I can relate to so much of what you're saying. Back in the 90s and early 2000's, we were raised in a very heteronormative society. I had my first experience with a crush on my 5th-grade teacher, who was a woman. Then it was Dana Scully from the X-Files. But at the same time, I was also attracted to boys. I spent a lot of time thinking I was weird because there was little awareness of bisexuality during that time, so I never really came out until a few years ago to a select few people. When I was dating my husband, I figured, well I can't be lesbian because I do like guys. But when there became much more awareness in society is when I figured it out. I'm really blessed because I was afraid of what my husband might think, but he's very supportive and doesn't think any differently of me.
hahaha omg The X-Files was also my bisexual awakening. That show and Friends. I was attracted to both Dana Scully and Fox Mulder, as well as both Joey Tribiani and Rachel Green.
It's so refreshing to hear a man talk so openly about his sexuality. :) I think it's important to remember that sexuality is fluid. I know it can be stressful to not have a label but it's okay to be attracted to whoever you're attracted to. Idw to make things more complicated but you can be sexually attracted to certain people and romantically attracted to certain people. They don't always go together so this can def create some confusion. You are definitely not alone in feeling this way! You just seem like such a sweet person. Please continue to have these discussions. 😊
Apologies but that makes no sense sexually is romantic was only a matter of time b4 someone says it b7t yes great video Also I prefer personally the word spectrum i totally agree there is such
Your Story is almost identical to mine, You are not alone with your past struggle, I was right beside you in another Time Zone across the planet, dealing with the exact same thing's, Kudo's to you my friend for expressing your story. You made my Day!!
Hey Matt, thanks for sharing...the important thing is that you accept yourself for who you are. It doesn't matter if others don't or won't. Just stay true to you and love yourself ❤
Ok. So bisexual. Sexuality isn't just about sexual attraction. It's also about romantic, emotional and physical attraction. Also, maybe you're more attracted to one gender than the other. But if your still attracted to both. You're definitely bisexual or pansexual. Not gay.
This is such a great video. I love your honesty - it's so refreshing and sheds like on feelings I think many peopel feel, but may be too embarassed or uncomfortable sharing. We're told a lot to "not feel this way or that way." I think we all have the capacity to explore our sexualities, that our sexualities can be fluid rather than totally 100% "fixed" across our lifespan. I have always found comfort and strength in your videos through the years. Keep it up!
If a gay boy grows up taught that heteronormativity is the only norm, it’s just natural to fancy girls “like the other boys do” in school. It’s not “bisexual orientation” per se, just bicuriosity and bisexual behaviour. That childhood and teenage experience does affect the rest of your life. In my experience, the thing is to accept yourself fully and to honestly know who (which gender or whatever) you’d really love to be with. Not just for some time but for the rest of your life.
I've learned over the years that life is shades of grey and not black and white like when i was younger. Sadly this shook up my world view and i haven't been the same since i found this out
Omg. 7:47! My heart is breaking bud. I never realized that knowing from day 1 that I was 100% gay was a good thing. It's all complex. I very much feel the internalized homophobia is a very real thing. I used to wake up every day wishing that I could proclaim every day that I was "one of them." like so many people. This election has done away with all of that. I have grown and realized that I was simply trying to be a people pleaser instead of being who I am, and I don't need to apologize for that. No-one is apologizing to me for being who they are... Anyone and everyone that doesn't accept us for who we are can literally F off. Be you bud! Just don't turn around and take the easy road and throw those of us who have no choice under the buss to "fit in." That will make you worse than Hitler.
I'm sure you can understand why a gay man cannot feel secure with a bi- sexual man. It's basically telling a gay man l'm committed to you until l want a woman. You cannot base a future with that. I think you are a nice and attractive man, but l personally couldn't be with someone like that.
Cool post, Matt. I stop comparing my struggles to others. Not sure if it is due to maturity or upbringing or education, or maybe a combination of all three, and more. Appreciate your posts because you bring perspectives. I knew very young where my heart was, unfortunately, need to play a role because certain actions are not acceptable. As you mentioned, "I know I will be faithful", and I am learning that if people do not see that, it would be more their loss than mine. I have been accepting and respectful of others' preferences, even if I do not practice or fully understand where a person is coming from. Looking forward to future posts on any subject, sensitive, controversial, fun, and more. Forgot to mention..... one of my many flaws involves acceptance of one's self.
Good hearing a point of view from the mix. I'm a 100% gay, never was interested in any female, or feminized male. Even at a younger age I want only to be around men. I played the stupid game of dating women, but mainly for the desire of having a story to tell the "Guys". Men were the only turn on throughout my life. But nice to hear a different point of view, Matt.
