From what I've observed in a lot of videos and social media posts is that most people are cool with women being bisexual due to a fantasty projected upon men growing up . When it comes to men, in straight guys/girls mind, they are labeled instantly as a homosexual. Another observation is that a lot of women wont date a bisexual dude because of societal stigmas (STDs / being less masculine ) and religious beliefs. From personal experience with dating, after I've told a woman I'm bi I get ghosted instantly. Because of this, I instantly put it on my dating profiles. I haven't gotten much matching since then. However, I'm currently dating a guy with great prospect. So I may be off the market soon :)
Because most men women encounter want to sleep with them, including those " guy friends" who are just wanting for opportunity. Now remember that gay men have Grindr and, on average, sleep with 68 people ( straight men around 10). Bisexual guy has opportunities and "urges" to sleep with men ( bisexuals call them bi cycles). Why would a straight woman choose someone who's more like to: be non monogomous (57% bisexuals claim that monogamous relationship are sacrifice for them); like butt play and be vers/submissive; have more opportunities to cheat and hide those cheatings, since it's easier and quicker to sleep with men? Women want stability and feel they're enough, dating a bi guy is the opposite of what we want. As I said , even bi girls don't like bi men because they also know that "men's promiscuity+bisexuality" is unfortunate mixture
@@skittydrew unfortunately nope. He broke up with me in April to go back with his ex. He wasn’t fully over him when he started dating me. Oh well his loss ✌🏾. He had some yellow flags that were gonna be problems in the future anyway. There is someone out there for me. Just gotta get through the weeds.
In my experience as a bi guy & with conversation with other bi people, we do experience cycle of attraction to different genders, but when you are secure in your sexuality and find a lovely partner, the sex of the person doesn’t matter. It’s the personality, heart, and mind of the person that matter more. I say secure in their bisexuality because there are people who have a bi awakening or discovery process while in a relationship or marriage. These people haven’t fully understand their bisexuality because it a complicated sexuality because of the fluidity, societal pressure to be straight, & internal homophobia that prevent us from loving a person because they are the same gender.
I don’t like pressures and expectations on my sexuality. And certain people I’m attracted to sometimes will put a stamp on my sexuality without asking even.
@lucthin6245 so you go with women because you have to? I don't get what you are trying to say here? If you're an out bisexual then surely the hardest part is done. If you're not and with a woman, then aren't bisexuals supposed to like women anyway? Are you stringing women along? Confused.
BI Male here. It is a difficult life. I haven't been in a relationship in 18 years, and it's because I don't feel 100% fulfilled with a Male partner, or with a Female partner. So I avoid relationships, because I don't want to put another person through that.
In a sense. I have some similar reservations at times, I definitely do think that my potential partners may suffer from my fluidity as did some of my exes. My thought however is - what if bi date bi and may be let each over live a little more freely? What if in that scenario the relationship is actually stable and fun? I mean I don`t know for sure as I have only dated lesbians and straight men and I admit it was just plain scary to talk openly about my needs to them, but I intend to try to find my bi-person.
Came out @ 26. After getting married and having kids. Didn’t really piece the puzzle together before I got my life started. It’s extremely difficult and I’m fortunate to have a partner who is patient and understanding. Thank you for making this 🦋✨
@ it’s really a journey within itself. Marriage is already a journey two people share, being bi is a journey on its own so trying to navigate the two simultaneously is rough. But if you take good care of yourself and your partner the fruits are sweet.
Problem with that is most bi women are hypocritical they'll date the same sex but the minute a man does the same they get all wigged out about it 🙄 met too many women like that
@@lazo3251 it has to do with genetic constitution. Life Fluids. Science has Not caught Up. And in the Future youll be Able to heal the Hormone inblance.its Not Right to Like a man
This is the best explanation of the topic I've ever seen. Just open, honest, humble, nuanced and empathetic. That's so helpful for people's understanding. So much better than most of what you find on YT that's either total hating or hyper-defensive. As someone closer to the first category, the hyper-defensive mode does not help shift me.😆
I think one of the main issues is people are super insecure about them selves and begin to think of the ideas, "if my partners bi, am i ever gonna be able satisfy their needs when im only half of what theyre into. will they leave me for the opposite when were together, are they thinking of the opposite gender when were having sex ..... etc."
I can understand that fear some people might have. Unfortunately, it's based on the presumption that monogamy is somehow not possible for bi-identifying individuals; when in actuality, it is for many.
I think for me as a lesbian, this is the reason! ALSO, I’m masc presenting and whenever I meet a girl who goes on and on about femmes, I get insecure because as you said, if they’re also into something else, something that I can’t satisfy, then what?
Thanks for making this video - most relatable thing I’ve seen in a while, I feel as though this idea of needing to be “locked in” is something I struggle with every day.
I have no problems with bisexuality. Just be upfront in the beginning with whoever you get involved with. I just found my boyfriend cheated with a man. Him not living his authentic self, denied me the right to make informed decisions on living my authentic life ( by investing in the right relationship for me).
This is so true and understanding. I’m a bisexual woman who wants my man to be bisexual but I don’t know how to find that and I can’t imagine how hard it is to be in todays society bc I have it terrible. Women insecure about men, men with fantasies and ulterior motives. How we are judged….
Well, I met so many cases of bisexuals marrying each other. Some end up well and other not so much. Some bisexuals men and bisexuals woman misbehavior can contribute negative stereostypes partially. I noticed some bisexuals women or some bisexuals men being against other bisexuals. I saw one bisexuals men denying their bisexuals gf that they were bisexuals. Bisexuals women being disgusted on busexual men or saying they are not their cause they are feminine they liked masculine men. I noticed some of these come from black comunities or come from conservative white mostly. Barely I see asian, latinos or even some europeans inmigrant having much issue on that. What I want to comprehend as a fellow caribean hispanic why it is that these comunities have such traditional views compared to others. But here we go again that you are of black comunity and you are actually receptive to bi men or maybe bi women. That bring confusion to me deeply as I have not live on USA on other states other than Florida. Can you clarify for me? Edit: Forgot to mention I spoke years ago with a bisexual woman who had a very close relationship with a bisexual man. They were very happy but they separate in an amicably later on and still love each other as friends. It shown me that some bisexuals can have mature and healthy relationships like theirs.
Good on you for opening up. That's brave. Coming into yourself and acceptance is a process and it's nice to see you moving through it. Videos like this are important for others also going through the struggle.
Honestly as a gay guy, it's hard to see bisexuals struggle so much in the gay community, I wish there wasnt a bad stigma that's placed on them, because they're a part of our community more than anything. With that being said, I wish I did date a bisexual guy for a change because those are the ones I usually get along with the most. I do believe that sexuality is fluid, and if the person you find connects with you mentally, emotionally and psychically, you deserve to have that, even if it only lasts for a little bit
Honest question. Why do you think that people with fluid sexualities belong in the same community as exclusively same-sex attracted people? I think this whole 'teaming' of sexualities and now gender identities is one big bad idea..
@@Envision_ honestly, that's a good question, I had to reflect on it for a minute. The way I look at it, it's that they get stigmatized just the same. You tell someone, who possibly has a narrow minded view of the world, most likely label you as a slut instead of looking at you as someone being able to connect with people on a different level, not saying that they all do but I'm using it as an example. Maybe my wording might give you the wrong impression but I dont think they belong in the same category. Do I think they have a place in our community? Yes, because of their capacity to love differently than most and being able to cherish it every step of the way is what we share in common. Do I have to stuff them all in one category? No, because everyone has their own way of connecting with someone. Guaranteed, the labeling in the community has gone to complete horseshit at this point but I'm not going to focus on that because we share a common struggle and many people tend to forget that. There's an understanding in common that we cant help who we develop to love because that's just how we are. Gender identity is a completely different topic on the other hand, has nothing to do with sexual orientation. That's just the way I see it but, from what I said, I'd like to be able to connect with different people from all walks of life whether they're trans man, bisexual or gay because I'd like to keep my mind open in finding that special someone, or even finding a good friend, or companion. I hope this makes sense, I wouldn't look into it too hard, i find humans are a lot more complex than that lol
@@Envision_ I can honestly agree with saying "teaming up" is a bad idea. I think it breeds tribalism, but if we are grouping people up in the classifications straight and not just straight, bi people belong in the not just straight box along with gay and other.
Thank you for sharing your informed perspective. I always (naively) thought bisexual people had the best of both worlds and only in the last couple of years have I read this isn’t necessarily the case. I suspect you’ve given a lot of people something to think about.
Hi Magnapack! Absolutely, most people perceive bi men as having it made but far from the truth and the statistics prove it! I would rather be 100% gay.
@@MattMoore83- Its tough for Bi Men, most straight women and gay men wouldn’t be interested in dating as they see Bi Men even more of a risk for a relationship.
@@elicordero4019 yeah it's because of the patriarchy... we are hypersexualised a d fetished by straight males. They don't care about us, they're always dehumanizing us and we only "get a pass" because it's hot but the minute we genuinely wanna date and marry a girl it's a problem because to society we only exist to please straight men... it's not great for us either
Thanks for pointing this out. That was one of the hardest things to figure out while going through high school. Never being attracted to just one gender and then to have it so completely shut off when you were attracted to someone or not. I have the same thing l am not interested in both seces at the same time which does make you wonder about yourself and l do lean towards one more than the other. Over the years l have learned to accept this situation but it still isn't an easy thing to do when real young. I do remember wishing l was just one or the other and have lost livers when l told them who l really was in that regard. Very difficult growing up Bi.
I am monogamous so it didn't matter when l really cared about someone. They were enough while l was with them, but that being sa8d l do have a low sex drive so l doubt if l had a higher one that this would have worked out.
The only difficulty I see is when homo- or heterosexuals are not interesting in dating guys with fluid sexualies. I am very turned off by it. Reading these comments gives you the impression that many, if not most, bisexuals feel entitled to demand sex and love from peope with non-fluid sexual attractions and play the victim card when they are rejected. Maybe you didn't notice, but growing up is difficult for everyone. Navigating sexual desire is difficult for everyone. Get a grip!
@@briangarnier5714date other bisexuals, straight and gays don't understand those switches and we don't want to deal with them. Imagine waking up and finding out your partner has ab urge to be with people who are not like you. Like, a straight woman would break up if her boyfriend said so. But bisexuals expect different treatment for them and view bi cycles like some tipe of condition and expect their partners to tolerate it in a way " oh honey, are you having a period when you wish to be fucked by other people and you're not attracted to me? 😢Don't worry, we will go through it together"- and ideally want their partners to give them a pass to sleep with others. Bisexuals always cry about stereotypes that " no, we can be monogamous and we don't need 2 partners at the same time!" but then have bi cycles and often non monogomous. So pls, leave us alone if you can't have stable attraction. We don't like that
Showing up late to the comment section. This is the only video I’ve found talking about the struggle of waves of being more attracted to a gender that you aren’t in a relationship with. It hurts so much loving your partner, but going through periods of feeling inauthentic to yourself and needs. It’s not talked about enough.
Imagine how your partner feels, I mean, I wouldn't date a bisexual EXACTLY because you have those bi cycles. I want someone who is into me and doesn't think regularly about getting fucked by other people. And it's kinda annoying that you make it seem that you're the one who suffers from it. You view bi cycles like some tipe of condition and expect your partner to tolerate it in a way " oh honey, are you having a period when you wish to be fucked by other people and you're not attracted to me? 😢Don't worry, we will go through it together"- and ideally want to get a pass to sleep with others. Bisexuals always cry about stereotypes " no, we can be monogamous and we don't need 2 partners at the same time!" but then have bi cycles and often non monogomous. You care only about not being judged for things you actually do.
The bi-cycle? Is that what you’re talking about? Because many bisexual men on social media claiming it doesn’t exist. That it’s a stereotype. You’ll want to be treated like everyone else then turn around whining about going through cycles of feeling attraction to only one gender. Who cares. It’s no different from straight people finding another person attractive while in a relationship. You don’t deserve special treatment and accommodations. Bi people should date each other instead of trying to guilt or shame straight women into dating bi men. We value monogamy and masculinity. The majority of all you’ll try to promote polyamory and diss monogamy. You’re not entitled to sex and a relationship. Especially dealing with you’ll hang ups. Don’t play the victim.
