Survivor Mary Knight: Abused In Rituals By My Parents (Exclusive Documentary)
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- Опубликовано: 23 авг 2022
- ATTENTION: THIS DOCUMENTARY INCLUDES CLOSED CAPTIONS. WITH CLOSED-CAPTIONS, DEAF OR HARD-OF-HEARING VIEWERS CAN FULLY "ENJOY" THIS IMPORTANT AND COMPELLING DOCUMENTARY. EVERYONE IS IMPORTANT TO US.
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EXCLUSIVE: In an on camera quest to find healing, satanic ritual abuse and familial sex trafficking survivor Mary Knight, MSW, speaks to Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of NYT best seller "The Body Keeps the Score." He responds w/ compassion and helpful advice.
In this 2022 expanded version of Knight's personal documentary, False Memory Syndrome Foundation leaders are questioned. The False Memory Syndrome Foundation was founded in 1992 for the purpose of convincing society that recovered memories are not true. Knight remembered her abuse in 1993, when she was in her 30's.
In this film, FMSF board member Dr. Elizabeth Loftus acknowledges that she was sexually abused at the age of six, and yet discounts the harm caused by child sexual abuse.
FMSF board member Dr. Loren Pankratz states, "No matter what happens to a child under the age of three, he won't remember and, therefore, won't be affected by it." Pankratz gives as an example a two-year-old boy seeing his parents being murdered.
The film follows Knight's healing journey and ends on a positive note. Please share and join the discussion. Don't forget to subscribe for more: bit.ly/2CwckC3
You may contact Mary Knight at:
maryknighthappy@yahoo.com
www.MaryKnightProductions.com
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Please donate to the project at: / realwomenrealstories
Follow us on LinkedIn: / real-women-real-stories 
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RECOMMENDED - CONTRALAND: A Shocking Documentary About Sex Trafficking In America (TW!)
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This was well done. I like the ending.
@@christinaheagy4602😊😊😊😊==33¾⁴³é⅗😂😂🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😂🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
When Marilyn said "If people are not going to believe 53 year old me, then who is going to believe a child?" I got full body chills.
Me too. Every time a rewatch my film. Love what she said!
Unfortunately survivors don’t get recognition unless they have so much evidence that you have to believe them. Unfortunately my mother was part of the abuse.
Unfortunately survivors don’t get recognition unless they have so much evidence that you have to believe them. Unfortunately my mother was part of the abuse.
@@dawnhock4545 I am so sorry Dawn. To have your Mother tied to the abuse must be a very difficult thing to process. Sending you love.
you're so right! very powerful!!!
I was sexually abused by my stepfather, I never told anyone until today. I felt that I had to protect my mom, now that she is gone I finally feel that I can tell. I know this isn’t the place but I feel anonymous so it is my time to say it out loud so to speak.
Happy you finagled felt safe enough to put it to words. Go you!
Any time, any place, is the right, when you feel safe and comfortable. Thank you for your courage and bravery, and sharing your story. I found when I went "public", I released my shame, and became free. Healing and loving blessings to you. 💙
I’m proud of you. ❤
Praying for your healing
I'm so sorry this happened to you, I'm glad you said something, my sister was molested also when she was little.may god bless you🙏🏼
Hearing that awful woman say s3xually touching a minor/family "isn't the worst thing ever" sent actually shivers down my spine. What an obviously guilty and horrible person. She clearly failed her own daughter and can't live with it, the was shes so overtly angry and defensive speaks for itself. Monster.
A big to do about nothing. How horrific
She’s really unbelievable.
Ohhh she was probably an abuser to say something so horrific. You do not touch children even if they are running around naked in front of you ,children do not know how to say no.
Did you see her body language? She tilted back as if she was afraid to hear what was obviously immoral, horrific and disgusting behavior and she didn’t want to identify with it.
Is there freedom for the abuser? Fred and 1:02:45 who have since passed away, had attempted to do a memory retrieval through prayer, ministry, and what they did was to allow the Holy Spirit to be part of that process so that person could go back to that place where they were just a little child. They were careful with these people because of triggering. They did not force them to go where they did not want to go in their memory. inevitably, they would relive the abuse and people were there to hug them and tell them it was not their fault. If they were feeling guilt, or they were feeling anger, they gave, them a place to express that, but then direct them to the Lord Jesus, who would always be there during the session, and they met. He said they would feel him putting his arms around him, and restoring their childhood. I’m sure they came under fire for such a controversial ministry, especially because of the False memory foundation, and others like that but they did a whole series on personality disorders, and how much of it comes from childhood sexual abuse Fred discovered he was abused by a German Maid when they were overseas. A former pedophile who was released from jail was on the stage with this couple-- They were doing a series on public speaking, and they showed pictures of children. Then he saw Fred‘s picture. The Littauers were asking the audience if they could tell what kind of personality the person had by their photo. he said later on he asked to speak to Fred.. he asked to speak to him privately. He said " I have something to tell you about that picture of you as a child. you were abused before that photo was taken.." he continued," I know what that looks like," very long story short you can read about their story in "wake up America".(men) and I think there’s a wake up America for women to Fred and Florence Littauer so they launched that ministry. their books are probably still available--and their daughter that worked with him is still alive I believe.
People don't want to face how widespread sexual abuse is in families, especially if these families are considered "pillars" of the community.
True.
I have to agree with you. It's 😢 sad!!!!
The world is run by sick twisted P🚪🚪s
More specifically the mother's don't want to face the reality of the situation.
@TheSopheom often times the mother was abused, too, and can't recognize the signs bc they have been normalized or won't recognize the signs bc it is too painful - ie can't/won't face reality
At 29:49 I was utterly astounded about Eleanor ranting and raving about children being sexually abused and how the abused child need to tell the people to stop and leave them alone. Are you kidding me? Blaming a child for being sexually abused? This is 1000% the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. And it not being a trauma to be touched sexually. Good grief.
Yes. Good grief!
There is a whole wide spectrum. I don't think every sexual touch NECESSARILY makes one traumatized. It depends on the person's makeup, the circumstances, cultural mores, etc.
she's obviously been abused and/or brainwashed herself
@@bryanm64 There are differences between individuals and cultures, but I believe that it is wrong for an adult to use a child for their own sexual pleasure.
Same! I was so furious with her attitude!!!
I was shocked hearing that woman say that a sexual touch from a family member isn't a big deal. And then she says it's the kids' responsibility to say something about it! That woman pissed me off!
yes
She is a Crank that wants to make money out of her Diatribe!
make you think if she asw3ell was involved and doesn't want to admit
an enabler
I definitely felt like she was trying to justify that it was OK to be touched inappropriately by a family member! As I listened to her I just felt total disbelief that she was actually saying those words. I agree with another here who said she was likely trying to justify it because she herself ignored and covered up that behaviour. No wonder children and adults find it so hard to come forward with atrocious people like her in this world!!