I remember being in 2nd grade and there was this girl that I was head over heals for. One day during lunch all my friends, while we ate in the cafeteria, were talking about girls. At one point everyone turned over to me and started asking me if it were true that I liked this one girl, after confirming it to them they obviously decided to let the girl know, who was not 4 kids apart from us. Everyone at the table now knew and made fun of me the entire school year. The girl eventually began to ignore me and go hang out with her friends never to associate with me again. I like to believe that i wasnt really attracted to her, more so i just simply admired her and wanted to be really good friends with her. Specially later on starting to realize i was more fond of guys when i was in the 4th-5th grade. In regards to sexual orientation, I would say im 95% gay where there may be some girl that i would get with but have yet to meet/seen one. P.S. Your shirt game is amazing. You always have amazing art on them.
dude THANK YOU for sharing this!!!! It is hard to talk about this especially as a man! I couldn't figure out why I couldn't explain my sexuality to people and you hit it on the nail; because its easier to say I'm gay. I feel like sometimes we go through stages where we are more attracted to men/women. I don't think bisexual people are 50/50 attracted to both sexes. Its really complex. Sometimes I would get so much anxiety and get scared because I didn't know how to identify myself. On apps like Feeld there are more terminilogy like "homoflexible" and "heteroflexible"...I wonder if you feel more aligned to those?
Matt, this was great. Thanks for sharing, plus you appear so relaxed. So different from your earlier videos. I always admired that about you, you identify as gay but you break all those stereotypes. We get so stuck on labels and I can understand why it’s easy to assign people labels, it’s more for us. We’re lazy and its easy to plug one into a group. But, you help many others see just how complex sexual identity is. I know for years I didn’t understand my own since, I have always admire women, then somehow it transferred over to men. I got in trouble for kissing girls in first grade, thankfully the young girls were nice about it though. Then, in sixth grade we got this long term sub who not only was a young male teacher, but he appeared to the class as being straight out of Hollywood. He had this pair of tight fitting shark skinned Slacks that were so hot? I think they allowed him to wear them, since their was not evidence of the male bulge? But, I could imagine? Now that I’m older and have to some extent accepted my uniqueness, I can still appreciate the female form, the way they walk, smell, tease, and look in skirts and heels. Yet I can’t bring myself to have full on intercourse. Yet, since men are rough and tough to a certain degree, I see the sexual encounter as part of our male identity. Competing, horsing around, aggressive displays of bonding, things that create this brotherhood? I just try not to over analyze these things? It’s always good to see you and see how you are doing? Stay well and be safe. Alex from LA
Thank you for sharing so openly these struggles, that so many men face in secret. I happen to be just gay, as boring as that is nowadays 😄 Seems to me much of this confusion is based on porn consumption; people who watch a lot of extreme porn become numb to everything "vanilla", and look for more intensity session after session. They seem to end up in some pretty twisted spaces, and I think much of what is labeled as "autogynephilia" along with other paraphilias sometimes stem from this. Or that's my guess. Be that as it may, hope we all hold space and grace for each other just as much as for ourselves.
damn this is so relatable. i just wish there wasn't such a desperation to apply labels to everyone - but it seems like that is the only way a very heteronormative society accepts and understands it. even the term "queer"- which was meant to be an umbrella term to stop that kind of confusion- is super restricting and limiting since it implies to a lot of people you're into that feminine and camp shit, which a lot of us aren't at all. I make a point to not define my attractions to anyone because I can never pin it down. why explain it to others when I can hardly explain it to myself?
I had the biggest crush on my high school basketball coach but once I graduated it stopped bc we were more like father/son and I’m still to the day super close to him and his wife. Funny bc I always had a gf during that time but for whatever reason I would try and be close to him in situations
Thanks Matt for sharing and being so relatable! I just came out a few years ago myself after being married to a woman and then getting divorced. And one of things I thought about along the path to figuring out my own sexuality was that I do find women attractive and see the beauty there, but do I want to actually have sexual relations with any woman and the answer was "no". Wondering if that was the case for you as well in regards to your "bi" side.
