@@xeniamundi7514 Autistic brains can do things nonautistic people are incapable of, so that must mean you're illiterate as well. Just because someone can't read by an age you expect doesn't mean they'll never be able to read. Humanity is not artificial, nature never said "mankind, when you reach year 2 of human development you must be able to speak." Why can't any of you ableists comprehend "diversity in neurological development" = "diversity in human development"?
I’m an autistic woman in America. I went to Japan recently and everything was quiet and clean and not lit with bright lights. Nobody made me small talk, and I wasn’t bothered by employees or servers. I actually enjoyed being in public there. I can back home and everything sucked again
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
Having a daughter who has autism has been challenging because although I want her to be herself, I also need to teach her how to function in society. I do worry about her future and how her peers will treat her, so I do want to prepare her for society. Seeing these comments about parents not being the best to them is tough because I don’t want my daughter resenting me for just wanting to prepare her. I am on the spectrum as well btw..
I think a compromise between the neurodivergent and neurotypical is realistic. It’s not healthy to expect everyone else to change to my way of life. Each aspect can be negotiated. An anecdote of a small change that made a big difference is when my sister saw me tuck my legs up under my T-shirt to stay warm in a cold restaurant. She didn’t force me to conform, but reasoned with me that I was too old, 10 years old, to do that. “Look around, do you see any other people over the age of 5 doing that? I accept you either way, but it looks odd enough that you should bring sweats or something instead.” I might still be doing that at my age if she hadn’t pointed that out. I think we should encourage people to understand why a little compromise can go a long way, instead of demanding everyone else change. Taken to the extreme, it is borderline enabling dysfunction.
@@tastedeez8Teaching her to "function in society" is still maybe not the right framing if you ask me, though it does depend more how you go about it. That idea though is generally what leads autistic people down a path of masking their autism instead of encouraging them to further develop the ways their autism may help them succeed, within a society that tends not to respect their differences. Rather than thinking, I need to teach them to fit society, a suggestion I'd have is teaching them the ways that society might make things difficult for them, and help them develop strategies to meet and overcome those challenges as they show up. Preparation like you alluded to. Work on empowerment versus trying to integrate into a system or ideas that simply will not work for them. I apologize in advance if my response is based on a misunderstanding of your comment and what it means for your thought process! But I don't mean this to be accusatory
@@realtalk4994 thank you for not being accusatory. I definitely agree with what you’re saying and I think that’s a good way to put it. For the most part, I do take your approach but there are some things where I feel like intervening is appropriate, not necessarily for “fitting in” but more so for her own safety. Growing up with autism myself, I feel like I can give her good advice if she’s willing to receive. Parenting is just hard..
I’m raising my 11 yr old granddaughter who has minimally verbal autism. Watching her struggle to be ok in a neurotypical world is heartbreaking. She’s the hardest working person I know. Did you know a minimally verbal person can have a sense of humor? Before Rory, I would have scoffed at this idea. She’s my hero and my biggest blessing. I’m a veterinarian. Rory works harder in one day than I did in 8 years of college. The most important things to do when interacting with autistic people are: BE KIND and GIVE THEM A BREAK! If they need to wear earplugs, sunglasses, bandaids, slippers, a goofy headband (ie: pinwheels on springs), a weird outfit and have an iPad in order to survive the grocery store, LET THEM! Showing my granddaughter how much I love her NO MATTER WHAT is my most important job.
You make me miss my grandmother, she and her sister seemed to be the only family members who understood me and my odd needs and interests back when an autism diagnosis was extremely rare in the 1950's and 1960's. Her sister suggested alpine skiing - I am still at it as a way to just be. My grandmother got me interested in gardening, for me it is just so relaxing. Have fun and give her loads of love❤❤❤
“I wasn’t a failed neurotypical person. I was a perfectly good autistic person.” This made me burst into tears. Thank you Dr. Houting. I struggle with this every day 😢
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I’m someone with high functioning autism who has spent my entire life learning to mask as well as possible, no matter how much stress and exhaustion it causes me. Last week I saw someone on the train who was also on the spectrum. He was making noises of excitement and clapping, autistic behaviours I myself suppress the urge act upon. People were giving him strange looks, but he didn’t care, he was just happy. Seeing him so happy and just being himself brought me so much joy and comfort knowing he doesn’t have the stress of trying to perfect masking. I wish others didn’t see things like this as weird. We have different ways of showing emotions, but we still feel all of them.
You don't have to mask, too. Show the world how and who you really are. You are good the way you are. If someone doesn't like us, it's not our problem.
@@Flopsi80 So hard not mask though. I was diagnosed in grade 3 in 70s. They didn't know much about autism other than medical professionals checked a lot DSM criteria for behaviors. Their fix for that was beat me with a yard stick when ever I showed autistic traits and rewarded me candy for masking. It forced me to mask and feel great shame for being me. That's hard to get around.
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
@@chrismaxwell1624 Baby steps. A little bit at a time, you can gradually drop the mask. Think of the guy on the train mentioned above. It's OK to be like him. It's OK to be weird.
I'm sobbing because I just heard someone say what been in my head for a long time. I'm undiagnosed but fairly sure I am autistic and hearing this just made so much sense to me.
same here. sadly have my first negative diagnosis because i am too empatic. even though i can explain everything i used to come to my comclusion while everyone around me has no idea how they did it and i am the only one exhausted after the day in the clinic.... i will keep trying somewhere else
I'm an autistic 50 year old guy with an autistic son. I work as a Support Worker for mental health clients.... my brain just cried like a child after watching this. I've been saying the same thing for years now. This video confirmed my thoughts.
I'm pretty sure I'm undiagnosed autistic. I'm afraid of going to a psychiatrist because in my country, that would mean that I'm seeking a disability certificate. I'm afraid I'll be thrown out. I don't have great past experiences with medical professionals.
I'm 56 and I've struggled my entire life. I've got lots of these traits but I've never been diagnosed because doctors probably think that if you made it to 56 you must be ok. I feel extremely alone and I've had to use drugs and alcohol (alone) to cope with every day life. I've always been extremely awkward socially, I can only really cope with people on a one to one, crowds freak me out..I don't know what I'm trying to say, life really confuses me, but most people would never think about me being autistic, but I am 100percent certain that someone who knows what to look for would know straight away. I would love to be diagnosed because I'm going to die undiagnosed if I don't.
I grew up believing I was broken and have recently latched on the neurodiversity view... LIFE CHANGING! There are so many positives about the way I'm wired and I've learned to surround myself with people who can appreciate me the way I am. Yes there are difficulties, but I love my mind and am now teaching others to do the same.
I'm 43 years old and was just diagnosed a year ago. I knew my entire life that I had a completely different thought process than most everyone else, being diagnosed answered SO many questions! I'm still learning more about it & it's such a relief to know that I'm not the only one who gets annoyed by the things that most don't even pay attention to at all.
How can it be though that most if not all of the myer briggs types similr to me I’m intp type 5 enneagram and some other types like introverts are this way and that’s a very big percentage maybe a quarter of world so can it be that such a big part of world is born with a disorder ? Something just makes no sense .in my family we are six and 4 out of the six act this way... You can read about behavior types on website personality hacker or see their videos on utube . Any personality type that’s unhealthy or not matured yet will Look like they have a little of a disorder or mental issue ! And since learning in depth about my type I’ve actually gotten rid of a lot of anxiety and learned some great tools . Beatrice chestnut is also a great option to learn about urself and which fears drive each person... I wouldn’t call myself autistic even though it’s very similr description .. just like I wouldn’t call someone ocd spectrum of they wash their hands two time more a day then the average person..
the double empathy problem is something i've experienced my entire life and i'm glad it's finally been researched. i don't have problems talking to people, i have problems talking to neurotypicals. they do not speak my language. all my friends are neurodiverse and i swear i have the deepest, most meaningful, loving, and beautiful relationships with these people, which transcends distance and time. it is extremely easy to strike up conversations with neurodiverse. i simply don't know if such relationships can exist between myself and a neurotypical. the language and communication is different, and i love the way my friends and i communicate. it's straight forward, to the point, honest, and loving. i wouldn't want it any other way
Yeah, see that question was not specific or even complete, so that's why you didn't get an answer. What, specifically do you mean? In full. We hate open ended questions?
@@DaPoofDaPoofDaPoofDa (TLDR at the bottom) I'm not diagnosed autistic but my brother is and I'm about 80% sure I am and currently looking into it, so not sure how much weight my word holds (I've got multiple other neurodivergent diagnoses) What I feel is the biggest difference between neurotypicals and neurodivergents is the subtleties and assumptions. I have trouble understanding how someone feels or what they expect from me unless they tell me outright "I'm sad and need comforting." If someone is slumping and rubbing their head or speaking hesitantly or quietly, I'll think they're tired or not really think much of it at all. I notice the body language but I've only learned to associate certain behaviors with emotions by watching body language videos or tiral-and-error in social situations. Another thing is people stopping their sentence to say "y'know?" or something similar. No, no I don't know. I have literally no clue what you mean unless you tell me what you mean. A personal experiance of mine: I don't know if you consider me a friend unless you directly say I'm your friend. I've known people and hung out with them for months and talk and eat lunch together daily and not realize that they actually like me as a person until they at some point declare me their friend. This still happens to me, just this Sunday I made a comment where I said "Imagine having friends," thinking I had no friends in that room, and this girl that I didn't consider a friend despite her coming over to my house multiple times, sharing memes with me, talking to me everytime she sees me, and platonically cuddling me, says "wow. I take offense." She was joking of course because she thought I was just being self-depreicating and joking, but it surprised me becuase it didn't hit me until that moment that we were friends. Even right now I'm still unsure honestly cuz she was laughing when she said that so I don't know if she was just doing that thing where people dramatically pretend they're bestest buds who are weirdly close to mess with the people around them... This has happened to me with basically every single friend I have managed to keep to this day. I swear I'll learn my lesson each time it happens but it still creeps up on me every time. TLDR: We don't get it unless you say it bluntly. No hinting at what you mean, no chuckling because you feel awkward saying something serious otherwise we'll think you're joking and nothing you're saying is actually real, no "oh I like your outfit today wink wink" because I'll just be like, yah I like it too pretty good for walmart stuff.
Abigail Kiel in some areas of the world it can take a while to get diagnosed. It starts with his normal psychologist who can give a general interview with autism in mind and if they think it is the direction to head in, they can give you a referral to a specialist in autism diagnoses. Then he must go through a series of testing procedures that are laid out by the Diagnostic Statistical Manual DSM5 (questionnaires) to see where he falls on the spectrum or if he does. It took me about a year from beginning to end to be fully diagnosed and to what aspect - type1,2,3 etc (as to find a path forward with learning strategies in coping living in a NT dominated world). It doesn't stop just at a diagnosis. The diagnosis is really just the first step on a path of self regulation, reflection and learning to understand in yourself your unique traits you've been using to survive up until this point and possibly discovering even better traits and coping strategies. I must say, it can be a bumpy ride. I had 4 psychologists before my current one, who all diagnosed incorrect afflictions in me. None of these diagnoses exactly fit, but they were happy to slap on a label and cramm a new drug down my throat to deal with it. I had trusted their expertise and took medications that didn't work before eventually quitting all meds and realizing I wasn't sick. I was just different thinking. All the best with your journey.
I didn't have a permanent full-time job until I was 34 because I went undiagnosed until about age 30. I just fell through the cracks until then. The hardest part was the shame I felt through my 20s. Autism affected employment because it was hard to find a career field that was a good fit. Only after I got professional guidance I found something that fit. I hope that all autistic people can find the guidance they need as soon as possible and get jobs that fit, I hope they don't struggle and suffer.
I am 74 and my brother is 75.We grew up in England, I have always been and still am very close to him. I always felt that he was ' different', sometimes I felt sorry for him cos he had a problem with socialising, he doesn't have ' small talk' and can't relate to people when he meets them for the first time. He was diagnosed at 60 with Asperger's. He has always worked in lots of different jobs, always with good results. He was never scared of losing his job and always did things his way, no matter what other people said, he did what he found was correct. Yes, he is weird sometimes but the weider he is the more I love him!
Idiosyncratic… unique, talented, neurodiverse. Another human. Lots of ways to be wyrd. I worked with 2000 odd people. And I mean odd people. We all had our unique aspects of ASD, ADHD, etc. It made for challenging communications at times, but it was a place of high creativity, fine craftsmanship and brilliant thought.
I know it may seem like a small thing, but props to them for doing this barefoot. It's an act of radical self-love for autistics to choose comfort over conforming
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
My son is autistic and he loves to wear his clothes a much larger size. And his shoes are always too big. But I had to train myself not to complain. He goes to work everyday and is quite functional. He did not speak a word until he was 4 yrs old. God is good and his mercy endureth forever.
Essentially it's a culture clash. People used to ask me if I found it difficult living in Japan because the culture there must be "so different". But I would always be like, Japanese culture is no more alien to me than living among all you NTs all my life!
For a second I thought you meant NT's in the MBTI sense, and was very confused about why an autistic person would be bothered by xNTx personality types.
My son was diagnosed with autism at the age of five. He is now 43 and has taught me a great more about himself than I could ever teach him about himself. He is an amazing guy. Thanks for this message I am going to share with others.
Many parents have disabled kids. But they never wave their kids disability as badge of honor. If the sons is autistic but has a profession, works, can lives normal life, passion, has achieved something despite this huge obstacle of autism then show him as an example. If not juts make sure he is healthy and happy as much as he can be. I may sound as troll, but the world was not made for people with any disabilities. The people with disabilities had to adjust to the world not other way around.
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
To people who like to vent about how much your autistic children, students, or patients drive you insane and make you miserable: You have NO idea how much anxiety, frustration, self-loathing, loneliness, and sadness many of us have to go through nearly every single day, partially because of how you talk about us when we aren’t around. Believe it or not, most of us on the spectrum are fully aware of how much of a “handful” we can be for you, and we feel deeply ashamed and guilty as a result. We care about your hardship and suffering as much as you care about ours (the people who claim we are generally incapable of empathy or feeling the pain of others are full of s%;t). If we could stop doing the things that stress you out so much, we absolutely would. But just like a man with severe paralysis can’t simply get off his wheelchair to lessen the burden of those taking care of him, we simply cannot “stop being autistic” as much as we would love to make things much easier for you. If it’s wrong to complain about having to look after someone with physical disabilities, then it’s also wrong to complain about caring for people with developmental disabilities as if you are the true victim. Yes you are dealing with A LOT, you are being pushed to your limits, your patience and resilience is being out to the test; but if you truly and genuinely care about us and not want us to feel like worthless parasites, then stop talking about us as if we are a constant source of pain and stress and headaches. We may not be there when you talk about us like that, but we can hear you. And it not only hurts us A LOT, but it completely contradicts you telling us that we are “fully loved and embraced for who we are” and are “not a burden in the slightest.”
This is one of the best comments I’ve read and says what I’d like to say to those around me. Thank you so much. Apologies but I’ve nicked this via a screenshot
I hear you. My Mom used to talk about me to everyone in her family and always call me BAD...it hurt me very much and I never felt comfortable around them or at Christmas or any family function...and now as a Mom with an autistic son and 4 kids total. It's so stressful. I do complain about my son sometimes because I am so overwhelmed and need to express myself....
Damn, the rage I felt in their eyes when they said “we deserve better”. Right on. My college major was filled with people on the spectrum. It was a creative major in an engineering school. Even the professors themselves were seemingly on the spectrum. It was the most healthy social life I’ve ever had in my whole life. I felt like I belonged and although I masked, I didn’t have to mask too much. I always wondered why our cafeterias were so quiet. I was deeply hyposensitive at the time because I had complex trauma. I think back and realized I was in the perfect place and didn’t even know how perfect. The autistic community is helping me understand my sensory needs... like I don’t know why my head hurts until I learned to dim the lights. I didn’t know why I felt so frazzled until I started wearing noise cancelling headphones. I thought I was the only one who abhorred subway rides and cried everyday on my way to work only to find out I am completely valid and not alone. I fantasized that I’d find my tribe in the outskirts of Austin or in Colorado... maybe Hawaii.. I don’t know. Little did I know, my tribe is everywhere and we cope on the internet a lot.
@@sammythefox1057 Social media has been a great tool, it wasn't designed to make people hate their lives, those who have used it wisely and for the correct purpose have found it beneficial, especially autistic people. Social media allows autistic people to be in a suitable environment and not just communicate with people, but communicate with other autistic people who they can relate to more. It gives them more time to think how to respond. They are not so distracted by body language and social cues. There's much less anxiety for them. I'm autistic myself and a member of multiple autism communities, the autistic people both comfort each other and help parents understand their autistic children.
