omg... when he started crying, it broke my heart. also, what a creep to ask that an official examine a child's genitals over some dumb game. Is that legal? Did they end up going through with it? That's disgusting
@@addylenwest8536It's never too late for them to change their mind. Maybe they will one day. But the most important is you, love yourself and hang out with people who love you because you deserve it. You deserve to be loved and to be with people who respect you. Have a nice day, I wish you well.
@Alexandria M Don't think about how you would die, think about how you would live. Maybe indeed your mother tried to make a clumsy step toward you? You already did your part by telling them, now you must enjoy who you are, they may think and change their mind and meanwhile live your life like you wish. Have a nice day.
I can't imagine the pain you must have felt when the opposite team's coach wanted that verification. What an awful thing to expect of a child. Thanks for making this talk.
I don't understand how parents can look at their child after raising them for so many years and abandon them like that. When they were pregnant with their child, the gender didn't matter, they just wanted their child to be happy and healthy. What happened to that? Why does it matter so much now, when it never really mattered in the first place? True hypocrisy right there.
@Elliot Sampson actually we DO understand that. But you have to understand that its our own goddamn business and you shouldnt care about what gender we are.
To those people, they never really truly loved their child. They just saw them as their property. They get upset because they see that 'property' as being 'broken' so they do what they do. I have experience personally with my mother.
My parents are the opposite of him. My dad ridiculed me at 13 and I'm still in the closet to my family, but have accepted myself for almost 3 years. I'm 25 now, going to be 26 in December. So, basically half my life, I've been hiding.
@@alexbenjaminlubbers You are such a warrior! You always have people to go to if you need them, remember that. If you ever need to talk you can reach out to me anytime. My Instagram and Twitter are both @yashdeshmukh_
Kris Damnation It sounds like when he discussed pronouns about 5 min in he has talked about it with Dana and if it helps the father understand Dana's gender and he's not bothered to be referred to as a she/her in the past I don't think it's a problem
QwertyGirl yea, as he said he remembers having a daughter, not son, but he knows he has son. I mean give this man a break, with all respect, he is old, for eldery person it's sometimes hard to change something, especially deeply rooted
Kris Damnation i am a muslim its hard to tell your family what you feel inside. If you have a relation with the same gender i need to keep it secret. Sorry for her ,Until she decided she left me because she want me to come out and tell my parent about my feeling.
I wish all trans people had a father like this. My fiance, who is a trans woman, has awful parents who aren't open minded or kind. They won't even call her by her pronouns, name, or call her their daughter. I wanna cry and scream at them, tell them how wrong they are! My fiance is amazing and everyone of my trans friends are awesome! They deserve love, respect and dignity.
That's horrible but it's good to hear that she has you I would much rather be around people like you and your fiancé then haters and bigots I wish you both many happy years of marriage
I KNOWWW your problem so well! My girlfriend is a trans woman, and her parents are the same. I feel bad, and I wanna correct them, and I don't even know how to talk to them half the time. Like, on one end, do I just continuously say 'she' despite it? But... I don't necessarily want to make them mad, and I don't want them to kick her out (because their relationship is already shaky and at the end of the rope) so do I just go along with it only around them? At this point, I've taken to try and avoid/limit ever saying pronouns. And names. It's honestly hard and heartbreaking.
@@WolfeWrangle as someone who dated a trans man in an unsafe environment (and as a trans man myself) I highly suggest talking to your girlfriend to see what she thinks is the safest thing to do, and so if you have to misgender her, she knows you're doing it only to keep her safe and only around her unaccepting family.
This man is the picture of paternal love...love that knows no boundaries, that does not let any barriers or preconceived ideas stop it. I am so glad for him, his son and the rest of his family...a wonderful family indeed
We met Dana and Rita as young teenagers; for several years a group of us played mah Jong at a small community building. Rita was obviously "girly-girly" (meant in a good way) and Dana was different. Even her name was androgynous. My husband quietly referred to her as "he" while we were playing, and I instantly whispered a correction. I remember Dana's beautiful short hair and elegantly long fingers handling the tiles. Both children were very well mannered and obviously intelligent. Fast forward to a few years ago when Dana was the front page story in our small-town local newspaper. There was Dana: a smiling handsome young man! I was SO happy for him! He was where he always should have been. Good luck, Dana!
Sorrrrrrrrrry bae, he's a dude. Speakin' as a transman myself, lemme tell you that being gay is kinda different. It feels different- it's like how people know they're an introvert or an extrovert, or how people know their favorite music or food... It's not a choice, it's not written anywhere in us, it just is. Il n'est que. It just is. A vagina doesn't determine who a person is, nor does their blood; a person is determined by the mind that they have, by their soul and spirit. My blood doesn't tell me why my favorite color is mint green, why I love rainy days, and it certainly doesn't tell me that I'm a man, because I know. It's just something you know. Being gay feels different, and is different. I know I'm a man, just like I know I'm pansexual, and panromantic, and happy. Bloodwork can't tell you what your mind is, and the mind is the most important thing of all. All the bloodwork says is your blood type and other physical things, but bloodwork can't tell you if you're gay or trans or a guy or a girl, all it can say is (perhaps) what your genitals (probably) are. Genitals, however, mean nothing. All that matters is the mind.
Sorry, not correct. Research shows that transgender kids are born this way, and their inborn, innate gender identity does not match their body parts. Chromosomes in this situation are irrelevant. That's why the International Olympic Committee no longer uses chromosomal testing to determine sex. Too many variables.
The rates of suicide are: 54-59% for trans who are NOT accepted by family, who are rejected by their family. But the suicide rate of transpersons who are ACCEPTED, integrated in their true gender in their family, and who CAN Transition physically, than the rates are of 4%, just like average.
my heart broke when he talked about Dana's violation in the locker room. I can't believe how sick some people can be... who cares what body parts a person has or doesn't have?! that has nothing to do with how well they play the sport! What a despicable coach...