I’ve always enjoyed watching your videos. Never really commented. I just felt like you might need to hear that you don’t have to have a label for yourself. However, if you really wanted one it seems like you might fall in the pansexual camp a bit. You just seem to be attracted to everyone on some level and it’s ultimately about the person and who they are more than their gender. I’m not a psychologist or anything haha. Just an observation and thought I’d share 💙
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’ve had sex with men and women but never could identify with the term bisexual because I’m not attracted to a person’s gender rather the actual person. Pansexual fits me completely. I do believe it’s more socially acceptable for female bodied people to be sexually variant than men and it’s sad. I appreciate you telling your story because hearing stories from fluid individuals broadens people’s ideas beyond the normative expectations of society. 🖤
“[I] never could identify with the term bisexual because I’m not attracted to a person’s gender rather than the actual person.” I find that such a strange statement. Do you not think that a bisexual is attracted to a person too? Sexuality is one (significant) aspect of a person. You can’t be attracted to an abstract sexuality, it doesn’t make sense. I’m gay but I’m not attracted to the concept of homosexuality, I’m attracted to men who want to relate emotionally and sexually to a man. It sounds as though you are attracted to both men and women who want to relate emotionally and sexually to you. If naming that ‘pansexuality’ rather than ‘bisexuality’ feels more comfortable then fair enough, but … I think my problem is that I’m old school. I’m a great believer in the idea that of that old spectrum where some are 100% gay and some 100% straight but the vast majority of us are somewhere between. It seems like toothpaste, music genres and more, we can’t stop creating new categories and dividing everything into smaller and smaller slices. I remember that we referred to lesbian, gay and bisexuals (though even those are relatively recent constructs). Now we have LGBTIQA+, let alone non-binary, genderfluid and pansexual. In another 10 years time how many more letters will be added to the string? Does it actually help anyone or simply create even more confusing categories that make negotiating your emotional and sexual life more complicated? What a minefield we’ve created.
@@KiltedGreen I appreciate your thoughtful comment. I can also see how you interpreted what I said in the way you did. I did not intend to dismiss anyone else’s experiences with my statement. If I did, my apologies. I just wanted to express my clarity around the importance of connection over everything else, as well as include other gender/sexually expansive folks who don’t fit within homonormativity either. I’ve been attracted to everyone and seek connection on that alone. Don’t have a specific type-just that I like who I like. In an ideal world, labels would be meaningless and we could all just BE. Our existence alone could substantiate respect. Unfortunately, we do live in a world where labels and titles do exist and for segments of society, the ability to identify within them helps to navigate life with clarity. Im here for that-and for others as well. Life is not a one size fits all experience. I’m old school as well, but I continue to learn and am open to the flux of life, identity and everything else. Always here for the queers ✊🏾🩵
Great video! I've often struggled with labelling myself gay because my interests have changes so much over the years, and just like you I remember having strong attractions to girls and guys throughout my life. I did ultimately feel pressured into 'choosing' between coming out as gay or acting straight. I feel weird now saying I could be Bi, and the idea of 'coming' out again as Bi.. Sexuality is such a fluid thing :P
I've never understood all the prejudice against bi people. Especially coming from other LGBT people, I find it really inexcusable. Anyway man please don't feel like you have to put yourself into a box or category! The right person will be open minded enough to accept you for exactly who you are
Hi Matt, I have been watching some of your videos recently. I appreciate your honesty. And I'm significantly older than you. I'll be 67 in less than a month. What if it's not just all one side or the other gay straight by whatever We get so focused on and fussing with putting ourselves in some box. What about if you're just a sexual man and you're attracted to certain kinds of people? Because what other people think is really none of your business. They're going to think what they're going to think. I also wanted to ask if you have ever heard of HSPs or highly sensitive people? I know a couple of people who deal with this condition and as they began to learn that they're not losing it, but they're just extremely sensitive. It helped So you might want to check up on HSPs. If I can be of some support, reach out. Identify as gay. I have had over my lifetime of several relationships with women. I'm not opposed to it. It's just not my initial attraction. I like men who are men who like men. But I'm also an ordained minister. A new thought metaphysical minister. If I can help just be a person on the phone to talk to. I'm willing. You can pour cup of coffee and I can pour a cup of coffee and we could chat. At any rate don't take it also. Seriously, relax and have some fun with your life. 😎
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You could have started out as a heteroromantic homosexual, maybe? And the thing is, even girls find other girls mean. And as a timid person, maybe you wanted to avoid folks that were mean. Admiration is often associated with attraction for queer folk, yeah. I had many gay-like things growing up, to put it in your words. So, I can relate to that. You're probably a Kinsey 4 or 5. I'm a 2. I now see myself as a bisexual Gray-Ace whose primary attraction is to men, but only platonically. I'm happily married to my wife, who I have been with for 5 years. She accepts me. Yeah. Sexuality is weird and complex, man.
I don't get this Biphobia in the LGBTQ+ community. My EX was bisexual and I didn't care that he was. We had a mutual attraction to each other and that was that!
