8 things you should NEVER do to autistic children | and what to do instead
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- Опубликовано: 19 май 2024
- #autism #autisticchildren #gentleparentingtips #parenting
This is a long one… but it’s because I have so much to say! I have added time stamps, so if you find some points more interesting you can simply skip to that chapter by clicking on the timeline in the video or here in the description box.
In this video I share 13 tips for what to do and what not to do with autistic children, and these tips also include teenagers and young adults. I also share examples for most points, and some tips of what you can do instead.
The tips will come up in green and pink information-boxes, so feel free to pause the video or screenshot these tips to save them for when you need them.
My book recommendations for parenting, and all sources mentioned, are linked down below.
00:00 Intro
00:15 Never hold down an autistic child
01:32 Tips for bad behaviours
02:40 Encourage better ways to deal with strong emotions
03:26 Tips for dealing with strong emotions
04:13 Never blame the child
04:37 Example: Trying to help my husband…
05:32 Dealing with unwanted behaviours
05:50 Tips
06:18 Adapt your home
06:57 How to adapt your home to suit your child’s needs
07:39 A humble approach
07:58 You don’t know what if feels like to be your child
08:13 Tips for parents
09:21 Stop saying “everyone is on the spectrum”
10:09 Treat your child with respect
10:30 Tips for parenting
11:07 Healthy food
12:04 Tips for getting your autistic child to eat healthy foods
13:05 Broccoli sprouts to treat autism
13:53 Consider home schooling
14:18 Montessori does not work for kids with ADHD/ADD
15:33 Introduce healthy special interests
16:22 Tips for healthy special interests
16:50 Love and compassion
17:22 Dinner is ready example
18:07 Don’t scream or yell
18:49 Make life work for your child
19:02 How to create a life that works for your child
19:34 Stop encouraging autistic kids to have kids!
19:45 Why autistic people should not have children
20:57 Parenting can be done better
22:35 Tips for communication
23:18 Final thoughts
Books you have to read
The Conscious Parent - Dr. Shefali Tsabary
How Children Learn - John Hault
The Whole-Brain Child - Daniel J. Siegel MD and Tina Payne Bryson
Peaceful Parent, HAPPY KIDS - DR. Laura Markham
Ted-talk on the schooling system • Do schools kill creati...
Studies cited
Lifestyle factors associated with depression - pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23415...
How diet affects depression and anxiety - pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24524...
Vegetarian diet for better mood - www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
Sulforaphane for treating autism - pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25313...
Treating autism in young men - pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27071...
Blueberries for improved cognition - pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28283...
Cognitive effects of blueberries for children - pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26437...
Thank you so much for watching 🌺
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I get a lot of questions on how to deal with children who won't eat, doesn't speak etc. This is one of my favorite therapists on the topic. She has a autistic child and they are doing great. www.tiktok.com/@chelseaous (I know it's TikTok but you can watch it in your browser even if you don't have the app, and you don't need an account to watch it. Just click the X button in the corner)
There is permanent herbs to improve autism. It’s a medicine you can get from Dr Oyalo RUclips channel, his herbs have made my son improve perfectly in his speech and social skills
Thanks for this my son is non verbal and it gets tough. I've learned to let him show me what to do and not get upset myself. That's extremely important.
My wife is autistic and has a bad liver causing yellowing in her face as a symptom of it.
She takes purified bile salts and this fixes the issue.
My son is also autistic and this is a great video.
Keep up the good work.
😊👍
I realize now that I am the problem, not the child. Thank you for these tips. I'll be revisiting this video often.
Thank you so much, that really humbles me
Beautiful comment
Same.
Don't be so hard on yourself we're all learning together. Hugs and love stay strong. ❤️
Respect. I cannot explain what that means to your child. But as an autistic adult who's never known NT people to do an effort to understand, show compassion or offer support in times of distress (even from close family or wife), I struggle to find reasons to keep being alive. Nobody has any idea how dark it is in my head but I keep getting blamed and yelled at (I'm almost 50 now).
It's so important to any neurodiverse person to know there is someone who can give comfort, acceptance and support. The levels of self-loathing in autistic people is usually sky high because they feel every day that they don't fit in this NT world. Living by itself quickly becomes such a hard task. So just by trying not to make it harder, you make an incredibly positive change in your child's life.
I know it's not easy, I understand it's not easy living with people like me, but if you can't follow through, both you and your child will suffer from severe PTSD and that's only going to complicate things even more.
As someone who works in special education, I so greatly appreciate this video. Sometimes I just don't understand what's going on with my students. This helps me to understand.
Oh thanks so much, that makes me so glad ❤️
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from RUclips here. His herbs work perfectly
I saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for Your herbs on RUclips. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement
As someone who has worked with Adults across the spectrum, I have a word of caution regarding “make life work for your child”. To a point I agree, especially when they are very young, however there has to be a balance as they grow up. Autistic children become autistic adults who won’t always be able to live with their parents. They will grow up and need or want to be part of society. If they have had everything conformed to them, they will not be able to function in the real world. While raising ANY child but especially ones on the spectrum, parents need to ask themselves “is this a behavior that will help them as an adult?”. If it is not, it should be worked on gradually until they are an adult. That way when they want a job, or a relationship, or heaven forbid their caretakers pass away, things will be so much easier for them. It is heartbreaking to work with autistic adults who want so desperately to do what their peers do, but can’t because they never learned that it’s okay to get outside of their comfort zone. 💔
As a 50 year old father of a 9 year old autistic son , I totally agree with you. Thankyou for your comment. I don't want my son to feel like he's been thrown to the wolves when I'm no longer around to guide and protect him.
