Homosexuality: It's about survival - not sex | James O'Keefe | TEDxTallaght
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- Опубликовано: 27 апр 2024
- This passionate talk from Dr. James O'Keefe MD gives us a deeply personal and fascinating insight into why homosexuality is indeed a necessary and extraordinarily useful cog in nature's wheel of perfection.
James H O'Keefe MD, is a Board Certified Cardiologist and Director of both the Charles & Barbara Duboc Cardio Health & Wellness Center and the Preventive Cardiology service at Saint Luke’s Mid America Heart Institute. He is also Professor of Medicine at the University of Missouri-Kansas City. His postgraduate training included a cardiology fellowship at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. Dr O’Keefe is board-certified in Cardiology, Internal Medicine, Nuclear Cardiology, and Cardiac CT Imaging. He is consistently ranked among the ‘Top Doctor’ lists regionally and nationally as one of America’s Top Rated Physicians in Cardiology. He has been named as one of USA Today’s Most Influential Doctors. Dr O’Keefe has contributed more than 300 articles to the medical literature and has authored best-selling cardiovascular books for health professionals including: The Complete Guide to ECGs (which is used for Cardiology Board Certification), Dyslipidemia Essentials, and Diabetes Essential.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
Update from India 🇮🇳, being LGBTQ+ has been decriminalized.
In all states?
🏳️🌈🏳️🌈Congrats from America🇺🇸🇺🇸
Yeah, in all states, as of September 6th 2018
We kind of don't have different rules for different states. Maybe for smaller things or very specific reasons, but generally speaking the law is the same across the country.
Congrats. I hope India keeps thriving 👍
Imagine a father making a TED-talk just to say his kid's awesome and that he loves him so much. Wholesome af.
not like this father who says he studied his son (like when we study some disease or something weird), looking for answers to "justify", and put him in a "special" place and love him. I prefer one who loves me as I am, just for being alive and who does not have me as an object of study and goes around saying everything he had to investigate to reach the conclusion that I have a place and function in the world
@@nangotoman9429 oh but this MD father clearly is the father you would have him be...The problem you have with him is that he is highly analytical, rational, and logical based on empirical facts, a trait typical of any person with a doctoral degree, which is a degree awarded only to those who demonstrate the traits that PROVE what is true, not just rely on personal gut instincts or so-called 'common' sense. Those without such intellects often accuse doctorate people of 'over-thinking' when in fact such critics simply are angry and often because they lack the patience and smarts to accept the fact that thinking at the investigative intellectual level is incompatible with simple quick answers for the under educated and /or simple-minded among us who are angered by the Truth when it doesn't suit their emotional neede.
@@jgrmtnjgrmtn3954 except this "doctor" cherry picked weak studies and made up a really nice story. Don't believe every doctor you meet on TV (or YT). This is far from the scientific proof he would have you believe. Look it up. The studies he cites are widely criticized. If something is too good to be true, and you find it in a 6 y.o. Tedx talk and wonder why you've never heard it before, guess what...
@@jgrmtnjgrmtn3954I can’t agree more with you!
@@nangotoman9429love and care is different. We put psychopaths in jail.
And he's trying to convince society not saying.
And no one is equal and deserve equal care.
Just wanted to share my coming out story. I approached my mom who was on the computer and admitted to her that I had a crush on a girl. She said "okay" then went back to looking at shoes online. I adore my mom.
That's a power move right there from her.
Damn, that's nice. It's good she accepts you the way you are. Wish people in my country were like that
How old were you and are you male or female?
@@Anonymous-qw Female, and I was around 13 or 14 at the time. She even let my then girlfriend stay with us for a while.
@@CabbageSandwich sigma female
“It’s in diversity where we find our collective strength” - James O’Keefe
YES.
And can also be our collective weaknesses. There is no magic pill of success, it is more than that. Failure to acknowkegde this is why we fail. Beleiving our opinion, and only our opinion is correct, hence never questioning our own motives or direction, and never accepting responsibility for negative outcomes for ideologies we are heaviliy invested in, trapped in a prison of our own arrogance, calling ourselves "intellectual", in fact telling ourselves, in hopes we don't have our eyes opened by the real truth.
@CaliforniaNative64 that there is the right question.
@@rinzler9775 even after our death we may never know the truth right? There might not be an answer to that
Big lie.
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. " - Oscar Wilde
That's really pretty.
I love Wilde. That's some sharp wit.
@Yousef Ghaneemah hatred and intolerance are two of the symptoms of mental illness, are you sure, you, don't need some treatment?
@@axilirate "Who we are" changes throughout life. Sometimes bigots even change their minds.
More amazing one-liners that hit home: "You can't be #1 without being odd." And, "why fit in when you were meant to stand out?" -Dr. Seuss
I love how when he said "you all have gay genes" everyone got suddently uncomfortable :D))))
It's like saying we all have mass murder genes. Mutation is part of life.
B Wilhelm 0 to 100 real quick
I thought most of the crowds jeans were passable..... 😉
Not everyone likes to wear jeans
G star?
This explains so much about my family. I am the second son of four, and I come from an impoverished family. I am the most successful and thanks to my skills my family has thrived so much. I am the general counselor for every member. I haven't come out, but I hope I can do it soon. This video makes me feel valued.
Good on you brother! 👍🏳️🌈
You got this bro, I'm sure they'll love you regardless.
Keep at it!
Did you come out ? 🙃
@@yvesangelic1447 No yet to my family, I am in Europe now and when I come back to my country I'll do it. I don't know when that will happen, ask me in 1.5 years . Thanks for asking now.
My eldest daughter came out to me as Bi, I reassured her that I will always love and accept her no matter whom she decides to love or marry.
Great parent
@@blueprint6578 thank you, I try.
Thank you, your daughter loves you.
@@stelharpwood5752 I love her the exact same as my straight children
I really want to hug you right now, i wish my parents could have reacted like you. U are doing great.
