AUTISM in GIRLS: 5 Social Anxiety Traits (YOU need to know)

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  • Опубликовано: 25 дек 2024

Комментарии • 8 тыс.

  • @TheAspieWorld
    @TheAspieWorld  6 лет назад +327

    ✅ FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM: instagram.com/TheAspieWorld

    • @loisjones4296
      @loisjones4296 6 лет назад +5

      Thank you so much for using examples to communicate this set of personality characteristics!

    • @WCG7
      @WCG7 5 лет назад +4

      Have you ever heard of someone kind of like blacking out but are fully conscious and don’t know where they are for a second?

    • @cromabu5090
      @cromabu5090 5 лет назад +5

      The Aspie World
      Do you know if autistic people overthink things to the point that a simple task is complicated.
      The reason I bring this up is that people say I lack common sense, however it’s because I overthink tasks a lot.
      What I am saying seems like the dunning Kruger effect though, but I don’t believe that to be the case.

    • @tragictransformerelectra3319
      @tragictransformerelectra3319 5 лет назад +9

      I am currently fighting off anxiety by working out. I feel strong and beautiful.

    • @callyevans690
      @callyevans690 5 лет назад +2

      7777WCG I think I know what you mean. It’s like you have a mind blank, your brain freezes, and you have to remember where you are and what you were doing. It’s disorienting.

  • @shellyd1811
    @shellyd1811 6 лет назад +8731

    Anybody else go through life being labelled "shy". I always tended to be quiet, and observe people to see how I should act and talk around them. People that actually know me, know I'm definitely NOT shy. I'm being labelled shy, when I'm just waiting for people to talk about something I find interesting.....lol

    • @Gotsole-vm3ut
      @Gotsole-vm3ut 6 лет назад +123

      Literally same! ^

    • @JessicaFreda62
      @JessicaFreda62 6 лет назад +509

      Same! Or people mistake it for being snobby or too reserved.

    • @dallasstone5160
      @dallasstone5160 6 лет назад +23

      Yes yes yes and yes.

    • @leichin5778
      @leichin5778 6 лет назад +98

      Oh yes, I know this so well. Everybody was always sayin I'm shy and introverted, even if I'm extroverted. I hate this sooo much.. That's why I had always identity problems. No one knows who I am, I can't show it

    • @doverette
      @doverette 6 лет назад +158

      My friends say I seem shy until someone gets to know me well...then they can't shut me up. Few know my truest self and accept my quirks. Also, I'm quiet in groups but I can get on a stage and do public speaking. I'm great with scripts....I wish every social interaction had a script so I'd stop saying stupid things :(. I didn't find out I was an Aspie until my youngest son was diagnosed.

  • @Autisticheather
    @Autisticheather 2 года назад +3172

    The lockdown was LITERALLY the best time in my life. All that social pressure GONE!! i was really sad when it ended.

    • @pandaboogus
      @pandaboogus 2 года назад +97

      It needs to start again

    • @gaehenderson5071
      @gaehenderson5071 2 года назад +28

      This is me too!

    • @clicheguevara5282
      @clicheguevara5282 2 года назад +83

      Wearing a mask caused instant panic attacks and headaches, but I LOVED staying home with my cats. It was heaven. Unfortunately while it was a nice mental health break for us, it caused an absolute epidemic of suicide, anxiety, and depression in the NT population. It was the biggest wave of child suicide in modern history. Even my PTSD got pretty out of control towards the end and I started getting lowkey agoraphobic. My state, Hawaii stayed locked down and masked longer than any other state - and because I couldn't wear a mask, I was basically locked down for 2 years.

    • @mariecait
      @mariecait 2 года назад +41

      I am on disability so I am home a lot anyway. Isolated. It gets very lonely. I do love being home with my cats but isolation can be dangerous NT or not.

    • @FreyaEinde
      @FreyaEinde 2 года назад +21

      I just feel like the system really sucks and we need solid alternatives. Because being at home and online is a vibe

  • @lichtvoetig
    @lichtvoetig 4 года назад +1591

    The most hurtful thing in school was when I finally got the courage to say something in class and someone goes "IT SPEAKS!??"

    • @graceh-gx4qg
      @graceh-gx4qg 3 года назад +111

      omg. I don’t even know if I am autistic but I remember similarly in secondary school I just kind of shut down and didn’t open my mouth, and one time I heard a passing group of girls say ‘it’s so disgusting, she doesn’t even speak’ and that was the first time I even noticed that I was even being extra quiet lol. Maybe I have asd, would explain a lot

    • @kittypride6343
      @kittypride6343 3 года назад +24

      i can relate.......

    • @Vincenzo-wn1or
      @Vincenzo-wn1or 3 года назад +51

      Bad mannered kids

    • @defensemechanismm4115
      @defensemechanismm4115 3 года назад +59

      SAME!! That drove me Insane, made me feel bad about myself and actually not want to speak again. I’ve also got a monotone voice and would be made fun of for that, but I’d try to mask it and up my voice but then people would make fun of me sounding too excited and using too much facial expression. I could go on and on, but yes, same here ugh

    • @defensemechanismm4115
      @defensemechanismm4115 3 года назад +14

      Also, yes, I am autistic and have sensory processing disorder. As well as my 7yo. My 6yo is also autistic and has spd, adhd and being tested for dyslexia next month. I worry about how they will both be treated. I just keep thinking about how I was! I can absolutely relate to this video

  • @jbug884
    @jbug884 Год назад +290

    My absolute worst fear is sitting around a circular table with others, and someone asks me a question. If all the attention is on me, I can’t handle that, it’s horrific, unless I’m totally drunk 🤦‍♀️

    • @Jusantiquesuk
      @Jusantiquesuk Год назад +16

      I also need to drink to be able to keep a conversation 😅

    • @himiyo8619
      @himiyo8619 Год назад +3

      ​@@Curmudgeonist good for you, but it's not the same for everyone

    • @iPicti
      @iPicti Год назад +7

      Yup. And once I begin to speak I stutter and can’t find the words. I’ve become sooo terrified that I just don’t really do anything social anymore. I have not been diagnosed but have all the traits of an aspie and scored likely to be when I took the online screening tests. Maybe we just need to exclusively hang out with others on the spectrum. 🤷‍♀️ I’ve never known anyone else like me, but I imagine a friendship with an aspie would be more sustainable than the others I’ve attempted to have throughout my 44 years of life.

    • @lesnyk255
      @lesnyk255 Год назад +3

      Way back when I was in college, those of us pursuing degrees in the hard sciences were known as "techies", a label which, as a physics major, I accepted despite its pejorative intent. I took a psychology class to satisfy my liberal arts requirement, and recall an exercise we had to perform. The prof broke us up into pairs to discuss some topic he'd posed. After a few minutes, we were shuffled into groups of 3; then finally into groups of 4. I well-remember the feeling of relief after that final reshuffling, because it was so much easier to hide in a group discussion than in one-on-one or one-on-two......

    • @brittanysmith3716
      @brittanysmith3716 Год назад +5

      Autism just sounds like introversion 🤷🏻‍♀️ is it really a disorder or is it just a personality type? So many introverts with anxieties have these issues

  • @TsukiNaito1
    @TsukiNaito1 4 года назад +894

    When your script runs out and that heavy awkwardness falls over the conversation and you start to mentally punch yourself for being so bad at this. And if your me maybe go home and cry. 😔

    • @DanSwerdlove-wb5jl
      @DanSwerdlove-wb5jl 4 года назад +12

      Meeeeeeeeee

    • @angeliconda123
      @angeliconda123 3 года назад +7

      Relatable af lol

    • @MeTreesndirt
      @MeTreesndirt 3 года назад

      Ahhh.

    • @sadetucker2094
      @sadetucker2094 3 года назад +30

      That's exactly why I hate talking on the phone, or in person. I prefer texting so I can try and think about what to say.

    • @dawnpinkeanderson423
      @dawnpinkeanderson423 3 года назад +2

      I learned to start asking questions of people when that happens. Helps sometimes.

  • @Sleipnirseight
    @Sleipnirseight 5 лет назад +1943

    Omg the whole thing about feeling socially awkward or overwhelmed around people your own age is spot on. I'm far more comfortable around older or younger people. This can also happen for me with other groups of peers, like peers in my profession, regardless of their age.

    • @bethanymuvceski475
      @bethanymuvceski475 5 лет назад +22

      Sleipnirseight very common doesn’t mean your on spectrum.

    • @pbasswil
      @pbasswil 5 лет назад +62

      Just to place this common Aspy symptom in a wider context: I'm a married male, in later middle-age. Though never tested, I'm pretty sure I'm not on the spectrum. Yet I have this same awkwardness & tendency to be overwhelmed in social situations - which I attribute to a rather lonely upbringing, by neurotic, anti-social parents. I find I can relax somewhat in the company of a woman (or two) - especially if I'm not attracted to them. But I'm never comfortable in large, chatty groups - I positively drown in loud crowd noise! And I'm usually intimidated by other men, and most especially the ones whose persona features that typical bantering, locker-room swagger that develops among high school/college guys - ugh! I understand that autism is an entirely different cause of social challenges. But please know that some non-spectrum folks also suffer from serious feelings of social alienation!

    • @bethanymuvceski475
      @bethanymuvceski475 5 лет назад +3

      pbasswil very well said !!!!!! On point !

    • @pbasswil
      @pbasswil 5 лет назад +2

      @@bethanymuvceski475 Glad it resonated, Bethany. :^) Can I ask if you, yourself, are here because you've been assessed and diagnosed?

    • @bethanymuvceski475
      @bethanymuvceski475 5 лет назад +6

      pbasswil no actually I stumbled across this video and was just intrigued by the subject . My teen struggles with some of the anxiety and shyness in groups settings and I was thinking 🤔 wait a second if my daughter watched this she would think maybe that’s me ..... but it’s just so common! I’m not at all on spectrum and was the same way growing up . I feel like some people want to be labeled . But I don’t agree with any labels ! We’re all unique and different ! So common to be anxious in this big world 🌎!

  • @DeMafiaGirl
    @DeMafiaGirl 2 года назад +686

    Selective mutism is a big struggle because even when I do say something everyone just flat out ignores me so it just makes me even more anxious and even more mute in group situations

    • @monicagambino318
      @monicagambino318 2 года назад +21

      I have exactly the same experience

    • @tamilee9462
      @tamilee9462 2 года назад +20

      I'm with you on that. Then I get mad and yell over and at everyone. TLEE HAS SPOKEN! Awkward silence

    • @TrishaAnnwithanE
      @TrishaAnnwithanE 2 года назад +9

      My kiddo feels that he isn’t heard, Listened to or seen after selective mutism.

    • @okaycola2
      @okaycola2 2 года назад +3

      Yeah well what can we do about it

    • @dstre17
      @dstre17 2 года назад +7

      May I ask how you would feel more supported or heard in those situations? I am a Girl Scout leader with a young lady that struggles and I want to support her.

  • @star_Nichole
    @star_Nichole Год назад +97

    I’m not diagnosed but I’ve been watching videos of autism in females for the past few days and I have never felt more seen and understood in my entire life. I check every box and I feel this load of pressure finally being lifted off my shoulders, it made me cry because I’ve always felt like there was something incredibly wrong with me.

    • @dannyhaych
      @dannyhaych Год назад +9

      It's refreshing to find that it WASN'T anything wrong with you. And that this sense of being different inside is validated and understood by so many

    • @Noybiee
      @Noybiee Год назад +4

      SOO TRUEE😢❤ I finally started accepting and loving myself so much more after understanding that I have a reason for being and especially "feeling" different... I feel so much more elevated, and everything makes sense somehow.

    • @NinjaFuckingTurtle
      @NinjaFuckingTurtle 9 месяцев назад

      I know what you mean.. I have been researching the same thing since late January this year nonstop, writing a list (it's so long and I'm in the process of writing it all in a notebook categorized) because I know I won't be able to articulate or remember anything because its giving me too much anxiety in situations like that, for when I'm gonna go get tested for autism wraaa. Also suspect adhd, but definitely suspect mild autism. I will be so surprised if they decide I don't have it

    • @grouchygeek4176
      @grouchygeek4176 2 месяца назад

      I'm right there with you. It was like the light bulb finally came on when I found videos like these and I was like "THAT! THATS IT! THATS WHATS WRONG WITH ME!!" I check every box too. It is such a relieving feeling, but at the same time it also makes me want to cry because of all the shit I went through growing up and the fact that everyone made me hate myself for just being me. I kept telling my mom that there was something different about me growing up but she never listened! It ALL makes sense now!

  • @Ducttaper4JC2
    @Ducttaper4JC2 5 лет назад +853

    To me, masking isn't lying about who I am... it's about expressing who I am in a "second language." Just like someone who learns English later in life has to think harder to find the words to express what they want to say, I have to think harder about how to express myself in a neurotypical world. I'm not changing myself, just how I express myself, because no one else speaks my "native language."

