At 70 yrs old, I was the “weird old lady who lives at the end of the road” as neighbours would describe me. Not one doctor knew what I was going through on a daily basis and I was labeled antisocial. Nowadays, even though doctors know better about the disorder, any doctor I go to refuse this diagnosis for me due to my age, saying it’s never been documented in my medical file therefore it’s not what I have. They choose to stick with what was previously diagnosed…”unsociable and irate”. Very disheartening to me. But, fortunately, my daughter and granddaughter are diagnosed properly on the spectrum.
Your first and last mistake is going to a doctor. What the hell does he know about you? You've been with you all your life. You would know. Trust yourself
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now so far it has cured his autism and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now my son is completely free
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about Dr Oyalo on RUclips and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
You are NOT embarrassing anyone dear. You are lovely. Your boyfriend is not a poor boyfriend. Your family is not a poor family. They are lucky to have a wonderful young lady in their lives.
My wife has Asperger’s. As challenging as it has been she brings so much positivity to our marriage. She is SUPER organised, admirably truthful, amazingly proactive and I trust her with my life. ❤
I’m late to the party but this brings so much hope! My husband and I are coming to terms with my recent diagnosis and about to have our first child in a few weeks.
As the father of an autistic little girl, I applaud your courage to make this video and opening up about your struggles. My daughter is 4 and she's my world. It's hard to communicate with her, but thankfully someone like you who is older can express so clearly how you feel and how you think because it helps me understand her a lot more. Thank you so much and you are a great young lady!
You sound like a great dad! I just wanted to add that not all autistic people are the same when it comes to sensory stuff etc....one person may be hypersensitive to touch (needing thin comfortable clothing) while another person might be hyposensitive to touch and not notice when they have their shoes on the wrong feet or clothes inside out, and some (like my daughter) can be BOTH hyposensitive and hypersensitive to touch causing some things to bother them immensely (like tighter waistbands) while they are oblivious to other things (like having their pants on backwards)....it can seem contradictory and make no sense at all sometimes lol. And it's like this with all the senses. I would just say pay attention to your daughters cues and believe her when she tells you in her own way that something is bothering her. If you do that, you'll be miles ahead of most parents (unfortunately). Lastly as someone who was once a neurodivergent child herself, thank you so much for truly caring about your daughters experiences and taking the time to learn about her. It's going to make such a huge difference in her life!
@@chewyjello1 thank you for such encouraging words! She's now 5, and never ceases to amaze us with her incredible intelligence. I couldn't be more proud of her ❤️
Same. Different ways of putting it but they're not usually quite enough, but I think this saying really 'hits the nail on the head.' If I want some kind of company, I'll seek it out, but after... whatever amount of time my brain/body decides it's done, it's done. I need it, I want it, I'm quite happy with alone time, and much more than the 'average person' which is what worries my mum. I really, really value my alone/time-whenever I'm able to get a job again, or any life decisions, that's a big thing for me-I need a lot, and I like my alone time far more than I guess a lot of people do. I don't want to, and it isn't a good idea for me, to sacrifice that. I'm perfectly happy being by myself; something that has always bothered my family. But I could not and cannot explain it to mum in a way she will understand or think is 'enough'. The 'typical/proper/recommended amount' of social time or whatever, I/my brain doesn't care about that, doesn't NEED that, despite how often my mum would insist its healthy. Sure, a little on my terms that I can leave or exit whenever I'm done, is great but. Say 100 is the max/reaaaally social, recommended is at least 40%... I'd be a, idk, 10%. Maybe less. Even online, I'll just at times kind of. Not talk to people for months sometimes... some 'friends' we are still 'friends' on different sites, but we haven't talked in years, it's just kind of 'there' to pick up whenever is the first one to do it. I dunno. I don't feel unhealthy or whatever... people are still there, I'll talk to them when I feel comfortable or with enough energy and stuff-it's just far, far less than other people. I get super tired and done and grouchy no matter how much I'm supposed to like the person, when I've had enough-and it's not like it's very consistent either; just that it's not a long time at all. Losing wherever I was trying to go with this so... yeah lol.
You have described my daughter. She was recently diagnosed ASD. Several of our family members are denying the diagnosis, basically because she isn't their idea of Autistic. We are struggling because when she speaks or acts in the ways comfortable for her, they want to fit her in the neurotypical mold and will scold or discipline her for being rude or not paying enough attention. I just want to teach her to be herself and see how awesome she really is
My daughter was diagnosed in 3rd grade officially. It took quite a while to get an accurate diagnosis. She’s 19 and I still find myself explaining her diagnosis and what it means for her. I have always advocated for her to be polite so we did have a lot of OT and therapy to teach coping skills and I learned many ways to support her so she could enjoy life on her terms.
Families do tend to do that, my two sons mask because of that, family would scold my kids and they were mainstream schooled so learned to "be" like a normie, like a neurotypical, that is very exhausting for them, they sleep after school from masking and holding it together to fit in the box all day, l wish more people were educated on ASD and understand the spectrum better. I read a comment on a Disney Princess video claiming Autistics to be violent maniacs that are a danger to the actors, this is what we're up against, people learn rubbish "facts" off of shorts clips with zero details and then people assume the worst. It's pure ignorance and really sad.
Can someone help me understand if I might be autistic? Of course I won’t auto diagnose my self, just wanted to understand if I might be. Ok ok on the bus I ALWAYS sit in front in the window seat and when I have to sit anywhere else it’s very uncomfortable for me but I do it anyway because I don’t wanna disturb anyone and I’m scared they might get pissed I don’t like the feeling of dishes, water types of clothes, types of materials and it’s just uncomfortable sorry to write about this but in the video she says something about poop XD and I’m having the same problem, plus I SWEAR I didn’t know you have to poop everyday wot- (anyway sorry for bringing this topic) even tho most people always see me as empathic I’m actually always confuse on what people are feeling and go by instinct, hoping I struggle a lot with hygiene I also find my self always confused, I mean constantly, now as well and I don’t know why I have LOTS of interest in topics that might result complicated or unusual? Even tho I kind of have a memory problem (I think because of my anxiety, depression and adhd/add) and therefore I often forget everything. Just saying one time I forgot I had online friends once, or when someone talks I sometimes immediately forget what they said ecc… soon I might be diagnosed with ADHD/ADD does this mean there’s a chance I might also have autism? This is everything that comes to mind for now, sorry for any English or grammar error
Ten Traits Covered in this Video- 1) Heightened Senses 2) Mental Illnesses 3) Inflexibility (Routine) 4) Difficulty/Dislike Socialising 5) Selective Mutism 6) Black/White Thinking 7) Gut Issues 8) Good Long Term Memory 9) Meltdowns 10) Empathy P.S.- It is not necessary to have all these traits.
Hey wow. All of these. Except for the last - I perhaps over empathize. There isn’t an easy example that doesn’t make me look like a giant jerk, but like the “finish your plate, there are starving children in Africa” trope…I am the kid who tucks away a portion and mails it labeled “to: starving children in Africa”
I cried when you mentioned the meltdowns. I remember getting them pretty frequently when I was in high school (and looking back now I see them when I was even younger), but my mother told me "the real world doesn't deal with this kind of bullshit". Ever since then, I've tried incredibly hard to never show the world or my family my "bullshit". I've been denying a potential autism diagnosis because every time I bring it up, my parents deny it, since my ADHD is far more prevalent. I think it's time I go to the psychiatrist. Thank you
Amen! I feel ya! I'm 64 & I don't have to explain myself to anyone. This sounds so terrible, but it's great to know I'm not the only one like this & I AM NORMAL! Well, for me.
I know what you mean about family. My family would never have put up with and didn't put up with my differences when I was a kid. It's okay to go to the psychiatrist. I had the same stigma attached to it because of the way I was raised.
I feel identified with u with the need of having a dx and the feeling of your family not being empathetic :( in my case they told that in the future I'll have "more important things to worry about" and they try to understimate my feelings comparing them to ppl who suffer about "worse" things than what I go through like those problems were stupid. It's hard to hide what's always there right to your side
😊 Yep, that's me, 81 years old. Although I prefer to call it a "difference" rather than disorder. Learning to navigate through life with skills and awareness, and mostly acceptance that this is what I have to function with is healthy. Thank you so much for speaking out to bring understanding and awareness of these unique qualities, it is so helpful to everyone. EMBRACING WHAT IS WITH LOVE. 😊💜 We can be our own Best Friend.
atypical or 'atyp' is my descriptor. heightened senses, definitely. zero tolerance for the 'weight' of nail polish or makeup, just one example. diagnosed at age 17, never had intervention or assistance, just took the diagnosis as a task. now approaching 80, i've become better at passing for a normie....
My late husband suggested each evening that I have alone time with my sewing machine. He found that was a great way for me to recover from the day. I totally understand what you mean when you say that it's like breathing
@Digby Dooright My mother used to say to me...."you should live in a world by yourself." I like being alone. I need to be alone. I guess I am very self absorbed.
@@beauty23ish I may be crazy but I don’t think it’s always a bad thing, to want to have time alone. Especially the way the world is these days! I always joke about when my kid is in school that’s my “me time” but truth is, I’m not joking, I need my me time, and when schools out, I’m always telling one of them up there at school they don’t care about my me time!
Thank you Olivia. That describes my 13 year old daughter exactly. Desperately trying yo get her diagnosed over here in the UK. She has a hard time at school. Seeing you all cheery and positive has made me feel happier.
I was dx with ADHD, PTSD, anxiety and depression at 40. Found out last year I had ASD when I was 43. I am multitalented, forgetful, blunt, mush mouth, logical, and hyper-vigilant. My ASD needs routine, but my ADHD makes it hard to maintain them.
This describes me and what I’ve been struggling with and couldn’t figure out why. I’ve been researching and testing for autism and am trying to get a diagnosis. So many years I’ve have some traits from what I strictly remember from childhood that was apparently not “normal”. But the structure is what I’m trying and really wanting to get a hold of.
@@OliviaHops Hi Olivia, thank you so much for opening up in this video and sharing! I am 68 years old, and I watched this for my son (who I thought might have borderline autism)... and found myself! This ties it all together for me and helps me to understand myself much better! I will watch it again and start reading up on it.... again, THANK YOU!
You described most of the things about me. I am almost 60 years old and have been called: antisocial, over sensitive, extremely picky about my food, my clothes (the way they feel on my skin), my sense of smell, having items be in there spot, items lining up(lines on a rug lining up with the floor lines)- I took it all personally like no one liked me or I annoyed most people. I stay away from social situations because they exhaust me.I have very few friends and o am fine with that. I have finally realized I have ASD and have been this way since I was very young. I have learned to cope with most things about myself and my ‘turned up ‘senses, but the biggest thing for me was accepting me as this is who I am . I am different and unique. Self acceptance is the biggest issue anyone has with this or any other type of disorder you cannot change. Love yourself no matter what, and learn to be ok with your ‘unique gifts’. ❤️
I'm a late diagnosed autistic female and whole my life I've had a feeling that people in general dislike me (at first I've thought that's because I'm overweight, then because I'm a bad person, then because of my disorder). And only after your video I've understood that I don't see joy on people faces not because they are upset, but because of my "mimic blindness". It's so relieving to finally at the age of 33 know that the world doesn't actually hate me. Thank you!
When you said “I always think everyone hates me” I totally resonated with that. Every time I meet someone new, I think they dont like me and my friends are like “what do you mean? Of course they liked you!” I just don’t know how to tell if they liked me or not
Me too - I am so bad at it. Also when she mentioned about remembering faces but not names I was like, oh, that's new. I can remember faces really well but names not so much. I can also remember architectural layouts of old houses I use to live in and schools I went to (all of them, not just one) all of them.
@@notdeadyet2338 I am lucky to have a best friend and 2 other close friends. I know it’s not a lot, but I’m grateful for them. My original comment maybe made it seem that I have tons of friends which I definitely do not, but I do have a few
I was an elementary teacher for 16 years. In my last year I had a female student diagnosed with ASD. Your insights are wonderful and hope they will help many others. May God bless you for your courage and honesty to share and help others.
I’m a 28 year old female who’s currently waiting to get help and get diagnosed. I’ve been struggling my whole life with social situations, mental illness and just being a “normal” human being. Everything you said in this video felt so relatable to me. I actually started crying because it got so overwhelming (in a good way). Thank you so much for making this video!
@@emily3 hey we're close in age! Hello peer group. I seriously related a lot to these examples she listed. I'm glad this is out there. Funny enough since this video is 2 years old I think the presenter is 26 too lol. Close to it anyway.
Same, I'm 37. I dont know if a diagnosis will help at all. My husband will think it's a convenient excuse for my actions over the past 18 years we've been together...smh...I'm probably still gonna ask my gp but I dont even know what I'm going to have to do to get the diagnosis. If it has anything to do with remembering past events....I'm screwed.
Self diagnosed from the wealth of information on RUclips, my 'Covid lockdown' was filled with research into my lifelong differences to 'normal' people. Aged 72 now, it's been really interesting consciously monitoring my speech/thoughts and responses when talking to people. And, how refreshing to hear how Olivia describes her own journey. These videos will help thousands of people. Well done Olivia 🙂
This brought me to tears! I have a six year old little girl who is my life and I’ve been struggling since her diagnosis 3 years ago to make her life as easy and accessible for her as I do for her older neurotypical sister. Seeing you allowed me to imagine a beautiful future for my darling. Thank you so very much for this. 😭
😭💕this comment made me tear up, too! Indeed you are truly God’s light for your daughters. Bless you. (I agree, this video means a LOT to me as well. Like you, Olivia is full of noor ✨so beautiful mashallah)
I completely agree. I have a 5 year old and seeing her has been inspiring. If our daughter grows up to be like you we would be so proud. This is helpful, especially the one about poop. What do you do now to help. Do you do CBT
So beautiful! As a neurotypical person I learned so much from your video and I definitely empathize with some of your struggles. It reminded me that if we can be a little more generous with people's needs and differences, humans could be so much happier as a whole. It was so beautiful to see you confidently state your strengths and struggles. No one should ever have to apologize for what they need to be their best selves, even if it is different than what people feel like that should look like. Most people don't even try. I hope you keep finding answers and ease. You have brought us all a bit closer, and made the world a bit kinder with this video.
When I was a baby, I was diagnosed with ASD and never talked until I was in the 1st grade. I completely relate to the sensory issues-especially noise. I can't STAND loud noises. And my alone time is so wildly accurate! I stay in my room for hours a day! I also have mutism as well. I also hate socializing, but I have to. And I also get angry for little things. I’m still ashamed of who I am, but not as much anymore. I'm bullied because of my autism, and I’m in middle school, so I can't get mad over things when people are around because they will make fun of me. Thank you.
I found high school easier than middle school. In middle school everyone wants you to be the same. But in high school most people tend to stick to their group and allow everyone else to be different. Unfortunately, some bullies never mature. You, on the other hand, should accept your many great characteristics and love yourself despite any trouble spots. Everyone, I mean everyone, struggles at something.
I find that meditation apps help me greatly. Brainwave for when I’m out and about(forest background sound), Solfeggio(cheaper app)or Mesmerize(expensive)when I’m stressed. I was bullied so badly that I left school(as a highschool freshman), but I regret it. Those people really don’t matter. If I could go back in time I would take yoga and a martial arts class. Then I would get a headstart on being in shape physically and mentally and be able to defend myself. One girl threatened to beat me up(for no reason). So if you’re able to, I suggest that. Tai chi classes are harder to find, but good for self defense and destressing.
I’m so sorry you are teased. I promise once you get out of school real life is nothing like it. I have adhd and so do 2 of my kids. Mine is actually getting worse with age. I’m so impatient! I have an issue with repetitive noises or movements. They drive me up the wall! So I understand a lot of how you feel. As a mom it makes me mad those kids are mean to you. They should know better. Obviously their parents aren’t raising them to be good people. I hope it gets better for you! Also middle school is much harder than high school so hang in there!
1. Sensory issues 2. Anxiety/ Depression 3 Inflexibility 4. Not sociable (limited) 5. Selective mutism (cannot speak at times) 6. Logical thinking- black and white no grey areas 7. Gut issues 8. Superior long term memory/ Poor short term 9. Meltdowns 10. Empathy- putting self in other peoples shoes, comes off insensitive. How are you being treated? Any medications to help with anxiety or depression?
Forget about meds. Work on your issues yourself. It's the only way to get long lasting benefits as opposed to becoming addicted to a quick fix pill. First of, make friends with your anxiety and understand that the anxiety is not you and it doesn't define you. Stop identifying yourself with it. You have control over it. Embodiment therapies/techniques can really help grounding back into your body, away from the busy, scattered mind. Meditation. Sit in silence for a few minutes a day, this will create mind space and a sense of expansion whether anxiety feels oppressing instead. Walks in nature. Again, it's expansive and revitalising. Exercise! It just works. Stay connected to the people you know care about you. Keep the important friendships and family relations alive, so you don't feel a sense of disconnection with the outside world. I can think of so many other ways. JUST NOT DRUGS nor any other form of plain escapism. Dance in your living room, disconnect from social media, crafts, painting, cooking..... the list go on.
