully losing two previous other FPs too.) I'm now recovering after psychiatric hospitalisation and diagnosis.
Thank you for helping me feel like I'm not alone
:) I find you all so awesome
thank you very much. After 3 years of struggling I still don’t know what to do with my FP😢 I am aware of my low self value and high self shaming. And I am trying very hard to build self esteem. However I just don’t understand why I still have a very strong affection towards my FP even though I cut the relationship like 2 years ago…..Once I see my FP again I can’t help seeking safety from him…….. I’m confused and exhausted…… This video helps me figure out some of the thoughts. Thank you……
wow my 1st year of school i had a friend and i would explain it to people we were like shadows we did everything together always, i got to school one day and he was not there and they told me he died i made my mum take me to the funeral just after watching this and thinking more about this the trauma of losing him changed my life for ever just writing this the tears are coming .
I am 58 years old so its been awhile! wow
I am in the early stages of disentangling from an FP relationship, and trying to get to the actual friendship underneath. I love all your work, THANK YOU
thank you guys, i am trying to heal from bpd and i wanna find solutions online since therapy is expensive
very relatable. appreciate this episode.
I have BPD too and still deal with having a favourite person, thanks for sharing
So glad I found u guys. It just hit me today, I think the solution to my problem is to become my own favorite person. And I am so glad to hear someone else say the same thing
Love this video. I got so much out of it. Thank you guys. I'm trying to become my own FP (difficult journey) but glad i'm not alone x
I can relate to what is being said ...
Very very helpful vid, thank u
Feeling like my fp doesn't "need" me anymore, I just keep thinking, why, why, WHY!??? Feeling like being ripped in two.
i feel like i am a variable. depending on the combination of mental content i will display certain traits. I am sure i do not control it either. i dunno even how to think about beggining to, it makes me paranoid of everyone...a little anyways, i still feel... in control... like my variable self is in control, but whatever I am in that variable is not in control.
Can there be two favourite people, for different support
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I was a Favourite Person to two pwBPD who were high functioning. It's been difficult as I triggered their fear of abandonment and rejection! From research a pwBPD never really gets over a FP that they had a romantic and intimate relationship with especially as the FP will have imprinted on the pwBPD as I know I did!
I have BPD and I got over all of my FP. It might have taken me a few years, but I eventually did. I guess maybe it just depends on how much work the person has put into their recovery.
@@Shellbelle02 It will also be based on the age of those involved and the intensity of the relationship. Both were untreated. The imprint needs to be mentioned too based on all that they were introduced to by the FP, social standing and the "chameleon" effect! Even so it still took you a few years to get over the FP which apparently can be like a bereavement!
@@Happy-Me. You're talking about us like we're animals, who all follow the predictable patterns of this particular species. We're not.
We're human beings, like you, who share a common set of problems that often occur together and can sometimes be traced to common causes and common solutions. We remain individuals with individual characteristics.
It sounds to me like your research might have taken you to some online communities or writers (the Walking on Eggshells guys kill me) who talk about pwBPD in a dehumanizing way. As someone functionally recovered from BPD, I'm really uncomfortable with the way you are describing and relating to us.
@@liferadous Well that's just your opinion; you're entitled to it. Sadly it sounds like you're projecting!
@@Happy-Me.
Actually,
- "we're human beings just like you",
- "we don't all follow the same predictable patterns",
- "we are individuals with individual characteristics" and
- "I'm really uncomfortable with the way you're describing and relating to us"
aren't opinions, they are statements of fact.
"Sounds like you're projecting" is an opinion.
look like I was the favorite person . she faked a pregnancy to keep me from breaking up with her
and she also made up being raped in her past to make me feel sorry for her so I dont leave her.
at the same time she still was cheating on me.
I dont understand....if im her favorite person..why not treat me good so I dont leave ?