6:21 I've noticed that for bi men it's "you're a gay man thats repressing his true self" while for us bi women it's "you're straight and looking for attention"
I would like to add that I 10000% support bisexuality and that policies and protections should be put in place to help everyone on the LGBTQ+ spectral. That being said, As a gay black man, when I enter a relationship, I am looking for exclusivity, monogamy, stability, mutuel understanding and a lasting relationship. I feel that another gay man uniquely sharing those values would be in a better position to provide that for me. Good luck on your Journey Matt. I know there are others out there that share your ideals and interest and you should not feel the need to restrict yourself to being gay if your heart leans more towards bisexuality, you will met others like you.
Thank you for this. I’m a bisexual woman and it is so hard!!! And the flack we get even from inside the GSM (gender and sexual minority) community itself, let alone from the majority of people, makes it even harder. Thank you for sharing this.
its the gay and lesbian community. funny how you complain about "erasure" yet you're trying to erase gays and lesbians and pretend you're not a barely tolerated guest in their communities? lol fuck off
Excellently stated Matt! You're a great inspiration to others, including me! Gay, Bisexual, Straight is analogous to someone who's right handed, left handed, or ambidextrous. No right or wrong is involved here (and no pun intended). It just is. (in our Creator's wisdom). The bottom line is to do what your heart feels. Don't worry about what others are thinking or judging. That is the big big mistake I did in my past. I posted this in one of your earlier videos, so I don't know if you or your viewers already read this, so I apologize if there's any redundancy. Here it is: When I was 18, I had a crush on a friend, 16. We both had the same circle of Straight friends and our families all knew each other. I knew he wanted it as much as I did, but we were both too scared to act upon it for fear of all the fallout, i.e., vicious gossip, bullying, harassment, vandalism, and worse! This was back in 1966. I'm 74 now. Recently I found out that this friend was in the military in Vietnam in the early 1970s, contracted that Agent Orange, which eventually took his life. I would've, could've, should've, but didn't. That "what if", if I just went with my feelings and not worry about what other people think or judge, the whole outcome could've would've been different, leading to a long lasting loving (Gay) relationship. I regret it to this very day. And thank God I look much younger than I actually am, due to very healthy eating, exercise, mountain biking, hiking, swimming, etc. However, the clock is still ticking. So, there is still a chance. Whether Gay or Bisexual, male or female, Matt the right person will come for you. Yes it's great to be independent, but when that special someone comes along, (male or female) you'll know and enjoy the pleasure of unity, where giving actually gives pleasure like you're actually receiving. It's hard to explain in words, but trust me, it's real. Matt, you're a hot looking guy with beauty on both the outside and the inside. Whoever ends up as your boyfriend (or girlfriend) will be the luckiest person alive in my opinion. I just hope that I find somebody (I do belong to the Gay Outdoor / hiking club and met many friends there, but not a boyfriend yet). I was never into the bar scene and dating apps are very difficult (scammers, game players, and everything in between). I did meet 1 guy on there though but the chemistry was just platonic.
You have had a interesting journey I hope you meet someone special. For me the bisexual side was looking at gay porn ,no romance just sex my wife is okay with my bisexual tendencies,once a week I look at gay porn which satisfies my bisexual urges.
Hi Matt, greetings from the U.K. I identify as gay, but in my early 20’s I had physical relationships with women (I’m now 58). Human sexuality is complex, and it’s not always helpful to give ourselves labels. Sex is not necessarily directly related to love - though it can be linked. An obvious example is family, I love my parents and brother deeply, but the thought of anything sexual there is deeply disturbing. Similarly I had a huge crush at school on the captain of the soccer team, who I hated and feared as a person, but would fantasise about at home in my bedroom - I was about 13 at the time. Humans are complex creatures, so it only follows that our sexuality is equally complex. Earlier human civilisations seemed to understand this much better (thinking of Egyptian, Greek and Roman Empires here) where sexuality was accepted as more fluid.
As a gay person I always found bisexual guys more attractive to be honest and I know it must be hard but I hope it will get better and I mean lately everyone is gay anyway (lol) so it should not be that hard... At the end if you are not in an open relationship, you can be faithful to your partner because you love them and you enjoy being with them that should matter...if living your bi life means you prefer to be with both genders, there are people who are comfortable with open relationships, etc
@@Envision_ 🤣🤣🤣 suuure hahaha this literally cracked me up… only because i don’t prefer faggy behavior, looks, mannerisms lifestyle in a sexual way … i don’t have any internalized homophobia. My friends, etc they can do whatever, same for myself I just don’t find it attractive and also i don’t feel the need of being super gay 24/7
Thanks for your comment. For many bi people like me , if I commit to a person I just want them. Im not gonna have sex with anyone of the same or opposite sex. It’s just that I am attracted to both. Ppl don’t want you to be attracted to both bc they know they can’t compete with the opposite sex .
@drecool85 The issue is your bi friends who have come before who have not been truthful after saying the exact same thing you've just said here. It just causes doubts, and usually, people learn from the mistakes that they made or the mistakes of others. Who wants to take on the risk with their heart? No one who wants stability, that's who. Bi should stick with bi.
It stood me many years of self reflection to come to the realization this year that I was a bisexual man and these feelings are still new to me,but won't change anything in my journey of realization.
thanks for the insight man, im not even sure how i am and i struggle with embracing my bisexuality i act feminine at times too but i try to hide it from the outside world, like the guy in your story i hide behind drugs and alcohol my life feels very stagnant and my mental health is struggling, i want to sing, i want to make videos and i want to go out and live my life but i feel as if i need to learn to be myself before i succeed at anything this has helped and i hope you are keeping well
I feel you. I worked as an exotic dancer in a gay club for around 10 years, and I always heard that I was confused and needed to "pick a side" so I feel you.
I’m a lesbian but have seen how badly bi-men are treated. It seems to me that most gay men are very critical and unaccepting of other men who are bi. Also, bi men are not represented on television very much, this is something that should change.
Are you really feeling bad for this guy, who said he's attractions are super unstable, abd blame gay men for not dating someone can't be in long term relationship because he's bisexulity ? Girl
Beautifully done Matt. I understand the road you travel, your kind and loving soul shines through in spades. Keep healthy, keep happy and know you are endowed with special gifts others do not understand.
I wish I found you years ago. I am a married man and have discovered thru my life that I am bisexual for sure. I tortured myself for years with physical anxiety, and being a less than happy father and husband. Only recently, after therapy (I finally went because my anxiety had become crippling) and listening to people ike yourself, have a I found that I am more like a grain of wheat blowing in the wind; my attractions ebb and flow between genders and that is perfectly OK. I am still learning to accept myself, but I thank God every day for people like you and the others who have commented below. I thought I was the only person in the world with these feelings....so not true.
I'm a gay man who is still not fully out of the closet. I told my friends, even very close friends I'm bisexual. I'm exactly that kind of "bisexual". I think as gay men, we are worried about loyalty. Since the chance of cheating would be double. hahaha But I'm totally okay and even prefer to have a stable relationship with a bisexual man. 'Cause if I know you well, I would trust you, no matter what's your sexuality. Love is just love, right?
@@Envision_ I'm in one. And because her and I give person to have sexual partners of the same sex with permission ONLY, and the flux isn't "always". I can go YEARS before wanting to sleep with a man again. Me and her are mostly monogamous. Many sexually gluid people are in loyal relationships, they only need to discuss their thoughts on it.
Sometimes I am asking myself the question: is there the extreme of being only monosexual at all? Or are we all kind of fluent and multisexual? More or less?
You have to understand that the fact that you had to make a video about this to explain things is the reason why many gay men such as myself tend to run away from bisexual people. It is so confusing and emotionally unstable that we have no choice but to protect ourselves.
@@Envision_you comment on every thing that can bash a bisexual person 😂😂😂 .. it’s so weird. If you don’t like bi ppl just run off into your gay sunset. No need to spread your hate on the majority of bisexual ppl who DONT fit the archetype of the bisexual ppl who purportedly hurt you. You’re doing the same thing straight ppl do to non-straights. SMH
@@Envision_I have never had a problem if someone felt threatened or insecure in regards to dating me as a bisexual person. Straight women or gay men. The only problem I had with gay men or the gay community was people constantly telling me I didn’t exist, I was in denial, I don’t know myself, bi now gay later, that crap was immoral ignorant wasn’t about human rights and dignity it was just ignorant, cruel, disrespectful, and hateful arrogant ignorance. But I can totally understand people being afraid of multiple gender attraction. But in reality people have multi-person attractions, so how is that so different? And when a person is in a committed relationship they are in a committed relationship. People sacrifice future possibilities in a committed relationship.
@@matthewkopp2391 " that crap was immoral ignorant wasn’t about human rights and dignity it was just ignorant, cruel, disrespectful, and hateful arrogant ignorance." Ah, here we go again - the "immoral" and "ignorant" gays "But I can totally understand people being afraid of multiple gender attraction." So, not being interested in a dude who craves p*ssy is being afraid? lol - also - how many 'genders' are there, Matthew? 2.3.4 - infinite?
I honestly can’t agree with the ppl who just want to slowly come out and use bisexuality as a cover. It just makes it harder for actually bisexual ppl and creates prejudices. This is gonna sound harsh but in MY opinion… Don’t claim a label you aren’t! You can “ease” yourself in other ways and work on yourself till you can come out.
I was totally bisexual growing up. tried to be straght. experimented with both. we all had a lot of fun. but as i got older and some of my life circumstances changed i grew into liking guys more than women and i pursued that and now today i have a gay pride flag in my bedroom but i also have the bisexual flag. i want to be in a long term relationship with a man, but i know that it's always possible for me to grow back toward the middle or other end of the spectrum. and it wouldn't be a drastic quick change, i would have to grow into it or heck idk maybe a woman could change my outlook but i know what i want right now, but that could always change. i'm also the type of person to be monogamous so once i commit myself to someone, that's it, but i definitely was totally bi for the first 30 years of my life until i got sober at 30. i stopped hiding who i was in this rural region and started seeking what i wanted instead. but don't get me wrong, i was totally into women before too, i just grew into my gayness and i love it. i really related to this video creator when he said all those different things about how like a bi guy might lean toward one more than the other or may be right in the middle, or fluid, or might be emotionally attracted to one more than the other and romantically or sexually the other. i think people need to stop trying to identify other people or stop expecting them to be totally up front with them about their sexuality and let us do that ourselves, because it really is a discovery process that different people experience at different rates depending on opportunity, environment, biological desire and all kinds of other shit. we may not even know ourselves what we want and that's okay too. i agree that we shouldn't be leading people on in relationships, but just because someone is ready to settle down doesn't mean consenting people who want to have fun with each other shouldn't be able to because other's think they should divulge everything on the first date. if someone has a "need to know" then that's on them to respect their own boundaries to and not let themselves "go to far" and "risk being with a bisexual" who they fear will leave them later for someone else. also, i like what he commentor said about how it boils down to honoring the agreement with your partner. communication is key it's all part of experiencing life. remember, we could not wake up tomorrow. so make it a great day...or not; the choice is yours!
@@mylestotten3575 Can you blame anyone, especially a woman, for not wanting to date someone like you. It would be a waste of our time. At least you're honest with yourself and stopped. So, for that, I say thank you.
@@kimberlywalker3970 👏 😄 "NEXT!" 💅 The audacity to think that other people who have feelings invested in these people have no right to want the correct label. If you're gay then you've always been gay. If you're on a "bi-cycle," (stupid name and idiotic to expect women to be ok with this concept) and there is always a chance whether 1% or 40% in liking a woman, your still bisexual. Gay and straight people are not fluid. Everything in between is. But as long as you're leaving some poor woman alone, call yourself whatever you like.
@@mylestotten3575 It’s not women responsibility to be supportive and understanding to confused men. How about you figure your shit out before you drag an innocent woman into your mess. It’s complete bullshit that a man sometimes doesn’t know his sexuality himself. Nothing anyone say will ever convince me otherwise. What type of man has such a lack of awareness that he doesn’t know who’s he’s willing or want to fuck?! Not the kind of man straight women want for sure. We like men that are confident, secure within themselves, no mental health issues, know themselves and want they want. Bi men aren’t owed special treatment. You can identify as whatever you want. The problem occurs when a man that engages in sexual activities with other men wants to lie to women about it. They don’t want the stigma that comes with being bisexual nor lose access to sex with women. Not disclosing sexual orientation on the first date is wasting precious time for both sides. The majority of straight women wouldn’t date a bi man. It would be a dealbreaker. Bi men know this yet they still enter into relationships with women. It’s straight up deception! Waiting until the woman is emotionally invested in the relationship is an emotional manipulation tactic. It brings up the question what else is he hiding or willing to lie about? It’s a gigantic red flag showing he’s not trustworthy. Lying doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It bleeds over into other aspects of his character. You don’t get to decide what is “need to know” or “unnecessary” for a woman. What else do you deem “unnecessary”? Incurable STI, wife, kids, no job, jail time, etc? She’s not some toy for you to “have fun with” as you flounder around lost in the dark. Women are not objects for men to play with until they’re bored or find themselves. No man secure in his masculinity would lie about their sexuality. You can’t have any self-respect, pride or any sense of self-worth if you want to be with a woman that find a big part of you disgusting.