I come from a tribal background from the Pacific islands. In my culture gays or transgenders are looked upon in a very positive way. They are the most hardworking people. They have no kids or family of their own they are always available. They can perform both male & female chores in & around the house. They are the ones who care for the elderlies of the family let alone their own mothers & fathers when they are sick or when they grow old & all the siblings dont have time for them because they have their own families to tend to. They are who take care of the kids when their parents are not around or present. Without them the family structure will collapse. Everybody dont have time especially when u have kids on ur own. When males are not present they are able to take their place as well since they possess both female & male powers. They are a gift to humanity by our gods & the west seem to be so offended by them. & to top it off they are our very own personal comedians!! ❤️
In Samoa they are called FAAFAFINE.
In Hawaii they are called MAHU.
In Chuuk they are called NIEFEFIN.
In Tonga they are called FAKALEITI.
In Tahiti they are called MĀHŪ.
In Maori they are called TAKATAPUI.
We believe they were sent from the gods for a good reason.
Very interesting, thank you!
@@MixedFruit876 your welcome.
As an atheist, I think your religion is gold !
@@Nonalhomophobie thank u 🙏🏽
This is so beautiful
It was interesting to watch and well intentioned, but as a gay guy I disagree. It just so stereotypical. I am so sick of gays being portrayed as these really kind, bright, "magical" people spreading positivity everywhere farting rainbows. We're not. Yes, some are - but so are some straight guys. Straight men can be real arses, so can gays. Straight men can be really kind and thoughtful, so can gays. Stop pairing personalities and behaviour with sexuality! It doesn't work like that.
You misunderstand what he's saying. He's not saying that all gay people are, in your words, really kind, bright, "magical" people spreading sunshine. He's just saying, that statistically, backed by scientific evidence, gays are more likely to be altruistic, bright, empathetic, independent thinkers etc. Of course many people don't fit the stereotypes, gay or straight. Of course there's always anecdotal evidence to the contrary. But science is a numbers and evidence game, and overall the studies back up what he's saying.
BDoug I just don't think I (or any gay person) was born into the world to be nice and to keep my family together. I don't believe in my mother's pregnancy her body though they needed someone to be the glue in the family so that made me gay. This research he's done, how accurate is it? It seems like some hypothesis he's made up after looking at a few statistics, not actual fact. What about bisexuals, transgenders, panasexuals? Where do they fit into this? It almost seems like he's just a father who found it a bit difficult *at first* that his son was gay, so he tried to find a scientific reason to justify it. It just doesn't all make sense to me
That One You Tube Comment, I totally understand where your coming from & what your trying to say, however I think there is 1 critical factor we're forgetting that was not reviewed in the video. The element of "nurture" and environment. Just like you said, gays are no different from straights when it comes to positive or negative personality traits. That does not discredit the eloquent speech we saw in this video. The doctor was speaking in terms of "nature", and as far as that goes he was spot on. But as unique individuals we should know that we're made up of more than just genetic coding. Who we are also comes from HOW we were raised, with what values, and the nurturing quality of our growing up environment (or lack thereof). So yes in a way what you say is true, but not because what the doctor said in the video is incorrect, but because there are other factors in what makes us human other than genes. Being raised in a loving environment is just as critical as the specific codes & switches in our very DNA.
This man has less than half an hour to present to you years, probably decades of research made by him and others, there's simply no time for him to present well rounded arguments backed by statistics and research. You can either take the statements made in this video as given or dismiss them entirely, but to judge them you will have to read books and papers published by him and others on said matter. His not promoting a stereotype in saying "all gays are...", but merely giving an overview - which should be easily comprehensible if you see the statistic shown for the supposed intelligence of gays. It does not show that all gays are highly intelligent, not even a majority, but just an unusal high percentage compared to the straight majority. The same will probably apply to your disapproved image of gays as "magical" people - not all of them, not even a majority, but an unusal high percentage
We all know that not gay men are like that, but the researches all show that a majority of us are more emotional and kind than straight men.
I've been waiting years for a relatable, science-based explanation video that I can share with people who really are struggling to understand homosexuality. This is fantastic!
You know why you've been waiting for years? Because there isn't any.
@@GR-le1ms did you watch the video????
what are the results so far? genuinely curious
If you want a trans version, professor Dave has a pretty good one
@@maddsadd521 Yeah and it’s pseudoscience.
I'm a straight woman but God if I have cried watching this video. The part about the mother giving a marker to her baby touched me. Our bodies know what to do ❤️
Lovely comment...thank you!🥰♥
I got in trouble for giving a marker to a baby... did you know that it can take over a month to get sharpie ink off of a baby's skin...
Closet case@@clarkkentsuperman5911
@@clarkkentsuperman5911stupidity is real
@@yvesangelic1447 I'm sure that it stares back at you from the mirror every morning...
“We will love whoever you love” is the most beautiful reaction to a coming out I’ve ever heard
,,yes ,,but we know gays r made ,,so can be unmade .....w/love ,,understanding what went wrong ...can uguess ???
@@phillunrau9972 no they're not
@@phoenixdavida8987 ..not born ,,but made that way...programmed fr having poor role models ...satan is working to break up homes ... so father must be strong and head of home ,,not the mother...so the son will go look 4a strong man ...
..yes u can love who u want ,, bcz GOD ALLOWS FREE WILL as eve/adam given in garden ,,, but guide lines r given ,,eve broke them ,, and man w//a man is wrong ...
That response is why I love women.... To me, he seemed to imply that as the father, he hadn't the clue what the right words/response would be, and so chose the worst: silence... fortunately he had a woman beside him to quickly use inclusion and acceptance.
I’m amazed that nobody laughed at his “we don’t struggle for existence: we snuggle for existence” joke
People dont laugh at jokes they don't understand. And during that year, research on this was very very new. Still is to this day lol
I loved that joke lol
Maybe because puns are the lowest form of humour, and the audience is above average in intelligence.
