My Two Mums (The Myths of Gay Adoption) | Lynne Elvins | TEDxBristol
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- Опубликовано: 12 дек 2015
- When people announce they are going to have children - the normal reaction is “congratulations!” When you’re a gay couple who announce that you are going to adopt, you can get a very different reaction.
Lynne and her partner Emma, became the first gay couple to be approved for adoption in Bristol, UK, in 2004. Lynne takes us on the incredibly moving and thought-provoking journey her family embarked on with their adopted son Steven.
She also addresses the media headlines and myths around same-sex parenting, the machinations of the adoption process and society’s ingrained assumptions about gender roles.
This talk is from TEDxBristol 2015 Great Expectations: looking towards a future we can dare to expect more from.
Explore more Great Expectations here: tedxbristol.com
Our talks were produced and edited by a brilliant team of talented volunteers:
Richard da Costa
Ben Scrase
Gabriella Zagni
Ellie Markwick
Mark Phippen
Ash Farkas
Helen Stenner
Composer: Matthew Pearson
“Women can do ‘dad’ things in exactly the same way that men can do ‘mum’ things.”
In this thought-provoking and very personal talk, gay parent Lynne Elvins explores what ‘family’ means in the 21st Century. She describes how we can all re-connect and be part of wider families, providing caring, kind and inspirational role models for the next generations, regardless of our sex or whether we share the same DNA or not.
Lynne Elvins is a design strategist and runs her own consultancy business. Lynne and her partner Emma, became the first gay couple to be approved for adoption in Bristol, UK.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
when i was in kindergarden ( i think i was about 3) there was a boy with two mums and i remember the day someone told me because my little brain started to think, my conclusion was : since he had two mums and they both were his mum then one most have been pregnant with his head and torso, and the other with his legs and hips, then he was born and sown together at the waist. child logic at it's finest
I... don't know how to respond to that. lmao
That's pretty funny
That’s amazing!!😂 Child logic is the best
Yeah that’s how it works
Hayli made my day
Yes, I think that gay parents would have approximately as much success in turning a straight child gay that straight parents have had turning gay children straight.
Lmao this is an amazing comment. Thank you Victoria
Pablo Rages did your dead religious grandpa tell you that? Because that statement is _outdated._
My parents are so straight and I’m dating a girl. I’m dating a girl because I look at girls and I see that they’re attractive. And I’m having the time of my life.
I have two straight parents and I'm a pansexual demiboy
@@Victoria-cg5np SAME
I don't understand why people are so desperate for the whole "Straight, male/female family role." But they forget that they don't always work out; fathers and mothers both leave, some straight parents are abusive, "A child needs a dad" say that to single mothers and children who have been raised without one because of whatever reason. "Gay people will turn their children gay." Then how do you explain the fact that straight parents don't always have straight kids. And gay people who adopt are choosing to have children, heterosexual couples don't always want children but have and raise them anyways, at least they chose to love and take care of someone who needed it.
You should be a motivational speaker.
There are many different reasons why both sides believe certain things, if you want to know, you should ask, and yes, it's hard, watching this was a little difficult for me
@@Belesprit656 I'm sorry if this sounds like an attack but why was it hard for you?
IM GUESSING WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT THAT SOME MESSED UP LGBTW PPL ARE ABUSIVE AND DONT WORK OUT EITHER!!!!!!
@@husnasulaimankhil232 yeah obviously?
But straight couples too
I don't know why people assume that gay parents are different from straight parents. Having gay parents doesn't mean kids will be gay having straight parents doesn't mean kids will be straight. Being a straight parent doesn't mean you're a good parent.
totally agree
Totally, right, the only thing kids need is love to grow up right,
At least what they said makes sense, Mr. "Kids will be a murder"
Gay parents ARE different than straight parents, but that doesn't mean they are worse. They are just different. Children will turn out the same, in some cases even better.
yes, and I have read more news about homofobic straight people killing gays ane lesbians than the other way around.