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  5 лет назад +15

      ✌🏼

    • @sammypatterson
      @sammypatterson 5 лет назад +41

      Really great way to put it

    • @Nortarachanges
      @Nortarachanges 5 лет назад +12

      Wow that feels so true! Nicely put ^_^

    • @aly27
      @aly27 5 лет назад +23

      Melissa Bergthold I totally agree with this! I’m the same-I think that’s probably why it’s so hard to know when I am masking and when we I am being totally myself.

    • @_exitcrypt
      @_exitcrypt 5 лет назад +19

      Melissa your explanation of this is perfect. i struggle with the masking most of all, and it often gets so exhausting i get burn outs. i also struggled with identity because of it. i've always been hard on myself for masking, feeling like i am being ingenuine even tho i'm technically not. it IS like speaking a second language! i feel like the people and things i take from to form my outward personality in public are like symbols that i'm putting together to create the "right" sentence. i crave understanding from people and when i'm not masking (using my "native language") i've noticed people react to me as if i'm "weird" or as if everything i'm saying makes no sense to them. thank you for putting it this way!

  • @aniab2947
    @aniab2947 4 года назад +735

    1:45 masking
    5:47 selective mutism
    8:39 making small talk
    11:22 socializing

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  4 года назад +100

      HERO

    • @YeshuaIsTheTruth
      @YeshuaIsTheTruth 4 года назад +14

      @Angelus Santi Jesus loves you. You don't have to be tormented any longer, just call out to him and ask him what he has in store for you. May God bless you with light and understanding, in Jesus' name.

    • @Cliohna
      @Cliohna 4 года назад +34

      + 15:12 isolation

    • @vicsarcher9695
      @vicsarcher9695 3 года назад +20

      It is also exhausting to mask. My teenager goes out with friends and comes back so exhausted, they have to shut down or sleep. Quite often, they say they can't "human" anymore (their words) x

    • @Swansong321
      @Swansong321 3 года назад +5

      @Vics Archer THAT'S me exactly!❤..I can't human anymore!😁..I have to take to my bed after socialising and monitoring myself..in case I relax and say something "weird"..it's absolutely exhausting!

  • @XxMarisMassacrexX
    @XxMarisMassacrexX 5 лет назад +2378

    i wonder if theres a way to get a diagnosis without leaving my house.

    • @dr.m9035
      @dr.m9035 4 года назад +344

      too anxious to leave my house and get food. so i'd rather starve than interact with humans

    • @lalaw.1625
      @lalaw.1625 4 года назад +185

      Yes! I really wish I could get tested without going to a doctor's office. It gets me anguished to imagine going for that

    • @Thelittleclipstore
      @Thelittleclipstore 4 года назад +21

      Do u know ur mbti type? Maybe take a test Then study it deeply , that can solve a lot of confusion and fear . Personality hacker is great site

    • @Blueycat8546
      @Blueycat8546 4 года назад +33

      It runs in my family and my grandson has autism and another is being tested.my kids all have anxiety etc but 1 she struggled in life with what i said was probably social anxiety and found it so hard to talk etc she went to uni and came out of her shell cos i told her she just has to see she is different and mite take her longer but if she really wants something she can get it.after 2yrs learning more about computers and her art she is obsessed with along with manga type things she has finally got a graffics design job.she too hides things but lets loose at home she is so funny and i tell her this and to not worrying about what she thinks is her failures because people dont see that so its about the praise and making yourself do things actually makes you realise it isnt that scarey.her words 😁

    • @IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS
      @IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS 4 года назад +89

      Had to return two Amazon packages. Had a month to do it. Sent them back the day before the due date. It was just one more social interaction I didn't want to have.

  • @sksbc3895
    @sksbc3895 Год назад +121

    I'm a 61-year-old female with Asperger's /ASD, and you hit the nail on the head when you said it's the fear of rejection and/or judgment that keeps you less social. My anxiety can be debilitating before an event, so much so that I'll cancel. On the other hand, I deal with people all day in my boutique and handle it well because I have a well-scripted conversation of small talk at the ready that I've collected over the years. Learning I have ASD confuses some people so much that some even suspect I don't have Asperger's at all. I have a tiny group of trusted/ nonjudgmental friends and keep it that way because it's just easier and less stressful for me. When I was around 33 I had a massive identity crisis as I realized I literally had several different identities I had created to fit in with all the different groups of people in my life, ie/ at the office, my artistic/musician friends, my relatives, my intellectual friends, my partying friends etc. I masked for all of them, and after many years became depressed over it because I didn't know who I was or what I really liked. Charl, you are fortunate you've lived in these times and are more educated on ASD than I was in my younger years. Life could have been much different, had I known more about the subject of ASD but my condition was completely overlooked by a generation that meant well but that didn't know better. All the best to you.

    • @fionawhiteford2128
      @fionawhiteford2128 Год назад +4

      omg ,you just described me 😮i am 61 female ...i am trying to summon up the dr to make an app to request a referral for assesment .....realizing im neuro diverse is such a revelation for me and explains so much about my life ...

    • @myles5388
      @myles5388 Год назад +3

      I’m only 23 and I’ve recently isolated myself of from friend groups because the masking was so exhausting + struggling with identity. What advice would you give to someone going through the same thing???

    • @sayusayme7729
      @sayusayme7729 Год назад +1

      Wow, so many similarities. 62 years. Thank you 🩵

    • @cathymack1886
      @cathymack1886 Год назад

      All this, then, I, sometimes recycle my third grade jokes, and people think I'm enjoying myself. I'm not. I'm fairly certain they're not enjoying me, either.

    • @cathymack1886
      @cathymack1886 Год назад +4

      ​@@myles5388
      Exhausting is exactly right. I don't have advice, except, if you can't find your "tribe", at least, get with people with similar interests. May the force be with you.

  • @ruths1287
    @ruths1287 6 лет назад +575

    she pulls off the white/silver hair trend better than anyone else i’ve seen

  • @ShellieFleming
    @ShellieFleming 5 лет назад +427

    “When the script runs out what do I do now?” Yep, totally relate. I would tell my parents I talked all my words out.

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  5 лет назад +1

      Ahh yes it can be super difficult I hear you there. I do lots of stuff and I cover 3 of the main ones in my feee masterclass if you are interested: www.copingsecrets.com/masterclass Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @blabarsris6012
      @blabarsris6012 4 года назад +5

      It often happens to me when I talk to people. I can talk about something for a while and then suddenly I’m all out of words.

    • @shelzblack488
      @shelzblack488 4 года назад

      Yes this is me

  • @damiana_9
    @damiana_9 5 лет назад +705

    I also currently obsess and have obsessed about what " I should have said.." "what I could have said"
    .. Cringing at the awkward way in which I interacted. Leaving my house is hard. Answering my phone is difficult and scary. I don't have energy for others. I need my bed,a hoodie and relief in my obsessions/research indulgences to feel relaxed.

    • @iprobablyforgotsomething
      @iprobablyforgotsomething 5 лет назад +37

      Phones are the worst -- no visual cues + slower processing speed = hell -- and the tendency for ASD people to have great long-term memory (especially for upsetting stuff) *really* works against us. : /

    • @katja904
      @katja904 5 лет назад +19

      The same for me..somehow the words that i could or should have said come's to my mind only afterwards..and it's so annoying

    • @annettep5295
      @annettep5295 5 лет назад +20

      This is exactly why I was diagnosed with social anxiety, I'm constantly doing this and then start to worry if the other person misinterpreted what I said.

    • @kiwicreation5931
      @kiwicreation5931 5 лет назад +10

      D oh I feel you - I’ve just spent couple days obsessing over an email I replied to with 3 people for work...

    • @truvy_5544
      @truvy_5544 5 лет назад +8

      Exactly, I think I need to get check for social anxiety. It's getting worse for me to where I rather be just isolated

  • @nicolec-w7q
    @nicolec-w7q Год назад +60

    I have cerebral palsy and I can literally relate to all of these traits. Being in social gatherings, afraid of being judged or saying the wrong thing, obsessing about what you did say and if someone took it the wrong way, is so tiring. I completely get it.

    • @bf4330
      @bf4330 Год назад +5

      Same for many of us. We're with you. Thanks for sharing ❤

    • @kithralia7172
      @kithralia7172 Год назад +2

      I have Ataxic cerebral palsy, severe asperger's and a bunch of other stuff too, I really connected with this video I haven't left the house other than for a doctor appointment in well over a year

  • @nanettenanette8665
    @nanettenanette8665 5 лет назад +640

    i'm fully convinced that there is no such thing as a 'typical' person

  • @Investigativebean
    @Investigativebean 5 лет назад +440

    I’ve just come to realize that people mostly like to talk about themselves anyhow. If you just let them roll with that, you don’t really have to say much at all lol.

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  5 лет назад +2

      Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @frostedsilver
      @frostedsilver 5 лет назад +21

      Yep!! Mastering the art of listening is one of the reasons I passed as NT for so long, I think. If I didn't say much, I just seemed "shy" or introverted.

    • @panthersphinx3901
      @panthersphinx3901 5 лет назад +10

      Yeah, that's my strategy too. Just throw questions and try to listen.

    • @misscottencandy15
      @misscottencandy15 5 лет назад +8

      That's exactly what i do and nobody fuckin notices hahaha they love me for it

    • @justmorenoise
      @justmorenoise 5 лет назад +2

      Oh my gawsh lol I do this and I am good at it. Lol people are shocked out if their brain when they find out I’m on disability support pension. They like WHAT? there’s nothing wrong with you! Lol boy oh boy they don’t know what your life is actually like haha

  • @lauriemrdjan
    @lauriemrdjan 6 лет назад +1056

    Thank you for continuing to show autism from the female perspective. It is so important and often overlooked.

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  6 лет назад +26

      It is super important :)! Thank you for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @swimminginarainbow1646
      @swimminginarainbow1646 5 лет назад

      I agree x

    • @karenghio3844
      @karenghio3844 5 лет назад +5

      @Ieah Leen I wish you the best of luck. I live in a place where I am lucky enough to have access to adult autism testing services, but they refuse to give me the test because my autism is not destroying my life "enough". This dismissal was the final straw. Nobody should have to write out a convincing drama script for a neurotypical researcher just to have access to an official diagnosis. I will pursue more confirmation with my therapist, but the real test for me will be when my adult children get their official diagnosis. That is enough for me. It should not matter if you are "official or not". If you can self identify, then you are welcome to sit by me. I know I am on the spectrum and so does the rest of the world. The school knew it in 1982 when I was about 12 but they didn't know what it was so they labeled me and sent me off to advanced level classes and forgot about me. Look for the signs in your past. Ask honest open-ended questions to your loved ones. These are the people who are qualified to tell you. Most of all, trust yourself and best of luck.

    • @MayHugger
      @MayHugger Год назад

      @@karenghio3844 It’s so bullshit that they diagnose based on how much of your life gets negatively impacted by your Autism, or as somewhere that I read put it, “how much the other person experiences your Autism”.

  • @kristinaandthegerman4554
    @kristinaandthegerman4554 2 года назад +81

    I try and “judge the room” to see if my conversation will accepted. Often, I fail so I try to follow my husband’s lead. That may or may not help. I’m often accused of being shy or self-centered in large groups. But get me in small gathering of 4-5/people and I’m okay.
    It takes months or a year or two for me to make a friend. Unfortunately, my childhood taught me that I won’t be accepted in a crowd.
    I did, however, have a person I knew when I was 11 apologize to me in my late 40s for how she treated me. She’s a physician and now recognizes what I was dealing with and what she dished. It was validation and cathartic.

    • @HumanBeing1974
      @HumanBeing1974 Год назад +2

      Beautiful! What a Blessing!
      Not one person has ever apologized to me.

    • @radrayj4933
      @radrayj4933 Год назад

  • @cie2035
    @cie2035 3 года назад +433

    i’ve always thought that it was just extreme social anxiety, but hearing that sentence of “i’ve spent so long masking that I don’t actually know who I am or what I like” really clicked with me. I think new social situations are so hard for me because I don’t know immediately what they’re expecting so I don’t know how to mask. I’ve always been so angry at myself for isolating myself and of being so afraid of any kind of social situation, but this video helped a lot.

    • @olgatrilogymartin3143
      @olgatrilogymartin3143 2 года назад +3

      Face your fears be yourself

    • @naju02
      @naju02 2 года назад

      same :(

    • @renii4177
      @renii4177 2 года назад

      same here

    • @msmith3129
      @msmith3129 2 года назад +4

      Right wondering the same atm, still not too sure the difference between anxiety and autism

    • @edelleaa
      @edelleaa Год назад +1

      @@セラフィナ every time i try to push myself and act more outgoing i immediately feel even worse and more awkward honestly.

  • @bexabex
    @bexabex 4 года назад +589

    The part about being bullied for being the quiet one almost has me in tears.

    • @davinagurl6032
      @davinagurl6032 4 года назад +25

      i got that in primary school in england, being shy, quiet and reclusive.

