It's painful to watch. All those childhood memories of lying coming back. Lying to best friends, family, self. Right up into adulthood. First kiss at 29. Imagine that.
All I can say is that I admire you for being strong for such a long time. I wish you to have the best in the future, everything you wish for. We can only make it better with our children, the children of our neighbors and friends. It's important that it's not only spoken to be okay, but portrayed through every media a kid sees when growing up. The media that is showing every kid 100% that only being straight is an option. I really wish the best for you, man - much love ❤️
Because people who discriminate don't want to hear it, don't care, and won't change. They want to stay closed minded. I think there's no point in reasoning with them, we just need to exist openly and eventually they'll have to get over it, or die out and let the young generations learn from their mistakes.
i completely understand what he means about you not having to be bullied, as someone who has never had any homophobia directed at them specifically, i still feel this underlying shame and never knew why
What do you mean by proper englishman? I am curious. Do you not consider people who are not immeasurably wealthy and have a posh accent to be "proper" people? That, Wesley Syndor, is class discrimination in a nutshell. It is destroying the lives of young men and women across England, that their accents, through no fault of their own, are constantly weaponised against them in the name of policing what is "proper" and who deserves a break and who does not.
When my nephew was about 4 years old, he asked me why my boyfriend and I lived together. I told him because we love each other. And then he said “oh, like mommy and daddy?” Yep, I said. And he simply replied with “ok”. And that was it, nothing major, nothing difficult to understand. He simply played with his legos. We’re his favorite uncles.
That's so sweet! And I think it's a clear demonstration of the fact that children can't be prejudiced by default. All prejudice and bigotry is learned.
Great Speaker! He’s Absolutely 100% RIGHT! I know as a 57 year old man who has to still pretend to be “Straight” due to operating a Diner for the past 35 years with my partner. When I came out to 1 server who I had working 8 years with in 3 months I lost over 30% of business. I had a predominant male clientele. You know, The Good Ole Boys. And the ones that stayed looked at me so different after. Conversations cut short. Many families stop coming on the weekends that had been coming for years. It broke my heart. I thought this would not happen on this scale. But he’s right 40% still are disgusted to have anything to do with LGBT people. Even thought we don’t exploit it EVER. People PRETEND to not have issue. It’s too bad.
Truth is important and being true to yourself is what makes life worthwhile despite the prejudice that may accompany it. Truth matters and is liberating!
This is terrible... Makes one feel like who they are as a person is not worth much to others. And some of those model straight people are likely to be doing trully heinous things behind closed doors. I'd say, you do you! You may loose some, but you'll win some too. (PS - Some thick customers you must have had there, 35 years and no one could tell?? Fooled them well! Haha)
RainbowRoxGirl Right??!?! I totally remember how when I was a little kid, I didn’t have any interest in girls (ew, cooties!), and that my interest in boys was just the corollary of that. Then other boys started taking an interest in girls, and I didn’t. Just figured it’d come later. And then when romantic interest did begin to sprout in me, it was like “Oh... :/“
@Dnf Bdb Yes. Because they grow up watching and reading romantic *kids* content that portray crushes and romantic [straight] relationships, even between characters their age. They grow up with love stories that idealize romance; would you rather they just not see any type of romance, ever, until they're "old enough"?
@Dnf Bdb It's not just about relationships, it's also about acknowledging that LGBT people exist. It sounds like you didn't understand the video. Why is it ok for kids to be exposed to straight relationships all their lives but not LGBT ones? That clearly shows that you think it's not right being LGBT! Also saying "something like that" should be taught at home again shows how you have a clear issue with LGBT people. You clearly don't care about the depression and the suicide rate that comes with being LGBT, if you did, you wouldn't try and stop the next generation from learning the basics and going to school to actually be taught!
I've watched quite a few Ted talks and I think it's mostly the microphone direction and placement that doesn't pick up much if any audience reactions, even when they are present. I doubt the crowd was completely silent.
i work with kids. i was talking to a group of them when a 6-year-old asked me if i had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. it made me so happy. that's parenting done right.
This seems to go hand-in-hand with teaching/showing your children how to be open-minded. It would solve many more problems than the stigma about LGBT and i actually think its one of the essential things a parent should give their children : shelter, wisdom, emotional intelligence and an open mind. Sounds like a good start to me
+[PaintrainX] Luckily, LGBT and these other "Identity"-based issues are ones that it's literally impossible to force people into, be they children or non-children. And pretty much all parents seem to know that too, because I've never heard of a parent who actively tried to push an identity onto their children. A career path, sure. But an identity? Never.
Ahsim Nreiziev Did you even watch the video? The point is that parents don’t HAVE to push for their children to learn to be straight. When the TV their children watch, the stories they’re told, etc. never mention LGBT people, it’s not seen as an option. Straight is the default, straight is the only option they’re told they have. The only way things will improve is if LGBT issues are *acknowledged* in children’s media, and LGBT people are presented as normal alongside all the straight people. It just needs to be an option.
@@stephaniecapelache8502 And food, I'd assume. Unless by parent he means feral wolves. Sorry, that's not fair to wolves, they don't let their young go hungry. However, 1/5 children in the US doesn't have a reliable source of food.
This is why we told my niece from age 4 on that she might marry a woman and might marry a man and only time will tell. We wanted her to know from very young that she could be anything and would be loved and accepted. Some family members were worried she was too young or we would confuse her, but I just never wanted her to have to "come out" or worry if she would be accepted.
Been doing this ever since my mum tried to force heteronormativity on my 18 month old son. I emphasise being their own authentic selves and openness to discuss thoughts and ideas. My 8 year old was comfortable telling me she sometimes felt like a boy. I’m reasonably confident she isn’t trans, but she is exploring who she is and where she fits in the world and I will support her whatever she discovers along the way. I don’t really understand how a loving parent could not do this.