Hearing "it brought me an overwhelming sense of relief"..."I wasn't a failed neurotypical person..I was a perfectly good autistic person" hit so hard I just cried. Not sure I even want a diagnosis now that I'm over 30. So many jobs and friends..struggles with relationships, my marriage at this point in life, and now taking care of my toddler. At this point, I'm excited to meet others so I don't feel so alone anymore. 🤗💞
@@xeniamundi7514 That's not true. Self-diagnosis is valid. This is especially the case considering how immensely difficult it is to find a professional who is trained in understanding how Autism manifests in adults, and especially in adults who are women and have learned how to mask. Also, professional diagnosis is expensive and often has a waiting list of months to years. Also, due to stigma and outdated disability-centered beliefs, as explained in this video, sometimes an official diagnosis can create walls instead of opportunity. Why get a diagnosis if you don't need to ask for supports from work or school? But less practically, why would someone 'claim' to be Autistic just to have friends if they're neurotypical? By nature of the Double Empathy Problem, they wouldn't feel comfortable or have any fun. Since neurotypical people are wired to be more comfortable in neurotypical social dynamics, a 'lonely' neurotypical person would just join a book club or volleyball league-- they have lots of options & wouldn't artificially shoehorn themselves into a neurodivergent dynamic. A self-diagnosed Autistic person would find acceptance, validation, and solace in a neurodivergent social situation... why would anyone deny them that? No one I have encountered has denied me and I feel grateful for that. @Lindsey4190, I embrace your realization that you're Autistic-- I'm just one person, but it's good enough for me! :)
I empathize with your self-diagnosis. I am also not “officially” diagnosed as being Autistic or having an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) but the years that I was in college along with my Personal Research on the topic of Aspergers, the symptoms of what an Autism Spectrum Disorder can look like, and “Autism in Women” has really lead me to the Self-Diagnosis of having Aspergers/Autism (ASD). [ just a note about why I put Officially in Quotation marks is because I have had an ADOS assessment to see if I have an Autism Spectrum Disorder and another assessment to test if I have any thing else such as what would be considered a subsequent Mental/Social/Personality Disorder which came back “Inconclusive for an Autism Spectrum Disorder” that’s just some background information (which no one really asked for but I thought I might mention this just to make everything that I wrote was as clear as possible.)
If you ever do need to assert your rights legally, such as for employment discrimination, not already having a medical diagnosis can make that a good bit more difficult to win. IANAL, have won a settlement for discrimination once though.
I'm an autistic woman who turns 55 years old tomorrow. I received my genetic diagnosis in 2014 as ARX-linked autism thru Riley Children's hospital Indianapolis. I'm also a mum to three amazing & beautiful autistic sons. Thank you for saying this & all you do! ☮️💜🦄🦊
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I'm pretty sure both my dad and my sister have autism, but neither one has ever been diagnosed. My dad is a family physician and has been bullied his entire career by the doctors he works with. He has always just seen himself as a failure and hated going to work every day for 20 years! He recently retired, and my siblings and I are learning more about how hard it was for him. I wish he had been able to get diagnosed, so that he could see that he's not a failure, he just communicates differently from others. He's a very empathetic doctor, and really does care for each of his patients. I have seen him give free medial care to people who couldn't afford going in to see a doctor. He's never out to get the glory, he's simply just trying to serve those around him. Unfortunately, the medical field doesn't allow much room for people like him.
As a person on the spectrum who was diagnosed with autism while getting a PhD (social cognition), I am with you 100% in framing disability as a P-E fit issue. (Person-Environment) I had great career until things changed in my environment. It was then that I came out to HR, hoping to change things in the environment and reclaim my status as an award-winning college professor. Instead, after finding out my condition, I was hounded out. It never seemed to occur to them that the same person who'd been invited to lecture at Oxford that year could probably continue to do that research at that college with just a little goodwill, and, ironically, empathy.
Much like me and my time with the Air Force. If they had just accommodated my request to be with my family during my son’s birth (just a delay for 2 weeks for a static rotation, no mission urgency) they would still have me. And yes, some Aspies serve, and we’d gladly do it should the need arise.
And what about the millions of others who are not high functioning who live very limited lives. I see her as self centered and ignoring that others suffer due to autism.
@@CNI2063 I spell things out to people like this; Me: What makes you think my Autism is a disability? NT: Because Autism causes you difficulties and makes you struggle. Me: Hmm, maybe you haven't realised, you're disabled too! NT: How am I disabled, what disability do I have? Me: Well every human being has difficulties and struggle at various situations, so humanity must be a disability. NT: But you need support with your difficulties. Me: When you struggle you need support don't you? So what's the difference? Then they're speechless. Many people like those of us with Autism have encouraged doctors to pay less attention on weaknesses and more on the positive differences.
Autism is not a death sentence. You can be autistic and live a long happy life. The number of people that told me how sorry they were after my son's diagnosis was crazy. I wasn't sad. I didn't need sympathy. My son may have some social deficits, but he's still my son. He's still a happy, brilliant little boy. So he doesn't have tons of friends, its okay. He doesn't want a lot of friends he likes having a small close knit group. He'll never be voted most popular, but he'll always be perfect as he is.
So he likes having a small close knit group ok, but can you tell us more about autism? Because speaker failed to provide any info for people not familiar with autism in real life situations, how is it like? I have no doubt and already share a view of speaker, but tell us more about how to communicate with autistic people, something practical, something i can use!!!
What I took from this is that we should all think about autism as an effect (not defect) that causes a different way of thinking (not a wrong way of thinking), that we should respect people who have it and try to understand them. I know a lot of autistic people who function well in society and a lot of not autistic people who don't function well in society. It may be that the average autistic person functions well less than your average person but that might be a society issue. It's hard to put your talents to good use when you're constantly being put down by society. A lot of autistic people have a beautiful mind and just never get a chance.
Absolutely, as I mentioned in my comment, neurotypical people view us in an ethnocentric manner and when we don't do as they expect, they often interpret our difference as negative, and their interpretations may have little to do with what we are actually attempting to do in our communications.
@@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS I agree. My son is 9, diagnosed at 2. He has a habit of saying things that, if they were to come from an NT person, they automatically assume he's trying to act like a smart aleck, when in reality, he means to be serious!
Imagine a autistic person was president of the USA. They would tell the people the truth everyday, having there health and wealth at heart, and do what right for everybody. Where would the likes of newton Einstein Elon musk Steve jobs bill gates be if people were afraid to think different from the sheep
9:45 my marriage to another autistic is 💯 easier than my ex-es who were not autistic. My wife and I literally understand each other and give a lot of grace.
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
@@LightbringerDesigns Environments don't disable people, environments can be altered, gamed or worked around, physical abilities will always be the deciding factor 😉
@@SpectreOZ pretty much even if acomidations were still there as an autistic myself id still be disabled by sesory overload from things like lights and noise id still be disbilitated by my meltdowns there for we would still be disabled even if society made the acomidations wich is why its a disability
@@PixelTheExtraTerrestrial A matter of perspective, you are you and that cannot be changed, coping skills can be learnt/employed and altered patterns of interacting with society are up to the individual, shop early or much later when there are less people (and associated ruckus), check different locations for the least triggering, this is one reason people choose to work from home when able for just one example.
Delusion at it finest. It does not promote independence for disabled people, but rather enforces wishful thinking the world needs to revolt around you.
My youngest is autistic and she's the best person in my life. The more I research autism, the more my past makes so much sense. She has so many sensory issues but we battle through it together. Thank you so very much for this lecture.
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I was diagnosed with autism about a year ago. As I learned more about myself and my autism, I claimed the word disabled. My parents hate that I do that, they mean to say that I am not disabled and that I can function fine in the world around me. But they forget that I'm masking, I'm constantly acting the way a neurotypical society wants me to. And it's exhausting! I wish I had found this sooner. For a long time, I'd been going off the medical model of being disabled, and it sucked. A lot. I could see the things around me, that wasn't made for me. But this has helped me see things in a new light. Thank you. -A young autistic man
I’ve stopped my masking. Finally understand myself enough now to do so. And it’s wonderful. I’m so happy to be my ASD wonderful self openly. There are ways to do this safely and I hope you discover what works for you.
Yea my family doesn’t like when I refer to myself as disabled either , especially bc my mom works with autistic children who have higher needs than I / “low functioning “ so she compares their autism to mine
My son has Asperger's and also has depression. I know the suicide rate among Autistics but when it's mentioned, it brought tears to my eyes because it shouldn't be that way.
I found out I was Aspie at the age of 44 when my son was diagnosed, I would make a few simple observations for your son in the hope that it may help him. 1.) He is not disabled, he is not broken, he is simply different. 2.) Society treats autistic people very badly, but it is getting better. 3.) As an Aspie, he has gifts, use them, maximise them and don't worry what neurotypical normal think. 4.) Science increasingly believes that those like him are the next evolution of human beings, because we are better adapted to a science and fact based world than a social one. so mother nature has tilted our balance in favour of abilities useful in a technological society. 5.) I would never give up being who I am to be normal, because that would mean being common, boring and normal. Why would I want that when I am gifted, stupidly smart and understand things in a way that very, very few people ever can. 6.) Being an Aspie is like having superpowers, but it does like all superpowers have it's drawbacks. 7.) Try and spend time with other Aspies, talk with them, make friends with them, because you won't find the hard work like normal people. We are a lot more common than most people think. 8.) Spend time around animals, they are so much nicer than people and their is no BS. 9.) Remember that society, school etc will try and judge him on his monkey like abilities, when he's not a monkey, he's a fish. If you judge a fish by it's ability at climbing tree's it will always fail. Perspective is key.
I agree with what Duncan said you’re son is just different and there’s nothing wrong with that Believe me I know what’s it’s like to be wired differently because I have autism
@@ts757arse Indeed, for me one of the funny things is my best mate. We first met each other around age 18 and instantly clicked, over 30 years later I've found out I'm Aspie and he's found out he's ASD, he has two autistic daughters, I have an Aspie son and they get on like a house on fire, zero awkwardness between them. He is probably the only person I talk to regularly where I do not have to apply any filters to what I say and we've both helped each other a lot in life. Just being able to talk through stuff with him and let the valves containing a lot of stuff blow and vent makes a massive difference.
@@ts757arse and then people are bent, broken, and fit into a category, but none of the categories fit, so then people keep being bent and broken over and over
When I discovered I am autistic the relief was huge. Suddenly I understood my life and why I think the way I do. Prior to this I thought I was cursed by God for something I had done in a previous life. In school I was bullied mercilessly by students and teachers and my grades suffered. And when I was 18 I began to develop schizophrenia. I've also had depression since age 15. Aside from that I'm fine. (As you can see I have retained my sense of humour). And for the record I am proud to be autistic, we are very special in world which doesn't have the wisdom to appreciate us yet.
I share that feeling. Life was extremely hard for me until I realized that neurotypicals are not gods. They are just people. They don't control us and we shouldn't let them. Be proud of being aspie. We are special in a different way than normies think is "special." We can actually control our emotions. I think that is a gift.
I’m amazed she managed to present such an amazing talk with that countdown clock flashing at her the whole time! I’m autistic and I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate with that flashing. Brilliant talk btw. Love the double empathy model. I now have a new special interest to deep dive in 🥰
@@limdingwen At Ted talks, it starts flashing when you only have a few minutes left, to remind the speaker that it is time to wrap up. I would find it so distracting that I would stop talking as soon as the flashing started.
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
@@sofiasmallstorm7457 I was never lied to about the Earth being a ball, I knew that from when I was in Grade Two. I also learnt that the sun doesn't rise, the Earth rotates around it, hence Japan is one hour behind Australian Eastern Standard Time, and Britain is ten hours behind Australian Eastern Standard Time. Gravity is what holds us on earth and that is what makes it appear flat. When I was in Year Four, we learnt a song and the lyrics were, "Well, the Earth is so large, that each little part appears to be quite flat, We won't fall off due to a simple fact.... Gravity, gravity, is what we call that force."
@@peterwynn2169 Gravity is just an unprovable theory. It's also an excuse for the ball lie, which makes no sense, with Oceans and Clouds floating. Nor Satellites, which "float" above, yet the moon is in a Gravity lock !? It's laughable once you start to analyze the lies.
2:45 Compared to neurotypical people, we have deficits. But the things we lack are simply not necessary when we communicate with each other. So they are only deficits from a neurotypical perspective.
a quote by Steve Silberman: “By autistic standards, the “normal” brain is easily distractible, is obsessively social, and suffers from a deficit of attention to detail and routine."
@@drzeworyj But not focusing on a single task too much is what kept us alive in the past, because we had to be able to quickly identify all threats surrounding us and do many different tasks. In our current society, where we are relatively safe and can focus on one specialized task, being autistic can be beneficial, but the neurotypical people have their benefits too. We should accept both types of thinking, because both are needed to survive and to evolve.
@Jim Dawson Exactly! I've thought this too. People are willing to surgically alter appearance just to compete with other men or women. They sometimes cheat, lie, and use drugs just to prove to others (and themselves) that they are socially-superior. On the flipside too, however, it can also guide people into the right direction with love and support. I do also think it is preposterous to believe neurotypical people are superior in general... just because a cognitive type is common does not make it "better" objectively.
Neurotypical people have plenty of deficits, it's just that society has been designed to accept, even support those deficits and make them useful. You need the neurotypical people to make up for the deficits in the autistic people, and you need the autistic people to make up for the deficits in the neurotypicals. Yin and Yan. Oh and autistic people aren't "awkward" either, they're just different - you fear what you do not understand and you hate what you fear.
This touches me so deeply, because to me my son is perfect and I live in the quirks that make him who he is. His sustained innocent joys, the exuberant way he expresses them. I want this world to be perfect for him not the other way around. Thank you so much for this and all you are doing to make this dream a reality.
@Jimmy Clark I am glad you found something that worked for you. I did speech therapy for / with my boys. It has worked very well. I also learned signs that I taught them. Also music has made an amazing difference. It takes time, patience, and enthusiasm for their success no matter how small.
"Just like biodiversity helps to create a healthy and sustainable physical environment, neurodiversity can help to create a heslthy and sustainable cognitive environment." I love that quote
Minerva Sanchez You are a good mom. Just because someone says otherwise does not mean it's true. But I'm sure you already know this. 🙂 💜 Sorry for my english.
That does make sense. I tend to gravitate towards other autistic people, even if neither of us knows the other is autistic. I'm friendly with non-autistics, but the friendships don't usually stick. I'm usually good friends with folks that are autistic, or that I wouldn't be surprised if they got an autism diagnosis in the future. Non autistics just seem so... Aloof. So.... Superficial and emotionless. Like, when us autistics are happy, we are enthusiastically happy! You can see it in wiggles or flapping or loud exclamations. Non-autistics also don't seem to go as deeply into things as we do. Have you practically memorized a book or movie? Do you research and analyze your favorite subject for fun? Also, non-autistics have dulled senses. Especially smell. Y'all can't smell a darned thing. The outdoors in spring and summer smell awesome by the way. Aaaand if I pass you on the street, I can tell if you showered within the last hour or so, because you reek of soap.
@@LinYouToo Not at all. I'm simply saying what I have observed from my autism and others... It was exaggerated for comedic effect. I was mostly trying to reverse the usual pattern of "autistics are weird and can't do anything" to "allistics are weird and can't do anything". Pardon me if it came off as offensive towards fellow autistics. That was not my intent. I was intending to be offensive to allistics for comedic effect.
Hi Asura, Yeah most people are spending a large amount of their time avoiding emotions where as autistic people have no choice as they have so much emotion. lol I have a friend who has autism and she often says she smells and I tell her I can't smell her at all which gives her relief :) Though I have a heightened sense of sound I take in vast amounts of information from sound that most people including my autistic friend block out in fact she is really good at selecting sounds she blocks out.
@Jane Smith I agree with you. For me, Asperger's in other people seems to be only a hinder for communication. Imagine this situation: Two shy aspies who have never talked to each other end up sitting beside each other on a lesson. One of them is a serious need for a pen. He wants to ask for a pen from the other person, who he has realized that is an aspie too. That realizement doesn't make asking for the pen any easier, just the opposite. After a minute or so he gets the words out, stuttering, and receives the pen. If the other person was an NT, the process would have been significantly less painful. I don't understand the double empathy theory.
My daughter is non verbal Autistic and I wouldn't change her for the world she's fun ,exciting ,creative it's and journey and a path I'm on her with 100% and learn from her everyday and I couldn't be more proud of the person she is and the milestones she's accomplished
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
the social/medical paradigm also applies to physical disabilities people who needed glasses were all disabled before glasses were made, and anyone without access to glasses they need is currently disabled to some degree same thing for those in wheelchairs, if things were always accessible to us (lower shelves, curb cuts, ramps, elevators, etc.) we wouldn't be disabled
Yeah but we ARE dis-abled in those areas. We Aspies and Autistics don't have to lie to ourselves, or demand they build a "ramp" for us. I'm sure if we solve the problem for ourselves, we'll do something like design a way to never need to "climb the stairs" the way the NT's do in the first place. For me, I can love myself and admit my disabilities without the need to raise a fuss and demand change. I'm not going to pound someone into accepting me and solving for me. I'm disabled in some ways. So what? The question you should ask is are you going to stick around long enough to see what I can do better than most?
obviously, but those communities can speak on their own behalf. The deaf community, for instance, is VERY VERY vocal. No need to hijack the conversation to focus on other 'disabilities' (i.e. it happens to us tooooooo! look at meee!). This is an autism-specific conversation, leave it at that. Thanks.