    • @kathybrem880
      @kathybrem880 4 года назад +16

      That was my life all thru school-as an adult, I’ve married, had five great kids, become a gramma, a functioning and successful EMT. Life can improve for everyone

    • @bellefairydust
      @bellefairydust 4 года назад +4

      That happened to me

    • @KidRoctopus93
      @KidRoctopus93 4 года назад +2

      I’ve been told I More autistic by more than one person that’s known me very closely. And I have always been inappropriately loud and invasive if I’m uncomfortable. I always gave the quiet kid shit. There quiet made me uneasy. “Are you ok? What’s your name? Are you a serial killer? Do you like The Ramones ? Say something!!”

    • @bellefairydust
      @bellefairydust 4 года назад +4

      @@KidRoctopus93 so you were projecting your insecurities?

  • @nadiasaurusrex
    @nadiasaurusrex 4 года назад +454

    "What I'm actually doing is running off a script" YES! I call mine my "social algorithm". I have built up a mental blueprint on how to interact with people and be polite and chat. It's probably similar to most people's customer service mode. That's why I'm so good in a professional setting but SUCK at making friends.

    • @toonatonian286
      @toonatonian286 4 года назад +9

      Aren't "friends" overrated?

    • @patriciaroysdon9540
      @patriciaroysdon9540 4 года назад +18

      Friends are valuable. The trick is finding them and making the friendship work when times get tough.

    • @jackrobinson9403
      @jackrobinson9403 4 года назад +9

      you need other people to succeed sadly.
      Think of the Beatles and if they would of been as successful without each other, different strengths.
      This was actually something Steve Jobs focused on with his business models, make sure people with different skills etc work together to create greater products

    • @rileylovebucket6080
      @rileylovebucket6080 4 года назад +10

      Wow. WOW! I use the same exact word, "algorithm." Mind blown. I have actually written equations to calculate the extent of my perceived introversion.

    • @hamandcheesedandwich
      @hamandcheesedandwich 4 года назад +8

      SAME i am soo bad at making friendships with people because I never know how to get past the scripted small talk stage but it does make me pretty good at customer service so that's one good thing😂

  • @startfromzer0podcast
    @startfromzer0podcast 2 года назад +60

    I won’t lie, my heart shattered into a million pieces realizing I have so many, if not all of these traits. I cried and released. Thank you so much for sharing and I hope to inspire others like you have with your vulnerability.

    • @weaverdreams
      @weaverdreams Год назад +6

      Me too. Is it helping you or is it scaring you? Because it’s possible you don’t have it. But if you’re suddenly looking back on thoughts feelings and actions in the past and the way you’re were treated by others and suddenly now it makes it to you the key will be to have compassion for yourself. Love and except yourself. That’s where I’m at right now and I’m possibly looking into joining an aspergers group.

  • @Nextgenerationkdz
    @Nextgenerationkdz 5 лет назад +1225

    She’s so pretty she’s like the punk Elsa ❄️❄️

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  5 лет назад +19

      ✌🏼Thank you so much for the comment! Make sure you are subscribed and have the notifications turned on :).

    • @recoveringsoul755
      @recoveringsoul755 5 лет назад +15

      There is another girl online who sings with similar coloring. She seems very much a quiet shut in also. Holly Henry. Even her singing voice is very soft and ethereal. Seems she would be very much at home with fairy wings on.

    • @SeraSophia646
      @SeraSophia646 4 года назад +13

      @@recoveringsoul755, I feel the same about Aurora.. I've wondered if she might be Aspie. Her voice is so hauntingly beautiful. You can tell she's in a world of her own if you watch the video of the acoustic version of "Running with the Wolves".

    • @maurinoshi
      @maurinoshi 4 года назад +2

      Exactly what I was thinking!😁

  • @youngmosh
    @youngmosh 3 года назад +1003

    I’m 22 and finally coming to terms that I might be on the spectrum. I can’t help but feel sort of mad that my parents never noticed and would in fact punish me for some of my symptoms.

    • @RUSrocket21
      @RUSrocket21 2 года назад +57

      I have Asperger’s and I have had a very similar experience to your experience with your parents. The most important thing I have learned in life (I’m 30) is that you must let go of your resentment towards your parents. After you do and comes up again, destroy it again then again and again. If you get diagnosed with ASD (or if you already have since your comment) I found it’s extremely relieving to let go of stuff like that.

    • @aboomination897
      @aboomination897 2 года назад +46

      you are young at 22. i envy you for the early realization.

    • @ArianaCapraro
      @ArianaCapraro 2 года назад +28

      I’m 26. So my mother was a teacher and trained to pick up on these things right?? There was some heaaavy ableism and other issues from my moms side of the family that I just didn’t pick up on as a kid but there’s no way she didn’t notice and she’d get pissy at me about stuff and I didn’t know what the heck I was doing wrong. She straight up threatened to pull me out of the school I adored if I wasn’t able to pay attention, finish my work and keep my desk clean, which is why she switched me to that school in the first place. RThat was 6th grade I think, it just broke my heart.

    • @wedp112
      @wedp112 2 года назад +34

      I understand everything they are saying and been this way my whole life, I have a narcissistic mother and she wanted me to perform in front of people to make her look good, often getting frustrated and violent with me for being too shy, and doing quirky things, not fitting her mould.

    • @neptun6761
      @neptun6761 2 года назад +8

      This is littarly me
      I was diagnosed with dislexia and ADHD at a quiete young age
      They gave me ritalin when i was 10 and it made me depresd after about 1 week
      So i stoped taking them

  • @64gjb
    @64gjb 6 лет назад +619

    I'm a 72 female, a long time to be autistic. I like the way you broke it down. Socialization is so painful. I still don't have friends and I stay home a lot. My daughters told me to get out more so I went to join a senior citizens group, never happened. I felt like there was a glass wall between me and the person I was talking too and conversation just stopped and they made no more eye contact, I was imploding, I actually felt like I was shrinking to the point of invisibility. People at the table were talking among themselves I wasn't included and I had nothing to contribute. I was so uncomfortable I left. I said "It was nice meeting you all." and got no responses it was like I never spoke then I was depressed for a week. I was labled by my family as weird, gullible, antisocial, split personality, unruly, not talking much, keeping to myself, curious, I was always fixing things, my only friend was my dog. Things are still the same.

    • @sashasasha9598
      @sashasasha9598 6 лет назад +83

      I am sooo sory for you. I understand you. I for example never finished my studies becouse I could not cope with stress of being among people all the time and that is very sad becouse I was one of the best students, I love my profession very much. Now I spend most of my time at home with my books, my two dogs and a cat. I don't have any job and I am in fear of my future if I continue like this, I won't have anithing... (i am 34 year old women, sorry for my english). Wish you all best! At least we now know why are we like this all our lives...

    • @ooman56
      @ooman56 6 лет назад +51

      Hi Gloria, thank you for posting your experiences, this is so helpful! I'm 63, female, married to a high functioning autistic guy-my own diagnosis- with 2 autistic boys- also my own diagnosis. And now I realize I have it too, duh! My sister has a daughter who WAS diagnosed and now I can see it's a family thing, Mom, sister, her kids, my kids. I've wondered why, for my whole life, I've been invisible in groups...your experiences are mine! I prefer to stay home with my cats and do my own thing. I just have never understood how people communicate and make friends. It's like a foreign language to me. People have often told me I'm weird or goofy...and talk about social anxiety, ack! This is a great video.

    • @JENTHINKSO
      @JENTHINKSO 6 лет назад +30

      Maybe hovering somewhere near the border of ASD, I have had similar experiences myself and I've also been in the position of being accepted and even "mistaken" as cool - at least for a time. (The quotation marks are because Aspies actually ARE the cool ones in my book!) I've watched people ostracize the Aspie in the group and I've also been the rejected one myself. NTs know exactly what they're doing when they do this and I respect them way less for it. I discontinue the friendship if I discover an Aspiephobe in the "friend". Despite lots of bs about being a good person or a good Christian, or whatever they tell themselves, I'll never cease to be amazed at how shallow, petty, and ego-driven a lot of people seem to be.
      If you're willing to try meeting new people again, here's a suggestion: there's an app called "meetup". Use it to find groups and meetups of people with ASD.

    • @cthornton523
      @cthornton523 6 лет назад +13

      Gloria and Buster
      You wonderful, brave, brilliant human, you!!
      I relate to every word.
      I'm 48.
      Try the Meetups. My 68 yr old mother does them, it's not "for the odd."
      Good luck!!

    • @pawpkitty
      @pawpkitty 6 лет назад +22

      Gloria I'm so sorry. If you need to talk sometime please don't hesitate to message me on google+ . You won't have to worry about eye contact. We're all here for you. You're important.

  • @CadetRedShirt
    @CadetRedShirt 2 года назад +61

    Socializing is sooooooo difficult, women in general are also expected to do a lot of empathizing as well
    I noticed while watching this that I have that fear / anger flare up at social events especially unplanned ones! I once had a surprise birthday party throw for me and I was SO ANGRY the whole party, unpredictability of the party and breaking my expected routine for that day.

    • @stoverboo
      @stoverboo 6 месяцев назад

      Friends organized a 21st birthday party for me, and I spent most of the evening at the library. The next day, they had to hunt me up and tell me to be there that evening for it. It never occurred to me to call up my friends to hang out on my birthday, and I was astonished that anyone would have celebrated my birthday in that way.

  • @mthsarchives507
    @mthsarchives507 5 лет назад +652

    this vid made me cry bc ive been struggling all my life wondering why i am the way i am and this explains it all spot on

    • @laynaaaj3477
      @laynaaaj3477 5 лет назад +11

      Hana Hong omggg I cried too.

    • @Diondra1738
      @Diondra1738 5 лет назад +8

      Hana Hong me too

    • @horo53280
      @horo53280 5 лет назад +40

      just in case anyone needs this: there are many reasons one may have social anxiety. I think it's always better to seek professional help. I myself was diagnosed with neurosis (other names may apply in different parts of the world I guess) but I can relate to most of the things mentioned. Also my female friend was diagnosed with autism recently (that's why I'm here) and we noticed some time ago how similar some of our problems are.
      I hope I don't sound like smart*ss ;) It just took me way too long to seek help and now I regret this.

    • @averyreinhardt145
      @averyreinhardt145 5 лет назад +1

      Omg me too

    • @picashlio3361
      @picashlio3361 5 лет назад +1

      I get it now too.

  • @callieoh3079
    @callieoh3079 4 года назад +321

    Every single thing she said.... She's in my head.

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  4 года назад +9

      Ooh!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @Fettomocken
      @Fettomocken 4 года назад +6

      @@TheAspieWorld And your comment immediately comes off as very self serving

    • @kleinemaus6094
      @kleinemaus6094 4 года назад

      Ditto

    • @laurela6626
      @laurela6626 4 года назад

      Mine too!

    • @Zombie101
      @Zombie101 3 года назад +8

      All the things you said all the things you said, running through my head running through my head, this is not enough

  • @cindypekarek7982
    @cindypekarek7982 2 года назад +448

    OMG, The friendship thing is so true for me! I never call my friends, but I'm happy to see them or hear from them. Calling seems like a lot of commitment and possible rejection.

    • @keeperfamily2853
      @keeperfamily2853 2 года назад +3

      Me too :( my bestest friend is the one who has agreed to write to one another once in a blue moon. We never message or call. Lol

    • @madelineramos7970
      @madelineramos7970 Год назад +7

      I never contact my friends now I do not go out w/any of them. Communication is texting

    • @bernlin2000
      @bernlin2000 Год назад +1

      Well when do you call? I'm not the spontaneous type for that stuff, might be better to actually schedule phone calls, but even that might create anxiety. So I text...if someone wanted to call or video message me, I would definitely consider it, but I'm really "video ready"...there is nothing useful to see there 🤣 my voice is more than enough lol

    • @mcpartridgeboy
      @mcpartridgeboy Год назад +2

      lol try being a guy and dealing with rejection from all women, if you cant take your friend saying no you would be utterly fucked as a guy.

    • @xfreja
      @xfreja 10 месяцев назад

      fr omgg

  • @SDReelsOnline
    @SDReelsOnline 2 года назад +128

    She is so beautiful and sweet. God bless her for not letting people make her into a bad person. The fact that people would bully and reject someone with autism just makes me sick. What kind of world do we live in? Hugs to everyone who endures being lonely in this horrible world.

    • @shaunkrose
      @shaunkrose Год назад +1

      What do you mean by not letting people make her into a bad person?

    • @sadieadler4383
      @sadieadler4383 Год назад +3

      We live in a very ableist world that's what it is and that won't ever change anytime soon.

