Are ARFID parents “coddling” their children?🤔
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- Do ARFID parents “coddle” their children?🤔❤️❤️❤️
Avoidant restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID) is a diagnosis that can be found in the DSM-5. Approximately 0.5%-5% of the general population have ARFID.
There are three types of ARFID:
1. Avoidant
2. Aversive
3. Restrictive
People can have more than one type, or a combination thereof.❤️
Although research on neurological conditions and eating disorders remains limited, studies have consistently found that people with various neural developmental differences, including autism, anxiety, OCD ADHD, and intellectual differences, seem to be at a greater risk for developing eating disorders like ARFID.
Although up to 54% of individuals with ARFID are autistic, not every individual with a diagnosis of ARFID has a diagnosis of autism and vice versa.
Neurotypes and ARFID subtypes are factors to consider when discussing support and treatment plans. What may work for a neurotypical individual with a restrictive subtype will likely not work for an autistic individual with an avoidant subtype.
We hope that by sharing our journeys and information about ARFID, we may bring awareness to the diagnosis and acceptance of those with differences.
Resource: national eating disorders Association
(www.nationaleatingdisorders.org)
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#arfid #autism #adhd #confession #actuallyautistic #eatingdisorderrecovery #audhd #eatingdisorderawareness #arfidrecovery #arfidsupport #neurodivergent
I long for the day people stop dismissing autistic traits as the behavior of a coddled child. My parents believed in that type of stuff and would provide every punishment and consequence they could think of to my stims, food sensitivities, meltdowns, etc.
Surprise! I didn't lose my autism. Just gained cPTSD.
Punishing autistic traits doesn't make them go away. It just traumatizes the autist.
🤔 SPOT ON! My parents did the same with me, and I have C-PTSD and PTSD from their abuse. With my Autistic children, I did ask that they try a small teaspoon, one bite of a green bean for example, for the reward of food they wanted. We made it a fun game, so it was not overwhelming. Usually after 7 or 8 times of trying a new food, they asked for more of that food. I got the idea from their Pediatrician, after he told me Taste Is Acquired. Now they both enjoy trying new food, that I have no interest in.
You‘re right and I also wish more people would know. Most of the time I feel like I‘m the only person in the whole world trying to understand and help my daughter. Punishing a child for some unwanted behavior she has no control over and which is in fact most of the time just a reaction to circumstances she has no control over either, you can’t call that a good upbringing … it‘s torture.
Parents of neurotypical children have *no* idea, absolutely none. I used to get judged all the time. It was very hurtful. I have always said that my son's disabilities are only half the problem- other people's attitudes, especially towards a literal child, were always harder to deal with. I will never forget one time when we were leaving an indoor play facility and my son didn't want to leave so he resorted to throwing his shoes at the member of staff behind the counter. I was mortified. Once we had the shoes back and on the feet, I hurried all three children outside, in the pouring rain, and into the car. The owner came running out and tapped on my window. I dreaded what she was going to say, but she said, "please come back. Please don't feel like you can't come back. It's ok. We understand."
That has stayed with me for 14 years (he's 24 now).
Your videos are helping me so much. As a parent of a neurodivergent child I constantly struggle to understand the line between supporting and enabling. Your thoughtful, considered approach and your wisdom as a neuodivergent person parenting a neurodivergent child is so much more practical and helpful than watching dozens of experts talk theoretically about parenting. Thank you SO much for doing this.
My older brother did not have ARFID, but he did experience a food trauma at a young age (forced to eat canned green beans at a day care) and from that point forward, he swore off all beans, fruits (except bananas) and vegetables (except for pumpkin pie). It wasn’t until he was 20 that he was ready to start trying fruits and veggies again. There was nothing my parents could do to change it - and they tried.
Food related trauma is real.
I just realized I have food trauma ands well. In first grade some student teacher assistants, who were kids themselves, rushed me to finish my pizza saying lunch was almost over. I ended up throwing up in class. To this day, I can't eat fast. That memory still haunts me. That same grade, I spilled apple sauce all over myself and my mom had to come bring a change of clothes. Haven't eaten apple sauce since.