@@Sarah.R.R My apologies! I was not attempting to highjack the conversation and whine about "wahh we have this too" what I meant to say was that it was interesting that we share similar experiences, and I just wanted to point it out. I am sorry it came off as derailing and not as an addition to the conversation
i was misdiagnosed with bipolar, depression, a.d.d., a.d.h.d. and o.c.d. and tried every medication out there-they all made me feel horrible. when i was 50, my psychiatrist (i was going because i wanted help) finally tested me and told me i had aspergers-that explained EVERYTHING-mostly why i never have felt like i fit in anywhere
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I absolutely love this ted talk. I love the talk about different understanding of disability. Just because we don't function how society "says we should" doesn't mean there is a problem with us. The social model of disability makes so much sense.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childand has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely
Thank you for doing this research. I was trying to explain how people who are not autistic interpret our behavior in an ethnocentric way to my therapist using a recent example from the life of an autistic friend of mine. My neurotypical therapist characteristically characterized my friend's behavior as insensitive when actually it was the neurotypical person who was inferring that my friend's comments about herself were comments about the neurotypical person. My friend not understanding that someone would illogically flip comments about herself, which were full of integrity (from an autistic point of view), means she was innocently unaware that that's what neurotypical people often do: they flip the script and assume insult. My autistic friend wasn't insensitive. She's one of the most delightful and caring people I know. She shows concern for other people's feelings all the time. Given that I'd introduced the example with, "neurotypical people interpret autistic behavior ethnocentrically," you'd think my therapist, being a skilled communicator, might have some insight into how her interjections about insensitivity were received. She did not. She was as clueless as to what I was attempting to explain as autistic people seem to be to people who are not autistic. And worse, I think my therapist missed the point entirely: often, the words neurotypical people use to describe autistic people are negative. They often miss how authentic, how caring, and how full of integrity many autistic people are. Yes, double empathy is one of the problems when it comes to communications between autistic and non-autistic people. (Another is how neurotypical people expect we'll read their minds when in reality they have misunderstandings between themselves all the time as a result of the indirect language they employ.) (When I said "illogically" above, that was not a judgment about neurotypical people. It was a description of how logical my friend is in her approach to her world and others. Before I was diagnosed, the therapist who diagnosed me would periodically make comments about my use of logic--e.g., "You're incredibly rational and you expect others to be as rational as you. People are not as rational as you think they ought to be, and it's irrational to expect that of them." Trying to predict where neurotypical people deviate from logic is not easy. Knowing that they read into things doesn't help because I have no control over what they read into direct communications. Communications are dynamic. It's not like we can carry around scripts to predict how neurotypical people might respond in any given situation.)
Yes! The funny generalized medical diagnostic criteria that ND people are "poor communicators" is highly inaccurate. It should instead say ND people are poor at predicting NT arbitrary insinuations and reversible context, just as it could be said NT people are as equally unable to interpret the logical and highly accurate (literal) communication style of an autist. All types of humans seem to have issues with communication, but only autistic communication is attacked as being poor. If the world was only autistic, no one would take things out of context, everything would be understood and communicated as its exact literal meaning. Way less confusing! 🤪
@@JAMQWERT Yes you are right about only autistic communication being attacked. The thing is autistic people are constantly aware of everything they are doing to fit in so are always trying to read other people and just make mistakes in interpretation. Where as NT's are almost totally unaware of what the differences are. If us NT's where so much more able we wouldn't be looking at autistic responses or behaviour as having anything wrong. That is up to where there are those that are incapacitated by autism and cant function for themselves then it becomes extremely hard to communicate.
If the world was only autistic the world would be a so much easier place, no one would need to waste stress trying to interpret or second-guess the meanings of others, rules would be clear, and things would get done so much more efficiently.
Dr. Houting, you are a blessing! As a 33 year old on the spectrum, you’ve helped me look past being disabled and view my autism differently. Thank you for all you do.
I'm a 29 year old woman, diagnosed two years ago. Brought me a sense of relief as well. My whole life also made sense. Relate to you 100%. The first general perspective has really put my head in a spin and run me in the ground various times due to depression. Because yes, I've had all the therapies you were referring to - just be more 'neurotypical'. Thank you for showing a different more positive perspective.
Oof, when she was stating numbered facts I started balling my eyes out 😭 Average life expectancy of 54 years, 9 times more likely to die by suicide... It's so sad and unfair...
Yes, that part about 9 times more likely to die by suicide really made me sad too. Ugh! That is so terrible. To anyone thinking of suicide, please know that you are loved for who you are and you are valuable and you matter.
It´s not unfair, we are a minority. Fairness is democratic. And basically by not letting us live up to our potential, they are robbing themselves. So fair all around. Sad I can agree with.
Sensory shopping is like wheelchair ramps: Most people don't need it but we still do it because we live in a society (!!1) and that also means adapting to everybody's needs (within reason).
People are living longer, so more need for wheelchairs in the future. ramps are a blessing for people transporting kids in strollers etc also. So it helps just a little bit more than we might realise.
Malls are horrible for more reasons than being loud and unpredictable. I recommend buying in local or Internet shops. Fast fashion ruins workers and environment. It's not worth supporting
And building a ramp will let everyone get where they need. Building stairs will only help those able to climb them. Sometimes adapting to people's needs have no negative effects, only positive.
I was just diagnosed ASD-1 last week at age 44. I’m an RN. I have an M.Ed and am a certified massage therapist. I didn’t know what to get my PhD in until just now. You’ve inspired me to pursue something related to ASD-1. Thank you for publishing this and for going public with your message. That’s also inspiring. Thank you
I dont have an official diagnosis but I'm sure I'm autistic level 1. I work in the medical field as a radiology technologist and also as a writer. I'm hoping to transition myself into being a writer full time because working as an RT full time exhausts my mental health just by masking alone and most jobs are not accommodating to my environmental needs. As one health professional to another dealing with autism, I applaud you.
When I found out that I'm Aspie, my whole life just clicked. Like a puzzle or a mystery solved. A great weight was taken from me. I just understood why was so hard to pay attention to what people said, and why people tend to change subjects with me so much... A lot of strangeness from my childhood...
I'm a non autistic person, but after viewing this video my eyes are open wide...such a great way to explain, so confidently she did that, I'm really obliged to hear all information❤
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I'm at a special school for autism when I was in mainstream everybody new I was autistic and they made fun of me I never left that school without a bruise or a broken nose that was because I was autistic I felt really suicidal because of those times may god be with you to anybody who is going through what I went through and hope there is light at end of the tunnel
They do not know that YOU are a treasure, because you are special! They? They are just average. You can achieve a lot more than them. They only are good working bees.
I was 21 when I was diagnosed with ASD... I wish I would have diagnosed sooner, and I feel we as people should try to help others get diagnosed ASAP....
yea, unfortunate for you, but 21 in others eyes is still better than the outcome they received. I received my diagnosis at 26. I would have loved to know at 21 because then I could have come to a place of understanding and acceptance much sooner, and my road wouldn't have been as winding. And, I know some people who received a diagnosis at 40, 50, and 60+... who probably also share similar thoughts to people much younger than themselves. I've seen parents complain when they have their children diagnosed at 10, 11 and 12, and they are of the opinion that is 'late'. It's all about perspective.
@@Sarah.R.R Very much so, I was diagnosed at 40 and autism isn't my problem, my problems are the shattered sense of self that comes from living for 40 years not knowing and feeling broken everyday.
I am not so sure. I was diagnosed at 23. For all we know, we may have been lucky. Understanding of autism is still relatively new, and all sorts of trouble was involved in getting to where we are today. Even still, that understanding is far from perfect. If we had been diagnosed earlier, it’s plenty possible that the “support” we found could have made situations much worse. As for me, I was very fortunate. My parents did not know a I was autistic, but went out of their way to meet many of my needs. I took acting, debate, team sports. My parents started homeschooling me once school began to get stressful. I recently found an article on autism my mom had looked at when I was a kid. It was an ABA article that explained autism in... a very unflattering way. I am exceedingly grateful for how things turned out.
Diagnosis at 48 :) I'm just happy with it now. It's interesting though I think that I've been able to achieve more struggling against the ableism that I would have if I'd been diagnosed as a kid and struggled against the prejudice. Be that as it may the only way I can move now is forward and helping ASD community achieve everything they deserve.
I am 49, never diagnosed with anything aside from depression but explaining myself to others as Im kinda autistic for many years. Lately I've been really down and thank all the people like this speaker for your veiws. It helps to know progress is being made. 54 years life expectancy is really unacceptable.
heather have a crack at RDOS aspie quiz go straight to the test fill out your demographic and don't over think it....It is how I got a bit more evidence that I was on the spectrum and have since seen a psychologist that was well versed in autism who concluded that I was on the spectrum ...good luck
self-diagnosis is perfectly valid, you're welcome to participate in the autistic community as much as you'd like psychology has been progressing & it's not completely useless but it's not magic, they're just drawing up various categories of what sorts of thinkers there seem to be in the world & then figuring out what interventions help,,, autism is a broad category, really, not a particular condition, it's a catch-all for lots of interesting people who sense the world in ways that cause us to be much less able to enact "normal" (a terrible unnecessary thing which also oppresses neurotypical people),, you can read through the dsm description of autism yourself, it's just that, it just says like, see if our interests are "abnormal", like, check out of we seem weird
This is exactly how I feel! I love my brain! Society needs to be more considerate of other people's needs. Everyone is facing their own battles you know nothing about - be patient!
To being disabled by the environment: I used to feel limited by being a left-handed. (because the world has been created mostly by (and consequently for) right-handed...) There are so many things right-handed people don't have to even consider because for them they feel natural. For me it is some kind of a struggle every day.
Both handed! But i had to struggle, too. At the time i went to school, teacher would accept left handed. But i just picked up the pen and swapped it from one to the other. So she told me to decide. It was very hard and i am a little bit sad i chose the right hand. It is more convienient. If we wouldve learned writing arabic i think i would have picked the left. Today i still can write with left hand but its training stopped in 3rd grade, so the writing looks like that. Its helpful learning juggling and music instruments.
Literally came to say the same thing! Left-handed people have a higher chance to die (being extreme) as this world is designed for the right handed man. Now to think of it on a broader sense. How are we in any way whatsoever supporting the more vulnerable if everybody is expected to adapt and balance to the typical way of life. Surely we should make adjustments for them!
@@geddinixan255 It can be hard to notice but you’re actually pressing sideways on the scissors to push the blades towards each other when you cut. If you use left handed scissors in your right hand and try to use them normally then you will be pushing the blades away from each other preventing you from using them.
@@lolaby2 it works bothways, if you use the left handed scissors in your right hand you will also have to push the bottom part up. You are right there must be some pressure normally you would do that with the thumb on the top part by pushing it away from you. With the left handed scissor in the right hand you will have to do it with the fingers at the bottom part by pulling it towards yourself.
That was really interesting! They're absolutely right on the information diffusion issue - that's very cool to have it confirmed. And they're right that it's a complete paradigm shift - I had the same experience: I wasn't just someone who couldn't work out why they couldn't cope with stuff everyone else seems fine with: I'm autistic. It was very much a relief that I didn't HAVE to keep fighting so hard to be "normal" - it's exhausting! And now I know that people aren't pretending to be "normal", it literally was just me. And I don't have to. 🥰
"Normalization" is a component of "love". I raised an autistic boy by simply standing out of his path. From non-function to hyper-function. But I was not alone. It took a whole community of loving people from all disciplines to get that done. Which was the doing of my son when he was allowed to do it. Paradigm-shift? Yes. We are changed .. for the better .. and thanks to our autistic messengers? Not all hear it. Very few in fact. But enough. It takes a village. And when the vilification of the autistic ends? The village will arise again. And the village is the power of humanity. Be of good heart? We default to this, just as our acceptance of the message our autistic bring us. We snap-back very quick. Things would be grim otherwise. Be of good heart. The autistic were not sent here to stress us. They were sent to liberate us from stress. (It helps to read Sapolsky to know this .. but you already know. Don't you?)
I am Autistic but I was raised By my mom who is also Autistic. That was very good since she could cater to my very specific needs that she also had as a child but her parents didn't understand. I never ever thought of myself as weird or out of the ordinary but everyone else did and I never understood, I was bad at socializing with my age group and preferred to eavesdrop on adults and find out things That I wasn't supposed to. Or sometimes I would be with a group of adults and then one of them would crack a joke and I would genuinely laugh because I got it lol and I'd just creep them all out.
@@straberryshinigami15g97 , thank you for bringing this comment to my attention - I have edited to correct for J's updated pronouns [the original comment was written three years ago though :) ]
I was diagnosed on the spectrum at age 42 only after I had my son diagnosed. Like she said, MY WHOLE LIFE MADE SENSE!!! I felt like I exhaled after holding my breath my whole life. Remembering incidents in elementary school that I had felt embarrassed or ashamed or even been disciplined for…..that all made immediate sense when I learned I was on the spectrum. I no longer feel ashamed or embarrassed. I know I wasn’t the “bad kid”. Now my son is almost 5 and I am learning right along with him. This life is an absolute trip😊
Her: "most of us are unemployed an are the highest to die to suicide" Me: on the spectrum, unemployed, depressed out of my mind wantin to die. Me: "dont call me out now" Dw i aint gonna, im actually in process of healin uwu
I planned to kill myself 2 years ago not knowing what was going on with me. I felt so alone, constantly bullied and exploited and rejected. Couldn’t hold down a job, terrified of subways and roombas, and being talked down to because I’m looking like 15 when I was actually 28. I felt like I was trapped in a narcissistic matrix and everybody had some sort of dark triad psychosis. People dragged me to bars and it was awful. I couldn’t have fun the way people normally did. I’m so glad I’m alive. I have so much hope now. I am closer to find my tribe. I am grateful and feeling blessed. Depression starts off by chronic stress, trauma and/or hopelessness but stays because lack of exercise and lack of sleep. My parents are still neglectful and abusive at times but it doesn’t matter anymore because I have all the tools I gathered from healing myself. It’s really hard and I don’t blame you. It was a really dark hole and it was scary to be in that hole and I was in it for a loooooong time. I don’t have a job still and my recent relationship was very abusive to me. I have hope because I am finding more and more resources and more and more people like myself. I see myself grow little by little everyday and making better changes for myself. There are more days I wake up excited to get out of bed now. It’s as if the universe (I call Him “Love”) is teaching me how to cultivate happiness within myself regardless of my external factors.
@@lynngrant4023 not the op but here's the definition according to the urban dictionary: UwU or uwu is another way of typing the smiley face :3. It means happy, like an anime character's face when they're overjoyed.
This is so objectively speaking the single most accurate way of viewing the topic of autism that it's hard to understand how anyone can see it differently, let alone how the almost polar opposite view has so thoroughly dominated the discussion across society. Thanks for bringing some clarity to an incredibly murky issue!
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childand has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely
This idea of us being disabled by our environment has become so clear to me in the last 2 years. I started my a levels in a sixth form of 2000 students that was constantly busy and noisy, class sizes were easily 30 with maybe 20 in my physics lessons. Nobody could tell why I had gone from achieving 5 grade 8s, as well as grade 9 in physics and chemistry, to failing and getting Es in Chemistry A level, further maths and C's in physics. I couldn't cope with the class sizes the noise, not being able to fit in with my own schedule (forced to try and do all my extra work at home in evenings when I'd rather do it at school before going home.) Then I got an opportunity to restart, I'm privileged enough that my parents could afford to send me to a smaller private school with only about 200 students and class sizes that were no larger than 9, usually closer to 5. Instantly I start to return to who I was (and have always been before), a fair few hiccups with health anxiety and other things but the college were accommodating, the time table from 9-6 like a proper work day meant I could get my work done in college and relax at home following my special interests. I still have problems, I really struggle to get myself to revise and am a massive procrastinator but despite this I've now completed my maths a level (hopefully an A*, entirely confident I got at least an A) and I'm predicted A* in history and physics. I may do further maths depending on the maths a level result. I feel like my life is so much better now despite the daily struggles I still face, but I think I finally got the opportunity to be me again and it was all my environment. I haven't really changed from 15 to 18. It's my environment that has influenced my academic achievement. A year ago I thought of myself as a failure, now a year on if all goes well I'll be applying to Cambridge and Edinburgh universities :)
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
Closed captions of TED Talks are added by volunteers. Whenever you think "this TED Talk needs closed captions" or "this TED Talk needs to be translated to this other language", the best way to make it happen is to do it yourself. There's information on the TED website on how to sign up.
@@raizin4908 completely possible that the reason Skye's asking is because they need the captions. A good response to "I need the captions" isn't to tell them to do it themselves.