I'm so horrified by this documentary... all the people who defended, denied, deflected, and justified it😡 may all victims live long, happy, healthy, EMPOWERED lives!
YES---may all victims live long, happy, healthy, EMPOWERED lives!
Victims? Or abusers themselves.
I'm horrified by it also. It's so disturbing. I don't understand how people sleep at night, knowing what they've done to others.
@@maryknight4450 Mary ❤
Yes 👏
These “experts” protecting grown ups from facing consequences for abusing young kids are repulsive. I admire Mary for being able to remain calm and respectful towards those clowns when she was one of those kids who had suffered such abuse.
These older women (“experts”)minimizing sexual abuse make me seriously sick!!!! I cant believe she expects a child to he responsible for stopping her/his abuse!!! And she had the gull to say “we make a big deal of sexual touch!!”WTAF!!? 🤮🤮🤮🤮
Exactly.. when there's so many stories of children reporting abuse and them not being believed then they end up dead or in a really bad way. Experts my arse
I think both women were abused. Either they in turn a used themselves or allowed it...or they are in denial. They dinged my radar
when that woman with the red lipstick tried to invalidate mary by saying that when her father told her he was sexuaIIy attracted to her that “thats just something people joke about” and then saying SA is “not a big deal” and “if they’re already dead why does it matter” my JAW DROPPED. absolutely unacceptable thing to say to survivors
It seems the older woman in the fancy livingroom was accused of sexual abuse by her daughter. She was probably deflecting.
I know. So many wtf moments in this video. Defending this shit. Just unreal
I am so impressed by Marys ability to interview some of these people. I get triggered just by listening to them, I do not think I could have been able to stay that calm.
Thanks! It was hard to stay calm.
I had these same fellings.
Yes. Her demeanor is misleading. The more I watched the more I absolutely have the utmost respect. By staying calm and congenial it just showed how fricking deranged these people are
No kidding. Like what in the actual hell is wrong with these people?
@@maryknight4450 your an Angel. God bless you
If a child tells you they're being abused.... BELIEVE THEM. Children rarely, if ever make up things like that.
Right. You have to know about something to make it up and if children know about it they have learned it somewhere.
ang also please teach your children to be cautious and vigilant about those things. And know who and where ur child is. I was saved from a possible rape because I watch news about this kind of things. A family friend tried to lure me into his house with food and candies. The only thing is that he is saying it while his hands are on the middle part of my thigh- i couldnt react and i am a strong child, I can fight bullies because I know they are wrong, but at that moment I still dont know how to react, i chose not to react because i feel like if he knew that I know things will get worse. So I just made sure not to be around that person good thing after 1 year we left that neighborhood. I was 7 at that time.
That is so true
But they don't. Then it's a lifetime of people just not believing that person. It never actually stops.
Ohhh i would have agreed, if i didnt just discover the events of the "daycare sex abuse hysteria" during the 80s - 90s, wich basically are events of a bunch of false arrest of many Daycare people who most of them served years of time up until they got finally released and seen as innocent, because get this...most of those kids created Stories about being abused and being touched etc telling that to their Parents, wich got out and that started in one daycare and than in others and the Hysteria Began. Only around the late 90s, they figured out that Kids that are even to young to know stuff like that, lied about it, they made a test, where a Girl gets normal check up by a Doctor (filmed) and got questioned after, on what the Doctor did, the first day she was truthfull, than they repeated to ask her, the following day, and she claimed the doctor touched her Vagina even demonstrating on a doll.... a 4 or 5 years old kid. It really also depends what those Kids learn and see at home, and young mind is soo easy to influnce, Kids at that age are observative, so yeah befor knowing all that, i also was convinced that Kids would never lie when it comes to that...
The doctor at the end had it 100% right. Too many people work so hard protecting the predators because it's easier than admitting that such terrible acts are performed. It's not okay and I'm so glad that so many are stepping forward to acknowledge the trauma inflicted upon them and to work on healing.
I was thrilled that Dr. Van der Kolk agreed to be in my film!
YES! Most abusers are men, most men do the research, so the research is biased before it gets off the ground. Men rule, and men are not going to ever admit the truth. Women are trained from birth to obey, be nice and so are ripe for abuse of all levels. It's up to the women to put a stop to it. That would help men as well as women. In later years my stepfather was racked with guilt. He ruined my children's lives. Even forgiveness couldn't cure his guilt. Is it worth it? My mother was complicit. I suffer for them.
Truth!
My father has spent years denying abuse his daughters have endured from family. He blames us, invalidates our memories and experiences, and minimizes the behavior of the abusers. It's sad how often this happens. It seems to be a defense mechanism so they can avoid dealing with and taking responsibility for an awful reality.
Most abusers are men in powerful positions. Mine was a pilot. Do you think anyone cares or has ever believed me? No. Then these men leave a legacy behind of this amazing career, there's a halo effect.. no one wants to see them as anything but stellar.
Marilyn’s mom didn’t “believe” her at 48 because then she would have to take accountability for her role looking the other way, or allowing it, not protecting her. It’s horrible!!
agreed
Well Marilyn's mom can explain to the Lord how she turned her back on her children
@@rebekahvaldez2913 I agree!!!
Well said!
Exactly
I dont know how you got through these interviews without throat punching these so called experts that think a child doesnt remember at the age 2 and unde. I was abused and i remember very well. Not only remember but can smell certain smells or hear sounds that takes me right back to the awful memories.
Take care!
I absolutely 💯 agree. If these people were truly "experts" they would show a little more compassion. They would know our minds have an incredible way of subconsciously protecting us from these horrendous memories so we are able to get through life day by day without having to spend our lives hiding in a closet and self medicating with drugs and alcohol. These people digust me, and they are a perfect example of what is wrong with the mental health system in this country. God Bless 🙏
you spoke my mind. that old patriarch don’t know shit about babies or abuse
Exactly, my two year old grandson was raped by a babysitter and he suffered for many years and acted out sexually with dolls from that. These so called experts are probably trying to make excuses for their own behavior.
Really? You're saying you remember what happened to you before you were 2yrs old?????? Right.
“Did you know her?”
“We’ll no.. BUT we had ONE class together!” Like… that literally means NOTHING, you know nothing about this person and you say they lied about their mental health? Are you a psychopath?
I remember my stepdad "mistaking" me for my mom a couple times when I was younger... It's suspicious to me now that I'm grown. I just randomly remembered it one day clear as day and had completely forgotten it for over 20 years.
It was no mistake 🤬
Men are horrible creatures, 😢
It was not a mistake
I forgot the abortion I had at 16. I'm afraid I'm evil.
Duri g the procedure the doctors played a guns and roses instrumental. It brings it back. I was on alot of drugs. The doctors seemed kind but weird.
@@sheilaanderson8164xx
We the people need to come together and insist that RUclips lift their (very suspicious) ban on commenters using certain words, so that we can have open conversations with one another and bring awareness to this subject as well as subjects like trafficking, and put an end to this disgusting disturbing and horrific behavior.