    • @lindabelcher8087
      @lindabelcher8087 Год назад

      🫂🥰

    • @cameronschyuder9034
      @cameronschyuder9034 Год назад

      @@shaunkrose some people, when faced with enough cruelty, become mean and/or jaded. Hurt people hurt people, is the common phrase. This is for any demographic of people, really, but this video is on ASD, so yeah

  • @whocareswhoiam6637
    @whocareswhoiam6637 5 лет назад +461

    For me the fear of talking through phones is also about people being unpredictable. I have a real issue with figuring what people want or feel without visual cues. I can't predict their reactions which means that I can't adapt mine in advance. Texting is easier because I can take a few seconds or even a few minutes figuring out what I'm going to say so there is a lot less pressure

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  5 лет назад +6

      I can relate!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @amandaanne3578
      @amandaanne3578 5 лет назад +3

      Same!

    • @80swoodpanel
      @80swoodpanel 5 лет назад +13

      If I get as much as one phone call at work, it will ruin my day. I'll go over it over and over and think about nothing else...

    • @whocareswhoiam6637
      @whocareswhoiam6637 5 лет назад +1

      @@80swoodpanel A few years back I had a summer job in a bank and I had to call dozens and dozens of clients everyday to ask them to do stuff because apparently none of them knew how to read mails or something. That was pure torture

    • @lillypieisme
      @lillypieisme 5 лет назад +10

      Periwinkleeyes70 Omg. I thought I was the only one who had a fear of phones. I don’t think I have autism but if I do, that could be a good explanation for my social anxiety issues and communication issues. I came to this channel because my little brother has autism and I was just doing research but I can totally relate to this. 😅

  • @rhondamarshall4152
    @rhondamarshall4152 5 лет назад +390

    Was anyone ever fearful of hearing their own voice?! It almost can become like a phobia of dreading to speak and then worrying about what others are thinking of you.

    • @rhondamarshall4152
      @rhondamarshall4152 4 года назад +4

      It's tough when we feel like we don't fit in, but then on the other hand, to be human is to be unique. :)

    • @jadeykinz1026
      @jadeykinz1026 4 года назад +17

      Yes. I have even nearly been reduced to tears when someone has recorded my voice and made me listen to it.

    • @isabelorourke2609
      @isabelorourke2609 4 года назад +8

      Jade Povey when ever I hear myself talking in a video, it makes me cringe because it doesn't sound anything like how I normally talk.

    • @jadeykinz1026
      @jadeykinz1026 4 года назад

      @@isabelorourke2609 I can relate so hard.

    • @mercyr6105
      @mercyr6105 4 года назад

      Yeeeees

  • @TableForOne01
    @TableForOne01 5 лет назад +505

    I've been interrupted every single time I talk, no exagerration. Everytime. So, guess wbat. Yea. I no longer talk.

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  5 лет назад +11

      Ah, it can be difficult. Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @ashleygeorge5972
      @ashleygeorge5972 5 лет назад +23

      I'm not on the spectrum, but I understand that. I really dislike being interrupted by people. However, I think you should try to talk anyways. It's not your fault if someone is interrupting you, you deserve to talk in the conversation too. If someone interrupts you, the best thing to do is to keep talking. Usually, people will let you talk if you do that, but if they don't, then I recommend talking to people that won't constantly interrupt you. Also, I recommend talking to more people that let you talk without interrupting. I personally enjoy talking to people that are good listeners, so those are the people I try to surround myself with :)

    • @jeanicegraves9322
      @jeanicegraves9322 5 лет назад +1

      😢

    • @seashell1800
      @seashell1800 5 лет назад +3

      Same!

    • @polentapalola
      @polentapalola 5 лет назад +20

      Same, when i start to talk about something that i'm really interested about and someone interrupts, i just don't talk about that anymore, unless it is some friend that i know is interested in the same thing

  • @sidneygordon2804
    @sidneygordon2804 2 года назад +510

    It's crazy how identical these symptoms are to social anxiety disorder. I've been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and this is exactly what I go through.
    *edit* clearly I have triggered a lot of you who want to gatekeep a neurological disorder. I have never even been evaluated for anything like autism, but social anxiety is far from the only autistic trait I have. I do finally have an appointment for a therapist to eventually refer me to a psychiatrist to be evaluated. I could be autistic without even knowing due to misdiagnosis. That is my point. That is the point of this video. So all of you saying, "heh, that's because it's social anxiety and not autism," are missing the point and should stop assuming shit.

    • @cleocatra9324
      @cleocatra9324 2 года назад +33

      And some ADHD

    • @XlogicXX
      @XlogicXX 2 года назад +18

      I was just wondering about that. some symptoms I do identify with, others not. I think I'm leaning toward SA for me.

    • @Leopardv8448
      @Leopardv8448 2 года назад +3

      I agree

    • @MeTreesndirt
      @MeTreesndirt 2 года назад +13

      That's because almost all of us have that. Everyone's in fear of being percieved as
      Weird. That's why public speaking is the big fear.

    • @RubelliteFae
      @RubelliteFae 2 года назад +29

      For one, psychology is unique from the sciences in that it doesn't follow the scientific method (little to no experimentation or peer review). So, when they come up with a diagnosis, they are basically guessing at a little box to try to fit people into. The reality of people is that we are messy and all things are on spectrums and little boxes don't quite fit everyone.
      For another, much of the problems aren't actually lie in the individual. Most problems arise from the specific types of interactions between individuals and society. If society were better structured, we as individuals wouldn't have so many difficulties interfacing with it. This is also why psychology doesn't work all over the world and why anthropological psychology is a field. Psychology has a Western, chiefly American, bias.
      All that to say, I see autism, SAD, & neurotypicality as three points of a triangle gradient.

  • @jadeykinz1026
    @jadeykinz1026 4 года назад +92

    They say school is the best and easiest time of your life. Not for me. It was pure hell.

    • @davinagurl6032
      @davinagurl6032 4 года назад +7

      same here, from 63 to 69 primary school in england, i was so shy, introverted and naive and stuttered on many words, incl my own name. but talked to myself without stuttering. would be in my room and draw or paint A4 pictures.

  • @CarissaWyles
    @CarissaWyles 4 года назад +145

    When you said "I don't know what makes me so scared to connect with other people" I really felt that.

  • @lashubi80
    @lashubi80 5 лет назад +345

    Car rides are the worst for me. Trapped in a moving vehicle and feeling pressured to talk when all i want to do is look out the window and relax. Ubers and Lyfts should have a no chatting option, PLEASE🙏

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  5 лет назад +1

      Yes!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @trueheart8739
      @trueheart8739 5 лет назад +1

      Diana Galvan just put obvious eye buds/plugs or blue tooth in your ears, like you’re listening to music and usually no one tries to chat when they think you’re listening to something.

    • @JK-bp6oz
      @JK-bp6oz 5 лет назад +1

      Then don't do it. You dont have to talk to anyone. At most politely say, I would like a quiet ride. I don't feel like talking.

    • @robertf6523
      @robertf6523 5 лет назад +5

      If I had a new enough car to do uber&lyft... you'd be my favorite passenger. My big worry about if I do get into uber&lyft is that the majority of passengers would expect their driver to socially interact with them.

    • @imafemale4365
      @imafemale4365 5 лет назад

      Oh my goodness yes!

  • @heathermansur8673
    @heathermansur8673 2 года назад +40

    After 44 years of wondering why I felt so different, this information has been so enlightening! Thank you so much for spreading the word about women's struggles with this issue. I'm so glad to know I'm not alone.

    • @tanyavince5086
      @tanyavince5086 2 года назад +3

      I'm 43 and only just realising that I'm likely on ther spectrum. I can appreciate that enlightened feeling! 😆

  • @JCannon2010
    @JCannon2010 6 лет назад +151

    I lose the ability to talk when I'm under stress, its like I can't get the connection between my brain and the words

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  6 лет назад +1

      ✌🏼Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @Anna-nl9qr
      @Anna-nl9qr 5 лет назад +11

      Autumn Rose yeah I start to forget how to speak and stutter a bit

    • @heatherlaski629
      @heatherlaski629 5 лет назад +11

      Autumn Rose me too..I’ve always thought it’s cuz I have a memory problem or sometimes just feel stupid

    • @miinxxx
      @miinxxx 5 лет назад +2

      yea cause whenever im excepted to talk, id loose the ability to talk and tense up kind of

    • @evanurena8868
      @evanurena8868 5 лет назад +2

      @@miinxxx Yep, sometimes it puzzles me just as much as those around me. Strange feeling indeed.

  • @RapnFreshD
    @RapnFreshD 5 лет назад +823

    I have always wondered if I am on the spectrum because I can relate to many of the problems but at the same time i don't want to make "a big deal" out of maybe social anxiety or strong introvertedness >_

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  5 лет назад +7

      Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @Gr95dc
      @Gr95dc 5 лет назад +35

      I can relate so much

    • @KimYuieJae
      @KimYuieJae 5 лет назад +143

      Same. I've always wondered and confused whether I'm on the spectrum as well or is it due to my social anxiety / introverted personality. Is there ways to find out or differentiate it?

    • @RapnFreshD
      @RapnFreshD 5 лет назад +14

      I guess one of the reasons is getting diagnosed (or not) by a professional. But I am not sure how to find out (correctly) for yourself

    • @kristinar.6600
      @kristinar.6600 5 лет назад +1

      Ur not. If u were u just knew. U don't.

  • @lindseylandis6809
    @lindseylandis6809 5 лет назад +143

    Im 43 years old I have 3 adult children and I was just diagnosed with high functioning autism. For the first time in my life I feel like Im not alone

    • @Nikki-kr2se
      @Nikki-kr2se 4 года назад +7

      I'm 41 and was diagnosed in my 30's. You're definitely not alone!

    • @biancaf4867
      @biancaf4867 4 года назад +1

      I’m wanting to get checked for this because a lot of it makes sense, but I don’t want to waste my time with doctors who don’t know how to diagnose it in adults. Any tips or suggestions?

    • @Nikki-kr2se
      @Nikki-kr2se 4 года назад +1

      @@biancaf4867 Absolutely. Feel free to email me littleredgymnast@gmail.com, and I am more than willing to share my advice!

  • @elizabethkanaya1337
    @elizabethkanaya1337 2 года назад +27

    I actually had to pause the video and take a moment to keep from crying when Charl spoke about masking so intensely all the time that she had identity issues. Nothing has hit home quite the way that did... whole video was very eye opening. Thank you for sharing.

  • @Healingfromtheroot
    @Healingfromtheroot 4 года назад +228

    Wearing a mask caught up with me finally. Entirely lost my sense of self between ages 28-33 and it’s fun getting to know me now. Have a good day everyone!!!

    • @eri_noemi1462
      @eri_noemi1462 2 года назад

      You should never wear a face diaper. All you idiots were brainwashed into being afraid of the common cold...

    • @KMELT
      @KMELT 2 года назад

      Wow, same exact timeframe for me too. I’m 33 and wish I’d been able to get here earlier but this is so comforting to read ❤ Thanks Cathi 😊

    • @RubelliteFae
      @RubelliteFae 2 года назад +1

      My 30s have been my best decade; the time I've been the most me and not the summation of "a bunch of odd behaviours."
      Didn't happen on it's own though. I think hitting my lowest low and realizing no one could/would help me really forced me to do a lot of introspection and self-work. Hormones, a bit of psychedelics, and Eastern practices (meditation, mindfulness, etc) all really helped.

  • @kensmusing
    @kensmusing 5 лет назад +123

    This got me wondering if I have had autism all my life and I just thought it was anxiety disorder.

  • @unstoppableotter6156
    @unstoppableotter6156 4 года назад +757

    I wonder if the anxiety during social interactions is inherent to autism or learned? I feel early on if I spoke from the heart i was judged or criticized, so I learned to be anxious.

    • @baddiebbarbietingzbanginbo4421
      @baddiebbarbietingzbanginbo4421 3 года назад +54

      same here, i’d say definitely learnt for me

    • @Misshowzat
      @Misshowzat 3 года назад +74

      Yeah I think it's learnt because of people's responses.

    • @anak_kucing101
      @anak_kucing101 3 года назад +73

      There's a lack of information, but my hypothesis says you are born with a tendency to be anxious, but the environment makes you more anxious.

    • @MeTreesndirt
      @MeTreesndirt 3 года назад +7

      Not me. I just rePelled peepl like a alligator.
      I don't mind. I speak the truth. Social niceties are for the meek. Ha!

    • @cassidywilliams3458
      @cassidywilliams3458 3 года назад +19

      Absolutely learned. Most of my barriers were learned, created by my brain to corral me into socially acceptable behaviors. It still doesn’t work though 🤦‍♀️ I’m too stubborn to stay corralled for very long 😂

  • @folksagabookart
    @folksagabookart 2 года назад +40

    The older I get and the more videos I watch on this topic I get more and more convinced that I am on the spectrum. I just don’t understand how it got unnoticed throughout my childhood.

  • @Leah.brooke47
    @Leah.brooke47 4 года назад +265

    Watching these videos about autism almost makes me feel like crying because I relate so much. I get so much crap from people for being quiet or not smiling or whatever and it’s always been a struggle for me feeling like maybe I’m just a shitty person.

  • @RandomJane104
    @RandomJane104 4 года назад +98

    I always thought of myself as just a hardcore introvert, but now I think I'm actually autistic.