Going through it now with my child the world is crucial. The kids are not excepted. I’m under a tremendous amount of stress
I love and appreciate how you explained this, because I was thinking the same thing. I believe this person lives in another country, so maybe the culture is different there, so maybe society there treat and or help autistic people differently and better than here in the U.S. Not sure. Or maybe the creator here, wasn't able to explain what she was meaning when it came to this. I'm just trying to understand all the possibilities.
I just left a comment regarding my 19 year old son who I’m trying to get set up on the right track as I’m very ill and don’t have much time left- I’m so worried 😢
A lot of wisdom in this post.
I'm a grandmother and this helped me understand my granddaughter. Thanks for sharing. Best of luck to you.
I appreciate your video so much. I also, as a mother of an autistic 7 year old, feel as though it’s much easier to make a list of things a parents should/shouldn’t do than to offer the alternatives. There is a learning curve to parenting a high need child and this could be discouraging to a parent who doesn’t have help or resources that I have had. My daughter has had a an occupational therapist since she was 11 months old. To say, “never yell” or “don’t have children if you aren’t going to be a great parent” is unfair. I agree with you that some parents should not have had children - but I’d also like to assume that most of us are doing the best we can. I know I am. And I have yelled, I have made mistakes, I have had very human moments….because I am human. Not superhuman.
I plan to create a channel with content for the parents of sensory/autistic children because I think more understanding, information and support is needed for parents like me who are doing their best.
I think your channel would be so appreciated! Please let me know the name of it once you do start it!
I agree, I think it depends on culture and education. I think a lot of people who have autistic children end up being the best parents because the struggle means something has to change, and i find it very inspiring :)
Yes, you are human too. I believe that the guidelines are helpful, but it is important for the parent who has limited help to be able to have self care. Not that this video actually said "don't take care of yourself" because as a parent of a special needs child you will need self care more than ever. Without that, it is even harder to meet the demands.
I think this video can be taken with a grain of salt. (Yes, definitely agree with you on the statements that were more harshly worded.)
If you know you are doing your best and are researching how to do even better (which I assume since you clicked on this video) than you deserve alot of credit.
Yes and at least where I live in the U.S., a lot of children aren't taught how to go through their emotions. Most the adults don't even know how to handle their emotions. It's so hard...
I also have an autistic boy. And tbh there days that I just can't be loving understanding and unconditional. If I don't show my frustration or anger Im afraid I migjt implode. We are doing our best. Managing full time work. Home duties and high costs of raising our autistic kids... I say we are doing all we can.
It was particularly difficult for me, as an undiagnosed adult at that time with SPD, to raise children (as a single parent without safe family to help until I married my late husband) & have therapists, teachers, caseworkers put all of these expectations upon me yet NO supports. I was somehow just expected to magically do these things. “Support” to them meant that they told me what to do (often the wrong things for both me & my children).
I agree with everything except one thing. I am autistic and have neurodivergent children and I am told I am a very good parent. I wanted kids. I didn't have them because I was expected to. It depends on the individual person. Autistic people can and should have kids if they WANT kids and are willing to put in the work also. I get that it shouldn't be an expectation. But it shouldn't be for anyone! We are a neurodivergent home and we make it work for everyone! I was really on board with every other thing you had to say and it was so refreshing to hear it all as they are the approaches that my husband and I take.
I'm a kindergarten teacher and your video has informed me and given me so many ideas to help my students. I cannot thank you enough.
Thank you! I'm really just very happy to have you here and for you to be so graciously receptive. Thank you 😃
You know what's crazy? I was diagnosed with autism since early childhood (before I started going to school) and it was something that everyone knew about me since the very beginning, and yet when I went out to the public world, when I started going to school as a little kid, people STILL did things and treated me in ways that traumatized me, and *I* was always the one who was bad no matter what anyone else did to me, they were right, I was wrong, and let me tell you, it screwed me up *bad* as a 22-year-old man.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I don't know why people treat autistic people so badly. I know a lot of people with autism and most of them don't do anything that's harmful to anyone. They stand out, for sure, but they're not hurting or bothering anyone. Most of them are good people with kind hearts. I don't understand the abuse they get just because they're a little different.
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from RUclips here. His herbs work perfectly
Just knowing that it’s them & not you can be a victory of sorts, keep confident in knowing that & I think it may be able to keep you more positive? I hope so !
I saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for Your herbs on RUclips. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement
Anger is a perfectly normal emotion, but society has 'programmed' us to see expressing anger as something shameful. Yes we need to find positive unharmful strategies for releasing our anger, but anger itself is not wrong or bad. I think this follows through for all people, not just autistic people. 💖
Yes I think most of these tips should be applied for all ❤️
@@HollySwedenStop
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from RUclips here. His herbs work perfectly
I saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for Your herbs on RUclips. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement
Frustration in me appeared to my parents as anger. I was yelled at, slapped, beaten with a belt, a switch or a fist. I tried to let them know that I am angry at nobody but that I am frustrated with myself because I could not fix my hair, do a math problem, got picked last in a recess game, or could not run as fast as the other children. I was frustrated when people misunderstood what I was trying to say. If I said something wrong then I was made fun of. I took myself seriously so I was laughed at to learn to toughen up.