Amen to that sweety. Everyone is afraid of sensitive subjects. Which is like pushing it to the back of the cupboard so no one will see it.
Just the fact that they forbid people to talk openly and speak of sex trafficking tells you everything you need to know.
True, it really gets on my nerves as the beeping out of words or whatever video makers do to conform, is really infantile and doesn't serve any purpose. I thought RUclips had got rid of the small children to its kids platform. It's about time they acted like adults.
I thought it was the creator that can ban certain words
@@AnneAndersonFoxiepaws they censor their words so they don't get demonitized. They can say the words but they'll lose money
Eleanor, you’re right. Fathers do not say they are sexually attracted to their daughters, unless they are. And it’s wrong. Most fathers never ever feel attracted to their daughters. That woman who said people say dumb things. She even said sexual touch is not a horror. Wow!
Yes. Eleanor said some really awful things.
Ikr?! I wanted to smack that woman tbh.
I believe it's cause she is also a pedophile and her career helps her stay stay there and helps others like her to continue. For all their so-called education, they use it for evil, therefore it's all I disguise to do harm to other's, especially children. 🤮
@@fritzsmith3296 Why does yours say it? Because most dads do not talk like that.
@@fritzsmith3296 You are an idiot!
I’m genuinely so shocked that the women “experts” were the ones claiming you can’t have repressed memories of extreme trauma like that. sickening.
Horrible right! Abusers aren't just men. They can be women too, even old women.
@@trayseebee6413 oh for sure! abusers can be anyone unfortunately
Mary is filled with so much compassion. She is a true example of resilience.
Thanks! Please read my memoir, My Life Now: Essays by a Child Sex Trafficking Survivor
@@maryknight4450 Mary, I love your work and your documentary brought me to tears near the end. God bless you. I am so happy that we both have a savior we can call on in our most time of need. God bless you and your beautiful family!
I was abused, as a child, and never forgot about it, but I _did_ forget that my mother knew about it. Over 40 years later, I had an especially long bout of insomnia; but _right_ before finally falling asleep, I remembered EVERYTHING. Then, I remembered why I forgot, in the first place. Forgetting sure is handy, sometimes...
I am so sorry that happened to you. Take care!
The betrayal by your mother is very hard to acknowledge/remember as an adult. Proud of you sharing your experience❤
@@jenrich111 Yes!
Would you mind sharing why you forgot in the 1st place.. was it to just to survive and receive love and care from your mom? I forgot many things over many early years just to cope with living such a abusive life full of child sex trafficking for my sis and myself. Familial generational abuse.
@@jenrich111
Forgetting is coping. My brain found a way to cope.
My earliest memories of my father was him sexually abusing me. My earliest memory of my mother was her trying to drown me...she water boarded me. Years later in therapy, I finally realized why my big brother, my only sibling, was so cruel to me, why couldn't they stop it? Then I realized he was taking his cues from them, that *this* is how we treat this little girl...
They threw me into the street when I was 15 and began to fight back. I'm lucky to be alive. They absolutely wanted to destroy me. I had 3 dogs when I was a child. My father shot them...to hurt me. They were so sadistic. So evil.
I am so very sorry that happened to you.
🕊💜🕊
🕊💜🕊
I'm very sorry. Good for you for making it out of that insane cruelty. It beggars belief that people can be so cruel to someone they are supposed to protect and care for. No child should have to endure what you did. Sending love and healing to you.
Oh my Lord so sorry that happened to you God bless you 🙏
I was also abused as a child (4-6 years old) by the husband of our babysitter. I had no memories of it until I was at university when I was looking through the archaeology section in the library and came across a book on the Bog People burials of over 2,000 years ago. (The oldest one found so far is 8,000 BCE.) It was very interesting and it spoke of the extremely well preserved bodies found in peat bogs in The Netherlands, Germany, Ireland, United Kingdom and Denmark, with everything preserved by the acid in the bog - clothes, rope round some of their necks (they are possibly thought to be executions or sacrifices), skin, hair, eyelashes and stubble on the men. Suddenly I came upon a very famous cadaver, known as Tollund Man and the photo gave me the instant shudders and made me feel sick. I shut the book immediately. When I next went home on a visit I took a photocopy of Tollund Man with me and explained to my mother that it gave me heeby-jeebies, plus I'd been having the same nightmare repeatedly ever since I saw the photo, in which I was standing in a dark room, and to my left was an armchair with a man sitting in it. He was holding me by my left wrist and I knew I had to keep silent and stay still. Suddenly the door was opened and the light from the passageway shone into the room as far as the foot of the chair, silouetting my mother against the light, and all the time I was saying "Oh, please. Please. Please. Please. Please" over and over in my mind, and I was filled with fear and desperation. Anyway, when I described this to my mother and showed her the photocopy she looked hard at it and then said "How interesting. I didn't think you remembered." It turned out that Tollund Man was the spitting image of the babysitter's husband, who my mother had caught abusing me. My parents had a sit down meeting with the babysitter and eventually they agreed that they wouldn't report him to the police because he was unemployed and the only money coming in was from the babysitter, and if he was arrested she wouldn't be able to work. Also they agreed she would continue to be employed by my parents but he was not allowed across the threshold ever again. So basically my parents put the babysitter and her husband's welfare before mine, and, it turned out, my younger sister's as well (which I only found out from her last year) who would have been 2-4 years old while the abuse was going on. Not surprisingly I have had low self esteem as long as I can remember, and my sister has been confrontational with men/authority figures. I am 65 and she is 63 and it still casts a shadow in our lives, despite both of us knowing where the problem originated.
This brought me to tears. You and your sister are such strong women. You should have been protected. I understand and can relate.
So sad for you and your sister. I tell more about myself in my memoir, My Life Now: Essays by a Child Sex Trafficking Survivor
💔
That’s disgraceful. I’m so sorry your parents let you down
My biological father passed away when I had just turned 2. I remember distinctly being at the funeral and seeing my mother wailing and grabbing at his coffin while being held back by some of my uncles.
That man who claims that children do not remember things as young children is a disgusting human being and I cannot help but think that he has and supports being abusive to children, because “they won’t remember and it won’t hurt them”
That dude for sure hurts kids
The body keeps the score and even if you don't remember it you can have lifelong effects of early childhood abuse
I remember walking for the first time
It's in the Talmud that it's legal by their laws
My mom passed away when I was only 4 years old , 1984 , I will always remember the red old golf volgwagen that was outside, even the smell of the flowers at her funeral ,I remembered my sister fell off from a car crying of shock ,its not easy , God bless you all.
I'm a survivor of sexual abuse as a child by a man who was my babysitter. He groomed me from age four and gradually did more and more to me until age 11. I've done my best to protect my daughters. Thank you for being strong and making this film. Molesters count on children to keep their secrets. I wish I would have said something while he was still alive.