Its more likely they'd be better considering what most of them have to go through to get the child. Gays having children is a process more than an easy decision
"Children need a mom and a dad" Well tell that to all the single parents, mom and dads, to the children who have only one mom or one dad and are perfectly fine!
Anna Heart what? My dad is rarely ever home, I'm fine with just my mom.
Anna Heart 1) my dad has almost NEVER stayed with me. Even when I'm back in China (where he works), he is still pretty much nowhere to be seen. Sometimes I even forget I have a dad.
2) I'm not sure if it's just my community but I have less insecurities than my friends, who lives with a loving dad and mom.
No, they are not perfectly fine, they are dealing with the situation the way they can . the parents put upon the children the consequences of their lack of responsibility. Nwver asking the children if they want to be in a singel parent family. At least when one parent dies, the children know that the other parent also loved them immensly and this bring a peaceful closure in children hearts and minds.
Children of divorced parents are perfectly fine????? What planet are you on?
Kinnish 🤣🤣 dam I gues where u live single parents are really bad my mom and friends that have a signal mom are fine.
I am the daughter of gay parents. I have no idea what it's like to have straight parents. I will never know what it is like to have anything different. So it's funny when people ask "Whats that like?" and I really never know how to answer that because I only know my parents and how they raised me.
jan no one said she was adopted one of her parents might have bin trans
Well for one thing I'm not adopted. I have two moms and two dads. My moms always wanted kids so they asked a gay couple they were friends with (spoiler alert my dads) to donate a sample.
no trans woman can have kids with a cisgender woman
jan simonides I'm so sorry that your view of family is so limited
Look, you clearly have a lot of opinions and I'm am probably not going to be one to change them, as much as I wish I could. You obviously don't understand the LGBTQIA community and I am deeply sorry because it is lovely. I hope you come to change your mind and understand and accept families like mine.
I had the hugest smile on my face when the crowd applauded her statement saying that women can do fatherly things, and that men can do motherly things. :)
jan simonides well single parents duh
jan simonides not really. can you show scientific and statistical proof? I would like to get the links from you to find out where you find all this bullshit from
jan simonides did you think about the possibilty that that might be a consequence of divorce/death of a parent and the following mental state of the children?
The amount of patience and the kind of abilities you have differ from person to person
jan simonides that doesn't mean anything the differences between the male and female brain have more to do with behavior. though women tend to be more patient then men thst doesn't mesn a man can't learn to be just as if not more patient. I know tons of masculine straight girls and feminine straight men. behaviors and mannerisms can only roughly be associated with gender, it mostly varies from person to person.
Im glad they ask that question in the interview, "What would you do if your child turned out to be gay"
Lovely video, this really encouraged me as I am an adopted child. My mom had us two boys. One straight, one gay. She never treated us differently, other than to our own personalities, but she loved both of us very much, like Lynne in this video. Straight is wonderful! Gay is wonderful too! Bisexual, asexual who cares.....Let's just love our families and stop the hate.
Agreed :)
Darkelf1969 how wonderful
Can i get a amen in here?
I fricking agree so much xD
@@soygato2722 Amen
Why would people rather a child not have a family and be thrown from foster to foster or just in the care system instead of two moms or two dads that are so eager to love and support the kids and give them the life a child deserves?
Because it's not them who will have to go through being raised without a loving home. People find it so easy to make horrible decisions when they only affect others.
I CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU PEOPLE JUST SAID BUT I AGREE
As an adopted girl with two moms I love this video so much
Hey, Would you have a time to describe your situation? How do you feel about having two moms, were there any issues with understanding your situation when you were growing up etc.? I'm just curious, I'm trying to get more honest info on that topic.
@@Whatever16167 How do you feel by having one mom and one dad? You can't say, because you never had two moms or two dads, and in her case it's the same, she hasn't one dad and one mom, so she can't compare neither. It's normal for her to have two moms just like it's normal for you to have one dad and one mom.