@@waterdragon5418 I'd recommend meds for a crisis, to stabilise the patient. But a regular practice, unfortunately, is that doctors keep patients on meds for longer that's necessary. It's not their fault; it's cultural. We live in the age of pop-a-pill to mask the symptoms rather than working on the issue from a holistic perspective. Meds are ok but should never be a long term option, unless absolutely necessary for the survival of the patient. In my opinion.
What an incredibly irresponsible, self-righteous, privileged and ableist take. The level of audacity one must have, to come onto the page of an Autistic person and pill-shame; in a space created by and for the Autistic community and for education, through sharing their specific Autistic experience. Welcoming yourself to shame the creator as well as community of autistic, chronically ill, depressed, anxious, disabled+ for choosing the medical treatments that work for them is not only infantilizing, it is beyond careless, dangerous even. Though I will add this statement remains true in *any space, digital or physical, including your town farmers’ markets, yoga studios or even privately owned “wellness” center. Please do not continue to perpetuate such harmful rhetoric. It is one thing when people ask for advice, for you to share knowledge of the possible benefits of a holistic approach. To which people can decide for themselves, and along with their caregivers/medical team, if they would like to try adding to their treatment regimen. Leave out what others should eliminate from their medical care and frankly their lives. That is not your business! It is wholly unacceptable to encourage, suggest or tell people that they ought to discontinue, stop or never begin medical treatment in and way shape or form, unless you are their MD and are highly trained in their condition. It is flat out rude to assume anyone wants your medical/health/“wellness” advice, in any capacity, but especially just because they are sharing their vulnerable experiences. Not only is it highly presumptuous of you to assume that you know more than them, but you are now also assuming you know them better than they know themselves, that you know their condition better than the medical professionals that they have hired to be in charge of their care plan and it is not okay. ______________________ Please, to anyone reading this and feeling like you are somehow failing because you take medication, have taken medication or need to find access to medication, for any reason, physiological, mental, etc. You Are Valid! Anyone reading this who has seen benefit, in any way, whatsoever, when you do have access to medications (western medicine/traditional/holistic/physical aids/other or any combo thereof) You Are Valid! Signed- a retired organic farm owner/operator with over a decade of studies in herbalism and homeopathy, the wellness industry and marketing; who is Autistic, Chronically ill and Disabled.
@@waterdragon5418 thank you for this! Many people do, and that is 100% okay. Thank goodness for the technology and medical advances of modern medicine. Those who need, benefit from (and are lucky enough to have access to have access to) such tools to aid in their quality of life should never be shamed for utilizing them.
I'm 63, and display all ten of your quirks to some degree or other. You have no idea how many jobs I've lost because I was sitting and crying at my desk. I had an autism test a while ago, and never did get their final results. Maybe I didn't want confirmation. But this video confirms it all for me. I do thank you very much for having shed light on my life for me. I have a hard time seeing the obvious about myself.
Oh Honey .... you have described me with almost all of those issues. I hate disruptions ... at home or work. I can't have chaos going on around me. I need to wear cotton ... cut my tags off... it goes on and on .... I am almost 65. Depression, anxiety all my life. I need alone time EVERY day ... as my therapist told me to make sure to get decades ago. You are so articulate and personable. I hope you have more posts ...
I can’t wear “heavy” shoes with loose “lights tops” it’s makes me wanna cry. Cotton is my favorite clothing material, ever since no one actually pushes me to do hwk or stuff bc of my age I procrastinate.
I’m 65 and feel so much like you. It’s too late for me to seek a diagnosis but the more I see videos like this the more it explains me through my life. It’s quite comforting to know there’s likely a reason for how I’ve always been different, thanks for the video
I’m 60 years old & you have just described my life young lady . I seams as though ihave always been a disruption in my family, by may traits .. maybe I should get revaluated.. Thank you for your bravery in doin this video...
Selena - I am so shocked but I also find similarities in my life. I am 68 years old. Of course when we were young, there was no such thing as autism unless you were like Rainman. My 8 year old granddaughter was diagnosed 2 years ago. She definitely shows behavior as that of autism. Well, maybe I need to get evaluated also. It would answer several questions I have about my social skills.
Hi Selena, I’ve been diagnosed with autism recently and I’m 56. As far as disruption goes, that explains the effect I have on everyone around me. However, I bet you’re a wonderful disruption ! ❤️👍
Me: ok but I'm probably not neurodivergent, I'm just overthinking Also me: * relates to every single autism in girls video * (edit from the future: got diagnosed! I was right, lol)
I would suggest doing more research outside of watching youtube, if you're planning on getting diagnosed. I'm kinda doing the opposite, I started doing research first and now I'm diving into the youtube neurodivergent circle, but it doesn't really matter. Just as long as you're doing your research before self-diagnosis.
You’ve probably brought to our family a whole new understanding to what our daughter suffers with for her 42 years. Hoping she can get tested soon to figure out and feel the relief of knowing these behaviors are due to something, actually 😮😊. Thank you for being so candid and open with all who are searching for answers and help. This may truly serve to be an answer to our prayers
I am much older than you, probably, but you are the first to mention that. It describes me too. When young, not hardly any empathy. Now it has become overwhelming. I can't hardly listen to the news. Or step on a bug, for that matter. Good grief!!!
Same here! I will carefully take a spider outside. I once found a butterfly in a parking lot & picked it up & rested it on my purse & drove it home to fly away in my backyard. Oddly, it stayed comfortably the whole car ride & then flew off in my yard.🦋
OLIVIA, WELL DONE! I was diagnosed at 54. I had spent 40 years trying to work out what was wrong with me. Getting a clinical diagnosis was SOOOOO Liberating. Well done
I went to my GP who makes a referral. I've had to fill out a couple of questionnaires and had to go for a face to face meeting a few weeks ago currently awaiting results
@@Michelle-cj2bm in the UK? Last year I thought about speaking to my GP but knowing how stretched NHS services are (and this was before the pandemic) I didn't want to add to the burden. I am 52 and only realised I was likely on the autistic spectrum a couple of years ago. I looked into going down the private route but could not believe the cost involved ( think it was £2,000) I don't think a diagnosis is really necessary for me now but it would have been useful many years ago. I'm certain now that my late aunt had Asperger's too. I've found that in the last year or so I've become incredibly sensitive to noise which wasn't a huge issue for me before 🤔
@@gillianm9367 yes in the UK. I'm 43 now and it was during the pandemic I asked for a referral in July last years. I was suffering anxiety from all the changes due to lockdown. I had been realising for a few years that I could be on the spectrum so I thought what better time. Even though their resources are stretched I suddenly became desperate for answers, and 6 months on I am awaiting to hear the outcome!
This describes me to a tee. At 52 I am just now figuring out what has been ‘wrong with me’ my whole life and it is great to know that we have a community ❤️
Thank you on behalf of all of us women over 60 who endured cruelty and bullying at the hands of "mostly men" but also insecure women who believed we are a threat because we have ASD. A lifetime of this causes suicide in many, many women. You posting and sharing your experiences give me hope that your generation will survive what so many of us did not. At 61, I now understand myself enough to begin the process of developing self-love and respect. You are saving lives!!! keep up the good work.
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about Dr Oyalo on RUclips and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
I agree, I'm a 52 year old women . Males have been very abusive and i have been extremely depressed. Just a few days ago i filled out papers for Medicaid and I'm still working on papers for disability. I willl be seeing a doctor and counselor. I'm curious to see if they will say im autistic. I just know i am.
I ignore what others say. I was always rejected but have managed to.learn skills and make friends now I'm older at 43. I also found Jesus Christ my savior and have found my identity in him who created me. Human opinion is of far less importance.
To women I was usually a threat, to men I was complicated. My Mom and Dad just thought I was great and loved me. I'm 62 and have struggled with depression for a long time but also have a lot of issues with the sensory thing. My family was very unique and we just accepted each other and our differences. It wasn't always easy but we made it and living our lives.
I am almost 50 years old and this brought tears to my eyes…I see so many of my own traits in this video yet I’ve never even thought I was autistic. Thank you for sharing. 🥰❤️🥰
I'm about your age, and I also think I'm on the spectrum. My father is rather strongly (though high functioning in some ways), and my sons as well are autistic. True that it's quite different for different people. One thing I remember when I was a kid was an obsession with time and synchronizing my watch. I also tended to be very disorganized, not because I didn't want order but because I was so perfectionistic that I would give up organizing altogether. Definitely in my own world socially. Figuring out that this applied to me caused many things about my current and past self to "click" and was helpful for self-acceptance.
Until recently there was no understanding of how women on the spectrum presented, and it's certainly is not included in the diagnostic and statistical manual, so we can't even blame psychologists for missing stuff, because there was no 'stuff' to miss, according to the official, professional documentation. 🤷♀️😥
Jenna I’m 71 and I always knew I was a quirky artist so it was ok fun to be this way but to “know” I am on the spectrum only came to me a few years ago when I realized I am ADD then realizing I’m that and more! It’s all good - nice to know we aren’t alone. ♥️
I've been explaining my newly noticed quirkiness as adult onset ADD for no other explanation. 🤔 I really started noticing issues before I was diagnosed with Hashimotto Thyroiditis.
@@angierunquist128 no such thing as adult onset ADHD. Unrecognised childhood traits that you managed to build strategies for that, as life becomes more complicated and thrtr are more 'balls' to juggle, become harder and harder to manage. 😊
I’m a 62 year old woman and I have lived my life in fear and cloudy and you have just opened my eyes so wide. I don’t know how to express the relief and even a couple of chuckles I got from your video. I always knew I was a diagonal shape in a hexagonal hole. Please keep going. It’s an amazing ,helpful and informative slice of life. Cheers 🥂
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he now respond to orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help. I am Greatful 🙏
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about Dr Oyalo on RUclips and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
I'm 52 and have always felt like what you just said. Only person who ever got me was my best friend, he also had similar traits. He passed away from cancer. I felt my best around my best friend, now I live with someone that is a covert narcisist. Some times i can't function at all.
I’m 19 & honestly you seem so kind & sweet & the tmi can feel weird I get you! But don’t be sorry bc u are opening up to us & it helps us so much! Thank you love x 100. It takes strength to talk about personal things so I really appreciate you
Thank you! I am a retired speech language pathologist and I can understand the traits and the impact on your life. You are very brave, and clearly explained your traits. Education for others is super important and I am glad that I "found" your video. Enjoy what makes you feel free and happy 😊
Oh, wow! That is such a huge compliment and the highest praise I could get. Thank you so much for watching and complimenting me, Sarah! And thank you for helping others like me. You're amazing. God Bless!
@@OliviaHops I agree, therapists in this field are top level amazing but so are advocates like you Olivia 💙🌟 You have just given another female, who's battled a misunderstood & lonely path, the 'umph' I need to find the correct testing & diagnosis, in order for me to have 'triumph' over endless MISDIAGNOSIS. I am pushing 60 ! So there's been plenty !! Thank you for being so candid & I'm so grateful that you are sharing your journey, light 💡and incredible smile 😃 💙Continue being TRUE BLUE for your fellow sisters 💙♀️ And brothers ♂️💙😉
I also have felt these same difficulties in my life. I feel as though I've possibly gone undiagnosed with ASD. Having had anxiety, depression, childhood selective mutism, as well as a very limited diet due to those "texture" issues feel I may have found the reason. Thanks for sharing this video. Feels good to know your not alone. 😊 BTW I'm pushing mid 50s! 🤩🤙🏽
My 21 year old daughter is on the spectrum. Every point you discussed is exactly on point. She is an amazing person. The speech issues are so familiar, she growled instead of talking up until about 3rd grade, still does when having a meltdown. A meltdown, someone who finally understands what that is! I am going to introduce her to your channel because she struggles and has very few, if any, role models or examples of people who are dealing with similar issues.
Hi 29 autistic and you should check out paige layle she Is another autistic creator on RUclips ….she’s also 21 and Talks about autism it might help your daughter
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he now respond to orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help. I am Greatful 🙏
It’s just 7 days and the outbreaks are well treated and unseen. Thank you so much #Autism #Cancer #Herpes for curing my HSV 1&2 completely. 🌱ruclips.net/channel/UC_YFEEZEr1BxGkNg1d4vqww 💙🍀🇺🇸
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now so far it has cured his autism and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now my son is completely free
Neurodivergent here, 68 years old. I experience many of the things you’ve mentioned with the exception of aversion to change and empathy. I first realized I was dyslexic when I attended college and the blackboards literally flipped in front of my eyes. The description of selective mutism was very interesting, I’ve also experienced this. Thank you for posting!
A lot of accessibility groups have worked on developing special fonts for people with dyslexia. The fonts tend to be thicker along the bottom, which supposedly helps to keep letters from flipping and helps people determine which way is correct. They also space out the letters a little more to make it easier to tell what they are. I think it's nice people are trying to develop something that helps.
Yes! I am not alone. I was shamed as a child, rather than helped with my ASD. It helps me greatly to see other women come forward and share how their brain/world differs from what is considered "normal". Thank you so much for sharing. Sincerely, Susan Goforth 💖
Girl! Keep this up! You have no idea how far reaching you could be. I have taught in the public school system in autistic support until recently. I have my own ASD daughter. My daughter is only 10 and the only adult ASD I know is male. I cannot wait to share this video with my husband and then sit together and share it with our daughter. I also cannot wait to see what else you have to offer. You are beautiful and amazing and I wish we were neighbors! Stay strong girl and keep up your efforts!
I have a daughter who is on the spectrum as well. She is 20, has a 2-year degree and works full-time in a warehouse until she can get a job in her area of study (many places require her to be 21). She graduated with honors. She likely got it from me, and I have a master's degree and have been working in customer service for over a decade. Dr. Temple Grandin encouraged me to get my daughter involved in a variety of things so she could expand her horizons. It has been the best advice ever! I wish your daughter the very best!
I had the same thought, namely that this young lady is brave and a delight to listen to. I wish she was my neighbor as well. 😀 This video is 2 years old but I'm glad I found it.
I use this herbs on my son too and it work for me and till now he is still ok and normal. I got the herbs from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism
You're amazing. I'm raising my 14yo grandson, and he presents all 10 areas you described. Due to seeing your video, I'm now going to have him tested. It's so brave and kind of you to share your personal descriptions of how ASD effects you! You just helped my grandson. Keep up the good work!
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he now respond to orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help. I am Greatful 🙏
@@necroflowers2244 A diagnosis isn't someone's "existence". There is nothing being invalidated because there's nothing there of value to begin with. Go clutch your pearls somewhere else u ableist worthless loser.
@@janetrimmel5418 I found Christine's comment amusing as she is including herself in that description. Its good to be in a place where you can laugh at yourself! Looking back over the years I can also see why people might think my behaviour to be 'weird'. What I do think is a terrible shame is that I didn't realise my late Aunt very probably had Asperger's as we used to be baffled by many of her traits though looking back it makes sense to me why I always had a particular affinity with her (having many autistic traits myself). Now many years later I'm the 'weird Aunt' 😁 but grateful for the information available nowadays to understand myself better.
This is the first time I heard about selective mutism, I could never get anyone to understand that I physically couldn't speak. Everyone always thought I was being overly dramatic....
I have experienced selective mutism as well, but I usually don’t relate to people’s explanation of it. For me, it stems from not fully trusting a person’s motives for asking me a question. I’m afraid to answer, based on their history of two-facedness that I have observed from afar.
@@doma3554 I also have experienced that but I never thought it could be this since I related more to my trust issues. That actually makes a lot of sense
I literally had this for a period as a kid. I don't even remember it, but appearantly I stopped speaking to my grandparents for a while. Then I became very odd and anxious later in school. Honestly, I'm probably autistic, and I don't know how my parents never checked it.
@@fromeveryting29 same, my parents particularly my mom just thought something was wrong with me.....but never took initiative to actually do anything about it. I still get pissed thinking about how she could be so clueless.
I can not tell you how thankful I am to have come across your video. It literally has changed my life so much, maybe even saved my life. Before I watched it my confidence couldn't have been any lower. I had come to believe I was just different from the rest of the world. It seem like everyone around me was just so happy and could socialize so easily and here I was akward, uncomfortable, miserable, petrified thinking of the next family get together I would have to attend and having these "childish meltdowns" (as my family would call it). I remember thinking "life is just to hard. I'm never going to be "normal" like everyone else and I just don't have the strength to put into trying anymore." Absolutely no hope and no will to keep going. That's why I believe it had to been God that put your video in my path. Thank you so much for taking the time to make this. Starting with your video, led me to research further and I learned so much. But most importantly I know now that I'm not this weird, malfunctioned, damaged accident that's different from everyone else in this world. I'm me and there's nothing wrong with that.💜🤗
Thank you for talking about your selective mutism. I believe I’m on the spectrum but never had a formal diagnosis. I have been telling people for years “sorry, sometimes I have a hard time getting the words out” and assumed it was connected to anxiety and now that I know selective mutism is a thing, I researched it and omg that’s what I’ve been dealing with. Now I know. Thank you!