Thank you so much for making these videos. I have a child who is now 13, who was diagnosed with Autism at 5 years old, and I am just now figuring out that my approach is truly not working and that I have to adapt to him and not the other way around. I am so happy to see that based on this video, I am now on the right track. I have lots of work to do, and I pray that it is not too late to turn things around. My approach to parenting was aggressive because that is how I was brought up, but that approach has totally made my son aggressive, and it is getting worse. My lack of understanding this sooner is definitely to blame, I totally own it. I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you. You are truly a godsend!!!!😊 ❤
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from RUclips here. His herbs work perfectly
I saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for Your herbs on RUclips. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement
It's never too late ❤
I am a retired teacher who taught children with special challenges. I like your advice and words of wisdom.
I feed ashamed and guilty for not treating my son the way he should be treated..I pray I can do better after watching your video
I am sure you can ❤️ if you feel guilty I’m sure you know what you can do to change, and that’s a very brave thing to accept and do.
my 5 y.o niece is autistic and non-verbal. I love her dearly and I want only the best for her
I did enjoy your video. My 37 year old son still lives with my wife and I. We dearly love and have cared for him every day of his life. ALL of the things you said are true. It was very difficult to try and make those things happen within our house. Luckily my son has a 2 year older sister that did not have Autism and was the glue that held him together so many times when my wife and I couldn’t. Something you said really hit a nerve and made me emotional while listening to yor video, I was in the US military for 23 years and when I was home, I would sometimes yell at my son when he was growing up (I tried not to). It was obvious at 8 years old he treated me much different than his mother and sister. Even to this day he reminds me of it and its like a knife in my heart that I can’t repair. So for anyone reading this, please take what this lady says as the minimum we must do for our Autistic children. Otherwise, they and we will suffer for some of the ramifications. I know my son loves me, I just don’t get to experience it as I do from his big sister.
I saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for Your herbs on RUclips. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement
Thank you.
I have a severely autistic child who does not (cannot) speak. I know he is extremely frustrated, even more than me, and I desperately want him to communicate with me.
He stomps the floor and bites furniture all the time. I struggle to keep plastic and metal things out of his mouth. But he creates these things by biting them off of furniture and toys.
Explaining things to him never seems to work. I've had to pull things out of his mouth many times and now he doesn't trust me. So He does it in secret. He's only 4.
I'll try to treat him with more respect. I want him to trust me, but I also need to protect him to not eat anything dangerous. He hears me say "No" so many times a day.
My heart goes out to you. I wish I could give you a hug or a day off. I hope you are not alone.
I truly appreciate your courage and love and sharing this. My daughter has recently been diagnosed with autism and I think it is a blessing to hear this from someone that can relate to her experience. You are helping so many with this video especially me and my family. Thank you so much
Wow, thank you so much for listening
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from RUclips here. His herbs work perfectly
I saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for Your herbs on RUclips. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement
THANK YOU! As an Asperger's Mother of Autistic twin girls this was so refreshing to hear! I LOVE how you explained things that should be very obvious to neurotypicals, like how yelling at your autistic child can be traumatizing when most Autistics have anxiety issues including sensory overload. It is so important to learn how to tell WHY your child is "acting out", it is usually some form of overload! So, yelling only intensifies the experience and takes the child longer to get back in control. In other words, DON'T trigger or contribute to the anxiety of feeling out of control; that's NOT LOVING and will damage the trust relationship. My parents did this with me and my neurotypical husband does this with my girls. I have watched these preciously innocent children go from admiration and believing that their father would be their protector and hero to wanting to hide when he is around for fear of being scolded and yelled at and feeling SO misunderstood, which has led to mistrust and self-hatred.
Also, THANK YOU for saying that school was your worst life experience; I wholeheartedly AGREE! My girls are homeschooled and I have fought firmly against everyone around me who wanted to institutionalize them. As you said, there are so many triggers there, NOT including the abusive treatment of peers! At home, we can customize the learning environment and minimize distractions ... AND eliminate the traumatizing peer experiences that certainly stay with you into adulthood! My girls love meeting new people which has helped when training them how to navigate shopping and appointments, they love reading and learning and are getting better and problem solving because they aren't locked down into a cookie cutter school system. We also have found some excellent RUclips channels that demonstrate concepts they are learning and put them into everyday situations, especially in the sciences and math. So, I would highly recommend this approach because Autistic children are highly visual and learn from observation and experience. Remember to discuss the video and break down what they saw because they usually pick up on different things than neurotypicals. It will be a learning experience for both of you! :)
I think this video can really help neurotypicals begin to understand the challenges of The Neurodiverse. I am always looking for videos that simply explain the challenges we face (both internal and external) and offer helpful tips and work-arounds! I'm glad I came accross your channel! 😃
Thank you so much!! What an incredible comment, and you sound like you’re on a fantastic journey with two girls. I love that you can see them and act intuitively and help them ❤️
I think fathers need to get on board in many ways, not only with autistic children, but I feel that a lot of mothers struggle with the same relationship as you do with their kids/fathers! I hope this can change soon!