I'm so sorry that happened to you.
Have to protect boys as much if not more.
@@FM19MONTH as much that’s for sure
" a child under 2 wont remember anything", could be a common misconception. I remember being bathed by Mum in an enamel bowl on the kitchen bench, watching my older siblings running about outside. Mum said I had outgrown the bowl by 6months !! Every human is different !!
True. I remember more when I was 3,4,5 then I can from being 6,7,8. I'm 40 and I remember my teens year for year and can't remember my 20s and 30s much at all
@@john-jimMilton13 exact same with me 💯. I'm 42. I couldn't have said that any better
The earliest memories I have are around a year. Furthermore emotionally abused infants tend grow up with serious problems. Also, there have been multiple cases with 2 yr olds and younger kids seeing their parent(s) killed who vividly remember the crime and have even told the police who the perpetrator is. Pankratz sounds like a pedophile and in denial.
It’s more so the fact that they remember or not is irrelevant. A rape victim at age 29 might not remember the rape because she was drugged, doesn’t change the fact that’s it’s extremely fucked up
agreed! I have many memories of soon after I was born & many vivid, photographic memories before the age of three. I also have solid proof because my family moved to a different state when I was three. although I haven't been in the house I lived in since I was 3, I can draw/paint photographic images of every room & the furniture & objects in every room & many activities & memories of my family while we lived there. We don't have photos of the inside of that house, so I actually went back to the house as an adult and corroborated the crystal clear memories I had as a baby & found I remembered 100%.
That old lady sexual predator sympathizer and victim blamer should NEVER be around people of trauma. Ever.
What an jaw dropping documentary. Every person you interviewed on the opposing side had such stiff or defensive body language. I’m so happy you held on to your truth and followed it. Amazingly inspirational!!!
It's truly disheartening that survivors are looked at as liars. By the very ppl who knowingly turn a cheek. Or were supposed to protect us. Thank you for this Mrs.Knight. I found my voice and will use it.💛
I'm so glad you found your voice! Thanks for the comment. Feel free to email me.
A family friend tried to drown me when I was little. The memory has been rising lately. Marilyn's words about middle age being the time of healing were so helpful to me.
good. i'm so glad I could include Marilyn
Holy crap!!!Are they still alive?
@@susancucuz8987 I am unsure, I lost track of the family decades ago.
My father tried to drown me at seven then eleven that therapist was a ass. The world is full people like that unbelievers patternising bastards as a victim I would eat them up spite them out
@@valdirmeretchaikovsky155 Thanks for sharing your experience. Take care!
Dr. Loren Pankratz should have his license taken away from him. Thank you, Mary, for this entire documentary.
He really should, he had an interview where he was talking about how nun abuse stories are fraud and promote an anti-Catholic agenda.
I was abused as a child by my maternal family side.. from the ages of 3-13. My mother sold me to her father and his buddies for cases of beer😞. Her story is her truth.. why are they arguing about someone else's abuse story?? It's not your place to try to debunk someone's traumatic abusive childhood..
I am so sorry you experienced all that!
@@maryknight4450 it's still a battle I deal with 22 years later.. I've healed a lot of my past but it's hard to let go of something that literally leaves a stain on your life..
I hope you had your story validated by experts and found justice. But, there are people who lie and make up stories too and innocent peoples lives have been ruined. That is why it has to be verified. And once it is, the injustice is doing little to nothing for the victim.
Lulu, I'm so very sorry this happened to you and that those who are suppose to love and protect you betrayed you. You deserved and still deserve to be loved and cherished.
@@RLF1 idk why someone would make something so traumatizing!?. But I don't need my story validated for it to be true.. my truth is just that MY truth. Pretty rude of you to comment something so ignorant! So back tf off on throwing your negative vibes where they don't belong
I am shocked and disgusted at the mental gymnastics these two skeptical woman have achieved in order to deny Mary's trauma happened. Surely there is a special karma waiting for women who dissuade, deny, and disbelieve other women in this way. I shudder to think what happened to any children who came to those two women for help, especially the one who blames children for making too much fuss over a father making those comments and actions toward his daughter. She's as much of a monster as Mary's parents.
Thanks for your compassion toward children and survivors.
@Giggles: Elizabeth Loftus is a protector for "them." She has see eye aye connections. She's a vicious old hag.
Mental gymnastics it is 😂 they have 0 knowledge 0 science 0 anything jesus christ
💯💯💯
They are both enablers & would tell their male clients that the behavior was okay due to the young age. She helped groom every child that was abused. 😡
When I spoke up 30 years after the abuse the abuser said nothing but my siblings attacked me and banished me from the family if I refused to retract. It is so good to be free
❤ im glad youre doing better, im in that situation myself i dont think ill be able to discuss this with my family
Stay no contact.
You dodged a bullet.
They're toxic and you deserve better
I'm a survivor of child trafficking and I relate so much to this. I'm still remembering and it's one of the hardest things you can do, remember. I haven't undergone hypnosis, I'm in therapy and every time I think I've dealt with the worst, more comes back. It's a long and very painful process. I have hope though, one day I'll remember and deal with it all and be able to live a somewhat normal life. I'm 37 too. If you think you've been through abuse, please explore it to make sure you're not living half a life and making all the wrong choices because you've repressed what happened to you. The journey to freedom is so so difficult but it's worth it when you start getting moments of feeling your whole self, little snippets of true freedom. It's worth the pain of remembering.
I agree---The journey to freedom is so so difficult but it's worth it. I'm sorry that happened to you. Feel free to email me if you want to.
@@maryknight4450 thank you, I hope that you're in a good place now and are thriving 💖
Hi Vanessa I am wondering if you know of any hypnosis therapist that I could get in contact with for my own healing please?
I’m 60 years old and just now coming to terms with the amount of sexual abuse that was in my early life, I still put the onus on me, it is only in watching my grandkids at the same age and thinking .that’s how young I was, that I’ve been able to start to feel anger.
Same
Mary Knight you're so very brave to even face all this skepticism in the outer world.
What a wonderful comment! Thanks!
Mary was really strong and calm when talking with “Doctor” Loftus
Thanks
Lifts is a school for pedophilia
Ikr i would have gotten aggressive in the first 5 seconds 😅
It's incredible the emotional weight and power that the words "mom" and "dad" possess. In my own journey I kept questioning "why," how could my mom do the horrible things she did. I couldn't get past that. Until one day I let go of the word "mom" and started referring to her by her first name. Suddenly I was able to honestly, without all of the 'mom" emotional attachment, look at and deal with all of the past abuse and this enablede me to finally move on and heal. My aunt and my grandma were my mom. Just because she gave birth to me, she did not deserve the title so I took it away from her. The moment that I did, an unbelievable weight was lifted off of me, it was incredible.