@@climatesolutions649 yes, I agree; however, did you watch the entire video? That was/is not her distinguishing characteristic. Selective mutism absolutely happens in extremely young children when they are abused. People need to be careful categorizing others based on "symptoms." It's possible that you are simply a person not comfortable with "public speaking" which is perfectly okay.
Yes some of these traits do cause one to appear childish in their behavior, and in a sense is true. When one is growing up they learn to change or suppress certain kinds of behaviour that they observe as being unacceptable in their social systems. I think that both my wife and I show strong traits of being Autistic. At one point I left a promising life and career path because of feeling out of place in the USA. I was born and lived until I was 5 in Finland but my mother took me to the states with her new husband. I was not good with small talk or the extroverted style of American society. In Finland people keep to themselves, they speak their mind without playing word games (they have difficulty with sarcastic humor). I also had difficulty putting on a smile all the time, and dealing with eye contact. After being away from Finland for 20 years, I took a trip there to visit my father and just felt like I had somehow 'come home'. I then quit my job as the head of a photography department at a newspaper and moved to Finland. I love the country, and the people, but then because of my language problems there I could never really fit in and find the right career path for myself. The point is that I had developed certain social norms by the age of 5 and was not able to change from these until the age of 35 and ended up movin back to my original social environment to feel better about life and myself. Finnish people are for the most part introverted, and this made it the more difficult to socialize or to see the behavious that I should have changed as a child.
Being childish can be a good thing. I was able to relive my own childhood as an adult through raising my children, and experience the childlike wonder on their faces when seeing bubbles or something like that. Even had a friend tell me I had a "childlike wonder about me". It's been a while since I last climbed a tree, I think I was 50. If I can get my strength back I plan to climb trees again. I like doing it and it's fun, why not? Who says I can't do it just because of age? I like stomping in rain puddles and standing in the rain and twirling in circles. When I was younger I thought I had no personality, so I just decided my personality would be "weird". AT family gatherings I found what the adults were doing to be boring, so I hung out with the kids. The men were watching sports and the women were in the kitchen cackling about something or another. I didn't fit in either of those groups.
For me, it was a difficulty learning how to act to be socially acceptable. I was always a step behind. By the time I learned how to act as a kid, I was already an older kid/teen, and so it went. By the time I figured it out, my peers were already on to the next stage.
Thank you so much! I have a co worker who is on the spectrum and I was having a hard time accepting some of her behaviors. I now have so much empathy for it all! I am so grateful💜🙏🏻
Thank you for this video. The way that you described having meltdowns over seemingly miniscule things is exactly what I have experienced throughout my life, but you talked about it without any stigma and that was so refreshing. I never want my close friends or partners to see that side of me (but of course many have), so hearing another person talk about it so openly in their own lives is incredibly helpful for me being able to accept myself.
I’m crying because I relate to everything in this video except for two points and I’m about to be 30 this year. It’s like someone has pulled the film off of my eyes and everything is now clear. I have to go in for a diagnosis now. Thank you!
By the time she got to number 6 I literally turned to my hubby (who wasn’t listening to the video) and explained she was listing her top 10 symptoms and so far she hadn’t listed one that didn’t describe me! Oh what to do with this information.
You have just described my daughter! She was diagnosed at 21. I'm going to use this video to help our extended family understand autism for girls. Thank you for sharing your heart!
This video is so validating. For so many reasons, I doubt my own traits and diagnosis so much because ‘oh I can socialize’ or ‘oh I have strong emotions and am not flat’ or whatever. Thank you for existing out loud and reminding me that we need to be kind to ourselves!
I realize that I can socialize, and even once convinced myself I was an extrovert, because I forced myself into situations to get over my shyness. Drama class in high school, roller derby as an adult. (Made myself sky dive, once, because I was terrified of heights as well.) Ive always felt super awkward, and that no one really liked me, but I thought it was growing up poor that made me feel like an outsider. Realizing how exhausted I am now after having to be around a lot of people or loud noises, WHY I have hated most every job I've ever had, and most importantly, why I stutter or just can't get the words out when I am excited or upset, makes me feel a little less crazy. I never even considered ASD until they started telling me my son might have it, then looked up "adult women with sensory issues." Bingo.
Loved this! Autism in girls needs to be talked about as much as autism in boys. Thank you for the insight and for your positivity ❤️. It’s not a negative thing, we need to put ourselves into your shoes to try and understand you, you don’t have to try and conform and understand us! Beautiful lady
I really liked how you emphasized that autism is a spectrum. We're all different. We're not all like Rainman. And how your dr said it's like saying that a person isn't obese until they're a thousand pounds.
I can't tell you how validating it was to listen to you! I have almost every trait you mentioned here and have been harshly judged in my life because of it. I thought there was something inherently wrong with me and couldn't understand why none of the people in my life ever thought like I do or had the same emotions I do. I think I've finally found my tribe after 57 years. Thank you so much for sharing in such an honest way.
Yes, me too. I'm 51. I read in a few places that some of us older folks have a crisis in their lives that leads us to this realization. I was my mom's caregiver, and she recently passed away. I am having a hard time with her death.
I’m in exactly the same place you are in. No one in my family could ever really relate to me. Don’t get me wrong, I come from a very loving family situation, but, I was different.
Greetings! :D As a girl I’ve been unknowingly on the spectrum, that’s why Im here to say that I officially got diagnosed with autism, in February 2023. Turning 17 this may, so I’ve been wondering why I am so “weird” from ordinary people, for 16 years. - It explains a lot of things, especially what I see differently in my world, and how I handle things in daily life. I’m always a happy person, and see things in very bright colors, almost like a painting in a way. When I get sad the painting looses its color and I get sad for a bit and then back to normal! [Feelings are rather complicated for me, and I usually have a very hard time with recognizing or explain them in a full sentence.] - One particular thing I still struggle with to this day, is I’ve never been able to socially communicate clearly, or at all with other beings except family members, or humans I trust deeply. But more interestingly enough, I’m very good at communicating via text, or commentating my thoughts. - Many people I’ve encountered said I choose different choice of words when typing, more formal and outgoing, if you can put it that way. Teachers liked my particular choice of words, and thinking, and other humans found my wording or short messages pretty complicated or disheartening. - Ive always had a difficult time with noises, such as alarms and other frightening sounds. But the worst ones are especially at parties, lunch breaks at cafeterias, and dinner table conversations. I get overstimulated quickly, and can feel dizzy, even sick at times when it gets too much for my brain. (I would gladly mention more of my thoughts, but I’m afraid that if I do so, I will break RUclips’s commentary bubble field!) Anyhow, if any human being was able to read all this, I thank you for your patience and gratitude, and wish you good luck, success and happiness! :)
omg you just described me. everything you have said i can relate too including the embarrassing gut issues. i had to explain to my doctor how it’s related to anxiety 😒. the pain is unbearable. im so glad you posted this. im 40 and haven’t been diagnosed properly. ive been looking for answers for 30 yrs
Yup.....My skin is sensitive so careful about clothes,have occasional meltdowns, very logical, think people hate me, have both anxiety and depression. Changing routines is brutal
You are incredible and I am so proud of you!! This is the information the world needs to hear! I raised two ASD kids, one female and one male. These characteristics are so common in ASD people. My son was always constipated (ER visits) and my daughter has IBS. Classic! You are definitely not an embarrassment to anyone, you are a shining star 🌟!! Nice video!!
I haven't been diagnosed yet, but I know I'm autistic. Both of my sons have been diagnosed. And, I look back on my life..... I was always the target of bullies, I was painfully shy, I had no friends, and I was considered weird by others.
I feel the same. I was selectively mute for most of the time I was in school. With everything social I learned by watching and imitating others. It took a long time and I’m still awkward but if I had it my way I’d be silent. I also love to be by myself. The plus side of 2020 was that people were away from me, lol. I even worked the whole time. “Essential worker”.
Me too. I’m like 99% sure I have it as well. The 1% doubt is from all those people saying girls can’t have it or you can’t appear “normal” if you have it. I relate to almost every single thing all these women with autism talk about. It’s such a struggle. I’ve even had teachers ask me before if I had it, but my idea was what the media portrays it as (which I now know it’s not), so I was almost offended when they asked me. I was like, why would you think I have that? I’m nothing like that. But after doing extensive research, I am, I am exactly like that lol. I finally made an appointment with a doctor so I can be referred to a psychiatrist hopefully. I’m just so nervous that I’ll end up getting a doctor that doesn’t believe girls can have it
I'm no autistic, but I have an ex spouse who is. I'd like to applaud you for what is a truly lovely, honest and self accepting , self loving presentation about autism and yourself.
"I need alone time like I need air" omg that's me haha, I hate hate hate socializing with people, I go out of my way to hide and I get super irritated when people try to make small talk with me. I need as much alone time as I can get, my dream is to get a job working from home. I'd love to only leave my home like once a week haha. I get physically exhausted from talking, especially if it's a longer or more in-depth conversation. I feel like I need a nap afterwards and I usually shut down for the rest of the day, even though it was just one convo. It's one of the main reasons I don't think I can have kids sadly: I just don't think I can handle losing my alone time, even a little bit of it, which I feel, like you said.. I really need as much as I need air.
Omg, this comment is SO me. It's me to a T 10000%. I could have written it!! Especially the kids part. I don't want kids for the same reason! Also, I have my own business and work from home and it's amazing. I actually really only leave the house once a week lol. I highly recommend!
@@OliviaHops Haha, that's awesome! And I'm glad to hear you're going through the same thing-- I mean, not that you're suffering too lol, but growing up I felt like an alien and never understood why I just couldn't be like other people. I've tried to develop my social skills but have finally just accepted that socializing just IS extremely unnatural for me and I don't think I should have to force myself to be something I'm not, and that's okay. Before I carried a lot of guilt because people assume you're rude or think you have a superiority complex if you're quiet, but trying to please people all the time is just so exhausting and not worth it haha I'm starting to school again this fall and plan on majoring in psychology, I'd really like to get into research but I'm trying to figure out how I can get a career where I can at least be at home most of the time. I think my mental health really needs it, I just can't keep forcing myself to put on faces that aren't mine. I just want to make my home a little sanctuary, filled with lots of plants and pets (apparently keeping lots of pets is something Autistic females tend to do and this I can confirm on my end lol)
Yes!!! This is me. I thought I could never be married or have kids because of this. However, I manage to make it happen every day. Even if when little it’s putting an educational show on so I can be in another room alone to recharge. I have 5 kids and can make this work. Also a husband. I think my husband and kids sometimes wonder how I can be alone so often, but I have to have it to succeed in daily life. Also I’ve never been dx ed with ASD. Though I relate to half of her characteristics.
I feel the same way - but like many girls / women I've been adequate at hiding it. After covid19 caused much& then all of my temp office work to dry up I was excited to learn work-from-home was *finally* acceptable and expected!! 🤙🏽
I believe there is a spiritual component to this. What you’ve described sounds like my childhood. I still have those sensitivities, but I also realize that I am highly sensitive to other people’s emotions (angst, joy, fear, depression), all it it. I cope by avoiding crowded rooms and honoring my intuition when I get a negative feeling about someone. I wonder if autistic people are just in a state of constant sensory overload, processing information that other people cannot even perceive, such that they cannot emote because they are feeling everything from everywhere. When I feel everything from everywhere, I am in a frenetic, sometimes chaotic state. So, it is a delicate balance to be empathetic and present to your environment, while also not being paralyzed by everything else around. I feel like that is always the choice to be made.
I think there is an enormous shamanic component to Spectrum. I don't even put "autism" in "autism spectrum" anymore. To me spectrum is the spectrum of light, the spectrum of interdimensionality, the spectrum of connections that we feel, which are immense. I have come to believe that we are here for a profound reason. 🦍🙏
I am exactly like you. I am overly emphatic, that is why I cannot stay crowded places for too long. I sense feelings of everyone and that is overloads my brain and I have a meltdown if I cannot escape in time.
Wow!! This may be the highest compliment I could ever get! Helping people understand themselves was my goal when I made this video. Thank you so much for letting me know I was able to reach that goal. God Bless!
@@OliviaHops You helped tremendously! "Accidentally" your video popped up in my RUclips feed a month or so ago, and today I received my Official Autism Diagnosis at 55 years. Thank you Olivia! ❤️
I’m 47, shy, weird and introverted is how I just labeled myself growing up. Autism wasn’t talked about back in the early ‘80s. I have all of what you discussed to different degrees and I also think I have ADD. I really don’t feel it’s necessary to tell people because I’ve dealt with my whole life. I might be a pro at the masking thang! I don’t have friends but I can join in to conversation and be social, I just can’t start conversations. I am very content with who I am but I still feel bad because I’d just rather be alone or left to do my job at work than social or with people in groups. Thank you for this video. It has opened my eyes to why I am who I am 🙏🏼😍🤩😍🤩
My daughter is 8 and hasn’t been diagnosed, but is being treated as if she is on the spectrum. I just happened to run across this on RUclips and her traits are so much like yours! Her senses are usually the first thing others notice because she basically eats peanut butter for every mea!, along with applesauces, and cream of wheat. I get vitamins in her by adding Carnation Instant Breakfast, and similar powders in her milk. Also the melt downs, and struggle to get the right words from her mind to her mouth. She, like you, is a beautiful girl, with a bubbly personality, very intelligent, and remembers everything! Thank you for posting this on RUclips! Very much need to see by me!
Seriously though...You are as cute as a bug's belly-button. Adorable & so well-spoken. In this small video, it's apparent your parents loved you to the moon, and they had good moral values. Don't forget to thank them.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and insights as someone living with ASD. Your delayed diagnosis as a woman is comparable to many misdiagnoses for many ailments experienced by women. Thank you again for bringing these insights into the light. Koodos to your boyfriend for sticking by you with all of your doubts and other sensitivities 🌷🌷🌷
Christ I'm in tears. You are a brave beautiful young lady. I have a daughter,(early 20's) that I have suspected may be on the spectrum but I'm at a loss as to how to start a dialogue with her in addressing this. Your parents must be so proud of you.....God bless : )
Olivia, I will say this over and over, You are amazing. So proud of you for owning who you are. Don't ever change that because you are amazing. People need to hear that being different is not a bad thing. It's just that "different", and different is okay. In fact, different can be so much better. Love you Miss Olivia- you go girl.
Thank you so much for the sweet message! It means so much to me. Thank you for watching my video and supporting me. Hopefully I can help other people see being "different" is an awesome thing.
Olivia IS amazing and helping educate people; however, I also feel that it is worth putting in the work to get past some of our limitations. Very late in life, I learned to travel and was forced in to some uncomfortable situations where I was forced to talk to people and to interact a lot more than I was used to, and learn how to ask for help, companionship and even friendship. It turned out to be a real growth experience and very fulfilling and I actually had fun and enjoyed it. Now I’m afraid that when lockdown finally ends I will have struggle to learn that again. There is a danger of becoming TOO accepting of our limitations when you can work around or move past some of them into a world of broader experience.
All of this describes me so much but I've never been diagnosed. I'm 42 years old. Everything I do that seems "normal" required a lot of forcing myself to not seem completely awkward.
I’m 26 and have just started looking into the traits for autism in women….. And it feels like you are delving into my mind and talking about me in this video 😂 Idk of course, I haven’t been diagnosed so it could all be coincidences. 🤷🏻♀️ But thank you for sharing all of this with us! 💕
Atleast ur parents listened to you and cared enough to help you with sensory issues.. As an indian... Indian parents will not care if you are dying... You just have to put up with whatever it is.. Infact if you are sensitive to something.. They will probably do major exposure training until you just give up and accept it. Indian parents are wonderful are they not? I am a highly sensitive and emotional aspie...so its still very difficult.
Hey, I'm Indian and I feel you too. I just self diagnosed a few weeks back. Life hasn't been better, and everything finally makes sense. Find your safe space, and protect yourself from sensory torture. You can also Google up coping mechanisms. Good luck!
Still_here can totally relate, In my case especially my mom, she had beaten me(even as an adult) several times because of my meltdowns and I always thought maybe I deserve this or maybe I'm just overreacting but now as I finally got to know I'm on spectrum, just thinking about it.. hurts so much how badly I was treated by them let alone outside world. I'm in my early twenties and God knows what's to come next
I'm Indian too, and yeah, my parents never understood why I was so sensitive. They always yelled at me for crying, which only made me cry more because I couldn't understand why I couldn't just stop. They just thought I was being immature and too sensitive. I think my parents are relatively progressive as far as Indian parents go (e.g. I'm bi and they totally accept that) but this is one of the things they're really inflexible on. Ironic, considering my mom is a psychiatrist.
yeah im (self diagnosed) possibly autistic, indian, and female and i've always been overstimulated by noise, ex: fireworks made me cry and ive always gotten in trouble for overreacting
I was diagnosed last year at the age of 50 and I'm still learning about autism and me. Watching this helped me with some of my own difficulties. I never knew about the link with gut issues.