@@Natalie37854 I agree with you completely. Men and women's sports should be kept separate (except in special tournaments like co-ed tennis, very entertaining and I highly recommend it if you're a fan) simply due to the physical difference between men and women. So while the coach was justified in asking to confirm that Dana was a girl, he was in no way justified in asking to confirm it by checking a child's genitals. That could embarrass and even traumatize the child, not to mention it would literally be illegal.
beautiful video.. i am a trans man and my father sent me this. No one can explain what it is like when you receive the support of your family in acceptance and then to transition. It is literally everything. The support of a father is exceptionally important to a ftm trans kid and it meant the world to me at 19 years old. This was very touching and it felt like the words my father feels for me. Thank you to all the Trans parents who do the right thing and take the time to learn and support. You are helping so much more than just your child, you are helping the world. Example by example I know the world learns about us and slowly understand us, and we can form more part of society as time progresses. As this man said, please love your kids and do the right thing.
I'm so happy for you, I wish it would've been the same to me. I was called a freak and I had to move out in fear of killing myself. I came out when I was 18 and now as almost 22 I'm still fighting severe depression and suicidal thoughts.
@@mammon-sama884 Hey, man, I'm hoping you're holding onto life with the firmest grip you can make. People can be chaotic! I'm here if you need to talk or something.
@M W Try to remember... This man is Catholic. Most religious people are actually great people, who will just accept you. They're just quiet, and don't make a lot of fuss. Don't confuse a loud minority for the silent majority.
Im crying. This is wonderful. He got a few things a bit wrong about trans people, but he's obviously trying. He cares so much about his son. It's incredible
I may not be trans, but my beautiful girlfriend is. This moved me so much! Thank you, kind sir, for sharing your and your son’s journey with all of us! This brought me back to the time that I came out as Pansexual
I can't imagine the heartache and pain I would feel had I not been born with my cisgender body. It makes me tear up just thinking about what these poor families go through. The way they're treated is still appalling, even in the so-called educated first world country of America. We have a long way to go.
+April Sunshine *Except an extremely small percentage ( **_hermaphrodites_** ) born with fully functional male and female genitalia, we are ALL born as male and female,* ( _or as someone tries to confuse you with parlance_ ) *....'cisgender'. Study the subject, and don't let yourself be fooled by people .... 'with an agenda'. :-)))*
For those of you replying to comments with ‘*she’ or calling people delusional, I hope that you find it in yourselves to mind what does not affect you. It must be exhausting clicking on videos for the obvious intent of spreading your negative beliefs. Go take a nap or color or something because what you are doing is a waste of everyone’s time.
Same here. I can't say that my parents support me sadly. I've told my mother several times, but she does not want to understand and even told me I must not tell my father as it would probably outrage him. I'm planning on sending her this video in a final attempt to make her understand what I'm going through since as long as I can remember. I have little hope left, but maybe I won't be alone on my journey...
Camden Corvus I know this is a late reply but that's fantastic so glad you have had that your parents are wonderful I'm not trans myself but I've always believed that there is nothing wrong with it as there is some things in life we have no choice in and being trans is 1 of them and you are still a human being I hope things are going well for you
I love how much he understands. Most people just don't bother learning about transgenderism because it's too "confusing" to grasp. But if you just take a moment to try an learn like this man did, there would be so much more love on this planet.
Luis Perez are you a parent? As a parent, our one duty in life is to love our children unconditionally. NO child is an abomination. If you are worried about morality, you should look into tolerance, acceptance, and inclusivity before looking at someone's gender identity. Blessings to you and yours.
@@rhyddidroselouw3896 Don't be angry with them. Seek to understand them. To find out where their anger comes from. Usually, you'll find it comes from not understanding something, and fearing it because of this. As Yoda once said... Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate... That is the path to the Dark Side. Don't let your fear of people being angry and hateful turn you the same. Silencing a person won't make their ideals go away. It'll only internalize them, and strengthen them. Instead, let them get their ideals out, and ask... Why? Find out where they are coming from, and seek to pull them from the darkness. You won't always succeed. Some people are just too entrenched. But don't let failures cloud your way.
@@MrJinglejanglejingle I admit I do have anger issues. I dont like injustice and ignorance. That being said, I am working on those issues. Your words are truthful. The gods have blessed you with wisdom and patience. This Asatruar will take your advice. Walk in strength; live in freedom!
@@rhyddidroselouw3896 The gods did not bless me. I learned on my own. Through trial and error, through learning. Nobody likes injustice, nor ignorance. Yet, they exist. The point is to minimize such things. You'll never be truly rid of them. There will always be bad people that do bad things... And good people, with good intentions, that do bad things. The best thing is to try and prevent them, and if you cannot prevent them, then do what you can to mitigate their damage.
this is so emotional. Like yes, he got some things wrong about gender and what transgender means but holy shit i have yet to see a man this age who is so accepting. This was awesome and it makes me happy to know that we are going on the right path, even if it takes us long :-)
Considering the age difference, when he was Dana's age I bet no one he knew ever really talked about gender or what transgender was, especially since it was considered a mental illness. It's sweet how much he's trying and how easy it was for them to accept their child as he is
Yeah I refer to my past self, before I came out as a transman, with she/her pronouns and as girl/woman/female. I even say "when I was a little girl.." all the time, people just think it's me making a joke, because I look nothing like a girl anymore. Only if they knew, lmao.
Videos like this are what gave me hope in going forward in my transition from female to male, and have helped immensely in getting my parent's understanding and support. Thank you. ❤️
I love how genuine he was. His love for his son is so apparent, as is the happiness that Dana has. It's so easy to tell that how Dana hurt in the past hurt Skip and he doesn't want anyone else to feel that pain. Just loving all the love from this.
I have sent this video to my parents hoping they watch this along with posting to all my family and friends on Facebook. I am 53 years old and have been on testosterone for over nine months. With the exception of my long distance fiancee and a couple of long distance friends, I have never been so alone in such a big experience of my life. Yet I know that I couldn't live one more day without going through transition. I'm grateful beyond words that you shared your story Skip. I hope my parents in their 70s now will learn from your amazing talk. Thank you so much.
I admire your strength and wish you all the best so much. Maybe there is a PFLAG group in your area if you live in the USA. They are a national group across the States. And support LGBTQ. And they are such great people and can give you support or any help that you need. You aren't alone. Big hugs. Xx ❤️❤️
I'm just reading this. I'm a moderator a group on FB called "The Original Trans Men over 40". It's a group of trans guys for trans guys. I transitioned at age 65.
I’m going to subtitle this in my native language and to show this to my folks. Thank you sir for being such an amazing father and person overall, I hope my parents will be as inspired by your talk as I am and try to understand me more
I hope your parents are able to understand you better, as well. Sometimes it takes time for parents to get used to it. Blessings on your journey with this!