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  4 года назад +2

      Ooh!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @ask-why-all-the-time
      @ask-why-all-the-time 3 года назад +26

      Can you make (or have you made) a video that delineates between autism and introversion? That would be super useful. Cheers, a new subscriber

  • @clarenceandlilaw
    @clarenceandlilaw 5 лет назад +403

    I've been caught mimicking a lot because I, "act different around different people." I want to cry because my ex fought with me about this and I didn't know about this then.... And I was just so frustrated because I couldn't stop.... I didn't understand.... I've done it well my whole life and I hate it. I want to be myself but I don't know how. I can't. It's not that I'm afraid to, I just can't.... I don't know how to. I don't know who I am.

    • @tobytheshih-tzu6329
      @tobytheshih-tzu6329 4 года назад +22

      Same I want to cry 😢 I can't stop mimicking people, studying people, all of my friends I act like, I talk just like them I hate it so much I wish I could stop, but I don't know how, I have a bad habit of looking at people too I don't want to do that either I hate it! My social anxiety is so bad I could totally relate to the being around a crowd, and feeling so overwhelmed I couldn't speak, like nothing would come out, all of what she described I do! 😢

    • @leonardograndison5532
      @leonardograndison5532 4 года назад +13

      There is an advantage... if you are nobody.....then you can be anybody....life is everything...only the opinions n perspectives of the thinker narrow life's capacity...there is no one self....only apart of an awareness...you are an awareness that does not know it is aware...but awareness is aware of you.

    • @captainzork6109
      @captainzork6109 4 года назад +9

      People often mimic people they feel connected to to a certain extent. It’s a way of bonding, in a sense. I’m not saying this is what you do. Just that it’s not required to completely banish all of your mimicking.
      Finding out who you are can be a tricky thing. For neurotypicals there are a few perspectives to the self. There’s at least personality, development of identity and the self as a social construct.
      A good start to understanding your personality is by looking at the NEO-PI. bigfive-test.com/
      Development of identity I kind of forgot about.. But one of the things it had to do with is experiencing new things and finding out what you like and don’t like. And then you find your place in the world.
      Self as a social construct. Much of us is dependent on how we relate to others in a social network. Related to this is belonging to a group, and deriving identity from that.
      Another thing is that we tend to compare ourselves to others. That’s useful, as it allows us to assess whether we could do better, for example. And we look at other people’s approval or rejection. That is how we figure out norms. Norms have an important impact on our own value system. (Speaking of values, that is another thing that belongs to personality.)
      I don’t know what it’s like to not know who I am. But I do know that having a stronger sense of the self can give a strong sense of meaning in life. Knowing yourself is on a spectrum. Some are clueless, and others have a really strong core understanding of themselves. I hope for you that you really stand for who you are, when you’re a bit higher on the identity spectrum. And hopefully, you can then talk to others without taking on their identity

    • @emilywood979
      @emilywood979 4 года назад +3

      I read this and almost cried, I’m so similar.

    • @skyel1310
      @skyel1310 4 года назад +2

      Youre literally saying my thoughts out loud. Its so hard. I hope we can all be at peace with ourselves someday.

  • @charcharbinks983
    @charcharbinks983 2 года назад +58

    I don’t have autism, but I have ADHD-C and my therapist sent me this video because many of the traits can overlap. I felt so seen and heard by this video!

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  2 года назад +6

      Oh yes that’s interesting!!! I also have adhd Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @nickhubbard2046
      @nickhubbard2046 Год назад

      Have you ever been evaluated for autism ?

    • @pembebulut2781
      @pembebulut2781 Год назад

      My son is diagnosed w/ autism, that’s why I’m watching this video. I agree that many traits overlap w/ adhd as i am diagnosed with it.

    • @Aishasyed106
      @Aishasyed106 Год назад +2

      What is adhd-C ?? I js heard of adhd..

    • @rachelmmurray
      @rachelmmurray 10 месяцев назад

      @@Aishasyed106 probably 'combined' (inattentive and hyperactive)

  • @hannahraeken3199
    @hannahraeken3199 5 лет назад +184

    When you asked about the masking with like tv shows and movies, I personally do that. I tend to take on characteristics from characters in books too. I don’t realize I’m doing it though which makes others question why I act a certain way randomly, but when I realize I am I try to stop.

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  5 лет назад

      Oh interesting!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @sarasweet5561
      @sarasweet5561 5 лет назад +10

      Ghostofsomeonelonely same here! I always find myself mimicking characteristics, using a characters vocabulary, speaking the way they speak and even moving like them when I walk and things like that.

    • @sanityisrelative
      @sanityisrelative 5 лет назад +4

      @@EruzaSky I do this a lot, from tv and books... I sometimes wonder if I am on the spectrum at all. I relate to a lot of this, but not super intensely.

    • @FTROOLtheband
      @FTROOLtheband 5 лет назад

      When i was younger I do believe I took from tv alot. And it sucked when i realized life wasnt like that and my prepared scripts weren't going to work.

  • @tahsinmazumdar5096
    @tahsinmazumdar5096 5 лет назад +213

    Masking and Selective Mutism go hand-in-hand for me: I used to act rude and pretend to be in a bad mood when engaging in conversations, when instead I just felt too anxious to speak properly. My selective mutism would manifest itself in a way that I would lose the ability to construct full sentences. Even if I forced myself to speak in times like that (which I did a few times), the words that would come out would just be rubbish and nonsensical, so I quickly developed this habit of staying quiet and pretending to be in a bad mood instead.
    At least if you're rude people will leave you alone because they assume that's what you want; whereas if they can tell that you're just anxious, their typical response is to pry further and get you to open up and get comfortable with them, which would freak me out more than anything else because it would feel all the more embarrassing for me. You kind of tend to spiral the more you acknowledge that its there, like an elephant in the room.

    • @cymonescurio
      @cymonescurio 4 года назад +2

      Tahsin Mazumdar wow, yeah.

    • @jewelsparkles13
      @jewelsparkles13 4 года назад

      Exactly me

    • @allcatz
      @allcatz 4 года назад +5

      I'm not young as you all seem to be; I have a very close loved one who got diagnosed with being on the spectrum. I have had anxiety all my life (I'm 62) and learned to mask when I started school -- got tired of getting that "what's wrong with you, weirdo " look. Also experience selective mutism, among others. It's great there's diagnoses now; when I was a kid I was labeled shy or stuck up. Some tried to make me come out of my "shell" and it was agonizing for me.

    • @maeverose6856
      @maeverose6856 4 года назад

      I never that this is what it was called. I totally absolutely do this.

    • @chaanelxo
      @chaanelxo 4 года назад +1

      Wow that is totally me.
      I feel so bad for being rude too but I can't deal with long interactions

  • @thatrunningirl
    @thatrunningirl 5 лет назад +97

    i have aspergers - diagnosed last year - i'm 32 and felt like an alien since i was 15. diagnosis was a huge reassurance to me

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  5 лет назад +1

      Oh hey!! You fit in here! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @PridelessChickz
      @PridelessChickz 5 лет назад +7

      The very first thought I had to myself as a child/toddler was "am I the only robot or alien or is everyone else?" And the fact that that's the first memory I have of me thinking to myself really freaks me out. I wish I could get diagnosed, I really believe I'm on the spectrum

    • @lieveM62
      @lieveM62 5 лет назад +2

      I'm 57 soon, Aspergers wasn't even a diagnosis when I was young. Have been coping for so long (or 'masking' my new word), so wondering what the point is of taking this further.

    • @karenghio3844
      @karenghio3844 5 лет назад +2

      @@lieveM62 There might not be a point in that why do we need something official when we know what we are. I am 51 and your story is also my story. I am not shy about saying that I am on the spectrum. I pursued the official diagnosis, but since if you receive it you are entitled to social service benefits, you will be denied if you are not determined to be "sick enough". In the end, it was all about money and it made my stomach turn. If somebody disputes it because I am not waving around a piece of paper that the neurotypical world created, then I have to ask them, why are you so insistent on being diagnosed by someone who most likely has no idea what this is like? If an official diagnosis is necessary in order for you to receive support services, then by all means, get the official result. If however, you have managed to navigate this world on your own and are content in continue doing so, I would not bother.

    • @patreasedurgin8792
      @patreasedurgin8792 5 лет назад +1

      Oh my this sounds like me totally! I have always thought that I was an alien or something since I was a child.

  • @sofiaramirez5145
    @sofiaramirez5145 2 года назад +30

    Thanks for having this collab. I was diagnosed at 25 and it helped me to start forgiving myself for struggling and understanding that it wasn't my lack of effort that was causing this. I can relate to everything she said, especially the selective mutism and the difficulty sociliazing. It is way easier to me to deal with people older than me than my peers, so my mutism appears a lot around people of my age, as well as I had basically no friends in college for almost 3 years, because I just couldn't connect with anyone. I moved countries 3 years ago and to this day, I have only 2 friends and still struggle about feeling isolated, but therapy has been helping me a lot.

  • @G14CLASSIIFIED
    @G14CLASSIIFIED 5 лет назад +282

    You two are so real. It is refreshing. I totally relate to you both. I am 71 years old and am just starting to understand some of the events of my life in light of what may be my place on the Autism spectrum. Thanks

    • @classicnobody9872
      @classicnobody9872 5 лет назад +2

      If your 71 how do u know how to use technology?

    • @patricioansaldi8021
      @patricioansaldi8021 5 лет назад +20

      @@classicnobody9872 that generation *made* this technology what are you on about??

    • @jennifermarea8011
      @jennifermarea8011 5 лет назад +11

      @@classicnobody9872 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂what's wrong with you? You don't think old people know how to go on RUclips? It's not that complex

    • @unknowuser1843
      @unknowuser1843 5 лет назад +1

      @@classicnobody9872 thanks 4 th a laugh :)

    • @LMorganReynolds
      @LMorganReynolds 5 лет назад +8

      Im 68 and finally becoming me...nice to meet ya.

  • @tracietaggart3051
    @tracietaggart3051 4 года назад +272

    Me: hi, how are you?
    Them: fine, how are you?
    Me: fine, how are you? (Oops! Already said that part!)

    • @kiralynch2423
      @kiralynch2423 4 года назад +18

      I do that all of the time!!!! Actually what's worse is picking the wrong response out of your head. Like they say "Did you find everything?" I'm like "I'm good thank you", and realizing that was the wrong answer...

    • @drgamerstat66
      @drgamerstat66 4 года назад +3

      Panic!!!! 😣

    • @amandachancey7522
      @amandachancey7522 4 года назад +11

      Sometimes after I'm done shopping when the cashier says thank you come back soon I'll say thank you you too and then I'll be like why did I just say that they'll be back they work there lol

  • @juiceboxdestroyer6773
    @juiceboxdestroyer6773 5 лет назад +183

    Her hair color matches her skin perfectly, she’s like a snow princess 😍. I love these videos, thank you!!

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  5 лет назад +3

      Yay!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

  • @noidlehands2019
    @noidlehands2019 2 года назад +44

    Not sure if I have autism, but I definitely mask a lot. I was filling out job applications the other day and ended up doing a personality test. I have been doing this so long, I know how to answer the questions so that I am "socially accepted". My profession is super hard for me because I am a nurse. I tend to hang out on the night shift. I get my patients settled in for the night, so that they sleep. I long to be accepted, but have been hurt so much by people.

    • @montanaflipsq23
      @montanaflipsq23 Год назад +8

      I could’ve written this. I’m a nurse and I was so surprised when I tested out autistically. And no one even believe me because I’m an ENFJ. I Can mask so well that I an loved by people from all walks of life. The truth is, I have hundreds of friends and yet I feel so alone. Thank God for Jesus.

    • @noidlehands2019
      @noidlehands2019 Год назад +1

      @@montanaflipsq23 thank you.

    • @sniedendepoes
      @sniedendepoes Год назад +1

      I’m also an autistic nurse. I went into nursing knowing full well I was autistic and might get into masking exhaustion. It’s not a profession that’s autism safe but it’s a beautiful profession nonetheless

  • @Correctrix
    @Correctrix 5 лет назад +261

    5:50 "So, do you want to talk to us a bit about selective mutism?"
    "No." [falls silent]
    C'mon, guys. That's a comedy gold moment you let slide!!

  • @nancyengle4656
    @nancyengle4656 6 лет назад +31

    I'm a grandmother, 70 yrs. old. I do have almost all of the traits you've posted. I've learned to 'mask' my way into the daily social experiences. I'm so good at 'scripts' and 'acting that people very often want to become close friends. OK, so the amount of mental and physical energy that I have invested in these traits leaves me empty. So the realization of my lack of energy leaves me in a panic and I have to exit the 'potential friendship' right then and there. When someone says "Let's cook together" or "Lets go (somewhere) together." that is the end of the social experience. I often reflect 'on what happened' later and just feel weird. I have always been happy to socialize with children as they are accepting and forgiving. I realize now that one of the reasons I joyfully had 7 children was that. then, I would be so busy with them, I would not be available to socialize with others in the world outside. Thanks for posting, I will share for sure...