I am 100% gay and I usually find Bi men really attractive. I think is more about finding the right partner where you connect physically, spiritually and emotionally. It is really hard to find a good partner... there are plenty of good people, the challenge is finding the right fit for you. Good luck and stay strong everyone!
It's really a shame that people care so much what others are into... I'm not bi, but I give credit to what people tell me about themselves. Most people are quite honest with me anyway, even about their cheating 😅I guess everyone's just a little complicated, but the need for society to define everything and the notion that everyone should just be in monogamous relationships isn't doing many people any favors... But I would imagine being bi also has positives, like even though you're not attracted to only one of the genders you can probably relate to both the gay and straight experience. Being gay I feel completely alienated from straight guys and the whole dynamic of straight relationships. I find it really hard to understand the hows and whys but I guess gay relationships aren't too different in some ways. Well, relationships are just weird!
Gay man here. I've always respected bisexuality. Not all gay folks are dismissive. I hope you find someone who loves, supports and respects you - they're out there, tho often take a while to find. Oh, and of course the pain and trauma of being gay/bisexuality can lead to mental health issues and misuse of substances. Studies have shown this to be the case. That's one of many reasons I fear for younger lgbt people growing up in today's hateful political atmosphere.
Yeah, I hope he finds true happiness with a special person. However, I don't think it is healthy to indirectly shame straight and gay people for his loneliness
From my own perspective it's the very same experience with people. The bisexual stigma, people are generally afraid and insecure about the concept when it come to be in a relationship with a Bi male. They don't realize that sexual orientation is not necessarily associated with values or morals in terms of commitment. It's not because i'm bisexual that i will cheat on you with a man or woman to feel the other side. I'm with you or not that's it depending on the nature of the relationship we have. And yes it does have a tool on mental health because you don't feel like you are accepted in either side that's tough and unpleasing. As long as we got each other that's it... I will subscribe definetly :)😊
Ey Matt! I passed by just to let you know how important is what you're doing. To be honest the way you see it, beyond doubt the most accurate like I live it since I turned 18. Thanks matt for making me see that i am not alone in this.
Why do my earphones not work properly during this video? They work just fine listening to other videos, but on this video, one of the earphones makes a hissing muffled sound??
That’s a good point. If you can understand because you live it, then dating another person like you should resonate. Def won’t always be easy but should resonate. Im gonna try that.
Life is complicated and I was thrown into a similar circumstance against my will because of un-diagnosed mental illness. I have learned to be accepting of anyone because your life can be turned upside down in an instant and I'm living proof of that!
Well hello. I'ma 61 year old man. I have considered myself bi-sexual damn near my whole life. I have a few that know all of me and most that don't. I am "happy" with who I am. I have empathy with people that are having difficulty with unaccepting morons! How each person lives is the one true thing that you can do. This philosophy does not preclude that opposite opinions should not get along. Live your best life
It's not how they live. It's the people who might live with them who could get hurt. That's the worry. Empathy is a real thing, and I always feel more for the partners because the bi one just goes onto the next one. The one left is standing wondering why their lufe has been destroyed by a decision that they haven't made. Most people need stability. Most women especially and it's a worry that we cojld get used as sheilds against stigma or for an incubator. Women don't trust what men say anymore, and that's not fair on the good straight men out there.
Let me check something. Are you saying people are morons because they’re unwilling to date bi people? In this case bi men? That quite an entitled and ignorant mentality to have. For one morality is very subjective. Especially when it comes to dating. Bi men are not owed sex or a relationship. Dating is inherently discriminatory. Excluding people is basic aspect to it. With your logic people not wanting to date a short man, goofy man, or a man that is jobless are morons. You or no one else gets to decide who another refuse to date on such a deeply intimate matter. It’s quite simple: bi people don’t want to be judged for being attracted to multiple genders then they shouldn’t be hypocritical by judging straight people that don’t want to date bi people.
Any bi person (particularly bi dudes) can resonate with pretty much everything said in this video. The only thing that wouldn't really apply to me is the sexual need from both sexes. I'm attracted to both sexes but I could very easily go with just sleeping with one or the other for the rest of my life and that's defintiely apart of the negative stigma
This. There are bi people who feel like they want to have sex with both sexes, but similarly there are straight and gay people who feel like they want to have sex with more than one person. That's not inherent nor unique to bisexuality.
You say that bisexuality is hard and it sucks - but I'm still wondering why YOU think that. Do you find it difficult to be bisexual? Or are you "venting" about the perceptions of bisexuality? You also strike a very interesting aspect of sexuality: relationships. Are your expectations of relationships too rigid or unrealistic? Most humans want consistency and monogamy in a relationship - this isn't a bad thing. But you can't expect people to throw that out when they meet you. With that being said; "most" isn't the same as "all". Your sexuality has shrunk the dating pool; BUT there are people out there not looking for a traditional long-term relationship - you just need to find them. One last thing - after listening to this video; I think you can understand what I go through as a gay person of colour. I can't change my race or skin colour. Therefore, I fall victim to prejudicial thoughts/perspectives that only exclude me from living a full gay life. So, my dating pool has shrunk. People like us need to learn and understand patience. This has become apart of my own personal mental health journey.
As I was thinking of replying to his video with my own comments, your comment actually perfectly states it, bravo!!! I would like to add that I 10000% support bisexuality and that policies and protections should be put in place to help everyone on the LGBTQ+ spectral. That being said, As a gay black man, when I enter a relationship, I am looking for monogamy, stability, mutuel understanding and a lasting relationship . I feel that another gay man uniquely sharing those values would be in a better position to provide that to me. Good luck on your Journey Matt.
I suppose sexual fluidity is a problem for some gay people, because we tend to clinge too much to our preciously accepted identities. Moreover it feeds many people"s internalised homophobia that homosexuality is changeable, thus unnatural condition. We dont really like thinking in flexible terms, hence we prefer to stay inside the box.
My favorite thing about Mondays: WE GET “MOORE” videos from MATT! I don’t think I was ever bisexual bc I went from totally straight and women only to a curiosity phase while single & then only men. I never went back and forth. Felt like I would hurt someone’s feelings so I tried to stay true to them & myself. I still get turned on by a beautiful female but I never pursue it bc I know what I really want 🤷🏽♂️ My best bud was definitely bisexual though & I totally understand that phase from seeing him go through all that.
"I went from totally straight and women only to a curiosity phase while single & then only men. " That right there is the definition of bisexuality. It is in the words 'bi' = both and 'sex' = the sex of a person and the act of having sex. You need to stop appropiating gayness and reflect your own biphobia
There is a term for those, who aren't always attracted to all genders at all times, but essencially their sexuality changes often, they're into this one day, into that the other. It's called abrosexuality. I hear a lot of people talking about this experience, but only a few know this term.
I agree, it's hard. Thanks for this video and your honesty. I am bi yet in a long-term loving relatiosnship with a man. This does NOT make me straight (as some people assume). It has meant I have to sacrifice "the other side to me" and I have had to do some grieving about that. Like you said, it's painful and probably always will be...
i hate being bisexual, i prefer men, im not dominant, i don’t know if i’d ever even date a girl, but i know that i am attracted to girls and i feel like that makes the gay part of me not valid
Don't let the toxic biphobic people in the gay community bully you, and definitely don't try to be someone you're not. Being gay is not better, and being straight is not better either. As a bisexual man, I have more options because men tend to do most of the work to sleep with me but women expect me to lead every single interaction. But the great thing is that those same confident gay men have taught me exactly how to get a woman from the bar or club to her apartment to get laid because the same gameplan applies. Also, every time I have sex with a gay man, they never fail to compliment me a lot which boosts my self esteem and really strokes my ego to the point that I feel a lot better about myself and so confident that I do better with women. I used to never look at women in the eyes and never reciprocate a smile, but all that changed recently and I am slowly moving towards making conversation, which will move me step by step towards regular sex. All thanks to gay men.
So I have questions about being physically attracted to one gender and being emotionally connected to another gender. I get along with my mother probably better than my dad and I do feel a better emotional connection to women than men, but it never translates over to a relationship or sexual. I view it as a friendship in my mind so I’m wondering if bisexual people feel the same way as meor if it’s a different kind of romantic emotional connection.
Great video Matt. I personally feel that peoples inability to accept the idea of bisexuality, in general, is simply due to homophobia. For a straight person, it's simply the belief that if a man has sex with another man it means you're gay, period. Because in their closed little minds, it is just too complex of an idea for them to process. As for the gays, I think it is a matter of inner homophobia and insecurity. Personally, I have had two relationships with men who eventually married women and had a family. My very first relationship with another man, was exciting as well as painfully disappointing. He never expressed any desire for women when we were together, and he was very active sexually with men. While I was looking for love and companionship, as well as sex, he seemed only to crave the sexual aspects. In the second relationship, he did express interest in women, and as with the other, he was more interested in our sexual activities than the relationship aspects. Because of my own inner homophobia, I felt bad and very less-than about myself. I felt as though they were better than me because they could choose to live a "normal" life that I wished to, but could not. I have battled that inner homophobia my entire life, and although I have come a long way, I doubt that I will ever be completely free from it. I do believe that men can be truly bisexual, although I will never completely understand it. There are just some things in life that people can not truly understand without actually experiencing it. But, that does not mean that we can't accept things we don't fully understand. My humble opinion is, once you find that special someone that meets your physical and emotional needs, your bisexuality will have less of an influence on your life.🥰
@@Envision_ right! I’m not biphobic at all, it’s just that I’ve seen this happen too many times to pretend as if there’s not a possibility. Like I’m not trying to walk into the lion’s den knowing damn well that from past experiences people get eaten.
@@sleepingrogue4130 besides that, I'm personally turned off by the idea of being with a guy who simultaneously desires women, or goes through phases of attraction, where he could be almost exclusively attracted to women. I'm really not interested in going through any of that. I date exclusively gay men
Stop projecting your insecurities on straight women. We don’t owe bi men sex or a relationship. You can throw the homophobia word around all you want but you can't coerce people into dating you. Phobia used to mean you hate/feared a group but now it's turned into "if you don't agree with my stances and don't want to date/sleep with me you're a () phobic". It's becoming ridiculous. You’ll are co-opting bigot/biphobia and trying to conflate it with a person deeply intimate dating/fucking choices in their private life. Not wanting to have sex or a relationship with them is a sexual preference, not a theft of their rights as a human.
As a heterosexual male on the outside looking in and trying to get a better understanding on how complex human sexuality can be... how does bisexuality really "work"?? (for lack of a better way of asking a question like that) Are you (and / or other Bi's) attracted to one gender for a while and it kind of reverses at different times.... or are you (and / or other B's) equally attracted to both genders at all times?? Thanks in advance.
I think the problem with using the term bisexual as a way to figure out your sexuality as gay or straight is harmful to bisexuals. It feeds the stereotype of "oh you are just gay/straight" If we had the the term "questioning" as a normal response then I wouldn't of had to struggle until I was 30 until I accepted I was bisexual.
That makes no sense. If you’re questioning or unsure of your sexuality then by default you can’t be straight. I still find it unbelievable that people actually struggle with their sexuality. Either you find someone fuckable or not. It’s that simple. What people struggle with is the stigma and shame that comes with not being straight. They can’t handle being part of a minority group and being seen as undesirable. Therefore it’s not their sexuality they’re struggling with. It’s acceptance of themselves.
Matt, generally, like all RUclipsrs discussing related topic, you are relating to youth and people who are not mature seasoned experienced persons. Youth is necessarily half (partial) people trying to become whole. The problems are not necessarily sexual orientation but simply the process of maturing and self development in general that happens to be affected by sexual life and orientation issues. If life were perfect other that sexual, there might be far less problematic concerns.