TRANSCRIPT: We know that the earth is round. Everything we understand about this planet is grounded in the fundamental assumption that the earth is round but there was a time not all that long ago when we knew that the earth was flat. That's called a paradigm shift. Our basic assumptions about the earth changed because we had evidence showing that our previous assumptions were wrong. Just like the shape of the earth, there are assumptions about autism too. Most people understand autism through medical assumptions. They understand autism as a medical condition, a disorder, even as a tragedy. In the medical paradigm, we're taught to believe that there's a correct way to develop neurologically. That there's a right way for our brains to work: the normal way, and that any other way of developing is wrong and needs to be treated and fixed. In 2011 when I was 25 years old, I was diagnosed with autism and it wasn't a tragedy. It was the best thing that's ever happened to me. Finding out that I'm autistic brought me an overwhelming sense of relief. My whole life up to that point finally made sense. My paradigm about myself shifted. I wasn't a failed neurotypical person, I was a perfectly good autistic person. After my diagnosis I did what most of us would probably do- I went to Doctor Google and I started researching autism. Eventually, I upgraded from Doctor Google and did my PhD in autism, became a doctor myself, and today I'm proud to be one of a growing number of openly autistic people working in autism research. But in those early days I wasn't running a complex research project, I was just trying to learn more about myself. And learn about myself I did. I was bombarded with information. I was bombarded with information about my deficits. Autism causes deficits in social interaction, deficits in communication, restricted and repetitive behaviours, sensory processing deficits. For me, that information just didn't make sense. Finding out that I'm autistic had completely changed my life for the better. How could something that was so positive for me be such a bad thing? So, I went back to Doctor Google, but this time I dug deeper. I started to find information about autism that was written not by researchers or other professionals, but by actual autistic people. I discovered a thing called the neurodiversity paradigm. The neurodiversity paradigm is an alternative way of thinking about autism. It describes autism as a part of the range of natural variation in human neurological development. At its very simplest autism is a different way of thinking. Just like biodiversity helps to create a healthy and sustainable physical environment, neurodiversity can help to create a healthy and sustainable cognitive environment. According to the neurodiversity paradigm, there are no right or wrong brains- all forms of neurological development are equally valid and equally valuable and regardless of what type of brain you've got, all people are entitled to full and equal human rights and to be treated with dignity and respect. Now that sounds a bit like a panacea, I know, treating people with dignity and respect. It just makes sense. You might be surprised then to learn that a pretty common way of reacting to this idea is “I don't know, I mean it's alright for you, but it doesn't apply to everybody. What about this person? They're really autistic. They're not just different, they’re disabled”. Well maybe you can't tell just by looking at me, but I'm disabled too. I’m not disabled by my autism though; I'm disabled by my environment. This is another paradigm shift. The way that we’re used to thinking about disability is based on a model called the medical model of disability. The medical model assumes that disability is an individual problem. It places disability within the disabled person- within me. For example, I really struggle with shopping malls. They’re loud, they’re brightly lit, they’re unpredictable, they’re full of people. The medical model would say that I struggle with shopping malls because there's a problem with the way that my brain processes that input because I'm autistic. But there's another way to think about disability, it's called the social model of disability. In the social model, disability happens when a person's environment doesn't cater for their individual characteristics. In the social model, we don't refer to people with a disability. Disability isn't something that I carry around like luggage. Instead, we use the word disabled as a verb. Disability is something that's being done to me. I'm actively being dis-abled by the society around me. When I go to a shopping mall, I don't struggle because there's something wrong with me, I struggle because the shopping mall is designed in a way that doesn't cater to my needs. If we started designing shopping malls that were quiet, dimly lit, predictable, and sparsely populated- well I'd still be autistic, but I might not be disabled by shopping malls anymore. Almost everything we know about autism stems from research that's based in medical assumptions and the medical paradigm. We spend hundreds of millions of dollars globally every year on autism research and the vast majority of that research conceptualises autism as a problem. Recently I conducted a study examining how autism research funding has been invested in Australia over the past 10 years. Here's what I found: more than 40% of funding went to genetic and biological research trying to find out why autistic people are the way we are and if there's a way to prevent it; another 20% of funding went to research investigating treatments for autism, most of which are trying to find new ways to make autistic people just act a bit less weird; only 7% of funding went to research investigating services to help autistic people. Why does this matter? Well around one in 50 people are autistic. About 60% of autistic adults are under or unemployed. 87% of us have mental illness. Autistic people are 9 times more likely than the general population to die by suicide. We have an average life expectancy of just 54 years. And we deserve better. In 2012 an autistic researcher named Dr Damian Milton proposed a new theory. He called it the double empathy problem and what he suggested was this: maybe autistic people don't actually have social deficits. Maybe we just get along better with other people who think like us. Maybe autistic people socialise better with other autistic people and non-autistic people socialise better with other non-autistic people. Maybe the difficulties that we see when autistic and non-autistic people try to socialise aren't because the autistic person has social deficits but because autistic and non-autistic people are both bad at communicating in ways that make sense to the other. Now to the autistic community this made perfect sense, but a lot of autism researchers weren’t so keen. I guess maybe they didn't like the idea that the whole history of autism research could be based on flawed assumptions. Luckily in the last couple of years, a handful of autism researchers have jumped on board with the double empathy problem and they've decided to test it scientifically. In one brand new study by Dr Kathryn Crompton from the University of Edinburgh, they did this using a task called a diffusion chain, which in Australia we know by the slightly politically incorrect name of Chinese Whispers. Now I'm sure you're all familiar with it. You whisper piece of information around a group of people one by one, and you try to keep it as accurate as possible. And if you’ve played it you know that the accuracy part is pretty hard. The first person will whisper a perfectly innocent sentence like “today I need to pay my rent and get new tires” but by the last person, “Donald Trump is president and the world’s on fire”. Well in Edinburgh they played that game with three groups of participants. The first group was all autistic people. The second group was all non-autistic or neurotypical people. And the 3rd group was a combination of autistic and neurotypical people. The researchers found that the all autistic and all neurotypical groups were equally accurate in their information sharing but the combined autistic and neurotypical group was significantly less accurate and less clear in their information sharing. That suggests that autistic and non-autistic people communicate equally well. It's the mismatch between those communication styles that causes the problems, exactly as the double empathy problem predicts. We need a paradigm shift in the way that we think about autism. We need to recognise that maybe “acting less weird” is not the best outcome for an autistic person. We need services and supports that will help us to live long, happy and fulfilling lives while respecting our right to be authentically autistic. And we need the kind of work that I do- research led by autistic people that answers the questions autistic people want answered. Because the earth is not flat, and I am not a tragedy. Thank you.
I wish everyone in the world could see this. You covered so much that is valuable! I LOVE your closing line! It brought me tears. I'm going to keep that in my heart to remember when people are unkind to me about being "different." Thank you!
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childand has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely
This has to be one of the best videos about autism I've ever seen. As an autistic person this is 100% spot on. I definitely agree that we are disabled by society and that it's easier to communicate with other autistic people rather than neurotypicals.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childand has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely
I once went to a group for autistic people to meet up and it was incredible. I instantly connected with people and we talked freely for hours. I had never felt that with neurotypical people before. Coincidently, many of my good friends are also autistic, some of whom were diagnosed after I knew them. I would love to meet more autistic people because they make me enjoy talking. I have never enjoyed interacting with neurotypical people, but its different with autistics. I'm not sure why, but I'm glad to know its an established phenomenon and not just some strange coincidence.
I love this so much. Every time I watch it. "I am not a tragedy." AMEN!!!!! There is some major paradigm shifts happening in psychology and being human in general and I love it. This presenter is part of that. Autistic people that are called "low functioning" aren't worse Autistics they have an environment that is worse for them and/or they have other things that are making it harder to deal with being Autistic in a world that isn't friendly to us. All the parents and professionals that refuse to accept this paradigm shift are actively participating in abuse of Autistic people. All the biological and genetic stuff that is aimed at eradicating us should be considered genocidal.
Recently diagnosed with autism at 42 years of age. My new therapist recommended this. Wow - totally inspired by this. It makes me happy to learn new things like this. Thanks!
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childand has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely
Dr. den Houting, thanks for your insightful video. My family has the MTHFR mutation with different levels of bipolar symptoms. There is also ADD/ADHD, ASD, Asperger's, and who knows what else. We are square pegs in a round-hole world, but we celebrate our ability to not think like the crowd. Family get-togethers are quite interesting, as the kids and grandkids are very entertaining. All are working or in school with some extremely high IQs. Congrats on your research!
Well done in coming forward and being active and giving voice to millions of people who have not had capacity and have been sidelined by governments and others. You are a true inspiration.
THANK YOU DR. I'm a dad of a beautiful handsome 11 year old autistic son. Such an amazing awesome young man. And you, are awesome as well for what you have achieved and who you are as an autistic person. Will save this post to show Alex in the next few years (Alex is 11). Richard from Tasmania Australia 🇦🇺
Research shows that psilocybin mushrooms have promising results for mental health support, particularly in reducing symptoms of depression, anxiety and PTSD.
Best video about Autism I've seen in the whole year! And I've doing a thorough research about the subject!! She points out my exact thinking: We autistic human amazing beings are not the problem but the paradigms of the current system are. And we should be more involved in the research and seeking for solutions for our inclusivity!
I just recently realized that I may be on the spectrum and felt a wave of relief and deep understanding about why my life has been the way it has, something I’ve never felt before. I remember about 10 years ago I was working for this company that placed respite providers in homes with children who had Autism. The first visit I had was with a little girl that upon first meeting me shocked her parents because I, a complete stranger, was the only person that she ever showed a liking for. Looking back now it makes sense, she could see me. I could also see her.
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I usually do my shopping right before shop closes. I know that it stresses out the employees, and I feel so guilty about it, but I have to buy food too, so... But because I'm autistic I do my shopping very quick and I buy it myself (in those places where you scan everything yourself) and I leave like 10 minutes before closing.
This is so beautiful 💕! My nephew is recently diagnosed with autism and I shared this video to his parents. This brings hope to us that he will find people in his life that he can connect to and have a life like anyone else.
I was diagnosed last summer and with the way she describes the way people with autism are treated when it comes to being different and I’m beginning to understand why there’s always been a sense of guilt for the way I am and how I behave around my peers
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childand has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely
The problem is she is making the point that autism isn't a disability, but another way of thinking. But there are plenty of people who are crippled by their autism, and we're not talking about being overstimulated in a grocery store. These kids need serious help, and if there's a way to prevent autism like this biologically, we most definitely want to find it.
@@Hydroxyium right on. I wish non-verbal autism was given a totally separate name. We only came up with this term in the last 60 years, like a factor analysis we need to tease out a distinction between these different levels like verbal, semi-verbal, non-verbal, non-verbal + intellectual impairment
Wonderful TedTalk! All my life I felt so perplexingly alone, would look on at people in wonder, at how effortlessly they are socializing, with little self-consciousness and I would wonder if they were acting. I had no clue I was autistic, was always told I was "quirky," or that I was different as a result of a "high IQ." If I had a nickel for every perplexed expression I've received every time I open my mouth I'd be a wealthy woman. I've only recently realized I'm autistic and am beginning to understand just how much autism affects EVERY SINGLE MOMENT of every day. From the sensory issues to anxiety/depression, isolation, suicidal ideation, etc. I'm understanding why I gravitated to landscape photography, which takes me out into the mountains & desert - quiet, gentle, largely predictable environments far from people, pollution and urban noise. I'm presently living in misery because I'm stuck in an urban environment due to personal circumstances and hate it with every fiber of my being. Cities were not built for autistics!
Amen, sister :) Hi Angel :) I was lucky to get out of the city and it have saved my life. Although it is a "hard" village life, it makes much more sense. It is still to noisy for me but I fight the loud crazy trucks passing by my house with louder music :) I spend most of the time "alone". Music and musicians (=people who love love love music) are my favorite company :) As much as I felt miserable and depressed and suicidal, I experience joy now to the level of physical "pain" and tears... I forgot I could feel that ecstatic :) Would like to jam with you :) Greetings to you from Czech republic
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childand has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely
I am spreading this far and wide!!!!! Want to stand on kitchen chair and blast this through the neighborhood I'm a nurse. Worked in neurology. Good for you for talking. Sooo important. Thank you, jxo
This is so good! I didn't want to pay for a test to see if I really am on the autism spectrum, but I have other neurodiverse things like ADHD and dyscalculia. I like this approach. I like the part about respect, because I've actually seen the other thing happen, where people are like, "they're just doing (insert bad/illegal thing here) because they're disabled/autistic" which is not fair at all. Everyone needs to respect everyone, which means we all need to learn to communicate in ways that we can, whether that's with technology, hand signs, words, or other things. That means autistic folks letting others know what works for them, and others respecting those boundaries and communicating within them.
This is so obviously the correct way to view neurodiversity! If two people speak different languages we don't say one is illiterate!
Excellent analogy! Thanks!
I love this analogy so freaking much
You do if neither of them can read or write.
@@xeniamundi7514
Autistic brains can do things nonautistic people are incapable of, so that must mean you're illiterate as well.
Just because someone can't read by an age you expect doesn't mean they'll never be able to read. Humanity is not artificial, nature never said "mankind, when you reach year 2 of human development you must be able to speak."
Why can't any of you ableists comprehend "diversity in neurological development" = "diversity in human development"?
Interesting theory. Some of the Austin people I know can not speak any language, just make loud noises.
I’m an autistic woman in America. I went to Japan recently and everything was quiet and clean and not lit with bright lights. Nobody made me small talk, and I wasn’t bothered by employees or servers. I actually enjoyed being in public there. I can back home and everything sucked again
I heard someone say they cried when they came back to LA from Japan for this exact reason. I can't imagine.
Omg, I just came from japan and felt the EXACT same way! Glad to know it wasn't just me. 😭
Is there other asian countries that are less expensive that can provide this comfort for ppl like us ?
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
This is fascinating. I resonate so much with Japanese culture. Now I want to take a trip there! Where should I go?
My biology teacher was autistic and he was the best teacher I ever had in my life .
Probably because he was enthusiastic about his subject, loved it and inspired you?
This is reassuring
((Most probably) autistic person, studying to be a teacher)
What was there name? I think we had the same teacher
@tommy 💩🥇💩 tommy wtf
My favorite actor is Autistic… Sir Anthony Hopkins!
It took me such a long time to acknowledge that my autism is not the problem, being forced to function a certain way in society is the real problem.
Having a daughter who has autism has been challenging because although I want her to be herself, I also need to teach her how to function in society. I do worry about her future and how her peers will treat her, so I do want to prepare her for society. Seeing these comments about parents not being the best to them is tough because I don’t want my daughter resenting me for just wanting to prepare her. I am on the spectrum as well btw..
I think a compromise between the neurodivergent and neurotypical is realistic. It’s not healthy to expect everyone else to change to my way of life. Each aspect can be negotiated. An anecdote of a small change that made a big difference is when my sister saw me tuck my legs up under my T-shirt to stay warm in a cold restaurant. She didn’t force me to conform, but reasoned with me that I was too old, 10 years old, to do that. “Look around, do you see any other people over the age of 5 doing that? I accept you either way, but it looks odd enough that you should bring sweats or something instead.” I might still be doing that at my age if she hadn’t pointed that out. I think we should encourage people to understand why a little compromise can go a long way, instead of demanding everyone else change. Taken to the extreme, it is borderline enabling dysfunction.
Me too!
@@tastedeez8Teaching her to "function in society" is still maybe not the right framing if you ask me, though it does depend more how you go about it. That idea though is generally what leads autistic people down a path of masking their autism instead of encouraging them to further develop the ways their autism may help them succeed, within a society that tends not to respect their differences. Rather than thinking, I need to teach them to fit society, a suggestion I'd have is teaching them the ways that society might make things difficult for them, and help them develop strategies to meet and overcome those challenges as they show up. Preparation like you alluded to. Work on empowerment versus trying to integrate into a system or ideas that simply will not work for them. I apologize in advance if my response is based on a misunderstanding of your comment and what it means for your thought process! But I don't mean this to be accusatory
@@realtalk4994 thank you for not being accusatory. I definitely agree with what you’re saying and I think that’s a good way to put it. For the most part, I do take your approach but there are some things where I feel like intervening is appropriate, not necessarily for “fitting in” but more so for her own safety. Growing up with autism myself, I feel like I can give her good advice if she’s willing to receive. Parenting is just hard..
I’m raising my 11 yr old granddaughter who has minimally verbal autism. Watching her struggle to be ok in a neurotypical world is heartbreaking. She’s the hardest working person I know. Did you know a minimally verbal person can have a sense of humor? Before Rory, I would have scoffed at this idea. She’s my hero and my biggest blessing. I’m a veterinarian. Rory works harder in one day than I did in 8 years of college. The most important things to do when interacting with autistic people are: BE KIND and GIVE THEM A BREAK! If they need to wear earplugs, sunglasses, bandaids, slippers, a goofy headband (ie: pinwheels on springs), a weird outfit and have an iPad in order to survive the grocery store, LET THEM! Showing my granddaughter how much I love her NO MATTER WHAT is my most important job.
I love this.
Thank you for understanding her needs!
you sound like the grandparent we all wish we had.
You’re an amazing grandmother ❤️
You make me miss my grandmother, she and her sister seemed to be the only family members who understood me and my odd needs and interests back when an autism diagnosis was extremely rare in the 1950's and 1960's. Her sister suggested alpine skiing - I am still at it as a way to just be. My grandmother got me interested in gardening, for me it is just so relaxing.
Have fun and give her loads of love❤❤❤
“I wasn’t a failed neurotypical person. I was a perfectly good autistic person.”
This made me burst into tears. Thank you Dr. Houting. I struggle with this every day 😢
We autistic are conceived and born failures.
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
"I'm not disabled by my autism, I'm disabled by my environment." 👏👏👏👏👏
Also...where can I get a shirt like that? 💙
I was wondering the same about the t shirt😃
Stop being a victim.
I found the shirt
@@ptsdchannel wtf??
really triggered me a lot, I hate the speech in the video, really triggered me
I’m someone with high functioning autism who has spent my entire life learning to mask as well as possible, no matter how much stress and exhaustion it causes me. Last week I saw someone on the train who was also on the spectrum. He was making noises of excitement and clapping, autistic behaviours I myself suppress the urge act upon. People were giving him strange looks, but he didn’t care, he was just happy. Seeing him so happy and just being himself brought me so much joy and comfort knowing he doesn’t have the stress of trying to perfect masking. I wish others didn’t see things like this as weird. We have different ways of showing emotions, but we still feel all of them.
You don't have to mask, too. Show the world how and who you really are. You are good the way you are. If someone doesn't like us, it's not our problem.
@@Flopsi80 So hard not mask though. I was diagnosed in grade 3 in 70s. They didn't know much about autism other than medical professionals checked a lot DSM criteria for behaviors. Their fix for that was beat me with a yard stick when ever I showed autistic traits and rewarded me candy for masking. It forced me to mask and feel great shame for being me. That's hard to get around.
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
@@chrismaxwell1624 Baby steps. A little bit at a time, you can gradually drop the mask. Think of the guy on the train mentioned above. It's OK to be like him. It's OK to be weird.
I'm sobbing because I just heard someone say what been in my head for a long time. I'm undiagnosed but fairly sure I am autistic and hearing this just made so much sense to me.