Just_AutumnYT She was talking to him about marrying a nice girl and giving her great grandchildren. I said he might prefer boys and she claimed he wouldn’t “do that to her”. I made sure to let him know I support him no matter what and will love him whoever else he happens to love.
So glad I found this. Can we please have this playing on every screen in Florida. I'm 75. We have come a long way but it has taken way too long and the threat from the Republicans, if you can still call them that, is frightening. Vote! Everyone's freedom depends on it here in the USA and everywhere. Thank you Tim Ramsey.
That three year journey of trying to figure out your self is a long journey, but it gets longer when you come out and people ask if you are sure. I’ve thought about this for three f*ing years and now you think that I’m not sure? That I just came out for the fun of it?
Anonymous Change IKR I’m trans and my parents tell me I’m too young to make the decision of transitioning right now, and that I should wait until my 20’s and have a successful career first lol And I get that. But I’ve been seeing a therapist about it for four years and I don’t think I can take much more
Tommy Nook four years after coming out gee that’s a long time, you can tell your therapist that and since it is a medical condition in the DSM-5 you might be able to get more stuff accomplished through them Good luck and I’m sorry for you
As a 4-year-old, I wanted to “marry” my best friend of the same gender and live together. So I asked my mom “can two girls marry each other?”, her answer was “yes”, and she explained all about homosexuality. I didn’t think it was any weird, neither did I judge, because children are kind of “programmed” to believe in what their parents say, coz’ it’s all for their best. Since I hadn’t heard anything else, I didn’t know until I was 5 years old (when I first started school) that people actually DIDN’T KNOW about homosexuality, or even was AGAINST IT. I was shocked. These kids didn’t get informed at an early age, and the results were instead that they listen to the “cool kids” and repeat. Awareness at a young age is more important than one might think, and the younger the better. Imagine, if all children got to know about this at the age I did, age 4, and in the same respectful way? Homophobia wouldn’t exist. Being afraid of coming out of the closet wouldn’t exist.
An awesome articulate young man who speaks about a healthy way of allowing each child to discover themselves. His talk takes me back 45+ years to high school and my own struggles to be myself. Bravo Tim. The world is changing and you are helping that process.
Fantastic talk! This brilliant young man spoke of my experiences as child and teenager, however that was in the late 1970's early 80's! How tremendously sad it is that 42 years later, in the second decade of the 21st century, we queer folk are still confronting and managing the same ignorance and fighting the same prejudices we have been facing, it seems, forever. It does 'get better' though very slowly.
My father was in his late 70's when I told him. After his death my brother told me that my father was proud of me. That I had had the guts to tell him and to be honest. MR. TED, thank you for your work. You are certainly an ambassador for the LGBTQ community. I wish you all the goodwill and happiness in the world.
Two things: first, you are outstandingly handsome, young man! That doesn’t matter for the purposes of your talk but I can’t help thinking so. Second, thank you very much for your talk! We need to hear this kind of message. I was older than you are now when I came out and after 25 years I’m still trying to learn to love myself, to erase and rewrite as I think you said. The damage just goes too deep for any sort of quick fix. So we need brave people like you to stand up and say these things. I say brave because I’m quite sure I wouldn’t be able to. Thank you.
My parents made a promise that no matter how I turned out, they would always love me. I came out as bi and my mom took me and a few friends to a pride parade
Coming out to my mum, who is amazing and supportive, when i was 16. She just feared the life I would have to lead and said "Just make you know for sure and don't tell everyone" That stuck with me for so long and made me doubt myself for so many years. She didn't mean it maliciously, but it made me so afraid to tell other family members and people. Took me an extra 15 years to come out to my dad properly. Side note my mum then learnt so much and is the biggest ally ever now, she just didn't know what the correct words were to say to someone coming out. It's VERY important!
I was sitting on the sofa with my partner at a friend’s house about 20 years ago. My friend’s little boy who was around 5 or 6 I think, turned, looked at us then back to his dad and said “Daddy, why are X & Y holding hands?” My friend said simply, “Because they love each other, just like mummy and daddy”. “Oh”, said his little boy and turned round and continued playing with his toys. I started crying at how simple and how profound that was and how so much pain and suffering could be avoided if all fathers were like that.
If you are worried a child will have a harder life for being LGBTQ+... if you don’t accept and support them, their life WILL be harder. ALL of our lives, will be harder.
When I have children, whether I'm with a man or a woman (I'm bi) I'm going to teach them that people fall in love and that's beautiful and it doesn't matter the genders of the people and I'll try to think of a way to explain trans that isn't too confusing so they can start to understand
When I explained trans to my younger siblings (my FTM friend had come over and the last time they had saw him he was pretransition), I just said, "Well, Brocks brain is a boy brain, but he had a girl body. Now he's going to make his body a boy body so he feels happier." It's not the best explanation, but it worked for them.
The LGBT community are innocent people. Being against equal rights and human rights is not ok. Religious zealots are the ones bullying others. If your religion is telling you to hate others, find another religion to belong to. One that is not controlling and lets you be yourself. One that preaches about a Loving God. The true God of Love.
8 year old me who was scared and hated being made the way I am needed this. I've accepted myself, but it took a LONG time and I had no idea that other people were like me. It needs to be talked about more.
Answer: no. If you can explain that a mommy can love a daddy, then you can teach that anyone can love anyone else, and you find out who you'll love when you're older.
Thank you for doing this! Completely agree that the experience of growing up LGBTQ is like living alone on an island, like a blind or deaf child growing up in a family that doesn’t know how to communicate with them. Those children do much better when they connect with communities outside their family that share their differences.
Go to Russia or various other muslim-arab countries then, if you're so motivated. But ofc you can't, people from different cultural backgrounds have different views towards lgtv. If you go there and fight homophobia im sure you're smart enough to know what your faith would be.