This is brilliantly written and beautifully said. Thank you for sharing, for caring enough to help others understand. My sister was born intersex, raised male, but always knew she was female. She made the most of her life, serving as a police officer for 18 years... then one day in her 30's, she realised she couldn't keep living a lie. She transitioned, changed her name, lost her family (wife and two kids), and retired from the police to study medicine. I didn't know her back then, but when we met we became family, sisters of the heart. Today she amazes me every day with her courage as she faces the end of a very full, not always pleasant life. She has MS, and spinal issues, bad knees and shoulders from a very active sporting life and lives in chronic pain. But every day she makes the most of the days she has, and my family is HER family, and she is the sister I always wanted...
DANA FRICKING SAVED A GIRL. WHAT!?! THATS INSANE!!! The way his dad described it made it sound like he had the reflexes, quick decision making, and athletic ability to be a superhero. IM IN AWE FROM THE STORY! HE IS A MASSIVE LEGEND I STAN HIM AND HIS FATHER SO MUCH!!!
Dr. Pardee you are the essence of a father who has unconditional love for their child, and have done an outstanding job in supporting Dana's choice. I hope you do reach out to children considering approaching their family about being transgender and provide a model for acceptance of their choice. It is also an honor to know you personally, and share your journey with everyone you meet.
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’m 62 years old and I came out at 58 and your video explains everything so well I’ve shared it with my siblings and my son who haven’t talked to me since I transitioned. Thank you so much, Mae W.
It's sad of your child doing that but also your child may be fearful of being judged because of this. Your siblings however.. how awful. Hope they have came around.
I love how there's so incredibly little negativity in the comments, it just shows how you simply cannot watch this man's emotional speech and still clutch to any prejudice you have. As genderfluid myself, I've struggled with my identity all my life, and I still am really. People like this give me hope that maybe the next generations won't have to be afraid to be themselves, no matter how different.
My child just came out to me today. I have never gone through such a massive array of emotions. I'm hear to watch, listen and learn. I have a long way to go. But I'm starting today.
First of all let me thank you for being a proud parent and speaking about it. As a transgender woman transitioning in her fifties it give me hope that more of the generation coming out to day wont have to go having a parent reject them because that is one of the most devastating and haunting thing that can happen to use as I no from my own life having mother refuse to recognize my transition and my preferred name , So it does not matter weather their five or fifty that support of one parents is desperately need . Their are enough other obstacles ahead in their path , Diane
Congrats on your transition! I am ftm just starting transition over 50. I am sorry to hear about your mother not accepting your transition. I think it may have to do with her generation, I see such an evolution in attitudes for every decade of age. Not always of course. We have come so far, I have received much support so far. In my opinion it's better now than it ever has been. I know I will have some people that won't 'get it', but I am not gonna focus on them, I will and am appreciating the wonderful people who have been so supportive. I hope you have some great friends who are behind you.
@@bronsonmcdonald5473 I'm sorry this is such an old post. I wish I could talk to you about how it's going. I'm 57 and have been considering transitioning for years but think I'm too old.
I'm a trans man 31 and been transistioning for about 7 years now, this dad looks like my grandpa! Hes not here now but this story is amazing deffinitly a tear jerker. Thank you!
Wonderful talk Mr. Pardee. It is people like you who are helping to change the hearts and minds of people who do not understand us, and for that I am truly grateful.
i'm in tears,it's so nice to see a parent that is so supportive towards their trans child. i wish my parents where that nice and comprehensive with me. dana is such a lucky man,it's obvious that his dad love him unconditionally
i am full on ugly sobbing right now because i. i will never have a parent like this. when my parents found out i was calling myself bisexual, my dad cried and my mom didn't talk to me until christmas. they would never accept my gender.
Thanks for this beautiful presentation, and as you ended it, that was very meaningful, and will accomplish all that which you hope for. This from a 76 year old Trans Lady who has only been out 6 years now. You are very accurate on your presentation. ChloeAlexa A great example of Transgender loving parents. Dana will be great also. That's a FAMILY ! !
He is so proud of his child. That’s love. And I cried when he cried. That was the most real, heartbreaking cry I’ve ever seen. I’m not even sure how I feel about trans etc, but I do know I feel the same way about my kids as this man does.
Skip you are an amazing person and your Ted talk has and will change many lives for the better!!! I loved getting to know you and your beautiful family! Thank you for being you! XO Nikki Warren
I wish I had a father like this man growing up. maybe then I wouldn't be in that percentile that tried to commit suicide. it took me over 10 years, but i finally came to terms with who I am.
This video is so powerful and touching that it made me cry so many times while watching it. He exemplifies how a dad should be and his family exemplifies how a family should be. Additionally, the story of his trans son shows how most of us trans folks are just normal people with good characters. Our love and ethics are no different than those of most cis folks. Thanks for sharing your story! 💜
Sorry for a bit of an out of the blue question, but was it hard to start calling your son by he/him pronouns at the beginning? How did you get over it? This is a year after you posted this so I don't know if you'll respond then lol.
Hey, it's been like a year since you made this post. I hope your journey has been a positive one. I hope time has helped give your parents perspective. I hope that you have found what it is that you want out of your life, and have not become part of the unfortunate 59% Hang in there, there's a lot more of us out there than it seems, and we tend to be pretty supportive. ~A fellow trans person.
It fills me with hope to see that no matter what age, profession, religion someone is, they can be so accepting, loving and open-minded. I really hope too meet more people like Mr.Pardee in my life
10 years ago I told my father: ''Dad, I'm a girl.'' We never spoke since, he never even saw me. The bad news: it may happen to you too, the good news: don't despair, you WILL get used to it, turn the page and live well without him, possibly even better than before, IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD! Thank you Mr. Pardee, this emotional presentation moved me to the core. Love, Rose🌹
At first is really bugged me that he used she/her pronouns but he is a really good dad and he really tries, and when he cries it was so heartbreaking and sweet
I would have loved for my family to have been like his. But no, my family self eliminated, they have destroyed my life. This video gave me hope for others. Thank you
Thank you so much, my 10 year old daughter has just informed me she is really my son. I will be as proud to call her my son, you have helped me on this journey to understand the vital importance of acceptance.