Im in the same boat 🧡
Have you been diagnosed yet?
I just went through something similar last month. You are in good company.
Ok
same here. sadly have my first negative diagnosis because i am too empatic. even though i can explain everything i used to come to my comclusion while everyone around me has no idea how they did it and i am the only one exhausted after the day in the clinic.... i will keep trying somewhere else
I'm an autistic 50 year old guy with an autistic son. I work as a Support Worker for mental health clients.... my brain just cried like a child after watching this. I've been saying the same thing for years now. This video confirmed my thoughts.
ditto
I'm pretty sure I'm undiagnosed autistic. I'm afraid of going to a psychiatrist because in my country, that would mean that I'm seeking a disability certificate. I'm afraid I'll be thrown out. I don't have great past experiences with medical professionals.
@@that_dam_baka what country?
@@AdamFlanagan India.
I'm 56 and I've struggled my entire life. I've got lots of these traits but I've never been diagnosed because doctors probably think that if you made it to 56 you must be ok. I feel extremely alone and I've had to use drugs and alcohol (alone) to cope with every day life. I've always been extremely awkward socially, I can only really cope with people on a one to one, crowds freak me out..I don't know what I'm trying to say, life really confuses me, but most people would never think about me being autistic, but I am 100percent certain that someone who knows what to look for would know straight away. I would love to be diagnosed because I'm going to die undiagnosed if I don't.
I grew up believing I was broken and have recently latched on the neurodiversity view... LIFE CHANGING! There are so many positives about the way I'm wired and I've learned to surround myself with people who can appreciate me the way I am. Yes there are difficulties, but I love my mind and am now teaching others to do the same.
Dear stranger, I appreciate your existence a lot. This is the right mindset. Have a good day. And life!
I'm 43 years old and was just diagnosed a year ago. I knew my entire life that I had a completely different thought process than most everyone else, being diagnosed answered SO many questions!
I'm still learning more about it & it's such a relief to know that I'm not the only one who gets annoyed by the things that most don't even pay attention to at all.
@@bigcountry425 48 here. You're definitely not the only who gets annoyed at different things, with you on that one ;)
when i was diagnosed i had no clue what it even was. the more research i did the more things about myself made sense.
How can it be though that most if not all of the myer briggs types similr to me I’m intp type 5 enneagram and some other types like introverts are this way and that’s a very big percentage maybe a quarter of world so can it be that such a big part of world is born with a disorder ? Something just makes no sense .in my family we are six and 4 out of the six act this way... You can read about behavior types on website personality hacker or see their videos on utube . Any personality type that’s unhealthy or not matured yet will Look like they have a little of a disorder or mental issue ! And since learning in depth about my type I’ve actually gotten rid of a lot of anxiety and learned some great tools . Beatrice chestnut is also a great option to learn about urself and which fears drive each person... I wouldn’t call myself autistic even though it’s very similr description .. just like I wouldn’t call someone ocd spectrum of they wash their hands two time more a day then the average person..
the double empathy problem is something i've experienced my entire life and i'm glad it's finally been researched. i don't have problems talking to people, i have problems talking to neurotypicals. they do not speak my language. all my friends are neurodiverse and i swear i have the deepest, most meaningful, loving, and beautiful relationships with these people, which transcends distance and time. it is extremely easy to strike up conversations with neurodiverse. i simply don't know if such relationships can exist between myself and a neurotypical. the language and communication is different, and i love the way my friends and i communicate. it's straight forward, to the point, honest, and loving. i wouldn't want it any other way
Heccin same, the world is so incomprehensibly frustrating.
Love this!!! Wish i coyld have friends like yours 🤗
What are the differences, you’d say?
Yeah, see that question was not specific or even complete, so that's why you didn't get an answer. What, specifically do you mean? In full. We hate open ended questions?
@@DaPoofDaPoofDaPoofDa (TLDR at the bottom)
I'm not diagnosed autistic but my brother is and I'm about 80% sure I am and currently looking into it, so not sure how much weight my word holds (I've got multiple other neurodivergent diagnoses) What I feel is the biggest difference between neurotypicals and neurodivergents is the subtleties and assumptions.
I have trouble understanding how someone feels or what they expect from me unless they tell me outright "I'm sad and need comforting." If someone is slumping and rubbing their head or speaking hesitantly or quietly, I'll think they're tired or not really think much of it at all. I notice the body language but I've only learned to associate certain behaviors with emotions by watching body language videos or tiral-and-error in social situations.
Another thing is people stopping their sentence to say "y'know?" or something similar. No, no I don't know. I have literally no clue what you mean unless you tell me what you mean.
A personal experiance of mine:
I don't know if you consider me a friend unless you directly say I'm your friend. I've known people and hung out with them for months and talk and eat lunch together daily and not realize that they actually like me as a person until they at some point declare me their friend. This still happens to me, just this Sunday I made a comment where I said "Imagine having friends," thinking I had no friends in that room, and this girl that I didn't consider a friend despite her coming over to my house multiple times, sharing memes with me, talking to me everytime she sees me, and platonically cuddling me, says "wow. I take offense." She was joking of course because she thought I was just being self-depreicating and joking, but it surprised me becuase it didn't hit me until that moment that we were friends. Even right now I'm still unsure honestly cuz she was laughing when she said that so I don't know if she was just doing that thing where people dramatically pretend they're bestest buds who are weirdly close to mess with the people around them...
This has happened to me with basically every single friend I have managed to keep to this day. I swear I'll learn my lesson each time it happens but it still creeps up on me every time.
TLDR: We don't get it unless you say it bluntly. No hinting at what you mean, no chuckling because you feel awkward saying something serious otherwise we'll think you're joking and nothing you're saying is actually real, no "oh I like your outfit today wink wink" because I'll just be like, yah I like it too pretty good for walmart stuff.
I was diagnosed with autism at the age of 43. I had the same experience of relief and realisation. 20+ years of clinical depression melted away.
Same here.
Me too. I finally felt like I found my 'people' after feeling like a confused outsider my whole life. Diagnosed at 38 and a female.
diagnosed at 50. and yes I get along a whole better with people 'like' me. I'm finally home!
Please tell me where/who you went to in order to get diagnosed. Was it just a psychologist? It's for my husband.
Abigail Kiel in some areas of the world it can take a while to get diagnosed. It starts with his normal psychologist who can give a general interview with autism in mind and if they think it is the direction to head in, they can give you a referral to a specialist in autism diagnoses. Then he must go through a series of testing procedures that are laid out by the Diagnostic Statistical Manual DSM5 (questionnaires) to see where he falls on the spectrum or if he does. It took me about a year from beginning to end to be fully diagnosed and to what aspect - type1,2,3 etc (as to find a path forward with learning strategies in coping living in a NT dominated world).
It doesn't stop just at a diagnosis. The diagnosis is really just the first step on a path of self regulation, reflection and learning to understand in yourself your unique traits you've been using to survive up until this point and possibly discovering even better traits and coping strategies.
I must say, it can be a bumpy ride.
I had 4 psychologists before my current one, who all diagnosed incorrect afflictions in me. None of these diagnoses exactly fit, but they were happy to slap on a label and cramm a new drug down my throat to deal with it. I had trusted their expertise and took medications that didn't work before eventually quitting all meds and realizing I wasn't sick. I was just different thinking. All the best with your journey.
I didn't have a permanent full-time job until I was 34 because I went undiagnosed until about age 30. I just fell through the cracks until then. The hardest part was the shame I felt through my 20s. Autism affected employment because it was hard to find a career field that was a good fit. Only after I got professional guidance I found something that fit. I hope that all autistic people can find the guidance they need as soon as possible and get jobs that fit, I hope they don't struggle and suffer.
What career was a good fit for you?
@@Mindyourlanguagedear Dental lab seemed to be a good fit 🙂
Employment was always eventually impossible. Self-employment was best for me. I could work when I was able and as i was able.
I’m 26 and struggling to find employment. Nothing seems to work :/. I want to do non- for profit jobs helping trans people.
@@straberryshinigami15g97I hope you realize your dream!
I am 74 and my brother is 75.We grew up in England, I have always been and still am very close to him. I always felt that he was ' different', sometimes I felt sorry for him cos he had a problem with socialising, he doesn't have ' small talk' and can't relate to people when he meets them for the first time. He was diagnosed at 60 with Asperger's. He has always worked in lots of different jobs, always with good results. He was never scared of losing his job and always did things his way, no matter what other people said, he did what he found was correct. Yes, he is weird sometimes but the weider he is the more I love him!
Better late than never. I'm glad he finally got diagnosed. That's good he didn't struggle with jobs too much.
Idiosyncratic… unique, talented, neurodiverse. Another human.
Lots of ways to be wyrd.
I worked with 2000 odd people. And I mean odd people. We all had our unique aspects of ASD, ADHD, etc. It made for challenging communications at times, but it was a place of high creativity, fine craftsmanship and brilliant thought.
This is me! At 61 finally understood and I totally accept all of me...100 careers and all😂
I know it may seem like a small thing, but props to them for doing this barefoot. It's an act of radical self-love for autistics to choose comfort over conforming
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
My son is autistic and he loves to wear his clothes a much larger size. And his shoes are always too big. But I had to train myself not to complain. He goes to work everyday and is quite functional. He did not speak a word until he was 4 yrs old. God is good and his mercy endureth forever.
Essentially it's a culture clash.
People used to ask me if I found it difficult living in Japan because the culture there must be "so different".
But I would always be like, Japanese culture is no more alien to me than living among all you NTs all my life!
For me the more alien the better because i can focus on the differences instead of being limited by the similarities
In some ways being a traveller is easier for us because we get excused for being a little bit off of the social norms because we're foreign.
For a second I thought you meant NT's in the MBTI sense, and was very confused about why an autistic person would be bothered by xNTx personality types.
@@Kendorable I feel like a lot of xNTx types ARE autistic. Are xNFxs too. I've yet to see a sensor on one of these comment sections.
~Xntp
@@that_dam_baka I believe it! I border between INFJ and INTJ (literally 50/50, 49/51 or 51/49 between F and T anytime I retake the test).
My son was diagnosed with autism at the age of five. He is now 43 and has taught me a great more about himself than I could ever teach him about himself. He is an amazing guy. Thanks for this message I am going to share with others.
Can we exchange contact info?
@Wesley Hinson now y would u troll on this...u couldn't be anymore of a bottom feeder than u are now...u should be proud
I’m sharing this as well! What a refreshing view! So helpful for any of us! I work with autistic highschoolers, currently with two boys…
Many parents have disabled kids. But they never wave their kids disability as badge of honor. If the sons is autistic but has a profession, works, can lives normal life, passion, has achieved something despite this huge obstacle of autism then show him as an example. If not juts make sure he is healthy and happy as much as he can be. I may sound as troll, but the world was not made for people with any disabilities. The people with disabilities had to adjust to the world not other way around.
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
To people who like to vent about how much your autistic children, students, or patients drive you insane and make you miserable: You have NO idea how much anxiety, frustration, self-loathing, loneliness, and sadness many of us have to go through nearly every single day, partially because of how you talk about us when we aren’t around. Believe it or not, most of us on the spectrum are fully aware of how much of a “handful” we can be for you, and we feel deeply ashamed and guilty as a result. We care about your hardship and suffering as much as you care about ours (the people who claim we are generally incapable of empathy or feeling the pain of others are full of s%;t). If we could stop doing the things that stress you out so much, we absolutely would. But just like a man with severe paralysis can’t simply get off his wheelchair to lessen the burden of those taking care of him, we simply cannot “stop being autistic” as much as we would love to make things much easier for you. If it’s wrong to complain about having to look after someone with physical disabilities, then it’s also wrong to complain about caring for people with developmental disabilities as if you are the true victim. Yes you are dealing with A LOT, you are being pushed to your limits, your patience and resilience is being out to the test; but if you truly and genuinely care about us and not want us to feel like worthless parasites, then stop talking about us as if we are a constant source of pain and stress and headaches. We may not be there when you talk about us like that, but we can hear you. And it not only hurts us A LOT, but it completely contradicts you telling us that we are “fully loved and embraced for who we are” and are “not a burden in the slightest.”
Thank you so much for saying this!
❤
This is one of the best comments I’ve read and says what I’d like to say to those around me. Thank you so much. Apologies but I’ve nicked this via a screenshot
I hear you. My Mom used to talk about me to everyone in her family and always call me BAD...it hurt me very much and I never felt comfortable around them or at Christmas or any family function...and now as a Mom with an autistic son and 4 kids total. It's so stressful. I do complain about my son sometimes because I am so overwhelmed and need to express myself....
This right here!!! ❤❤❤
I love how they rolled up to a ted talk barefoot😂 truly not giving a damn about normal. I have so much respect for them
Quite possibly a sensory need. I feel that
a lot of live performers do this. and if you're always 'performing' for NT's it's like an artistic statement really
Them
@@xandranicholai7301 woops. Sorted👍
@@tugger you might even call it an autistic statement (ba dum tsh)
Damn, the rage I felt in their eyes when they said “we deserve better”. Right on. My college major was filled with people on the spectrum. It was a creative major in an engineering school. Even the professors themselves were seemingly on the spectrum. It was the most healthy social life I’ve ever had in my whole life. I felt like I belonged and although I masked, I didn’t have to mask too much. I always wondered why our cafeterias were so quiet. I was deeply hyposensitive at the time because I had complex trauma. I think back and realized I was in the perfect place and didn’t even know how perfect. The autistic community is helping me understand my sensory needs... like I don’t know why my head hurts until I learned to dim the lights. I didn’t know why I felt so frazzled until I started wearing noise cancelling headphones. I thought I was the only one who abhorred subway rides and cried everyday on my way to work only to find out I am completely valid and not alone. I fantasized that I’d find my tribe in the outskirts of Austin or in Colorado... maybe Hawaii.. I don’t know. Little did I know, my tribe is everywhere and we cope on the internet a lot.
Did you know that you can save over 20% on car insurance with gieco
Maybe social media help minimize the common social deficits autistic people face.
@@FunFilmFare Social media is meant to make people depressed and hate their lives.
@@FunFilmFare Sorry, I had more to say. Not only is it meant to make people hate their lives, it promotes all of the male and female stereotypes.
@@sammythefox1057
Social media has been a great tool, it wasn't designed to make people hate their lives, those who have used it wisely and for the correct purpose have found it beneficial, especially autistic people.
Social media allows autistic people to be in a suitable environment and not just communicate with people, but communicate with other autistic people who they can relate to more.
It gives them more time to think how to respond.
They are not so distracted by body language and social cues.
There's much less anxiety for them.
I'm autistic myself and a member of multiple autism communities, the autistic people both comfort each other and help parents understand their autistic children.
Hearing "it brought me an overwhelming sense of relief"..."I wasn't a failed neurotypical person..I was a perfectly good autistic person" hit so hard I just cried. Not sure I even want a diagnosis now that I'm over 30. So many jobs and friends..struggles with relationships, my marriage at this point in life, and now taking care of my toddler. At this point, I'm excited to meet others so I don't feel so alone anymore. 🤗💞
You cannot claim you have ASD if you do not have a diagnosis. Joining the ASD club is not a cure for loneliness. There's counselling for that.
@@xeniamundi7514 That's not true. Self-diagnosis is valid. This is especially the case considering how immensely difficult it is to find a professional who is trained in understanding how Autism manifests in adults, and especially in adults who are women and have learned how to mask. Also, professional diagnosis is expensive and often has a waiting list of months to years. Also, due to stigma and outdated disability-centered beliefs, as explained in this video, sometimes an official diagnosis can create walls instead of opportunity. Why get a diagnosis if you don't need to ask for supports from work or school? But less practically, why would someone 'claim' to be Autistic just to have friends if they're neurotypical? By nature of the Double Empathy Problem, they wouldn't feel comfortable or have any fun. Since neurotypical people are wired to be more comfortable in neurotypical social dynamics, a 'lonely' neurotypical person would just join a book club or volleyball league-- they have lots of options & wouldn't artificially shoehorn themselves into a neurodivergent dynamic. A self-diagnosed Autistic person would find acceptance, validation, and solace in a neurodivergent social situation... why would anyone deny them that? No one I have encountered has denied me and I feel grateful for that. @Lindsey4190, I embrace your realization that you're Autistic-- I'm just one person, but it's good enough for me! :)
I empathize with your self-diagnosis. I am also not “officially” diagnosed as being Autistic or having an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) but the years that I was in college along with my Personal Research on the topic of Aspergers, the symptoms of what an Autism Spectrum Disorder can look like, and “Autism in Women” has really lead me to the Self-Diagnosis of having Aspergers/Autism (ASD).
[ just a note about why I put Officially in Quotation marks is because I have had an ADOS assessment to see if I have an Autism Spectrum Disorder and another assessment to test if I have any thing else such as what would be considered a subsequent Mental/Social/Personality Disorder which came back “Inconclusive for an Autism Spectrum Disorder” that’s just some background information (which no one really asked for but I thought I might mention this just to make everything that I wrote was as clear as possible.)
If you ever do need to assert your rights legally, such as for employment discrimination, not already having a medical diagnosis can make that a good bit more difficult to win. IANAL, have won a settlement for discrimination once though.
@Woodchipper Worshipper Did….you just compare Autistic people to animals, and insinuate we’re not as smart as other people?