@@fanime1 humiliation especially at that age can be so scarring. Our brains really learn those “lessons” like they are hard inflexible rules to live by.
As an ARFID adult, you did good, the same as my mam did. You try everything to help them eat because ARFID is a diagnosis of exclusion.
It takes time to figure out what's going on and now you know, you're doing everything you can to help expand Toren's diet.
In turn you guys are both helping other ARFID patients feel valid and safe
It is never the way to force a child to eat something. The only responsibility you have as a parent is to 1. Love your child 2. Find a creative loving way that your child is not deficient in nutrients. Shakes or vitamin pills are okay. 3. Help your child, not to be afraid to try new nutrient rich foods. It doesn't have to be a meal. It could just be a carrot by itself. It can be cold too. Sometimes it helps to allow playing with food a little bit to gain familiarity and trust in this food. Thanks for standing up for showing parents better ways to be there for their children! Force should be a parenting technique of the past, not only with eating disorders. I am a nutrition scientist and force is proven to be NOT helpful with learning to eat healthfully forever. Diets for adults fail,because we did not learn to enjoy healthy eating. So we try it again with force even as an adult. And almost everybody knows, that diets do not work. Now you know why. Hope, that helps somebody outside!
I actually suffer from this I'm 55and just now starting to understand what it is
🤔 I taught my Autistic children to eat just one little teaspoon of what they didn't like. So it didn't overwhelm them. Their Pediatrician suggested it, and often after 7 or 8 times of trying a food, they started asking for more of that food.
@eveadame1059 But that includes the will from the child to try the new foods once or up to 7 times though. My autistic child with ARFID just can't get herself to put it in her mouth. It goes so far that she will refuse every food or drinks you give her for 2+ days straight. I mean, we're talking of a disorder that even makes them refuse pizza, fruits or french fries.
However, this strategy does work on my autistic son who has sensory issues around food but no ARFID.
@@eveadame1059 Okay, but would you try feces or urine 7 times? Or vomit? Probably not. The problem is, that we often cannot judge how strongly a kid dislikes certain foods. There are normal foods that some adults would never eat or even try.
I understand wanting the child to try things, especially if he only eats 5 things or so - but having to try food that you absolutely find disgusting will not help with liking more foods or trusting the parents,
Just imagine a mouldy sandwich or fruit - and someone asking you to "try just a spoonful".
My daughter has ARFID and has autism/ADHD. It's a heartbreaking and a very disruptive (for the whole family) condition. Her issues around food started at 6 months old when she was introduced to foods other than milk. Health providers don't understand this condition and see it as a fussy, strong willed toddler, picky eater and "just" sensory issues. Her younger brother has autism aswell and he's got sensory issues around food but the symptoms are very different from ARFID. My daughter has no hunger feeling or ignores it, there's no way to get food inside of her. She rather starves herself for days than eat something. She also doesn't eat unhealthy stuff like pizza, french fries or soups or juice, and never different foods combined. After therapy for a year at 6 y/o we finally managed to get her to eat a tiny peace of cucumber. Yes, I cried.
She still has drawbacks during stressful times. From November until mid January she's back to not eating due to all the feast celebrations in my country and one stressful event can make her unable to eat for weeks. Eating in public is very hard aswell. At school she's unable to eat during fruit and lunch breaktimes cuz she only has 10-20 minutes each break while needing more than an hour to eat a tiny portion. She's not doing this to be mean. She wants to eat, it just doesn't work. I wish people were more understanding of ARFID and not so judgemental.
Thank you for having the courage, patience, and vulnerability to share these stories about your parenting. I think you are a wonderful teacher and I appreciate your words. In certain corners of the Internet I think it’s easy to dismiss people who disagree, and I get why. But I respect you for giving this question such a thoughtful response.