I thought it was more wholesome than funny.
It took me a hot minute to get it
This just silenced Homophobia in such a definite and beatiful way that I wish every single person on this planet would watch the full Video at least once in their life
Depravity. Pride before the fall
I am straight or at least I think I am. I cried as if touched by the soothing touch of love on every cell of my body. This talk was strange in a good way. I really felt embraced by love, something that is not so common these days.
Don't let anyone tell you who you are. Find love and be loving...hold onto it like your life depends on it, because it does. Hope you have a great 2023. Peace!
Are you African?
This... repaired my mood. I was told today at school by our social science teacher that gays, asexuals etc. are a deviation from how the society should be. I left that class very dejected, but this beautiful man made me return to my confdence before I dwelled on it too long. Thank you!
Show your teacher this video! Or refer them to me for some one-on-one time >:]
You should mention this to your parents. And other authority figures. It seems to be a deviation from the norm, yes, but no one has the right to decide how anything *should* be.
@Sam Bacon yes. Unfortunately, many textbooks currently used today have not been rewritten since the 1970s (only reprinted). She therefore needs to supplement her books with more up to date sources. A great suggestion would be for the school to buy access to JSTOR, a database that collects magazines put out by different organizations. A JPASS is apparently only $19.50/month with a slight discount if you pay yearly instead. So, about the same as a subscription to any magazine: but you get ALL the magazines. While the articles are too technical for use as reading material below grade 12, they would be of use to teachers: as well as supporting learning in other ways. For example, computer class could use it to teach students how databases work. Or students could write pretend bibliographies citing real articles. Basically, it's one of the best and most underutilized education tools out there, and it's dirt cheap.
@Sam Bacon If we take what was said literally here, then the teacher is making a moral claim, not a scientific one. So what the APA thinks would be irrelevant. Mind the is-ought gap.
If a species doesn't reproduce, it dies. So if that's what your teacher was implying, that's indisputably true. But if the teacher was making a moral claim, then of course it's false, because all moral claims are false.
"... the truly gifted aren't burdened with children." I'm infertile, so this makes me feel a tad bit better.
Yes
@Cameron MacLean My comment wasn't sarcasm though. So like, yeah. 🤷🏽♂️
@Cameron MacLean it's statics
You burdened your parents lol
Lol I'm gifted..with children.. they are my greatest GIFT..they've showed me that I'm truly GIFTED at being a father.. better than the one that wasn't there for me. And when I die the way they live on this earth and the way they treat people on this Earth will be another GIFT that I leave. I feel sorry for the people who can't have kids but especially sorry for the ones who don't want them. Seems like a lonely selfish life but who am I to say 🤗😎
Wow, someone that finally made sense of it and put it eloquently so that anyone can understand why we are who we are in the grand scheme of life.
I saw this speech in my early 20s and it helped me appreciate my existence and look at it homosexuality in a different way.
Heartbreaking that so many people have children then turn them away for who they are. I hope this video is eventually seen by all. Stop the hate...it is counterproductive to peace. Happy new year to everyone.
It all make since great presentation people who are taught by family or freinds wrong bias information about gays that's where the hate starts uninformed individuals kids emulate Parents or freinds that hate Is the correct way.
@@davidray4793 Generational bias is a fact. Some people are lucky to have the support of their family and others aren't so lucky. Happy 2023 and peace!
I am gay man from China, the big brother of 2 sons. It's not easy to be yourself here. But I tried my best to support my family. I take my family members' happiness over my own. Now that my family is at it's best situation, I decided to come to America to study and explore a new life.
g w this is beautiful. I wish you the best on your education and exploration.
Assuming this is real, good luck!
Realise this:
For every gay chinese man, there is a gay chinese man.
For every heterosexual chinese man, there is 0.94 heterosexual chinese woman in the right age group.
You'll never have to wait in line to flirt!
***** To be frank, nothing beautiful. This is just normal for Chinese people. Maybe its' a cultural thing, straight or gay. Compared to others, I am more selfish as I did escape finally.
I thought it that fit the Chinese 1-child only-policy pretty well. Is having less children not what the government wants?
This is a heartfelt and beautiful presentation however not every gay person falls into these stereotypical categories. Not every gay male is artistic, peacemaking, and feminine; not every heterosexual male is masculine. Humans regardless of sex or orientation are unique blends of characteristics and talents.
yeah thats how nature works, there are ALWAYS exceptions. But if we say every theory is false because of these exceptions then we're going nowhere.
Totally agree, this guy, seens to me kind idiealistic
Exceptions don't disprove the general rule.
Alexis Hall infancy of study(modern technology and medicine will prove more very shortly)
Those studies are definitely biased. I worked at a college's research department and received hundreds of papers and talked candidly and in confidence with many of the authors; of which many confessed or slipped out that they somehow tweaked their results, or cheated in their way of getting their samples, even that they outright falsified queries, etc... So I agree, he just chose the studies that supported his claims, the same could be done to prove an opposing viewpoint.
Cried all the way through. Coming out late - it just gives so much comfort and resonates so much. I played that role in my family who were struggling with a lot of trauma themselves and sacrfiised my childhood to support my mother and try to bring joy and balance to the family in spite of what was going on. One to share for sure.
I was afraid of clicking this video many times when it was on my recommended feed, because my mind's already corrupt and the thumbnail gave me the impression it was going to be about pederasty and spread misconceptions about homosexuality, but I'm so glad I finally clicked it and watched it. Great video, groundbreaking research and a really good concept to think about.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone's dad was as open minded as he is.
They are...they just call them mum..
My African kids will love me!
It's about intelligence and maturity, not so much about being "open-minded."
Mike 4thekite OH I WISH. My mom’s religious as HECK.
It def would
As a straight man, I found this to be a very enlightening talk in the world of homosexuality.
I can think of no other social media that can give me the same mind-opening discussion.
RUclips is such a massive part of my life. I would not have progressed to where I am in life today without YT and the beautiful people in it.