This really hit me. I still struggle with coming out because my family has never once told me if they will accept me. I know in my heart that they will, but I've never been told so. They never reassured me that that will be the case and if I didn't know that they are all very accepting people, I would be scared shitless every day.
I once tried to show a video to students about the basics of the LGBT community that was 7 minutes long and very simple. My school principals put me so many rocks in the way that it was impossible to achieve. They wanted me to ask each teacher if as parents they'd teach their kids. They also wanted me to give the teachers a talk, then the parents a talk and FINALLY the students. I hate my school so much for that. Even if nationally they are required to talk about the LGBT community, because they are a private school, they can choose not to. The principals were worried about the image they would leave of their "Catholic School" instead of actually TEACHING children to be respectful and allies to the LGBT community.
His speech was immensely powerful that I became emotional as he spoke each word. so much knowledge in this small clip..a knowledge that should be shared with the world.
My friend had two dads and literally nobody cared. It was like "ok..." and then we went to play on his Commodore 64. It was only when we grew up I understood how lucky we were growing up in a progressive culture. The thought that it was different never even hit me until adulthood. It was just "Jesper's dad and Marc got married" and it was perfectly normal and all the kids liked Marc because he had a cool red sports car and played in a rock band and had an ear ring.
He is 100% correct. Pretending like people don’t exist until they are a certain age is nonsensical. No child should have to feel like their narrative doesn’t exist - or live a long life of lies based on a lack of early age transparency.
We LGBT+are forced to learn, as kids as we grow up, how to lie and fake, all in the name of making other people happy (especially unaccepting parents). Raising your kids under your non-acceptance won't prevent them from loving whoever their hearts decide to love, it's only gonna make the process of coming out longer and more painful. Love your children to the point you realize they're not you.
He hits so many bull-eyes in so short a time that I didn't have time to cry about it. Even in the most evolved countries, children are assumed to be straight and everyone acts accordingly. That has to stop.
I'm just now starting to realize that I live in a bubble and need to become more of an activist about this. I forget about young people figuring it out and I guess it's still quite hard for them to this day.
My parents were very good about teaching me to except others but when I came out as nonbinary they were shocked and did not except me, in a way. They said that I was setting myself up for disappointment bye saying that my pronouns are they/them. I am still trying to get over this but my aunt, uncle, and his boyfriend have been very supportive. This made me so happy to watch, thank you!
We need to stop talking about homosexuality or heterosexuality to our children, just talk about love. There’s no boundaries to love, especially gender.
Asexuality/aromanticism need to be taught too! I didn't even know that was a possibility for me so I thought there was something medically/psychologically wrong with me for a couple of years, it was a weird time
Yeah, a lot of things need to improve. Just mentioning that “homosexuals and transsexuals exist” doesn’t really count as education. We need to teach everything else. Bisexuality, asexuality, aromanticism, non-binary, gender non-conforming people. And explain what they are, how it works and feels etc.
My youngest daughter was 4 years old when I knew she was not straight. Neither her father or I ever gave a damn that she wasn't & it was something we treated as completely normal (cuz it IS normal & common throughout all living things on this planet). Because of this choice, my youngest daughter didn't ever have to have the agonizing coming out to the parents moment or worry that she wouldn't be accepted & that went for almost all of our extended family (on my side) as well, right down to my now 93 year old grandmother. She just got to live her truth without judgment. It's made her already difficult life so much easier than it would have otherwise been had this not been the case. If you ask me what is "unnatural" is a parent abandoning a child for something so silly. If you have unnatural parents; I'm so sorry. You deserved so much better. You can make a new family of your own & toxic people don't need to remain part of your life. Go out, find your people & live the happiest life you can because you only get one. Good luck & you deserve the love you want.
Excellent speech! We’ve made good progress over the 4 years since the video was uploaded, though we’ve also seen much pushback with anti LGBT laws, book banning, etc in the United States. I’m hopeful that in another 4 years we’ll continue to make progress and that one day we’ll reach acceptance for all.
I'm so glad that I've been taught about lgbt my whole life. Way back when my parents first spoke to my about a future partner (I was maybe 3 and just started watching Disney), they always said "future boyfriend or girlfriend". It's always taught me that my feelings will never be wrong. I remember the rumours about my year 5 teacher being in a relationship with my year 6 teacher (both women). Everyone thought that it was great because we were 10 and 10 year olds don't care about that stuff
@ No. This is what they said to my grandma because her parents said that she didn't have to marry my grandad when he got her pregnant. I want to have a happy family so I'll make sure that happens
sometimes a boy like another boy or a girl likes another girl and that’s totally fine treat other people with respect and decency it doesn’t need to be more complicated than that
Me, around a three and a half year mark ever since I realized something isn't "normal": *yeah....no coming out for me* No way this is gonna happen before I'm financially independent from my parents
Thank you so much for this 🙏 This idea of not being born into one's minority community is brand new to me but makes a lot of sense to me!! Thanks for bringing up concepts like these. It's soothing to understand better what we've been, sometimes still are going through..
This is so well articulated. I was so ashamed from 12-14 until I told my friends and they completely supported me and loved me. And my parents were ok they were just confused but it still took my mum some time to come round and that was scary because you don't know what to do to avoid losing your parent's love when you can't change this thing about you. She did come round spectacularly. The beauty of his argument outshines his own.
It hit me when he said: no child should do that journey on their own.
Harder than dads fist or not?
You find out who you are not any one else
@@marciaosullivan3200 ikr.
@@marciaosullivan3200
One is better off when they have the tools to do the job.
@@ifihadahammer7856 what job
It's painful to watch. All those childhood memories of lying coming back. Lying to best friends, family, self. Right up into adulthood.
First kiss at 29. Imagine that.