I really appreciate you saying this. I hadn’t thought of it this way before
28:25 this actually is making me so angry. This “expert” obviously has some issues she needs to sort out. To think it’s okay for a parent to tell their child they’re sexually attracted to them?! Jesus. And to say that to a survivor? I can’t imagine as a survivor of rape myself talking to someone like this and keeping composure. Big props to Mary for keeping calm, i can understand how hard it must’ve been.
I completely understand losing memories of childhood abuse. I repressed memories of being molested and assaulted as well as seeing acts of violence done to others. I didn't start to remember all of that until I was in my 30s but I never retrieved them through therapy. They began to come back little by little depending on something I watched on TV or talked to someone who had seen what I saw or even witnessed me being attacked. I didn't even bother with therapy until last year going through trauma therapy because I realized I was molested by more than one person but by different men in different incidents. It got to be a bit too much so I felt I needed guidance to help my organize what I did remember and what I'm currently dealing with. That's why I'm a bit confused as to why the psychologist needs to believe Mary about her abuse. She doesn't need to believe anything for herself. If her patient were to say that the sky is red, when the doctor sees blue, it's her job to determine why the patient sees red not to prove or disprove what her patient thinks. Her language seems less clinician and more litigious. It's rather unprofessional even though I know she's not actually treating Mary, I don't think anyone should be treated by a therapist who comes into a session ready to disprove a patient. If you've never been abused before, you will never understand what it feels like to live through it and remember. For a "professional" to think people were never abused because you weren't or don't believe in repressed memory is absolutely unconscionable. It's sad really, especially if they're still working and treating people.
I'm glad you got help when you needed it. Most counselors do believe us!
@@maryknight4450 Thank you. I always say I'm still a work in progress even at 43 yo because there are still more repressed memories but I leave that to my mind will release that when I'm ready to handle it. Unfortunately, I only had one good therapist but it was a temporary treatment. Due to the nature of abuse I went through, I've run out of resources here as not many deal with trauma therapy. So, I've had numerous health problems that I have decided to put aside therapy to deal with those. But watching your story and others similar, it's helps mentally to know that what I went through and how I dealt with it as a child, suicide attempts/self-harm, that I wasn't crazy or abnormal. That was me struggling to deal with the psychological damage of the abuse even though I didn't have the memory of it. It still left a mark and I didn't understand why it did so I couldn't handle it all at 9 yo and forward until I was 18 which was the last incident of self-harm. I always thought I was bad and screwed up for doing that to myself until I realize, no, I was not the only one. It relieves a sort of pressure to know that I guess. Thank you for sharing this. I know I appreciate it.
@@JustTanya. ❤
@@JustTanya. ❤
@@JustTanya. Blessings to you! Take care!
Oh my gosh...how sad to see so many people in these professions be absolutely horrid and wrong...I was molested at 9 by a neighbor...I have never forgotten this nor have I blamed myself...I egged that man's house when I was in my teens...and later in my adulthood have neighbors that still live there and said yes...kids were told to stay away from that house....I am so sorry this happened to you...and no you are not crazy...you have a wonderful husband that supports you....thank you for this Documentary...it was hard to watch...but I am so glad I did...God Bless...❤️🦋🙏
I agree with you, there were some horrid professionals and they should not be practicing at all. I am sorry that any child had to go through this, I did too and I told my mother until I was in my mid 20's and she still has not said she is sorry of what her brother put me through. But I am doing well and I am glad that God has healed me from the trauma.
The horrible thing is that in university as a psychology student I'm being taught that there is no such thing as recovered memories. It's genuinely terrifying that this is the scientific consensus.
It should be at least presented as a controversial topic. Which it is in the psychology community. It's very complicated and has lots of nuance. Such a shame
The "scientific" consensus is about pleasing big pharma and have everyone hooked to anti-depressants and the like, there's no real science to it, it's just politics
Look at where psychiatry and psychology evolved from. It's barbaric, from It's begining. Then look up the ancient Greek meaning of the word #Pharmakeia 😮 Poisons, potions (prescriptions??😮),toxins, trickery, manipulation; SORCERY!??? Words are deeper than most realize.
Knowing is cool, but frightening at first.❤
Thank you for verifying what is being taught. Repressed and false memories.
@@janealace it's shocking how perpetrators are being protected. It's no coincidence that recently on German television there was a very famous show host who spoke about "satanic panic" and defamed a very famous German trauma therapist who works mainly with survivors with severe DID from organized structural abuse and consciously induced DID (her name is Michaela Huber). They're fighting back the awareness that is starting to emerge since victims are beginning to speak out... But we ain't going nowhere! Standing strong together ❤️🩹
Shame on the so called counselor. I remember all the abusers in my life. It happens! I’m sick and tired of the doubters. Some abuse is so horrific they do repress those memories. Give them a break.
True. Very true.
I remembered hiding in closets, under oil tanks, and in crawl spaces to not be found and abused. I screamed myself to sleep everynight
I too was one to hide in closets, jump out windows, found peace in crawl spaces, drainage pipes, up a tree... l knew how to hide and how to escape! At 66 I call myself a survivor. The emotional pain was the worse for me. My heart could not comprehend how people hurt one another. Now I live in love, not fear.
My heart goes out to both of you Michelle and Janet
This just rips my heart out, I am so so sorry. You did not ever deserve this. Whoever did this to you, will have their day. And may God help them. I feel such a tender heart for you. I pray for all the abused children. My 42 yr old niece just told me my younger brother, her uncle abused, molested, assaulted her at the age of 7. And I believe her. It has torn my heart out.
Sending ❤❤❤❤❤
@@almaconnor9171 So sad.
The way she described the baby /caregiver dynamic is so eye opening. Absolutely horrific. Humans are very neglectful and abusive it’s just so bad.
Agreed
I was abused as a child and into my teenage years so never forgot it. But there are moments that trigger “new”, aka recovered) memories. The amount of gaslighting in this is just so sad…
Gas lighting. Could not have put it better.
Thank you for doing this documentary. Those of us who have been through it are continually being discouraged from talking about it. Abandoned and made to feel crazy and inherently evil somehow. But when you learn to heal and love yourself overtime there’s nothing that others can say or do to hurt you anymore.
This 'foundation against false memories' is actually another chapter of this same cult. They have limbs in media, police, judiciary. All of these people are complicit for a cover up. Its more organized than not. Their network is very powerful in politics and media.
agreed
The gaslighting is real.
Wheat husk is SO very right!!!
Exactly
Accusations of 'False memories' is used by perpetrators. But, authorities should ask why siblings have the exact same memories. They didn't sit down to conjure up some story of abuse. Most kids want a happy childhood.
I thought I was crazy about deeper molestation thoughts. It wasn't until I was 50 that it came out without me realizing it was true. I was innocently praying for God to heal me about physical abuse when the molestation visuals appeared and I cried and screamed for 6 hours. My prayer partner happened to be on the phone with me. It was shocking and I asked the Lord not to show me anymore. But all this explains why I have a desire to be with men who only wanted me for sexual relations and not an emotional healthy one. Hugs to you my new friend and to all the other men and women who may see your video!