I'm always happy when I see someone else who got those benefits too :)
Definitely tapping in to say that I feel the same way! Other social media platforms never did it for me like RUclips. I’ve been 2 years without social media except for this right here!
@@MayBlake_Channel I completely relate with this! I've been telling myself to learn more from Reddit but somehow it's just not clicking as well as RUclips does with me.
@@rubenpartono Hmm. What do you think the reason for that is?
Well I can! FOX NEWS.
Phenomenal talk about nature and homosexuality.
I send this video in discussion forums whenever we discuss religion and homosexuality.
Wow. I'm so moved by this. And I have a feeling my late Dad would have cried hearing this because I know that he never forgave himself for his rejection of me. As an elderly man, he did so well in his efforts to come to terms with what he understandably thought was a normal reaction, and I never stopped loving him. Rest in peace, Dad.
RIP TO ALL OUR LOVED ONES WHO LEFT THIS EARTH
@@shakurwonders5216 u believe in life after death?
He was lucky to have you for a son. I'm glad he discovered that at the end.
Right or wrong, one thing is for sure: this is what a real father is!
Right or wrong, one thing is for sure: this is what a real RUclips comment is!
Well, he's right so...
@@canniglow he's not
@@nisse7798 Why do you think that?
nisse26a... go on an show your ignorance. Come on with it.
Having a gay child, in my case, a gay son, gives you one of two choices, you can accept them, their choices and their partners OR you can lose them.
As the mother and father of a gay middle child, we did not even make a "choice", we just accepted our son because we love him. His brothers are completely accepting of him and over the years have learned to accept and appreciate his support, advice and friendship.
There is absolutely NO doubt that there is a deep and sincere love and acceptance of who their brother is.
Familial love is the strongest power there is and I am a PROUD mother of a gay son, he enriches our lives everyday.
We LOVE you son, for who and what you are, unconditionally.
Huge kiss from me to you.
Eileen Oberholster will you be my mommy? Mine won't speak to me. :(
ThatsSOhistorical oh Dear. Your comment made me cry here. Wish i could give you a hug! Just know you always will have a family in the gay community and feel free to contact me if you need emotional suport. My facebook is facebooc.com/tom.grotto
Eileen Oberholster congratulations on being a great mom! love!
Thank you for this beautiful comment. I hope my family comes around and learns to love like you someday.
This is superbly done! I "knew" at around age 5 that I found men especially attractive. That was 70-odd years ago. Fortunately for me, the family did not negate or degrade me. They accepted me without giving voice to its reality. Not every family is that gracious and understanding. Here in the U.S., "Christians" focus more on the hate and less on the love. Jesus says in the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 19, "Not all men are called to marry." Even then, 2,000 years ago, certain facts were understood. Thank you James O'Keefe!
Just beautiful. I have studied some of what he says for a few years now. Nature doesn't make mistakes. Until we evolve to embrace diversity we will be stuck in a cave.
Yeah and all the homosexuals are good people, right? So romantic, sadly reality is not that naive.
We all come out of a uterus...that’s the only time we should have a coming out party. The rest of the time we should just be loved!
@@treygowdyspurpletie9878 Not quite true. Loving is an active process, some are more capable of it than others. It has nothing to do with your emotional net worth. Don't believe in phrases like this, they can make you sick. Not being lovable would mean you would have to work on your looks or character. And while part of this might be true, the absolute most of it is superficial and loving and being loved will much more come down to loving as an ability everyone should learn, train and execute.
No, not all people are fortunate to come out of the uterus
@Anna Kooima sure. Considering more babies are killed than borned in NYC. it could come in handy
Elhastezy and? They’re still coming out of the uterus
Think y’all need to learn more about the reproductive system if you think c-section babies don’t also come out of a uterus
DID THAT GUY REALLY SAY SNUGGLE FOR EXISTANCE? I LOVED THAT.
He did indeed say that and I loved it too :)
Now I want to snuggle with my family
I KNOW RIGHT 😍
II
So cute - snuggle for existence 💕
I have never felt more accepted and valued (in terms of homosexuality) before watching this wonderful ted talk.
I was left in tears when he said "The mother said 'I need a kind and clever ally to help me hold this family together.'" When my mom found out that she was pregnant with me, she also found out that she had throat cancer. The doctor and my father tried to get her to abort me so that she could be treated. She refused, delivered me and was began treatment a couple days later. She truly needed loving support. I wish that I could have shared this video with her before she passed last year. I know it would have given her great peace and comfort. Thank you James for sharing this beautiful and powerful talk. Thank you for the love you are putting into the world.
That is so sweet. May your mother rest in peace ❤
Oh God... when he said "I know my son is exactly who he is meant to be" I released a few tears. That is what every LGBT+ person needs to hear. Thank you for delivering this talk.
Mainly the cry is how to protect your child from the harsh world
@Rob S I hope you don't have a son
@Rob S IF you'll have a son. And I hope you don't.
@Rob S Define the "right way" according to you. Nature is not on your side, just so you know.
@thowe624 what did he say?, he deleted his comments.
“I need a kind and clever ally to help me hold this family together”. This warmed my heart ❤️
what if you are the only child
@@girlbossincorporated a family of 3 with just 2 parents and a child is still a family.
@@ash.mystic yay im the glue to hold my parents relationship together!
@@girlbossincorporated That sounds sad. Hope you're okay Dr. Gradient. Parents shouldn't make their child feel like they're the only thing keeping them from separating or divorcing.
@@stelharpwood5752 they dont make me feel like that. i just do. also theyve been getting better since i made that comment
"On 6 September 2018, a 5-judge constitutional bench of Supreme Court of India invalidated part of Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code, hence making homosexuality legal in India." changes in a positive direction.
Took you long enough.
There's need to be more gays in India. That country is grossly overpopulated.