All I can say is that I admire you for being strong for such a long time. I wish you to have the best in the future, everything you wish for. We can only make it better with our children, the children of our neighbors and friends. It's important that it's not only spoken to be okay, but portrayed through every media a kid sees when growing up. The media that is showing every kid 100% that only being straight is an option.
I really wish the best for you, man - much love ❤️
First kiss at 26. Grew up in Indiana go figure.
It’s comments like these that’s scared me out the closet a year ago, I’m 20 now and first kiss at 19 😭. Can only imagine what it was like for youz
HUGE COMPASSIONATE HUG
Andy Andie I didn’t have my first kiss at 29 I was actually 13 but still just as painful
He’s right we only teach discrimination to those being discriminated and not to those who discriminate
PREACH!!!
Those people refuse to listen.
@@lootcat1230 Those people's parents refuse to listen
@@HarriW in gen z they don't exist
Because people who discriminate don't want to hear it, don't care, and won't change. They want to stay closed minded. I think there's no point in reasoning with them, we just need to exist openly and eventually they'll have to get over it, or die out and let the young generations learn from their mistakes.
Born an island. Man, did that hit me.
And it isn't like that for just LGBT people, either. As an Autistic person, that one was soul-piercing for me as well.
I started crying there. It’s exactly how it felt for me for so many years put into words
Me too
Me too
But I don’t wanna be an island
i completely understand what he means about you not having to be bullied, as someone who has never had any homophobia directed at them specifically, i still feel this underlying shame and never knew why
Hearing a proper English man saying YAS queen is now knocked off my bucket list
your comment is something
but the fact that that is dodie
What do you mean by proper englishman? I am curious. Do you not consider people who are not immeasurably wealthy and have a posh accent to be "proper" people? That, Wesley Syndor, is class discrimination in a nutshell. It is destroying the lives of young men and women across England, that their accents, through no fault of their own, are constantly weaponised against them in the name of policing what is "proper" and who deserves a break and who does not.
S G H they mean the classic fancy English man when they say proper, this comment is meant to be a joke. Calm down.
@@2meroyn bruuhh calm down
@@sleepy0098 Yes but we English, don't really like stereotypes or whatever you were trying to say.
When my nephew was about 4 years old, he asked me why my boyfriend and I lived together. I told him because we love each other. And then he said “oh, like mommy and daddy?” Yep, I said. And he simply replied with “ok”.
And that was it, nothing major, nothing difficult to understand. He simply played with his legos. We’re his favorite uncles.
That's so sweet! And I think it's a clear demonstration of the fact that children can't be prejudiced by default. All prejudice and bigotry is learned.
🥹
What a handsome and well-spoken man! If only more people could think like him.
hi grandma
And look like him. Yummy!
@@hrh4961 ok xd
@@laikaperraespacial6025
Galeee galeee 😂😂😂
Oh shut up. ....perhaps you could have a more interesting, important remark???????
can he come to every school??? students need him, schools are not making people well aware,, also like i’m thanking him because he’s great
your local yeemo I need this to be present in every school so we can stop suicide in young LGBTQ youth
I need him in my house
@@Inyourlap slow down here buckaroo
I need his number
Can he come to my house?
Did he actually say lesbihonest instead of let's be honest?
Lmao, Im really hoping so
InLoveWithBooks I think he said let’s be honest but his British accent make it sound like it. I thought so too..
No
InLoveWithBooks oh god Dammit I can’t unhear that-
😂
Great Speaker! He’s Absolutely 100% RIGHT! I know as a 57 year old man who has to still pretend to be “Straight” due to operating a Diner for the past 35 years with my partner. When I came out to 1 server who I had working 8 years with in 3 months I lost over 30% of business. I had a predominant male clientele. You know, The Good Ole Boys. And the ones that stayed looked at me so different after. Conversations cut short. Many families stop coming on the weekends that had been coming for years. It broke my heart. I thought this would not happen on this scale. But he’s right 40% still are disgusted to have anything to do with LGBT people. Even thought we don’t exploit it EVER. People PRETEND to not have issue. It’s too bad.
gene978 So sorry to hear your story. :(
Truth is important and being true to yourself is what makes life worthwhile despite the prejudice that may accompany it. Truth matters and is liberating!
This is terrible... Makes one feel like who they are as a person is not worth much to others. And some of those model straight people are likely to be doing trully heinous things behind closed doors. I'd say, you do you! You may loose some, but you'll win some too. (PS - Some thick customers you must have had there, 35 years and no one could tell?? Fooled them well! Haha)
Its their right and irs your right to freely express yourself and themselves. They expressed themselves by leaving, not discriminating you.
I don’t beleive im asexual I just say I don’t really love anyone except my family
Me: **grows up thinking I'm straight**
Puberty: Well, about that...
😂
RainbowRoxGirl Right??!?! I totally remember how when I was a little kid, I didn’t have any interest in girls (ew, cooties!), and that my interest in boys was just the corollary of that. Then other boys started taking an interest in girls, and I didn’t. Just figured it’d come later. And then when romantic interest did begin to sprout in me, it was like “Oh... :/“
Antonio Tejada haha same
@@tookitogo others make it sound like they knew which they liked when they were 2
this is so me lol
Children must know that there are all kinds of relationships because that is what they will encounter in daily life, all of their lives.
Dnf Bdb I think it’s better to let children know how the world is like instead of trying to shelter them about realities.
Yeah, including asexual relationships.
@Dnf Bdb Yes. Because they grow up watching and reading romantic *kids* content that portray crushes and romantic [straight] relationships, even between characters their age. They grow up with love stories that idealize romance; would you rather they just not see any type of romance, ever, until they're "old enough"?