I am a middle-aged gay male...a gold star gay, a 10 on a gayness scale of 1 to 6, etc...and, I just want to say that I, for one, understand and hear you. Like you, I also do not understand how others cant understand the reality of the spectrum and fluidity of sexual attraction, romantic attraction...and, of course, gender. It should be obvious by now that the earth isn't flat and that human sexual attraction, romantic attraction and, of course, gender are often not experienced in a binary way. And, as far as relationships, I think our community focuses on way too much on our differences than what brings us together, than on love. We create all these categories to identify ourselves with almost exclusively and all of that decreases our chances of finding someone to fall in love with. We should think more about reasons to say yes to someone than no. Perfection doesn't exist. I have never had a significant relationship and, at this point in my life, I am lonely and, before I die, I just want to have the experience of being in love with a man who is in love with me - even if it's only for a short time. If I am in love with a guy, I am willing to work hard to focus on the love that brings us together rather than the differences (top v bottom v side, gay or bi, etc) that could separate us. LGBT people are likely only 10% of the population, so the odds of us finding love are already stacked against us. We need to be willing to take more chances on one another. (Sorry, I'll getoff my soap box now :-))
I don’t want to put any labels on you, but would you say that your experience is more like what an abrosexual person might experience since your sexual orientation is fluid? Of course abrosexuality also falls under the bisexual/multi gender attraction umbrella, so I’m really not saying that you are not bi (because also, as you said in the video, everyone might have a different definition of what that means and it’s fine) but I was wondering if your experience is maybe more specific than what most bisexual people experience? And maybe it’s because of this that you feel that way about relationships. But anyway that’s only a detail. I also wanted to say that I really liked your video and that you brought up some really interesting points in it, so well done! Have a nice day/evening!
Problems in attending greater concentration in courses and other more new attentive studies in consideration moral opinion in the other stigma in allowing proper simulation of motor sense and at the same time over thinking and free analysis of judgement ❤❤❤
Quite honestly id be happy if a partner decided to not be with me because im bi.. but yeah it can get lonely afterawhile.. but saying straight or gay relationships are better is a lie in my experience. Like alot of those people are really repressed and not truly happy and they wont say because things arent "bad".. i hope that loveless marriage stereotype is dying out but its quite natural to find a partner and not be happy.. when did it become this thing where we find a partner and things are instantly perfect?
Hello I am fluid and I feel I understand your request. I have a hypothesis. I feel people's fear is maybe about their feeling we need more than them, like it is mixed with a non monogamy fear. Like we are too much opened and they are not able to put our relation is a clear box. What do you think?
Your issue is not being being Bi, if out your your "fluidity" as you call it. That's another speak for you don't want to commit to anyone. That's the real issue here regardless of their gender. Which is fine. Not everyone wants to be or needs to be in committed relationship. It's not for everyone.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience--very helpful to hear! I wonder how your experience fits in with monogamy or polyamory. That is, once you're close to someone, are you still meeting other people to get your needs met by the other sex? I've known couples where that has worked and where it hasn't even if the partner is accepting the other one as bi. What is your experience with that?
Bisexual is a legit term if you love both. But I kinda have a reaction to it because, in my situation, or rather, in my country, it's often used as a term for, "I actually like guys, but I might want try getting sexual other gender so I can be healed," or "Scoring with the different gender itself is a bi". In the reality, these "bisexual" guys often cheat with the same gender for sexual pleasure, and their wives are often left and unknowingly cheated. If they cheat with the other "gender", now that's I would believe as "bi". Sadly, it's mostly not the case. I once dated a bisexual, and I didn't mind because who knows I could befriend his girlfriend too. In the end, he left because he said he wanted to marry the girl. Years later, the other guy I dated also said he has married a woman, although out of pity, but he claims himself as a bisexual, but he still wants to date with me. I had enough of it.
I'm not sure if I can be considered bisexual or not anymore. When I was young, I dated more women at first. I had only a couple of interactions with other men at first. As I got older, I ended up dating more men. I seem to have better, happier relationships with them rather than with women. I think I have shifted up the Kinsey Scale. It didn't happen overnight. That was over a span of 30+ years.
Being bisexual is definitely much much better than being gay. At least bisexuals guys have the typical straight privilege of marrying a girl and having a children whereas gays are only looked upon as someone only for sex and bodily needs!
i jus don't tell people about it anymore, especially women. I was on Facebook the other day, n seen a thread where women were like "at this point we'd rather have y'all be upfront about it, because we want to steer clear of the ones diddling other dudes". Cuz OP was straight up bout how they be rollin with the same team sometimes. I came out as bi to two friends of mine a few years ago, and it completely ruined my dating life. I'm just seen as fruity now even though I don't have any of the characteristics, and I've had woman I used to fuck with see me as the gay ex. It genuinely makes me regret choosing to come out in the first place
So you’re tricking women into relationships by lying all because your dating/fucking options are reduced. You can’t really value a genuine connection and healthy relationship when it’s built on a foundation of lies. Whatever relationship you have is doomed from the start. Someone that lies easily over a big thing such as sexuality is deceitful by nature. What else you’re lying about or willingly to lie about? HIV? Unemployment? Criminal? Mental illness? This is a very problematic mindset bi men have. You’re taking away a woman agency to give consent. No different than stealthing. Any man that wants to be with a woman that find a big aspect of him disgusting can’t be worth dating. He definitely suffer from low self-esteem and no self-respect to accept that.
I'm not that knowledgeable regarding bisexual people and I didn't realize that there was a stigma surrounding it but out of curiosity, I would think that a throuple would work out more so for bisexual individuals who are emotionally attracted to one gender and physical attracted to another 🤔 Again, I'm not making a statement simple wondering 🤔
As a bi guy i compartmentalize sex differently than intimate experiences. Sex is an expression of my deep care for a person who i know that i can be vulnerable with and trust. Im after whats in the ❤ not what parts they have.
I came out later in life. I Definitely have it sorted now and I am gay. I was married to a pretty nice bloke and it wasn’t any nightmare living as straight but I am definitely gay and have zero interest in any guys and do not consider that I was every bi just undercover gay. All good as I have two fabulous grown son and I wouldn’t change that ever. Just my path I guess.
After being with my bi ex for 3 years, I feel for so much of your pain. It’s something you can’t help nor can you stop. I had to let her go when she told me she now thought she was gay and no longer wanted a life with me. It’s heartbreaking, but I know I couldn’t fight it.
Thank you for saying this out loud .. being bi isnt part of LGBTI beacuse we have a portion of us being straight .. we are own tribe .. the greatest discrimination ive recieved was from gays who just dont understand a bi Reality of existence ..
Every guy that I slept with was gay and supportive of my bisexuality. So I don't think that's quite true. Straight women can have a lot of prejudice but if you wait until you sleep with them a bunch of times to tell them you're bi, they will be far more likely to accept you because of the emotional bond. Kind of manipulative but it is the only way for a bi man to have sex with straight women most of the time and they are much more common than bi women so it's not even a choice.
@@lazo3251 Believe me, there are straight women in the world who will still break up with you even after sex-not because you’re bisexual, but because you’re deceptive and manipulative and not the type of man they want to build a future with. Even after marriage-more and more women are being raised not to take men’s lies and dishonorable behaviors anymore. If you want to sleep with both genders, be accountable for it and accept that some women just wouldn’t be interested. Be honest upfront.
@@lazo3251 It’s not kind of manipulation! It’s exactly emotional manipulation. You’re a disgusting piece of garbage for being with any woman without letting her know you engage in sexual relations with other men. Bringing a woman into a type of situation she never agreed on or signed up for. You bi men feel as if you’re entitled to straight women bodies. Only a despicable person build a relationship on foundation of lies and deception. If you lie about this what else you’re lying about or be willing to lie about. You’re not worthy of trust. Stop being a coward and man up. Bi men that lie about their sexual orientation are cowardly wimps and revolting scum. They have no morals or scruples. You be the ones giving women STI’s or HIV. Risking their health and can cause them to have infertility because of an untreated STI. I hope a woman out you to your family, friends neighbors and colleagues. Hit you were it hurts the most since low life punks like you are little bitches that care too much about what people think of you. Bisexuals hiding their sexual duality from straight women deserve whatever hell that come to their way when outed!!
I have such a weakness for a bisexual man I know. Love being with him, but as a gay man, it hurts because we can never truly have a committed relationship. I definitely treasure our friendship, though.
From what I've observed in a lot of videos and social media posts is that most people are cool with women being bisexual due to a fantasty projected upon men growing up . When it comes to men, in straight guys/girls mind, they are labeled instantly as a homosexual. Another observation is that a lot of women wont date a bisexual dude because of societal stigmas (STDs / being less masculine ) and religious beliefs. From personal experience with dating, after I've told a woman I'm bi I get ghosted instantly. Because of this, I instantly put it on my dating profiles. I haven't gotten much matching since then. However, I'm currently dating a guy with great prospect. So I may be off the market soon :)
Do you ever wish that you could eat more women or that you missed out on dating women because you’re bi
Because most men women encounter want to sleep with them, including those " guy friends" who are just wanting for opportunity. Now remember that gay men have Grindr and, on average, sleep with 68 people ( straight men around 10). Bisexual guy has opportunities and "urges" to sleep with men ( bisexuals call them bi cycles). Why would a straight woman choose someone who's more like to: be non monogomous (57% bisexuals claim that monogamous relationship are sacrifice for them); like butt play and be vers/submissive; have more opportunities to cheat and hide those cheatings, since it's easier and quicker to sleep with men?
Women want stability and feel they're enough, dating a bi guy is the opposite of what we want. As I said , even bi girls don't like bi men because they also know that
"men's promiscuity+bisexuality" is unfortunate mixture
Did it worked with this guy? I hope things are better for you
@@skittydrew unfortunately nope. He broke up with me in April to go back with his ex. He wasn’t fully over him when he started dating me. Oh well his loss ✌🏾. He had some yellow flags that were gonna be problems in the future anyway. There is someone out there for me. Just gotta get through the weeds.
@thatsmysherman sorry to hear that. All the best to you.
In my experience as a bi guy & with conversation with other bi people, we do experience cycle of attraction to different genders, but when you are secure in your sexuality and find a lovely partner, the sex of the person doesn’t matter. It’s the personality, heart, and mind of the person that matter more. I say secure in their bisexuality because there are people who have a bi awakening or discovery process while in a relationship or marriage. These people haven’t fully understand their bisexuality because it a complicated sexuality because of the fluidity, societal pressure to be straight, & internal homophobia that prevent us from loving a person because they are the same gender.
But what reference porn/semi movie you watch? Gay porn or straight born or??
I don’t like pressures and expectations on my sexuality. And certain people I’m attracted to sometimes will put a stamp on my sexuality without asking even.
How many 'genders' are there?
Damn It! That hit like a truck!
@lucthin6245 so you go with women because you have to? I don't get what you are trying to say here? If you're an out bisexual then surely the hardest part is done. If you're not and with a woman, then aren't bisexuals supposed to like women anyway? Are you stringing women along? Confused.
BI Male here. It is a difficult life. I haven't been in a relationship in 18 years, and it's because I don't feel 100% fulfilled with a Male partner, or with a Female partner. So I avoid relationships, because I don't want to put another person through that.
In a sense. I have some similar reservations at times, I definitely do think that my potential partners may suffer from my fluidity as did some of my exes. My thought however is - what if bi date bi and may be let each over live a little more freely? What if in that scenario the relationship is actually stable and fun? I mean I don`t know for sure as I have only dated lesbians and straight men and I admit it was just plain scary to talk openly about my needs to them, but I intend to try to find my bi-person.
Same here bro
The way you described my life in a single comment 😢 i haven’t dated many women, mostly men. I started dating and having sex in my 30s .
Same. I'm not totally open, and when discussing it, I'm totally misunderstood.
Definitely difficult being a bisexual male in the world. We are misunderstood & put in a box. Story of my life. 🙃
fax
💟💜💙
Maybe some people are just not attracted to people with fluid sexualities
@@mir-jan3496attraction isn't all about sex.
@@mir-jan3496 not at all, and even more now, we don't have to even to have kids.
Came out @ 26. After getting married and having kids. Didn’t really piece the puzzle together before I got my life started. It’s extremely difficult and I’m fortunate to have a partner who is patient and understanding. Thank you for making this 🦋✨
What does it mean to you to come out as bisexual after getting married?
@ it’s really a journey within itself. Marriage is already a journey two people share, being bi is a journey on its own so trying to navigate the two simultaneously is rough. But if you take good care of yourself and your partner the fruits are sweet.