Male w/ ASD here, I got diagnosed w/ ASD + ADHD when I was 38 (I'm 44 now), and it was both a shock but also a "well that explains a lot of things" moment. I relate to many of these things, and I can tell you at least in my experience it has gotten easier w/ age, I used to be a lot less flexible, had more meltdowns, etc., and I can give a few tips that have helped me, maybe they'll help you or anyone else reading: Weighted blankets and blackout curtains are the bomb for sensory issues As far as I can tell, the challenge w/ routines changing or things out of order, is the spontaneity of it, it's the realization your GPS is off course and you didn't plan for the detour, and so then mentally you're scouring the entire state map, not just your neighborhood, trying to figure out where you are and that is hugely anxiety inducing. That's actually where MOST of the corresponding anxiety comes from - difficulty in processing "how much has changed" and "which of the things that I thought were irrelevant are now relevant?" - the autism answer more often than not is "all of it", which is basically the "freeze response" of a prey animal, your body reacts exactly the same way - cortisol goes up, etc., and stay in that state too long (or your whole life) and you get gut issues, ibd, autoimmune problems, etc. So, a couple things that help the anxiety: First, when you hit that "I'm off course" feeling and start panicking, switch to identifying all of the things that HAVENT changed - maybe the seating assignment has changed, but look around - still the same number of desks, the same posters are on the wall, the wall color is the same, etc., - that will help your brain realize that it's only off course by a few miles and not the other side of the globe. Second, practice thinking of what could be different in advance. Something like, "in class tomorrow, what could be different? We could have a substitute teacher, maybe we have a new student, maybe the seats have changed", etc., and then come up with a plan for each thing: "If we have a new student, then, I'll say "hi, nice to meet you"", if you have a plan in advance, then you're not coming up on the fly which is where most of that anxiety comes from. For empathy, I've gotten better at that via lots and lots of stories, particularly narrative-focused video games. Reason being, is that in a movie or book, you're feeling empathy for the other character, but in a game, you're experiencing the emotions directly. So, playing a sad game where the main character gets sick and dies, or is an orphan looking for their parents, etc., I've been able to embody that directly, and then extrapolate those feelings w/ other people more easily.
@@suziegrinwis5512 No problem, and they can be a side effect of any condition where you are anxious a lot, b/c anxiety is supposed to be a response for "fight, flight or freeze" emergencies. We have those systems in our brains as carryovers from evolution from prey animals that freeze, like deer. So when you have that freeze/panic response, your body produces cortisol, "the stress hormone" and what cortisol does is it tells the body to pause bodily functions that aren't needed in an emergency, and use that energy instead to boost your muscles and senses, so you can see danger and run faster. Sleep is one of those systems, which is why if you're drowsy and get startled, you're instantly wide awake and can't go back to sleep for a few minutes until the cortisol wears off. Digestion is one of the systems that gets deprioritized during stress since the last thing you want to worry about if you're being chased by a bear is having to go to the bathroom. Your immune system is also deprioritized for the same reason, if you have a cold and are being chased by a bear, it's better for your body to stop worrying about the cold, run like hell away from the bear, and then worry about the cold later And all that makes sense biologically since those responses first evolved from being chased by predators that wanted to eat us, but, they don't work too well for modern civilized life. So, with all of those systems being affected, if you have any situation where you are constantly anxious a lot, those systems go all to hell and don't work well, and it wrecks havoc on the body. Hope it helps!
Wow, so well explained!! It made things so much clearer. I’m not so great at managing the meltdowns but I’m going try some of your tips for sure! I am 57 & was only diagnosed recently... I didn’t know what was wrong with me but seems I have subconsciously been trying to reduce anxiety all these years by ‘planning’ in advance every word, thought, action in my life. Now I know why I do that! Did you read any good books that gave you that enlightenment or did you just feel your way through it?
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he now respond to orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help. I am Greatful 🙏
This is great information. Thank you for putting yourself out there. I’m 51 years old and have many of the same traits. Interestingly, I had a stroke when I was 48 and some of my sensitivity issues went away. The brain is wild and wonderful!
Your video has me in tears. I have these traits too (though my GI traits are different). Seeing that someone else has gone through the same things… it makes me feel normal, in a sense. I’ve never felt that before. I was diagnosed neurodivergent in my mid 30s, but listening to you made me realize I’ve had these traits since I was very young - but no one named it. Thank you so much for sharing your story ❤️
I’m 65 and I have had all the same traits all my life but always felt and feel so off. Except my meltdowns are all internal. And my constipation went away once I discovered coffee! You’re such a lovely young woman. Congratulations on learning about your diagnosis on your journey of self-discovery. Thank you for helping people like me understand ourselves.
Finally! I've heard you describe me so well! I am 69 years old, and cannot believe I am just hearing this for the first time! My son is autistic and he is 48 years old, I had no idea that I was too just a few different traits and a different Spectrum! Thank you so much! You are a beautiful person inside and out! Everyone will be listening to you!
I was diagnosed with severe manic depression and anxiety, it’s very interesting I had always thought I was a little strange compared to all my friends and it was really hard making friends because I was considered antisocial. Having watched your video has kind of open my eyes to maybe why I have had all the issues in my life I have had we share a lot in common and hopefully this can help me move forward with working on how to deal with some of my issues a little better I wouldn’t really even called him issues because I’ve had them for so long it’s just second nature at this point but hoping you know what I mean. Thanks for the content. Very awesome and you seem like a sweet beautiful woman.
I had my diagnostic at 17 as a child I used to have OCD and anxiety I also self harm, I could play with other children but prefer to play alone, I had a lot meltdowns but mostly because my parents were intolerants and ignorants
The selective mutism trait really spoke to me, as that often happens to me when dealing with difficult conversations. What I’ve found helpful is journalling to become better at expressing myself in general, and also when I do go mute to type up what I am feeling or write it down. The words flow more easily that way. I hope this helps! 😊❤️
I'm 67 and can identify with all 10 traits especially wanting a hermit existence and being awkward in social situations.and finding it hard to express myself. Never been diagnosed
Thank you for being brave, and expressing to the world that this affects girls/women as well. I am HSP as well, and my daughter is showing me how we are both in the spectrum. My life has been extremely hard. I grew up in the 70s, and autism was unheard of. And if you were in the spectrum, society seems to think it goes away when you become an adult. I am extremely logical too. And felt and still feel people don’t like me. Intestinal problems too. I do not have a short term memory either. Thank you again for sharing.
Wow, I literally have every one of these symptoms except for the meltdowns, and different gut issues. I was about 37 when I was diagnosed with ADHD (55 now). I wonder now if I was properly diagnosed. Either way, it’s a great comfort to know one is not alone in their struggles and we’re more “normal “ than we think. Oh…and what a beautiful smile!
I was just diagnosed with ADHD as well. I have learned that ADHD is one of the top comorbidities of ASD. But ASD is not at the top of the list for ADHD...if that makes sense!
Was diagnosed with ADHD myself in my 30’s(54 now) and I kind of wonder too. My son is on the spectrum and I can relate to a lot of these, including the gut issues and the meltdowns(which I have managed to learn how to control over the years.)
@@warriormama67 ive learned how to eat to help with the gut issues. After being highly embarassed as a child by nurses comments around my awful constipation & them laughing about my hard pebble poo rolling in a bed pan I learned to compensate However i still get so prickly sensitive to noises,smells, fabrics & peoples words, voices & attitudes ..that i have to be so caregul not to loose it & have meltdowns.
@@Westofhearts7 I am sorry you had to deal with those insensitive nurses. Apparently they are in the wrong profession if that’s how they treat any of their patients, especially a child. That’s just awful. I still find it hard at times to control myself when facing certain triggers, especially people’s attitudes. It is very, very difficult, and TBH, I come very close to slipping at times. So yeah, still working on it.😅
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he now respond to orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help. I am Greatful 🙏
The gut issues and the meltdowns have me really believing I'm autistic. I was diagnosed with adhd butI have traits that are not adhd at all and so it's had me doing research and seeking therapy to figure out whats wrong. Thank you for making this video. I'm definitely going to mention it to the therapist. Maybe I'll finally have all the answers to why I feel I don't belong anywhere in the world.
@@husdry6874 Totally wrong! I’m considered friendly and outgoing, but I need my alone time desperately and dread social situations even though I don’t want for other people or friends to think I’m not enjoying myself.
@@kathygordon1131 and I'm like you :) being introverted does not necessarily go hand in hand with unsociability! I'm very sociable, partying and seen as an extrovert by my friends but what makes me an introvert is this need to find myself alone to recharge my batteries, and that feeling of being tired after social interactions.
Wow, I have many of the traits you talk about. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, Bipolar, and several other things but never felt they were correct. I am in my mid 50s now and have done my best to get by all these years. Bless you for sharing. My niece was diagnosed with aspergers and I see a lot of the same issues in myself. You are amazing, never forget that! 💙😎
Omg when you said "Everybody hates me" I choked on my salad!!! I have always felt that way and I was shocked when I was looking thru a couple of my yearbooks and saw all of the sweet things that had been written in there. I figured everybody at school hated me. I have IBSD so - gut issues which I've had forever, and so many of the other things that you talked about. Thank you so much for all of the info and for sharing your experience.
Selective mutism is something I've tried to find a name for for a very long time. I remember getting in trouble as a kid when I wouldn't answer questions during stressful moments. I could feel the words in my throat, but never could get them to come out. I would tell this to others, but they'd never understand.
I feel I was that way as well growing up. Very interesting this "selective mutism" I would clam up and not speak but get angry if somebody called me shy.
You are just so beautifully candid and incredibly charming with an ability to express yourself with such eloquent, articulate and concise words. Thank you for these posts!
I love that you said your sense of smell is your most debilitating sensory issue. This is 100% me and my bf makes me feel like crap about it constantly. I wish that some people could experience it just for one day. I am so sick of being treated like I'm just whiny and making a "thing" out of nothing.
Talk about this to ur bf, sit him down and explain how u feel. If they don't listen or try and understand u then they dont deserve to be in ur life 🤷♀️
If I'm driving down the road and someone in another car nearby is smoking, I can smell the smoke from inside my own car. With the windows up, not open.
This is so good and so very informative. I taught high school for 28 years, and I wish I'd been more aware of these traits. I somewhat resent that with all of the many trainings I sat through, nothing this practical was ever presented that could have perhaps helped me better understand some of my female students. Thank you!
@Sandy Taylor 28 years ago I had never heard of autism It's only after a certain triple injection for babies and toddlers that autism raised its ugly face.x
@@janeyd5280 It's probably been around longer, it just wasn't recognized. Our society keeps getting busier & busier and more and more hectic. We aren't able to hide it or adapt as much as the previous generations. I'm about to turn 43 and recently diagnosed. Both my parents have it, but it was never diagnosed/recognized. They are in their 70s. From my memories of their behavior, I suspect some of my grandparents were autistic too. It's been around for a while, just hidden. Back in their day they just called them reclusives and moved on.
Thank you for sharing this. It's very pleasant to hear that you care. I'm through school and try to work with my kids' teachers and so many don't care to hear or understand. Helping them cope is just too much trouble apparently.
@@janeyd5280 I'm 51 and I knew about autism when I was a child. Just because you didn't personally know about it doesn't mean it didn't exist. What most people probably didn't realize about autism until recently is that it's a spectrum and that not all autistic people are like Rain Man or spend their whole days sitting in a corner spinning plates. In fact, I just looked it up, and the first time that autism was described in a clinical setting was in 1943. The first time it was recognized as a developmental disorder was around 1980, and it was first identified as a spectrum around 1994. The science of autism, like any science, has grown and changed throughout the years. None of that means that autism didn't exist before it was described in these ways; it only means that our understanding of autism is constantly evolving. The MMR vaccine is not responsible for autism now, nor was it ever.
At 70 yrs old, I was the “weird old lady who lives at the end of the road” as neighbours would describe me. Not one doctor knew what I was going through on a daily basis and I was labeled antisocial. Nowadays, even though doctors know better about the disorder, any doctor I go to refuse this diagnosis for me due to my age, saying it’s never been documented in my medical file therefore it’s not what I have. They choose to stick with what was previously diagnosed…”unsociable and irate”. Very disheartening to me. But, fortunately, my daughter and granddaughter are diagnosed properly on the spectrum.
Your first and last mistake is going to a doctor. What the hell does he know about you? You've been with you all your life. You would know. Trust yourself
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now so far it has cured his autism and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now my son is completely free
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about Dr Oyalo on RUclips and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
I'm so sorry. Hopefully you can accept who you are whether doctors describe you in the way that makes most sense or not.
@Wesley Hinson what herbs are those? It would help if you share specific The names and how taking them. Thanks for your help.
You are NOT embarrassing anyone dear. You are lovely. Your boyfriend is not a poor boyfriend. Your family is not a poor family. They are lucky to have a wonderful young lady in their lives.
💜💜💜
Anne Miller lovely comment.
Amen to this!!! 💕
I wanted to say the same thing! Your family is lucky to have u! You are a blessing to so many.
could not be better said! and we are lucky to have your comment here.
My wife has Asperger’s. As challenging as it has been she brings so much positivity to our marriage. She is SUPER organised, admirably truthful, amazingly proactive and I trust her with my life. ❤
That's so sweet! God bless you both! 🙏🏻
Aawwee that is so sweet!!!! Omg good for y'all💕😃😁💕
Glad you have a trusting relationship like that
I’m late to the party but this brings so much hope! My husband and I are coming to terms with my recent diagnosis and about to have our first child in a few weeks.
@@brainsy8697 Good luck to you both and congratulations!!
As the father of an autistic little girl, I applaud your courage to make this video and opening up about your struggles. My daughter is 4 and she's my world. It's hard to communicate with her, but thankfully someone like you who is older can express so clearly how you feel and how you think because it helps me understand her a lot more. Thank you so much and you are a great young lady!
these are symptoms, not traits and they are male and female symptoms alike not just female symptoms.
You sound like a great dad! I just wanted to add that not all autistic people are the same when it comes to sensory stuff etc....one person may be hypersensitive to touch (needing thin comfortable clothing) while another person might be hyposensitive to touch and not notice when they have their shoes on the wrong feet or clothes inside out, and some (like my daughter) can be BOTH hyposensitive and hypersensitive to touch causing some things to bother them immensely (like tighter waistbands) while they are oblivious to other things (like having their pants on backwards)....it can seem contradictory and make no sense at all sometimes lol. And it's like this with all the senses. I would just say pay attention to your daughters cues and believe her when she tells you in her own way that something is bothering her. If you do that, you'll be miles ahead of most parents (unfortunately). Lastly as someone who was once a neurodivergent child herself, thank you so much for truly caring about your daughters experiences and taking the time to learn about her. It's going to make such a huge difference in her life!
@@chewyjello1 thank you for such encouraging words! She's now 5, and never ceases to amaze us with her incredible intelligence. I couldn't be more proud of her ❤️
@@chewyjello1 you cannot just diagnose someone with autism and say its not the same
"I need alone time like I need air" I've never related to something more!
I'm so glad I could resonate with you!!
Same. Different ways of putting it but they're not usually quite enough, but I think this saying really 'hits the nail on the head.' If I want some kind of company, I'll seek it out, but after... whatever amount of time my brain/body decides it's done, it's done. I need it, I want it, I'm quite happy with alone time, and much more than the 'average person' which is what worries my mum. I really, really value my alone/time-whenever I'm able to get a job again, or any life decisions, that's a big thing for me-I need a lot, and I like my alone time far more than I guess a lot of people do. I don't want to, and it isn't a good idea for me, to sacrifice that.
I'm perfectly happy being by myself; something that has always bothered my family. But I could not and cannot explain it to mum in a way she will understand or think is 'enough'. The 'typical/proper/recommended amount' of social time or whatever, I/my brain doesn't care about that, doesn't NEED that, despite how often my mum would insist its healthy. Sure, a little on my terms that I can leave or exit whenever I'm done, is great but. Say 100 is the max/reaaaally social, recommended is at least 40%... I'd be a, idk, 10%. Maybe less. Even online, I'll just at times kind of. Not talk to people for months sometimes... some 'friends' we are still 'friends' on different sites, but we haven't talked in years, it's just kind of 'there' to pick up whenever is the first one to do it.
I dunno. I don't feel unhealthy or whatever... people are still there, I'll talk to them when I feel comfortable or with enough energy and stuff-it's just far, far less than other people. I get super tired and done and grouchy no matter how much I'm supposed to like the person, when I've had enough-and it's not like it's very consistent either; just that it's not a long time at all.
Losing wherever I was trying to go with this so... yeah lol.
Me too ❤
I’m going to remember this way of describing it! I usually say that for every hour of socializing, I need one hour of alone time.
Me too
You have described my daughter. She was recently diagnosed ASD. Several of our family members are denying the diagnosis, basically because she isn't their idea of Autistic. We are struggling because when she speaks or acts in the ways comfortable for her, they want to fit her in the neurotypical mold and will scold or discipline her for being rude or not paying enough attention. I just want to teach her to be herself and see how awesome she really is
My daughter was diagnosed in 3rd grade officially. It took quite a while to get an accurate diagnosis. She’s 19 and I still find myself explaining her diagnosis and what it means for her. I have always advocated for her to be polite so we did have a lot of OT and therapy to teach coping skills and I learned many ways to support her so she could enjoy life on her terms.