You don't get it? Really?! That's an easy one... First off, bi guys love to use their catchphrase: "In the future I see myself marrying a girl, having a family". As if it was only possible to be happy and having a family with a girl 🙄. So most gay guys don't even bother, I mean, we're not getting any younger here. And second, you'll always worry if they are sexually satisfied, it's not about cheating per se, it's about physical needs... Let's be honest, it's not easy to be gay in the world that we live in, dating bi guys only adds to it. We just don't want to make things harder on ourselves.
@@Rapha2587 this is why bi people can never come out, straights hate them or think they don't exist, and gays think they'll cheat or leave them. So amazing... 🙄 as if gay men don't the same to other gay men all the damn time lol
@@chs75 Nah, you just don't want to hear the truth. Bisexuals are always wondering why they are "excluded" from the community. Well, that's the reason! Mostly, they want us for sex, but in the end, they'll settle for a heteronormative life.
@@Rapha2587 Intro: Well let's unpack this and look at it another way. Part 1: Anyone of any gender/sexuality can get cold feet and decide to break it off. Straight people get left at the alter after getting that deeply involved with someone who they thought loved them to death. The same goes for cheating and being sexually unsatisfied. Part 2: There is a thing called sex therapy and sometimes this problem is one of the topics couples describe in their sessions. Conclusion: The only true solution to these problems is trust, communication, and compromise. If your relationship is failing in on of these areas if not all of them: A. You shouldn't be with the person in the first place B. You won't substain a healthy relationship balance C. The relationship will ultimately fail regardless of orientation. Reprisal: I'm not saying that there aren't bisexuals who aren't looking to start a nonheteronormative family. What I am saying is that we can't generalize a whole group of people. That's like straight people saying every gay man is into drag, is too sassy, and is feminine. Finally: If someone gives you the red flag that the relationship is only temporary even as a joke. Then save yourself the trouble and set your boundaries by saying I respect myself to much to waste my time further with you.
Are you going to continue on with this topic? I'd like to hear you expand on where you are now. I've always known I was gay. I knew that from out of the womb. I do remember pretending to be like other boys but I knew I was different, and I knew I needed to keep that a secret. What made it worse for me was that I thought I had to be like my twin brother (he's straight) but I wasn't. I really thought I was broken or something. Did you feel the same way with your twin? I'm curious to know what its like not being confident in your sexual orientation. Also - random thought - I grew up with other twins (as I know you did) - did you think there was a gay twin in other sets? I did for a bit. I knew this other set - Kevin and Keith, and I thought one of them must be like me. I never really got that answer though. Anyway - I'm looking forward to your fetish video - I remember you doing one quite some time ago (as you were figuring things out with the healthiness of your sexuality).
You’re like the same gaymer bro type as me lol. You play Xbox? I heard you say you had a streaming channel. I’m trying to find some friends to play a few games with once and a while. (If you want) I’m mainly on later and play Halo and other stuff. Gay 30s is creeping in on me too lol I
Matt, some of what you went through with girls, so did I. The girls used to call me the kissing bug because I would chase them around trying to kiss them. A few years later I was noticing the boys that were getting biceps.
No worries. Its okay to be gay! Lets face it, some guys are very cute. Thankfully we live in a time where we can be open about our preferences. Your refreshing openess and integrity earned a sub 😊
“I’ll be 100% committed to you.”
Melted.
I can relate to so much of what you're saying. Back in the 90s and early 2000's, we were raised in a very heteronormative society. I had my first experience with a crush on my 5th-grade teacher, who was a woman. Then it was Dana Scully from the X-Files. But at the same time, I was also attracted to boys. I spent a lot of time thinking I was weird because there was little awareness of bisexuality during that time, so I never really came out until a few years ago to a select few people. When I was dating my husband, I figured, well I can't be lesbian because I do like guys. But when there became much more awareness in society is when I figured it out. I'm really blessed because I was afraid of what my husband might think, but he's very supportive and doesn't think any differently of me.
hahaha omg The X-Files was also my bisexual awakening. That show and Friends. I was attracted to both Dana Scully and Fox Mulder, as well as both Joey Tribiani and Rachel Green.
Really appreciate you sharing. A lot I can relate to. The journey continues.
Oh wow alltheyway! That is really nice of you and I appreciate it!! :)
@MattMoore83 no problem, well deserved! I've watched more of your videos. I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way.
Following your IG now, too.