And I'm one of the children that my parents won't understand me
@Dnf Bdb It's not just about relationships, it's also about acknowledging that LGBT people exist. It sounds like you didn't understand the video. Why is it ok for kids to be exposed to straight relationships all their lives but not LGBT ones? That clearly shows that you think it's not right being LGBT! Also saying "something like that" should be taught at home again shows how you have a clear issue with LGBT people. You clearly don't care about the depression and the suicide rate that comes with being LGBT, if you did, you wouldn't try and stop the next generation from learning the basics and going to school to actually be taught!
Whatever age your kid is when you start talking to them about heterosexuality is the same age you can/should be talking to them about homosexuality.
Lol no.
SkyNet why
@@Triumvirate3 indeed, why not?
@@Triumvirate3 yes
Louder for those in the back, please
Me before puberty: Has crush on a girl
Me after puberty: Has crush on like 7 boys at once
Yeah same
sammmeee
M E
Same but I’m a girl so the other way around ya know
Same
nobody laughed at his jokes in the beginning and it made me feel so bad
Eleanor Gordon British audiences 🤷🏻♂️
@@yvo84 ppl who's sense of humour isnt as sensitive as a ur teeth when having ice cream*
Yvo Mak British humor the best though innit
I've watched quite a few Ted talks and I think it's mostly the microphone direction and placement that doesn't pick up much if any audience reactions, even when they are present. I doubt the crowd was completely silent.
i did lmao on my own
I really wish everybody I know listened to this talk
Martín Mejía well, send it to them or share it on social media.
Paul Vargas maybe he cant? Maybe he’s not out yet?
I wish TED would try to regain some respectability
@@laurenpage3548 How is this not respectable?
@@laurenpage3548 seriously, how it this TED talk not respectable?
The guy is incredible
i work with kids. i was talking to a group of them when a 6-year-old asked me if i had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. it made me so happy. that's parenting done right.
that child has the best frickin parents on this planet
Totally!
This seems to go hand-in-hand with teaching/showing your children how to be open-minded. It would solve many more problems than the stigma about LGBT and i actually think its one of the essential things a parent should give their children : shelter, wisdom, emotional intelligence and an open mind. Sounds like a good start to me
True. The problem starts with forcing children into anything. Educate them and let them form their own ideas while they grow up.
+[PaintrainX]
Luckily, LGBT and these other "Identity"-based issues are ones that it's literally impossible to force people into, be they children or non-children.
And pretty much all parents seem to know that too, because I've never heard of a parent who actively tried to push an identity onto their children. A career path, sure. But an identity? Never.
Ahsim Nreiziev Did you even watch the video? The point is that parents don’t HAVE to push for their children to learn to be straight. When the TV their children watch, the stories they’re told, etc. never mention LGBT people, it’s not seen as an option. Straight is the default, straight is the only option they’re told they have. The only way things will improve is if LGBT issues are *acknowledged* in children’s media, and LGBT people are presented as normal alongside all the straight people. It just needs to be an option.
By shelter you also include love and affection?
@@stephaniecapelache8502 And food, I'd assume. Unless by parent he means feral wolves.
Sorry, that's not fair to wolves, they don't let their young go hungry. However, 1/5 children in the US doesn't have a reliable source of food.
"Was your child ever too young to learn about being straight?" Finally, someone who understands that!
KAREN: Ugh, my daughter is four- she's too young to know about the gays.
ALSO KAREN: [to four-year old daughter] Do you have a boooyfriennnd?
Exactly! Why do people just assume that everyone is like them? *Bold of you to assume I'm straight.*
As if being straight is the default
@@SalixAcroCat YES THANK YOU
@@froggdoggs8551 yeah that's why people have to come out
don’t let your child be the reason for another to hate their childhood. i literally have tears in my eyes listening to his last few lines.
He must be admired for this talk.
This is why we told my niece from age 4 on that she might marry a woman and might marry a man and only time will tell. We wanted her to know from very young that she could be anything and would be loved and accepted. Some family members were worried she was too young or we would confuse her, but I just never wanted her to have to "come out" or worry if she would be accepted.
That is really cute and sweet
Or might never get married!
this is so great
Or they might marry someone who isn’t a man or a woman. Or any other gender identity.
Thank u for starting her education so early ❤️
Been doing this ever since my mum tried to force heteronormativity on my 18 month old son. I emphasise being their own authentic selves and openness to discuss thoughts and ideas. My 8 year old was comfortable telling me she sometimes felt like a boy. I’m reasonably confident she isn’t trans, but she is exploring who she is and where she fits in the world and I will support her whatever she discovers along the way. I don’t really understand how a loving parent could not do this.
Weimar problems require Weimar solutions.
Just_AutumnYT She was talking to him about marrying a nice girl and giving her great grandchildren. I said he might prefer boys and she claimed he wouldn’t “do that to her”. I made sure to let him know I support him no matter what and will love him whoever else he happens to love.
@@Dee-pv8cy you are a great parent.❤
@@Dee-pv8cy Wow. You are fierce..
Just_AutumnYT yeah the problem was that if they’ll do that to them at 18 months she will do it at 6 years etc
A number of truths to think about. No child show have to grow up in shame and confusion.
Shame for what lgbt ffs be thy self should be motto
@@nultyjack8219 It's easier said than done, so don't minimize the challenges.
So glad I found this. Can we please have this playing on every screen in Florida. I'm 75. We have come a long way but it has taken way too long and the threat from the Republicans, if you can still call them that, is frightening. Vote! Everyone's freedom depends on it here in the USA and everywhere. Thank you Tim Ramsey.
We struggled, we suffered, and now, we’re prepared to fight, and fight again, and keep fighting.
I love this but it’s a whole other issue when your family is religious 😢
you can say that again
De VILLIERS Grobler I love this but it’s a whole other issue when your family is religious 😢
@@devilliersgrobler3871 that again
Festive Duck I love this but it’s a whole other issue when your family is religious😢
Religious nuts are the worst
People: "KIDS ARE TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND THIS STUFF"
Same people: *ask their 6yo son if he likes any girl at school*
OMG YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Truth!