And hugs to you, my new friend!
After reading these comments I'm thinking there is no God and if there is he certainly doesn't care
I’ve been diagnosed with DID from repeat incest SA. I blocked it out for a long long time. I’m still discovering more memories and have come to the realization that it went on much longer than I thought. I feel so much
56:56 "child under two really doesn't have any memories." That is outrageous. I have a crystal clear set of memories when I was younger than two. My mother was very ill, hospitalized, my father had to work, my sisters were in school, and I was taken care of by an aunt. I remember several things, one being asking her who will now wash me when I use the bathroom, and who will feed me. My understanding of how uncertain my life just became with a primary caregiver gone was incredibly clear. There was another memory. I told them to my family as an adult, and we did the fact-checking. I remembered details no one would think a child can still see so many years later: objects, houses, colors, clothes, animals (not pets)... I believe I remembered everything with such clarity because it was so traumatizing for me to lose my mother.
There were more memories from that time. But it is outrageous to say that these are lies, created from other peoples suggestions, inaccurate or that children can't remember anything. None of that was the case.
It tells me that he doesn't know what he's talking about and is biased .
No one can make point blank statements based on age and be believed.
I was abused almost daily as a child ... My daddy found out about it when I was 13 . The abuse ended when I was 11 ..
When my daddy found out he told me to forget about it .. He said you don't talk about it to anyone and you don't think about it...
My daddy was a good daddy but I had a healthy fear of him ..
When my daddy said for you to do or not to do believe me you did what he said ...
My daddy had a gray box and I found a letter that I had written I was 13 or so ... this was after he died . It was in an envelope it had my name on it so I opened it .
I read it and I remembered everything!!!!! I was 32 ...
You can't say that repress memories aren't real ... I forgot for 18 years and the day I remembered was the start of me getting heald .
I'm 60 now I'm never going to be good I have my days and once trauma comes it it dosent ever leave ...
I did confront him a year ago and I told his wife .. They have grandchildren... I had to make sure ...
I took his power and got most if mine back that day ....
Don't judge nobody knows what is hidden under someone else's bed ...
Good for you for telling! You may have saved other children.
@@maryknight4450 I hope so ... I wish I had told back then .
Would have saved his younger brother ... my sister and idk who else ...
He's on notice now ... And I will be thare in court if and when he gets caught !!!!!
@@lorrainehilgendorf2165 You are doing everything you can now, and that's what matters.
False memory theory was thrown in my face by my mother who couldn't handle her own guilt.
I'ms so sorry that happened to you, both as a child and being disbelieved as an adult. Take care!
Exactly…, “Oh, it wasn’t that bad.” Really, you were at work so how would you know.
Denial is strong
@@OldJoeBlows this fkin sad im so sorry those words hurt so much
@@mattmathematics3591 thank you. Really, thank you. She's never apologized for that and she probably never will. You brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for caring.
Mary's face while looney toons Pankatz, were perfection. I love that she was able to keep her composure, but it was written all over her face that she though that man was insane!
Excellent documentary.
Everything he said on this makes me sick. I live in Portland and it gives me the creeps that he’s in my city 😳
This is one of the best documentaries out there. No incipient soundtrack obfuscating the fact there's no substance. Excellent interviews, excellent juxtapositions, serious content, important information. Not overly slick, just outstanding research and presentation.
Mary Knight is an inspiration on every level. Talk about resilience. I rarely call someone brave but she is the epitome of bravery.
I'm 68 and I'm still remembering details of abuse and I know it's true.
Take care
Thank you for validating those who need to hear this.
@@andreabobbette825 Survivors who speak out do validate survivors who are not yet ready to do so.
The body keeps the score is an incredible book.
yes
Agreed and waking the tiger
She has such a gentle spirit. She is incredible & her family members who survived too. Brave to speak about it, let alone to the people who doubt her.
I just watched this and I want to say thank you, I wasn't sexually abused but physically as an adult, there is so much of my life that I don't remember. I blocked it out or drank myself to oblivion for as long as I can remember. Please keep up the great work, I hope I can see more.
Thanks! You might like to read more about the recovery tools I used. My memoir, My Life Now: Essays by a Child Sex Trafficking Survivor
So glad I watched this. I don't think I've watched any documentary on this subject with so much intent and interest before as I have with this. As a survivor myself I can really appreciate so much of what was shared and spoken to. Thank you so much for uploading this, I feel it will really help many people.
Thanks! And you have the same name as my sister did.
@@maryknight4450 I was very moved by your connection with her. Losing her at such a young age but not losing her in your heart.
How sickening one parent was a physician and their motto is "do NO harm" . Just unreal. Abusers automatically think that they won't be discovered, since who would believe a small child.
The way she responded to Dr. Loren's "theory" was so accurate!! She felt like I did and I lived her reaction!! It made me cry and I was surprised at just how strongly I felt about his words and how strongly I believe that he definitely targeted and targets babies all under age 2!! And I can't help but feel terrified for anyone living with infants in his area especially anyone who gets mistakenly referred to him for help in anyway and he should have she his title and certifications revoked!!! 🤮He's Awful!!😭
What a coincidence I found this video…Mary I worked with you recently and I am so inspired by you. You are a great artist and an extremely compassionate leader. Thank you so much for all of these insights that you learned so painstakingly. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to tell a tiny part of my story to tell a story that is huge and important and must be told. You might not remember me but still !
Thanks! I can't remember you without more context. Feel free to email me.
Omg I’m so sorry that people like this exist- they are equally evil as those who are doing the physical abuse - this is so confronting and I commend your ability to calmly and diplomatically speak to these putrid “professionals” I am utterly gobsmacked at the responses they give- and for the record I have vivid memories back to before I had learned to walk… I hope your bravery in making this film can open some peoples eyes to these terrible thing xxx
Thanks Tanya!
The doctors aren't saying they dont believe she was abused cuz all the signs r there the point of this is to determine someone who's sexual abused can be so traumatized it can cause a form of amnesia so they can cope . They need proof she can't remember
They ARE the ones doing the physical abuse.
Such enormous courage from the women and men speaking out. You are extremely courageous.
THANK YOU!!!
@@maryknight4450Mary you are such a trooper, and a hero for making this documentary.
Mary, thank you so much for speaking out and the help that will bring other survivors. I'm 43 and still dealing with the PTSD of what happened to me between the ages of 2-6. My story alone proves the "experts" in this video don't have a clue what they're talking about. My brain may not remember everything, but MY BODY NEVER FORGOT. The "experts" should consider themselves lucky they will never have to experience what I went through. I am utterly disgusted with these "experts".