It's so refreshing to hear a man talk so openly about his sexuality. :) I think it's important to remember that sexuality is fluid. I know it can be stressful to not have a label but it's okay to be attracted to whoever you're attracted to. Idw to make things more complicated but you can be sexually attracted to certain people and romantically attracted to certain people. They don't always go together so this can def create some confusion. You are definitely not alone in feeling this way! You just seem like such a sweet person. Please continue to have these discussions. 😊
Apologies but that makes no sense sexually is romantic was only a matter of time b4 someone says it b7t yes great video
Also I prefer personally the word spectrum i totally agree there is such
Your Story is almost identical to mine, You are not alone with your past struggle, I was right beside you in another Time Zone across the planet, dealing with the exact same thing's, Kudo's to you my friend for expressing your story. You made my Day!!
Hey Matt, thanks for sharing...the important thing is that you accept yourself for who you are. It doesn't matter if others don't or won't. Just stay true to you and love yourself ❤
Ok. So bisexual.
Sexuality isn't just about sexual attraction. It's also about romantic, emotional and physical attraction. Also, maybe you're more attracted to one gender than the other. But if your still attracted to both. You're definitely bisexual or pansexual. Not gay.
This is such a great video. I love your honesty - it's so refreshing and sheds like on feelings I think many peopel feel, but may be too embarassed or uncomfortable sharing. We're told a lot to "not feel this way or that way." I think we all have the capacity to explore our sexualities, that our sexualities can be fluid rather than totally 100% "fixed" across our lifespan. I have always found comfort and strength in your videos through the years. Keep it up!
If a gay boy grows up taught that heteronormativity is the only norm, it’s just natural to fancy girls “like the other boys do” in school. It’s not “bisexual orientation” per se, just bicuriosity and bisexual behaviour. That childhood and teenage experience does affect the rest of your life. In my experience, the thing is to accept yourself fully and to honestly know who (which gender or whatever) you’d really love to be with. Not just for some time but for the rest of your life.
I've learned over the years that life is shades of grey and not black and white like when i was younger. Sadly this shook up my world view and i haven't been the same since i found this out
Omg. 7:47! My heart is breaking bud. I never realized that knowing from day 1 that I was 100% gay was a good thing. It's all complex. I very much feel the internalized homophobia is a very real thing. I used to wake up every day wishing that I could proclaim every day that I was "one of them." like so many people. This election has done away with all of that. I have grown and realized that I was simply trying to be a people pleaser instead of being who I am, and I don't need to apologize for that. No-one is apologizing to me for being who they are... Anyone and everyone that doesn't accept us for who we are can literally F off. Be you bud! Just don't turn around and take the easy road and throw those of us who have no choice under the buss to "fit in." That will make you worse than Hitler.
I don’t think I’ve ever connected more to a video than this one in my life. Thanks for sharing your story bro. 🙏🏾
I'm sure you can understand why a gay man cannot feel secure with a bi- sexual man. It's basically telling a gay man l'm committed to you until l want a woman. You cannot base a future with that. I think you are a nice and attractive man, but l personally couldn't be with someone like that.
Agreed. I feel the same.
@@BabyBugBugI would be with a bi guy, as long as the women he's with also knows he's with me
Cool post, Matt. I stop comparing my struggles to others. Not sure if it is due to maturity or upbringing or education, or maybe a combination of all three, and more. Appreciate your posts because you bring perspectives. I knew very young where my heart was, unfortunately, need to play a role because certain actions are not acceptable. As you mentioned, "I know I will be faithful", and I am learning that if people do not see that, it would be more their loss than mine. I have been accepting and respectful of others' preferences, even if I do not practice or fully understand where a person is coming from. Looking forward to future posts on any subject, sensitive, controversial, fun, and more. Forgot to mention..... one of my many flaws involves acceptance of one's self.
Good hearing a point of view from the mix. I'm a 100% gay, never was interested in any female, or feminized male. Even at a younger age I want only to be around men. I played the stupid game of dating women, but mainly for the desire of having a story to tell the "Guys". Men were the only turn on throughout my life. But nice to hear a different point of view, Matt.
I remember being in 2nd grade and there was this girl that I was head over heals for. One day during lunch all my friends, while we ate in the cafeteria, were talking about girls. At one point everyone turned over to me and started asking me if it were true that I liked this one girl, after confirming it to them they obviously decided to let the girl know, who was not 4 kids apart from us. Everyone at the table now knew and made fun of me the entire school year. The girl eventually began to ignore me and go hang out with her friends never to associate with me again. I like to believe that i wasnt really attracted to her, more so i just simply admired her and wanted to be really good friends with her. Specially later on starting to realize i was more fond of guys when i was in the 4th-5th grade. In regards to sexual orientation, I would say im 95% gay where there may be some girl that i would get with but have yet to meet/seen one.