I wish you and your family the best
I am studying psychology, and our professor mentioned just yesterday in development psychology class, that the only thing a child wants and needs, especially in early stage in life, is just love and affection, and that the gender of the parents really has nothing to do with it... Not rocket science, but still science!
Interesting! I would appreciate if you can give me some reference because I am trying to research this to no avail
Never trust anyone else’s opinion on any controversial political/social issues like this
"our professor mentioned..." how does that make it "science"?
@@lyonsfamily9502 She is studying psychology and when professors MENTION something in class it usually means that they are teaching it from the curriculum.
I think more people should adopt regardless if they can or cant produce children. There are so many amazing little people out there who need as loving family or home and instead of bringing more people into this already overfilling world, why not help one who is already here navigate their way through, when they need it most.
I’m sorry you make an excellent point but something about Lord Voldemort saying “amazing little people”... I can’t take you seriously XD
thats what they are lolol
very true
Maybe not killing the parents of little kids would also help.
This is my opinion exactly why are we creating more babies and children when so many need homes and families. While we are over populated now there has been a significant rise in infertility rates that needs to be addressed if infertility continues in the short term it will help overpopulation but long term if some event were to damage humanity’s demographic then it could eventually lead to our species dying out, especially if infertility rates continue to grow like they have been in the future.
There are so many children in the world who need parents. Why anyone would allow outdated biases against gay people to prevent a child in need from finding a loving home is beyond me. I'm so happy Lynne and her partner are paving the way for other gay couples to adopt.
How convenient. This is the same logic companies uses. They want the coast of their product to be cheap, in order to fulfill their personal interest which is to make more profit. So they relocate their production in poor countries like India or China where they judge that people need work and that work is the only way for them to get out of poverty, and how convenient it is when those countries don’t have protections for workers and where the minimum wage is like 2$ an hour. This is called exploitation. So yeeeah let’s go and take advantage of the political and social disorder of a country…
In this case what you are suggesting is that children who are in need of care and love should be used to justify political ideologies… this is exploiting need for personal desire, and this is called love and care ??? If you care about those children you wouldn’t use their unlucky situation to fill a void you created by your own choices. It’s not even due to infertility.
As a son of a single mother with minimal to no support from my "father" I can say that I believe I've turned out rather well
That doesn't mean we should normalize fatherlessness tho.
@@jamiejokersin354 op never said anything about that...?
@@hearthebellsring3990 No but this video does.
Excellent talk. Being a gay dad, I like that you said "Men can do mom things" and that you understand the "struggle to deal with the consequences of those difficult early years".
Love that comment of yours :)
Gary G I hope the best for you and your family
if they can why god created woman and man if both can do the same thing it should just one gender why creating two different genders with different body and abilities
@@rukiakuchiki3515 maybe he wanted to create men as the only gender, but after he was done he realised that there were so many things he could improve, so he created women and just didn't destroy men because of pity ;)
Who knows? I never asked him. Did you?
so you never asked him but you are giving theories of why he did this and that ? the day you meet him ask him if you will be able to talk
I find it ridiculous that there’s a stigma against two loving parents, giving a deserving child a caring home and a good future. That child could’ve been lost into the system, possibly failed school and end up on the streets or in prison. That child is very lucky to now have such caring parents in his life.
It's so odd when people say "having a kid raised by same-gender parents will make them gay"...like even if it were true, so what?
***** 1. gay couples adopt, and in any case, are you also saying that infertile straight people should be shamed? 2. Anyone can get AIDS...HIV is an STD 3. Suicide rates are higher because of mistreatment (probably from people like you, wouldn't you say?) 4. again, everyone gets STDs (which includes HPV)
Ugh. So painfully stupid
+Jan Simonides aarh i can see you have been here too... I can see that you have not changed one bit, you still have really bad arguments, but i am not surprised!