As an allistic person who doesn’t have ARFID, it can be frustrating for me to watch someone trying a new food and being revolted by it. I just have to face the reality that I can’t understand! I think Toren is so brave to try new things with a public audience and to be honest about his experiences. I loved the sharp cheddar video- it made me feel hopeful to realize that sometimes trying new things has a happy result for him!
this is quite literally what i go through. my parents have tried things to put me through different things to try new foods, all the while i'd stall and stare. i intentionally eat away from groups out of anxiety.
after my mother found what ARFID is, she finally connected the dots. i'm waiting on seeing when i can receive a diagnosis, since we both are confident i have it.
I wish my parents had known about this when they were alive and my brother was growing up. My parents and my brother and now all gone but he had serious eating dysfunction. So do I to a point . I’m so so grateful and glad you’re talking about this because nobody did back when you and I were growing up. Sending you lots of love tonight mama❤❤
I remember being a child and sitting at the table for hours refusing to eat while being screamed at the entire time. You are doing an amazing job.
I love your wisdom. I'm the mother of 3 children, adults and teenagers & I need all I can get.
My little brother is autistic and we had no idea until he was an adult. I look back now and I'm saddened at the way my father treated him. He often said he was spoiled by my Mom. I've learned so much from these videos. Thank you both of you. ❤
My youngest Autistic has had difficulties with eating new foods too. He’s very set in this ways. Has a very ritualistic restricted diet. But he too is trying new foods too. He’s on shakes also. I never realised there was a name for this condition. Thank you for explaining it. And well done Toren for trying new foods. 😁💗
I have ARFID along with OCD, Autism, and ADD. My parents did the same thing to me without realizing the consequences before it was too late and I developed worse symptoms and food related trauma. This was very helpful for me and my parents!!
Hi from a 47 year old who has ARFID…it is definitely a very real condition that I have had to cope with my entire life. My parents said I ate everything until around 18 months then went through what they thought was a normal fussy stage that I never grew out of! Was so hard back then as it wasn’t even recognized until a few years ago. Thank you for spreading awareness. Cheers from Australia and a new subscriber 😊
i hope no one made you feel like you were coddling. as an unofficially diagnosed autistic person, i can totally see that the tremendous pressure we put on ourselves to fit in could spill off onto how we might treat our children and, if anything, we could be too harsh to our children that share our condition. i'm not a parent but i feel like i would need to really think about and innovate how i can raise my autistic child in the way that is right for them and in a way that respects their autism and doesn't penalize it. you're doing great, i have best wishes for you and your family!
I feel extremely perceived right now, but you're helping me figure out my own life and brain the more i watch of your content. I'm in severe burnout with no diagnosis, and I've felt like nothing more than a monster for weeks because i don't know when things will be or feel stable again.
Good words, Serenity. I’m so thankful that conditions like this are being better understood all the time now. I’m about to be 60, and just in recent years I have been struggling and experiencing issues with food - especially things that I used to eat easily and now simply can’t tolerate at all. In some cases it happens just as I’m about to eat dinner. All of a sudden, I absolutely can’t eat it. My husband does all the cooking for us, and it hurt his feelings so much when I reject his food, but I can’t help it. We’ve come to a compromise that we each decide for ourselves what we are going to eat, because I do much better if I can choose my food myself. I’m glad that Toren is making progress and/but I also understand that it is fragile progress.
If I may offer a bit if information, incase you hadn't encountered it and may wish to explore it...
The hormonal changes related to peri-menopause, and menopause can significantly exacerbate neurodivergent traits, like sensitivities we previously were able to hide, manage or mitigate.
The unpredictability may be related to much sleep you've had, or a compounding of other factors like having a slightly annoying noise in the background for hours.
If considering that possibility allows you to continue being gentle with yourself...and maybe points you in the direction of something useful...
It helped me once I knew.