This man's heartfelt speech has mad me cry. Biggest respect to him. Keep spreading the love and joy in your heart and help teach others to do the same.
Thank you for this video and this TedTalk. You and your family are such inspirations and I am very proud to live in a time like this and to know that there are loving and genuine people out there like you and your family. Bravo.
I've honestly been psyching myself up to go thru transition alone. I've been preparing myself to just push through it by myself because I don't know how to tell my parents. I've been terrified, cause I know people can be horrible... but I'm so glad I found this video. I'm so glad this exists. I'm smiling ear to ear and thinking up a new plan so I don't have to be alone, cause I love my family and don't want to lose them at all. Thank you so much!
He's such a great example of an accepting parent. I wish there were more people like him, not that I agree with his opinion completely, but he's trying to get it right and he cares so much about Dana.
8:35 made me well up 💔 Everyone needs to watch this and understand the pain and struggle of someone dealing with gender mismatch. So much love and power to this family ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for this video. You're helping a 67 yo transwoman screw up the courage to tell her 90 yo mother that she is trans. I've been on hormones 15 months and am taking the first steps in social transition. I know the joy of seeing that smiling face in the mirror after 35 or more years of depression. So I know the joy in your son's heart. Thank you! ❤️
Mission completed sir!!! I’m a 28 year old trans man who has yet to physically transition. The next time I see my father, he and I will watch your talk together for the first time. And I am so scared. He is also a conservative ex military NCO. Thank you sir for giving me the courage to continue living my best life and courage to tell my father. Thank you. *salute*
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
omg... when he started crying, it broke my heart. also, what a creep to ask that an official examine a child's genitals over some dumb game. Is that legal? Did they end up going through with it? That's disgusting
Absolutely illegal
yea im pretty sure you can take that to court
J Girl absolutely illegal
Illegal, but people still do it.
J Girl agreed. How horrible and dehumanizing for Dana. That just makes me want to cry.
"I'd rather have a trans-son than a dead daughter." - my mother, the only reason why I'm still here.
Maybe no one told you, but you're doing great hun :-)
Youre doing great m'dude.
Keep being you, don't forget to breathe sometimes.
Hi (trans woman here) and I wish my family thought about that ever
@@addylenwest8536It's never too late for them to change their mind. Maybe they will one day. But the most important is you, love yourself and hang out with people who love you because you deserve it. You deserve to be loved and to be with people who respect you. Have a nice day, I wish you well.
@Alexandria M Don't think about how you would die, think about how you would live. Maybe indeed your mother tried to make a clumsy step toward you? You already did your part by telling them, now you must enjoy who you are, they may think and change their mind and meanwhile live your life like you wish. Have a nice day.
I can't imagine the pain you must have felt when the opposite team's coach wanted that verification. What an awful thing to expect of a child. Thanks for making this talk.
I wish that coach got severly reprimanded for that crime.
me too. cause it was a crime
My heart shattered when he spoke about that part...
@Fast Internet Elaborate.
@A L Shut up.
I don't understand how parents can look at their child after raising them for so many years and abandon them like that. When they were pregnant with their child, the gender didn't matter, they just wanted their child to be happy and healthy. What happened to that? Why does it matter so much now, when it never really mattered in the first place? True hypocrisy right there.
GingerKidDiaries
Good logic.😊
Exactly
@Elliot Sampson Yeah this isn't about that, buddy.
@Elliot Sampson actually we DO understand that. But you have to understand that its our own goddamn business and you shouldnt care about what gender we are.
To those people, they never really truly loved their child. They just saw them as their property. They get upset because they see that 'property' as being 'broken' so they do what they do. I have experience personally with my mother.
This man shows us all how "dad" is done. Well done sir.
My parents are the opposite of him. My dad ridiculed me at 13 and I'm still in the closet to my family, but have accepted myself for almost 3 years. I'm 25 now, going to be 26 in December. So, basically half my life, I've been hiding.
@@alexbenjaminlubbers You are such a warrior! You always have people to go to if you need them, remember that. If you ever need to talk you can reach out to me anytime. My Instagram and Twitter are both @yashdeshmukh_
@@yashdeshmukh4863
Just followed you on Twitter
I'm sorry but last time I checked, you're the center of your problems
@@yashdeshmukh4863 warrior why? did he fought any battle.
He is Catholic and conservative but still more accepting than my dad was when I came out!
I wish he would use the proper pronouns referring to his past!
Kris Damnation
It sounds like when he discussed pronouns about 5 min in he has talked about it with Dana and if it helps the father understand Dana's gender and he's not bothered to be referred to as a she/her in the past I don't think it's a problem
QwertyGirl yea, as he said he remembers having a daughter, not son, but he knows he has son. I mean give this man a break, with all respect, he is old, for eldery person it's sometimes hard to change something, especially deeply rooted
Kris Damnation i am a muslim its hard to tell your family what you feel inside. If you have a relation with the same gender i need to keep it secret. Sorry for her ,Until she decided she left me because she want me to come out and tell my parent about my feeling.
Same this dad is way more accepting than my atheist dad
Those people that took him into the bathroom to prove what junk he had. That is sick and wrong to the point of being sexual harassment and abuse.
What is sick is people living a synthetic life meant to deceive mostly themselves.
@@jeremylee5990 Care to elaborate?
@@RowanWarren78 You lost him at "Care".
@@dunxen-dev Too True
It is called a reality check.
The ending made me emotional
Kovu is a unicorn me too
Kovu is a unicorn KOVU AHH
Kovu is a unicorn wait do you live in Reno?
Kovu is a unicorn omg I love you’re channel
oh hello kovu 😂
I wish all trans people had a father like this. My fiance, who is a trans woman, has awful parents who aren't open minded or kind. They won't even call her by her pronouns, name, or call her their daughter. I wanna cry and scream at them, tell them how wrong they are! My fiance is amazing and everyone of my trans friends are awesome! They deserve love, respect and dignity.
That's horrible but it's good to hear that she has you I would much rather be around people like you and your fiancé then haters and bigots I wish you both many happy years of marriage
I KNOWWW your problem so well! My girlfriend is a trans woman, and her parents are the same. I feel bad, and I wanna correct them, and I don't even know how to talk to them half the time. Like, on one end, do I just continuously say 'she' despite it? But... I don't necessarily want to make them mad, and I don't want them to kick her out (because their relationship is already shaky and at the end of the rope) so do I just go along with it only around them? At this point, I've taken to try and avoid/limit ever saying pronouns. And names. It's honestly hard and heartbreaking.