Yet teaches them abt. Religion at 2Y old.
Or worse, actively ships their toddler son to some girl or vice versa. (based on experience) 💀
So true.
'was your child ever to young to learn about being straight?' Tim, you are an inspiration
That three year journey of trying to figure out your self is a long journey, but it gets longer when you come out and people ask if you are sure.
I’ve thought about this for three f*ing years and now you think that I’m not sure? That I just came out for the fun of it?
Anonymous Change
IKR
I’m trans and my parents tell me I’m too young to make the decision of transitioning right now, and that I should wait until my 20’s and have a successful career first lol
And I get that. But I’ve been seeing a therapist about it for four years and I don’t think I can take much more
Tommy Nook four years after coming out gee that’s a long time, you can tell your therapist that and since it is a medical condition in the DSM-5 you might be able to get more stuff accomplished through them
Good luck and I’m sorry for you
Anonymous Change
Thanks
Stand in your truth, no matter how long it takes to reach it, and understand. I have faith in your journey.
As a 4-year-old, I wanted to “marry” my best friend of the same gender and live together. So I asked my mom “can two girls marry each other?”, her answer was “yes”, and she explained all about homosexuality.
I didn’t think it was any weird, neither did I judge, because children are kind of “programmed” to believe in what their parents say, coz’ it’s all for their best. Since I hadn’t heard anything else, I didn’t know until I was 5 years old (when I first started school) that people actually DIDN’T KNOW about homosexuality, or even was AGAINST IT. I was shocked. These kids didn’t get informed at an early age, and the results were instead that they listen to the “cool kids” and repeat.
Awareness at a young age is more important than one might think, and the younger the better. Imagine, if all children got to know about this at the age I did, age 4, and in the same respectful way? Homophobia wouldn’t exist. Being afraid of coming out of the closet wouldn’t exist.
Your mom is great.
Wow
What an eloquent young man.
An awesome articulate young man who speaks about a healthy way of allowing each child to discover themselves. His talk takes me back 45+ years to high school and my own struggles to be myself. Bravo Tim. The world is changing and you are helping that process.
This speech is the best ever for understanding the isolation your children go thru.
Fantastic talk! This brilliant young man spoke of my experiences as child and teenager, however that was in the late 1970's early 80's! How tremendously sad it is that 42 years later, in the second decade of the 21st century, we queer folk are still confronting and managing the same ignorance and fighting the same prejudices we have been facing, it seems, forever. It does 'get better' though very slowly.
I second this, LGBT folk can't help but feel like they speak on behalf of everybody
Yep, just saw news of anti lgbtq protesters trying to ruin a pride parade and the comments praising
My father was in his late 70's when I told him. After his death my brother told me that my father was proud of me. That I had had the guts to tell him and to be honest.
MR. TED, thank you for your work. You are certainly an ambassador for the LGBTQ community. I wish you all the goodwill and happiness in the world.
Cusimi Looking um... the company is called ted. his name isn’t literally ted
The problem is homophobia, not homosexuals. Homophobia is a choice. Homosexuality isn't.
Loved the talk
Kevin Abroad how is homophobia a choice?
@@makaki6900 Well... how is it not?!
@@makaki6900 lol what?
makaki well, you can choose to be accepting, or you can choose to ignore it and subsequently be closed minded
Yes
Children are not born with hatred nor discrimination; adults force them on kids to feel comfortable, a parent doing a ‘good job’…
Two things: first, you are outstandingly handsome, young man! That doesn’t matter for the purposes of your talk but I can’t help thinking so. Second, thank you very much for your talk! We need to hear this kind of message. I was older than you are now when I came out and after 25 years I’m still trying to learn to love myself, to erase and rewrite as I think you said. The damage just goes too deep for any sort of quick fix. So we need brave people like you to stand up and say these things. I say brave because I’m quite sure I wouldn’t be able to. Thank you.
Who is we?
@@thenarrowpath6661 Me and many other people, I would have loved hearing talk like this when I was growing up!
Booms humans
@The Four Horsemen identity politics
My parents made a promise that no matter how I turned out, they would always love me. I came out as bi and my mom took me and a few friends to a pride parade
Can we talk about that jawline? GOD
Yes finally a comment about that 😭
@@carlosdelins8070 shoulders, anyone?
Yeh that definitely helped when listening to this video lmaoo
Eh?😳
Bruh just everything about him 💯
Coming out to my mum, who is amazing and supportive, when i was 16. She just feared the life I would have to lead and said "Just make you know for sure and don't tell everyone" That stuck with me for so long and made me doubt myself for so many years. She didn't mean it maliciously, but it made me so afraid to tell other family members and people. Took me an extra 15 years to come out to my dad properly. Side note my mum then learnt so much and is the biggest ally ever now, she just didn't know what the correct words were to say to someone coming out. It's VERY important!
I was sitting on the sofa with my partner at a friend’s house about 20 years ago. My friend’s little boy who was around 5 or 6 I think, turned, looked at us then back to his dad and said “Daddy, why are X & Y holding hands?” My friend said simply, “Because they love each other, just like mummy and daddy”. “Oh”, said his little boy and turned round and continued playing with his toys. I started crying at how simple and how profound that was and how so much pain and suffering could be avoided if all fathers were like that.
Despite being 4 years old, this talk hasn't aged because it's still relevant in 2023. There is still heteronomativity.
If you are worried a child will have a harder life for being LGBTQ+... if you don’t accept and support them, their life WILL be harder. ALL of our lives, will be harder.