P.S. Your shirt game is amazing. You always have amazing art on them.
dude THANK YOU for sharing this!!!! It is hard to talk about this especially as a man! I couldn't figure out why I couldn't explain my sexuality to people and you hit it on the nail; because its easier to say I'm gay. I feel like sometimes we go through stages where we are more attracted to men/women. I don't think bisexual people are 50/50 attracted to both sexes. Its really complex. Sometimes I would get so much anxiety and get scared because I didn't know how to identify myself. On apps like Feeld there are more terminilogy like "homoflexible" and "heteroflexible"...I wonder if you feel more aligned to those?
Matt, this was great. Thanks for sharing, plus you appear so relaxed. So different from your earlier videos. I always admired that about you, you identify as gay but you break all those stereotypes. We get so stuck on labels and I can understand why it’s easy to assign people labels, it’s more for us. We’re lazy and its easy to plug one into a group. But, you help many others see just how complex sexual identity is. I know for years I didn’t understand my own since, I have always admire women, then somehow it transferred over to men. I got in trouble for kissing girls in first grade, thankfully the young girls were nice about it though. Then, in sixth grade we got this long term sub who not only was a young male teacher, but he appeared to the class as being straight out of Hollywood. He had this pair of tight fitting shark skinned Slacks that were so hot? I think they allowed him to wear them, since their was not evidence of the male bulge? But, I could imagine? Now that I’m older and have to some extent accepted my uniqueness, I can still appreciate the female form, the way they walk, smell, tease, and look in skirts and heels. Yet I can’t bring myself to have full on intercourse. Yet, since men are rough and tough to a certain degree, I see the sexual encounter as part of our male identity. Competing, horsing around, aggressive displays of bonding, things that create this brotherhood? I just try not to over analyze these things? It’s always good to see you and see how you are doing? Stay well and be safe. Alex from LA
Thank you for sharing so openly these struggles, that so many men face in secret.
I happen to be just gay, as boring as that is nowadays 😄 Seems to me much of this confusion is based on porn consumption; people who watch a lot of extreme porn become numb to everything "vanilla", and look for more intensity session after session. They seem to end up in some pretty twisted spaces, and I think much of what is labeled as "autogynephilia" along with other paraphilias sometimes stem from this. Or that's my guess.
Be that as it may, hope we all hold space and grace for each other just as much as for ourselves.
Matt, I am very interested in watching your upcoming videos!!! I understand many of the feelings that you have/had.
Bisexuality and pansexuality needs to be more accepted. Let people be who they are and be proud.
so happy your back and your openness is amazing sharing your stories I wish to hear more on your journey
damn this is so relatable. i just wish there wasn't such a desperation to apply labels to everyone - but it seems like that is the only way a very heteronormative society accepts and understands it. even the term "queer"- which was meant to be an umbrella term to stop that kind of confusion- is super restricting and limiting since it implies to a lot of people you're into that feminine and camp shit, which a lot of us aren't at all. I make a point to not define my attractions to anyone because I can never pin it down. why explain it to others when I can hardly explain it to myself?
I had the biggest crush on my high school basketball coach but once I graduated it stopped bc we were more like father/son and I’m still to the day super close to him and his wife. Funny bc I always had a gf during that time but for whatever reason I would try and be close to him in situations
I'm liking these new series of videos. Thank you for letting us in.
Thanks Matt for sharing and being so relatable! I just came out a few years ago myself after being married to a woman and then getting divorced. And one of things I thought about along the path to figuring out my own sexuality was that I do find women attractive and see the beauty there, but do I want to actually have sexual relations with any woman and the answer was "no". Wondering if that was the case for you as well in regards to your "bi" side.
glad to see you posting again welcome back
I had a gym teacher too who I had the biggest crush on. I had girlfriends all through school. So similar story.
I’ve always enjoyed watching your videos. Never really commented. I just felt like you might need to hear that you don’t have to have a label for yourself. However, if you really wanted one it seems like you might fall in the pansexual camp a bit. You just seem to be attracted to everyone on some level and it’s ultimately about the person and who they are more than their gender. I’m not a psychologist or anything haha. Just an observation and thought I’d share 💙
Bro sounds like you're under the bi/pan umbrella you might be thinking about it too hard heh.
Just watched again and tripped out again how similar your experiences were to mine.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’ve had sex with men and women but never could identify with the term bisexual because I’m not attracted to a person’s gender rather the actual person. Pansexual fits me completely. I do believe it’s more socially acceptable for female bodied people to be sexually variant than men and it’s sad. I appreciate you telling your story because hearing stories from fluid individuals broadens people’s ideas beyond the normative expectations of society. 🖤
“[I] never could identify with the term bisexual because I’m not attracted to a person’s gender rather than the actual person.”