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  6 лет назад

      Wow that’s amazingly interesting!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

  • @TheMissbambi
    @TheMissbambi 5 лет назад +716

    I'm trying to find out if i'm maybe autistic or not. I relate to a lot of this but i wonder if that is not something all people do? I always have felt very different from other people idk

  • @peachylexy
    @peachylexy 2 года назад +23

    I have been diagnosed with a learning disability that is said to be very similar to Autism, and have also dealt with severe social anxiety and depression. It feels so validating to hear you share your thoughts about how socializing brings anxiety but loneliness leads to depression. I've been stuck in that cycle for almost half my life now. It is still very difficult for me to make friends but I have learned to be content with just having work friends and spending the rest of my time alone at home. I think it's a good balance since I also really enjoy my alone time. I am proud of myself for who I am today even if I am still known as 'the shy girl'.

    • @michellelablue7
      @michellelablue7 Год назад

      Ppl n the spectrum don’t have learning disabilities tho, their just like you & me it’s more of social stuff or certain behaviors etc etc, I wish ppl would not spread the agenda that autism is NOTHING like retardation.

    • @peachylexy
      @peachylexy Год назад

      @@michellelablue7 Yes it’s true that people with autism do not have a learning disability. They have cognitive impairment, which is different. However, people with learning disabilities are also not mentally slow. Think about those who have dyslexia. They have a type of learning disability, where they have issues with reading at times. That in no way means that they are any less capable of learning than anyone else. I took special education courses in college for my teaching majors, and there are several different types of conditions that require accommodations from schools. Some people simply learn differently, and need assistance to reach the same learning outcomes as others. That in no way makes anyone less able to learn and comprehend.

  • @dreamer7272
    @dreamer7272 5 лет назад +106

    Damn my anxiety is always at its worst around people my own age and I didn’t realise there was others out there who could relate 💕

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  5 лет назад

      Yup!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @theluckypoptart2945
      @theluckypoptart2945 5 лет назад +3

      Oh I'm great with kids and the elderly but can't function with people around my age.

  • @mandacole8703
    @mandacole8703 5 лет назад +158

    In large groups I can't speak, I never even thought about it, it literally feels like my mouth is glued shut. The tention builds up to the point that I feel like if I don't say something other people will notice my silence and I end up saying random things to seem included in the conversation😥

    • @Thelittleclipstore
      @Thelittleclipstore 5 лет назад +1

      That’s me too and most if not all of the myer briggs personality types similr to me , I’m a intp type 5 enneagram and many introverts in general-and that’s a very big percentage do u really think such a big part of world is born with a disorder ? Something just makes no sense .in my family we are six and 4 out of the six act this way... You can read about types and behavior on website personality hacker or see their videos on utube . Any personality type that’s unhealthy or not matured yet will Look like they have a disorder or mental issue ! And since learning in depth about my type I’ve actually gotten rid of a lot of anxiety and learned some great tools . Beatrice chestnut is also a great option to learn about urself.

    • @ElleW-wv5rw
      @ElleW-wv5rw 5 лет назад

      Me too

    • @FunGirl013
      @FunGirl013 5 лет назад

      That feeling... 1000%!!!
      It’s like a quicksand situation, where it’s not too bad at first, but the longer you’re in that state the harder it is to break out of it. It’s seems fine, then kinda not fine, and then suddenly you’re in so deep that you feel like you can’t get out. And, also like quicksand, the struggling can make it worse...
      I now try to enter social situations with at least one or two topics or conversation starters in mind that i can “grab on to” if i feel stuck like this... something that is relevant to my life, and positive, and could also be relevant to other people in the given social event. (ex: “hey, did anyone make New Years resolutions? ... but only if I made one, because otherwise i would have nothing to add and the convo stalls out.) Or i’ll ask someone (beforehand) to ask me about a specific project I’ve been working on, or something interesting that i know about, if they notice me struggling to join in.
      And... remembering that no matter how harshly people might judge sometimes, it’s far more likely they are more worried about themselves.
      Breathing. Looking around.
      None of these work 100% of the time, but they do help crack that vacuum of silence open, a little bit.

  • @brianhueber3683
    @brianhueber3683 3 года назад +205

    I’m a diagnosed male and I totally know where Charl is coming from. From the masking to the self-doubt and the aftermath of social interactions. My fear of not knowing what people think of me is at times crippling. I also identify with going over social interactions in your had. Things like ‘Maybe I should have said this’ or ‘I hope I didn’t do or say anything offensive’ can go through my head weeks after interactions. Growing up I just wanted be part of the group. When you are young and not good at masking, you come across even weirder. Thank you for this video.

    • @enfieldjohn101
      @enfieldjohn101 2 года назад +4

      I know what you mean. It's hard to explain social anxiety to people who don't have it. One way I've found that more people can relate to is comparing it to going to a job interview. Most people are nervous, apprehensive, trying so hard to act and talk right in an interview, aren't they? When I find common ground with people about interviews, I then tell them something like "Now, imagine that every social interaction you had was just like that" Then, they sometimes have a bit of compassion for me.

    • @amandarockhold8390
      @amandarockhold8390 2 года назад

      lmao i thought u meant you were diagnosed as a man 💀💀

    • @pamelapamper
      @pamelapamper 2 года назад +3

      "I'm a diagnosed male" jeez dude being a man is not a disease

    • @fibrahim4fi
      @fibrahim4fi 2 года назад +2

      @@pamelapamper loool

    • @rachelk4805
      @rachelk4805 2 года назад +2

      I think this is very common, for everyone. We all want to fit in. It's ok, some people will get you and some people will not, and that is ok.

  • @stacy1981
    @stacy1981 Год назад +11

    It’s funny but so accurate when she uses the words “how useless I am” referring to her friendships and social situations. I try extra hard to be there for my friends and it’s hardly ever reciprocated. In fact, I feel like the harder I try to mask what feels like a more comfortable laid-back approach, one in which I fear I am not as useful as a friend, where I could be perceived as not caring, I fear I could fall out of grace with them and be even more useless in these relationships I try so hard in. Being social is the hardest thing in my life, because I get so excited when I make a friend, and so sad when they turn out to not be there for me in the end.

  • @wiswc
    @wiswc 5 лет назад +293

    Personally I just get hurt easily I take everything to the heart and allows it to affect me that's why I am afraid of people.

    • @mariatrinks3615
      @mariatrinks3615 5 лет назад +3

      Maybe you are a highly sensitive person, have you read about that?

    • @wiswc
      @wiswc 5 лет назад +7

      @@mariatrinks3615 I have actually and yeah I might be one.

    • @samallen1000ify
      @samallen1000ify 5 лет назад +6

      I cringe when I do small talk "isn't it cold out today".

    • @TheGitarrlillan
      @TheGitarrlillan 5 лет назад +5

      @@wiswc I do that to, but also have problems reading body language and understanding. Are people angry at me, are they dissapointed or did I make them sad. Most of the time it is neither but I can't help looking for it and trying to find any trace of it. I can even start crying from seing someone else near me being sad and cry, which other people have a hard time understanding. But seing someone cry just makes me hurt so much inside that I soon can't resist crying to.

    • @krisztinajuhasz4537
      @krisztinajuhasz4537 5 лет назад

      it can be borderline dysorder

  • @gina333
    @gina333 5 лет назад +264

    I’m really struggling to figure out if I could be on the spectrum or if I just have a severe social phobia. 😔 it’s become really really difficult for me

    • @TheSplashchannel1
      @TheSplashchannel1 5 лет назад +7

      Same here!

    • @Thelittleclipstore
      @Thelittleclipstore 5 лет назад +13

      That’s me too and most if not all of the myer briggs types similr to me that im a intp type 5 enneagram and some other types like introverts and that’s a very big percentage do u really think such a big part of world is born with a disorder ? Something just makes no sense .in my family we are six and 4 out of the six act this way... You can read about behavior types on website personality hacker or see their videos on utube . Any personality type that’s unhealthy or not matured yet will Look like they have a disorder or mental issue ! And since learning in depth about my type I’ve actually gotten rid of a lot of anxiety and learned some great tools . Beatrice chestnut is also a great option to learn about urself

    • @creativesparks2164
      @creativesparks2164 5 лет назад +19

      For me is the social anxiety + anger + hard paying attention + brain always running being hard to pay attention to things I’m not interested in+ hard making eye contact + more
      U probably just have social anxiety if that’s the only thing u experience

    • @oxin1099
      @oxin1099 4 года назад

      check out Antony Padillas video about agoraphobia

  • @brittanybearg7559
    @brittanybearg7559 5 лет назад +106

    I’ve always known something was socially ‘off’ about me. I’ve never been able to socialize for an extended period of time without repercussions. If I socialize too long; I will legit go home and just have a breakdown. Bawl my eyes out for hours. And I never know why I’m crying. Which makes me cry even more. Then I feel like I’m being dramatic. Anyone else have this issue?

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  5 лет назад +1

      Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @houseofbows
      @houseofbows 5 лет назад +9

      I do that i dont think im autistic i think im an introvert. People drain me. I either get into a fuss with someone or feel stupid or ignored and hates after being around people.

    • @eniren5181
      @eniren5181 5 лет назад +1

      🙋🏻‍♀️Same here!

    • @mathieusucks607
      @mathieusucks607 5 лет назад +8

      i need to literally prepare for socializing so i know what you mean. after socializing, i go home and cannot bring myself to speak to anyone outside the people living in my house that i MUST speak to. like replying to messages and such, i cannot. i tend to isolate myself and/or feel overwhelmed, but i find it hard to express it in ways like crying and such so i just sleep haha.

    • @classicnobody9872
      @classicnobody9872 5 лет назад +3

      I have a problem simular too , if I'm uncomfortable around people , I will come out of the social situation either angry , embarrassed or I could have a meltdown . I get judged for going to the bathroom alot :/ My Age group are hard for me to trust

  • @robindabreu34
    @robindabreu34 2 года назад +29

    I am diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and social anxiety among others and I can relate to all of these.

  • @MirandaGibson1220
    @MirandaGibson1220 6 лет назад +30

    I've always thought I had crippling social anxiety but the more and more I learn about autism I truly believe it's years of masking and not having the energy to continue that in a social setting.

  • @meghanworkman6449
    @meghanworkman6449 5 лет назад +337

    I got licensed as a nail tech because I was fascinated by fingernails, nail care, the actual polishing and art, etc. Then I rented a room from a salon and realized the HELL of actually having to talk to people while I did their nails. It was unbelievably exhausting. I realized I'd kind of screwed myself by going into a field where most people actually want to jabber away about nothing. If I could've just sat there in silence and just worked on their nails, that would've been okay. So now I don't do nails anymore, but I feel guilty about the time and money I spent getting certified that could've gone towards something else.

    • @sharonsharon9540
      @sharonsharon9540 5 лет назад +59

      NoThing Sacred maybe u could be a mobile nail tech I would pay good money for someon to do my nails in silence 💕

    • @loriboufford6342
      @loriboufford6342 5 лет назад +27

      Don't ever stop doing what you enjoy bc of others opinion of what they believe what you SHOULD be.
      I did too many times in my life and than later in life found people who were very successful bc they did what I was told was wrong.
      Follow your heart, life will fill in.
      Bless you.

    • @meghanworkman6449
      @meghanworkman6449 5 лет назад +14

      @@loriboufford6342 thanks for the advice - you are so right and I do appreciate it. I ultimately ended up closing my business because I just wasn't making enough money to keep the doors open. I'm in the process of moving on to another interest/career that I feel will better suit my personality and allow my husband and I to travel more. That was one big negative about being a nail tech that always wore at the back of my mind...my husband is hopefully less than 10 years away from retirement and we want to travel as much as we can, but that's hard to do when your business is located in one place. All the best to you!

    • @KLukasiak
      @KLukasiak 5 лет назад +5

      I'm in a kinda similar situation. I'm not on the spectrum (that I know of) but I love teaching kids. But talking to adults is agonising to me

    • @katieann9026
      @katieann9026 5 лет назад +28

      As an autistic who occasionally gets their nails done, I'd be your favorite client. I rarely speak to my mani/pedicurists unless they ask me stuff. Maybe you should open a salon that advertises itself as autism friendly both for staff and clientele. Rules: no small talk, no loud noises, good lighting, attempt to minimize the smells even tho they're pretty strong (I like it personally).

  • @charissconsul
    @charissconsul 2 года назад +172

    Can I just say that girls who are masking are geniuses and soooo strong? I know how hard it is to literally mask everyday (consciously and subconsciously) just to try and survive. I wish females won’t have to sturuggle getting a diagnosis anymore. Let’s be strong girls! We’ve got each other 💗 Thank you for making this video, we appreciate you for openly discussing female autism. You are helping sooo many women!

    • @MsLoila
      @MsLoila 2 года назад +8

      Yes, so true. It's incredibly exhausting. Wish we'd have more insight on the Autism on the mainstream and it well reveals the social pressure on girls in general.