Bi men and bi women should date each other.
They are too rare. I'm a bisexual man and every guy that I slept with is gay. Every girl that I like is straight.
Problem with that is most bi women are hypocritical they'll date the same sex but the minute a man does the same they get all wigged out about it 🙄 met too many women like that
Can you be BI without wanting to have Sex with a Dude but i still Miss them Emotionally? It Sounds gay but i cant Change it
@@lazo3251 it has to do with genetic constitution. Life Fluids. Science has Not caught Up. And in the Future youll be Able to heal the Hormone inblance.its Not Right to Like a man
@@Ericstroman100 I have yet to see a valid source proving your poor argument
This is the best explanation of the topic I've ever seen. Just open, honest, humble, nuanced and empathetic. That's so helpful for people's understanding. So much better than most of what you find on YT that's either total hating or hyper-defensive. As someone closer to the first category, the hyper-defensive mode does not help shift me.😆
I think one of the main issues is people are super insecure about them selves and begin to think of the ideas, "if my partners bi, am i ever gonna be able satisfy their needs when im only half of what theyre into. will they leave me for the opposite when were together, are they thinking of the opposite gender when were having sex ..... etc."
I can understand that fear some people might have. Unfortunately, it's based on the presumption that monogamy is somehow not possible for bi-identifying individuals; when in actuality, it is for many.
I think for me as a lesbian, this is the reason! ALSO, I’m masc presenting and whenever I meet a girl who goes on and on about femmes, I get insecure because as you said, if they’re also into something else, something that I can’t satisfy, then what?
@@sleepingrogue4130I’ve seen people who prefer femmes date masc before. Personally, I love masc women.
That's a very legit question
I mean, the guy in the video literally says he has severe bi cycles sometimes. So of course many monosexuals would find it unpleasant
Thanks for making this video - most relatable thing I’ve seen in a while, I feel as though this idea of needing to be “locked in” is something I struggle with every day.
I have no problems with bisexuality. Just be upfront in the beginning with whoever you get involved with. I just found my boyfriend cheated with a man. Him not living his authentic self, denied me the right to make informed decisions on living my authentic life ( by investing in the right relationship for me).
I'm so sorry, he's such an ashole fir hurting you in this way
That sucks, but has nothing inherently to do with bisexuality. Gay and straight people cheat too.
this resonates with me so well. i’m thankful you articulated this spot on.
This is so true and understanding. I’m a bisexual woman who wants my man to be bisexual but I don’t know how to find that and I can’t imagine how hard it is to be in todays society bc I have it terrible. Women insecure about men, men with fantasies and ulterior motives. How we are judged….
Well, I met so many cases of bisexuals marrying each other. Some end up well and other not so much. Some bisexuals men and bisexuals woman misbehavior can contribute negative stereostypes partially. I noticed some bisexuals women or some bisexuals men being against other bisexuals. I saw one bisexuals men denying their bisexuals gf that they were bisexuals. Bisexuals women being disgusted on busexual men or saying they are not their cause they are feminine they liked masculine men. I noticed some of these come from black comunities or come from conservative white mostly. Barely I see asian, latinos or even some europeans inmigrant having much issue on that. What I want to comprehend as a fellow caribean hispanic why it is that these comunities have such traditional views compared to others. But here we go again that you are of black comunity and you are actually receptive to bi men or maybe bi women. That bring confusion to me deeply as I have not live on USA on other states other than Florida. Can you clarify for me?
Edit: Forgot to mention I spoke years ago with a bisexual woman who had a very close relationship with a bisexual man. They were very happy but they separate in an amicably later on and still love each other as friends. It shown me that some bisexuals can have mature and healthy relationships like theirs.
My wife and I are both bi. And we have a lot of fun! No jealousy, we play with girls we play with guys! It’s awesome!
Good on you for opening up. That's brave. Coming into yourself and acceptance is a process and it's nice to see you moving through it. Videos like this are important for others also going through the struggle.
This video is amazing, I watch your videos to get more knowledge about sexuality, especially BI and to practice my English at the same time.
Honestly as a gay guy, it's hard to see bisexuals struggle so much in the gay community, I wish there wasnt a bad stigma that's placed on them, because they're a part of our community more than anything. With that being said, I wish I did date a bisexual guy for a change because those are the ones I usually get along with the most. I do believe that sexuality is fluid, and if the person you find connects with you mentally, emotionally and psychically, you deserve to have that, even if it only lasts for a little bit
Honest question. Why do you think that people with fluid sexualities belong in the same community as exclusively same-sex attracted people? I think this whole 'teaming' of sexualities and now gender identities is one big bad idea..
@@Envision_ honestly, that's a good question, I had to reflect on it for a minute. The way I look at it, it's that they get stigmatized just the same. You tell someone, who possibly has a narrow minded view of the world, most likely label you as a slut instead of looking at you as someone being able to connect with people on a different level, not saying that they all do but I'm using it as an example. Maybe my wording might give you the wrong impression but I dont think they belong in the same category. Do I think they have a place in our community? Yes, because of their capacity to love differently than most and being able to cherish it every step of the way is what we share in common. Do I have to stuff them all in one category? No, because everyone has their own way of connecting with someone. Guaranteed, the labeling in the community has gone to complete horseshit at this point but I'm not going to focus on that because we share a common struggle and many people tend to forget that. There's an understanding in common that we cant help who we develop to love because that's just how we are. Gender identity is a completely different topic on the other hand, has nothing to do with sexual orientation. That's just the way I see it but, from what I said, I'd like to be able to connect with different people from all walks of life whether they're trans man, bisexual or gay because I'd like to keep my mind open in finding that special someone, or even finding a good friend, or companion. I hope this makes sense, I wouldn't look into it too hard, i find humans are a lot more complex than that lol
I appreciate it
@@Envision_ I can honestly agree with saying "teaming up" is a bad idea. I think it breeds tribalism, but if we are grouping people up in the classifications straight and not just straight, bi people belong in the not just straight box along with gay and other.
@@Envision_ Some bisexual guys or gals may in the end decide they prefer one sex or the other. The right same sex person may help them decide.
Thank you for sharing your informed perspective. I always (naively) thought bisexual people had the best of both worlds and only in the last couple of years have I read this isn’t necessarily the case. I suspect you’ve given a lot of people something to think about.
Hi Magnapack! Absolutely, most people perceive bi men as having it made but far from the truth and the statistics prove it! I would rather be 100% gay.
@@MattMoore83 bisexuals. too homosexual for the straights and too homophobic for the gays.
We tend to have the worst of worlds, especially us Women Bisexuals.
@@kawaiilotus women bisexuals are the most obnoxious, privileged and narcissistic. are you kidding me?
@@MattMoore83- Its tough for Bi Men, most straight women and gay men wouldn’t be interested in dating as they see Bi Men even more of a risk for a relationship.
Being bisexual is hard because it's somewhat a double standard.
How???
@@austinflores8552 think about it I mean women gets a pass us men on the other hand doesn't.
@@elicordero4019 so its more of an issue about sex rather than orientation, also I'm a woman I just came up with a random user name
@@austinflores8552 ...ok
@@elicordero4019 yeah it's because of the patriarchy... we are hypersexualised a d fetished by straight males. They don't care about us, they're always dehumanizing us and we only "get a pass" because it's hot but the minute we genuinely wanna date and marry a girl it's a problem because to society we only exist to please straight men... it's not great for us either
Thanks for pointing this out. That was one of the hardest things to figure out while going through high school. Never being attracted to just one gender and then to have it so completely shut off when you were attracted to someone or not. I have the same thing l am not interested in both seces at the same time which does make you wonder about yourself and l do lean towards one more than the other. Over the years l have learned to accept this situation but it still isn't an easy thing to do when real young. I do remember wishing l was just one or the other and have lost livers when l told them who l really was in that regard. Very difficult growing up Bi.
I am monogamous so it didn't matter when l really cared about someone. They were enough while l was with them, but that being sa8d l do have a low sex drive so l doubt if l had a higher one that this would have worked out.
The only difficulty I see is when homo- or heterosexuals are not interesting in dating guys with fluid sexualies. I am very turned off by it. Reading these comments gives you the impression that many, if not most, bisexuals feel entitled to demand sex and love from peope with non-fluid sexual attractions and play the victim card when they are rejected. Maybe you didn't notice, but growing up is difficult for everyone. Navigating sexual desire is difficult for everyone. Get a grip!
@@briangarnier5714date other bisexuals, straight and gays don't understand those switches and we don't want to deal with them. Imagine waking up and finding out your partner has ab urge to be with people who are not like you. Like, a straight woman would break up if her boyfriend said so. But bisexuals expect different treatment for them and view bi cycles like some tipe of condition and expect their partners to tolerate it in a way " oh honey, are you having a period when you wish to be fucked by other people and you're not attracted to me? 😢Don't worry, we will go through it together"- and ideally want their partners to give them a pass to sleep with others. Bisexuals always cry about stereotypes that " no, we can be monogamous and we don't need 2 partners at the same time!" but then have bi cycles and often non monogomous.
So pls, leave us alone if you can't have stable attraction. We don't like that
Showing up late to the comment section. This is the only video I’ve found talking about the struggle of waves of being more attracted to a gender that you aren’t in a relationship with. It hurts so much loving your partner, but going through periods of feeling inauthentic to yourself and needs. It’s not talked about enough.
Get over yourself. If you’re not married to them, it’s just their turn.
@@boogitybear2283 incel 🙄🥱
Honestly, and then you wonder why homosexuals and straights don't want to date you? You guys are so incredibly entitled
Imagine how your partner feels, I mean, I wouldn't date a bisexual EXACTLY because you have those bi cycles. I want someone who is into me and doesn't think regularly about getting fucked by other people.
And it's kinda annoying that you make it seem that you're the one who suffers from it. You view bi cycles like some tipe of condition and expect your partner to tolerate it in a way " oh honey, are you having a period when you wish to be fucked by other people and you're not attracted to me? 😢Don't worry, we will go through it together"- and ideally want to get a pass to sleep with others.
Bisexuals always cry about stereotypes " no, we can be monogamous and we don't need 2 partners at the same time!" but then have bi cycles and often non monogomous. You care only about not being judged for things you actually do.
The bi-cycle? Is that what you’re talking about? Because many bisexual men on social media claiming it doesn’t exist. That it’s a stereotype.
You’ll want to be treated like everyone else then turn around whining about going through cycles of feeling attraction to only one gender.
Who cares. It’s no different from straight people finding another person attractive while in a relationship. You don’t deserve special treatment and accommodations.
Bi people should date each other instead of trying to guilt or shame straight women into dating bi men. We value monogamy and masculinity.
The majority of all you’ll try to promote polyamory and diss monogamy.
You’re not entitled to sex and a relationship. Especially dealing with you’ll hang ups. Don’t play the victim.
6:21 I've noticed that for bi men it's "you're a gay man thats repressing his true self" while for us bi women it's "you're straight and looking for attention"
yes yes yes!
Matt, what a great video and thanks for covering the topic. The struggles are real and you have helped others see just that. Keep strong handsome!
I would like to add that I 10000% support bisexuality and that policies and protections should be put in place to help everyone on the LGBTQ+ spectral. That being said, As a gay black man, when
I enter a relationship, I am looking for exclusivity, monogamy, stability, mutuel understanding and a lasting relationship. I feel that another gay man uniquely sharing those values would be in a better position to provide that for me.
Good luck on your Journey Matt. I know there are others out there that share your ideals and interest and you should not feel the need to restrict yourself to being gay if your heart leans more towards bisexuality, you will met others like you.
Thank you for this. I’m a bisexual woman and it is so hard!!! And the flack we get even from inside the GSM (gender and sexual minority) community itself, let alone from the majority of people, makes it even harder. Thank you for sharing this.
I’ve never heard the term GSM before but it makes sense and I might have to start using it on the regular.
its the gay and lesbian community. funny how you complain about "erasure" yet you're trying to erase gays and lesbians and pretend you're not a barely tolerated guest in their communities? lol fuck off
@@ChristianF15cher I like it a lot more than LGBTWTFBBQ. a lot shorter, better at describing what it is.
So are you on standbi right now?
Be yourself. Don’t lie.
Excellently stated Matt! You're a great inspiration to others, including me! Gay, Bisexual, Straight is analogous to someone who's right handed, left handed, or ambidextrous. No right or wrong is involved here (and no pun intended). It just is. (in our Creator's wisdom).