***** this makes about as much sense at the rest of your nonsense!
jan simonides again you are not making sense. You still want to blame gay people for the ills inflicted by the likes of yourself.
I love to see so many calm, collected people gathering in one place to talk civilly about this simple topic that is taken so toxically by some. It inspires me to know there are people intelligent enough to know that being calm could be the answer to getting our points across
yes!!!!
Yas
Yes but still, those are really superficial points she makes. What about the ontology and the anthropological questions ?
This is quite a simplified philosophical and psychological approach because it sounds nice and simplified statements for overcomplicated issues make it for people a lot harder to reflect on them from a neutral and critical perspective.
when she said that "you're so special that you're gonna have two moms" part i got so emotional that I started crying idk why
Anyone else on a Ted Talk binge? I know I am am 🙋🏽♂️I honestly couldn’t sit through any one of these videos because I had a horrible attention span and patience wasn’t one of my skills but now as I’m 16 And was around 13-14 back then I find myself understanding more to life through others perspectives. This is how I’ll be spending my winter break since no one really wants to spend it with me outside or going out anywhere but I’m OK with that because I’d rather know more about important ideas and issues in our world ❤️
Hail Lanadelrey Me too 😊
Same here ^-^
Same. I don't have friends so I've been watching videos about Taoism and Iceland.
@@meandmybobbygee1812 thats ok :)
Well It is summer 2022, 1am where I live and I'm binge watching TED talk. I don't really go on any vacation with my family and I'm tired of the area I live so I decided that's the best thing to do while I rot in bed all day. I'm a 14yo who has been detached from reality since quarantine had started, I have been stuck in year 2020. I haven't been watching TV or any YT videos regarding facts that are going on in the real world but these last days I just have nothing better to do. I'm trying to educate myself on certain topics and see what I can do to improve but also help
Even though my parents are probably the straightest people I've ever met, I've still never been able to understand what people say about gay people adopting children. My dad never did much, so instead we were mostly raised by our mother. She was assisted in this by her grandmother and mother. So the three of us were raised by three women, rather than by a man and woman. In fact a lot of thing people would say about their father, I'm instead inclined to say it about my Great Grandmother. She takes up most of my young memories.
Even with this situation, we're fine. My brother is a perfectly normal man, everything he needs to know, he knows, and with no help from the man who was apparently meant to teach him.
And with me and my sister, in spite of the obvious terrible impression we would have had of men growing up, we still don't hate them. I know not every man is like my father. My brother himself is an example of that.
We grew up normally even with the lack of positive male influence. I can't see the need for a man and woman to do it. There's very little where it's necessary to need someone physically the same as you to teach you things.
Serah Valentine what does “straightest people I’ve ever met mean?”
@@aproxamillionwasps474 it means they're like perfectly made lines. They can't sit down, either stand, lean (which is very uncomfortable), or lay down. It's actually a serious condition.
I agree. I mean you have an anime pfp but besides that you're fine.
Sarah Valentine, I wish I was as resilient as you and your siblings. I wish most people were as strong as you and have your level of emotional intelligence.
I just realized I was raised by two women
To anyone deciding to adopt, I would like to congratulate you all. I also encourage others to do the same for anyone who announces or is presently has adopted. My pastor once told me to encourage the best for everyone, and I hope to do that.
I can’t be against two people wanting to take care of a child that needs a home. They were asked how they would compensate for not having a male role model in their home and they drew from their extended family and friends to fill that need. Maybe we as a society need to ask ourselves what we are doing to help the sons of single mothers. What should we be doing to help those boys? Because right now I would bet there are a whole lot more boys with only one mom and no dad than there are boys with two moms. Actually I will need to check on that. We all need to check on that!
aljuquees Exactly. I’d love to have two mothers.
Like the saying goes, it takes a village
For the people in the comment section who think a child needs a mother AND a father: they have, they gave the child up for adoption, remember? Your gender doesn't matter as long as you are a good, loving parent. People who think otherwise shouldn't have children.