@@WolfeWrangle as someone who dated a trans man in an unsafe environment (and as a trans man myself) I highly suggest talking to your girlfriend to see what she thinks is the safest thing to do, and so if you have to misgender her, she knows you're doing it only to keep her safe and only around her unaccepting family.
I wish all ̶t̶̶r̶̶a̶̶n̶̶s̶ people had a father like this.
Luz it is a lack of education sadly. Congrats to you and your fiance.
This man is the picture of paternal love...love that knows no boundaries, that does not let any barriers or preconceived ideas stop it. I am so glad for him, his son and the rest of his family...a wonderful family indeed
"Love knows no boundaries' - but biology does.
Vipera01 Then what's evolution? Biology does change to be frank. You need to learn to go with it. He did very well, so proud.
@Vipera01 So because biology has boundaries, you're justified in your ignorance and intolerant behavior?
We met Dana and Rita as young teenagers; for several years a group of us played mah Jong at a small community building. Rita was obviously "girly-girly" (meant in a good way) and Dana was different. Even her name was androgynous. My husband quietly referred to her as "he" while we were playing, and I instantly whispered a correction. I remember Dana's beautiful short hair and elegantly long fingers handling the tiles. Both children were very well mannered and obviously intelligent. Fast forward to a few years ago when Dana was the front page story in our small-town local newspaper. There was Dana: a smiling handsome young man! I was SO happy for him! He was where he always should have been. Good luck, Dana!
Blood work doesn't lie.
It's a woman, not a man. Maybe she's gay and is attracted to women, but she's certainly no man.
Sorrrrrrrrrry bae, he's a dude. Speakin' as a transman myself, lemme tell you that being gay is kinda different. It feels different- it's like how people know they're an introvert or an extrovert, or how people know their favorite music or food... It's not a choice, it's not written anywhere in us, it just is. Il n'est que. It just is. A vagina doesn't determine who a person is, nor does their blood; a person is determined by the mind that they have, by their soul and spirit. My blood doesn't tell me why my favorite color is mint green, why I love rainy days, and it certainly doesn't tell me that I'm a man, because I know. It's just something you know. Being gay feels different, and is different. I know I'm a man, just like I know I'm pansexual, and panromantic, and happy. Bloodwork can't tell you what your mind is, and the mind is the most important thing of all. All the bloodwork says is your blood type and other physical things, but bloodwork can't tell you if you're gay or trans or a guy or a girl, all it can say is (perhaps) what your genitals (probably) are. Genitals, however, mean nothing. All that matters is the mind.
Sorry, not correct. Research shows that transgender kids are born this way, and their inborn, innate gender identity does not match their body parts. Chromosomes in this situation are irrelevant. That's why the International Olympic Committee no longer uses chromosomal testing to determine sex. Too many variables.
The rates of suicide are: 54-59% for trans who are NOT accepted by family, who are rejected by their family.
But the suicide rate of transpersons who are ACCEPTED, integrated in their true gender in their family, and who CAN Transition physically, than the rates are of 4%, just like average.
nice, do you happen to have any links? I'm always interested in compiling current info!!
No such thing as "toxic masculinity" with this dad.
Not even a drop
I'm happy my dad is like this. Miraculously, as a Indigenous American, his ancestors stayed that way.
my heart broke when he talked about Dana's violation in the locker room. I can't believe how sick some people can be... who cares what body parts a person has or doesn't have?! that has nothing to do with how well they play the sport! What a despicable coach...
@@Natalie37854 I agree with you completely. Men and women's sports should be kept separate (except in special tournaments like co-ed tennis, very entertaining and I highly recommend it if you're a fan) simply due to the physical difference between men and women. So while the coach was justified in asking to confirm that Dana was a girl, he was in no way justified in asking to confirm it by checking a child's genitals. That could embarrass and even traumatize the child, not to mention it would literally be illegal.
Lets appreciate how empathetic this guy is, he always gets emotional when he recalls something bad happening to his kids
beautiful video.. i am a trans man and my father sent me this. No one can explain what it is like when you receive the support of your family in acceptance and then to transition. It is literally everything. The support of a father is exceptionally important to a ftm trans kid and it meant the world to me at 19 years old. This was very touching and it felt like the words my father feels for me. Thank you to all the Trans parents who do the right thing and take the time to learn and support. You are helping so much more than just your child, you are helping the world. Example by example I know the world learns about us and slowly understand us, and we can form more part of society as time progresses. As this man said, please love your kids and do the right thing.
I'm so happy for you, I wish it would've been the same to me. I was called a freak and I had to move out in fear of killing myself. I came out when I was 18 and now as almost 22 I'm still fighting severe depression and suicidal thoughts.
Christian Briesmaster I am so thankful your father supports you. ❤️❤️
OctoSquid Purrnen this world needs you here, so keep on keeping on. I pray those around you will love and support you. You are worth it.
@@loriadams1588 that made me smile, thank you :)
@@mammon-sama884 Hey, man, I'm hoping you're holding onto life with the firmest grip you can make. People can be chaotic! I'm here if you need to talk or something.
“Dana set out to find the hot guy, turns out the hot guy was Dana”
Plot twist!
great speech I came out at 73 male to female
I am so proud of you!
I'm so happy for you!
Awesome!
Congratulations maam you made it
❤️❤️❤️
this dad is best human being
Who the hell would dislike this? This is a moving video and what an open minded, unconditional loving father! Hats off to this father!
M W not all but yes most
What a wonderful man!
@M W Try to remember... This man is Catholic. Most religious people are actually great people, who will just accept you. They're just quiet, and don't make a lot of fuss. Don't confuse a loud minority for the silent majority.
👩🏻🎓 👩🏻
Trolls get truly upset when they see decent, loving people give each other the love they never got nor will ever get.
Im crying. This is wonderful. He got a few things a bit wrong about trans people, but he's obviously trying. He cares so much about his son. It's incredible
*daughter, not son
Vipera01 *son
Vipera01 son^^
^daughter
*sooonn ^^
I may not be trans, but my beautiful girlfriend is. This moved me so much! Thank you, kind sir, for sharing your and your son’s journey with all of us! This brought me back to the time that I came out as Pansexual
I lost it when he started crying
Why would you be angry at a father crying about sad things?