❤️
Can you suggest channels to help with math? I'm struggling teaching that to my aspie kids!
How will your daughter's adapt when they are out in the world with people that have gone through the cookie cutter schools..the world does not make special provisions for autism..
Every person on the spectrum is different.
This channel gives her opinions on her experiences. By grouping all autism under one umbrella and treating them all the same is just as harmful
My husband and his response (and his ridiculous family) to our son's ASD diagnosis sound very similar to yours. It took him 4 or 5 years to get on board. He still really doesn't get it or try to. He is hard on him and doesn't see the anxiety he causes our son. It's been a long journey. I'd never ever divorce because I'd never want to give up half of my time. He's much better off with me around to check my husband when he needs it.
Thank you for sharing this, it has helped me a lot.
Joanna, thank you so much for sharing. You are absolutely correct saying that parents of autistic children should be more humble, more educated. It's so important to listen to such a clear explanation of feelings and worries of the young adults with autism. Thank you for the chance to see a beautiful person with so much insights! Thank you!
I tried not exposing my child to unhealthy foods until at least age 5. Unfortunately, well-meaning family, teachers, acquaintances, and social conventions kept getting in the way.
That is really hard. I don't know how I might cope with that.
Hi. I am a mother of a 7 yo autistic boy with social and language delays. I'm not sure it's realistic to say just don't introduce video games or candy. Is that then - no halloween? Kid's play video games. My autistic kid plays video games and we have taught him moderation. He knows how to set his timer and I think this teaches a certain kind of self discipline. Also his game time is contingent upon time spent reading and playing outside. @@SagaJohanna I am all for healthy eating. I always offer good whole foods and totally believe that food has a profound effect on everyone, and while I understand the intention is to influence your child in a positive way, we are not the only influences on them.
Same problem I'm going through! It's a struggle!!
I don't think this tip is a good one though. You can't remove everything they can't handle. Does your child really strugle with unhealthy food outside the home?
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from RUclips here. His herbs work perfectly
Thank you for sharing. Being autistic myself, I had a greater understanding of my autistic children. I homeschooled them both until they had the social skills to attend school. It was always their choice whether to attend school or homeschool. Respect and understanding…so important! Both graduated college and went on to careers that they love.
It's so cool to hear other autistic people's stories about how they had a bad upbringing and changed the whole game with their children!
How can someone who, by definition, has horribly impaired social skills teach PROPER social skills to someone? That's like asking a blind person to teach another blind person how to paint.
6:46 as an autistic myself, I find it's a common misconception even among autistics that only the negative, sad, anxious things are related to autistic "symptoms". this is why I prefer to speak about traits - because we are just autistic when at our happiest. we are still different in our unique thinking patterns and the way we express ourselves and tap into the sources of joy in this life (autistic joy is amazing!)
I helped my son reduce aggression and improve in speech and social skill with the help of Dr Oyalo herbal supplement I got from RUclips here. His herbs work perfectly
Thanks so much for this video. I have a 4 year old nonverbal son who was having a really tough day today and instead of diving into my depressive state I turned to good old RUclips and found this video. Your soothing voice helped him go to sleep. Thank youuu 🎉 so much info and I feel so empowered. I have my kids in homeschool and feel great now that I know it was a great choice.
Oh that is so kind of you to say, and so lovely to hear I could help
I saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for Your herbs on RUclips. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement
Thank you so much for your beautiful message. I have an autistic brother, and this gives me some great ideas of how to better communicate with him. ❤
Thank you for the education. I think unconditional love, compassion and respect are so important.
I totally agree!
This is so informative and helpful to me as a mother of an Autistic non verbal child. Their is no "one size fits all" approach to children/people and especially not Autistic children/people. Sharing your thoughts and experiences are most welcomed. Thank you for making this. Hugs to you.
Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to write me. Hugs back to you 🤗 Hopefully with more awareness and communication and compassion we can makes this a kinder world for everyone to be in.
My child has improved full and acting up right with his social skill and improved from his speech delay since taking dr Oyalo herbal remedy. He has no major signs of autism like he was since I got the herbs
Oh my! So can relate to the "dinner is ready!" Once I got married, we made the rule, "no yelling across the house" because it was so irritating to me! We decided that it showed much more respect to take the extra few seconds to walk across the house and say that dinner is ready.
Oh that's amazing! That's the exact rule we have. I can't believe I didn't think of that before getting married! But it makes so mcuh moer sense.
I taught my children to walk closer and speak more quietly. That was so much better for all of us, especially for me since I have found out recently I am autistic.
My child has improved full and acting up right with his social skill and improved from his speech delay since taking dr Oyalo herbal remedy. He has no major signs of autism like he was since I got the herbs
Am registered nurse who has been fighting the notion that my 4 kids are on the spectrum. Numerous assessments for my older girl is confirming my notion but i see how good my daughters are at masking their symptoms.
This by far is the most touching video ever I've seen on autism care and I've watched many.
Thank you for helping me reach this milestone of wanting to educate and help my kids from their perspective 🙏🏿
As an autistic adult, raising autistic children. Thank you! I’m having a hard time , burn out , at the moment… and these videos help me be kinder to myself
Oh, burn out is so difficult ❤️❤️❤️ I can’t imagine how difficult it would be with kids. Thank you! You got it!!!