Ryan White True. It really doesn't matter which gender someone is. They are giving a kid who was part of the system a family.
jan simonides How? In what way will a child, who was in foster care, be worse off by having two mums (and don't just say that they need a mum and a dad in their life, say more)
Agreed! Gender does not make one a good parent.
@jan simonides i bet u liked your own comment
@Szilárd Maku
I'm gonna take a wild guess and say biological parent(s) put their kids up for adoption for reasons. As in no, it's not best they're raised by their biological parents. This is not a fairy tale world.
Remember lads. As long as the parents are loving, care for their children, and stay together. The kids will turn out all right.
I'm so glad there are people out there who choose adoption as their first choice. It's so sad when people assume you only adopt because you "failed" at producing your own offspring. If I ever get to adopt a child, this child will be my first choice
Good. There are many children who are discarded and need to be taken care of.
When people ask me (im an in vitro baby) about my moms, I just say something along the lines of "Well, they say there's nothing like a mother's love; I pretty much just twice as much as a normal person."
She sounds like a fantastic mother
Well my straight parents didn't turn me straight
Same sister
@@someBody-bp1vc haha :)
Preach
Lol
Same
I want to applaud her but then i realize that im alone in my room and she cant hear me
No shame! XD I gave 'poetry snaps' several times while watching this and I was home alone too.
One day their son is going to realise how lucky he was to find parents like them.
FOR GOD'S SAKE! It's great children get addopted not put into foster care! Be happy they are going to have loving family!
AD Queen SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE ARSEHOLES IN THE BACK
What can you please repeat that
Children need love, not necessary mom and dad. The family is where the love is.
A child wants the love from its mom and dad above all else in the world. Even children abandoned as babies have a strong sense of pain for their entire life. Even if someone else "loved and raised" them. The void, pain, and hurt is often profound and affects their entire life.
“women can do dad things... men can do mum things” YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
My reaction exactly :D
It shouldn’t even be called “mum” or “dad” things. They are things that you do. You do whichever is suitable to YOU.
Can they, though? How can dads teach femininity and moms teach masculinity?
She didn't answer that
@@Moosa27 she did, she said she and her wife did not claim to have all the answers and would instead turn to the men in their lives (grandpas, uncles, family friends) to help. Just like with single moms.
@@cjandrian9163 Teaching masculinity is not just "how to shave beard" and stuff. It's not just about information. So no, asking men doesn't solve the complete issue
One thing is for sure. Children born to/ brought in to families with two moms or two dads (or even two moms and two dads in some cases) are children that are wanted! These parents have go to the extremes to get to be a family. And you don't just start proces without thinking or discussing about it. They should make it easier for lgbt parents! There are so many children needing loving parents, and so many loving parents wanting a child so badly!
It continues to baffle me that some people would rather have children in the world not raised by anyone who cares for them (orphans) than two people of the same gender raising them.
She seems like she would make a GREAT mother. Empathetic, wise and loving. Too many children need a loving home and a supportive environment.
I stumbled on this. Its the truth. There are bad parents and good parents, sexuality of said parents is irrelevant.
absolutely nonsense. There is a feminine nature and masculine nature that run deep in nature and both deeply affect children. Are girls better off nevering knowing a masculine father? Are boys better off never knowing a feminine mother?? Naive
Pablo Rages Of course it 'affects' the children, everything you do affects them. What they ate that day, who talked to them, _their parents_ , everything affects them, wether that effect is negative or positive has to do with how good they are at parenting, not what gender they are.
Pablo Rages 🤣 sure it does.
christopher bock Its not irrelevant at all.
@@kinnish5267 consider this, men can be feminine and women can be masculine.
Greater desire, greater empathy, less prejudice, what else could you ask for in parents?