I can't imagine the heartache and pain I would feel had I not been born with my cisgender body. It makes me tear up just thinking about what these poor families go through. The way they're treated is still appalling, even in the so-called educated first world country of America. We have a long way to go.
Couldn't agree more, April 💙✨
Drive Tone that’s really rude
+April Sunshine *Except an extremely small percentage ( **_hermaphrodites_** ) born with fully functional male and female genitalia, we are ALL born as male and female,* ( _or as someone tries to confuse you with parlance_ ) *....'cisgender'. Study the subject, and don't let yourself be fooled by people .... 'with an agenda'. :-)))*
Your support means so much to me. Thank you
Antares8491, they aren’t true hermaphrodites but it should still be studied along with other x and y chromosome pairings...
For those of you replying to comments with ‘*she’ or calling people delusional, I hope that you find it in yourselves to mind what does not affect you. It must be exhausting clicking on videos for the obvious intent of spreading your negative beliefs. Go take a nap or color or something because what you are doing is a waste of everyone’s time.
My father watched this today and wrote me the most amazing loving letter. Thank you so much.
DrIsrael Avraham
Congratulation. 👍💖
Wonderful
This brought me to tears. I'm very proud to have parents that support me as FTM as well. I know that this video will change lives.
Same here.
I can't say that my parents support me sadly. I've told my mother several times, but she does not want to understand and even told me I must not tell my father as it would probably outrage him. I'm planning on sending her this video in a final attempt to make her understand what I'm going through since as long as I can remember.
I have little hope left, but maybe I won't be alone on my journey...
@@KingOfSharksYuriy Good luck to you! You're never alone.
Camden Corvus I know this is a late reply but that's fantastic so glad you have had that your parents are wonderful I'm not trans myself but I've always believed that there is nothing wrong with it as there is some things in life we have no choice in and being trans is 1 of them and you are still a human being I hope things are going well for you
@@KingOfSharksYuriy How did it go, sending your mother this video?
Proud of you, Skip - and proud you're my cousin.
Love to you, Dana, Rita and Veronica!
quinnellen Judging from this video, you are blessed with a very wonderful family. Glad to see you're an ally, too :)
I love how much he understands. Most people just don't bother learning about transgenderism because it's too "confusing" to grasp. But if you just take a moment to try an learn like this man did, there would be so much more love on this planet.
Absolutely beautiful, moving story from an incredible man. I would happily saw my right arm off for a parent like that.
Luis Perez are you a parent?
As a parent, our one duty in life is to love our children unconditionally. NO child is an abomination. If you are worried about morality, you should look into tolerance, acceptance, and inclusivity before looking at someone's gender identity. Blessings to you and yours.
@@LuisPerez-pe4mi Hey take the self-righteousness elsewhere. Your ignorance and lack empathy and understanding too. We dont need more of your shite.
@@rhyddidroselouw3896 Don't be angry with them. Seek to understand them. To find out where their anger comes from. Usually, you'll find it comes from not understanding something, and fearing it because of this. As Yoda once said...
Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate... That is the path to the Dark Side.
Don't let your fear of people being angry and hateful turn you the same. Silencing a person won't make their ideals go away. It'll only internalize them, and strengthen them. Instead, let them get their ideals out, and ask... Why? Find out where they are coming from, and seek to pull them from the darkness. You won't always succeed. Some people are just too entrenched. But don't let failures cloud your way.
@@MrJinglejanglejingle I admit I do have anger issues. I dont like injustice and ignorance.
That being said, I am working on those issues. Your words are truthful. The gods have blessed you with wisdom and patience.
This Asatruar will take your advice. Walk in strength; live in freedom!
@@rhyddidroselouw3896 The gods did not bless me. I learned on my own. Through trial and error, through learning. Nobody likes injustice, nor ignorance. Yet, they exist.
The point is to minimize such things. You'll never be truly rid of them. There will always be bad people that do bad things... And good people, with good intentions, that do bad things. The best thing is to try and prevent them, and if you cannot prevent them, then do what you can to mitigate their damage.
this is so emotional. Like yes, he got some things wrong about gender and what transgender means but holy shit i have yet to see a man this age who is so accepting.
This was awesome and it makes me happy to know that we are going on the right path, even if it takes us long :-)
Considering the age difference, when he was Dana's age I bet no one he knew ever really talked about gender or what transgender was, especially since it was considered a mental illness. It's sweet how much he's trying and how easy it was for them to accept their child as he is
ha, it's cool when this is the case, grandparents that don't even give a damn
Yeah I refer to my past self, before I came out as a transman, with she/her pronouns and as girl/woman/female. I even say "when I was a little girl.." all the time, people just think it's me making a joke, because I look nothing like a girl anymore. Only if they knew, lmao.
Wow really? He is such a loving character you're really going to point out the minor flaws of word usage? Like yes that is so unnecessary.
Andrea Rodríguez No he got everything right. I’m trans.
Videos like this are what gave me hope in going forward in my transition from female to male, and have helped immensely in getting my parent's understanding and support. Thank you. ❤️
+Jess X Good luck :)
+Jess X Good Luck with your transition.
You go, Jess!!! :)
hope things are going well bro
Well then I do believe you just proved that that conservative, catholic, ex-military officer's mission in giving this Ted Talk was successful.
Once he started crying I started crying. I just want to give the whole family a hug.
Yeah, that's a brave man to cry over his child in front of so many people. Really heartwarming.
I guess you could say that he's
trans *PARENT*
* s l o w c l a p*
(-;
Nice🤣love the profile pic too💚
Geeky Redhead are you proud of that pun?
um.....you're many years late. Transparent is an awesome show on Amazon Prime. Nice try tho!
SToP
He is an angel and everything he says here makes sense. I hope that other parents will begin listening to him. And the suicides stop.
I love how genuine he was. His love for his son is so apparent, as is the happiness that Dana has. It's so easy to tell that how Dana hurt in the past hurt Skip and he doesn't want anyone else to feel that pain. Just loving all the love from this.
Seeing such a well educated and loving parent educating others about their experience with trans issues makes me so unexplainably happy
I have sent this video to my parents hoping they watch this along with posting to all my family and friends on Facebook. I am 53 years old and have been on testosterone for over nine months. With the exception of my long distance fiancee and a couple of long distance friends, I have never been so alone in such a big experience of my life. Yet I know that I couldn't live one more day without going through transition. I'm grateful beyond words that you shared your story Skip. I hope my parents in their 70s now will learn from your amazing talk. Thank you so much.