I thank you for sharing this video, I have a teenager who is autistic and struggling to communicate his thoughts and it is frustrating. I have made this year to honor him and really help him with things that may be difficult for him. We are both learning as we are going through this process.
How amazing, and well done you! I struggled the absolute most as a teenager, and I think it's a very difficult time for all kids, but especially for autistic children.
Thank you so much for this video. My brother did not speak until he was 6 years old and I have always loved him. He is in a group home now and is 63 years. Now I understand why he leaves the room when they have the TV playing for hours. In fact, I cannot stand it either!
my grandson is autistic and this was the best information I heard thank you so much
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are so great in making us understand what autism s challenges are. Love always❤
Having autistic kids can be difficult. I plead with other parents of young ones to allow yourself to make mistakes, and continue to explain yourself to the kids and continue to grow and know your own limits as you both grows. I relate with the not yelling part , especially when theres a tantrum, its hard, and catch yourself when it happens and calm down , and explain and express yourself just the same way you want your kid to
I agree, apologizing as a parent is one of the most powerful things we can do!
It looks like this lady doesn’t have children, and then teach parents to be better… I’m sorry but parents are also human beings and have some emotional needs. No one is perfect, and do not expect someone to be perfect. Some parents are autistic too.
Amazing advice. I never yell at my son. He’s only three but I know how damaging it was when I was yelled at and how high my stress levels became as a result. So encouraging to know you have grown into a functioning adult who’s happily married. I just want people to accept my son and love him as much as I do
Thank you so much for the video. Just learnt that Son has Autism, our hopes were shuttered, but after seeing this video from someone who relates, it's kindled our hope. Thanks a million and one!
I saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for Your herbs on RUclips. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement
Thank you so much for this! This video was so helpful. My little brother has autism, and now I know exactly how to treat him, and fulfill his needs❤️ this video changed someone’s life,
This is such an important topic! Thanks for making this video, Saga. 💚
Aw thank you so much!! ❤️
I have an IEP next week and this is helpful in conveying what I need my son's staff to do for him and his environment. Ty, I've had to suspend my ego and stop seeing our relationship in a top down approach and working along with him. His Sp.ed teacher is very rigid and I'm not surprised he is hating school & throwing chairs!
Oh I'm sorry to hear that. I'm not surprised either, I hit my teachers, threw stuff and screamed a lot whilst I was in school. It was just not an easy environment for me. I hope you can find help with your child and help him succeed in school and at home
@SagaJohanna thank you for your kinds words. ❤️ oh we WILL be getting this resolved with the school. I know his rights and coming prepared. I'm sorry it was hard for you too, I hope you feel more supported and happy now. Take care 🙂.
You are a remarkable young woman. Thank you for this video. You have addressed this subject in such a loving and caring way. Any child would be blessed to have you in their life. As a Grandmother, I too love children with all my heart. But sometimes we do need to humble ourselves when dealing with an autistic child and realize we don’t have all the answers. Your suggestions are valuable and appreciated.
Thank you for your kind words. Kindness makes a big difference and so does humility. Humility, in my circles appears to be a forgotten virtue and there seems to be something about the role of parenting which can make it even harder 🤔🙏😁
My child has improved full and acting up right with his social skill and improved from his speech delay since taking dr Oyalo herbal remedy. He has no major signs of autism like he was since I got the herbs
I saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for Your herbs on RUclips. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement
The school I work for revolves around schedules and keeping a routine. A main issue is transitioning her from one activity to another... I want to do the best job that I can with her.
That's so good! I often struggle with transitioning as well, even as an adult. I need to be reminded that "soon we will finish this up and then in 10 minutes we will do this"
Thank you so much for making this video!! I have watched it twice already and saved it to reference later on.
I have so much to learn when caring for my autistic 4 yr old daughter. You answered so many of my questions in this video. I can’t thank you enough for making this.
Oh wow. This is gonna make me cry. Best comment ever. Thank you so much! ❤️❤️❤️
@@SagaJohanna 🥰❤️❤️
When u become her legal guardian and must do annual account report , your joy will be gone.
My child has improved full and acting up right with his social skill and improved from his speech delay since taking dr Oyalo herbal remedy. He has no major signs of autism like he was since I got the herbs
I absolutely love this. Great reminder...for myself as a mom! My daughter is definitely sensitive..has always bee. This way. She's 16mo, too young to know if shes nuerotypical...but I 💯 believe you are right and ALL parents need this!
❤ Thank you so much. That makes me very happy.
Thank you 🙏🏽
As a mother of a teenager son with autism your video helped me to understand him better
Thank you for your video. My 6 yo grandson is autistic and I am always trying to educate ourselves to make his life easier. That was very helpful!
This is a fantastic video! Thank you for taking the time to make a this helpful list and suggestions. Ill definitely keep this video saved.