The bottom line is to do what your heart feels. Don't worry about what others are thinking or judging. That is the big big mistake I did in my past. I posted this in one of your earlier videos, so I don't know if you or your viewers already read this, so I apologize if there's any redundancy. Here it is:
When I was 18, I had a crush on a friend, 16. We both had the same circle of Straight friends and our families all knew each other. I knew he wanted it as much as I did, but we were both too scared to act upon it for fear of all the fallout, i.e., vicious gossip, bullying, harassment, vandalism, and worse! This was back in 1966. I'm 74 now. Recently I found out that this friend was in the military in Vietnam in the early 1970s, contracted that Agent Orange, which eventually took his life. I would've, could've, should've, but didn't. That "what if", if I just went with my feelings and not worry about what other people think or judge, the whole outcome could've would've been different, leading to a long lasting loving (Gay) relationship. I regret it to this very day. And thank God I look much younger than I actually am, due to very healthy eating, exercise, mountain biking, hiking, swimming, etc. However, the clock is still ticking. So, there is still a chance.
Whether Gay or Bisexual, male or female, Matt the right person will come for you. Yes it's great to be independent, but when that special someone comes along, (male or female) you'll know and enjoy the pleasure of unity, where giving actually gives pleasure like you're actually receiving. It's hard to explain in words, but trust me, it's real.
Matt, you're a hot looking guy with beauty on both the outside and the inside. Whoever ends up as your boyfriend (or girlfriend) will be the luckiest person alive in my opinion. I just hope that I find somebody (I do belong to the Gay Outdoor / hiking club and met many friends there, but not a boyfriend yet). I was never into the bar scene and dating apps are very difficult (scammers, game players, and everything in between). I did meet 1 guy on there though but the chemistry was just platonic.
You have had a interesting journey I hope you meet someone special. For me the bisexual side was looking at gay porn ,no romance just sex my wife is okay with my bisexual tendencies,once a week I look at gay porn which satisfies my bisexual urges.
@@Michael-mr9kn Thank you Michael for your reply. That was so sweet! May you and your wife enjoy a blissful loving life together forever! :) :) :)
@@LenHealsU I will never meet you but I consider you a friend wish you the best
@@Michael-mr9kn You never know if we'll ever meet? You never know. I'm in the San Diego area. Are you in the USA? Where are you Michael?
Not in USA sorry best of luck to you.
Hi Matt, greetings from the U.K. I identify as gay, but in my early 20’s I had physical relationships with women (I’m now 58). Human sexuality is complex, and it’s not always helpful to give ourselves labels. Sex is not necessarily directly related to love - though it can be linked. An obvious example is family, I love my parents and brother deeply, but the thought of anything sexual there is deeply disturbing. Similarly I had a huge crush at school on the captain of the soccer team, who I hated and feared as a person, but would fantasise about at home in my bedroom - I was about 13 at the time. Humans are complex creatures, so it only follows that our sexuality is equally complex. Earlier human civilisations seemed to understand this much better (thinking of Egyptian, Greek and Roman Empires here) where sexuality was accepted as more fluid.
You can have a relationship. You can be a hetero man and fancy other women in relationships. You just don't act on it because it is cheating.
Dumb comment lol
As a gay person I always found bisexual guys more attractive to be honest and I know it must be hard but I hope it will get better and I mean lately everyone is gay anyway (lol) so it should not be that hard...
At the end if you are not in an open relationship, you can be faithful to your partner because you love them and you enjoy being with them that should matter...if living your bi life means you prefer to be with both genders, there are people who are comfortable with open relationships, etc
Sounds like internalised homophobia
@@Envision_ 🤣🤣🤣 suuure hahaha this literally cracked me up… only because i don’t prefer faggy behavior, looks, mannerisms lifestyle in a sexual way … i don’t have any internalized homophobia. My friends, etc they can do whatever, same for myself I just don’t find it attractive and also i don’t feel the need of being super gay 24/7
Thanks for your comment. For many bi people like me , if I commit to a person I just want them. Im not gonna have sex with anyone of the same or opposite sex. It’s just that I am attracted to both. Ppl don’t want you to be attracted to both bc they know they can’t compete with the opposite sex .
@drecool85 The issue is your bi friends who have come before who have not been truthful after saying the exact same thing you've just said here. It just causes doubts, and usually, people learn from the mistakes that they made or the mistakes of others. Who wants to take on the risk with their heart? No one who wants stability, that's who. Bi should stick with bi.
@@jl_nwestie hm okay, you have a point but at the same time you can never 100% trust anyone so 🤷♂️
Just found your channel! Its great listening to you. Please don't stop uploading videos!
Fellow bisexual male, I relate 100% to what you’re saying and I’m glad you’re speaking up for us
All the love and the best
It stood me many years of self reflection to come to the realization this year that I was a bisexual man and these feelings are still new to me,but won't change anything in my journey of realization.
The modern female can bend any straight man. Men age like Wine. Women age like Milk. Men are the Prize.
thanks for the insight man, im not even sure how i am and i struggle with embracing my bisexuality
i act feminine at times too but i try to hide it from the outside world, like the guy in your story i hide behind drugs and alcohol
my life feels very stagnant and my mental health is struggling, i want to sing, i want to make videos and i want to go out and live my life but i feel as if i need to learn to be myself before i succeed at anything
this has helped and i hope you are keeping well
Turns out I can sing queen
💟💜💙
@@Fergotronicsand much more i am sure
I feel you. I worked as an exotic dancer in a gay club for around 10 years, and I always heard that I was confused and needed to "pick a side" so I feel you.
I’m a lesbian but have seen how badly bi-men are treated. It seems to me that most gay men are very critical and unaccepting of other men who are bi. Also, bi men are not represented on television very much, this is something that should change.
Are you really feeling bad for this guy, who said he's attractions are super unstable, abd blame gay men for not dating someone can't be in long term relationship because he's bisexulity ? Girl
@@yasmina3999Bi sexual men are awesome. I’m lesbian and only bi sexual men don’t date cis-het men and decentering cis-het men is what I’m all about.
Beautifully done Matt. I understand the road you travel, your kind and loving soul shines through in spades. Keep healthy, keep happy and know you are endowed with special gifts others do not understand.
why the fuck does this video's sound only play on my left speaker
Same here it's locked on one side unlike the video 😂
I appreciate your openness so much!
I wish I found you years ago. I am a married man and have discovered thru my life that I am bisexual for sure. I tortured myself for years with physical anxiety, and being a less than happy father and husband. Only recently, after therapy (I finally went because my anxiety had become crippling) and listening to people ike yourself, have a I found that I am more like a grain of wheat blowing in the wind; my attractions ebb and flow between genders and that is perfectly OK. I am still learning to accept myself, but I thank God every day for people like you and the others who have commented below. I thought I was the only person in the world with these feelings....so not true.
I'm a gay man who is still not fully out of the closet. I told my friends, even very close friends I'm bisexual. I'm exactly that kind of "bisexual". I think as gay men, we are worried about loyalty. Since the chance of cheating would be double. hahaha But I'm totally okay and even prefer to have a stable relationship with a bisexual man. 'Cause if I know you well, I would trust you, no matter what's your sexuality. Love is just love, right?
Why would you choose to have a relationship with someone whose sexuality is constantly in flux?
@@Envision_ just wish his sexuality could be stable when he's with me 🤣
@@jiaxindong5020 hi , how are you, can we chat on Whatsapp
@@Envision_ I'm in one. And because her and I give person to have sexual partners of the same sex with permission ONLY, and the flux isn't "always". I can go YEARS before wanting to sleep with a man again. Me and her are mostly monogamous. Many sexually gluid people are in loyal relationships, they only need to discuss their thoughts on it.
@@CyphR1 I'm not interested in straight relationships, sorry
Sometimes I am asking myself the question: is there the extreme of being only monosexual at all? Or are we all kind of fluent and multisexual? More or less?
You have to understand that the fact that you had to make a video about this to explain things is the reason why many gay men such as myself tend to run away from bisexual people. It is so confusing and emotionally unstable that we have no choice but to protect ourselves.
Straight ppl do that to us too. Many of us are sexually fluid (abrosexual) so our preferences cha ge over time.
It is easier to blame the mean gays who won't date them, rather than do some soul-searching
@@Envision_you comment on every thing that can bash a bisexual person 😂😂😂 .. it’s so weird. If you don’t like bi ppl just run off into your gay sunset. No need to spread your hate on the majority of bisexual ppl who DONT fit the archetype of the bisexual ppl who purportedly hurt you. You’re doing the same thing straight ppl do to non-straights. SMH
@@Envision_I have never had a problem if someone felt threatened or insecure in regards to dating me as a bisexual person. Straight women or gay men.
The only problem I had with gay men or the gay community was people constantly telling me I didn’t exist, I was in denial, I don’t know myself, bi now gay later, that crap was immoral ignorant wasn’t about human rights and dignity it was just ignorant, cruel, disrespectful, and hateful arrogant ignorance.
But I can totally understand people being afraid of multiple gender attraction.
But in reality people have multi-person attractions, so how is that so different? And when a person is in a committed relationship they are in a committed relationship. People sacrifice future possibilities in a committed relationship.
@@matthewkopp2391 " that crap was immoral ignorant wasn’t about human rights and dignity it was just ignorant, cruel, disrespectful, and hateful arrogant ignorance."
Ah, here we go again - the "immoral" and "ignorant" gays
"But I can totally understand people being afraid of multiple gender attraction."
So, not being interested in a dude who craves p*ssy is being afraid? lol - also - how many 'genders' are there, Matthew? 2.3.4 - infinite?
Thank you for true emotions, not the fake play on camera. It's really important.
I don't care which way you swing as long as your honest with who you are.
I honestly can’t agree with the ppl who just want to slowly come out and use bisexuality as a cover. It just makes it harder for actually bisexual ppl and creates prejudices. This is gonna sound harsh but in MY opinion… Don’t claim a label you aren’t! You can “ease” yourself in other ways and work on yourself till you can come out.
I was totally bisexual growing up. tried to be straght. experimented with both. we all had a lot of fun. but as i got older and some of my life circumstances changed i grew into liking guys more than women and i pursued that and now today i have a gay pride flag in my bedroom but i also have the bisexual flag. i want to be in a long term relationship with a man, but i know that it's always possible for me to grow back toward the middle or other end of the spectrum. and it wouldn't be a drastic quick change, i would have to grow into it or heck idk maybe a woman could change my outlook but i know what i want right now, but that could always change. i'm also the type of person to be monogamous so once i commit myself to someone, that's it, but i definitely was totally bi for the first 30 years of my life until i got sober at 30. i stopped hiding who i was in this rural region and started seeking what i wanted instead. but don't get me wrong, i was totally into women before too, i just grew into my gayness and i love it. i really related to this video creator when he said all those different things about how like a bi guy might lean toward one more than the other or may be right in the middle, or fluid, or might be emotionally attracted to one more than the other and romantically or sexually the other.
i think people need to stop trying to identify other people or stop expecting them to be totally up front with them about their sexuality and let us do that ourselves, because it really is a discovery process that different people experience at different rates depending on opportunity, environment, biological desire and all kinds of other shit. we may not even know ourselves what we want and that's okay too. i agree that we shouldn't be leading people on in relationships, but just because someone is ready to settle down doesn't mean consenting people who want to have fun with each other shouldn't be able to because other's think they should divulge everything on the first date. if someone has a "need to know" then that's on them to respect their own boundaries to and not let themselves "go to far" and "risk being with a bisexual" who they fear will leave them later for someone else.
also, i like what he commentor said about how it boils down to honoring the agreement with your partner. communication is key
it's all part of experiencing life. remember, we could not wake up tomorrow. so make it a great day...or not; the choice is yours!
@@mylestotten3575 Can you blame anyone, especially a woman, for not wanting to date someone like you. It would be a waste of our time. At least you're honest with yourself and stopped. So, for that, I say thank you.
@@kimberlywalker3970 👏 😄 "NEXT!" 💅
The audacity to think that other people who have feelings invested in these people have no right to want the correct label. If you're gay then you've always been gay. If you're on a "bi-cycle," (stupid name and idiotic to expect women to be ok with this concept) and there is always a chance whether 1% or 40% in liking a woman, your still bisexual. Gay and straight people are not fluid. Everything in between is.
But as long as you're leaving some poor woman alone, call yourself whatever you like.