As a 35 year old woman with "undiagnosed" adult ADHD (technically I was diagnosed as a child but my parents never had me treated)and a now almost 3 year old, you are really helping me understand myself and my son. He also has ARFID and it makes it difficult sometimes for me to feel good about what I am feeding him but I also don't want to push him to the point he won't ever want to try new foods someday. Thank you for helping me be a better mother to my son!!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you. This is so validating. My 18 year old daughter has ARFID, and it's certainly been a very challenging journey, full of lots and lots of opinions. At her recent appointment with her eating disorders specialist psychiatrist, we were all so happy that she had put on weight. It's such a hard journey for parents and child. Thanks for bringing awareness of this important condition 🙏 ❤️
It can be so frustrating when people think they know what’s best for you even though they are a total stranger. Yall are doing yalls best and Toren is growing into an amazing person and I’m so proud of him and all of yall. Keep doing what works for yall because I know you’re are trying your best. Sending love and support 🤍
These videos are helping my mum understand it so much more. I got diagnosed as an adult and I want to make sure she knows it wasn't anything she did to make me be picky, it's a real disorder and her giving in to my comfort foods wasn't her just giving up and being a lazy parent and letting me do whatever she wants like she felt for so long
My mom didnt know about this but she actually did coddle me. She would always make sure i had my favorite foods no matter what. She told family members that she didn't eat food that she didn't like so she wasnt going to make me eat food that i didnt like. Im an adult now and i have to feed myself and my kids and my husband and im struggling very much. Idk what to do. I step on the scale to make sure i never go under 100lbs. I drink ensures to make sure i get enough calories. Its so hard.
Have you ever done a deep dive on smoothie recipes? There are hundreds of them.
I have ARFID and experimenting with smoothies has really helped me to supplement my nutrition.
You could even get your kids to find smoothie blends they like online,it could be fun to make them together.
The possibilities are endless :)
Well you shouldn’t force your kid to eat food they don’t like, that doesn’t work. It wouldn’t have worked. Maybe she didn’t provide you with enough options, but defending you from others who want to force you to eat stuff you don’t like is NOT coddling. That’s treating your child like a human being.
My son likes soup. Lots and lots of puréed vegetable soup. If it's puréed he'll eat it (as long as it's vegan)
@WhimsicalCrochet that's true and I'm very thankful for her not causing trauma around food for me. Ps. Happy crocheting. That's the only thing I know how to do.
@mirandatarantella yes I love smoothies! I started getting ensures because 1 drink is 350calories.
I cheer for toren when he tries new foods!
I was raised by my grandparents in a "finish your plate or you can't leave the table" house. So, I slept at the table more than once. The solution? Let the girl make her own plate. I would get a tiny portion I knew I could finish. You can always get more.
Watching Toren try new foods got me to try some of the foodstuffs I Very Much Dislike, to see if maybe the new attempt at openness might cause my opinion of them to change. At least a little.
I've learned I'm okay with raw tomato if it's suitably buried with something that disguises the texture, not all onion rings are slimy, and that I very, *very* much still cannot tolerate fried okra. Still not brave enough to attempt octopus, but calamari was good. (Mostly)
I want to thank you and Toren for not only having the willingness, openness, and bravery for sharing your journey with Problematic Foodstuffs, but for also fostering an energy of enthusiasm to at least _try_ a food first. I'm not always good with that, but I'm learning through y'all. Thank you.
My son is 15 and autistic to the degree everyone can see that he is as soon as they look at him. He toe walks now but oddly he didnt start that until he was about 10 or 11. I toe walked from toddler to about summer between junior high and highschool when I was able to mostly stop. (Im on the spectrum but didnt know until way after I had a son)
Its hard to know what to do. Hes expressed the desire to be treated (by mostly school staff and peers) like hes more capable. He doesnt want them to see him as being special or needing help.
Its hard for me to decide what to do. The toe walking is such an immediate give away that hes autistic and he will never be able to fully mask his autism but since himself says he wants to blend in more I feel compelled to suggest that he tries to stop toe walking. He doesn't want to hear that suggestion.
I say this only to say I understand how its hard to know what to do and you know no matter what you do you will be judged harshly for it.