Wonderful Mothers! I can feel your love ❤️ for your children
#Ausome
Families do tend to do that, my two sons mask because of that, family would scold my kids and they were mainstream schooled so learned to "be" like a normie, like a neurotypical, that is very exhausting for them, they sleep after school from masking and holding it together to fit in the box all day, l wish more people were educated on ASD and understand the spectrum better. I read a comment on a Disney Princess video claiming Autistics to be violent maniacs that are a danger to the actors, this is what we're up against, people learn rubbish "facts" off of shorts clips with zero details and then people assume the worst. It's pure ignorance and really sad.
Can someone help me understand if I might be autistic? Of course I won’t auto diagnose my self, just wanted to understand if I might be.
Ok ok on the bus I ALWAYS sit in front in the window seat and when I have to sit anywhere else it’s very uncomfortable for me but I do it anyway because I don’t wanna disturb anyone and I’m scared they might get pissed
I don’t like the feeling of dishes, water types of clothes, types of materials and it’s just uncomfortable
sorry to write about this but in the video she says something about poop XD and I’m having the same problem, plus I SWEAR I didn’t know you have to poop everyday wot- (anyway sorry for bringing this topic)
even tho most people always see me as empathic I’m actually always confuse on what people are feeling and go by instinct, hoping
I struggle a lot with hygiene
I also find my self always confused, I mean constantly, now as well and I don’t know why
I have LOTS of interest in topics that might result complicated or unusual? Even tho I kind of have a memory problem (I think because of my anxiety, depression and adhd/add) and therefore I often forget everything.
Just saying one time I forgot I had online friends once, or when someone talks I sometimes immediately forget what they said ecc…
soon I might be diagnosed with ADHD/ADD does this mean there’s a chance I might also have autism?
This is everything that comes to mind for now, sorry for any English or grammar error
Ten Traits Covered in this Video-
1) Heightened Senses
2) Mental Illnesses
3) Inflexibility (Routine)
4) Difficulty/Dislike Socialising
5) Selective Mutism
6) Black/White Thinking
7) Gut Issues
8) Good Long Term Memory
9) Meltdowns
10) Empathy
P.S.- It is not necessary to have all these traits.
LOL I have all of these 😅 thanks for the list ☺️
I have 4 8 and 10 but the most irritating is the socializing thing i like but nearly always very Boring
Hey wow. All of these. Except for the last - I perhaps over empathize. There isn’t an easy example that doesn’t make me look like a giant jerk, but like the “finish your plate, there are starving children in Africa” trope…I am the kid who tucks away a portion and mails it labeled “to: starving children in Africa”
@Demian ALIKA please stop spreading misinformation. Autism is NOT curable. Especially not with some herbs.
@@purplecat1691 you are wrong. Sorry.
I cried when you mentioned the meltdowns. I remember getting them pretty frequently when I was in high school (and looking back now I see them when I was even younger), but my mother told me "the real world doesn't deal with this kind of bullshit". Ever since then, I've tried incredibly hard to never show the world or my family my "bullshit". I've been denying a potential autism diagnosis because every time I bring it up, my parents deny it, since my ADHD is far more prevalent. I think it's time I go to the psychiatrist. Thank you
Amen! I feel ya! I'm 64 & I don't have to explain myself to anyone. This sounds so terrible, but it's great to know I'm not the only one like this & I AM NORMAL! Well, for me.
I know what you mean about family. My family would never have put up with and didn't put up with my differences when I was a kid. It's okay to go to the psychiatrist. I had the same stigma attached to it because of the way I was raised.
I feel bad for you😢 get yourself a dx and treatment plan
Me too! I need a Dx!
I feel identified with u with the need of having a dx and the feeling of your family not being empathetic :( in my case they told that in the future I'll have "more important things to worry about" and they try to understimate my feelings comparing them to ppl who suffer about "worse" things than what I go through like those problems were stupid. It's hard to hide what's always there right to your side
😊 Yep, that's me, 81 years old. Although I prefer to call it a "difference" rather than disorder. Learning to navigate through life with skills and awareness, and mostly acceptance that this is what I have to function with is healthy. Thank you so much for speaking out to bring understanding and awareness of these unique qualities, it is so helpful to everyone. EMBRACING WHAT IS WITH LOVE. 😊💜 We can be our own Best Friend.
I love everything your comment said!! I, too, like to call autism a "reorder" instead of a disorder 😁💜
@@owyn4126 Love everything you said and "reorder" is perfect. Best wishes to you. 😊💜
Hear, hear!!
atypical or 'atyp' is my descriptor. heightened senses, definitely. zero tolerance for the 'weight' of nail polish or makeup, just one example. diagnosed at age 17, never had intervention or assistance, just took the diagnosis as a task. now approaching 80, i've become better at passing for a normie....
Me too. Getting frustrated with my aging life. No diagnosis. Medicare probably won't cover testing.
"I need my alone time, like I need air" thank you for sharing the spectrum
9:07 ... maybe not thank you for sharing this one though lol.
A freaking men. After a day of work around other people it feels like I need a week to decompress.
My late husband suggested each evening that I have alone time with my sewing machine. He found that was a great way for me to recover from the day. I totally understand what you mean when you say that it's like breathing
@Digby Dooright My mother used to say to me...."you should live in a world by yourself." I like being alone. I need to be alone. I guess I am very self absorbed.
@@beauty23ish I may be crazy but I don’t think it’s always a bad thing, to want to have time alone. Especially the way the world is these days! I always joke about when my kid is in school that’s my “me time” but truth is, I’m not joking, I need my me time, and when schools out, I’m always telling one of them up there at school they don’t care about my me time!
Thank you Olivia. That describes my 13 year old daughter exactly. Desperately trying yo get her diagnosed over here in the UK. She has a hard time at school.
Seeing you all cheery and positive has made me feel happier.
I was dx with ADHD, PTSD, anxiety and depression at 40. Found out last year I had ASD when I was 43. I am multitalented, forgetful, blunt, mush mouth, logical, and hyper-vigilant. My ASD needs routine, but my ADHD makes it hard to maintain them.
You just described me! 🤩
…..and me but never got a diagnosis even at 63
Holy cow. I'm 64 & have seriously been wondering what is happening to me. It sounds so familiar.
This describes me and what I’ve been struggling with and couldn’t figure out why. I’ve been researching and testing for autism and am trying to get a diagnosis. So many years I’ve have some traits from what I strictly remember from childhood that was apparently not “normal”. But the structure is what I’m trying and really wanting to get a hold of.
I’m 23 btw and found out about this about 2 years ago.
When I was going through my diagnosis, my psychologist said, "It is time to get busy being you" I was tired of masking at that point.
Love that saying!! Thank you for sharing!!
@@OliviaHops Hi Olivia, thank you so much for opening up in this video and sharing! I am 68 years old, and I watched this for my son (who I thought might have borderline autism)... and found myself! This ties it all together for me and helps me to understand myself much better! I will watch it again and start reading up on it.... again, THANK YOU!
They sound like a good psychologist
I was told if you are depressed, clean
But how can you go anywhere in life without masking? Not trying to call you out, genuinely want to know.
You described most of the things about me. I am almost 60 years old and have been called: antisocial, over sensitive, extremely picky about my food, my clothes (the way they feel on my skin), my sense of smell, having items be in there spot, items lining up(lines on a rug lining up with the floor lines)- I took it all personally like no one liked me or I annoyed most people. I stay away from social situations because they exhaust me.I have very few friends and o am fine with that. I have finally realized I have ASD and have been this way since I was very young. I have learned to cope with most things about myself and my ‘turned up ‘senses, but the biggest thing for me was accepting me as this is who I am . I am different and unique. Self acceptance is the biggest issue anyone has with this or any other type of disorder you cannot change. Love yourself no matter what, and learn to be ok with your ‘unique gifts’. ❤️
I'm a late diagnosed autistic female and whole my life I've had a feeling that people in general dislike me (at first I've thought that's because I'm overweight, then because I'm a bad person, then because of my disorder). And only after your video I've understood that I don't see joy on people faces not because they are upset, but because of my "mimic blindness". It's so relieving to finally at the age of 33 know that the world doesn't actually hate me. Thank you!
When you said “I always think everyone hates me” I totally resonated with that. Every time I meet someone new, I think they dont like me and my friends are like “what do you mean? Of course they liked you!” I just don’t know how to tell if they liked me or not
Me too - I am so bad at it. Also when she mentioned about remembering faces but not names I was like, oh, that's new. I can remember faces really well but names not so much. I can also remember architectural layouts of old houses I use to live in and schools I went to (all of them, not just one) all of them.
At least you HAVE friends.
@@notdeadyet2338 I am lucky to have a best friend and 2 other close friends. I know it’s not a lot, but I’m grateful for them. My original comment maybe made it seem that I have tons of friends which I definitely do not, but I do have a few
@@notdeadyet2338 I only have two.
Same!! My boyfriend always has to be the one to tell me that I was liked and my brain is just playing tricks on me.
I was an elementary teacher for 16 years. In my last year I had a female student diagnosed with ASD. Your insights are wonderful and hope they will help many others. May God bless you for your courage and honesty to share and help others.
I’m a 28 year old female who’s currently waiting to get help and get diagnosed.
I’ve been struggling my whole life with social situations, mental illness and just being a “normal” human being.
Everything you said in this video felt so relatable to me. I actually started crying because it got so overwhelming (in a good way). Thank you so much for making this video!
Im in the same situation right now, I’m almost 27 though! This makes me feel so seen honestly lol.
I'm in the same boat and I'm 39.
@@emily3 hey we're close in age! Hello peer group. I seriously related a lot to these examples she listed. I'm glad this is out there. Funny enough since this video is 2 years old I think the presenter is 26 too lol. Close to it anyway.
Same, I'm 37. I dont know if a diagnosis will help at all. My husband will think it's a convenient excuse for my actions over the past 18 years we've been together...smh...I'm probably still gonna ask my gp but I dont even know what I'm going to have to do to get the diagnosis. If it has anything to do with remembering past events....I'm screwed.
I am watching it now. I see one traiy I have isn't on the list, but maybe I missed it. Executive functioning. Or the lack thereof
Self diagnosed from the wealth of information on RUclips, my 'Covid lockdown' was filled with research into my lifelong differences to 'normal' people. Aged 72 now, it's been really interesting consciously monitoring my speech/thoughts and responses when talking to people. And, how refreshing to hear how Olivia describes her own journey. These videos will help thousands of people. Well done Olivia 🙂
Same here. Very weird, eh?
Thank you I can relate what you have said I've never diagnosed.did ask gp about it but they did nothing about it.😢
One more label to collect.
You were right, but even beyond thousands, her video got 2.3 million views so she’s helping millions of people!!
@@DanniBby She is a fabulous young lady 🙂
This brought me to tears! I have a six year old little girl who is my life and I’ve been struggling since her diagnosis 3 years ago to make her life as easy and accessible for her as I do for her older neurotypical sister. Seeing you allowed me to imagine a beautiful future for my darling. Thank you so very much for this. 😭
😭💕this comment made me tear up, too! Indeed you are truly God’s light for your daughters. Bless you.
(I agree, this video means a LOT to me as well. Like you, Olivia is full of noor ✨so beautiful mashallah)
MashaAllah ❤️
😢😢😢
Your little girl is going to have a brilliant and very full life. Especially with you and her mom.💖
I completely agree. I have a 5 year old and seeing her has been inspiring. If our daughter grows up to be like you we would be so proud. This is helpful, especially the one about poop. What do you do now to help. Do you do CBT
Feeling a bit less lonely.
Everybody wants to be so unique and all I want is to be like everybody else...
Beautiful how are you
Truth is we're all one of a kind, it gets lonely at times in life I think.
Totally true!
OMG you don't even know how many times I've wished I was "normal'.
I have learned "Normal" is a dryer setting, and feeling alone means you were born to stand out! Love and Hugs💞
So beautiful! As a neurotypical person I learned so much from your video and I definitely empathize with some of your struggles. It reminded me that if we can be a little more generous with people's needs and differences, humans could be so much happier as a whole. It was so beautiful to see you confidently state your strengths and struggles. No one should ever have to apologize for what they need to be their best selves, even if it is different than what people feel like that should look like. Most people don't even try. I hope you keep finding answers and ease. You have brought us all a bit closer, and made the world a bit kinder with this video.
Very helpful response!
Nicely said and I agree 💯
Awesome!!!!!!
When I was a baby, I was diagnosed with ASD and never talked until I was in the 1st grade. I completely relate to the sensory issues-especially noise. I can't STAND loud noises. And my alone time is so wildly accurate! I stay in my room for hours a day! I also have mutism as well. I also hate socializing, but I have to. And I also get angry for little things. I’m still ashamed of who I am, but not as much anymore. I'm bullied because of my autism, and I’m in middle school, so I can't get mad over things when people are around because they will make fun of me. Thank you.
You shouldn’t feel ashamed for who you are ❤the struggle are real
I found high school easier than middle school. In middle school everyone wants you to be the same. But in high school most people tend to stick to their group and allow everyone else to be different. Unfortunately, some bullies never mature. You, on the other hand, should accept your many great characteristics and love yourself despite any trouble spots. Everyone, I mean everyone, struggles at something.
@@lovemyhoney1352 or, struggles with somethingSSS
I find that meditation apps help me greatly. Brainwave for when I’m out and about(forest background sound), Solfeggio(cheaper app)or Mesmerize(expensive)when I’m stressed. I was bullied so badly that I left school(as a highschool freshman), but I regret it. Those people really don’t matter. If I could go back in time I would take yoga and a martial arts class. Then I would get a headstart on being in shape physically and mentally and be able to defend myself. One girl threatened to beat me up(for no reason). So if you’re able to, I suggest that. Tai chi classes are harder to find, but good for self defense and destressing.
I’m so sorry you are teased. I promise once you get out of school real life is nothing like it. I have adhd and so do 2 of my kids. Mine is actually getting worse with age. I’m so impatient! I have an issue with repetitive noises or movements. They drive me up the wall! So I understand a lot of how you feel. As a mom it makes me mad those kids are mean to you. They should know better. Obviously their parents aren’t raising them to be good people. I hope it gets better for you! Also middle school is much harder than high school so hang in there!
1. Sensory issues
2. Anxiety/ Depression
3 Inflexibility
4. Not sociable (limited)
5. Selective mutism (cannot speak at times)
6. Logical thinking- black and white no grey areas
7. Gut issues
8. Superior long term memory/ Poor short term
9. Meltdowns
10. Empathy- putting self in other peoples shoes, comes off insensitive.
How are you being treated? Any medications to help with anxiety or depression?
Forget about meds. Work on your issues yourself. It's the only way to get long lasting benefits as opposed to becoming addicted to a quick fix pill.
First of, make friends with your anxiety and understand that the anxiety is not you and it doesn't define you. Stop identifying yourself with it. You have control over it.
Embodiment therapies/techniques can really help grounding back into your body, away from the busy, scattered mind.
Meditation. Sit in silence for a few minutes a day, this will create mind space and a sense of expansion whether anxiety feels oppressing instead.
Walks in nature. Again, it's expansive and revitalising.
Exercise! It just works.
Stay connected to the people you know care about you. Keep the important friendships and family relations alive, so you don't feel a sense of disconnection with the outside world.
I can think of so many other ways. JUST NOT DRUGS nor any other form of plain escapism.
Dance in your living room, disconnect from social media, crafts, painting, cooking..... the list go on.
@@anaguerrerosholisticwellbe2788 Some people need help from meds in addition to what you are recommending.
@@waterdragon5418 I'd recommend meds for a crisis, to stabilise the patient. But a regular practice, unfortunately, is that doctors keep patients on meds for longer that's necessary. It's not their fault; it's cultural. We live in the age of pop-a-pill to mask the symptoms rather than working on the issue from a holistic perspective. Meds are ok but should never be a long term option, unless absolutely necessary for the survival of the patient. In my opinion.
What an incredibly irresponsible, self-righteous, privileged and ableist take.
The level of audacity one must have, to come onto the page of an Autistic person and pill-shame; in a space created by and for the Autistic community and for education, through sharing their specific Autistic experience.
Welcoming yourself to shame the creator as well as community of autistic, chronically ill, depressed, anxious, disabled+ for choosing the medical treatments that work for them is not only infantilizing, it is beyond careless, dangerous even. Though I will add this statement remains true in *any space, digital or physical, including your town farmers’ markets, yoga studios or even privately owned “wellness” center. Please do not continue to perpetuate such harmful rhetoric.
It is one thing when people ask for advice, for you to share knowledge of the possible benefits of a holistic approach. To which people can decide for themselves, and along with their caregivers/medical team, if they would like to try adding to their treatment regimen.
Leave out what others should eliminate from their medical care and frankly their lives. That is not your business!
It is wholly unacceptable to encourage, suggest or tell people that they ought to discontinue, stop or never begin medical treatment in and way shape or form, unless you are their MD and are highly trained in their condition.
It is flat out rude to assume anyone wants your medical/health/“wellness” advice, in any capacity, but especially just because they are sharing their vulnerable experiences.
Not only is it highly presumptuous of you to assume that you know more than them, but you are now also assuming you know them better than they know themselves, that you know their condition better than the medical professionals that they have hired to be in charge of their care plan and it is not okay.