I'm an autistic woman who turns 55 years old tomorrow. I received my genetic diagnosis in 2014 as ARX-linked autism thru Riley Children's hospital Indianapolis. I'm also a mum to three amazing & beautiful autistic sons. Thank you for saying this & all you do! ☮️💜🦄🦊
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I'm pretty sure both my dad and my sister have autism, but neither one has ever been diagnosed. My dad is a family physician and has been bullied his entire career by the doctors he works with. He has always just seen himself as a failure and hated going to work every day for 20 years! He recently retired, and my siblings and I are learning more about how hard it was for him. I wish he had been able to get diagnosed, so that he could see that he's not a failure, he just communicates differently from others. He's a very empathetic doctor, and really does care for each of his patients. I have seen him give free medial care to people who couldn't afford going in to see a doctor. He's never out to get the glory, he's simply just trying to serve those around him. Unfortunately, the medical field doesn't allow much room for people like him.
@Azim Premji you completely did not watch the video nor do you understand autism at all.
@@emmie2129 its spam which needs reporting
Your father sounds like a hero. You must be so so proud of him! 🤩
He sounds like a great person and I hope people will treat him the way he deserves to be treated
@Azim Premji shame, shame on you
As a person on the spectrum who was diagnosed with autism while getting a PhD (social cognition), I am with you 100% in framing disability as a P-E fit issue. (Person-Environment) I had great career until things changed in my environment. It was then that I came out to HR, hoping to change things in the environment and reclaim my status as an award-winning college professor. Instead, after finding out my condition, I was hounded out. It never seemed to occur to them that the same person who'd been invited to lecture at Oxford that year could probably continue to do that research at that college with just a little goodwill, and, ironically, empathy.
I'm sorry that happened to you.
So disheartening 💔
That's their fault.
sorry that happened to you… it helps me to work at night…
Much like me and my time with the Air Force. If they had just accommodated my request to be with my family during my son’s birth (just a delay for 2 weeks for a static rotation, no mission urgency) they would still have me. And yes, some Aspies serve, and we’d gladly do it should the need arise.
Brilliant. We need more people like you talking about nuerodivergence and increasing awareness overall.
"I am not a tragedy" was a powerful, moving statement.
Yeah, I always feel that, when I read there is an increased "risk" of babies turning out to be like me..
Autism is only a problem because neurotypicals said so. Neurotypicals are as good as their word and their word is no good.
This is the kind of education society and the medical field need so badly
And what about the millions of others who are not high functioning who live very limited lives. I see her as self centered and ignoring that others suffer due to autism.
@@edwinamendelssohn5129 Ableism alert!
@@edwinamendelssohn5129 If you're not ableist, then why was your previous comment gone?
@@filipeflower that's RUclips, not me.
@@edwinamendelssohn5129 Serves you right. If you hadn't written anything ableist in your comment, RUclips wouldn't delete it. Simple.
I don't want a cure. Autism is me. I am Autism. My Autism is my artistry.
Of course. There's nothing wrong with you. Wouldn't it'd be nice to cure the prejudice that we have to negotiate though.
I’m just looking for an argument your brother isn’t frustrated with you, he’s frustrated within himself. Calm the anger and you’ll be half way there
Nice
Different =/= wrong
@@CNI2063
I spell things out to people like this;
Me: What makes you think my Autism is a disability?
NT: Because Autism causes you difficulties and makes you struggle.
Me: Hmm, maybe you haven't realised, you're disabled too!
NT: How am I disabled, what disability do I have?
Me: Well every human being has difficulties and struggle at various situations, so humanity must be a disability.
NT: But you need support with your difficulties.
Me: When you struggle you need support don't you?
So what's the difference?
Then they're speechless.
Many people like those of us with Autism have encouraged doctors to pay less attention on weaknesses and more on the positive differences.
Autism is not a death sentence. You can be autistic and live a long happy life. The number of people that told me how sorry they were after my son's diagnosis was crazy. I wasn't sad. I didn't need sympathy. My son may have some social deficits, but he's still my son. He's still a happy, brilliant little boy. So he doesn't have tons of friends, its okay. He doesn't want a lot of friends he likes having a small close knit group. He'll never be voted most popular, but he'll always be perfect as he is.
@The Rockall Times are neurotypicals perfect?
The Rockall Times yes, the word means ‘fine as it is’ try using a dictionary, you will sound more intelligent
So he likes having a small close knit group ok, but can you tell us more about autism? Because speaker failed to provide any info for people not familiar with autism in real life situations, how is it like? I have no doubt and already share a view of speaker, but tell us more about how to communicate with autistic people, something practical, something i can use!!!
Traci K - that's pretty rude
Bunny a rude response to a rude person
What I took from this is that we should all think about autism as an effect (not defect) that causes a different way of thinking (not a wrong way of thinking), that we should respect people who have it and try to understand them. I know a lot of autistic people who function well in society and a lot of not autistic people who don't function well in society. It may be that the average autistic person functions well less than your average person but that might be a society issue. It's hard to put your talents to good use when you're constantly being put down by society. A lot of autistic people have a beautiful mind and just never get a chance.
Absolutely, as I mentioned in my comment, neurotypical people view us in an ethnocentric manner and when we don't do as they expect, they often interpret our difference as negative, and their interpretations may have little to do with what we are actually attempting to do in our communications.
@@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS I agree. My son is 9, diagnosed at 2. He has a habit of saying things that, if they were to come from an NT person, they automatically assume he's trying to act like a smart aleck, when in reality, he means to be serious!
And Melee, I couldn't agree more
Lan Yonson 🙂🤟
Imagine a autistic person was president of the USA. They would tell the people the truth everyday, having there health and wealth at heart, and do what right for everybody.
Where would the likes of newton Einstein Elon musk Steve jobs bill gates be if people were afraid to think different from the sheep
9:45 my marriage to another autistic is 💯 easier than my ex-es who were not autistic.
My wife and I literally understand each other and give a lot of grace.
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
"being actively disabled by my environment" YES!
@Scott Whatever but it does change who to blame
@Scott Whatever i mean sure, bull hockey does sound like a good scapegoat 😂
@@cl-itry8582 I mean you don't know so I mean sure you don't understand!
@@kwahujakquai6726 i genuinely can't understand if you're assuming that i do or don't have autism, could you please rephrase what you said
@@cl-itry8582 Why are you looking to blame someone? No one is to blame for a neurlogical condition.
"I'm not disabled by my autism; I'm disabled by my environment." Well said, and food for thought.
Environments don't disable people... they present additional challenges 😉
@@SpectreOZ What about when those challenges exceed someone's ability to deal with them alone, smart guy?
@@LightbringerDesigns Environments don't disable people, environments can be altered, gamed or worked around, physical abilities will always be the deciding factor 😉
@@SpectreOZ pretty much even if acomidations were still there as an autistic myself id still be disabled by sesory overload from things like lights and noise id still be disbilitated by my meltdowns there for we would still be disabled even if society made the acomidations wich is why its a disability
@@PixelTheExtraTerrestrial A matter of perspective, you are you and that cannot be changed, coping skills can be learnt/employed and altered patterns of interacting with society are up to the individual, shop early or much later when there are less people (and associated ruckus), check different locations for the least triggering, this is one reason people choose to work from home when able for just one example.
“I’m not disabled by my autism , I’m disabled by my environment “ so well put
Delusion at it finest. It does not promote independence for disabled people, but rather enforces wishful thinking the world needs to revolt around you.
My youngest is autistic and she's the best person in my life. The more I research autism, the more my past makes so much sense.
She has so many sensory issues but we battle through it together.
Thank you so very much for this lecture.
@Jimmy Clark how can I contact him
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I was diagnosed with autism about a year ago. As I learned more about myself and my autism, I claimed the word disabled. My parents hate that I do that, they mean to say that I am not disabled and that I can function fine in the world around me. But they forget that I'm masking, I'm constantly acting the way a neurotypical society wants me to. And it's exhausting! I wish I had found this sooner. For a long time, I'd been going off the medical model of being disabled, and it sucked. A lot. I could see the things around me, that wasn't made for me. But this has helped me see things in a new light. Thank you. -A young autistic man
I’ve stopped my masking. Finally understand myself enough now to do so. And it’s wonderful. I’m so happy to be my ASD wonderful self openly. There are ways to do this safely and I hope you discover what works for you.
Yea my family doesn’t like when I refer to myself as disabled either , especially bc my mom works with autistic children who have higher needs than I / “low functioning “ so she compares their autism to mine
My son has Asperger's and also has depression. I know the suicide rate among Autistics but when it's mentioned, it brought tears to my eyes because it shouldn't be that way.
I found out I was Aspie at the age of 44 when my son was diagnosed, I would make a few simple observations for your son in the hope that it may help him.
1.) He is not disabled, he is not broken, he is simply different.
2.) Society treats autistic people very badly, but it is getting better.
3.) As an Aspie, he has gifts, use them, maximise them and don't worry what neurotypical normal think.
4.) Science increasingly believes that those like him are the next evolution of human beings, because we are better adapted to a science and fact based world than a social one. so mother nature has tilted our balance in favour of abilities useful in a technological society.
5.) I would never give up being who I am to be normal, because that would mean being common, boring and normal. Why would I want that when I am gifted, stupidly smart and understand things in a way that very, very few people ever can.
6.) Being an Aspie is like having superpowers, but it does like all superpowers have it's drawbacks.
7.) Try and spend time with other Aspies, talk with them, make friends with them, because you won't find the hard work like normal people. We are a lot more common than most people think.
8.) Spend time around animals, they are so much nicer than people and their is no BS.
9.) Remember that society, school etc will try and judge him on his monkey like abilities, when he's not a monkey, he's a fish. If you judge a fish by it's ability at climbing tree's it will always fail. Perspective is key.
Cat i have aspergers also, your son is not alone, we aspies are a community of our own and we will help each other
I agree with what Duncan said you’re son is just different and there’s nothing wrong with that
Believe me I know what’s it’s like to be wired differently because I have autism
@@ts757arse Indeed, for me one of the funny things is my best mate. We first met each other around age 18 and instantly clicked, over 30 years later I've found out I'm Aspie and he's found out he's ASD, he has two autistic daughters, I have an Aspie son and they get on like a house on fire, zero awkwardness between them. He is probably the only person I talk to regularly where I do not have to apply any filters to what I say and we've both helped each other a lot in life. Just being able to talk through stuff with him and let the valves containing a lot of stuff blow and vent makes a massive difference.
@@ts757arse and then people are bent, broken, and fit into a category, but none of the categories fit, so then people keep being bent and broken over and over
When I discovered I am autistic the relief was huge.
Suddenly I understood my life and why I think the way I do.
Prior to this I thought I was cursed by God for something I had done in a previous life.
In school I was bullied mercilessly by students and teachers and my grades suffered.
And when I was 18 I began to develop schizophrenia.
I've also had depression since age 15.
Aside from that I'm fine.
(As you can see I have retained my sense of humour).
And for the record I am proud to be autistic, we are very special in world which doesn't have the wisdom to appreciate us yet.
beautifully said, especially the last part
Same experience here upon finding out. I didn't have the same history as you but the experience of having a sense of relief was the same.
Are you still struggling with depression? If so, I hope Jesus makes you feel better
-Sincerely, a fellow autist
seems like you were cursed by some religious cult, but no worries - you're not alone
I share that feeling. Life was extremely hard for me until I realized that neurotypicals are not gods. They are just people. They don't control us and we shouldn't let them. Be proud of being aspie. We are special in a different way than normies think is "special." We can actually control our emotions. I think that is a gift.
I’m amazed she managed to present such an amazing talk with that countdown clock flashing at her the whole time! I’m autistic and I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate with that flashing. Brilliant talk btw. Love the double empathy model. I now have a new special interest to deep dive in 🥰
I agree, that clock looked really distracting. I wonder why was it flashing?
*they. they use they/them pronouns.
@@limdingwen At Ted talks, it starts flashing when you only have a few minutes left, to remind the speaker that it is time to wrap up. I would find it so distracting that I would stop talking as soon as the flashing started.
@@straberryshinigami15g97nobody cares. Touch some grass.
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
When I was diagnosed with autism, I felt a great sense of relief and joy.
How did you feel when you discovered we were lied to about the Earth being a ball?
@@sofiasmallstorm7457 I was never lied to about the Earth being a ball, I knew that from when I was in Grade Two. I also learnt that the sun doesn't rise, the Earth rotates around it, hence Japan is one hour behind Australian Eastern Standard Time, and Britain is ten hours behind Australian Eastern Standard Time. Gravity is what holds us on earth and that is what makes it appear flat. When I was in Year Four, we learnt a song and the lyrics were, "Well, the Earth is so large, that each little part appears to be quite flat, We won't fall off due to a simple fact.... Gravity, gravity, is what we call that force."
@@peterwynn2169 The Earth is not a spinning ball. The Sun is more localized and much smaller.
@@sofiasmallstorm7457 Good grief, you actually believe that? Really? Wow
@@peterwynn2169 Gravity is just an unprovable theory. It's also an excuse for the ball lie, which makes no sense, with Oceans and Clouds floating. Nor Satellites, which "float" above, yet the moon is in a Gravity lock !? It's laughable once you start to analyze the lies.
2:45 Compared to neurotypical people, we have deficits. But the things we lack are simply not necessary when we communicate with each other. So they are only deficits from a neurotypical perspective.
a quote by Steve Silberman: “By autistic standards, the “normal” brain is easily distractible, is obsessively social, and suffers from a deficit of attention to detail and routine."
@@drzeworyj But not focusing on a single task too much is what kept us alive in the past, because we had to be able to quickly identify all threats surrounding us and do many different tasks. In our current society, where we are relatively safe and can focus on one specialized task, being autistic can be beneficial, but the neurotypical people have their benefits too. We should accept both types of thinking, because both are needed to survive and to evolve.
@Jim Dawson Exactly! I've thought this too. People are willing to surgically alter appearance just to compete with other men or women. They sometimes cheat, lie, and use drugs just to prove to others (and themselves) that they are socially-superior. On the flipside too, however, it can also guide people into the right direction with love and support. I do also think it is preposterous to believe neurotypical people are superior in general... just because a cognitive type is common does not make it "better" objectively.
Indeed, my best mate is ASD, I am Aspie and we have zero issues, just total honesty and many, many laughs.
Neurotypical people have plenty of deficits, it's just that society has been designed to accept, even support those deficits and make them useful.
You need the neurotypical people to make up for the deficits in the autistic people, and you need the autistic people to make up for the deficits in the neurotypicals. Yin and Yan.
Oh and autistic people aren't "awkward" either, they're just different - you fear what you do not understand and you hate what you fear.
This touches me so deeply, because to me my son is perfect and I live in the quirks that make him who he is. His sustained innocent joys, the exuberant way he expresses them. I want this world to be perfect for him not the other way around. Thank you so much for this and all you are doing to make this dream a reality.
@Jimmy Clark I am glad you found something that worked for you. I did speech therapy for / with my boys. It has worked very well. I also learned signs that I taught them. Also music has made an amazing difference. It takes time, patience, and enthusiasm for their success no matter how small.
"Just like biodiversity helps to create a healthy and sustainable physical environment, neurodiversity can help to create a heslthy and sustainable cognitive environment." I love that quote
Completely agree, my child is much more happier letting him he who is than trying to mold him as school or society regards as proper behavior.
As long as your child isn't behaving like an annoying brat with your pernission
@@martinheath5947 ironically my husband is the brat and my child is the best behaved
A good mom wouldn’t want a bad behaved child.
@@pumamountainlion7777 then I think I am not a good mom, if that's all a good mom should want
Minerva Sanchez You are a good mom. Just because someone says otherwise does not mean it's true. But I'm sure you already know this. 🙂 💜 Sorry for my english.
65 y.o diagnosed last year...so happy to finally relax into my real self ...
Congrats Judith - I did it at 59 :)
Would you be willing to chat privately? I feel this is me and I need to talk to someone
‘relax in my real self’ I’m so happy for you!!! 💐
63 for me. Just last week in fact. A huge euphoric relief at first. Now I'm wondering what it means for the rest of my life.
Looking for a community. I know you're out there,❤
That does make sense. I tend to gravitate towards other autistic people, even if neither of us knows the other is autistic.
I'm friendly with non-autistics, but the friendships don't usually stick. I'm usually good friends with folks that are autistic, or that I wouldn't be surprised if they got an autism diagnosis in the future.
Non autistics just seem so... Aloof. So.... Superficial and emotionless.
Like, when us autistics are happy, we are enthusiastically happy! You can see it in wiggles or flapping or loud exclamations.
Non-autistics also don't seem to go as deeply into things as we do. Have you practically memorized a book or movie? Do you research and analyze your favorite subject for fun?
Also, non-autistics have dulled senses. Especially smell. Y'all can't smell a darned thing. The outdoors in spring and summer smell awesome by the way. Aaaand if I pass you on the street, I can tell if you showered within the last hour or so, because you reek of soap.
Asura Heterodyne sounds like you think non autistic folks should be categorized as well as viewed all the same?
@@LinYouToo Not at all. I'm simply saying what I have observed from my autism and others... It was exaggerated for comedic effect. I was mostly trying to reverse the usual pattern of "autistics are weird and can't do anything" to "allistics are weird and can't do anything".
Pardon me if it came off as offensive towards fellow autistics. That was not my intent. I was intending to be offensive to allistics for comedic effect.
Hi Asura, Yeah most people are spending a large amount of their time avoiding emotions where as autistic people have no choice as they have so much emotion. lol I have a friend who has autism and she often says she smells and I tell her I can't smell her at all which gives her relief :) Though I have a heightened sense of sound I take in vast amounts of information from sound that most people including my autistic friend block out in fact she is really good at selecting sounds she blocks out.