@@mylestotten3575
It’s not women responsibility to be supportive and understanding to confused men. How about you figure your shit out before you drag an innocent woman into your mess.
It’s complete bullshit that a man sometimes doesn’t know his sexuality himself. Nothing anyone say will ever convince me otherwise.
What type of man has such a lack of awareness that he doesn’t know who’s he’s willing or want to fuck?!
Not the kind of man straight women want for sure. We like men that are confident, secure within themselves, no mental health issues, know themselves and want they want.
Bi men aren’t owed special treatment. You can identify as whatever you want.
The problem occurs when a man that engages in sexual activities with other men wants to lie to women about it. They don’t want the stigma that comes with being bisexual nor lose access to sex with women.
Not disclosing sexual orientation on the first date is wasting precious time for both sides.
The majority of straight women wouldn’t date a bi man. It would be a dealbreaker. Bi men know this yet they still enter into relationships with women. It’s straight up deception!
Waiting until the woman is emotionally invested in the relationship is an emotional manipulation tactic.
It brings up the question what else is he hiding or willing to lie about? It’s a gigantic red flag showing he’s not trustworthy. Lying doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It bleeds over into other aspects of his character.
You don’t get to decide what is “need to know” or “unnecessary” for a woman. What else do you deem “unnecessary”? Incurable STI, wife, kids, no job, jail time, etc?
She’s not some toy for you to “have fun with” as you flounder around lost in the dark. Women are not objects for men to play with until they’re bored or find themselves.
No man secure in his masculinity would lie about their sexuality. You can’t have any self-respect, pride or any sense of self-worth if you want to be with a woman that find a big part of you disgusting.
@Foimay Are you ok with bisexual men claming to be f4gs?
My left ear loved this
I am 100% gay and I usually find Bi men really attractive. I think is more about finding the right partner where you connect physically, spiritually and emotionally. It is really hard to find a good partner... there are plenty of good people, the challenge is finding the right fit for you. Good luck and stay strong everyone!
It's really a shame that people care so much what others are into... I'm not bi, but I give credit to what people tell me about themselves. Most people are quite honest with me anyway, even about their cheating 😅I guess everyone's just a little complicated, but the need for society to define everything and the notion that everyone should just be in monogamous relationships isn't doing many people any favors...
But I would imagine being bi also has positives, like even though you're not attracted to only one of the genders you can probably relate to both the gay and straight experience. Being gay I feel completely alienated from straight guys and the whole dynamic of straight relationships. I find it really hard to understand the hows and whys but I guess gay relationships aren't too different in some ways. Well, relationships are just weird!
I don't think that a bisexual person understands hetero- or homosexuality on a deep level
@Envision_ what do you mean 🤔
So if they were both bi, they could stick together?
Gay man here. I've always respected bisexuality. Not all gay folks are dismissive. I hope you find someone who loves, supports and respects you - they're out there, tho often take a while to find.
Oh, and of course the pain and trauma of being gay/bisexuality can lead to mental health issues and misuse of substances. Studies have shown this to be the case. That's one of many reasons I fear for younger lgbt people growing up in today's hateful political atmosphere.
Why is the audio in one ear
I'm so annoyed right now... Aaarrrgh!
Thanks for shining a light on being Bi Matt. xoxo
It would be nice to see u with anyone. Single life is not the optimal life experience. Having someone in your life is so much more interesting.
Yeah, I hope he finds true happiness with a special person. However, I don't think it is healthy to indirectly shame straight and gay people for his loneliness
adam lewis what a stupid and insensitive remark. So you think being single is so bad that we have to pity them? I'm glad I don't know you at all.
From my own perspective it's the very same experience with people. The bisexual stigma, people are generally afraid and insecure about the concept when it come to be in a relationship with a Bi male. They don't realize that sexual orientation is not necessarily associated with values or morals in terms of commitment. It's not because i'm bisexual that i will cheat on you with a man or woman to feel the other side. I'm with you or not that's it depending on the nature of the relationship we have. And yes it does have a tool on mental health because you don't feel like you are accepted in either side that's tough and unpleasing. As long as we got each other that's it... I will subscribe definetly :)😊
respect... tthank you for taking the time and effort to share this.
Ey Matt! I passed by just to let you know how important is what you're doing. To be honest the way you see it, beyond doubt the most accurate like I live it since I turned 18. Thanks matt for making me see that i am not alone in this.
Why do my earphones not work properly during this video? They work just fine listening to other videos, but on this video, one of the earphones makes a hissing muffled sound??
Sorry about this -- it's the video. My other videos don't have this issue. I'm unsure what the issue is as I record the same way for every video.
Have you tried dating another bisexual person and/or a polyamorous person?
That’s a good point. If you can understand because you live it, then dating another person like you should resonate. Def won’t always be easy but should resonate. Im gonna try that.
Life is complicated and I was thrown into a similar circumstance against my will because of un-diagnosed mental illness. I have learned to be accepting of anyone because your life can be turned upside down in an instant and I'm living proof of that!
Well hello. I'ma 61 year old man. I have considered myself bi-sexual damn near my whole life. I have a few that know all of me and most that don't. I am "happy" with who I am.
I have empathy with people that are having difficulty with unaccepting morons! How each person lives is the one true thing that you can do. This philosophy does not preclude that opposite opinions should not get along.
Live your best life
It's not how they live. It's the people who might live with them who could get hurt. That's the worry. Empathy is a real thing, and I always feel more for the partners because the bi one just goes onto the next one. The one left is standing wondering why their lufe has been destroyed by a decision that they haven't made. Most people need stability. Most women especially and it's a worry that we cojld get used as sheilds against stigma or for an incubator. Women don't trust what men say anymore, and that's not fair on the good straight men out there.
Let me check something. Are you saying people are morons because they’re unwilling to date bi people? In this case bi men?
That quite an entitled and ignorant mentality to have. For one morality is very subjective. Especially when it comes to dating.
Bi men are not owed sex or a relationship. Dating is inherently discriminatory. Excluding people is basic aspect to it.
With your logic people not wanting to date a short man, goofy man, or a man that is jobless are morons.
You or no one else gets to decide who another refuse to date on such a deeply intimate matter.
It’s quite simple:
bi people don’t want to be judged for being attracted to multiple genders then they shouldn’t be hypocritical by judging straight people that don’t want to date bi people.
Any bi person (particularly bi dudes) can resonate with pretty much everything said in this video.
The only thing that wouldn't really apply to me is the sexual need from both sexes. I'm attracted to both sexes but I could very easily go with just sleeping with one or the other for the rest of my life and that's defintiely apart of the negative stigma
This. There are bi people who feel like they want to have sex with both sexes, but similarly there are straight and gay people who feel like they want to have sex with more than one person.
That's not inherent nor unique to bisexuality.
I totally relate to what you're saying, Matt. I wonder how you're doing in 2024?
You say that bisexuality is hard and it sucks - but I'm still wondering why YOU think that. Do you find it difficult to be bisexual? Or are you "venting" about the perceptions of bisexuality? You also strike a very interesting aspect of sexuality: relationships. Are your expectations of relationships too rigid or unrealistic? Most humans want consistency and monogamy in a relationship - this isn't a bad thing. But you can't expect people to throw that out when they meet you. With that being said; "most" isn't the same as "all". Your sexuality has shrunk the dating pool; BUT there are people out there not looking for a traditional long-term relationship - you just need to find them. One last thing - after listening to this video; I think you can understand what I go through as a gay person of colour. I can't change my race or skin colour. Therefore, I fall victim to prejudicial thoughts/perspectives that only exclude me from living a full gay life. So, my dating pool has shrunk. People like us need to learn and understand patience. This has become apart of my own personal mental health journey.
As I was thinking of replying to his video with my own comments, your comment actually perfectly states it, bravo!!!
I would like to add that I 10000% support bisexuality and that policies and protections should be put in place to help everyone on the LGBTQ+ spectral. That being said, As a gay black man, when
I enter a relationship, I am looking for monogamy, stability, mutuel understanding and a lasting relationship . I feel that another gay man uniquely sharing those values would be in a better position to provide that to me.
Good luck on your Journey Matt.
@@LeronGe Thanks man! 😊
I suppose sexual fluidity is a problem for some gay people, because we tend to clinge too much to our preciously accepted identities. Moreover it feeds many people"s internalised homophobia that homosexuality is changeable, thus unnatural condition. We dont really like thinking in flexible terms, hence we prefer to stay inside the box.
As a abrosexual, sexually and gender fluid person, they're changable and fluid with SOME people, not ALL people. And only if we desire to.
Great insight into this, Matt. Thank you
My favorite thing about Mondays: WE GET “MOORE” videos from MATT! I don’t think I was ever bisexual bc I went from totally straight and women only to a curiosity phase while single & then only men. I never went back and forth. Felt like I would hurt someone’s feelings so I tried to stay true to them & myself. I still get turned on by a beautiful female but I never pursue it bc I know what I really want 🤷🏽♂️
My best bud was definitely bisexual though & I totally understand that phase from seeing him go through all that.
"I went from totally straight and women only to a curiosity phase while single & then only men. "
That right there is the definition of bisexuality. It is in the words 'bi' = both and 'sex' = the sex of a person and the act of having sex.
You need to stop appropiating gayness and reflect your own biphobia
There is a term for those, who aren't always attracted to all genders at all times, but essencially their sexuality changes often, they're into this one day, into that the other. It's called abrosexuality. I hear a lot of people talking about this experience, but only a few know this term.
I agree, it's hard. Thanks for this video and your honesty. I am bi yet in a long-term loving relatiosnship with a man. This does NOT make me straight (as some people assume). It has meant I have to sacrifice "the other side to me" and I have had to do some grieving about that. Like you said, it's painful and probably always will be...
i hate being bisexual, i prefer men, im not dominant, i don’t know if i’d ever even date a girl, but i know that i am attracted to girls and i feel like that makes the gay part of me not valid
Don't let the toxic biphobic people in the gay community bully you, and definitely don't try to be someone you're not. Being gay is not better, and being straight is not better either. As a bisexual man, I have more options because men tend to do most of the work to sleep with me but women expect me to lead every single interaction. But the great thing is that those same confident gay men have taught me exactly how to get a woman from the bar or club to her apartment to get laid because the same gameplan applies.
Also, every time I have sex with a gay man, they never fail to compliment me a lot which boosts my self esteem and really strokes my ego to the point that I feel a lot better about myself and so confident that I do better with women. I used to never look at women in the eyes and never reciprocate a smile, but all that changed recently and I am slowly moving towards making conversation, which will move me step by step towards regular sex. All thanks to gay men.
But what reference porn movie that bi watch? Gay porn? Bi? Or straight porn?
So I have questions about being physically attracted to one gender and being emotionally connected to another gender. I get along with my mother probably better than my dad and I do feel a better emotional connection to women than men, but it never translates over to a relationship or sexual. I view it as a friendship in my mind so I’m wondering if bisexual people feel the same way as meor if it’s a different kind of romantic emotional connection.
I feel the same way, yes.
Great video Matt. I personally feel that peoples inability to accept the idea of bisexuality, in general, is simply due to homophobia. For a straight person, it's simply the belief that if a man has sex with another man it means you're gay, period. Because in their closed little minds, it is just too complex of an idea for them to process. As for the gays, I think it is a matter of inner homophobia and insecurity. Personally, I have had two relationships with men who eventually married women and had a family. My very first relationship with another man, was exciting as well as painfully disappointing. He never expressed any desire for women when we were together, and he was very active sexually with men. While I was looking for love and companionship, as well as sex, he seemed only to crave the sexual aspects. In the second relationship, he did express interest in women, and as with the other, he was more interested in our sexual activities than the relationship aspects. Because of my own inner homophobia, I felt bad and very less-than about myself. I felt as though they were better than me because they could choose to live a "normal" life that I wished to, but could not. I have battled that inner homophobia my entire life, and although I have come a long way, I doubt that I will ever be completely free from it. I do believe that men can be truly bisexual, although I will never completely understand it. There are just some things in life that people can not truly understand without actually experiencing it. But, that does not mean that we can't accept things we don't fully understand. My humble opinion is, once you find that special someone that meets your physical and emotional needs, your bisexuality will have less of an influence on your life.🥰
I think you just delivered arguments as why it is not a good idea to date bisexuals as a gay guy
@@Envision_ Exactly, I've heard this story too many times.