How did it go?
DrIsrael Avraham omg i know it doesn’t mean anything probably but I’m so proud of you!💞
I am so proud of you!
I admire your strength and wish you all the best so much. Maybe there is a PFLAG group in your area if you live in the USA. They are a national group across the States. And support LGBTQ. And they are such great people and can give you support or any help that you need. You aren't alone. Big hugs. Xx ❤️❤️
I'm just reading this. I'm a moderator a group on FB called "The Original Trans Men over 40". It's a group of trans guys for trans guys. I transitioned at age 65.
I’m going to subtitle this in my native language and to show this to my folks. Thank you sir for being such an amazing father and person overall, I hope my parents will be as inspired by your talk as I am and try to understand me more
I hope your parents are able to understand you better, as well. Sometimes it takes time for parents to get used to it. Blessings on your journey with this!
This is brilliantly written and beautifully said. Thank you for sharing, for caring enough to help others understand. My sister was born intersex, raised male, but always knew she was female. She made the most of her life, serving as a police officer for 18 years... then one day in her 30's, she realised she couldn't keep living a lie. She transitioned, changed her name, lost her family (wife and two kids), and retired from the police to study medicine. I didn't know her back then, but when we met we became family, sisters of the heart. Today she amazes me every day with her courage as she faces the end of a very full, not always pleasant life. She has MS, and spinal issues, bad knees and shoulders from a very active sporting life and lives in chronic pain. But every day she makes the most of the days she has, and my family is HER family, and she is the sister I always wanted...
DANA FRICKING SAVED A GIRL. WHAT!?! THATS INSANE!!! The way his dad described it made it sound like he had the reflexes, quick decision making, and athletic ability to be a superhero. IM IN AWE FROM THE STORY! HE IS A MASSIVE LEGEND I STAN HIM AND HIS FATHER SO MUCH!!!
Dr. Pardee you are the essence of a father who has unconditional love for their child, and have done an outstanding job in supporting Dana's choice. I hope you do reach out to children considering approaching their family about being transgender and provide a model for acceptance of their choice. It is also an honor to know you personally, and share your journey with everyone you meet.
This is a wonderful video. Very powerful. As a trans person, I am very thankful that you did this talk!
I loved this too! You're very handsome!
It's amazing
AJ's Journeys I agree with you
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’m 62 years old and I came out at 58 and your video explains everything so well I’ve shared it with my siblings and my son who haven’t talked to me since I transitioned.
Thank you so much,
Mae W.
It's sad of your child doing that but also your child may be fearful of being judged because of this. Your siblings however.. how awful. Hope they have came around.
I love how there's so incredibly little negativity in the comments, it just shows how you simply cannot watch this man's emotional speech and still clutch to any prejudice you have. As genderfluid myself, I've struggled with my identity all my life, and I still am really. People like this give me hope that maybe the next generations won't have to be afraid to be themselves, no matter how different.
Yeah, I was pleasantly surprised about the lack of negative comments as well.
LOVE and RESPECT to this man - you are a FATHER. WOW. Humbling.
My child just came out to me today. I have never gone through such a massive array of emotions. I'm hear to watch, listen and learn. I have a long way to go. But I'm starting today.
I’m glad you’re a parent who is willing to learn. Also how is your child now?
I sure wish Skip and Veronica were my parents. You two are AMAZING and I wish your family the absolute best!
Love,
Secret t
What a wondeful father.
i love how honest he is with his emotions, he will allow himself to be upset, to get tears in his eyes, but will continue to talk.
When he cries it just breaks you inside and wants you to cry with him❤️ bless his soul❤️
Broke my heart when he talked about the locker room.. something I'm very afraid of..
First of all let me thank you for being a proud parent and speaking about it. As a transgender woman transitioning in her fifties it give me hope that more of the generation coming out to day wont have to go having a parent reject them because that is one of the most devastating and haunting thing that can happen to use as I no from my own life having mother refuse to recognize my transition and my preferred name , So it does not matter weather their five or fifty that support of one parents is desperately need . Their are enough other obstacles ahead in their path , Diane
:C So sorry for your pain, but thank you for sharing and being yourself
Congrats on your transition! I am ftm just starting transition over 50. I am sorry to hear about your mother not accepting your transition. I think it may have to do with her generation, I see such an evolution in attitudes for every decade of age. Not always of course. We have come so far, I have received much support so far. In my opinion it's better now than it ever has been. I know I will have some people that won't 'get it', but I am not gonna focus on them, I will and am appreciating the wonderful people who have been so supportive. I hope you have some great friends who are behind you.
Thank you for sharing your story ♥️ and congratulations on transitioning! I bet you’re the most beautiful woman in the whole world. ♥️
@@bronsonmcdonald5473 I'm sorry this is such an old post. I wish I could talk to you about how it's going. I'm 57 and have been considering transitioning for years but think I'm too old.
Heidi Ohana It’s never too late to transition! It’s never too late to be yourself!
I'm a trans man 31 and been transistioning for about 7 years now, this dad looks like my grandpa! Hes not here now but this story is amazing deffinitly a tear jerker. Thank you!
Wonderful talk Mr. Pardee. It is people like you who are helping to change the hearts and minds of people who do not understand us, and for that I am truly grateful.
i'm in tears,it's so nice to see a parent that is so supportive towards their trans child. i wish my parents where that nice and comprehensive with me. dana is such a lucky man,it's obvious that his dad love him unconditionally
Love here for you, Sir. Your trans son is a very lucky person to have you, your love and your support.
even if i dont believe in god - god bless you sir - may ever child have such a father - my deepest respect
What you said sounds like a true "Christ-like" Christian.
I wish you were my parent, sir.
Wish there are more supportive parents like you, then the tragic stories of suicides wouldn't wouldn't have happen :(
They still happen and its not just this that leads to suicides ! .
i am full on ugly sobbing right now because i. i will never have a parent like this. when my parents found out i was calling myself bisexual, my dad cried and my mom didn't talk to me until christmas. they would never accept my gender.
I hope that someday they will finally understand..
Stay strong
I am sorry paige that your folks are not accepting. Maybe showing this video would help.