@Jane Smith I agree with you. For me, Asperger's in other people seems to be only a hinder for communication. Imagine this situation:
Two shy aspies who have never talked to each other end up sitting beside each other on a lesson. One of them is a serious need for a pen. He wants to ask for a pen from the other person, who he has realized that is an aspie too. That realizement doesn't make asking for the pen any easier, just the opposite. After a minute or so he gets the words out, stuttering, and receives the pen.
If the other person was an NT, the process would have been significantly less painful. I don't understand the double empathy theory.
@@aldenheterodyne2833 lol. It was very funny. Perhaps only those truly autistic will get it.
My daughter is non verbal Autistic and I wouldn't change her for the world she's fun ,exciting ,creative it's and journey and a path I'm on her with 100% and learn from her everyday and I couldn't be more proud of the person she is and the milestones she's accomplished
Your daughter is lucky to have such a great parent
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
WE DESERVE BETTER 💔🙏🍀
the social/medical paradigm also applies to physical disabilities
people who needed glasses were all disabled before glasses were made, and anyone without access to glasses they need is currently disabled to some degree
same thing for those in wheelchairs, if things were always accessible to us (lower shelves, curb cuts, ramps, elevators, etc.) we wouldn't be disabled
YES. When people pity me for using a mobility aid I'm like, do you want to be pitied for wearing glasses?
But what if you didn't have a wheelchair?
Yeah but we ARE dis-abled in those areas. We Aspies and Autistics don't have to lie to ourselves, or demand they build a "ramp" for us. I'm sure if we solve the problem for ourselves, we'll do something like design a way to never need to "climb the stairs" the way the NT's do in the first place. For me, I can love myself and admit my disabilities without the need to raise a fuss and demand change. I'm not going to pound someone into accepting me and solving for me. I'm disabled in some ways. So what? The question you should ask is are you going to stick around long enough to see what I can do better than most?
obviously, but those communities can speak on their own behalf. The deaf community, for instance, is VERY VERY vocal. No need to hijack the conversation to focus on other 'disabilities' (i.e. it happens to us tooooooo! look at meee!). This is an autism-specific conversation, leave it at that. Thanks.
@@Sarah.R.R My apologies! I was not attempting to highjack the conversation and whine about "wahh we have this too"
what I meant to say was that it was interesting that we share similar experiences, and I just wanted to point it out.
I am sorry it came off as derailing and not as an addition to the conversation
i was misdiagnosed with bipolar, depression, a.d.d., a.d.h.d. and o.c.d. and tried every medication out there-they all made me feel horrible. when i was 50, my psychiatrist (i was going because i wanted help) finally tested me and told me i had aspergers-that explained EVERYTHING-mostly why i never have felt like i fit in anywhere
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I absolutely love this ted talk. I love the talk about different understanding of disability. Just because we don't function how society "says we should" doesn't mean there is a problem with us. The social model of disability makes so much sense.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childand has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely
Thank you for doing this research. I was trying to explain how people who are not autistic interpret our behavior in an ethnocentric way to my therapist using a recent example from the life of an autistic friend of mine. My neurotypical therapist characteristically characterized my friend's behavior as insensitive when actually it was the neurotypical person who was inferring that my friend's comments about herself were comments about the neurotypical person. My friend not understanding that someone would illogically flip comments about herself, which were full of integrity (from an autistic point of view), means she was innocently unaware that that's what neurotypical people often do: they flip the script and assume insult. My autistic friend wasn't insensitive. She's one of the most delightful and caring people I know. She shows concern for other people's feelings all the time.
Given that I'd introduced the example with, "neurotypical people interpret autistic behavior ethnocentrically," you'd think my therapist, being a skilled communicator, might have some insight into how her interjections about insensitivity were received. She did not. She was as clueless as to what I was attempting to explain as autistic people seem to be to people who are not autistic. And worse, I think my therapist missed the point entirely: often, the words neurotypical people use to describe autistic people are negative. They often miss how authentic, how caring, and how full of integrity many autistic people are. Yes, double empathy is one of the problems when it comes to communications between autistic and non-autistic people. (Another is how neurotypical people expect we'll read their minds when in reality they have misunderstandings between themselves all the time as a result of the indirect language they employ.)
(When I said "illogically" above, that was not a judgment about neurotypical people. It was a description of how logical my friend is in her approach to her world and others. Before I was diagnosed, the therapist who diagnosed me would periodically make comments about my use of logic--e.g., "You're incredibly rational and you expect others to be as rational as you. People are not as rational as you think they ought to be, and it's irrational to expect that of them." Trying to predict where neurotypical people deviate from logic is not easy. Knowing that they read into things doesn't help because I have no control over what they read into direct communications. Communications are dynamic. It's not like we can carry around scripts to predict how neurotypical people might respond in any given situation.)
Well said. Thank you.
Yes! The funny generalized medical diagnostic criteria that ND people are "poor communicators" is highly inaccurate. It should instead say ND people are poor at predicting NT arbitrary insinuations and reversible context, just as it could be said NT people are as equally unable to interpret the logical and highly accurate (literal) communication style of an autist.
All types of humans seem to have issues with communication, but only autistic communication is attacked as being poor.
If the world was only autistic, no one would take things out of context, everything would be understood and communicated as its exact literal meaning. Way less confusing! 🤪
@@JAMQWERT Yes you are right about only autistic communication being attacked. The thing is autistic people are constantly aware of everything they are doing to fit in so are always trying to read other people and just make mistakes in interpretation. Where as NT's are almost totally unaware of what the differences are. If us NT's where so much more able we wouldn't be looking at autistic responses or behaviour as having anything wrong. That is up to where there are those that are incapacitated by autism and cant function for themselves then it becomes extremely hard to communicate.
" skilled communicator" seems to be way below average persons skills when it comes to reading me
If the world was only autistic the world would be a so much easier place, no one would need to waste stress trying to interpret or second-guess the meanings of others, rules would be clear, and things would get done so much more efficiently.
Dr. Houting, you are a blessing! As a 33 year old on the spectrum, you’ve helped me look past being disabled and view my autism differently. Thank you for all you do.
I'm a 29 year old woman, diagnosed two years ago. Brought me a sense of relief as well. My whole life also made sense. Relate to you 100%. The first general perspective has really put my head in a spin and run me in the ground various times due to depression. Because yes, I've had all the therapies you were referring to - just be more 'neurotypical'. Thank you for showing a different more positive perspective.
Oof, when she was stating numbered facts I started balling my eyes out 😭 Average life expectancy of 54 years, 9 times more likely to die by suicide... It's so sad and unfair...
Yes, that part about 9 times more likely to die by suicide really made me sad too. Ugh! That is so terrible. To anyone thinking of suicide, please know that you are loved for who you are and you are valuable and you matter.
It´s not unfair, we are a minority. Fairness is democratic. And basically by not letting us live up to our potential, they are robbing themselves. So fair all around. Sad I can agree with.
*they. they use they/them pronouns.
It IS unfair...
Sensory shopping is like wheelchair ramps: Most people don't need it but we still do it because we live in a society (!!1) and that also means adapting to everybody's needs (within reason).
People are living longer, so more need for wheelchairs in the future. ramps are a blessing for people transporting kids in strollers etc also. So it helps just a little bit more than we might realise.
Life expectancy in the U.S. has decreased.
Malls are horrible for more reasons than being loud and unpredictable. I recommend buying in local or Internet shops. Fast fashion ruins workers and environment. It's not worth supporting
You can shop online these days.
And building a ramp will let everyone get where they need. Building stairs will only help those able to climb them.
Sometimes adapting to people's needs have no negative effects, only positive.
I was just diagnosed ASD-1 last week at age 44. I’m an RN. I have an M.Ed and am a certified massage therapist. I didn’t know what to get my PhD in until just now. You’ve inspired me to pursue something related to ASD-1. Thank you for publishing this and for going public with your message. That’s also inspiring. Thank you
I dont have an official diagnosis but I'm sure I'm autistic level 1. I work in the medical field as a radiology technologist and also as a writer. I'm hoping to transition myself into being a writer full time because working as an RT full time exhausts my mental health just by masking alone and most jobs are not accommodating to my environmental needs. As one health professional to another dealing with autism, I applaud you.
When I found out that I'm Aspie, my whole life just clicked. Like a puzzle or a mystery solved. A great weight was taken from me. I just understood why was so hard to pay attention to what people said, and why people tend to change subjects with me so much... A lot of strangeness from my childhood...
I'm a non autistic person, but after viewing this video my eyes are open wide...such a great way to explain, so confidently she did that, I'm really obliged to hear all information❤
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I'm at a special school for autism when I was in mainstream everybody new I was autistic and they made fun of me I never left that school without a bruise or a broken nose that was because I was autistic I felt really suicidal because of those times may god be with you to anybody who is going through what I went through and hope there is light at end of the tunnel
I am so sorry you went through that, I hope you are doing well now💗You are loved!
That is terrible. You are so much better than those people. They have the problem
They do not know that YOU are a treasure, because you are special! They? They are just average. You can achieve a lot more than them. They only are good working bees.
I am Autistic too. We need to remember out worth. I hope you’re safe now and don’t have to deal with these aggressive idiots
I second the thoughts below but also hope the police have laid charges. Otherwise nothing changes
I was 21 when I was diagnosed with ASD... I wish I would have diagnosed sooner, and I feel we as people should try to help others get diagnosed ASAP....
yea, unfortunate for you, but 21 in others eyes is still better than the outcome they received. I received my diagnosis at 26. I would have loved to know at 21 because then I could have come to a place of understanding and acceptance much sooner, and my road wouldn't have been as winding. And, I know some people who received a diagnosis at 40, 50, and 60+... who probably also share similar thoughts to people much younger than themselves. I've seen parents complain when they have their children diagnosed at 10, 11 and 12, and they are of the opinion that is 'late'. It's all about perspective.
@@Sarah.R.R Very much so, I was diagnosed at 40 and autism isn't my problem, my problems are the shattered sense of self that comes from living for 40 years not knowing and feeling broken everyday.
I am not so sure. I was diagnosed at 23. For all we know, we may have been lucky. Understanding of autism is still relatively new, and all sorts of trouble was involved in getting to where we are today. Even still, that understanding is far from perfect. If we had been diagnosed earlier, it’s plenty possible that the “support” we found could have made situations much worse.
As for me, I was very fortunate. My parents did not know a I was autistic, but went out of their way to meet many of my needs. I took acting, debate, team sports. My parents started homeschooling me once school began to get stressful. I recently found an article on autism my mom had looked at when I was a kid. It was an ABA article that explained autism in... a very unflattering way. I am exceedingly grateful for how things turned out.
Diagnosis at 48 :) I'm just happy with it now. It's interesting though I think that I've been able to achieve more struggling against the ableism that I would have if I'd been diagnosed as a kid and struggled against the prejudice. Be that as it may the only way I can move now is forward and helping ASD community achieve everything they deserve.
@@heathwilder I'm winning so far, diagnosed at 57!
I am 49, never diagnosed with anything aside from depression but explaining myself to others as Im kinda autistic for many years. Lately I've been really down and thank all the people like this speaker for your veiws. It helps to know progress is being made. 54 years life expectancy is really unacceptable.
heather have a crack at RDOS aspie quiz go straight to the test fill out your demographic and don't over think it....It is how I got a bit more evidence that I was on the spectrum and have since seen a psychologist that was well versed in autism who concluded that I was on the spectrum ...good luck
self-diagnosis is perfectly valid, you're welcome to participate in the autistic community as much as you'd like
psychology has been progressing & it's not completely useless but it's not magic, they're just drawing up various categories of what sorts of thinkers there seem to be in the world & then figuring out what interventions help,,, autism is a broad category, really, not a particular condition, it's a catch-all for lots of interesting people who sense the world in ways that cause us to be much less able to enact "normal" (a terrible unnecessary thing which also oppresses neurotypical people),, you can read through the dsm description of autism yourself, it's just that, it just says like, see if our interests are "abnormal", like, check out of we seem weird
This is exactly how I feel! I love my brain! Society needs to be more considerate of other people's needs. Everyone is facing their own battles you know nothing about - be patient!
Oh my god I have never been so understood in my life. All My Life I have been misunderstood by everyone around me. Lots of love.
To being disabled by the environment:
I used to feel limited by being a left-handed.
(because the world has been created mostly by (and consequently for) right-handed...)
There are so many things right-handed people don't have to even consider because for them they feel natural.
For me it is some kind of a struggle every day.
Both handed! But i had to struggle, too. At the time i went to school, teacher would accept left handed. But i just picked up the pen and swapped it from one to the other. So she told me to decide. It was very hard and i am a little bit sad i chose the right hand. It is more convienient. If we wouldve learned writing arabic i think i would have picked the left. Today i still can write with left hand but its training stopped in 3rd grade, so the writing looks like that. Its helpful learning juggling and music instruments.
Tip: you dont need special scissors you just have to push the bottom part up instead of pushing the upper part down 😉
Literally came to say the same thing! Left-handed people have a higher chance to die (being extreme) as this world is designed for the right handed man. Now to think of it on a broader sense. How are we in any way whatsoever supporting the more vulnerable if everybody is expected to adapt and balance to the typical way of life. Surely we should make adjustments for them!
@@geddinixan255 It can be hard to notice but you’re actually pressing sideways on the scissors to push the blades towards each other when you cut. If you use left handed scissors in your right hand and try to use them normally then you will be pushing the blades away from each other preventing you from using them.
@@lolaby2 it works bothways, if you use the left handed scissors in your right hand you will also have to push the bottom part up. You are right there must be some pressure normally you would do that with the thumb on the top part by pushing it away from you. With the left handed scissor in the right hand you will have to do it with the fingers at the bottom part by pulling it towards yourself.
That was really interesting! They're absolutely right on the information diffusion issue - that's very cool to have it confirmed.
And they're right that it's a complete paradigm shift - I had the same experience: I wasn't just someone who couldn't work out why they couldn't cope with stuff everyone else seems fine with: I'm autistic. It was very much a relief that I didn't HAVE to keep fighting so hard to be "normal" - it's exhausting! And now I know that people aren't pretending to be "normal", it literally was just me. And I don't have to. 🥰
"Normalization" is a component of "love".
I raised an autistic boy by simply standing out of his path.
From non-function to hyper-function.
But I was not alone.
It took a whole community of loving people from all disciplines to get that done. Which was the doing of my son when he was allowed to do it.
Paradigm-shift? Yes.
We are changed .. for the better .. and thanks to our autistic messengers?
Not all hear it.
Very few in fact.
But enough.
It takes a village.
And when the vilification of the autistic ends?
The village will arise again.
And the village is the power of humanity.
Be of good heart?
We default to this, just as our acceptance of the message our autistic bring us.
We snap-back very quick.
Things would be grim otherwise.
Be of good heart.
The autistic were not sent here to stress us.
They were sent to liberate us from stress.
(It helps to read Sapolsky to know this .. but you already know. Don't you?)
I am Autistic but I was raised By my mom who is also Autistic. That was very good since she could cater to my very specific needs that she also had as a child but her parents didn't understand. I never ever thought of myself as weird or out of the ordinary but everyone else did and I never understood, I was bad at socializing with my age group and preferred to eavesdrop on adults and find out things That I wasn't supposed to. Or sometimes I would be with a group of adults and then one of them would crack a joke and I would genuinely laugh because I got it lol and I'd just creep them all out.
*they're right
*they're right. they use they/them pronouns.
please correct your post
@@straberryshinigami15g97 , thank you for bringing this comment to my attention - I have edited to correct for J's updated pronouns [the original comment was written three years ago though :) ]
I was diagnosed on the spectrum at age 42 only after I had my son diagnosed. Like she said, MY WHOLE LIFE MADE SENSE!!! I felt like I exhaled after holding my breath my whole life. Remembering incidents in elementary school that I had felt embarrassed or ashamed or even been disciplined for…..that all made immediate sense when I learned I was on the spectrum. I no longer feel ashamed or embarrassed. I know I wasn’t the “bad kid”. Now my son is almost 5 and I am learning right along with him. This life is an absolute trip😊
Her: "most of us are unemployed an are the highest to die to suicide"
Me: on the spectrum, unemployed, depressed out of my mind wantin to die.
Me: "dont call me out now"
Dw i aint gonna, im actually in process of healin uwu
I planned to kill myself 2 years ago not knowing what was going on with me. I felt so alone, constantly bullied and exploited and rejected. Couldn’t hold down a job, terrified of subways and roombas, and being talked down to because I’m looking like 15 when I was actually 28. I felt like I was trapped in a narcissistic matrix and everybody had some sort of dark triad psychosis. People dragged me to bars and it was awful. I couldn’t have fun the way people normally did. I’m so glad I’m alive. I have so much hope now. I am closer to find my tribe. I am grateful and feeling blessed. Depression starts off by chronic stress, trauma and/or hopelessness but stays because lack of exercise and lack of sleep. My parents are still neglectful and abusive at times but it doesn’t matter anymore because I have all the tools I gathered from healing myself. It’s really hard and I don’t blame you. It was a really dark hole and it was scary to be in that hole and I was in it for a loooooong time. I don’t have a job still and my recent relationship was very abusive to me. I have hope because I am finding more and more resources and more and more people like myself. I see myself grow little by little everyday and making better changes for myself. There are more days I wake up excited to get out of bed now. It’s as if the universe (I call Him “Love”) is teaching me how to cultivate happiness within myself regardless of my external factors.
@@venuss1818 "uwu" huh?
How you doin now ? :)
@Razzle'o Dazzle - "uwu" please explain this term - thx.