Thank you for your content. That could not have been easy to share. Allowing the whole world into your life in order to teach things desperately needed is beyond any words I have.
When I was a teen my family was a foster home. That experience, with your content, has given me a lot of context which has led me to a much greater understanding of, well, everything.
From a stranger, I m very proud of your family! ❤️🩹
As someone who is autistic I love your videos, I myself have trouble with alot of things toren does too, and the ways you help him are so sweet I wish my parents or group home workers did that for me, you're both very lucky to have eachother :)
You’re an amazing and incredibly well informed Mother. ❤
Thanks so much for sharing these videos. I have sometimes felt very alone and guilty in our journey with ARFID, misophonia and ASD... but I guess we are all just working things out. I made loads of mistakes with my eldest. My younger ones are benefitting from the learning that took place there. My eldest is fourteen now and parenting him gently the last few years has really helped to ... I don't know, it can't undo the damage, but it has helped our relationship a lot. Can't change the world for him, but I can make home a safe place... I hope.
I love the openness with which you and Toren share with us...
Thank you!!!
Mama we love you! It’s a lot of trial and tribulation but you never gave up and that’s always what’s seen ❤
Great thanks for this video, it made me realise my little cousin might have ARFID. I study clinical psychology and even learned about this disorder but it took your video to finally connect the dots.
It's very thoughtful and nice if you to confess some of your mistakes inorder to help others , it takes courage and a big heart . ❤❤
I so badly needed a mom like you 💞
Don't worry, Mama Wolf, my parents used to spank me over and over again when I wouldn't eat what they wanted me to. They wouldn't let me leave the table until I finished my food so I would sit there for hours and hours and often went to bed so hungry it was painful. It wasn't just the tase of the food that made it so hard to eat every thing about it from the texture to the smell made it feel impossible to eat. I ended up throwing up once after being forced to eat dinner. now that I'm 15 my parents finally gave up and let me make my own food, and I am so glad. Sometimes people don't understand when the problem goes beyond being picky.
Can ARFID be an adhd trait? I don't have autism but I do have adhd.
@@hannaheddy5829ARFID can be related to autism but is not exclusive to it.
There is also a genetic component to ARFID,which could appear alongside ADHD.
I honor your candor. We did many of the same things. It is great to have a name for it!
Ur mom is such an inspiration Toren ❤😢❤
This similar experience happened with my son. I can see you also feel strongly by what happened with toren. I feel the same about my son. Food can be so hard. I feel for both you and your son. I love these videos so much that you both share. Thank you both.
It’s been so good to fin out about ARFID through you and Toren, to understand better why our son has had such a restricted diet all his life and to reinforce what we had, too slowly, started to do. It helps us validate him and helps me keep up the effort of preparing food in a way he will accept.
I have a nutritionist that works with me without judgment 😢ot causes me great distress .thank you both for sharing such personal subject
Every so often, youtube's algorithm gets something right. 💜 I am so grateful the two of you were brought to my attention!! My children are now grown and on their own, but your videos are still teaching me. My son is now 31 yo and thriving, but from preschool into college was quite challenging with his diagnosis and it was in learning of his, that I came to understand my own undiagnosed behaviors. Thank you so very much for sharing the many sides of life as a family thriving with ND!
Sending so much love and light to your family!!
💜
Much love to you Mama. I have a son with ARFID. I LOVE how you treat your son and appreciate you sharing that confession. It is so helpful to hear other parent stories. Thank you.
The relationship you have with Toren is so cute! If one day I can be just a speckle of the wonderful mom you are, consider me the happiest woman alive!
I’ve always wondered how do you knew from the start it was ARFID and not just normal pickiness, but seeing you talk about it made me realize the stark contrast between one and the other. Thanks!
🖤✨
You are doing the Lord’s work here. This and the other videos I’ve watched have me crying. Seriously, thank you!