I see in Mary such emotional intelligence, internal beauty and outward love. It is a reflection on her sure, but I wonder whether it is also a reflection on any good parenting she may have received from her parents when she was not being abused. It’s a shame that otherwise good people; their skills and other gifts they have to offer can find compatibility with something so horrendous as what she had to endure. But what she had to endure is a deal breaker. I learned so much from this. It is the best, most important documentary. Mary, you are such an inspiration for us all to never stop looking for the beauty in this life.
I have watched Mary's movie several times and every time I watch it, I gain something new. This is a real masterpiece, the interviews, her self awareness, her willingness to share her thought process are so helpful for survivors. Today I noticed Mary's empowered realization that she is an authority on her own life and that is enough! Other people don't need to agree or believe her because she knows the truth. Thank you for sharing!
Yes!!!
What is the name of Mary’s movie..?
I agree , I feel like people are trying to make this the norm . They are calling pedophile’s MAPs which stands for minor attracted person. I believe that anyone who is involved or supports this behavior is demon infected.
@@artfromtheheart6844 This is the film she is referring to. This documentary.
Lady no one wants to make up abusive situations as a child….remembering things are very scary and painful and the world does not need skeptics like you to doubt the unfortunate memories! I am a victim of remembering horrific abuse sexually and physically! I also called my step sister when I began remembering things…I thought they were horrible dreams so as I told her about this horrible dream she said no that is not a dream it really happened!
Fkin thank you why would ppl do this
Yup! She's so caught up with her credentials and status. It sucks that there's people like her that can persuade people to not believe victims of abuse just because she did her "research"
@@ubepandecoco But what are her credentials? She seems to have none. ( I am talking about the one who thinks it's false memories. )
@@jjohnsengraciesmom She unfortunately does. She has gone to "prestigious" schools and spent a lot of time studying memories/psychology. Also provides insight in court. Her whole career is filled with her work on false/memories and psychology.
Mary, you are such a courageous woman to have survived, coped, and shared your healing journey so eloquently. Your documentary here will serve to give comfort to so very many people. God bless you, I am glad that you are living your best life now! ♥
Thank you!
Amazing testimony. Horrible yet amazing. This too has been something I’ve embarked on about my family. My sister suffered the most. God be with my sister
Yes. God be with your sister, and with you!
@@maryknight4450 thank u so much Ms Mary your such an inspiration. I’d love the opportunity to tell my story it’s definitely something that most people don’t survive. I’m no longer trying to figure everything out just being happy and letting God reveal to me what he wants me to know. There is so many layers to what my kids and I been through I’d never imagined my story was similar to yours until I’d be rescued by a US Marine and then go to where I remember it all began for me 35 years later and then so much was revealed to me and memories flooded my mind. Now I’m at peace no longer seeking answers and just trying to pick up the pieces of my life that’s left of me. Your a amazing strong woman and I love you
@@BlessedandFavored333 I hope you get a chance to tell your story publicly! I was so motivated to tell mine that I became a filmmaker, but I've stopped making films now b/c of the expense. I wrote a memoir, which cost less money than making a film. I wrote an essay about my creative journey, The Magic of Creativity. Its in my memoir.
@@maryknight4450 thank u so much it’s definitely been a unique journey and a very hard one yet I’m thankful for every experience that can help someone else
This is very healing for us all to see. Truth lives on as we get older. So painful to watch the memory deniers reenact the trauma.
When the one lady said the family should still be together after sexual abuse happened and some people make a big deal out of nothing and it could've been the parent just playing around.I've never wished more that I hadn't heard those words and the individual that said it. It's..just I can't find the words that I'm feeling towards this woman and I LOVE PEOPLE!! Hate bad behavior but LOVE PEOPLE..That womans words would be something the devil himself would say!! And I do hate the devil
I agree. It was so upsetting for me to hear her say "big to do about nothing."
These people are out and proud. All of this is on purpose. Grooming an entire country .
I honestly feel a bunch of these false memory proponents are pedophiles
Yes. Maybe she worships the devil 👿....she probably does.
I honest wanted to punch her😅
Scar tissue inside is one way to know if memories are true or not. My friend was raped by her dad from the age of 5 (her mom abused her too) and as an adult, when she went to a doctor for uterine cancer he asked if she had been raped as a child or started having sex very young due to all the scar tissue inside her. So much scarring that she was unable to ever have children. She didn't have a recollection of this but b later on recalled it through hypnosis. She thought she was making it up with the first hypnotherapist and then she saw my mom and even more memories came up. So, the scar tissue was proof her memories aren't false. She went onto write a short book about it.
I also had scar tissue, which I was aware of prior to the time my memories surfaced. I've had treatment by a pelvic floor physical therapist and it helped me a lot.
@@maryknight4450 I'm sorry for your pain! I'm glad you have done so much healing!!!
I wonder if they can tell how deep scare tissue is with ultrasound or something
@memme9894 my friend had cancer so they found the scar tissue then. Nor sure what method they used to discover it. She wrote a book but that part isn't detailed in it.
Hi darladawn I seen your comment and I wanted to ask if you knew of. A hypnotherapist that I could see as I want to uncover my memory’s
Amazing women speaking up ❤. Shame on those so called professionals working for the wicked.
Great documentary ❤
I think we’re discovering that SA of children is much more common than anyone acknowledged in the past. And it’s mortifying. I don’t understand blaming or ignoring the child when they hear about it.
Hi Mary, You are such a brave woman, I so admire you💕
thanks!
@@Sheseasyouthere Thanks!
Yes I am so sick due to my childhood trauma and I’m working on acknowledging, accepting, and forgiving wat has happened to me. I need this because if I don’t I find myself tightening up and there goes my fibromyalgia. 😢I hav RA and Blood clots too, all this plus depression. No one seems to care or want to understand.. Thnk u for sharing ur story.. I hear u I’m supporting you ❤
Thanks Brenda
@@maryknight4450 ❤🙏
Yes, autoimmune issues plague incest survivors/child sex trafficking survivors. It was never your fault. Forgive yourself and love yourself fiercely now. I totally understand autoimmune disorders ❤Be kind with yourself
@@jenrich111 !❤🙏
@@lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285 ❤🙏
I cannot believe what I am hearing. People justifying and minimizing abuse.
That woman keeps saying "I don't know. We would need to know a lot more." Then you clearly don't have enough information to claim they are false memories and the abuse didn't happen.
Real monsters do live in our society. We as parents have to listen to our children and pay attention. And most importantly protect them and give love. These ladies are so brave and it hurts my heart for what they had to go through.
LOVE LOVE LOVE Mary Knight's courage, leadership, transparency & spirit! thank you for being our hero & through your story, allowing all of us to find a path to healing.