I have watched this talk and come back to it for years and years. I’m so grateful that this monologue exists because we have so much to juggle day in and day out. I’m down to snuggle for existence and all I ask is respect 💖💖💖
This completely changed the way how I viewed my homosexuality and brought me to tears. I just wish my family would understand but I never dare to say
Just send them a copy of the url and let them watch it!
I Hope your parents will accept you
Courage is the sole foundation to communication. Courage is freedom. Freedom is breathtaking and removes the weight off your shoulders even at the risk of a new problem. People usually come around over time. If they don’t, at times you just just have to ask, Is family love a condition of me being straight? At times people need to really understand they are hurtful. It’s a process for them to get over. Allow them time. If it’s not working, at times you have to just firmly say, STOP trying to change me. If things don’t go well over time, send the family a letter arriving on the same day - saying this is something you were born with at no fault of anyone and ending with a simple question. Is family love a condition on me being straight? Courage is a frame of mind. Courageous people know there is a lot of risk at times but presses on because the focus is not on loss, but rather deal with the real issue at hand. If you are further shunned, the effort is not over. Time has an amazing healing power for people to come around. Doubting family members start paying attention to the “subject”. Years of people believing one way takes time to learn their own way to tolerance and finally an acceptance. Eventually you can introduce your mate. Eventually they realize it’s about your happiness. As a rule tough times never last but tough people do. Press on with your life and use any discouragement as fuel to do the right thing in your own life. It’s important to stay positive, for you to take the high road and study manners. Manners has opened more doors in life and it’s a deep secret to many. It’s difficult for people to argue or debate people who are so polite. That does not mean you become weak. It means you can be both and state facts to hold your position.
Many people gravitate to people with manners. Manners start at the dinner table from the way you place your knife on the plate after you first use it, to not talking with food in your mouth, it’s keeping your lips shut while chewing. Manners is how you walk in the room in a pleasant and somewhat charming manner and greets the others. It’s also how you conduct yourself in a job interview. Deal with coworkers. Eventually it’s natural. Being confident yet pleasant pulls people in. It’s the high road. That’s the question to ask in a challenge... what is the high road? Taking that position wins out more often then not. Manners and the high road includes temperance. A subject in and of itself. It’s amazing how powerful this is and it’s part of the secrets of life and relationships. The secret to relationships is not being a ongoing burden and bidirectional courtesy.
They already know.
Sending you love and acceptance! ❤️
"A society that condemns homosexuality, harms itself." That's deep indeed
Yay.
A deep hole lie lmao
@@renderlessgames wtf
Uggg
That statement makes no sense! People want to feed there worldly lust, when the bible clearly states that homosexuality is not the right way to live . God condemns this life style. If u choose not to believe Gods words u are playing with fire!!! You will have to face the Lord for making this tragic decision. This world is trying to turn everyone away from God !!! Away from the truth!! Many are sadly being deceived!!!!
Is it weird that this talk made me cry a little????? That was beautiful like being at church😂❤️❤️
No It absolutely did the same to me.
@@greg-op2jh lol deeper than just science right?!?👏🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
This is such a powerful presentation. Highly underrated. Imagine if we, as a society, engaged this understanding; how progressive we would be!
Someone get this man a TV show he can literally cure homophobia
He’s said all he needs to say. He made me accept myself in 17 minutes and for that, I salute him.
I think I'll see myself to the door. I feel sick.
@@sunlight000 I can't say. The children at utube would delete my comment. I think you know why though.
@@phillipstracner7909 "Me thinks you doth protest too much."
@@JamesBrown-ij1px I listen to rock and roll
This guy has a strong Robin Williams vibe going on.
With some Neil Patrick Harris thrown in the mix.
That's what I was thinking lol
thank god i am not the only one xD
@u wot m8 Facial features and charisma
He seems a "bit" calmer than Robin.
I've heard this, not sure of how we came to know this, but if a Baby is given Everything, food, shelter, clothing, etc, etc. But his/her mother or another human being does not hug them for the first 2 months of their lives, that Baby will not live😢. I've also heard that prison inmates who have been locked up in solitary for extended periods of time, will start fights with the guards or anyone nearby just to feel another person's touch...these two pieces of information made me cry and also realize how much we need each other.
One of the best TED talks i have ever seen, ripe with amazing storytelling backed up by the scientific wonder and awe, of evolution, biology and most important hummanity.
Sir, thankfully in India, Homosexuality is legal now.
Your speech is great.
As a human being we need to be more n more accepting.
Homosexality doesn't regulate by law as it's a personal matter and doesn't disturb public order and health that all the matter for law to not punish.
That's amazing!
Donald Trump legal means law abiding ... bruh.
💜💜💜
@Donold Trump LOL THANKS FOR THIS.
I'm so happy that I'm almost in tears. If only every parent could be a kind and loving as Dr. O'Keefe, the world would be a much better place.
suvariboy Agreed
It is always the same...
suvariboy i have not watch the video yet, but I'm gonna have to agree with you before i do
too bad this isn't real science
and some people just had to be assholes
This is the best TED talk I've ever listened to.
I agree, beautifully presented by a fiercely intelligent and deeply compassionate father.
He seems more like a father who looks for excuses to "accept" his son and give him a privileged place in the world, than a scientist who treats a subject with seriousness and objectivity. The data that is presented in the first minutes and the conclusions that it draws from them are quite poor
He presented his information eloquently and cleverly in such a heartfelt manner, its beautiful. Glad he decided to give this lecture. I'm sure others needed that heartfelt acceptance we all deserve. Great father and role model. 🥰🙏
but it's not a scientific talk, even if he is a doctor and uses scientific data. The information presented in the first minutes leads him to nonsensical conclusions! He looks more like a father trying to "justify" and "accept" his son, than a scientific talking.
@@nangotoman9429 You're the one with nonsensical conclusions, bro!
In India it’s ( homosexuality ) no more crime ( From 6 th September 2018) , just wanted update 😊
Sameer Avhad what isn't?