🙏🏾💜🌈🌻🙏🏾
He reminds me of my son. The food was such a mountain to climb. It's ok Momma. ❤
My autistic daughter had some issues with arfid. I was very blessed that her doctor was not worried and just told us if she is hungry she will eat, and if she just wants gold fish that’s fine. He said we would only worry if her eating started to affect her health. When she was young we did have a 1 bite rule that she had to try something, but she could make that bite as little or big as she wanted. She has very interest likes and dislikes, but now as a teenager we let her control what she is putting in her mouth. So far it has worked well for her and she will sometimes try new things. Good job being a mom that wants what’s best for your kiddo no matter what others say!
Thank You ❤
I am "just" AuDHD but forcing anyone to eat anything they don't like can't be good. And why people "on the internet" so often think their rude comments are in any way helpful?
I think kindness always helps better ❤ thanks for sharing, you're doing great
So much love to you ❤❤❤❤ I can see how hard you are on yourself mama. Please know that you are a great mum ❤❤❤
Even when he was young he looked like a fine young man just like now❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Serenity, I hope that you're not too hard on yourself, but can focus on the good and beautiful.
As a late diagnosed adult trying to understand his own diagnosis, ARFID didn’t seem to resonate or be part of the spectrum that I occupied until working with my therapist to reengage with my own experiences. Before the age of 3 it seems I pretty much ate anything, but then this suddenly significantly reduced around the age of 4, and continued to do so over the next 3 years. I remember gagging on various foods that I had previously enjoyed - whether this was when my parents insisted I remained at the table and finish what had been prepared, or on my own at school.
One of these was just milk. Used to drink it at school (UK) in breaktimes, and remember suddenly finding that it induced retching. I tried repeatedly to keep drinking it over multiple breaktimes and just couldn’t. Still can't drink it to this day unless it has been strongly flavoured.
Although not as full and severe (hence I'm not sure if it truly was ARFID) as Toren, for instance, the change was there. It frustrated my parents, and they - alongside others - kept trying to persuade, force, cajole and pressure me into eating things. Sometimes my parents would get angry because I would start throwing up. It was miserable.
Most recent has been my wife who extolled the joys of tomatoes. I had tried to communicate that this was not a good idea, but it wasn’t until she saw the sudden and very visceral reaction upon biting into one that she understood why I didn’t.
I'm not as restricted these days (48). For instance, learned to be able to eat pizza or yoghurt again at age 20, kiwis in my early 30's, but there is still a sizeable list that is literally 'off the table'.
You're so right. My youngest son 13 (asd, arfid and other disorders) struggled since birth. I had to give up breastfeeding early on. He took an hour drinking milk from a bottle.
Gagged when he started solids and it went on and on. Family members, friends and even strangers would offer advice......constantly. I had tried being tough on him and all it did was make us both resent mealtimes.
When he got older I was told I was 'imagining it' and to stop making it into an issue. That I was actively looking for things that weren't there. Yet they kept making remarks about how he was so skinny and about how fussy he was.
Since he was diagnosed over a year ago some of those same people finally understand.
It isn't about fussy eating. It isn't about not liking one particular texture, after all there are plenty of other foods. It's about how it affects your everyday life.
I used to say to people (the ones that really struggled to understand but would still say their two pence worth) if I offered you a plate of sheep's brains, dried cockroaches, a fermented egg and chickens feet, would you eat them? They would argue that it's not proper food and I'd reply that it's proper food in different countries. 😄
You've done an amazing job. And you're raising awareness which is so helpful to others. 😊
I learned to cook just so I could eat things exactly how I like them. I substitute or leave out anything I don't want. I can get the texture or doneness exactly right for my palette. With that I can eat a well rounded diet!
I also can try new things on my own terms.
I'm terrified of most store bought condiments, for example, but I can make them myself and relax around them. From there I can branch out a little bit.