When I have children, whether I'm with a man or a woman (I'm bi) I'm going to teach them that people fall in love and that's beautiful and it doesn't matter the genders of the people and I'll try to think of a way to explain trans that isn't too confusing so they can start to understand
You dont need to explain anything except to be open to you and address issues they bring up to you
When I explained trans to my younger siblings (my FTM friend had come over and the last time they had saw him he was pretransition), I just said, "Well, Brocks brain is a boy brain, but he had a girl body. Now he's going to make his body a boy body so he feels happier."
It's not the best explanation, but it worked for them.
That's lovely we should all do this
Stay away from children, groomer
Is my child too young to learn about being straight?
Wow, another lead balloon to your credit. How many is that today? Seven, already?
honestly would a child even comprehend that even I don't .
@@funny.gon-12 being straight?
being in love in general .
and new years happend for me.
Teach them about acceptance
If they’re old enough to ask questions they deserve an honest (yet age appropriate) answer
The LGBT community are innocent people. Being against equal rights and human rights is not ok. Religious zealots are the ones bullying others. If your religion is telling you to hate others, find another religion to belong to. One that is not controlling and lets you be yourself. One that preaches about a Loving God. The true God of Love.
you have never seen the lgbtqaiP(retentious)2s++ commiunity attack eachother have you?
Aren't you telling religious people what to do
kaiyodei You’re seeing the loud, and annoying, minority. We’re just here for a good time where we don’t get dehumanised, my dude
@@kaiyodei not a furry talking chile.. don't those Twitter gamers wanna shoot you down?
Marcia Osullivan Yup
When he said it takes them 3 years to realise they're LGBT+ to actually telling people, this hit me as I was like that too. 😮
We are close and yet so far
I hope it doesn’t take long for us to stopped being demonized
Who is demonising you?
Booms billions of people.
8 year old me who was scared and hated being made the way I am needed this. I've accepted myself, but it took a LONG time and I had no idea that other people were like me. It needs to be talked about more.
Answer: no. If you can explain that a mommy can love a daddy, then you can teach that anyone can love anyone else, and you find out who you'll love when you're older.
Thank you for doing this! Completely agree that the experience of growing up LGBTQ is like living alone on an island, like a blind or deaf child growing up in a family that doesn’t know how to communicate with them. Those children do much better when they connect with communities outside their family that share their differences.
Throw them in an orphanage or boarding school.Good riddance. Let the lobbyists, special interest groups raise them.
I will never stop fighting against homophobia!
Unless the Word’s Meaning gets changed to Fear of Bees!!!! 😳
How you fight?
Go to Russia or various other muslim-arab countries then, if you're so motivated. But ofc you can't, people from different cultural backgrounds have different views towards lgtv. If you go there and fight homophobia im sure you're smart enough to know what your faith would be.
@@anchoredislands4880 Be a snowflake sjw
Meet me in the park
This really hit me. I still struggle with coming out because my family has never once told me if they will accept me. I know in my heart that they will, but I've never been told so. They never reassured me that that will be the case and if I didn't know that they are all very accepting people, I would be scared shitless every day.
I learned about Henry II in school but I haven't killed the archbishop of canterbury 🏳️🌈
I believe you win the most British comment award here.
Cheers🏆🍻
Thanks🇬🇧🏳️🌈
doris the slug and why not? It is expected of all Englishmen by the age of ten to have killed the Archbishop of Canterbury with a longbow
Yet
I don't understand this comment, could someone explain?😅
This message should be shown to everyone, broadcasted on TVs and radios. It's so important.
So clear and eloquent. Thank you.
We need people like him in politics
Serachfan HONESTLY
I once tried to show a video to students about the basics of the LGBT community that was 7 minutes long and very simple. My school principals put me so many rocks in the way that it was impossible to achieve. They wanted me to ask each teacher if as parents they'd teach their kids. They also wanted me to give the teachers a talk, then the parents a talk and FINALLY the students. I hate my school so much for that. Even if nationally they are required to talk about the LGBT community, because they are a private school, they can choose not to.
The principals were worried about the image they would leave of their "Catholic School" instead of actually TEACHING children to be respectful and allies to the LGBT community.
His speech was immensely powerful that I became emotional as he spoke each word. so much knowledge in this small clip..a knowledge that should be shared with the world.
It’s so refreshing how passionate he is about his speech. He also has really nice eyes.
Tim Ramsey is great. He is the voice of many and many people who don't have their own voice. His ideas are the antidote against bulling and ignorance.
This guy literally made me tear up god why do people speak the truth
You wanna hear a lie? You will be remembered forever even after you die
@@icedwhitechocolatemochafra9851 what was the point of this lmao
@@thepinklife i am very alone and very angry
My friend had two dads and literally nobody cared. It was like "ok..." and then we went to play on his Commodore 64. It was only when we grew up I understood how lucky we were growing up in a progressive culture. The thought that it was different never even hit me until adulthood. It was just "Jesper's dad and Marc got married" and it was perfectly normal and all the kids liked Marc because he had a cool red sports car and played in a rock band and had an ear ring.
I love this speech so much. It’s not victimizing the community as some of the activists do but it’s very rational and eloquent. Very well put.
He is 100% correct. Pretending like people don’t exist until they are a certain age is nonsensical. No child should have to feel like their narrative doesn’t exist - or live a long life of lies based on a lack of early age transparency.
We LGBT+are forced to learn, as kids as we grow up, how to lie and fake, all in the name of making other people happy (especially unaccepting parents). Raising your kids under your non-acceptance won't prevent them from loving whoever their hearts decide to love, it's only gonna make the process of coming out longer and more painful. Love your children to the point you realize they're not you.
My Nephews grew up having two uncles, they learn the gift of acceptance, love and equality for all.
Great talk and messages. We will need to spread this.
He hits so many bull-eyes in so short a time that I didn't have time to cry about it. Even in the most evolved countries, children are assumed to be straight and everyone acts accordingly.