I find that such a strange statement. Do you not think that a bisexual is attracted to a person too? Sexuality is one (significant) aspect of a person. You can’t be attracted to an abstract sexuality, it doesn’t make sense. I’m gay but I’m not attracted to the concept of homosexuality, I’m attracted to men who want to relate emotionally and sexually to a man. It sounds as though you are attracted to both men and women who want to relate emotionally and sexually to you. If naming that ‘pansexuality’ rather than ‘bisexuality’ feels more comfortable then fair enough, but …
I think my problem is that I’m old school. I’m a great believer in the idea that of that old spectrum where some are 100% gay and some 100% straight but the vast majority of us are somewhere between. It seems like toothpaste, music genres and more, we can’t stop creating new categories and dividing everything into smaller and smaller slices. I remember that we referred to lesbian, gay and bisexuals (though even those are relatively recent constructs). Now we have LGBTIQA+, let alone non-binary, genderfluid and pansexual. In another 10 years time how many more letters will be added to the string? Does it actually help anyone or simply create even more confusing categories that make negotiating your emotional and sexual life more complicated?
What a minefield we’ve created.
@@KiltedGreen I appreciate your thoughtful comment. I can also see how you interpreted what I said in the way you did. I did not intend to dismiss anyone else’s experiences with my statement. If I did, my apologies. I just wanted to express my clarity around the importance of connection over everything else, as well as include other gender/sexually expansive folks who don’t fit within homonormativity either. I’ve been attracted to everyone and seek connection on that alone. Don’t have a specific type-just that I like who I like. In an ideal world, labels would be meaningless and we could all just BE. Our existence alone could substantiate respect. Unfortunately, we do live in a world where labels and titles do exist and for segments of society, the ability to identify within them helps to navigate life with clarity. Im here for that-and for others as well. Life is not a one size fits all experience. I’m old school as well, but I continue to learn and am open to the flux of life, identity and everything else. Always here for the queers ✊🏾🩵
From my perspective i prefer bi men more than gay men.
Matt, love the shirt!
Great video! I've often struggled with labelling myself gay because my interests have changes so much over the years, and just like you I remember having strong attractions to girls and guys throughout my life. I did ultimately feel pressured into 'choosing' between coming out as gay or acting straight. I feel weird now saying I could be Bi, and the idea of 'coming' out again as Bi.. Sexuality is such a fluid thing :P
I've never understood all the prejudice against bi people. Especially coming from other LGBT people, I find it really inexcusable.
Anyway man please don't feel like you have to put yourself into a box or category! The right person will be open minded enough to accept you for exactly who you are
Mentally im laying on the floor exhausted from all the bs i go through being bi.
Hi Matt, I have been watching some of your videos recently. I appreciate your honesty. And I'm significantly older than you. I'll be 67 in less than a month. What if it's not just all one side or the other gay straight by whatever We get so focused on and fussing with putting ourselves in some box. What about if you're just a sexual man and you're attracted to certain kinds of people? Because what other people think is really none of your business. They're going to think what they're going to think. I also wanted to ask if you have ever heard of HSPs or highly sensitive people? I know a couple of people who deal with this condition and as they began to learn that they're not losing it, but they're just extremely sensitive. It helped So you might want to check up on HSPs. If I can be of some support, reach out. Identify as gay. I have had over my lifetime of several relationships with women. I'm not opposed to it. It's just not my initial attraction. I like men who are men who like men. But I'm also an ordained minister. A new thought metaphysical minister. If I can help just be a person on the phone to talk to. I'm willing. You can pour cup of coffee and I can pour a cup of coffee and we could chat. At any rate don't take it also. Seriously, relax and have some fun with your life. 😎
I thoroughly enjoyed this and to some extent relate. Thanks for making this!
Your forearms look so nice with your sleeves pulled up!
I'd date bi guys as a gay guy. If they need the other for physical fulfillment it would be okay with me.
You're just bisexual welcome to the club our life is God damn mess
So you are definitely bisexual. Just accept it dude! Stop trying to be gay when you're not.
HAS TO BE SO CONFUSING AND AS A STRAIGHT GIRL THAT ONLY WANTS A MAN 💯 ...I HOPE YOU FIND LOVE
What is the matter of psychological degradation
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What can lead to less stamina
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You could have started out as a heteroromantic homosexual, maybe?
And the thing is, even girls find other girls mean. And as a timid person, maybe you wanted to avoid folks that were mean.