@@lynngrant4023 not the op but here's the definition according to the urban dictionary:
UwU or uwu is another way of typing the smiley face :3. It means happy, like an anime character's face when they're overjoyed.
I have a son with autism and am proud of him. My advice to parent like me with a child with autism, acceptance is the key.
This is so objectively speaking the single most accurate way of viewing the topic of autism that it's hard to understand how anyone can see it differently, let alone how the almost polar opposite view has so thoroughly dominated the discussion across society. Thanks for bringing some clarity to an incredibly murky issue!
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childand has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely
This idea of us being disabled by our environment has become so clear to me in the last 2 years. I started my a levels in a sixth form of 2000 students that was constantly busy and noisy, class sizes were easily 30 with maybe 20 in my physics lessons. Nobody could tell why I had gone from achieving 5 grade 8s, as well as grade 9 in physics and chemistry, to failing and getting Es in Chemistry A level, further maths and C's in physics. I couldn't cope with the class sizes the noise, not being able to fit in with my own schedule (forced to try and do all my extra work at home in evenings when I'd rather do it at school before going home.)
Then I got an opportunity to restart, I'm privileged enough that my parents could afford to send me to a smaller private school with only about 200 students and class sizes that were no larger than 9, usually closer to 5. Instantly I start to return to who I was (and have always been before), a fair few hiccups with health anxiety and other things but the college were accommodating, the time table from 9-6 like a proper work day meant I could get my work done in college and relax at home following my special interests. I still have problems, I really struggle to get myself to revise and am a massive procrastinator but despite this I've now completed my maths a level (hopefully an A*, entirely confident I got at least an A) and I'm predicted A* in history and physics. I may do further maths depending on the maths a level result. I feel like my life is so much better now despite the daily struggles I still face, but I think I finally got the opportunity to be me again and it was all my environment. I haven't really changed from 15 to 18. It's my environment that has influenced my academic achievement. A year ago I thought of myself as a failure, now a year on if all goes well I'll be applying to Cambridge and Edinburgh universities :)
Good for you, and especially because you didn't give up on yourself and had your parents support. Go forth and have a fabulous life!
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
Please add closed captions. Some people need them and auto generated is not close captions... its closed craptions
Earth really is a flat plane. Censored by the Faux media.
Closed captions of TED Talks are added by volunteers. Whenever you think "this TED Talk needs closed captions" or "this TED Talk needs to be translated to this other language", the best way to make it happen is to do it yourself.
There's information on the TED website on how to sign up.
Considering this is a video on autism having closed captions should be a given.
@@raizin4908 completely possible that the reason Skye's asking is because they need the captions. A good response to "I need the captions" isn't to tell them to do it themselves.
TRANSCRIPT:
We know that the earth is round. Everything we understand about this planet is grounded in the fundamental assumption that the earth is round but there was a time not all that long ago when we knew that the earth was flat. That's called a paradigm shift. Our basic assumptions about the earth changed because we had evidence showing that our previous assumptions were wrong. Just like the shape of the earth, there are assumptions about autism too.
Most people understand autism through medical assumptions. They understand autism as a medical condition, a disorder, even as a tragedy. In the medical paradigm, we're taught to believe that there's a correct way to develop neurologically. That there's a right way for our brains to work: the normal way, and that any other way of developing is wrong and needs to be treated and fixed.
In 2011 when I was 25 years old, I was diagnosed with autism and it wasn't a tragedy. It was the best thing that's ever happened to me. Finding out that I'm autistic brought me an overwhelming sense of relief. My whole life up to that point finally made sense. My paradigm about myself shifted. I wasn't a failed neurotypical person, I was a perfectly good autistic person.
After my diagnosis I did what most of us would probably do- I went to Doctor Google and I started researching autism. Eventually, I upgraded from Doctor Google and did my PhD in autism, became a doctor myself, and today I'm proud to be one of a growing number of openly autistic people working in autism research.
But in those early days I wasn't running a complex research project, I was just trying to learn more about myself. And learn about myself I did. I was bombarded with information. I was bombarded with information about my deficits. Autism causes deficits in social interaction, deficits in communication, restricted and repetitive behaviours, sensory processing deficits. For me, that information just didn't make sense. Finding out that I'm autistic had completely changed my life for the better. How could something that was so positive for me be such a bad thing?
So, I went back to Doctor Google, but this time I dug deeper. I started to find information about autism that was written not by researchers or other professionals, but by actual autistic people. I discovered a thing called the neurodiversity paradigm. The neurodiversity paradigm is an alternative way of thinking about autism. It describes autism as a part of the range of natural variation in human neurological development. At its very simplest autism is a different way of thinking. Just like biodiversity helps to create a healthy and sustainable physical environment, neurodiversity can help to create a healthy and sustainable cognitive environment.
According to the neurodiversity paradigm, there are no right or wrong brains- all forms of neurological development are equally valid and equally valuable and regardless of what type of brain you've got, all people are entitled to full and equal human rights and to be treated with dignity and respect. Now that sounds a bit like a panacea, I know, treating people with dignity and respect. It just makes sense. You might be surprised then to learn that a pretty common way of reacting to this idea is “I don't know, I mean it's alright for you, but it doesn't apply to everybody. What about this person? They're really autistic. They're not just different, they’re disabled”.
Well maybe you can't tell just by looking at me, but I'm disabled too. I’m not disabled by my autism though; I'm disabled by my environment. This is another paradigm shift. The way that we’re used to thinking about disability is based on a model called the medical model of disability.
The medical model assumes that disability is an individual problem. It places disability within the disabled person- within me. For example, I really struggle with shopping malls. They’re loud, they’re brightly lit, they’re unpredictable, they’re full of people. The medical model would say that I struggle with shopping malls because there's a problem with the way that my brain processes that input because I'm autistic.
But there's another way to think about disability, it's called the social model of disability. In the social model, disability happens when a person's environment doesn't cater for their individual characteristics. In the social model, we don't refer to people with a disability. Disability isn't something that I carry around like luggage. Instead, we use the word disabled as a verb. Disability is something that's being done to me. I'm actively being dis-abled by the society around me. When I go to a shopping mall, I don't struggle because there's something wrong with me, I struggle because the shopping mall is designed in a way that doesn't cater to my needs. If we started designing shopping malls that were quiet, dimly lit, predictable, and sparsely populated- well I'd still be autistic, but I might not be disabled by shopping malls anymore.
Almost everything we know about autism stems from research that's based in medical assumptions and the medical paradigm. We spend hundreds of millions of dollars globally every year on autism research and the vast majority of that research conceptualises autism as a problem.
Recently I conducted a study examining how autism research funding has been invested in Australia over the past 10 years. Here's what I found: more than 40% of funding went to genetic and biological research trying to find out why autistic people are the way we are and if there's a way to prevent it; another 20% of funding went to research investigating treatments for autism, most of which are trying to find new ways to make autistic people just act a bit less weird; only 7% of funding went to research investigating services to help autistic people.
Why does this matter? Well around one in 50 people are autistic. About 60% of autistic adults are under or unemployed. 87% of us have mental illness. Autistic people are 9 times more likely than the general population to die by suicide. We have an average life expectancy of just 54 years. And we deserve better.
In 2012 an autistic researcher named Dr Damian Milton proposed a new theory. He called it the double empathy problem and what he suggested was this: maybe autistic people don't actually have social deficits. Maybe we just get along better with other people who think like us. Maybe autistic people socialise better with other autistic people and non-autistic people socialise better with other non-autistic people. Maybe the difficulties that we see when autistic and non-autistic people try to socialise aren't because the autistic person has social deficits but because autistic and non-autistic people are both bad at communicating in ways that make sense to the other.
Now to the autistic community this made perfect sense, but a lot of autism researchers weren’t so keen. I guess maybe they didn't like the idea that the whole history of autism research could be based on flawed assumptions. Luckily in the last couple of years, a handful of autism researchers have jumped on board with the double empathy problem and they've decided to test it scientifically.
In one brand new study by Dr Kathryn Crompton from the University of Edinburgh, they did this using a task called a diffusion chain, which in Australia we know by the slightly politically incorrect name of Chinese Whispers. Now I'm sure you're all familiar with it. You whisper piece of information around a group of people one by one, and you try to keep it as accurate as possible. And if you’ve played it you know that the accuracy part is pretty hard. The first person will whisper a perfectly innocent sentence like “today I need to pay my rent and get new tires” but by the last person, “Donald Trump is president and the world’s on fire”.
Well in Edinburgh they played that game with three groups of participants. The first group was all autistic people. The second group was all non-autistic or neurotypical people. And the 3rd group was a combination of autistic and neurotypical people. The researchers found that the all autistic and all neurotypical groups were equally accurate in their information sharing but the combined autistic and neurotypical group was significantly less accurate and less clear in their information sharing. That suggests that autistic and non-autistic people communicate equally well. It's the mismatch between those communication styles that causes the problems, exactly as the double empathy problem predicts.
We need a paradigm shift in the way that we think about autism. We need to recognise that maybe “acting less weird” is not the best outcome for an autistic person. We need services and supports that will help us to live long, happy and fulfilling lives while respecting our right to be authentically autistic. And we need the kind of work that I do- research led by autistic people that answers the questions autistic people want answered. Because the earth is not flat, and I am not a tragedy. Thank you.
I cried when I watched this. It was like you understood me. Very few people do. Thank you!
I wish everyone in the world could see this. You covered so much that is valuable! I LOVE your closing line! It brought me tears. I'm going to keep that in my heart to remember when people are unkind to me about being "different." Thank you!
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childand has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely
This has to be one of the best videos about autism I've ever seen. As an autistic person this is 100% spot on. I definitely agree that we are disabled by society and that it's easier to communicate with other autistic people rather than neurotypicals.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childand has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely
I love how shes not wearing shoes
Lol my son is shirtless all day, every day.
@The Rockall Times so what? Lots of people do
@The Rockall Times yes and we struggle with that.
Derek Walter - that's a bit harsh
Quite possibly a sensory thing (feeling too restricted in foot wear etc)
I once went to a group for autistic people to meet up and it was incredible. I instantly connected with people and we talked freely for hours. I had never felt that with neurotypical people before. Coincidently, many of my good friends are also autistic, some of whom were diagnosed after I knew them. I would love to meet more autistic people because they make me enjoy talking. I have never enjoyed interacting with neurotypical people, but its different with autistics. I'm not sure why, but I'm glad to know its an established phenomenon and not just some strange coincidence.
I love this so much. Every time I watch it. "I am not a tragedy." AMEN!!!!! There is some major paradigm shifts happening in psychology and being human in general and I love it. This presenter is part of that. Autistic people that are called "low functioning" aren't worse Autistics they have an environment that is worse for them and/or they have other things that are making it harder to deal with being Autistic in a world that isn't friendly to us. All the parents and professionals that refuse to accept this paradigm shift are actively participating in abuse of Autistic people. All the biological and genetic stuff that is aimed at eradicating us should be considered genocidal.
Recently diagnosed with autism at 42 years of age. My new therapist recommended this. Wow - totally inspired by this. It makes me happy to learn new things like this. Thanks!
People like u make people like me depressed
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childand has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely
Dr. den Houting, thanks for your insightful video. My family has the MTHFR mutation with different levels of bipolar symptoms. There is also ADD/ADHD, ASD, Asperger's, and who knows what else. We are square pegs in a round-hole world, but we celebrate our ability to not think like the crowd. Family get-togethers are quite interesting, as the kids and grandkids are very entertaining. All are working or in school with some extremely high IQs. Congrats on your research!
Well done in coming forward and being active and giving voice to millions of people who have not had capacity and have been sidelined by governments and others. You are a true inspiration.
HEY DR. GOOGLE!!!! Glad I found you on my journey. I'm in my 30s, nonbinary, and very very grateful for amazing people like you
THANK YOU DR. I'm a dad of a beautiful handsome 11 year old autistic son. Such an amazing awesome young man. And you, are awesome as well for what you have achieved and who you are as an autistic person. Will save this post to show Alex in the next few years (Alex is 11). Richard from Tasmania Australia 🇦🇺
I just want this speaker to know that I freaking love your tshirt AND your pocket handkerchief. I see you, you are awesome 🤘
I overcame mine with the help of mushrooms.
Research shows that psilocybin mushrooms have promising results for mental health support, particularly in reducing symptoms of depression, anxiety and PTSD.
Where to get em?
doctormaxshrooms is your guy, got all kinds of psychedelics.-:(
Will he be on telgrm or Tiktok?
Yes, that’s his name.
Best video about Autism I've seen in the whole year! And I've doing a thorough research about the subject!! She points out my exact thinking: We autistic human amazing beings are not the problem but the paradigms of the current system are. And we should be more involved in the research and seeking for solutions for our inclusivity!
This was a fantastic talk. I am moved to tears. Profound and encouraging.
I just recently realized that I may be on the spectrum and felt a wave of relief and deep understanding about why my life has been the way it has, something I’ve never felt before.
I remember about 10 years ago I was working for this company that placed respite providers in homes with children who had Autism. The first visit I had was with a little girl that upon first meeting me shocked her parents because I, a complete stranger, was the only person that she ever showed a liking for. Looking back now it makes sense, she could see me. I could also see her.
I used Dr Oyalo herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
that's why I do my weekly shoppings at 7 a.m. when the supermarket opens...
I do mine at about 9 at night just before they shut for the same reasons - nice and quiet
I go at 3am weekday because they're open 24hrs and no one is driving OR shopping at that time 😊
I usually do my shopping right before shop closes. I know that it stresses out the employees, and I feel so guilty about it, but I have to buy food too, so...
But because I'm autistic I do my shopping very quick and I buy it myself (in those places where you scan everything yourself) and I leave like 10 minutes before closing.
I do my shopping late because that is when they reduce the prices to clear the items
My life started to finally make sense too when I was diagnosed at 31 with Asperger's. Thank you, Jac. It's very nice to meet you.
This is so beautiful 💕! My nephew is recently diagnosed with autism and I shared this video to his parents. This brings hope to us that he will find people in his life that he can connect to and have a life like anyone else.
I was diagnosed last summer and with the way she describes the way people with autism are treated when it comes to being different and I’m beginning to understand why there’s always been a sense of guilt for the way I am and how I behave around my peers
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childand has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely
I am 22, and was diagnosed at 20. I have learned a lot and there’s nothing wrong with autism. The hard thing is getting misunderstood a lot.
Goddamn. There is a lot of negativity in the comments. It's not ridiculous to try to adapt and help all kinds of people and their abilities.
Thank you, well said
I haven't noticed any negativity, just debate?
The problem is she is making the point that autism isn't a disability, but another way of thinking. But there are plenty of people who are crippled by their autism, and we're not talking about being overstimulated in a grocery store. These kids need serious help, and if there's a way to prevent autism like this biologically, we most definitely want to find it.
@@Hydroxyium Earth is a flat realm. Not a ball, with air stuck to it, spinning in a vacuum.
@@Hydroxyium right on. I wish non-verbal autism was given a totally separate name. We only came up with this term in the last 60 years, like a factor analysis we need to tease out a distinction between these different levels like verbal, semi-verbal, non-verbal, non-verbal + intellectual impairment
Wonderful TedTalk! All my life I felt so perplexingly alone, would look on at people in wonder, at how effortlessly they are socializing, with little self-consciousness and I would wonder if they were acting. I had no clue I was autistic, was always told I was "quirky," or that I was different as a result of a "high IQ." If I had a nickel for every perplexed expression I've received every time I open my mouth I'd be a wealthy woman.
I've only recently realized I'm autistic and am beginning to understand just how much autism affects EVERY SINGLE MOMENT of every day. From the sensory issues to anxiety/depression, isolation, suicidal ideation, etc. I'm understanding why I gravitated to landscape photography, which takes me out into the mountains & desert - quiet, gentle, largely predictable environments far from people, pollution and urban noise. I'm presently living in misery because I'm stuck in an urban environment due to personal circumstances and hate it with every fiber of my being. Cities were not built for autistics!
Amen, sister :)
Hi Angel :)
I was lucky to get out of the city and it have saved my life.
Although it is a "hard" village life, it makes much more sense.
It is still to noisy for me
but I fight the loud crazy trucks passing by my house with louder music :)
I spend most of the time "alone".
Music and musicians (=people who love love love music) are my favorite company :)
As much as I felt miserable and depressed and suicidal,
I experience joy now to the level of physical "pain" and tears...
I forgot I could feel that ecstatic :)
Would like to jam with you :)
Greetings to you from Czech republic
@Azim Premji This comment is wrong on so many levels I don’t know where to start. Harmful. There’s no shame in being neurodivergent.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since childand has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely
I am spreading this far and wide!!!!! Want to stand on kitchen chair and blast this through the neighborhood
I'm a nurse. Worked in neurology. Good for you for talking. Sooo important. Thank you, jxo
Thank you for your work, it takes a village.
Thank you for raising so-called "normal" people's awareness.🌷
"I am NOT a tragedy." Yes! I recall saying this very thing to more than one person over the years when they realize I'm not fully like them.
Bigotry is the real tragedy.
This is so good! I didn't want to pay for a test to see if I really am on the autism spectrum, but I have other neurodiverse things like ADHD and dyscalculia. I like this approach. I like the part about respect, because I've actually seen the other thing happen, where people are like, "they're just doing (insert bad/illegal thing here) because they're disabled/autistic" which is not fair at all. Everyone needs to respect everyone, which means we all need to learn to communicate in ways that we can, whether that's with technology, hand signs, words, or other things. That means autistic folks letting others know what works for them, and others respecting those boundaries and communicating within them.