That has to stop.
I'm just now starting to realize that I live in a bubble and need to become more of an activist about this. I forget about young people figuring it out and I guess it's still quite hard for them to this day.
This made me take steps to start an LGBTQ+ awareness club at my school. Thank you.
Stop no.
@@arhumzia4087 Why? Are you gonna cry?
Cool.
@@phoebebridgerton99 because why do you want to know what turns someone on homosexuality is a private thing keep it to your selves.
Arhum Zia But I'm assuming it is totally ok to go on about heterosexuality?
I realized when I was as young as 10 and I'm 24 now and I don't feel confortable to tell anyone yet ... :/
You’ll be ready some day 🤗 sending love... you’ll be ok
Talking to people helps. It really does.
Realizing that your happiness matters will be the day you come out.
Please start with people you fully trust. The more people you tell the easier. You feel relieved
My parents were very good about teaching me to except others but when I came out as nonbinary they were shocked and did not except me, in a way. They said that I was setting myself up for disappointment bye saying that my pronouns are they/them. I am still trying to get over this but my aunt, uncle, and his boyfriend have been very supportive. This made me so happy to watch, thank you!
“You is Kind, You is Smart, You is Important”
We need to stop talking about homosexuality or heterosexuality to our children, just talk about love. There’s no boundaries to love, especially gender.
We're not there yet.
Well spoken, knowledgeable, handsome young man
Asexuality/aromanticism need to be taught too! I didn't even know that was a possibility for me so I thought there was something medically/psychologically wrong with me for a couple of years, it was a weird time
Yeah, a lot of things need to improve. Just mentioning that “homosexuals and transsexuals exist” doesn’t really count as education.
We need to teach everything else. Bisexuality, asexuality, aromanticism, non-binary, gender non-conforming people.
And explain what they are, how it works and feels etc.
Totally agree! It’s mostly not acknowledged even by other LGBT+ people
Does being asexual debilitate your life?
Stay away from children, groomer
Plan a: if child is not lgbt, teach it to them
Plan b: if child is lgbt, support them like how i would support a bridge
Spoken every word to my heart. Love you from India.
Perfectly reasoned, thoughtful, earnestly kind, and simple common sense talk. Good Job.
My youngest daughter was 4 years old when I knew she was not straight. Neither her father or I ever gave a damn that she wasn't & it was something we treated as completely normal (cuz it IS normal & common throughout all living things on this planet).
Because of this choice, my youngest daughter didn't ever have to have the agonizing coming out to the parents moment or worry that she wouldn't be accepted & that went for almost all of our extended family (on my side) as well, right down to my now 93 year old grandmother. She just got to live her truth without judgment. It's made her already difficult life so much easier than it would have otherwise been had this not been the case.
If you ask me what is "unnatural" is a parent abandoning a child for something so silly. If you have unnatural parents; I'm so sorry. You deserved so much better. You can make a new family of your own & toxic people don't need to remain part of your life. Go out, find your people & live the happiest life you can because you only get one. Good luck & you deserve the love you want.
Excellent speech!
We’ve made good progress over the 4 years since the video was uploaded, though we’ve also seen much pushback with anti LGBT laws, book banning, etc in the United States.
I’m hopeful that in another 4 years we’ll continue to make progress and that one day we’ll reach acceptance for all.
Got this is the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen😭
Isn't he just?
He is classically handsome. Personally I've seen better in more interesting men like Jason Mamoa or Joe Magenelli
That was your main takeaway from everything they talked about? Cool.
I'm so glad that I've been taught about lgbt my whole life. Way back when my parents first spoke to my about a future partner (I was maybe 3 and just started watching Disney), they always said "future boyfriend or girlfriend". It's always taught me that my feelings will never be wrong. I remember the rumours about my year 5 teacher being in a relationship with my year 6 teacher (both women). Everyone thought that it was great because we were 10 and 10 year olds don't care about that stuff
@ No. This is what they said to my grandma because her parents said that she didn't have to marry my grandad when he got her pregnant. I want to have a happy family so I'll make sure that happens
sometimes a boy like another boy or a girl likes another girl and that’s totally fine
treat other people with respect and decency
it doesn’t need to be more complicated than that
Incredibly powerful and truthful. Refreshingly honest and reasoned. Thank you!
"Was your child ever too young to learn about being straight?" this. this right here.
He is unbelievably handsome.
“Born an island”. That makes absolutely perfect sense.
When he said about it taking three and a half years to tell people. That hit me hard. It took me over 3 and a half years
Me, around a three and a half year mark ever since I realized something isn't "normal": *yeah....no coming out for me*
No way this is gonna happen before I'm financially independent from my parents
Thanks for this talk. Hope your message spreads far and wide!
i came out to my parents recently, and they hit me with the “bisexuality is a choice” and “you’re too young to know”.
they also told me to not tell anyone, to pretend i’m something i’m not.
I'm Sorry to hear that. I got told the same thing when I came out as Ace. You'll get through this, I promise you
@@annawesometheflameingpikac3688 happy pride to our ace members of the community 😊 (pride is a 24/7 thing)
A simple point, expressed beautifully and powerfully... all of us need to hear this, or to receive this communication in some other way.
Thank you so much for this 🙏
This idea of not being born into one's minority community is brand new to me but makes a lot of sense to me!! Thanks for bringing up concepts like these. It's soothing to understand better what we've been, sometimes still are going through..
This is so well articulated. I was so ashamed from 12-14 until I told my friends and they completely supported me and loved me. And my parents were ok they were just confused but it still took my mum some time to come round and that was scary because you don't know what to do to avoid losing your parent's love when you can't change this thing about you. She did come round spectacularly.
The beauty of his argument outshines his own.
He's a gift for our community
it was so powerful when he said that LGBTQ kids are born alone to figure it out, not among their minority. its so true