Admiration is often associated with attraction for queer folk, yeah. I had many gay-like things growing up, to put it in your words. So, I can relate to that.
You're probably a Kinsey 4 or 5. I'm a 2.
I now see myself as a bisexual Gray-Ace whose primary attraction is to men, but only platonically. I'm happily married to my wife, who I have been with for 5 years. She accepts me.
Yeah. Sexuality is weird and complex, man.
Your videos do such a great job of describing experiences of bisexuality👍
Tq for sharing matt...u a good guy and loyal #respect & #salute😍
I just admire you Matt. Your channel is a daily stop for me.
I also didn't like blond guys when I was a teernager because my two brothers are both blond and I felt like it was kind of an incest...
Understandable
Wow... certain aspects of this I can relate. I definitely want to hear more.
People around me can't tell what my orientation is. lucky me?
I don't get this Biphobia in the LGBTQ+ community. My EX was bisexual and I didn't care that he was. We had a mutual attraction to each other and that was that!
You don't get it? Really?! That's an easy one...
First off, bi guys love to use their catchphrase: "In the future I see myself marrying a girl, having a family". As if it was only possible to be happy and having a family with a girl 🙄. So most gay guys don't even bother, I mean, we're not getting any younger here. And second, you'll always worry if they are sexually satisfied, it's not about cheating per se, it's about physical needs... Let's be honest, it's not easy to be gay in the world that we live in, dating bi guys only adds to it. We just don't want to make things harder on ourselves.
@@Rapha2587 That is just pitiful. Don't lay your insecurities and prejudices on bisexuals.
@@Rapha2587 this is why bi people can never come out, straights hate them or think they don't exist, and gays think they'll cheat or leave them. So amazing... 🙄 as if gay men don't the same to other gay men all the damn time lol
@@chs75 Nah, you just don't want to hear the truth. Bisexuals are always wondering why they are "excluded" from the community. Well, that's the reason! Mostly, they want us for sex, but in the end, they'll settle for a heteronormative life.
@@Rapha2587
Intro: Well let's unpack this and look at it another way.
Part 1: Anyone of any gender/sexuality can get cold feet and decide to break it off. Straight people get left at the alter after getting that deeply involved with someone who they thought loved them to death. The same goes for cheating and being sexually unsatisfied.
Part 2: There is a thing called sex therapy and sometimes this problem is one of the topics couples describe in their sessions.
Conclusion: The only true solution to these problems is trust, communication, and compromise.
If your relationship is failing in on of these areas if not all of them:
A. You shouldn't be with the person in the first place
B. You won't substain a healthy relationship balance
C. The relationship will ultimately fail regardless of orientation.
Reprisal: I'm not saying that there aren't bisexuals who aren't looking to start a nonheteronormative family. What I am saying is that we can't generalize a whole group of people. That's like straight people saying every gay man is into drag, is too sassy, and is feminine.
Finally: If someone gives you the red flag that the relationship is only temporary even as a joke. Then save yourself the trouble and set your boundaries by saying I respect myself to much to waste my time further with you.
Thanks. Yes, Same here.
I loved your message. Would love to talk to you.
I can relate to everything man
Interesting 🤔
Iam in the same situation as you
Are you going to continue on with this topic? I'd like to hear you expand on where you are now. I've always known I was gay. I knew that from out of the womb. I do remember pretending to be like other boys but I knew I was different, and I knew I needed to keep that a secret. What made it worse for me was that I thought I had to be like my twin brother (he's straight) but I wasn't. I really thought I was broken or something. Did you feel the same way with your twin? I'm curious to know what its like not being confident in your sexual orientation. Also - random thought - I grew up with other twins (as I know you did) - did you think there was a gay twin in other sets? I did for a bit. I knew this other set - Kevin and Keith, and I thought one of them must be like me. I never really got that answer though. Anyway - I'm looking forward to your fetish video - I remember you doing one quite some time ago (as you were figuring things out with the healthiness of your sexuality).
great story
💜💜
You’re like the same gaymer bro type as me lol. You play Xbox? I heard you say you had a streaming channel. I’m trying to find some friends to play a few games with once and a while. (If you want) I’m mainly on later and play Halo and other stuff. Gay 30s is creeping in on me too lol
I
Matt, some of what you went through with girls, so did I. The girls used to call me the kissing bug because I would chase them around trying to kiss them. A few years later I was noticing the boys that were getting biceps.
No worries. Its okay to be gay! Lets face it, some guys are very cute. Thankfully we live in a time where we can be open about our preferences. Your refreshing openess and integrity earned a sub 😊
U are good actually, u don’t pick on foods