I wish when I was a kid there were more people like you were around. I didn’t get diagnosed why was an adult and my parents wonder why I feel like they hurt me. They’ve never actually punched me or anything like that, but they will hold me down when I’m having a meltdown. It’s created a lot of other mental health issues for me. When people touch me, I tend to get very upset because it sends me back to when I was little. I don’t know if it’s like this for Nuro typical people, but it feels like things like that are incredibly traumatizing. I still have nightmares at my dad, screaming in my face and not being able to run away. It’s so bad that I grind my teeth at night and sometimes I catch myself doing it during the day. I don’t have a good relationship with my family and I really wish I did. But they will never understand me neurodivergent or not I would never hold my child down regardless. It’s incredibly traumatizing for a child to be put in a spot and screamed out where they can’t escape. I’m almost 30 and I still have night terrors from it.
Your video really spoke to me. I so agree. There are so many other ways to deal with our emotions that are healthy. I have a daughter who is one years old now. I’m not sure if she’s Neuro divergent yet. (I’m pretty sure she is because my mom constantly brings up how much she’s like my sisters who are normal. I was a very quiet child and head pretty clear signs.) but a lot of these ways work with regular children too. Nobody is born, knowing how to regulate their emotions. It’s definitely 10 times harder being on the spectrum. The biggest thing I found is if I get to an area where I can think and break my task down into small pieces it becomes doable for me. This works really well with children though too because I think all children kind of start with this brain. I know I’m very interested in learning new things but they have to be interesting to me. Or I have to make them interesting. That’s how I teach my daughter stuff though right now like she loves music so I’m trying to learn piano, her favorite songs on the piano and I’m going to teach her about music theory. We’ve already started, but we take it really slow. She still learning about beats and dynamics. There’s no rush though and I think that’s also some thing all kids need to hear. my biggest issue growing up was that I was never fast enough for anybody. I have an incredible memory, but it takes me a long time to actually catch on to things. I definitely think patience is key to being a parent with a Nuro divergent child. It’s actually really easy for me to deal with my child Emotional outbursts. They hurt my heart because I remember feeling so fed up and not being able to express it when I was at age 2. The biggest thing I do is I let her release the emotions I try to bring her back with breathing. When I have strong emotions, I also bring myself back with breathing. We cuddle I give her a big hug, and then we find something even more fun to do. Distractions also key, I know it works with me. Sometimes when I’m upset I just need to do some thing that will make me happy again. I wish I could take every child and help them with this. I’m not very good with people, but I love teaching.
I'm so sorry to hear about your upbringing. Mine was similar. I still experience trauma, flashbacks and terror from being held down so I know exactly how you feel. I also am very sensitive to touch and my husband is the only one I feel comfortable with. I rarely hug my friends, and basically never my family members. So I know your struggle.
It does sound however, as though you've found really good ways to interact with your child!
I can understand that my mother used to yell at me all the time. As an autistic that created issues for me even today I have trust issues because of that.
Thank you so much for tips and ideas. I really needed to hear this.. as my grandson was just diagnosed a month ago. Thank you
Thank you so much for the tips! I actually home school my boys who have a diagnosis. They are 7 and 4 my 4 year old has never been in school yet. Love & compassion is so important!!!! This blessed me sis!!!
My child has improved full and acting up right with his social skill and improved from his speech delay since taking dr Oyalo herbal remedy. He has no major signs of autism like he was since I got the herbs
Our 4 yr old was jst diagnosed with autism. Were worried but seeing this video gives us hope. Thank you
I believe you two will be fantastic parents. The fact that you are researching to learn is a great indicator. You are doing amazing so far.
I saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for Your herbs on RUclips. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement
Wow, just Wow!
Epic Vid.
Everything explained really well. I'm gonna share this with the Adults in my Family.
Hopefully help everyone understand what my Boy is going through & the best way to help.
Thank u 🤗
Oh thank you so much!!!!
Thank you for opening my eyes. I have kids that sounds very much like you. Thanks for explaining and helping ppl.
Have a great day now!!!!
Recently got diagnosed with autism at 23, and things finally add up. All my uncommon behaviours and ways of doing things finally makes sense. This video is super comforting to me. Thank you for sharing your own experience. Appreciate it.❤️❤️
That's so great to hear!
Hello Johanna ! This video is extraordinary, thanks a lot for your sharing. I think it's a video for everyone, everywhere, parents of an autistic child or not, even not being a parent... Just for every human being ! I spend some years learning the person-centred listening by Carl Rogers, to put it in a nutshell, the idea is that each person can grow, develop, reinforce herself if she is surrounded by a facilitating climate which is based on inconditional acceptance, empathy and benevolence (sorry if I don't use the right words, english is not my mother tongue as you can tell ☺️)... and it's a climate I didn't and don't encounter very often !
I really appreciate each and every of your content 😊🦋
Wow thank you so much! Yes totally agree. I think all these tips can be helpful for all children ❤️❤️❤️
10:43 you mention treating children with respect. Great advice. We’ve got a big job ahead; getting society to treat adults with respect so they learn how to treat children with respect.
Thank you for these good tips. I pray you understand parents are learning because sometimes father's leave the home and single mothers are trying.
My nephew is autistic and he’s so sweet he does some very CRAZY things but he’s a sweetheart,I just wanna learn how to work with him more since I plan on trying to be around him as I get older
This video is amazing! I'm so glad I came across it, you said some things that should've been common sense but unfortunately weren't. Thank you for your advice, I'll definitely keep it in mind when interacting with my brother. Man, especially the yelling thing...