______________________
Please, to anyone reading this and feeling like you are somehow failing because you take medication, have taken medication or need to find access to medication, for any reason, physiological, mental, etc. You Are Valid!
Anyone reading this who has seen benefit, in any way, whatsoever, when you do have access to medications (western medicine/traditional/holistic/physical aids/other or any combo thereof) You Are Valid!
Signed- a retired organic farm owner/operator with over a decade of studies in herbalism and homeopathy, the wellness industry and marketing; who is Autistic, Chronically ill and Disabled.
@@waterdragon5418 thank you for this! Many people do, and that is 100% okay.
Thank goodness for the technology and medical advances of modern medicine. Those who need, benefit from (and are lucky enough to have access to have access to) such tools to aid in their quality of life should never be shamed for utilizing them.
I'm 63, and display all ten of your quirks to some degree or other. You have no idea how many jobs I've lost because I was sitting and crying at my desk. I had an autism test a while ago, and never did get their final results. Maybe I didn't want confirmation. But this video confirms it all for me. I do thank you very much for having shed light on my life for me. I have a hard time seeing the obvious about myself.
I'm 64 female and you said exactly what I was thinking. I think I have gotten worse as I got older. 😕
@@leewhite-graham753 I'm sorry. Just because the world doesn't accommodate you, doesn't mean you are bad.
@@Slavaisusukhrystu Thanks.
❤
Oh Honey .... you have described me with almost all of those issues. I hate disruptions ... at home or work. I can't have chaos going on around me. I need to wear cotton ... cut my tags off... it goes on and on .... I am almost 65. Depression, anxiety all my life. I need alone time EVERY day ... as my therapist told me to make sure to get decades ago. You are so articulate and personable. I hope you have more posts ...
Same here.
This is exactly me as well 🥺
Yeah...this is literally every single person on the planet. Y'all are ridiculous.
I can’t wear “heavy” shoes with loose “lights tops” it’s makes me wanna cry. Cotton is my favorite clothing material, ever since no one actually pushes me to do hwk or stuff bc of my age I procrastinate.
Same x
I’m 65 and feel so much like you. It’s too late for me to seek a diagnosis but the more I see videos like this the more it explains me through my life. It’s quite comforting to know there’s likely a reason for how I’ve always been different, thanks for the video
I could have written what you have Chris, word for word
Not too late. I'm 59 and am going to ask to be assessed
I’m 60 years old & you have just described my life young lady . I seams as though ihave always been a disruption in my family, by may traits
.. maybe I should get revaluated..
Thank you for your bravery in doin this video...
Cheers to you! I'm going through the same right about now. It's fascinating...
Selena - I am so shocked but I also find similarities in my life. I am 68 years old. Of course when we were young, there was no such thing as autism unless you were like Rainman. My 8 year old granddaughter was diagnosed 2 years ago. She definitely shows behavior as that of autism. Well, maybe I need to get evaluated also. It would answer several questions I have about my social skills.
Same. At 62 I'm starting to wonder about myself.
Hi Selena, I’ve been diagnosed with autism recently and I’m 56. As far as disruption goes, that explains the effect I have on everyone around me. However, I bet you’re a wonderful disruption ! ❤️👍
"I need my alone time as if I need air."
I feel ya, sis. ❤
Oh, yes! I've never felt lonely being alone. In school? So lonely - and booooored. I really, really, really HATED SCHOOL!
Literally. Every. Single. Adult. On. Earth.
Sorry to bust your "I'm special!" Bubble.
@@chloedassler6156 Well, yes, a lot of kids don't like school. But that's a spectrum too. I guess you're not really seeing the nuances here.
@@chloedassler6156 no it's not super common. A have friends who want to go out and be social all the time, they get antsy being at home.
Yes!!!
Me: ok but I'm probably not neurodivergent, I'm just overthinking
Also me: * relates to every single autism in girls video *
(edit from the future: got diagnosed! I was right, lol)
Same
Same
We are all so awesome.
I would suggest doing more research outside of watching youtube, if you're planning on getting diagnosed. I'm kinda doing the opposite, I started doing research first and now I'm diving into the youtube neurodivergent circle, but it doesn't really matter. Just as long as you're doing your research before self-diagnosis.
That was exactly what my brain did to me after watching another RUclipsrs video!!
You’ve probably brought to our family a whole new understanding to what our daughter suffers with for her 42 years. Hoping she can get tested soon to figure out and feel the relief of knowing these behaviors are due to something, actually 😮😊. Thank you for being so candid and open with all who are searching for answers and help. This may truly serve to be an answer to our prayers
i used to struggle with empathy a lot when i was younger + now it feels like even paper clips have valid feelings 😭🥲
I am much older than you, probably, but you are the first to mention that. It describes me too. When young, not hardly any empathy. Now it has become overwhelming. I can't hardly listen to the news. Or step on a bug, for that matter. Good grief!!!
+1
Same here! I will carefully take a spider outside. I once found a butterfly in a parking lot & picked it up & rested it on my purse & drove it home to fly away in my backyard. Oddly, it stayed comfortably the whole car ride & then flew off in my yard.🦋
Preach! Sister 🥰
There is a religion for respecting living things, insects etc. It is Jainism. Maybe not the right spelling
OLIVIA, WELL DONE! I was diagnosed at 54. I had spent 40 years trying to work out what was wrong with me. Getting a clinical diagnosis was SOOOOO Liberating. Well done
Can you tell me more? I’m wondering if a clinical diagnosis is of any benefit. What does it change?
Who do you go to get diagnosed ?
I went to my GP who makes a referral. I've had to fill out a couple of questionnaires and had to go for a face to face meeting a few weeks ago currently awaiting results
@@Michelle-cj2bm in the UK? Last year I thought about speaking to my GP but knowing how stretched NHS services are (and this was before the pandemic) I didn't want to add to the burden. I am 52 and only realised I was likely on the autistic spectrum a couple of years ago. I looked into going down the private route but could not believe the cost involved ( think it was £2,000) I don't think a diagnosis is really necessary for me now but it would have been useful many years ago. I'm certain now that my late aunt had Asperger's too. I've found that in the last year or so I've become incredibly sensitive to noise which wasn't a huge issue for me before 🤔
@@gillianm9367 yes in the UK. I'm 43 now and it was during the pandemic I asked for a referral in July last years. I was suffering anxiety from all the changes due to lockdown. I had been realising for a few years that I could be on the spectrum so I thought what better time. Even though their resources are stretched I suddenly became desperate for answers, and 6 months on I am awaiting to hear the outcome!
I love that you aren't ashamed of who you are! This video actually helped me understand my son better!
You changed my life, and I am 62 years old! Just always thought I was a weirdo who never fit in (even though I am highly accomplished). Thank you
❤️
73 and right there with you.
This describes me to a tee. At 52 I am just now figuring out what has been ‘wrong with me’ my whole life and it is great to know that we have a community ❤️
Me too. I'm not comfortable around most.
Thank you on behalf of all of us women over 60 who endured cruelty and bullying at the hands of "mostly men" but also insecure women who believed we are a threat because we have ASD. A lifetime of this causes suicide in many, many women. You posting and sharing your experiences give me hope that your generation will survive what so many of us did not. At 61, I now understand myself enough to begin the process of developing self-love and respect. You are saving lives!!! keep up the good work.
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about Dr Oyalo on RUclips and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
I agree, I'm a 52 year old women . Males have been very abusive and i have been extremely depressed. Just a few days ago i filled out papers for Medicaid and I'm still working on papers for disability. I willl be seeing a doctor and counselor. I'm curious to see if they will say im autistic. I just know i am.
I ignore what others say. I was always rejected but have managed to.learn skills and make friends now I'm older at 43. I also found Jesus Christ my savior and have found my identity in him who created me. Human opinion is of far less importance.
To women I was usually a threat, to men I was complicated. My Mom and Dad just thought I was great and loved me. I'm 62 and have struggled with depression for a long time but also have a lot of issues with the sensory thing. My family was very unique and we just accepted each other and our differences. It wasn't always easy but we made it and living our lives.
Truth. 💗
I am almost 50 years old and this brought tears to my eyes…I see so many of my own traits in this video yet I’ve never even thought I was autistic. Thank you for sharing. 🥰❤️🥰
I'm about your age, and I also think I'm on the spectrum. My father is rather strongly (though high functioning in some ways), and my sons as well are autistic.
True that it's quite different for different people. One thing I remember when I was a kid was an obsession with time and synchronizing my watch. I also tended to be very disorganized, not because I didn't want order but because I was so perfectionistic that I would give up organizing altogether. Definitely in my own world socially.
Figuring out that this applied to me caused many things about my current and past self to "click" and was helpful for self-acceptance.
Until recently there was no understanding of how women on the spectrum presented, and it's certainly is not included in the diagnostic and statistical manual, so we can't even blame psychologists for missing stuff, because there was no 'stuff' to miss, according to the official, professional documentation. 🤷♀️😥
Jenna I’m 71 and I always knew I was a quirky artist so it was ok fun to be this way but to “know” I am on the spectrum only came to me a few years ago when I realized I am ADD then realizing I’m that and more! It’s all good - nice to know we aren’t alone. ♥️
I've been explaining my newly noticed quirkiness as adult onset ADD for no other explanation. 🤔
I really started noticing issues before I was diagnosed with Hashimotto Thyroiditis.
@@angierunquist128 no such thing as adult onset ADHD. Unrecognised childhood traits that you managed to build strategies for that, as life becomes more complicated and thrtr are more 'balls' to juggle, become harder and harder to manage. 😊
I’m a 62 year old woman and I have lived my life in fear and cloudy and you have just opened my eyes so wide. I don’t know how to express the relief and even a couple of chuckles I got from your video. I always knew I was a diagonal shape in a hexagonal hole. Please keep going. It’s an amazing ,helpful and informative slice of life. Cheers 🥂
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he now respond to orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help. I am Greatful 🙏
LOVE this description! :) x
I want to share about a herbal recommendations I got about Dr Oyalo on RUclips and his herbal remedy which work perfectly on my sons improvements and social skill till now. He now speakers in sentences, responds to name and instructions, no more aggressiveness and many more unlike him before
I'm 52 and have always felt like what you just said. Only person who ever got me was my best friend, he also had similar traits. He passed away from cancer. I felt my best around my best friend, now I live with someone that is a covert narcisist. Some times i can't function at all.
I’m 19 & honestly you seem so kind & sweet & the tmi can feel weird I get you! But don’t be sorry bc u are opening up to us & it helps us so much! Thank you love x 100. It takes strength to talk about personal things so I really appreciate you
Thank you! I am a retired speech language pathologist and I can understand the traits and the impact on your life. You are very brave, and clearly explained your traits. Education for others is super important and I am glad that I "found" your video. Enjoy what makes you feel free and happy 😊
Wonderful video! I am a therapist, I am going to share this Top 10 video w my patients. Keep up the excellent work!
Oh, wow! That is such a huge compliment and the highest praise I could get. Thank you so much for watching and complimenting me, Sarah! And thank you for helping others like me. You're amazing. God Bless!
@@OliviaHops Hey 🌹
@@OliviaHops I agree, therapists in this field are top level amazing but so are advocates like you Olivia 💙🌟 You have just given another female, who's battled a misunderstood & lonely path, the 'umph' I need to find the correct testing & diagnosis, in order for me to have 'triumph' over endless MISDIAGNOSIS.
I am pushing 60 ! So there's been plenty !!
Thank you for being so candid & I'm so grateful that you are sharing your journey, light 💡and incredible smile 😃
💙Continue being TRUE BLUE for your fellow sisters 💙♀️
And brothers ♂️💙😉
I also have felt these same difficulties in my life. I feel as though I've possibly gone undiagnosed with ASD. Having had anxiety, depression, childhood selective mutism, as well as a very limited diet due to those "texture" issues feel I may have found the reason. Thanks for sharing this video. Feels good to know your not alone. 😊
BTW I'm pushing mid 50s! 🤩🤙🏽
"tsar feodore IV": I seek someone to test me for autism for free. Since you a therapist could you or a friend do this for me. What do masking mean.
My 21 year old daughter is on the spectrum. Every point you discussed is exactly on point. She is an amazing person. The speech issues are so familiar, she growled instead of talking up until about 3rd grade, still does when having a meltdown. A meltdown, someone who finally understands what that is! I am going to introduce her to your channel because she struggles and has very few, if any, role models or examples of people who are dealing with similar issues.
Hi 29 autistic and you should check out paige layle she Is another autistic creator on RUclips ….she’s also 21 and Talks about autism it might help your daughter
I'm 34 & have asd & i make yt vids. thinking of making one on doing bjj with it.
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he now respond to orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help. I am Greatful 🙏
It’s just 7 days and the outbreaks are well treated and unseen. Thank you so much #Autism #Cancer #Herpes for curing my HSV 1&2 completely. 🌱ruclips.net/channel/UC_YFEEZEr1BxGkNg1d4vqww 💙🍀🇺🇸
My son have been using this herbal product for 1month now so far it has cured his autism and eliminate his lack of social skill as well , now he is verbal , I got this herbs from Dr imenherbal on his channel and it work perfectly . Now my son is completely free
Neurodivergent here, 68 years old. I experience many of the things you’ve mentioned with the exception of aversion to change and empathy. I first realized I was dyslexic when I attended college and the blackboards literally flipped in front of my eyes. The description of selective mutism was very interesting, I’ve also experienced this. Thank you for posting!
A lot of accessibility groups have worked on developing special fonts for people with dyslexia. The fonts tend to be thicker along the bottom, which supposedly helps to keep letters from flipping and helps people determine which way is correct. They also space out the letters a little more to make it easier to tell what they are. I think it's nice people are trying to develop something that helps.
Yes! I am not alone. I was shamed as a child, rather than helped with my ASD. It helps me greatly to see other women come forward and share how their brain/world differs from what is considered "normal". Thank you so much for sharing. Sincerely, Susan Goforth 💖
Girl! Keep this up! You have no idea how far reaching you could be. I have taught in the public school system in autistic support until recently. I have my own ASD daughter. My daughter is only 10 and the only adult ASD I know is male. I cannot wait to share this video with my husband and then sit together and share it with our daughter. I also cannot wait to see what else you have to offer. You are beautiful and amazing and I wish we were neighbors! Stay strong girl and keep up your efforts!
I have a daughter who is on the spectrum as well. She is 20, has a 2-year degree and works full-time in a warehouse until she can get a job in her area of study (many places require her to be 21). She graduated with honors. She likely got it from me, and I have a master's degree and have been working in customer service for over a decade. Dr. Temple Grandin encouraged me to get my daughter involved in a variety of things so she could expand her horizons. It has been the best advice ever! I wish your daughter the very best!
I had the same thought, namely that this young lady is brave and a delight to listen to. I wish she was my neighbor as well. 😀 This video is 2 years old but I'm glad I found it.
I use this herbs on my son too and it work for me and till now he is still ok and normal. I got the herbs from Dr Oyalo channel and used it on my son for 4week and within the period of using it there was positive changes which really urge me to continue and I can say my son is free from autism
This was only your first video? Truly superb.
I was thinking the same thing.
I was also thinking the same thing. Very well spoken
Yes, agreed! The presentation, music, filming... all superb!
first video in this series, she said. maybe she has other ones but not this specific series.
Easy when you have money.
You're amazing. I'm raising my 14yo grandson, and he presents all 10 areas you described. Due to seeing your video, I'm now going to have him tested. It's so brave and kind of you to share your personal descriptions of how ASD effects you! You just helped my grandson. Keep up the good work!
It’s so difficult to be diagnosed later in life, and it’s so especially prevalent in women. Congrats on your diagnosis!
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he now respond to orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help. I am Greatful 🙏
Why do we feel the need to be diagnosed with “something.” Why can’t we all just be us, human…
@@bonsaibaby8257 Better question is why do YOU feel the need to invalidate people's existence. And having a diagnosis doesn't make someone less human.
Congrats??!? LOL for what
@@necroflowers2244 A diagnosis isn't someone's "existence". There is nothing being invalidated because there's nothing there of value to begin with. Go clutch your pearls somewhere else u ableist worthless loser.
How many of us are that weird aunt or uncle who would rather sit at home and watch TV on holidays?
Why do you feel the need to describe them as ‘weird’ ❓
@@janetrimmel5418 I found Christine's comment amusing as she is including herself in that description. Its good to be in a place where you can laugh at yourself! Looking back over the years I can also see why people might think my behaviour to be 'weird'. What I do think is a terrible shame is that I didn't realise my late Aunt very probably had Asperger's as we used to be baffled by many of her traits though looking back it makes sense to me why I always had a particular affinity with her (having many autistic traits myself). Now many years later I'm the 'weird Aunt' 😁 but grateful for the information available nowadays to understand myself better.
Probably won't be missed at all, go for it
I'm the weird aunt.
Count me in
This is the first time I heard about selective mutism, I could never get anyone to understand that I physically couldn't speak. Everyone always thought I was being overly dramatic....