I blocked what happened to me completely for many many years & only began remembering through dreams when I was married, more than a decade later. I realize now that my 'brain' might have felt like I was finally in a 'safe place' to begin remembering. Remembering & talking about what I survived was the most healing process I've ever gone through & explained a lot (to myself) about myself, allowing me to live a healthier live as an adult. There were people who demeaned me, disbelieved me when I shared the truth & people who believed me and I could 'feel' that they believed me. It was cathartic to have people who believed in me, but I could only 100% move forward in the healing process when I realized that I needed to honor and cherish my own beliefs - what I KNOW to be true, no matter what others thought. I don't need other people's 'validation' now, but it took years for me to go through that process.
Thank you Mary for creating this powerful, clear and supportive video that helps me even more in my path towards valuing myself & finding joy for & within myself. I wish there were more people like you on this earth!
Thank you! Reading this comment brings tears to my eyes.
That lady who wrote 3 books (I forgot her name ) is insane. Actually most of those people that were interviewed here are crazy . That guy didn’t even catch the sarcasm when she mentioned the “babysitter for her sons’s kids”. Sickening .
Thank you for making this Mary. You have given so many people a voice. Others who were doubting their own minds now may find some peace and healing.
THANKS. Email me if you want to.
Why I ask would a victim lie? A little truth remembered... then a whole story appears. A crime ignored is a crime in itself.
good point
A lot of wives don’t want to believe that a husband that she thinks she knows well is doing something so terrible, so she goes into a denial of reality.
I feel so sorry for kids that don’t feel safe to talk.
It makes me sick to see that our society is allowing kids to be grooming in our school system and there is a narrative starting that says pedophilia is normal and don’t cause trauma.
I know one case that the abuser said that the kid liked it.
We have to protect our children.
May God help many others to come out exposing the abuser and telling about the traumas.
🧡🙏🏼🧡
Thanks for your comment.
I think a lot of abusers justify it to themselves that way even when objectively there is a terrified child. They are delusional and trying to shift blame.
Totally agree 100%.
I think also that back in the 50s the men were the providers and women were very dependent, so the wife's / mother's prob went into denial for fear of change in the marriage and fear around security and society shame .
None of this is acceptable but prob a big part in mother's in denial .
I meant to click a different video, by the time I figured it out I was on a journey. Thank you so much for making this, thank you so much for asking all the hard questions, for doing the work you do. I think you may have changed my life today Mary.
Here's another thing, one of my recovered memories I recognized the look of dissociation on my abuser's face.
We must stop this family chain of defiling our children s lives! I never connected my abuse with my ieces abuse from my dad who was her step grandpa.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for being courageous enough to make this and share it with the world. Your courage feeds my healing journey as I hope to inspire others, as you have done. We healers have much work to do ❤️
Your comment makes me smile! Thanks!
This was an amazing watch. Beautiful put together and obvious it came from a place of deep hurt that grew to be love. I thank you for making this.
I had a complete breakdown at 51 with memories that came flooding in and while i was in the hospital my wife of 31 years packed up and left me. I now keep everything to myself . Thank you for doing this documentary, you're one strong and brave individual!🙏
I, as a child survivor, appreciate that you have a voice to help others not feel alone. When these memories come back in our adult lives, we question our sanity. It only takes something to bring in all out, for me, it was the feeling of helplessness at 40 years old and the right therapist to validate my memories. Keep helping others. I am almost done graduating from college to go into the field of psychology to help other childhood victims heal. ❤
GOOD GIRL. PEOPLE SOMEONE TO TALK TO AND ITS HARD TO TRUST ANYONE THESE DAYS.
Thank you for making this documentary.I still sometimes have a problem with the stress of fight or flight,but I am very happily married,it took me 40 yrs to find this wonderful man,I am 59 now and finally have the love I always needed that I didn’t get from my parent.My sexual abuser was my father,and my mother was neglectful and absent. In my life I have trust issues not with my husband or sons but I have a very difficult time making friends.I find it kind of embarrassing,but a part of life.Thanks again for your help and insights❤️
Thank you for your comment!
Aw Susan ❤️ I relate to your comment so much. You’re not alone.
@@janeb7795 None of us (survivors!) are alone
I turn 50 next month, never married. I pray I find a partner and true love.
you are so strong for doing this. i can’t imagine talking to people just trying to gaslight you about your own memories…. it’s ridiculous
When I started talking about my childhood (at my own incentive) the therapist had to literally ask me questions about my childhood because I couldn’t make out the memories. I knew the level of fear I felt, I knew how haunted I felt when I finally left at 17, and I knew that my childhood couldn’t have been normal because certain things other kids did sounded ridiculous.
I just didn’t know why. And it’s utter bullshit to say that you can’t be sure in your own memories.
Being abused by any degree means you’re going to be gaslit to think you’re wrong. Going to therapy and getting to tell a specialist who isn’t affiliated to you and having them go “yeah no this all sounds coherent, it sounds plausible, and if nothing else you’re affected by it today so to some degree it MUST have happened.”
I had two therapists that I went to on a couple occasions, one at age 15 and another at age 16-17. Both took my father’s side so strongly that I couldn’t even open up about how scared I was. They marked me and made me terrified of talking about it.
Then when my anger finally got too much I managed to move back to my mum’s place (after 3 years living with Him) and that first night we talked and she corroborated a TON of his personality that was abusive. We’d NEVER talked to each other about him and as soon as we did it turned out that we had very similar experiences.
My sisters still don’t believe in me, and if it weren’t for finding a good therapist who could listen to me I wouldn’t be as okay with it as I am.
Outstanding documentary. Loved how Mary questioned everyone, especially Loren. Mary is very, very cool. So glad I came across this video.
Thanks for the great comment! Email me if you want.
Oh Wow! Mary what an incredible doc! 🎬🎥 I'm so proud to say I watched this. How many years did this whole thing actually take you? I'm still in awe. What was the award at the end. I wish you would've shown us a bit more about you winning that, & your speech.
Dr. Van der Kolk, was ABSOLUTELY PHENOMENAL! Wow, I was blown away by him! He had me literally interacting with you two out loud. I was agreeing with him. & saying, "Omgosh, YESSSS."
But that other one.... I was truly taken aback by that "Dr." Pankratz (If you even call him one) from the FMSF. What he was saying was truly stomach-turningly nauseous. Even the way he'd move his hands.🤢 Ughhh... creep! I even saw you side eye the camera Mary! 😒🤭
Did your doc & what he came out & said, have anything to do with them "shutting down"? If not, do you know why they did?
& Loftus a high paid fluff. She really got out smarted by you. She was getting hot under the collar there a few times. Especially about Ms. America.
Speaking of her, she was just of breath of fresh air. Hearing her speak about her life was something else.
I absolutely LOVE the way you went about with this doc. How you went straight up to your naysayers. Confronted them head on! It was absolutely incredible. I really hope it has helped you in some way find a bit of healing. I know you'll be helping loads of others. Sending all my xoxo's from Florida! -Kristi 🧡💕
Thanks!
The ones who don't believe make me wonder if they themselves are abusers
Yes. I agree.
Or abused themselves.