Aw thank you so much!!! ❤️ these things haven’t always been known for me either, but luckily healing relationships can be done!
It's tough. Most of us are doing the best that we can. We are dealing with our own traumas. It is so important to seek help and break that cycle. This will help you be the best parent for your kids. With autism or without.
Thank you so much for this video. Am glad you shared your honest opinions and thoughts. I am humbled as a parent to have come across this video. Thank you. It was very helpful. God bless you for sharing your gift of love for children especially. ❤
Thank you so much. I feel much better about my 4 year old son.
This was very helpful to listen and learn and build an understanding from someone with first world experience. I work with an autistic and mostly non verbal kiddo that's 12. Has been a fun year with him already with lots of highs and lows and sometimes, not often I feel overwhelmed and like I'm not fit to work with him anymore after certain situations. This was very encouraging and helpful! Thank you!
That means the world to me, thank you so much. That's a very interesting age because they've had a lot of impressions but adulthood and its pressures are not (hopefully) too present yet. For non verbal kids in my experience patience is a virtue. Patience and a willingness to apologize builds trust that then creates growth. It sounds like you got just that!
@@SagaJohanna Yes! I agree and appreciate the reminder and encouragement. I definitely surprise myself at the patience I have grown and had even before with kids and adults like this compared to other people..I give it all up to God! He gave me natural abilities ( but even the best of us and I'm not saying I am anywhere near it at all) , can and do get overwhelmed and feel the pressures but we keep humbly seeking a line of understanding and communication with patience and accountability. 🙃
@@adaywithaleks6556 Yes, that's so important. The importance of restoring ourselves when caring for others, especially when it's demanding, becomes more important than ever before. It's better to take breaks and be able to continue for a long time helping people, rather than not listening to our needs and end up not being able to continue. Love your thoughts!
I’m watching so many videos on how to parent my son. He’s going to be seven this December and is now starting to not mind and I am guilty at finding myself in positions where I get so angry. At first I thought I was angry at him and I started to hate myself for it. I’ve come to find it’s just because I don’t know where to begin. This is the first video I am trying and I paused and am only 6 minutes in. It is giving me great starting points and I cannot thank you enough. ❤
I saw his recommendation and approach Dr Oyalo for Your herbs on RUclips. The herbs has so far work positive on my child’s eye contacts and speech improvement
Thank you for sharing this video. It helps me understand my nephews much more.
Thank you for sharing your experienced. I have autistic son and he’s 18 year old now. He suffered Tourette. My husband and I always patience the situation and hoping one day he can recover by doing strict diet & fasting. It helps at least though not 90%. You’re right loving and compassion what autistic need.
I have a nephew who I think is on the spectrum. My sister and other family don't see it or won't accept it. So I just want to make him feel safe and accepted whenever I can. (And have fun!)
I think I pick up on small shifts in mood and little behaviors that the rest of my family doesn't notice because I have ADHD. I was only diagnosed a few years ago (age 32!) But I've known for a long time. Looking back, a good word to describe myself as a child would be *oblivious*. And always feeling like life was a confusing game that I was 10 steps behind in. For the most part, my parents were loving and attentive, but a lot of the time I still experienced the feelings you described. Knowing I have (and had) ADHD with inattentive features makes things make sense now, and in some ways that makes me feel better. But at the same time, knowing NOW that I was and am actually pretty brilliant and wonderful in many ways, that just happen to not be what our society and culture values most--- That I actually wasn't a lazy, rude, stupid, or bad kid--- Makes me a little angry/resentful.
It makes me cry to think about. I never want my nephew or any child to feel like that, like they are "less than" or there is something "wrong" with them.
I work with kids like you and you sound pretty high functioning to get through the rough stages. I have a hard time understanding what kind of logic makes sense to kids ASD going through preteens...this is the hardest for me!
My child has improved full and acting up right with his social skill and improved from his speech delay since taking dr Oyalo herbal remedy. He has no major signs of autism like he was since I got the herbs
Thak you i love the way your aprouching this and your will too help autistic children and adults 😊😊😊 ❤❤❤
Your a blessing. Thank you from my heart for this video.
Wow! You really said things that need to be practiced. Thank you for inspiring me.
I was diagnosed very young and it really didn't help much. As a child "logic" got me in most of my bad situations. If an adult lied or gave an illogical reason for any rule or desired behaviour I would "explain" the mistake. I wasn't at all trying to be rude or bad or disrespectful. I think every single time I expected a happy revelation and resolution. I was beaten (which was adults solution in the 60's where I lived,)at first move towards "different" so no temper tantrum's or anger ever got far; before I was ( very physically) "arrested" or screamed at, or humiliated. I was surprised and hurt every single time. Every time was the time I thought it would "be okay" and I could figure it out and do it right. School was hideous. Needless to say I happily homeschooled my boys in a "safe" supportive,positive "out in nature" childhood of laughter and hugs. Every day, all day we said "I love you" and we still do.(They're in their 30's) and to them my autism is just as normal as can be. I apologize when I know I am annoying (but usually I notice I'm being annoying because they're grinning.) In my opinion I am perfectly normal, sure I still mask when I'm scared, but so do others. (In fact some people mask just to get my money or a promotion or look cool.) I like to be alone and I love all children and that's me. I like nice smells and soft touches and pretty things more than people. That's me too. I like you Saga 'cause you're wonderful! And that's you! Sweet and simple and complicated you.