I have experienced selective mutism as well, but I usually don’t relate to people’s explanation of it. For me, it stems from not fully trusting a person’s motives for asking me a question. I’m afraid to answer, based on their history of two-facedness that I have observed from afar.
@@doma3554 I also have experienced that but I never thought it could be this since I related more to my trust issues. That actually makes a lot of sense
I literally had this for a period as a kid. I don't even remember it, but appearantly I stopped speaking to my grandparents for a while. Then I became very odd and anxious later in school. Honestly, I'm probably autistic, and I don't know how my parents never checked it.
@@fromeveryting29 same, my parents particularly my mom just thought something was wrong with me.....but never took initiative to actually do anything about it. I still get pissed thinking about how she could be so clueless.
Same!
I can not tell you how thankful I am to have come across your video. It literally has changed my life so much, maybe even saved my life. Before I watched it my confidence couldn't have been any lower. I had come to believe I was just different from the rest of the world. It seem like everyone around me was just so happy and could socialize so easily and here I was akward, uncomfortable, miserable, petrified thinking of the next family get together I would have to attend and having these "childish meltdowns" (as my family would call it). I remember thinking "life is just to hard. I'm never going to be "normal" like everyone else and I just don't have the strength to put into trying anymore." Absolutely no hope and no will to keep going. That's why I believe it had to been God that put your video in my path. Thank you so much for taking the time to make this. Starting with your video, led me to research further and I learned so much. But most importantly I know now that I'm not this weird, malfunctioned, damaged accident that's different from everyone else in this world. I'm me and there's nothing wrong with that.💜🤗
Holidays are horrible just thinking of how they'll make me act/feel. I took the day off after Thanksgiving bc I knew I needed it to recharge.
So awesome! Get yourself what you need!
Thank you for talking about your selective mutism. I believe I’m on the spectrum but never had a formal diagnosis. I have been telling people for years “sorry, sometimes I have a hard time getting the words out” and assumed it was connected to anxiety and now that I know selective mutism is a thing, I researched it and omg that’s what I’ve been dealing with. Now I know. Thank you!
Same. I've been worried about this.
Usually only having selective mutism doesn’t mean you have ASD. You’d have to experience multiple of these symptoms
Your only symptom is selective mutism? Or it’s the most prominent
@@climatesolutions649 yes, I agree; however, did you watch the entire video? That was/is not her distinguishing characteristic. Selective mutism absolutely happens in extremely young children when they are abused. People need to be careful categorizing others based on "symptoms." It's possible that you are simply a person not comfortable with "public speaking" which is perfectly okay.
anymongus this comment is not about the girl in the video, it’s about the girl who made the original comment in this thread.
I got treated like I was broken and rude and told to "act my age". My husband and I live far away from family and I HATE visiting.
You're beautiful Christine, inside and out.
Yes some of these traits do cause one to appear childish in their behavior, and in a sense is true. When one is growing up they learn to change or suppress certain kinds of behaviour that they observe as being unacceptable in their social systems. I think that both my wife and I show strong traits of being Autistic. At one point I left a promising life and career path because of feeling out of place in the USA. I was born and lived until I was 5 in Finland but my mother took me to the states with her new husband. I was not good with small talk or the extroverted style of American society. In Finland people keep to themselves, they speak their mind without playing word games (they have difficulty with sarcastic humor). I also had difficulty putting on a smile all the time, and dealing with eye contact. After being away from Finland for 20 years, I took a trip there to visit my father and just felt like I had somehow 'come home'. I then quit my job as the head of a photography department at a newspaper and moved to Finland. I love the country, and the people, but then because of my language problems there I could never really fit in and find the right career path for myself. The point is that I had developed certain social norms by the age of 5 and was not able to change from these until the age of 35 and ended up movin back to my original social environment to feel better about life and myself. Finnish people are for the most part introverted, and this made it the more difficult to socialize or to see the behavious that I should have changed as a child.
Being childish can be a good thing. I was able to relive my own childhood as an adult through raising my children, and experience the childlike wonder on their faces when seeing bubbles or something like that. Even had a friend tell me I had a "childlike wonder about me". It's been a while since I last climbed a tree, I think I was 50. If I can get my strength back I plan to climb trees again. I like doing it and it's fun, why not? Who says I can't do it just because of age? I like stomping in rain puddles and standing in the rain and twirling in circles. When I was younger I thought I had no personality, so I just decided my personality would be "weird".
AT family gatherings I found what the adults were doing to be boring, so I hung out with the kids. The men were watching sports and the women were in the kitchen cackling about something or another. I didn't fit in either of those groups.
For me, it was a difficulty learning how to act to be socially acceptable. I was always a step behind. By the time I learned how to act as a kid, I was already an older kid/teen, and so it went. By the time I figured it out, my peers were already on to the next stage.
Thank you so much! I have a co worker who is on the spectrum and I was having a hard time accepting some of her behaviors. I now have so much empathy for it all! I am so grateful💜🙏🏻
Thank you for this video. The way that you described having meltdowns over seemingly miniscule things is exactly what I have experienced throughout my life, but you talked about it without any stigma and that was so refreshing. I never want my close friends or partners to see that side of me (but of course many have), so hearing another person talk about it so openly in their own lives is incredibly helpful for me being able to accept myself.
I’m crying because I relate to everything in this video except for two points and I’m about to be 30 this year. It’s like someone has pulled the film off of my eyes and everything is now clear. I have to go in for a diagnosis now. Thank you!
Good luck, Sasha. I hope you find the answers that will vindicate you.
💜💜💜
You’re just like me!! Great video
Best wishes
By the time she got to number 6 I literally turned to my hubby (who wasn’t listening to the video) and explained she was listing her top 10 symptoms and so far she hadn’t listed one that didn’t describe me! Oh what to do with this information.
You have just described my daughter! She was diagnosed at 21. I'm going to use this video to help our extended family understand autism for girls. Thank you for sharing your heart!
This video is so validating. For so many reasons, I doubt my own traits and diagnosis so much because ‘oh I can socialize’ or ‘oh I have strong emotions and am not flat’ or whatever. Thank you for existing out loud and reminding me that we need to be kind to ourselves!
I realize that I can socialize, and even once convinced myself I was an extrovert, because I forced myself into situations to get over my shyness. Drama class in high school, roller derby as an adult. (Made myself sky dive, once, because I was terrified of heights as well.) Ive always felt super awkward, and that no one really liked me, but I thought it was growing up poor that made me feel like an outsider. Realizing how exhausted I am now after having to be around a lot of people or loud noises, WHY I have hated most every job I've ever had, and most importantly, why I stutter or just can't get the words out when I am excited or upset, makes me feel a little less crazy. I never even considered ASD until they started telling me my son might have it, then looked up "adult women with sensory issues." Bingo.
👏👏👏
Lovvvve
"Thank you for existing out loud", is one of the coolest things I have ever read or heard! Love it!!
Loved this! Autism in girls needs to be talked about as much as autism in boys. Thank you for the insight and for your positivity ❤️. It’s not a negative thing, we need to put ourselves into your shoes to try and understand you, you don’t have to try and conform and understand us! Beautiful lady
I really liked how you emphasized that autism is a spectrum. We're all different. We're not all like Rainman. And how your dr said it's like saying that a person isn't obese until they're a thousand pounds.
I can't tell you how validating it was to listen to you! I have almost every trait you mentioned here and have been harshly judged in my life because of it. I thought there was something inherently wrong with me and couldn't understand why none of the people in my life ever thought like I do or had the same emotions I do. I think I've finally found my tribe after 57 years. Thank you so much for sharing in such an honest way.
Yes, me too. I'm 51. I read in a few places that some of us older folks have a crisis in their lives that leads us to this realization. I was my mom's caregiver, and she recently passed away. I am having a hard time with her death.
@@trishgreen2892 I'm so sorry. 😥
@@JaneSmith0709 Thank you! I just want to become friends with people who get me, after a life time of loneliness. I am sure we can all relate.
@@trishgreen2892 Definitely.
I’m in exactly the same place you are in. No one in my family could ever really relate to me. Don’t get me wrong, I come from a very loving family situation, but, I was different.
Thank you so much for sharing I'm literally in tears because all these years of therapy and I feel like they missed so much about me.. thank you!
Greetings! :D
As a girl I’ve been unknowingly on the spectrum, that’s why Im here to say that I officially got diagnosed with autism, in February 2023. Turning 17 this may, so I’ve been wondering why I am so “weird” from ordinary people, for 16 years.
- It explains a lot of things, especially what I see differently in my world, and how I handle things in daily life.
I’m always a happy person, and see things in very bright colors, almost like a painting in a way. When I get sad the painting looses its color and I get sad for a bit and then back to normal!
[Feelings are rather complicated for me, and I usually have a very hard time with recognizing or explain them in a full sentence.]
- One particular thing I still struggle with to this day, is I’ve never been able to socially communicate clearly, or at all with other beings except family members, or humans I trust deeply.
But more interestingly enough, I’m very good at communicating via text, or commentating my thoughts.
- Many people I’ve encountered said I choose different choice of words when typing, more formal and outgoing, if you can put it that way.
Teachers liked my particular choice of words, and thinking, and other humans found my wording or short messages pretty complicated or disheartening.
- Ive always had a difficult time with noises, such as alarms and other frightening sounds. But the worst ones are especially at parties, lunch breaks at cafeterias, and dinner table conversations. I get overstimulated quickly, and can feel dizzy, even sick at times when it gets too much for my brain.
(I would gladly mention more of my thoughts, but I’m afraid that if I do so, I will break RUclips’s commentary bubble field!)
Anyhow, if any human being was able to read all this, I thank you for your patience and gratitude, and wish you good luck, success and happiness! :)
thank you for sharing your experience with us. Your effort helps us to understand ourselves. It gives us a example of how to describe our feelings.
omg you just described me. everything you have said i can relate too including the embarrassing gut issues. i had to explain to my doctor how it’s related to anxiety 😒. the pain is unbearable. im so glad you posted this. im 40 and haven’t been diagnosed properly. ive been looking for answers for 30 yrs
Omg, me too...... I've even had surgery 🤯
Yup.....My skin is sensitive so careful about clothes,have occasional meltdowns, very logical, think people hate me, have both anxiety and depression. Changing routines is brutal
My skin burns after I get out of water. Textures, temperature…many sensory issues affect me.
Me too!
You are incredible and I am so proud of you!! This is the information the world needs to hear! I raised two ASD kids, one female and one male. These characteristics are so common in ASD people. My son was always constipated (ER visits) and my daughter has IBS. Classic! You are definitely not an embarrassment to anyone, you are a shining star 🌟!! Nice video!!
I haven't been diagnosed yet, but I know I'm autistic. Both of my sons have been diagnosed. And, I look back on my life..... I was always the target of bullies, I was painfully shy, I had no friends, and I was considered weird by others.
I feel the same. I was selectively mute for most of the time I was in school. With everything social I learned by watching and imitating others. It took a long time and I’m still awkward but if I had it my way I’d be silent. I also love to be by myself. The plus side of 2020 was that people were away from me, lol. I even worked the whole time. “Essential worker”.
Me too. You are not alone. ❤️
You just described my life!
Me too. I’m like 99% sure I have it as well. The 1% doubt is from all those people saying girls can’t have it or you can’t appear “normal” if you have it. I relate to almost every single thing all these women with autism talk about. It’s such a struggle. I’ve even had teachers ask me before if I had it, but my idea was what the media portrays it as (which I now know it’s not), so I was almost offended when they asked me. I was like, why would you think I have that? I’m nothing like that. But after doing extensive research, I am, I am exactly like that lol. I finally made an appointment with a doctor so I can be referred to a psychiatrist hopefully. I’m just so nervous that I’ll end up getting a doctor that doesn’t believe girls can have it
Me too, but my weirdness stems mostly from my necrophilia...or is that not fashionable yet and something that I should keep to myself?
I'm no autistic, but I have an ex spouse who is. I'd like to applaud you for what is a truly lovely, honest and self accepting , self loving presentation about autism and yourself.
"I need alone time like I need air" omg that's me haha, I hate hate hate socializing with people, I go out of my way to hide and I get super irritated when people try to make small talk with me. I need as much alone time as I can get, my dream is to get a job working from home. I'd love to only leave my home like once a week haha. I get physically exhausted from talking, especially if it's a longer or more in-depth conversation. I feel like I need a nap afterwards and I usually shut down for the rest of the day, even though it was just one convo. It's one of the main reasons I don't think I can have kids sadly: I just don't think I can handle losing my alone time, even a little bit of it, which I feel, like you said.. I really need as much as I need air.
Omg, this comment is SO me. It's me to a T 10000%. I could have written it!! Especially the kids part. I don't want kids for the same reason! Also, I have my own business and work from home and it's amazing. I actually really only leave the house once a week lol. I highly recommend!
@@OliviaHops Haha, that's awesome! And I'm glad to hear you're going through the same thing-- I mean, not that you're suffering too lol, but growing up I felt like an alien and never understood why I just couldn't be like other people. I've tried to develop my social skills but have finally just accepted that socializing just IS extremely unnatural for me and I don't think I should have to force myself to be something I'm not, and that's okay. Before I carried a lot of guilt because people assume you're rude or think you have a superiority complex if you're quiet, but trying to please people all the time is just so exhausting and not worth it haha
I'm starting to school again this fall and plan on majoring in psychology, I'd really like to get into research but I'm trying to figure out how I can get a career where I can at least be at home most of the time. I think my mental health really needs it, I just can't keep forcing myself to put on faces that aren't mine.
I just want to make my home a little sanctuary, filled with lots of plants and pets (apparently keeping lots of pets is something Autistic females tend to do and this I can confirm on my end lol)
Wow I really relate to this...I'm 30 and never diagnosed but it's been on my mind lately
Yes!!! This is me. I thought I could never be married or have kids because of this. However, I manage to make it happen every day. Even if when little it’s putting an educational show on so I can be in another room alone to recharge.
I have 5 kids and can make this work. Also a husband. I think my husband and kids sometimes wonder how I can be alone so often, but I have to have it to succeed in daily life.
Also I’ve never been dx ed with ASD. Though I relate to half of her characteristics.
I feel the same way - but like many girls / women I've been adequate at hiding it. After covid19 caused much& then all of my temp office work to dry up I was excited to learn work-from-home was *finally* acceptable and expected!! 🤙🏽
I believe there is a spiritual component to this. What you’ve described sounds like my childhood. I still have those sensitivities, but I also realize that I am highly sensitive to other people’s emotions (angst, joy, fear, depression), all it it. I cope by avoiding crowded rooms and honoring my intuition when I get a negative feeling about someone. I wonder if autistic people are just in a state of constant sensory overload, processing information that other people cannot even perceive, such that they cannot emote because they are feeling everything from everywhere. When I feel everything from everywhere, I am in a frenetic, sometimes chaotic state. So, it is a delicate balance to be empathetic and present to your environment, while also not being paralyzed by everything else around. I feel like that is always the choice to be made.
That is exactly how I feel!! Too much from all directions & can't process it all.
Emote too big
I think there is an enormous shamanic component to Spectrum. I don't even put "autism" in "autism spectrum" anymore. To me spectrum is the spectrum of light, the spectrum of interdimensionality, the spectrum of connections that we feel, which are immense. I have come to believe that we are here for a profound reason. 🦍🙏
Timothy:*'But God has NOT given me a spirit of fear..But of Love. Power. and a Sound* mind.'¥
I am exactly like you. I am overly emphatic, that is why I cannot stay crowded places for too long. I sense feelings of everyone and that is overloads my brain and I have a meltdown if I cannot escape in time.
I’m nearly 50 and wow I now understand why i am like I am ❤️
Wow!! This may be the highest compliment I could ever get! Helping people understand themselves was my goal when I made this video. Thank you so much for letting me know I was able to reach that goal. God Bless!
@@OliviaHops You helped tremendously! "Accidentally" your video popped up in my RUclips feed a month or so ago, and today I received my Official Autism Diagnosis at 55 years. Thank you Olivia! ❤️
I'm 53 and first time I understood why I get so upset.
I’m 47, shy, weird and introverted is how I just labeled myself growing up. Autism wasn’t talked about back in the early ‘80s. I have all of what you discussed to different degrees and I also think I have ADD. I really don’t feel it’s necessary to tell people because I’ve dealt with my whole life. I might be a pro at the masking thang! I don’t have friends but I can join in to conversation and be social, I just can’t start conversations. I am very content with who I am but I still feel bad because I’d just rather be alone or left to do my job at work than social or with people in groups. Thank you for this video. It has opened my eyes to why I am who I am 🙏🏼😍🤩😍🤩
My daughter is 8 and hasn’t been diagnosed, but is being treated as if she is on the spectrum. I just happened to run across this on RUclips and her traits are so much like yours! Her senses are usually the first thing others notice because she basically eats peanut butter for every mea!, along with applesauces, and cream of wheat. I get vitamins in her by adding Carnation Instant Breakfast, and similar powders in her milk. Also the melt downs, and struggle to get the right words from her mind to her mouth. She, like you, is a beautiful girl, with a bubbly personality, very intelligent, and remembers everything! Thank you for posting this on RUclips! Very much need to see by me!