Sameer Avhad Nice
B S homosexuality is no more crime in India 🇮🇳. Our government changed the law this year September 2018.
'It's is' is incorrect grammar, because 'it's' means it is
I know right! Woohoo 🏳️🌈🤘
First of all, this man is extremely intelligent and educated. Second, he’s an incredible, supportive and loving dad. He is a perfect example of how parents should react after their kids come out. Such a wonderful role model. Both compassionate and intelligent- I truly do applaud him
It's easy to react this way when you have 4 children and the "nephew model of DNA transfer" works.
I wonder how it must feel to have such a suportive father.
A straight 19 year old girl like me, trying to understand homosexuals better. Why? Because I want to defend them against those close minded people who only knows how to criticize them and never fails to make homosexuals feel like they don't belong to our society. I'm totally straight but I'm always offended when someone condemns lgbt especially when they say it's a sin. I understand some finds it hard to accept this probably because they thought it's not normal, but what I'm trying to emphasize is that we should RESPECT THEM and as much as possible not to make them feel that they don't belong or that they're different.
Thank you for being an ally
we need more straights like you bro
@Dija no not all of them, but most importantly, why should i care? im not religious. So what any given religion thinks of, well anything, is totally irrelevant to me
@Dija Good! so dont bother people then
@Dija Nope your bothering others but running in and screaching about your storybook fandom
"... the truly gifted aren't burdened with children."
All those years of women showing no interest in me has paid off! ಥ‿ಥ
And their knowledge and talents aren't passed on.
@@humansvd3269
Uhm, through their interactions with other people, yes? I mean, you have teachers, tutors, senior employees taking on apprentices, aunts and uncles w/o children but help raise nephews/nieces, etc...
"It takes a village to raise a child."
@@illustryfe5354 No, it takes parents to raise a child.
People with high iq or those with talents should reproduce as you ensure they are passed on. Failing to do so deprives society of those that can contribute.
@@humansvd3269
Talent and IQ don't mean the people having them can function as good parents. Of course not everyone has to be free from such relationship to keep at their field and success. There's also the problem with the child wanting to inherit the parent's knowledge or not. And then, people nagging about not caring, not showing basic love and affection....
And if they are talented/smart, they can pass on their knowledge through research or teachings.
The thing is, there hasn't been a clear research about how talented parents give birth to talented children and said will inherit whatever the parents are passing on.
@@humansvd3269 You have a reductionist/simplistic view on a topic I bet you've never researched in a laboratory. Don't act smart, troll.
i wish every father was like this guy
Not me, im quite happy that my father accept me for who i am and do not spend the rest of his life looking into suspicious studies to search and find at all cost a reason for my condition... that's quite humiliating .
He's kinda gotta be cool about it; pretty sure he realizes it runs in the family.
well yeah but in a society where most people werent very accepting, and people say its a sin and that its unnatural, so this guy what he is doing is trying to raise awareness so others can learn its natural and accept their kids and stuff ya know?
I think he's trying to help other people understand that it's not unnatural. He said ion the beginning that he was more worried for Jimmy 's safety than anything else.
then they would be the mother....perfect gayism...yeah
I am from the UK and sadly the suicide percentages are very similar here too and I was 1 of the many that tried......I thank the higher powers every day that I did not succeed but I was the lucky one. This speech really hit home for me.
This video is why there should be an option to like a video twice.
hes a brilliant dad. i wish everyone was like that.
He had other three children to spread his DNA.
@@gauravrajak007 AHAHHAHA
@@gauravrajak007 what's the point ??? everything ends doesn't it, then why so obsessed over it, is a finite thing more important that the life of your son ?
@@arianagrandaremix8858 it matters, if not your won't have born. It's a biology yes we will die but not entirely.
@@gauravrajak007 actually in that way,you wont die either if you reproduce or not, we will turn into nutrients and continue to appear and nourish the next generation. tw, are u sure that ur generation won't stop? there are so many chains that stoped?and even if it dosent then what? isnt it selfish though? make the most of what u have now and let your son have what he wants with his life instead of making his life what you want for urself ! im saying this bez my parents are forcing me like that too
"It's a snuggle for existence."
I love that line.
edit: thx for the likes
.
I almost had a seizure from the cringe 😆
This guy is definitely a dad, hahaha
So true, May
@@MayBlake_Channel ya, i agree with most of what he says, except for that. existence in this world is most definitely more of a struggle than a snuggle.
As a science lover, I always believe that someday humanity will figure out the overall science behind homosexuality. We are getting there.
Beautiful talk. Absolutely full of knowledge, understanding, compassion, and love. Well done sir!
I wonder what this means for bisexuals and others, I hope studies like this continue to shine light on the acceptance of lgbtq+ minorities.
I guess it's a wildcard? :D When evolution is not sure what's the best bet, hedge your bets.
Yeah - would be great if someone could link a source answering this ^^
i was wondering the same. how do bi/pan people fit into this? and trans people as well? if only these traits hadn’t been treated as abominations for so long throughout history, maybe we’d know more by now. 💔 i’m just glad things are changing, though.
I was looking for this comment. I’ve been thinking the same thing.
I'm really very grateful to be alive now, than before. Now I can be myself. But I wish there were more studies conducted about LGBTQ+ individuals. Then we'd know so much more and that youths in the community suffer more than straight peers. But we have lots of progress
That Ellen reference probably isn’t most useful now 😂
Yeah it did not age well🦶🤧
Haha yea
Lmaoo
Why is that tho?
That's why it was called a show all along
3:42 that Ellen Degeneres thing did not age too well
ik huhu
I’m in tears😢this was a fascinating & moving talk thank you!!!
I think he got it right with the "unusual qualities of personality", but it isn't quite correct to insinuate that all Homosexuals are good people. Anybody can be a dick.
Cece Burton I think that's a bad way to characterize it. I think he just meant homosexuals are predisposed to be emotionally intelligent and with that intelligence they can be "healers" or "push people's buttons" aka (be dicks)!