I grew up with a strait friend who grew up with two dads, he is an amazing and good person and his dads are kind and much more supportive than my parents even, and they treated me very well whenever I was around at his place. Both his parents are devote catholics and have raised their son well. Which is why I never understood why people always took so negatively towards LGBTQ+ couples who decided to adopt.
I feel like as long as the child is placed into a stable household, it doesn't matter who the parents are. I know several people that should never had had kids and they're all hetero couples.
My parents... *Laughter of pain*
BOTH are important. Stable household, and having parents of both genders.
Children need to see both masculinity and femininity
@@Moosa27 masculinity and femininity are made up things
@@Moosa27 Masculinity and Femininity are social standers to keep people in line.
@@Moosa27 Im a cis woman and Im androginous, Are you implying I couldnt be a mother in a straight relationship cause Im not femenine?
I wish my parents had taken parenting this seriously.
All kids need are parents who are responsible, stable adults who love them. Your parents might be a mom & dad, just a mom or just a dad. You may have a mom & dad who are divorced & have stepparents as well. Some people are raised by grandparents, adoptive parents or even older siblings. Two loving moms or two loving dads are no different than any other parents children may have.
I had a horrible dad that I have not spoken to for 40 years. I certainly would have preferred having her as a second mum.
Then you'd have a horrible mom
Fr
"Well, I am super special too, and I think I want two moms!" IT'S SO PRECIOUS I CAN'T-
I know that it's late, but...
CONGRATULATIONS!
Ohh no... ohh no
I was supposed to study for my english exam but instead I was captivated by this.
This counts as studying, right?
Sini Keinänen yes
It is studying, just probably not the type of studying you needed to do for your exam. Don't worry though, I wish you complete and utter positivity and good luck. So, good luck!
@@lilians.402 thank you! I did pretty well even though I didn't study that much
It absolutely counts as studying.
Same here. Lol
No one seems to care that two male penguins adopted an abandoned chick ... But people are against two same gendered humans adopting ? I'm sorry. Hypocrites much ? O-O
Hun, hun, hun.... One, that was made in 2002. FIFTEEN years ago. Second, it is not on an official site, making it untrustworthy. Third, I bet you could find A LOT of other, more modern, ones proving this wrong. Just because you find a random article that supports your own beliefs does not mean it is a reliable source.
jan simonides, your comments are not needed here. Shh.. Listen to all of the people that can explain much better than I can.
*****, I'm sorry, but this is an innocent comment that I written. If you can look the other way, when animal species are declining, pollution getting worse and bees now an endangered species, you can keep your freaking fingers to yourself - and your opinions while your at it. I'd ask if you had come up with your hateful comment by yourself, but that would mean using your dumb as soup brain ! :)
Now... F**k off, if you could be so kind :)
He.. He never said that..
We also don't care about pigeons dying. But we care about human death
Why must adoption be the last choice !
Anyway I grew up with only a dad who played motherly role too. He was an awesome dad.
It's so heartwarming to see how supportive the audience is!
I am a teenage girl but this talk made me cry. I know that I want to adopt in the future and am now beginning to understand what me and my future wife will have to go through. My family will never approve of this.
Despite my parents being an opposite gender cis couple who remained married until I was 14, I was really raised (for the most part) by only one parent from the age of 5 years old, and that parent was my father...with help from the community we lived in, of course.
"The child needs a dad." What about single moms? The children of single moms don't have dads. They are fine.
Edit: Yall chill out. I wrote this comment a few years ago and I realize that my wording wasnt the best. Of course not all children of single moms will turn out alright, but there are plenty of kids with single mothers that grow up to be fine. There doesn't always need to be a father for children to be raised right.
not arguing against gay parents, but I don't think you can say children of single moms are fine. They exprerience much emotionally tougher situations than the majority of children.
lou leloup Then thats why two moms are fine as well
KeepCalmAndBlush I love this comment
Yo, my mom is a single mom and I'm fine XD
KeepCalmAndBlush I was raised by my mom and she actually gave us a better life than what we had when our dad was alive. You are spot on!