    • @bernlin2000
      @bernlin2000 Год назад +1

      It's even more beautiful when people on the spectrum realize they don't have to mask, and society made you put that one because they don't know any different (or better, imo).

    • @ynpavo
      @ynpavo Год назад

      Wow you really managed to make this about gender. Might wanna rethink your weird segregating thinking, it comes off as not particularily intelligent.

    • @AZ-kr6ff
      @AZ-kr6ff Год назад

      @@bernlin2000
      No. You do it for yourself. It's a coping mechanism. Nobody can make you mask, and they likely don't even know you are doing it.
      Take 100% responsibility for yourself, only then will you learn who you really are, and will no longer feel the need to mask.

  • @cathrynelam2656
    @cathrynelam2656 2 года назад +20

    Selective mutism is so frustrating!!!! With one on one conversations I do great! I don’t feel too overwhelmed (usually) or like I have to mask so much. But in large groups ESPECIALLY FAMILY gatherings it all falls apart 😢. There’s too much info, to many traits being thrown at me, too much to juggle and I end up being labeled as “judgmental” “stuck up” or “haute” because I can’t talk or properly socialize. 😢

  • @Abbiekakez
    @Abbiekakez 4 года назад +58

    I think I’ve always had autism and it’s gone undiagnosed. Ive always been shy, quiet, & “very observant”. I’ve always always been really quiet during group conversations particularly and I give my self a reward in my head whenever I actually contribute to the conversation lol. I relate to all of the points made. Especially about your script running out. I’ve always DREADED picking up the phone and making calls. I’m trying so so hard to try and get better at it. Especially since I will be a nurse soon and HAVE to get over this. Pray for me hahah

  • @reverentconsciousness8767
    @reverentconsciousness8767 5 лет назад +104

    I can relate to absolutely to everything she says... right down to going home after, and way over thinking about what I said and how...
    I won't remember your name, when I meet you, but I will remember the conversations. I than go home and replay in my head... basically to learn from

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  5 лет назад +1

      Yes!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @shyfish
      @shyfish 5 лет назад

      Me also, what I could've said, what I shouldn't have etc. keeps me up at night.

  • @nwingatechi
    @nwingatechi 3 года назад +54

    I have a hard time talking about myself. I can talk about things I have an interest, but specifically talking about me. When I’m asked about my day, week, month, year; unless I know something extremely interesting I don’t see the point of mentioning it. It makes conversations very one sided, and I end up listening more than talking.

  • @lucynabowen6419
    @lucynabowen6419 Год назад +8

    I took my daughter out of school the day she got her Aspie diagnosis and had her home schooled. She went from a depressed uncommunicative self harmer, to a blossoming young girl, it was priceless.
    The money we got for her 'disability' went onto a home school teacher who taught her at her level and she just thrived and opened up again. It is vital I think to get them out of school, if you can, and be educated at home.
    She went onto college...didn't finish, but at 23 has not been without work. There is hope .
    Thank you guys for making this more known in your video for others to relate and parents to understand what going on inside of them, so we don't blame or push them for their inability to mix as you 'expect' them to.

    • @myrarobinson7186
      @myrarobinson7186 Год назад

      Hi Lucyna, Thank you for sharing your daughter’s experience. This is our exact life now. I took my daughter out of public school after the “Covid lockdown” because she was doing so much better in her studies at home. We are in the process of getting her diagnosed with Autism. May I ask what you mean by getting “paid for her disability”? I am homeschooling her, but I would love to be able to afford some help. I’m not sure that I am doing a good enough job on my own. I would like her to have the best education I can give her…. If you have time to reply, I would So appreciate that! 🤗 -Myra.

  • @susanvanheel4382
    @susanvanheel4382 3 года назад +199

    I’m 66, just discovered I’m autistic and have been since childhood. I was friendless through all of grade school, sat alone at recess, waiting it to end, bullied for being quiet, and depressed most of the time. Ended up with an eating disorder that has lasted 40+ years. I consider myself to be smarter than many my age, but continue to mask who I am, and can’t find lasting friendship. What a sad life, and I may only have 20 years left to live.

    • @countrygal2449
      @countrygal2449 2 года назад +3

      Sorry :(

    • @SceneKitteh
      @SceneKitteh 2 года назад +30

      @@weaverdreams "set an exit date"????

    • @sunnybein1
      @sunnybein1 2 года назад +1

      Susan Van Heel..have you tried Online socialising with your own tribe? I'm certain you'll find acceptance and friends.Try joining some Autistic adult groups.

    • @crownedbylove
      @crownedbylove 2 года назад +16

      Hugs 🫂. Sending prayer, you’re loved more than you know 🤍

    • @JaneDoe-bc8hx
      @JaneDoe-bc8hx 2 года назад +17

      I’m 58 and have Asperger’s. These young people don’t know how lucky they are.

  • @loner844
    @loner844 6 лет назад +74

    so I'm an autistic female, and I completely relate to this list. in regards to being afraid to socialization, I find if I don't know or trust the people I'm forced to be social with, I have enormous difficulty talking to them. In part, it's not having a script, but it's also the fear of being rejected just as horribly as I was in school (I was bullied in school, so I tend to fall into the habit of expecting rejection no matter what, and you can't deal with it anymore). Which of course leads to isolation, which you mentioned. And that's a really hard wall to break down, routine to break, etc.

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  6 лет назад

      ✌🏼 thank you for the input! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @katharina8328
      @katharina8328 5 лет назад

      What has helped me a lot is 1. meditation 2. yoga and 3. an energy therapy (called Pantarei, but there are many good methods!).. In the first session she literally took away all the walls I had created around me. I didn't have to break any routines any more, because the energetic patterns were removed and the changes I had wanted for so long just happened.. I can highly recommend it. It was really miraculous. I wish you all the best!

  • @DiariesofaDisabledmom
    @DiariesofaDisabledmom 6 лет назад +137

    I didn't know that it was called masking until recently but sometimes its exhausting to act like ur not you. In groups and stuff I shut down but idk about selective mutism lol

    • @teamcynda6202
      @teamcynda6202 6 лет назад +8

      I thought that everyone did this. Thats so weird. I'm just over here because I find mentle illness incredibly fascinating, and when I find something facinating I want to know everything about it. So right now I'm totally blown away, everybody doesnt do these things? Here i thought everyone did the weird stuff I do. Well learn something new everyday

    • @halien6384
      @halien6384 6 лет назад +3

      i totally relate to the shutting down thing. it’ll come with no warning too. i’ll immediately become irritable, tired and annoyed and i feel like i just want to go home and be by myself for a while. i thought it was just an introverted thing, but it’s very intense so it’s definitely more than that

    • @amorky8391
      @amorky8391 5 лет назад +1

      I have done this masking thing forever. For the longest time I just wondered if maybe I was a sociopath but this gives me a better insight. Maybe I'm just on the spectrum. Don't know if I'll pursue a diagnosis but I'm definitely going to research some more on this. The masking is both exhausting and built in at this point. I don't know how to be my real 'self' because I don't feel like I have one. I just learned to be versions of a person for all the different groups I know

    • @lolli_
      @lolli_ 5 лет назад

      @@teamcynda6202 I thought everyone did this too

  • @Chase3163
    @Chase3163 2 года назад +25

    I was diagnosed at 28 and I was so horrible at masking that I was bullied horribly in school and now I have serious agoraphobia. It was actually during a therapy session for depression and PTSD that my therapist recognised my symptoms because she worked with autistic children and she really pushed for me to be assessed.

    • @aliciaspears7847
      @aliciaspears7847 Год назад +3

      Please don't give up ! I have been where you are. Didn't leave my house for almost 2 full years and it was incredibly difficult to finally try. Unable to sleep the night before i knew i was going to leave. Panic attacks, etc.... but you know what ? Eventually I was able to do it. Even if I was scared & cried. Even if i only left for 5 minutes. It sucked so effing bad. But i kept doing it.
      Then - no more panic attacks. Stuck with it & after a while, I would mostly just freak out inside my head for a few minutes prior to leaving. Because i had built upon all of my recent experiences of leaving and NOTHING BAD HAPPENING. i began to be proud of my little victories.
      And a bit after that I was able to leave without much more than a small pep talk to myself.
      Sometimes I still struggle a little. Especially if I'm going to a place I've never been before or I'm seeing people I've never met. That's still tough at times but I have also had some wonderful experiences just because I didn't let myself back out. In the end, it was always worth going. Even if it was just to remind myself that I don't want to get stuck in that bad place ever again. I don't want to let the fear win
      I know I can't cure autism. Not for me, not for you. but I can tell you that it gets better. It absolutely gets easier if you keep going out.I know you're scared, but do it anyway.
      Remember these things: (1) FEAR IS A LIAR ! (2) the first step is hardest of all and (3)if you're going thru hell, keep on going. Face that fire.
      Good luck ! I wish you well !
      PS may I suggest you pick a theme song ? Most people are into music. Choose something with lyrics that inspire you. Words you need to hear. Repeat to yourself as often as necessary. It helps.

  • @annehislop2449
    @annehislop2449 4 года назад +20

    Fear of being misunderstood, mis-judged, rejected, attacked; all rational fears based on personal experience and no understanding or support leads to paralysis.

  • @BuzziRus
    @BuzziRus 4 года назад +131

    I struggle to talk to people unless I know them well. If I am intimidated I clam up I cannot chat naturally, I second guess everything I'm going to say before I say it and I don't dare voice when I disagree. I relate to going round and round analysing a social situation once it's done. In fact I tend to want to eat something afterwards as a way of calming myself down..... 😔

    • @nattyjay5257
      @nattyjay5257 2 года назад +1

      So relatable

    • @desireeandrews6710
      @desireeandrews6710 2 года назад

      I end up telling people anything mostly private stuff when I meet new people. Needless to say that makes them run.

  • @alexandrag3213
    @alexandrag3213 5 лет назад +51

    I've always felt different and I never knew why but lately I've been doing research on autism in women and I feel like I understand myself more than ever before...Thank you for uploading this video, it really helps.

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  5 лет назад +2

      Hey that’s amazing I am so glad I could help :)! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

  • @AMadd3RHatt3R
    @AMadd3RHatt3R 2 года назад +1

    Omggg!! Yesss!! I have always felt like being in social situations I feel like the big sore finger in the group. Like I stick out so badly... even like the energy changes just because I am there. Individually I can be friends with ALL of them, but in a group, forget it.

  • @mariebo7491
    @mariebo7491 6 лет назад +303

    I would mimic characters in movies growing up. Now I tend to channel one of my extroverted friends who I really admire when I’m in a pinch. 😆

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  6 лет назад +3

      Oh hey thanks for sharing! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @mariebo7491
      @mariebo7491 6 лет назад

      The Aspie World I do! I love your videos, Dan! Keep it up! 🙌🏻😊

    • @MrsBJPalmer
      @MrsBJPalmer 6 лет назад +5

      Wow! That's exactly what my daughter has been doing since a toddler. Shes 20 now, and it's all about Captain Marvel & Star Wars. She was Rey or Ahsoka from SW until they started talking about making the Captain Marvel movie. (She loves the MCU too.)

    • @Aura000
      @Aura000 6 лет назад +3

      Griselle Zapata haha i mimicked movie characters too

    • @charldavies
      @charldavies 6 лет назад +6

      I literally have ace ventura floating around in my head all day with his phrases and I'm constantly acting out his character. I actually feel like he's a part of me. 💖💖

  • @SquishersTheSquasher
    @SquishersTheSquasher 4 года назад +120

    I feel that only wanted to talk about my interests. I’ve been called out from ppl sayin I’m “self centered” or “always makin the convo about myself” and I’m so hyper aware of it now I try to not seem tht way it just gives me so much anxiety and I always end up apologizing for talking about the things I like

    • @kathybrem880
      @kathybrem880 4 года назад +11

      I get it-but it’s hard to talk about things you have no interest in

    • @terriem3922
      @terriem3922 3 года назад +23

      I get accused of trying to change the subject to myself, but actually I am trying to convey that I am understanding what they are saying because I had a similar experience.

    • @sleepygirl5711
      @sleepygirl5711 3 года назад

      I have this too :( exactly the same.

    • @neptun6761
      @neptun6761 2 года назад +1

      @@terriem3922 dude i really feel you
      I sometimes feel how some people get annoyed exactly because of this

    • @Screeno1993
      @Screeno1993 2 года назад +4

      I've even stopped doing the things I'm interested in because I felt bad for being interested in them..

  • @ellegrrace
    @ellegrrace 5 лет назад +161

    I have heard that many people on the autism spectrum are actually very very intelligent and tend to be indigos whether that’s proven by emotional intelligence or academic, musical intelligence. They just see the world for what it is. We are scared to be individual and that’s much like many people out there. Authenticity is rare and I don’t have many friends (not because nobody likes me) but because I just don’t put myself out there.