Your voice is so nice and soothing❤
You guys clearly love him 💗
When I was a toddler, my parents tried to get me to eat brussel sprouts and they forced me to stay at the table until I ate my plate. I ended up getting sick and it was a whole ordeal. Fast forward 20 years and I've learned that I have gastrointestinal issues that are comorbid with my ASD diagnosis. Brussels sprouts and similar vegetables causing intense pain in my entire GI tract. Please listen to your children when they tell you they don't want to eat a food. They might not have the words to tell you exactly what's going on, but they're reacting that way for a reason.
I am really enjoying your videos from a mum perspective. Very interesting and well put. Thank you for your honesty ❤
Family/friends used to try to talk me into basically starving my son to get him to eat. I refused. The texture of certain food would just lead to him vomiting, unable to keep anything down, scents would have him turning away. As I gradually found foods he liked, I just bought tons of it lol. I always, even now that he’s 14, carry some food/snacks in my purse so no matter where we go I know he has food he’ll eat. And I always pack his lunch for school
Both my kids have ARFID. my youngest tried so hard to eat a chicken wing. He really tried, but once he swallowed that bit of meat, he threw up. Their food choices are so limited, I really worry about CPS, social repercussions, and the future, when food prices, homelessness, or famine might make it a dangerous disorder to have
I appreciate all of your advice and honesty. Your sharing helps me immensely ❤❤ thank you!
Serenity,you are an awesome Mom ❤
sorry this is long, but im someone that has very clear memories from when i was like 1 and before. obviously they get very blurry or i only remember part of it as something i sensed. like only hearing etc. i know i always hated certain foods but the people in my environment would always appear really happy when i ate those foods. i remember it took me a while to figure it out that people were expecting me to react a certai nway. i cvould only understand parts and figured out they were negatively talking about me. so i had to find a way to make them happy. i remember trying to mimic their faces when they appeared happy. and so the "lies/masking"begun. i had to eat foods they wanted me to like and show my gratitude for it. i also remember feeling hungry a lot sooo... yeah. i guess thats my earliest memory of masking. i do remember wanting to telll them i hated these foods before but iremember at roughly age 6 i finally realized that i just couldnt pretend naymore. i just felt sick to my core eating foods like onions. my mum said oph but you always liked it, you are being so dramatic and sensitive. stop being ungrateful eat whats on the table.
im paraphrasing a little bit but thats the emssage behind her words and she was never nice about it. so lunch time became a nightmare.
im 23 and i found out im probably on the spectrum at age 21 but i was in complete denial. as someone that loves psychology that was strange for me to be in such denial. im always very open minded to all possibilities. like originally i thought maybe im bipolar but it never truly fit but i went with it for a couple of years. until i found a bunch of autistic women that act and talk like me and had the exact experiences me. i could never fully see myself in bipolar omen. but these autistic women were also falsly diagnosed with bipolar and thats when i started to really open my mind to the poissibility of being autisic and having adhd. i know nwo i have arfid and its kind of helping me figure out ways to deal with it and the trauma from my childhood.
Thank you for more reasons than I know how to express.
AFRID is now considered a medical condition. And, needs to be very gently introduced to other foods.
Thanks for the information!
Thank you always learning
I am autistic and most of the kids and adults in my family have autism. We have had picky eaters but my grandson will starve before he eats. He ate well before he started feeding himself. I get him nice and fat before school starts because he will drop at least five pounds the first month. I don’t deny him anything he wants to eat.
Thank you for sharing
Thank You so much ❤
Who accuses you of coddling? That is crazy. Clearly, whoever said that does NOT understand ARFID. My son also had this and we didn't understand it. My son had trauma from people yelling at him to eat foods he couldn't eat. Toren is AMAZING and both you and his videos have helped us in SO many ways! Don't listen to haters. You have Jewel commenting on your videos! THAT is Epic!!