Native Americans did see homosexuals as "2 spirit" ppl and they were usually the healers and shaman of the tribes.
Cece Burton don't say that, I think everyone by nature is predisposed to be good, I think in the beginning everyone is nice, it's just the things they went through as they mature, that culminates into what they are now.
Cece Burton nothing is absolute
in a scientific study, nothing is black and white. a statement saying that gay ppl are all good is pretty much inaccurate. But to say that gay ppl have a higher chances to be altruistic is more accurate.
being altruistic/good is not determined by just being gay only. there are other factors like ur what environment u are exposed to, ur childhood experience and etc.
but in a control study by only looking at the personality traits and sexuality. most study concluded with said above statement. do u understand
Meanwhile I’m here saving money so I can move out safely because having accepting parents weren’t in the cards
I accept you and love you as the unique human being you are and, even though that's not enough because the acceptance of parents is rlly important, I hope it helps you understand that, no matter how hard things can get, there's always someone out there willing to help u or just be ok with who you are
i’m sorry baby ❤️
You are not alone, it's a hard process to go through. There are going to be moments of despair and loneliness but You will be ok. It's all worth it in the end. Just be true to yourself, respect yourself, find yourself and love yourself.
You're not alone...all the way from Nigeria 🙏🏾🙏🏾😢
Aloychucks Mario same but we live in the USA
A fabulous and touching tribute to an important segment of our society.
dad wasn't happy with tolerant love, he got busy and figured out how to be proud as a rational straight dude. Great perspective.
Real love does not need aproval. Real love would be telling the child what is wrong, even if it hurts.
@@tell-me-a-story- uHm...okay?
@@tell-me-a-story- thats called invalidation
Meanwhile, at my lovely residence *cough* my mother has just told me that her brother-my uncle- is devastated because his daughter isnt NORMAL. She said, "imagine how horrible it would be to have a child that can never have children and destroys their family".
My brain: Gee really mom?!?! I did not know pls keep going and tell me more. Cause u dont even know that as soon as I go to my room. Ill be weeping, knowing that ill have to live in a closet for the rest of my life.
..hugs..
hehehe I am so sorry. Here for you if you need me.
The Toxic Parent. 😒😖
*hug pile, everyone*
Love yourself. Leave and be independent.
what a sweet father, not just how he supports his son and did his research about it, but the way he talks about his children. what a great father.
Such a brilliant talk. All this is so in line with what I have experienced in my life after I got through all the homophobia of the 1950s and 60s. The self-loathing took its toll but I realised later in life that the important people in my life did not mind at all about m orientation.
Both my partner and I are the oldest of our siblings - yes, we're two guys, and a mixed race couple. Now in our fifties, we have been blessed with wonderful nephews and nieces to dote on and neighbours who call us 'the boys'. We are blessed, and give thanks to the wonderful acceptance and love we have experienced and shared with those around us. Thank you for being such a loving father to your children, what a lovely heart warming talk.
I definitely believe he loves his son, but the talk dishonest!
"always forgive your enemy, nothing annoy them so much!" hahaha only I laughed at this. The crowd's tough here.
ikr
Totally agree... when I was a retail cashier, nothing annoyed mean customers as much as being super nice to them and agreeing with everything they said. :)
I use this strategy around narcissistic people I know. I avoid them, but if they come to me I'm respectful to them and act sort of nonchalant around them. It's been working well for me. They usually get annoyed and learn to leave me be when they notice that they can't get any reaction other then disinterest out of me.
Yes there are always exceptions to the rule. Every human also has the mental, emotional, and spiritual layers of themselves - these layers also contain all the traumas and PTSD's we collect through our experiences, to overall give how we express ourselves. So in support of this talk it goes to show that the loving support one has also fosters our expression of ourselves. Humanity is being called to reinvent their judgments of each other. To bring about peace to the world lies within each individual to rethink and let go of dinosaur attitudes, beliefs, programs that are now harmful to humanity as a whole. They may have been viable long ago ( but looking at history it never was benevolent ) but in today's world and the future if there is one still, change is necessary. It rests within every individual and their choices of benevolent behaviors towards each other.
One of the best ted talks I have come across. Such a great guy.
This is completely off topic, but is it just me or does he kinda look like Robin Williams?
it's the mouth
Robin Williams crossed with steve Carell maybe?
I thought he looked and sounded exactly like Tim DeKay from "White Collar "
Ha i see it
Yeah. At least in profile.
I was in tears as he was concluding... hearing all of this made my day
Real men don't cry!
I have to admit, I did too. It's well spoke and well thought out, more of these please. 😋👬😋👬😋👬😋
I'm crying that I'm not as handsome as you. 😍😍
Paul Andrews you are funny
SAADY MELENDEZ He's right though
Every time I watch this video I end up sobbing Lol
I learned something today. This has been really informative. And enjoyable.
"It's kinda like the white flour in bread disapproving of the yeast" that's a great analogy because flour can't rise without the yeast. Also this dad will raise a great son! Can you imagine if all dads had the same outlook as him. This was one of the best ted talks I needed to hear, much appreciation!
Can people stop saying it's not scientific enough? It's his personal theory along with evolutionary evidence from other species. I think it's very thought out and plausible. After all, all science starts from a theory.
Science actually starts with a hypothesis.
But there is a difference between saying"here's my theory(which is easily proven wrong)" and saying"here is the truth".
Alex Thompson he didn't tho...it's just a ted talk and theory that could possibly be true.
sarah Owens so why is he saying this like "that's why this and "it is". That is fact talk not theory.
Alex Thompson Nobody writes a theory where they pussyfoot around every sentence of it. Its understood its a theory. You every read or write a paper past highschool? You dont say "in my opinion" because it would be redundent to say so. Its a given
que palestra digna e interessante! Espero que, um dia, nossa humanidade se liberte da religião e do medo para crescer e ser uma grande família.