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  5 лет назад +5

      Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @jasonhanson6145
      @jasonhanson6145 5 лет назад +2

      Respect Elizabeth, you are not alone my dear! Believe in what you feel in the deepest my friend!! One more day bud!! ;)

    • @ellegrrace
      @ellegrrace 5 лет назад

      The Aspie World Sorry just seen this! Just have!

    • @ellegrrace
      @ellegrrace 5 лет назад

      Yeah I must admit about the obsession. I’m obsessed with The Avatar series and a Legend Of Korra! I have been obsessed with it for weeks and weeks

    • @ellegrrace
      @ellegrrace 5 лет назад

      Jason Hanson thank you!

  • @christeenasnyder
    @christeenasnyder Год назад +30

    My psychiatrist won't get me evaluated because they don't believe that I'm on the spectrum. I'm currently crying because i go through all these social issues. Pray for me, please.

    • @FRANKBLACK2
      @FRANKBLACK2 Год назад +5

      It's a misnoma to think that people not on the spectrum don't experience these things! I am definitely not autistic but experience 5/5 of these issues. Your therapist likely has a better view on this than you do, if you get hung up on the idea that you're autistic when you're not you'll waste your life waiting for someone to confirm that you're psychologically "different" when in reality everyone is different and the trick to life is being at peace with that.

    • @EJtoU
      @EJtoU Год назад

      I think this comment deserves a different response tbh… your experience is valid, and your psychologist has different information and perspective. So do other licensed therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists who all specialize in different things. I hope you self-love by pursuing whatever support you need, including correct diagnosis if that helps improve your life. I wish you luck and patience ☺️

  • @hilaryh1n
    @hilaryh1n 5 лет назад +125

    What Is interesting is I am almost 30 and just started realizing I could be on the spectrum. Thank you for saying this.

    • @Kkatss
      @Kkatss 5 лет назад +2

      Same

    • @alexxx750
      @alexxx750 4 года назад +4

      Look back at your upbringing first. A lot of these are also symptoms of cpstd..

    • @hilaryh1n
      @hilaryh1n 4 года назад +2

      @@alexxx750 Honestly, I think most of it does come from ptsd growing up. You are right on that, thank you! Things I am working on with my therapist.

    • @littledabwilldoya9717
      @littledabwilldoya9717 4 года назад +1

      My 30 yr old daughter was doing fairly well until she lost her job 4 months ago. Now symptoms have been amplified due to more social isolation and NO. JOB!😞 Did get her to be tested, thinking that would help with her job search, due to the ADA, but can’t get her to agree to therapy. How did you make the decision? I want to HELP HER, and I’m running out of ideas, and she’s running out of unemployment and has a mortgage and car payment due every month, plus other essentials!😢😳🥰

    • @hilaryh1n
      @hilaryh1n 4 года назад +3

      @@littledabwilldoya9717 I have childhood trauma that has caused my severe anxiety and fear of judgement and I just couldn't tolerate this with myself anymore. Trauma can look different for every person too but wanting better for myself is what helped me. You could offer her to help call therapists to make an appointment since, to me, that was the hardest step! Tell her she can get through this but ultimately it has to be her desire to get help and want to be better. She can do this!!

  • @IamMissPronounced
    @IamMissPronounced 6 лет назад +63

    I've had social anxiety for years now and for some reason, my doctors can't see past the social anxiety, which makes them hesitant to diagnose me with autism. I was sent to a specialist's clinic because I've gotten really good at masking my symptoms. Love hearing from more females with autism!

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  6 лет назад +2

      Yes this is so common, it is difficult for females to successfully get a diagnosis. Stick at it!! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @elintiriel
      @elintiriel 6 лет назад +6

      I was also diagnosed with social anxiety only at first and was seeing a therapist for that for about a year! Only when I had to change therapists did my new one suspect there was something else at play than social anxiety.
      She specialized in treating kids and adolescents with social anxiety and told me that my behaviour in public did not quite match with the symptoms she expected to see .
      (which in hindsight makes sense, because she took me out into a clothing store and instructed me to chat with an employee and ask them for advice. It was stressful and exhausting and uncomfortable, but through my experience at masking I think I did very well. Actually, I used one of my favourite tricks for social interaction, which is pretending I am a character in a book or show and have a script to adhere to, so I cannot say anything wrong.)
      Funnily enough, we both came to the conclusion that I could be on the spectrum independently from one another and after contacting a clinic specialized in autism diagnoses, I got mine last December. You just have to be patient and honest and I'm sure everything will turn out fine for you!

    • @hawk_202
      @hawk_202 6 лет назад +7

      Once "diagnosed" it will always be hard for people to see past that, whether its a medical diagnosis or a mental one, that bias will always be there and they will always be trying to confirm what they already know and support it.
      Theres an experiment where sane people check themselves into a mental hospital claiming to be having a break from reality, then later asking to leave saying they are feeling better........
      And you can guess they had a hell of a hard time convincing people they were actually "better" and this wasnt just a symptom of their crazyness.

    • @madisongrace4851
      @madisongrace4851 6 лет назад +1

      Hi I relate so much to these posts. Did you guys learn any words of wisdom for the social anxiety?

    • @Marciusha
      @Marciusha 6 лет назад +3

      But social anxiety, fobia, traumas and anxiety, depression, introverted lead to the same symptoms they made in the video. I have everything they said but i am not autistic (i guess and hope). The inly difference is that i can so so well read people's emotions(emphatic) that i never want to see them because I don't know how to react when they feel nervous or bad or say smth and expect me to behave and speak in a certain way and you feel uncomfortable and not want to speak but you make a face like you are really interested and you bring up topics you are not interested. You feel so drained after them. Close friends and family may be an exception but not always. this is also how social fobia works.

  • @ashleythomas5052
    @ashleythomas5052 6 лет назад +60

    I have aspergers and I experience the selective mutism trait so often, even with my friend group I suddenly can’t talk and it’s so frustrating because I want to talk and join in and not feel left out but I physically can’t talk to save my life

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  6 лет назад

      Yup!! Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @Bourbubs
      @Bourbubs 6 лет назад

      Literally me too. It's so hard sometimes 😑

    • @felicityjohnston9276
      @felicityjohnston9276 5 лет назад

      I feel your struggle. I was diagnosed at 15 with PDD and didn't understand why sometimes I physically could not speak. It didn't begin til my early 20s but holy hell. At the time I was living with my grandparents and i swear to god i wanted to say something to my grandmother one time and found no words came out. I stood in silence staring at her trying to force the words out. Nothing. So i went and got paper and a pen and wrote down what i had to say, I would have left her be but i was very upset and needed her and felt I would feel so much worse if i didnt say something to someone, then I handed it to her. She took it and without even glancing at the paper coldly yelled " no! I will not read this note! I KNOW you can speak so SAY IT!"
      I was mortified. I couldn't say anything so i took the paper from her turned and left her room silently. Went back to my room and ended up feeling so much worse. I wanted to speak, even if only to stop her anger. But it was useless. I didnt go and try to speak about things anymore to anyone after that incident.
      I already hate feeling like a burden and her rejecting the note like that made it sink on deeper. Now im a guarded adult scared one day i won't be able to speak all over again.
      Sorry for my long comment....
      You aren't alone 💜

    • @felicityjohnston9276
      @felicityjohnston9276 5 лет назад

      @Sugar Mahatma thank you. And i appreciate the suggestion but unfortunately that doesn't help me. I've tried different things to help with those sorts of feelings but i cant do them. Maybe my mind is too literal? As if my mind says whats the use to do such and such if it will not help the outcome I need fixed? Growing up the only sort of thing that ever helped was writing down what i needed to say or coloring.

    • @ashleythomas5052
      @ashleythomas5052 5 лет назад

      Felicity Johnston I’m so sorry you had to feel that way. I don’t know you but if you need someone to relate to I’m here! I was diagnosed with PDD when I was 7 because apparently that’s possible?? Lol but anyways I know how hard it is to deal with it. You’re not a burden, your brain just works a little bit differently than other people’s and that’s okay! It adds some struggles that other people don’t face but you get through them and that’s amazing. You’re not alone💜💜

  • @mondstadtvlogs
    @mondstadtvlogs 2 года назад +8

    sitting here crying at midnight cause i relate to every single one of these points on the dot. i've been questioning myself a lot lately if i might be on the spectrum and the more i watch and research, the more everything starts to make sense. it's so reassuring to know why i am the way i am and that there many others out there just like me. thank you for this video

    • @Elizacliff77
      @Elizacliff77 2 года назад +1

      Same why didn't I get the right help when I was a kid im 37 married now to my husband an now my husband calls me a narcissist??what is wrong with me am I stupid?I judge myself daily like I can't stop being friends with any girls its hard to understand anyone them u know?like ughh

  • @danarilysangelin7462
    @danarilysangelin7462 6 лет назад +82

    I’ve always thought selective mutism to be a “brain fart” or “drawing a blank” but the feeling that comes along with it, is intense. When the pressure is on, it almost feels like you just walked into a glass door because you’re caught off guard and suddenly feel like you’re trapped inside your chest. Can anybody relate?

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  6 лет назад +1

      Thank you so much for the comment! Please subscribe to my channel to see more videos from me :).

    • @missbliss3089
      @missbliss3089 5 лет назад +3

      Selective Mutism feels exactly like when someone asks if your pregnant and you get so over answering it you actually lie and say that your a surrogate

    • @evanurena8868
      @evanurena8868 5 лет назад +2

      I know I can relate. Especially when it's something serious or a related task that is intense with personal criticism or multiple steps. The more serious or critical something is involving change or improvement, the stronger the anxiety, inertia, and mutism becomes for me. Even when I am intrinsically motivated to do something to improve, take note of the criticism, and can comprehend the responsibility, I still encounter gradual periods of brain fart or blankness where i'm just lost in some kind of endless fog or mist. You would think one would be motivated to shift one's gears away from laziness or procrastination by getting things done on auto pilot but it still beats me. You can't help but take ownership and internally blame yourself because you know you have the capability to improve but that misty fog of muted uncertainty still remains.

    • @kathy2888
      @kathy2888 4 года назад

      I’m like this, but isn’t this a lot of people?

  • @freiajannerbo8888
    @freiajannerbo8888 5 лет назад +145

    Omg, I just realized that I also use like a script when speaking to people!!

    • @iprobablyforgotsomething
      @iprobablyforgotsomething 5 лет назад +21

      I "rehearse" responses to common questions and what I think I'll be asked in upcoming work reviews/family members' "friendly" interrogations on my personal life.

    • @KLukasiak
      @KLukasiak 5 лет назад +1

      me too

    • @auroraborealis6398
      @auroraborealis6398 5 лет назад +5

      I think everyone has a script for small talk. it's just that most people won't realize that they are doing this

    • @bjarnestronstrup9122
      @bjarnestronstrup9122 5 лет назад +2

      All people have it, I have full blown conversations with other people in my head (and no I am not psychotic).

    • @Elligons
      @Elligons 5 лет назад +1

      "The script" is exhausting in an office environment I must say. The people there are so emotionally deprived they want their teammates to hear them vent and cater to their emotions. So yeah, I use a script. But at my last job the staff was mostly women, and they would always stop me from going back to my desk to gab about something, and I'd have to pretend to care. I quit, and I felt so much relief!

  • @joyyumi6662
    @joyyumi6662 5 лет назад +71

    My therapist tells me, "You can't be autistic" because I'm "too social". I am sharing this video, thank you for posting.

    • @TheAspieWorld
      @TheAspieWorld  5 лет назад +19

      That is a load of crap. I hope you manage to get the support you need :).

    • @hahna77
      @hahna77 5 лет назад +11

      My daughter is very outgoing, class president, head of loads of clubs and always out with friends(more boys than girls though) & was recently diagnosed with ASD.

    • @Corso123870
      @Corso123870 5 лет назад +7

      My daughter has Asperger's, I suspected she did as I have a brother with Asperger's but the doctors kept sayong she's too social to be Autistic. She finally got diagnosed after 5 years and lots of counseling and testing. She's extremely social, like never met a stranger, she's everyone's friend. And while yes she is super social she's also socially awkward. So just because she will talk to every and any body, especially about her obsessions at the time, it doesn't mean she is socializing properly. She doesn't pick up on social cues like tone of voice, facial and body language or if someone is disinterested in what she's obsessively talking about.

    • @tinabastarache2674
      @tinabastarache2674 5 лет назад +3

      @@Corso123870 i can somewhat pick up on tone of voice. if someone using a mocking tone which is bullying as i was always slower in things as child i was bullied. used to think asperger's was oh lack empathy which isn't true lack way of what to say to someone how it will would sound to other person. like mean well. when any of close friends who are like family are crying telling me what happen to them i will cry along with them lend shoulder and works with other way too. it's hard when get focused on certain interests.sometimes myself i be waiting for silence so i can something but then go speak and either no one hears or just starts talking then when i am left say my piece i am changing the subject.my life is so different from most others it is so scary and stressful trying to sound my age.

    • @nightbot9159
      @nightbot9159 5 лет назад

      Same here, cant get a test.