Awww sweets there will always be someone who excepts you, stay strong!
Then they don't deserve to be around you, easy. If they can't accept you, that's their problem.
What an amazing man he is and Dana is so lucky to have such a beautiful family. ❤️ from South Africa
Thanks for this beautiful presentation, and as you ended it, that was very meaningful, and will accomplish all that which you hope for. This from a 76 year old Trans Lady who has only been out 6 years now. You are very accurate on your presentation. ChloeAlexa
A great example of Transgender loving parents. Dana will be great also. That's a FAMILY ! !
I wish my dad was you😢
I wish I had a dad 😂
I cried so hard
He is so proud of his child. That’s love. And I cried when he cried. That was the most real, heartbreaking cry I’ve ever seen. I’m not even sure how I feel about trans etc, but I do know I feel the same way about my kids as this man does.
I wish my father was a fraction as passionate and accepting.
Skip you are an amazing person and your Ted talk has and will change many lives for the better!!! I loved getting to know you and your beautiful family! Thank you for being you! XO Nikki Warren
This is so pure I love it
I wish I had a dad like that. Supportive and loving
When you look up the words, "unconditional love" in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of this family. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story.
What a great dad, great parents!
This guy has to be the sweetest old man I’ve ever seen. Definitely one of my favorite TED Talks.
I wish I had a father like this man growing up. maybe then I wouldn't be in that percentile that tried to commit suicide. it took me over 10 years, but i finally came to terms with who I am.
I am glad that you are still here and I am so proud of you!
Congratulations! Im so happy for you!
I have watched this several times the last 8 years, you're a hero, my family rejected me. God bless you extremely!
As a trans-guy (Still in the closet) this makes me so confident.. I hope my family react like this kind gentleman .
How are you doing now?
This video is so powerful and touching that it made me cry so many times while watching it. He exemplifies how a dad should be and his family exemplifies how a family should be. Additionally, the story of his trans son shows how most of us trans folks are just normal people with good characters. Our love and ethics are no different than those of most cis folks. Thanks for sharing your story! 💜
He has the same "protocol" that I do with my trans son. I refer to my child before transitioning as her/she. And after transition as he/him.
Sorry for a bit of an out of the blue question, but was it hard to start calling your son by he/him pronouns at the beginning? How did you get over it? This is a year after you posted this so I don't know if you'll respond then lol.
Such a wonderful father. Thank you
Hey, it's been like a year since you made this post. I hope your journey has been a positive one. I hope time has helped give your parents perspective. I hope that you have found what it is that you want out of your life, and have not become part of the unfortunate 59%
Hang in there, there's a lot more of us out there than it seems, and we tend to be pretty supportive.
~A fellow trans person.
It fills me with hope to see that no matter what age, profession, religion someone is, they can be so accepting, loving and open-minded. I really hope too meet more people like Mr.Pardee in my life
I wish I could have parents who call me their son. I can wait, they'll get there soon
good luck
Earth's Alien it took my mom a good 2 years to accept me, but she's more accepting now. Hang in there!
Best of luck I hope your right and they come around soon if they still haven't
10 years ago I told my father: ''Dad, I'm a girl.'' We never spoke since, he never even saw me. The bad news: it may happen to you too, the good news: don't despair, you WILL get used to it, turn the page and live well without him, possibly even better than before,
IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD!
Thank you Mr. Pardee, this emotional presentation moved me to the core. Love, Rose🌹
At first is really bugged me that he used she/her pronouns but he is a really good dad and he really tries, and when he cries it was so heartbreaking and sweet
I would have loved for my family to have been like his. But no, my family self eliminated, they have destroyed my life. This video gave me hope for others. Thank you
ugh, i hope that some day they'll understand..
There will always be someone who loves and cares about you🧡
Thank you so much, my 10 year old daughter has just informed me she is really my son. I will be as proud to call her my son, you have helped me on this journey to understand the vital importance of acceptance.
This man's heartfelt speech has mad me cry. Biggest respect to him. Keep spreading the love and joy in your heart and help teach others to do the same.
Beautiful story. Thank you all for sharing your family journey and for being an example of how to love and support our children unconditionally.
You Sir, and your wife are shining examples of what a Father and Mother should be. Very moving and informative. Thank you for sharing your journey :-)
I cried with him !! What an amazing man ❤️🙌🏼 I love the way he talks about his family with such love and admiration it’s really beautiful.
The world needs more fathers like this
Thank you for this story. Hope you all doing well!
You changed my life.
Thank you for this video and this TedTalk. You and your family are such inspirations and I am very proud to live in a time like this and to know that there are loving and genuine people out there like you and your family. Bravo.
I've honestly been psyching myself up to go thru transition alone. I've been preparing myself to just push through it by myself because I don't know how to tell my parents. I've been terrified, cause I know people can be horrible... but I'm so glad I found this video. I'm so glad this exists. I'm smiling ear to ear and thinking up a new plan so I don't have to be alone, cause I love my family and don't want to lose them at all. Thank you so much!
this dude hit the nail on the head with his speech. it was just absolutely perfect. amazing father.
He's such a great example of an accepting parent. I wish there were more people like him, not that I agree with his opinion completely, but he's trying to get it right and he cares so much about Dana.
I'm going 2 show this video 2 my parents. Wish me Luck!
Asha Gaur i hope it goes well.
Good luck. Stay strong.
Every time he choked up, I choked up this is what the world needs. I hope this man inspired someone somewhere to love their child for who they are
8:35 made me well up 💔
Everyone needs to watch this and understand the pain and struggle of someone dealing with gender mismatch. So much love and power to this family ❤️❤️❤️
i dont know why it always moves me to tears when i see a dad just simply loving there child
Thank you for this video. You're helping a 67 yo transwoman screw up the courage to tell her 90 yo mother that she is trans. I've been on hormones 15 months and am taking the first steps in social transition. I know the joy of seeing that smiling face in the mirror after 35 or more years of depression. So I know the joy in your son's heart. Thank you! ❤️
Mission completed sir!!! I’m a 28 year old trans man who has yet to physically transition. The next time I see my father, he and I will watch your talk together for the first time. And I am so scared. He is also a conservative ex military NCO. Thank you sir for giving me the courage to continue living my best life and courage to tell my father. Thank you. *salute*
Let us know how it went!!