Seriously though...You are as cute as a bug's belly-button. Adorable & so well-spoken.
In this small video, it's apparent your parents loved you to the moon, and they had good moral values.
Don't forget to thank them.
Aw, thank you so much, Jennifer! That means so much to me! And yes, my parents are amazing!! God Bless
Thank you for sharing your experiences and insights as someone living with ASD. Your delayed diagnosis as a woman is comparable to many misdiagnoses for many ailments experienced by women. Thank you again for bringing these insights into the light. Koodos to your boyfriend for sticking by you with all of your doubts and other sensitivities 🌷🌷🌷
This is important work as an adhd and autism type person who's getting diagnosed later this year or next I thank you 😊 🙏 for your important work 🙏 🤲 😊
Christ I'm in tears. You are a brave beautiful young lady. I have a daughter,(early 20's) that I have suspected may be on the spectrum but I'm at a loss as to how to start a dialogue with her in addressing this. Your parents must be so proud of you.....God bless : )
Olivia, I will say this over and over, You are amazing. So proud of you for owning who you are. Don't ever change that because you are amazing. People need to hear that being different is not a bad thing. It's just that "different", and different is okay. In fact, different can be so much better. Love you Miss Olivia- you go girl.
Thank you so much for the sweet message! It means so much to me. Thank you for watching my video and supporting me. Hopefully I can help other people see being "different" is an awesome thing.
And your boyfriend is amazing too for putting up with you.
Olivia IS amazing and helping educate people; however, I also feel that it is worth putting in the work to get past some of our limitations. Very late in life, I learned to travel and was forced in to some uncomfortable situations where I was forced to talk to people and to interact a lot more than I was used to, and learn how to ask for help, companionship and even friendship. It turned out to be a real growth experience and very fulfilling and I actually had fun and enjoyed it. Now I’m afraid that when lockdown finally ends I will have struggle to learn that again. There is a danger of becoming TOO accepting of our limitations when you can work around or move past some of them into a world of broader experience.
All of this describes me so much but I've never been diagnosed. I'm 42 years old. Everything I do that seems "normal" required a lot of forcing myself to not seem completely awkward.
I’m 26 and have just started looking into the traits for autism in women….. And it feels like you are delving into my mind and talking about me in this video 😂 Idk of course, I haven’t been diagnosed so it could all be coincidences. 🤷🏻♀️ But thank you for sharing all of this with us! 💕
Atleast ur parents listened to you and cared enough to help you with sensory issues.. As an indian... Indian parents will not care if you are dying... You just have to put up with whatever it is.. Infact if you are sensitive to something.. They will probably do major exposure training until you just give up and accept it. Indian parents are wonderful are they not? I am a highly sensitive and emotional aspie...so its still very difficult.
Hey, I'm Indian and I feel you too. I just self diagnosed a few weeks back. Life hasn't been better, and everything finally makes sense. Find your safe space, and protect yourself from sensory torture. You can also Google up coping mechanisms. Good luck!
Still_here can totally relate, In my case especially my mom, she had beaten me(even as an adult) several times because of my meltdowns and I always thought maybe I deserve this or maybe I'm just overreacting but now as I finally got to know I'm on spectrum, just thinking about it.. hurts so much how badly I was treated by them let alone outside world. I'm in my early twenties and God knows what's to come next
I am sorry to hear about the idea of 'major exposure training', I can understand how traumatic that would be to an autistic child or adult.
I'm Indian too, and yeah, my parents never understood why I was so sensitive. They always yelled at me for crying, which only made me cry more because I couldn't understand why I couldn't just stop. They just thought I was being immature and too sensitive. I think my parents are relatively progressive as far as Indian parents go (e.g. I'm bi and they totally accept that) but this is one of the things they're really inflexible on. Ironic, considering my mom is a psychiatrist.
yeah im (self diagnosed) possibly autistic, indian, and female and i've always been overstimulated by noise, ex: fireworks made me cry and ive always gotten in trouble for overreacting
I was diagnosed last year at the age of 50 and I'm still learning about autism and me. Watching this helped me with some of my own difficulties. I never knew about the link with gut issues.
Male w/ ASD here, I got diagnosed w/ ASD + ADHD when I was 38 (I'm 44 now), and it was both a shock but also a "well that explains a lot of things" moment. I relate to many of these things, and I can tell you at least in my experience it has gotten easier w/ age, I used to be a lot less flexible, had more meltdowns, etc., and I can give a few tips that have helped me, maybe they'll help you or anyone else reading:
Weighted blankets and blackout curtains are the bomb for sensory issues
As far as I can tell, the challenge w/ routines changing or things out of order, is the spontaneity of it, it's the realization your GPS is off course and you didn't plan for the detour, and so then mentally you're scouring the entire state map, not just your neighborhood, trying to figure out where you are and that is hugely anxiety inducing.
That's actually where MOST of the corresponding anxiety comes from - difficulty in processing "how much has changed" and "which of the things that I thought were irrelevant are now relevant?" - the autism answer more often than not is "all of it", which is basically the "freeze response" of a prey animal, your body reacts exactly the same way - cortisol goes up, etc., and stay in that state too long (or your whole life) and you get gut issues, ibd, autoimmune problems, etc.
So, a couple things that help the anxiety:
First, when you hit that "I'm off course" feeling and start panicking, switch to identifying all of the things that HAVENT changed - maybe the seating assignment has changed, but look around - still the same number of desks, the same posters are on the wall, the wall color is the same, etc., - that will help your brain realize that it's only off course by a few miles and not the other side of the globe.
Second, practice thinking of what could be different in advance. Something like, "in class tomorrow, what could be different? We could have a substitute teacher, maybe we have a new student, maybe the seats have changed", etc., and then come up with a plan for each thing: "If we have a new student, then, I'll say "hi, nice to meet you"", if you have a plan in advance, then you're not coming up on the fly which is where most of that anxiety comes from.
For empathy, I've gotten better at that via lots and lots of stories, particularly narrative-focused video games. Reason being, is that in a movie or book, you're feeling empathy for the other character, but in a game, you're experiencing the emotions directly. So, playing a sad game where the main character gets sick and dies, or is an orphan looking for their parents, etc., I've been able to embody that directly, and then extrapolate those feelings w/ other people more easily.
Thank you, that does put things a little more in perspective. Never realized that ibd and autoimmune problems could be a side effect of asd.
@@suziegrinwis5512 No problem, and they can be a side effect of any condition where you are anxious a lot, b/c anxiety is supposed to be a response for "fight, flight or freeze" emergencies. We have those systems in our brains as carryovers from evolution from prey animals that freeze, like deer.
So when you have that freeze/panic response, your body produces cortisol, "the stress hormone" and what cortisol does is it tells the body to pause bodily functions that aren't needed in an emergency, and use that energy instead to boost your muscles and senses, so you can see danger and run faster.
Sleep is one of those systems, which is why if you're drowsy and get startled, you're instantly wide awake and can't go back to sleep for a few minutes until the cortisol wears off.
Digestion is one of the systems that gets deprioritized during stress since the last thing you want to worry about if you're being chased by a bear is having to go to the bathroom.
Your immune system is also deprioritized for the same reason, if you have a cold and are being chased by a bear, it's better for your body to stop worrying about the cold, run like hell away from the bear, and then worry about the cold later
And all that makes sense biologically since those responses first evolved from being chased by predators that wanted to eat us, but, they don't work too well for modern civilized life.
So, with all of those systems being affected, if you have any situation where you are constantly anxious a lot, those systems go all to hell and don't work well, and it wrecks havoc on the body.
Hope it helps!
What a rare, informative and kind hearted comment. It was a blessing to read... thank you for sharing.
Wow, so well explained!! It made things so much clearer. I’m not so great at managing the meltdowns but I’m going try some of your tips for sure! I am 57 & was only diagnosed recently... I didn’t know what was wrong with me but seems I have subconsciously been trying to reduce anxiety all these years by ‘planning’ in advance every word, thought, action in my life. Now I know why I do that! Did you read any good books that gave you that enlightenment or did you just feel your way through it?
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he now respond to orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help. I am Greatful 🙏
This is great information. Thank you for putting yourself out there. I’m 51 years old and have many of the same traits. Interestingly, I had a stroke when I was 48 and some of my sensitivity issues went away. The brain is wild and wonderful!
Your video has me in tears. I have these traits too (though my GI traits are different). Seeing that someone else has gone through the same things… it makes me feel normal, in a sense. I’ve never felt that before. I was diagnosed neurodivergent in my mid 30s, but listening to you made me realize I’ve had these traits since I was very young - but no one named it. Thank you so much for sharing your story ❤️
I’m 65 and I have had all the same traits all my life but always felt and feel so off. Except my meltdowns are all internal. And my constipation went away once I discovered coffee! You’re such a lovely young woman. Congratulations on learning about your diagnosis on your journey of self-discovery. Thank you for helping people like me understand ourselves.
Me too !!
Finally! I've heard you describe me so well! I am 69 years old, and cannot believe I am just hearing this for the first time! My son is autistic and he is 48 years old, I had no idea that I was too just a few different traits and a different Spectrum! Thank you so much! You are a beautiful person inside and out! Everyone will be listening to you!
I was diagnosed with severe manic depression and anxiety, it’s very interesting I had always thought I was a little strange compared to all my friends and it was really hard making friends because I was considered antisocial. Having watched your video has kind of open my eyes to maybe why I have had all the issues in my life I have had we share a lot in common and hopefully this can help me move forward with working on how to deal with some of my issues a little better I wouldn’t really even called him issues because I’ve had them for so long it’s just second nature at this point but hoping you know what I mean. Thanks for the content. Very awesome and you seem like a sweet beautiful woman.
I had my diagnostic at 17 as a child I used to have OCD and anxiety I also self harm, I could play with other children but prefer to play alone, I had a lot meltdowns but mostly because my parents were intolerants and ignorants
The selective mutism trait really spoke to me, as that often happens to me when dealing with difficult conversations. What I’ve found helpful is journalling to become better at expressing myself in general, and also when I do go mute to type up what I am feeling or write it down. The words flow more easily that way. I hope this helps! 😊❤️
This helps me so much, thank you for this .
I've always wanted to journal but can't seem to work out what it does for me.
I'm 67 and can identify with all 10 traits especially wanting a hermit existence and being awkward in social situations.and finding it hard to express myself. Never been diagnosed
Yea I have it
This is exactly how I wanted to word it but couldn’t. This is me 100%
Thank you for being brave, and expressing to the world that this affects girls/women as well. I am HSP as well, and my daughter is showing me how we are both in the spectrum. My life has been extremely hard. I grew up in the 70s, and autism was unheard of. And if you were in the spectrum, society seems to think it goes away when you become an adult. I am extremely logical too. And felt and still feel people don’t like me. Intestinal problems too. I do not have a short term memory either. Thank you again for sharing.
Every single trait I have - I am now convinced I am not crazy
I have several and I’m good to speak to my therapist about it.
Wow, I literally have every one of these symptoms except for the meltdowns, and different gut issues. I was about 37 when I was diagnosed with ADHD (55 now). I wonder now if I was properly diagnosed. Either way, it’s a great comfort to know one is not alone in their struggles and we’re more “normal “ than we think. Oh…and what a beautiful smile!
I was just diagnosed with ADHD as well. I have learned that ADHD is one of the top comorbidities of ASD. But ASD is not at the top of the list for ADHD...if that makes sense!
Was diagnosed with ADHD myself in my 30’s(54 now) and I kind of wonder too. My son is on the spectrum and I can relate to a lot of these, including the gut issues and the meltdowns(which I have managed to learn how to control over the years.)
@@warriormama67 ive learned how to eat to help with the gut issues. After being highly embarassed as a child by nurses comments around my awful constipation & them laughing about my hard pebble poo rolling in a bed pan
I learned to compensate
However i still get so prickly sensitive to noises,smells, fabrics & peoples words, voices & attitudes ..that i have to be so caregul not to loose it & have meltdowns.
@@Westofhearts7 I am sorry you had to deal with those insensitive nurses. Apparently they are in the wrong profession if that’s how they treat any of their patients, especially a child. That’s just awful.
I still find it hard at times to control myself when facing certain triggers, especially people’s attitudes. It is very, very difficult, and TBH, I come very close to slipping at times. So yeah, still working on it.😅
With the gradual using of dr Oyalo herbal recommendation for autism, whom I met on RUclips, my son is totally free from Autism with his speech cleared and behavior ok as he now respond to orders and act right. Thank you doc Oyalo for your help. I am Greatful 🙏
The gut issues and the meltdowns have me really believing I'm autistic. I was diagnosed with adhd butI have traits that are not adhd at all and so it's had me doing research and seeking therapy to figure out whats wrong. Thank you for making this video. I'm definitely going to mention it to the therapist. Maybe I'll finally have all the answers to why I feel I don't belong anywhere in the world.
OMG “I need my alone time.” The story of my life M
Me too. When we had to isolate for COVID i was like YES
@@lisawik7234 same to me… my first thought was “oh thank god, I do not need to make up excuses of why I do not want to go out anymore…”
needing alone time don't necessarily mean you're autistic, it's because you are an introvert
@@husdry6874
Totally wrong! I’m considered friendly and outgoing, but I need my alone time desperately and dread social situations even though I don’t want for other people or friends to think I’m not enjoying myself.
@@kathygordon1131 and I'm like you :) being introverted does not necessarily go hand in hand with unsociability! I'm very sociable, partying and seen as an extrovert by my friends but what makes me an introvert is this need to find myself alone to recharge my batteries, and that feeling of being tired after social interactions.
Wow, I have many of the traits you talk about. I have been diagnosed with ADHD, Bipolar, and several other things but never felt they were correct. I am in my mid 50s now and have done my best to get by all these years. Bless you for sharing. My niece was diagnosed with aspergers and I see a lot of the same issues in myself. You are amazing, never forget that! 💙😎
Omg when you said "Everybody hates me" I choked on my salad!!! I have always felt that way and I was shocked when I was looking thru a couple of my yearbooks and saw all of the sweet things that had been written in there. I figured everybody at school hated me. I have IBSD so - gut issues which I've had forever, and so many of the other things that you talked about. Thank you so much for all of the info and for sharing your experience.
Coffee really helps blocked up bowels…..constitution ……
I wish I had known people like you when I was in school.
Selective mutism is something I've tried to find a name for for a very long time. I remember getting in trouble as a kid when I wouldn't answer questions during stressful moments. I could feel the words in my throat, but never could get them to come out. I would tell this to others, but they'd never understand.
I feel I was that way as well growing up. Very interesting this "selective mutism" I would clam up and not speak but get angry if somebody called me shy.
You are just so beautifully candid and incredibly charming with an ability to express yourself with such eloquent, articulate and concise words.
Thank you for these posts!
I love that you said your sense of smell is your most debilitating sensory issue. This is 100% me and my bf makes me feel like crap about it constantly. I wish that some people could experience it just for one day. I am so sick of being treated like I'm just whiny and making a "thing" out of nothing.
I say that I'm the foreman of the olfactory. 😂
Interesting mine is hyperacusis.
Talk about this to ur bf, sit him down and explain how u feel. If they don't listen or try and understand u then they dont deserve to be in ur life 🤷♀️
If I'm driving down the road and someone in another car nearby is smoking, I can smell the smoke from inside my own car. With the windows up, not open.
@@mamacat63 how can people not smell that shit. It's the worst!
This is so good and so very informative. I taught high school for 28 years, and I wish I'd been more aware of these traits. I somewhat resent that with all of the many trainings I sat through, nothing this practical was ever presented that could have perhaps helped me better understand some of my female students. Thank you!
@Sandy Taylor 28 years ago I had never heard of autism
It's only after a certain triple injection for babies and toddlers that autism raised its ugly face.x
@@janeyd5280 It's probably been around longer, it just wasn't recognized. Our society keeps getting busier & busier and more and more hectic. We aren't able to hide it or adapt as much as the previous generations. I'm about to turn 43 and recently diagnosed. Both my parents have it, but it was never diagnosed/recognized. They are in their 70s. From my memories of their behavior, I suspect some of my grandparents were autistic too. It's been around for a while, just hidden. Back in their day they just called them reclusives and moved on.
Thank you for sharing this. It's very pleasant to hear that you care. I'm through school and try to work with my kids' teachers and so many don't care to hear or understand. Helping them cope is just too much trouble apparently.
@@janeyd5280 I'm 51 and I knew about autism when I was a child. Just because you didn't personally know about it doesn't mean it didn't exist. What most people probably didn't realize about autism until recently is that it's a spectrum and that not all autistic people are like Rain Man or spend their whole days sitting in a corner spinning plates.
In fact, I just looked it up, and the first time that autism was described in a clinical setting was in 1943. The first time it was recognized as a developmental disorder was around 1980, and it was first identified as a spectrum around 1994. The science of autism, like any science, has grown and changed throughout the years. None of that means that autism didn't exist before it was described in these ways; it only means that our understanding of autism is constantly evolving.
The MMR vaccine is not responsible for autism now, nor was it ever.
@@janeyd5280 false!!
You just described my daughter. Hope my daughter can express herself the way you do some day.