She’s so charming, I truly believe she is a great wife and mother
She couldn't have explained it any better, that was one of the most inspiring speech I've ever heard
I hate when people say,That a kid needs a father and a mother. I think A kid needs love and support because a mother or a father can neglect a kid. For example My boyfriend's mother left him when he was about seven. His dad Re married and his stepmother took care of him and he was cured from the neglect his biological mother left in him,Because of the love his STEPMOTHER gave him.
Much Happiness- If you did not hear Congratulations then you are hearing it now CONGRATULATIONS!!!
No one needs to bless you, you are already blessed with lots of love, knowledge and seeking wisdom! All the best to you and your family.
She and Emma love their son so much. That's the most important. Not many people would adopt a child who is 5 with this background. They are still together after many years, strong relationship and doing their best. Beautiful, wish Them the best.
the line about him being lucky enough to have not only one mom but two made me break into sobs. this was so heart wrenching and wholesome to listen to and it really filled me with joy.
As long as a child is loved it doesn't matter who brings them up, better to be loved than abused !
At 12:38, when she says that her child's foster parents told him he was so special that he was getting two mums, I lost it. SO beautiful.
The speech was so moving
IKR
Pablo Rages and why do you care ?
The research tops the unfounded beliefs of the homophobic. As does simple logic and understanding of psychology. I Dont get how people who have listened to this video can still have such a big problem with same sex couples adopting.
I believe it would be similar to adopting a child who is lgbtq. It's not expected that the parents have first hand knowledge of the experience, just empathy and the motivation to seek information they don't have to better understand their child.
Similarly, it's not a requirement that an adopter has experienced abuse or neglect to adopt a child who has, just that they can develop the skills to understand and support their child through their experiences.
The answer is simply! Because of religion.
every person using .....fobic words is naturally fobic. . It's not about parents, but the children
Same
Having two moms sounds great but wait until you get stuck in an infinite loop of "go ask your mom"
I suddenly started crying of emotion, it's the very first time I feel so, so proud of... i'd say humans actually.
💙💙💙💙💙💙
Well i am super special too and i think i want two moms
but i dooo
yes
WELL my father left me and my mother atfer abusing the both of us.. i blocked him on so many social media and ended up blocking his 17 facebook accounts! very happy for you and your boys but thats not how my life is
and ive seen his and i do not wanna see or hear anymore from him!
jan simonides hi again, clearly you have very biased and skewered views on things. clearly the father is wrong here. everyone lies. Girls and boys don't take sides unless they think the side is right or they are scared to say what they actually want to. Girls don't necessarily agree with their dads nor does little boys flock to their mothers. everyone has a different family and at the least learn to respect others instead of calling the "freakish creatures" as you've stated in another comment. if you're an adult that can make rational decisions, that stop discriminating
Life with a mum and dad is amazing but life with two mums would be a paradise of love .....❤❤❤
Congratulations on your family! I am so happy for you. Speaking as a person who has placed children, and has never had children, I love hearing these stories. You are an inspiration with your commitment to meeting the needs of children and the understanding you have of your son's needs.
Wow, I've always dreamed of adopting with whomever man/woman I marry in the future... but I never knew that there could be so much backlash. This is an inspiring, and an enlightening story.
I am almost cryinggggg that sounds like such a wonderful family.
My partner and I might not ever adopt kids because of our disabilities and right now we've got cats to take care of, but if we ever adopt any, we will do our best to follow in your footsteps :D
As a birth mother of two amazing children who, while in the process of applying to adopt myself (I have a condition that means I was going to lose my fertility at 25-27) were ripped away in exactly that situation of the bearest hint of one thing that could later have turned into abuse that you mentioned (by my husband who I'd have left on the spot for my children had it been properly explained to me), I have to say that I am so grateful that there are the kind of rare, adoptive parents like you, who are genuinely invested in the child/ren not just wanting the 'correct' trappings of a quasi-family. I bet your son is going to be a totally awesome man with you raising him.