The background music, Waldeck? Pretty Lights? Seems so familiar... Yes i was listening to mom;);) ;couldn't watch so i could listen better,);)
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My daughter has ARFID definitely I do not know how she survives 😢😢😢however until she has her assessment I have to continue with the daily dramas and upset
Coddled? No. Enabling? Maybe. I grew up too poor to turn down meals. What little we had was all there was. Eat it or don't. We weren't forced, but there wasn't anything else. I would skip fish stick night or choke it down bc hongree
I do have a friend who has had 2 heart attacks due to his extremely low body weight from ARFID. They have food, he just doesn't want it. I used to bring him his favorite foods when I lived close. Teriyaki chicken or bbq burgers. Bbq pineapple pizza. ❤
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I got diagnosed with AuDHD last year. I wonder if I have AFRD because soggy foods specifically make me want to gag. I can't even enjoy tres leches cake because my brain immediately tells me to throw it up. I thought maybe it was just a personal preference. I mean who enjoys soggy foods? My sister might n have it as well as she always has to pick apart her meat. She hates the fat and certain textures. She loves eating my vegetarian food with me sometimes because she doesn't have to worry about that.
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Is ARFID the name for when an autistic person has a restrictive food selection due to sensory issues with food texture and such?
I guess I´m lucky, I don´t have that issue (although there are still many food types I don´t like and most spices are way too strong for me, on top of my many food intolerances) but my girls and all of my 5 nephews and niece have a very restricted food "repertoires" to varrying degrees (in my blood related family, only my mom is not autistic, the rest of us is).
I love you guys!
I made my son vomit by forcing him to eat lettuce. Never forced him to eat anything again (no not physically forced but couldn’t get up until he ate one bite)
No idea what arfid is...
But as a kid in the 80s, you ate what was placed before you ..even if you had to sit at the table all night long. I grew up poor in the early 80s.
I refused to eat certain foods cuz I literally couldn't stand em..and my parents thought I was too sensitive and or picky about things. Then again, none of us knew about (partial) anosmia back then...
Things got bad in those days. Let's just say I know what it's like to have to eat pets. I would prefer not to clarify on the subject. It'll trigger the nightmares.
Ah, so that's arfid...sounds like my childhood for sure. Yogurt, applesauce, brownies, pies, (the dessert variety) soft cookies, and a few other things.....nope, no way. Strangely enough, PB is fine. Go fig.
Ok, just read up on it. Me, it's textual...and partial anosmia. Not sure where I'd fit in on the thing. I've long accepted partial anosmia. And accepted texture issues associated with autism.
But again, food issues wasn't supported or allowed as I grew up. Though when my fruit allergies kicked and and my parents freaked out over my reaction to bananas....they finally at least paid attention to my food aversions. Besides, what parent wants to see their kid have to be brought back from death?
Yeah, I grew up in a strict household. Spare the child, spoil the rod. And no, I personally don't view it as abuse. I was never spanked out of anger, never had marks...but I do know what it's like to not be able to sit for a week (that was for watching my sister's my little ponies melt without saying anything about it...and yes, I'm the one that lit em)
I understand the reasons why I was spanked, but I do wish we all had tools and any understanding of things...but none of us did and my parents did the best they could. While I resent many things about my childhood, I do NOT hate my parents for the spanking, nor am I upset or resentful about it. Have my resentment towards other things...and it all comes from lack of understanding, listening, and helping - all school related.
Now knowing the kind of discipline my mother's side of the family had - spanking was nothing compared to what Mom grew up with. Talk back to parents? Get knocked out. Fight with a sibling? Boxing - without gloves. Didn't matter if it was a boy or a girl. They were all treated equally.
Me? I talked back on my parents once. Same for cussing. My punishment? Bar of soap for dinner.
Only time I was allowed to swear/cuss was when I was in the hospital to deal with my 3rd degree gasoline fire burns. Believe I surprised my parents with my vocab...especially in the treatment room.
My father forced me not to leave the table and all that stuff, then when he saw I was looking like a skeleton he started to force me to eat even harder because he thought I had anorexia 💀
People should be aware that anorexia is not the only eating disorder that makes you lose weight
Wait now I think about it that's still super weird to force a kid who is supposedly anorexic to eat something that they don't like in the first place
Hello from Texas ❤