@@Envision_ right! I’m not biphobic at all, it’s just that I’ve seen this happen too many times to pretend as if there’s not a possibility. Like I’m not trying to walk into the lion’s den knowing damn well that from past experiences people get eaten.
@@sleepingrogue4130 besides that, I'm personally turned off by the idea of being with a guy who simultaneously desires women, or goes through phases of attraction, where he could be almost exclusively attracted to women. I'm really not interested in going through any of that. I date exclusively gay men
Stop projecting your insecurities on straight women. We don’t owe bi men sex or a relationship.
You can throw the homophobia word around all you want but you can't coerce people into dating you.
Phobia used to mean you hate/feared a group but now it's turned into "if you don't agree with my stances and don't want to date/sleep with me you're a () phobic". It's becoming ridiculous.
You’ll are co-opting bigot/biphobia and trying to conflate it with a person deeply intimate dating/fucking choices in their private life.
Not wanting to have sex or a relationship with them is a sexual preference, not a theft of their rights as a human.
As a heterosexual male on the outside looking in
and trying to get a better understanding
on how complex human sexuality can be...
how does bisexuality really "work"??
(for lack of a better way of
asking a question like that)
Are you (and / or other Bi's)
attracted to one gender for a while
and it kind of reverses at different times....
or are you (and / or other B's)
equally attracted to both genders at all times??
Thanks in advance.
I think the problem with using the term bisexual as a way to figure out your sexuality as gay or straight is harmful to bisexuals. It feeds the stereotype of "oh you are just gay/straight" If we had the the term "questioning" as a normal response then I wouldn't of had to struggle until I was 30 until I accepted I was bisexual.
That makes no sense. If you’re questioning or unsure of your sexuality then by default you can’t be straight.
I still find it unbelievable that people actually struggle with their sexuality. Either you find someone fuckable or not. It’s that simple.
What people struggle with is the stigma and shame that comes with not being straight. They can’t handle being part of a minority group and being seen as undesirable.
Therefore it’s not their sexuality they’re struggling with. It’s acceptance of themselves.
Matt, generally, like all RUclipsrs discussing related topic, you are relating to youth and people who are not mature seasoned experienced persons. Youth is necessarily half (partial) people trying to become whole. The problems are not necessarily sexual orientation but simply the process of maturing and self development in general that happens to be affected by sexual life and orientation issues. If life were perfect other that sexual, there might be far less problematic concerns.
I am a middle-aged gay male...a gold star gay, a 10 on a gayness scale of 1 to 6, etc...and, I just want to say that I, for one, understand and hear you. Like you, I also do not understand how others cant understand the reality of the spectrum and fluidity of sexual attraction, romantic attraction...and, of course, gender. It should be obvious by now that the earth isn't flat and that human sexual attraction, romantic attraction and, of course, gender are often not experienced in a binary way. And, as far as relationships, I think our community focuses on way too much on our differences than what brings us together, than on love. We create all these categories to identify ourselves with almost exclusively and all of that decreases our chances of finding someone to fall in love with. We should think more about reasons to say yes to someone than no. Perfection doesn't exist. I have never had a significant relationship and, at this point in my life, I am lonely and, before I die, I just want to have the experience of being in love with a man who is in love with me - even if it's only for a short time. If I am in love with a guy, I am willing to work hard to focus on the love that brings us together rather than the differences (top v bottom v side, gay or bi, etc) that could separate us. LGBT people are likely only 10% of the population, so the odds of us finding love are already stacked against us. We need to be willing to take more chances on one another. (Sorry, I'll getoff my soap box now :-))
I don’t want to put any labels on you, but would you say that your experience is more like what an abrosexual person might experience since your sexual orientation is fluid? Of course abrosexuality also falls under the bisexual/multi gender attraction umbrella, so I’m really not saying that you are not bi (because also, as you said in the video, everyone might have a different definition of what that means and it’s fine) but I was wondering if your experience is maybe more specific than what most bisexual people experience? And maybe it’s because of this that you feel that way about relationships. But anyway that’s only a detail. I also wanted to say that I really liked your video and that you brought up some really interesting points in it, so well done! Have a nice day/evening!
I'm abrosexual and agree, he is abro.
Talk about euphoria, negativity, enthusiasm and hypo activity😊 happy feelings, psychological distress
Problems in attention
Problems in attending greater concentration in courses and other more new attentive studies in consideration moral opinion in the other stigma in allowing proper simulation of motor sense and at the same time over thinking and free analysis of judgement ❤❤❤
Honestly I’ve been bisexual since I was a kid. But my personality is passive and introverted so my experiences haven’t been 50%
You seem so lovely, I'm sorry you have these struggles. I've just come out this year and I'm pretty nervous about trying to date
Quite honestly id be happy if a partner decided to not be with me because im bi.. but yeah it can get lonely afterawhile.. but saying straight or gay relationships are better is a lie in my experience. Like alot of those people are really repressed and not truly happy and they wont say because things arent "bad".. i hope that loveless marriage stereotype is dying out but its quite natural to find a partner and not be happy.. when did it become this thing where we find a partner and things are instantly perfect?
Hello
I am fluid and I feel I understand your request.
I have a hypothesis. I feel people's fear is maybe about their feeling we need more than them, like it is mixed with a non monogamy fear. Like we are too much opened and they are not able to put our relation is a clear box. What do you think?
Your issue is not being being Bi, if out your your "fluidity" as you call it. That's another speak for you don't want to commit to anyone. That's the real issue here regardless of their gender. Which is fine. Not everyone wants to be or needs to be in committed relationship. It's not for everyone.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience--very helpful to hear! I wonder how your experience fits in with monogamy or polyamory. That is, once you're close to someone, are you still meeting other people to get your needs met by the other sex? I've known couples where that has worked and where it hasn't even if the partner is accepting the other one as bi. What is your experience with that?
I wonder if I am bi but fear I don't have the dimensions to satisfy women. It gets complicated due to over-analysis.
Eh just stick with men then. Women don’t deserve the heartbreak.
Great video, helped me understanding my sexuality a little bit better :)
Bisexual is a legit term if you love both.
But I kinda have a reaction to it because, in my situation, or rather, in my country, it's often used as a term for, "I actually like guys, but I might want try getting sexual other gender so I can be healed," or "Scoring with the different gender itself is a bi". In the reality, these "bisexual" guys often cheat with the same gender for sexual pleasure, and their wives are often left and unknowingly cheated. If they cheat with the other "gender", now that's I would believe as "bi". Sadly, it's mostly not the case.
I once dated a bisexual, and I didn't mind because who knows I could befriend his girlfriend too. In the end, he left because he said he wanted to marry the girl. Years later, the other guy I dated also said he has married a woman, although out of pity, but he claims himself as a bisexual, but he still wants to date with me. I had enough of it.
I'm not sure if I can be considered bisexual or not anymore. When I was young, I dated more women at first. I had only a couple of interactions with other men at first.
As I got older, I ended up dating more men. I seem to have better, happier relationships with them rather than with women.
I think I have shifted up the Kinsey Scale. It didn't happen overnight. That was over a span of 30+ years.
I am fortunate to have an amazing partner but it is still so freaking complicated.. Good Lord, I have felt so alone until I saw this video.
Lately I have wished so much just to be gay or straight. It would make things so much easier.
Well being gay isn't that great either lol (I'm gay)
@@Rage_Harder_Then_Relax Neither is being straight look how many straight guys are incels
Being bisexual is definitely much much better than being gay. At least bisexuals guys have the typical straight privilege of marrying a girl and having a children whereas gays are only looked upon as someone only for sex and bodily needs!
@@Wishmaster787 kids don't get disowned from their families or cut off from their church for being incels.
How is being a homosexual easier than having heterosexual lifestyle? (which bi people do)
If i were with a bi person id always worry that i was just a temporary partner for them until they find their 'real' partner
Sounds like a you problem you need to look into.
@@Octobris haha yes probably!
"oh hes bisexual so he must just be gay" ?? where did this even come from there isn't any diminished stigma around being bi
i jus don't tell people about it anymore, especially women. I was on Facebook the other day, n seen a thread where women were like "at this point we'd rather have y'all be upfront about it, because we want to steer clear of the ones diddling other dudes". Cuz OP was straight up bout how they be rollin with the same team sometimes. I came out as bi to two friends of mine a few years ago, and it completely ruined my dating life. I'm just seen as fruity now even though I don't have any of the characteristics, and I've had woman I used to fuck with see me as the gay ex. It genuinely makes me regret choosing to come out in the first place
So you’re tricking women into relationships by lying all because your dating/fucking options are reduced.
You can’t really value a genuine connection and healthy relationship when it’s built on a foundation of lies.
Whatever relationship you have is doomed from the start. Someone that lies easily over a big thing such as sexuality is deceitful by nature.
What else you’re lying about or willingly to lie about? HIV? Unemployment? Criminal? Mental illness?
This is a very problematic mindset bi men have. You’re taking away a woman agency to give consent. No different than stealthing.
Any man that wants to be with a woman that find a big aspect of him disgusting can’t be worth dating.
He definitely suffer from low self-esteem and no self-respect to accept that.
much love to you Matt
I'm not that knowledgeable regarding bisexual people and I didn't realize that there was a stigma surrounding it but out of curiosity, I would think that a throuple would work out more so for bisexual individuals who are emotionally attracted to one gender and physical attracted to another 🤔
Again, I'm not making a statement simple wondering 🤔
Be yourself be happy, no labels
As a bi guy i compartmentalize sex differently than intimate experiences. Sex is an expression of my deep care for a person who i know that i can be vulnerable with and trust. Im after whats in the ❤ not what parts they have.
I came out later in life. I Definitely have it sorted now and I am gay. I was married to a pretty nice bloke and it wasn’t any nightmare living as straight but I am definitely gay and have zero interest in any guys and do not consider that I was every bi just undercover gay. All good as I have two fabulous grown son and I wouldn’t change that ever. Just my path I guess.
Yeah it’s hard for sure. I’m 27 and I still haven’t come out of the closet due to the judgement I’ve faced from the few people I have told.
After being with my bi ex for 3 years, I feel for so much of your pain. It’s something you can’t help nor can you stop. I had to let her go when she told me she now thought she was gay and no longer wanted a life with me. It’s heartbreaking, but I know I couldn’t fight it.
Hugs and lots of love 💕! While you are figuring things out !
Hugs and love back to you again! I am bombarding you with replies.
Thank you for saying this out loud .. being bi isnt part of LGBTI beacuse we have a portion of us being straight .. we are own tribe .. the greatest discrimination ive recieved was from gays who just dont understand a bi Reality of existence ..
Every guy that I slept with was gay and supportive of my bisexuality. So I don't think that's quite true. Straight women can have a lot of prejudice but if you wait until you sleep with them a bunch of times to tell them you're bi, they will be far more likely to accept you because of the emotional bond. Kind of manipulative but it is the only way for a bi man to have sex with straight women most of the time and they are much more common than bi women so it's not even a choice.
@@lazo3251 Believe me, there are straight women in the world who will still break up with you even after sex-not because you’re bisexual, but because you’re deceptive and manipulative and not the type of man they want to build a future with.
Even after marriage-more and more women are being raised not to take men’s lies and dishonorable behaviors anymore.
If you want to sleep with both genders, be accountable for it and accept that some women just wouldn’t be interested. Be honest upfront.
@@lazo3251
It’s not kind of manipulation! It’s exactly emotional manipulation.
You’re a disgusting piece of garbage for being with any woman without letting her know you engage in sexual relations with other men.
Bringing a woman into a type of situation she never agreed on or signed up for. You bi men feel as if you’re entitled to straight women bodies.
Only a despicable person build a relationship on foundation of lies and deception.
If you lie about this what else you’re lying about or be willing to lie about. You’re not worthy of trust.
Stop being a coward and man up. Bi men that lie about their sexual orientation are cowardly wimps and revolting scum. They have no morals or scruples. You be the ones giving women STI’s or HIV.
Risking their health and can cause them to have infertility because of an untreated STI.
I hope a woman out you to your family, friends neighbors and colleagues. Hit you were it hurts the most since low life punks like you are little bitches that care too much about what people think of you.
Bisexuals hiding their sexual duality from straight women deserve whatever hell that come to their way when outed!!
Oddly, all of my exes are: military, men, Catholic, bisexual. My only requirement is monogamy.
I have such a weakness for a bisexual man I know. Love being with him, but as a gay man, it hurts because we can never truly have a committed relationship. I definitely treasure our friendship, though.