D Laity we
You've been through it to hon? Sending tons of love.
There needs to be more people like you in this horrid world
What a wonderful human being you are! Thank you for this talk, it's truly inspirational. All the best to you and your family.
My heart has been touched. This brings so much joy to my heart. Cheers to you and your beautiful family, Lynne!
Absolutely brilliant! I needed this and I will need more of such truthful speeches. Especially the last part about families was amazing along with the whole story
Wonderful, moving talk. Thank you so much. You bring a lot of hope to many lives. All the best to you.
A la persona que subtitula el video mi mas sincero agradecimiento, buenisimo.
My wife and I have 2 boys. I was married to a man before and I gave birth to them. If they need anything they come to us, they don’t ask their ‘dad’. They just need a stable home, and to be loved. When I met my wife they were 4and 7, they are now 24 and 27 and they have turned out just fine. They have turned out far better than if they lived with their dad. As you say nothing is ever easy, but our kids are far more tolerant to people that are different in many ways and I’m proud of that ❤️🏳️🌈
Even he did have a father he wouldn't necessarily look up to him as a fatherly figure. Some children chose someone else as their father figure. Good for them!
It’s beyond beautiful that he has so much love everywhere
Adoptive parents have to be almost perfect, but a lot of children are raised by awful people who are not abusive yet terrible parents.
Amen
Thank you for this amazing talk, you made excellent points on the matter of gay adoption.
That's such a good talk. I suppose it's also paving the way for a lot of people who are planning to adopt, but are not sure what to expect from the system. I wish more people would adopt.
I have never watched a more informative brilliant talk such as this, thank you for this 🙏
it's crazy one of my "friends" told me one day that without a dad kids would tend to be delinquents or be more difficult and I'm still shocked by the dumbassery of this
Statistically what your friend said is true on so many fronts.
The foster family relationship warmed my heart so much! I have so much hope!
I'm speechless with this incredible and smooth explanation about those family minorities, it makes you understand so well thank you!
I live in a country where our families cuz us all type of psychological illness and strongly refuses LGBTG community .. while i actually prefer that each child in this world to have a loving gay parent instead of abusing mom and dad
Take a shot every time someone says "statistically" in the comments.
this might not hold true in future but just for the moment whats making me giggle is that most of the sour comments are written by the same person spreading their voice over like a hillion replies
Dude I would get liver cirrhosis
She made such a great point about empathy. There are so many myths about factors that make someone less fit for parenthood (For example, the myth that those abused in childhood are likely to become abusive parents.) So often, the opposite is true -- people who have struggled and faced unique challenges are frequently much more sensitive, empathetic, and resourceful. These are valuable traits to have as a parent.
I just stumbled upon this, but was deeply touched. While my mother was not adopted, she had to moms too. This speech reminded me greatly of my grandmother and some of the struggles she and my mom had to Face. Very moving.
I wish there was a way I could double like this. Honestly well said.
This girl and her partner are actually gem warriors )))
Inna Ivanova Oml XD
this is the kind of true story I want to see turned into a heart-wrenching movie
How do people think it's better for a kid to have no parents at all than to have 2 mums or 2 dads...?
Very honest and very inspiring. Thank you.
to all the people in the comments saying all the things they mentioned in the video and proved wrong, why bother watching the video if you are still gonna be so close minded about it
Thank you for adopting from the system. It is a difficult job but very rewarding if more people foster children world would be a better place.
the only bad thing about adoption is the process
i find it extremely unfair that adopters have to go thru a really difficult process to be allowed to adopt, whereas people who want to have their own kids don’t go thru this process, no one cares if they can provide a loving home for their kids, if they won’t abuse them
Dom Well, it makers sense because as she explained, children who are in the system of being adopted come from a place where their biological parents are not able to take care of them, that is traumatising enough, so therefore they deserve adoptive parents that make up for that. But I do get your point.