Great presentation
Awful presentation
@@AnaLisaMelchoto-jg9vu like you could ever make sense
Girl this just made my value sky rocket in this family 💆🏻♂️🌈
harry frampton I CANT BELIEVE THIS SHIT OMG
Hahaha my mom must've been hella stressed lol
Stop saying 'hella', Cartman.
Max Allen he is right, cartman.
Hella hella hella hella hella
my mum almost died when she had me hahahaha
Uh...I hope you're being sarcastic...but you can't spontaneously change your genetics when you exit the womb.
His explanation, reminded me of the two-spirited people of north America, individuals who were highly respected and loved by their communities. They were not outside of the social fabric of their tribes but a very well integrated one. One of the things they were known for, for instance, was the provision of couple’s counseling for their community, as they individuals who could understand well the feminine and masculine energies of people.
A lot of the things he says in the video might sound like “stereotipisation”. However, if we stop for a moment and think: is it true that societies that harm and exclude homosexuals are harming themselves? They most certainly are. Nature thrives in diversity. It knows perfectly well what it is doing to ensure not only the safety of the human gene, but also its evolution and emancipation.
Compared to Japanese TV programs, TED seems to have lots of interesting and profound speeches. In particular, the topics on gender diversity makes me think about this and that.
I hope that more people will emulate this attitude and interested in gender diversity in Japan too. Everyone has the right to be happy.
0:12 2:37
he gives off robin williams vibes which makes it harder to not cry
Yes I was thinking that too! When the picture came up of him, I was like is that Robin Williams, it can't be.
Johnny Rocket satanic? He was more in-line with the fruits of the Spirit than anything satanic
Johnny Rocket lmao ur joking right
Pseudo Pulk
Its his mannerisms and accent
Im actually wondering if they are from a similar area?
Yeah :(
Came here from a comment on an anti-LGBTQ vid, aND I AM SO HAPPY
Haha just had an argument on another video with someone with... let’s just say ‘less than average intelligence’ on another video and I was getting nowhere with him, he just kept repeating the same arguments that made no sense again and again. In the end, I linked this video to him. He’s more than likely not gonna watch it, and if he does he’s either not going to understand it or stick his heels in and say it’s fake... I don’t really care, but watching it again made me feel better 😂
Lol Why does my name matter yeah what was the video and what was the argument he made
@The spiffing wisconsinite I see you like Yorkshire tea... (you’re clearly a spiff fan, love that)
the "we snuggle for existence" hit me hard unexpectedly. I nearly spit out my coffee holding back a cry.
Such a wonderful talk ❤️
The law in India which describes homosexuality "against the order of nature," was in fact actually framed by an Englishman, and imposed upon Indians by the colonial government in 1860. Unfortunately, the law remains effective in India even after independence.
Arsh Barot 😢😥
himanshu singh
don't worry things will get better
Arsh Barot lol when I moved to Spain I became friends with this dude who had also moved to Barcelona for art school. He was Indian and it was his first time out of the country. We became like bffs but this one day I asked if he had done anything with a guy before and he got sooooo offended i was actually surprised. He was tryna play it cool but I could tell it really bothered him. He said he would've punched me if we were in India. I was shocked he took it so badly considering how accepting and open he was in regard to me and my boyfriend at the time.
Matthew Bryan
Indian men get very defensive when it comes to anything 'gay'. They are cool about it from a distance - as long as it has nothing to do with them. I think this is because straight men in general think that being close to anything gay somehow makes them less manly and society will judge them for being effeminate. Also, the ignorance about gay people is extremely high.
Arsh Barot yeah I think it's sooo unnecessary when I see straight guys on RUclips being dared to "kiss" or whatever. You know how they make such a huge deal about it and scream and afterwards they'll grab some damn bleach and listening to gargle with. It's just so extra. One of my best friends is straight and very secure while himself and doesn't really care how people view him. He was curious about butt stuff so we actually fucked. Then afterwards I figured like with the other straight guys I've been with, we would never ever discuss it again. But to my surprise he was so secure with himself that he shamelessly told a lot of his guy friends about our experiences. It was really refreshing and actually gave me hope lol
"It's in diversity that we find our collective strength." I could not agree more.
Shame that the rulers find more power in uniformity rather than diversity.
Diversity of what? "Diversity is our strength" is just a nice-sounding platitude.
@@RavenclawFtW3295 diversity period. But on the most fundamental level, without diversity our species would simply not change and evolve. We would stagnate. Or do you want and example for which every form of diversity is good? Cos now I'm wondering if you actually watched the video?
I agree, it is our strength. Unfortunately, diversity is one-sided today. The side that preaches diversity is the most intolerant to difference of worldviews and beliefs.
@@rudedude62 I don't think that is necessarily true. To me, it seems the left encourages diversity and some far left people take it to the very extrememes, becoming themselves, very intolerant. Then some far right people, seeing these intolerant left wing people start calling the *whole* left hypocrites. Their particular favourite is to claim the left hates white straight males and the like despite the fact many left wing people are straight white males. Because the people claiming this are for the most part, straight males people become wary of this whole demographic. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy continuing in an never ending cycle. In reality, these extreme far left and far right people and their ideals are far more similar to each other than the majority of more centre right and left wing people. Unfortunately social media seems has given voice to these extremists and to have fuelled hatred between the sides. Misunderstanding is rife because extremists have no desire to understand each other. Each sure wants to believe the worst of the other, painting the other as villains, and monsters without really listening to what they're trying to say.
They make us better.
In proverbial tears. Beautiful. So true. Bless you for spreading truth.
This was amazing, hope many people watch this
Watching in 2020 and when he mentions toilet paper 👀
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Edit: 14:44
slip top - I thought the same! 😄
I actually thought this was from 2020 as its been recommended yesterday
I’ve got 4 bottles of hand sanitizer, if you need the goods, I got em.
HAHAHAH
Man was ahead of his time