Oh I'm so sorry to hear that! I'm so happy though that you could find happiness in your family
Beautiful ! pray that I be the best mom to my little boy !
Love him for him xx
What do you mean by holding down? When my children have serious “meltdowns “ I help them calm down with firm hugs. I think it helps them. I agree with everything you have said. I am constantly trying to adapt to each child’s way of seeing the world.
Thank you :) a lot of autistic children struggle with physical touch, I would experiment not hugging them and see if that works as well. But for me physical touch can help if I feel safe!
Firm hugs (bear hugs) is a proprioceptive activity that can be beneficial for a child.
@@jeremyjackson7326 It can also be overwhelming for some children, and adults. Not everyone responds the same and that's the big point.
@@jeremyjackson7326 it can also be traumatizing. Only children who seek deep pressure (hypo-reactive in proprioception) might like this. Others would feel terrorized, even if they eventually collapse in emotional exhaustion from resisting the hug.
This is a fantastic video. So many people do not give specific advice like you do in a way that is easy to understand.
My 8yr old son was diagnosed recently. Thank you for your tips.
My daughter is 4, number 1 has me is tears. I never thought about how what i was doing may effect my relationship with my daughter later on, or even how she may feel right now when i go to hold her down. I’m so deeply ashamed of myself for even doing that, especially now knowing exactly how wrong it is. I’ll probably spend the rest of my life apologizing to my daughter for it💔💔💔💔
Aw, I'm sorry to hear that
Excellent. You covered so many wonderful areas of autism. There’s a possibility my 21 month old grandchild has autism. Im reading and watching videos much of the time. I appreciate your sharing your experience, it will definitely help me when I am with her. I will share this with my daughter. ❤️
Thank you ❤️❤️
Thank you for your excellent video thank you for everything what you told I have a grandchild he is 4 years old with autism your video help me allot
Wait ! New to the channel and just checked! You are Swedish? Been twice from the US. I’ve felt more accepted and helped by friends there than anywhere on earth I’ve been. LOVE your accent!!! I’m convinced (anecdotally) that Sweden is far ahead of the US on ASD+ ADHD.
That's so great to hear! :D
I just have in my heart love for your help and wisdom. God Bless You.
Wow. So many wise words. I recently retired, after working with kids for over forty years. Not as a school teacher, but in childcare for school children. I made lots of mistakes, but I learned and grew and got better, I think, as time went on.
So much of what you say here is so spot on. Kids are changing every day, or even every hour, and they deserve the respect and love that comes from expecting and accepting them as they are, at any given moment, or whatever mood they're in, or whether you understand just why they are acting as they are. This isn't just because it is the fair and right thing to do -- though of course it is -- but because it's what works best for everyone in the long run. It builds trust. It builds understanding. It makes it much easier to 'reach' a child when they experience trauma or confusion, and helps in the sharing of joy and curiosity and growth. Neurodivergent children navigate the world differently, and need to be accepted for who they are. This is not easy for those of us who are neurotypical, since we cannot get inside the way their brains work. But if we can just accept that, and listen to folks like you, we can all do better.
You are very wise. Thanks for sharing your loving, sensible thoughts with us.
Thank you so o much for your kind comment and wise words! I think making mistakes are part of it! But when our mistakes change how we act, it shows we are humble enough to learn ❤️
My child has improved full and acting up right with his social skill and improved from his speech delay since taking dr Oyalo herbal remedy. He has no major signs of autism like he was since I got the herbs
I live in Canada, I am autistic and I'm pretty sure my children are too. People don't understand how I parent my kids and I get criticized all the time by family and whoever knows my children. I really want the best for them, I want no one to disrespect or yell at them. I have been severely traumatised by school and early adulthood because I was diagnosed at 30. I don't ever want my children to go through that. I am considering homeschooling or Montessori but it'll depend if they have adhd or not (I do). Thank you so much for the vidéo, there is not enough education on autism at all.
I do really appreciate your video, it will help me a lot in dealings with my authistic relatives.
My son was diagnosed today, I thank you for this video as I now know I have some adjustments to make. Thanks again
Thank you!
Wow, thank you so much for making this video. ❤️ You've shed light on some things that I've not been sure of when navigating difficult behaviors with my 4 year old. It really helps to hear this advice from the perspective of someone who is autistic (and now grown). I am so sorry for the trauma you mentioned early in your video, I hope that you'll be able to find forgiveness and peace with them and I really really hope the one's that gave you these memories loved you but didn't know what long lasting effects they were having on you. ❤❤❤ Oh, and I know this is a weird question, but would you have any tips or advice for a parent trying to potty train a child that may be autistic? My son just does not want to pottytrain, seems afraid of the toilet, and has no interest in using it. He is about a year behind in most developmental areas so he can talk and understands. I am just at a loss for what to do to figure him out. 💕
Thank you so much for your comment, I can't even describe how much it warms my heart. ❤❤❤ The late reply is because I really wanted to think about it.
For me, actually, going to the bathroom was quite a challenge as a child. I got so bored, and I couldn't stay there. Since I loved reading my dad gave me books and that was basically the only way I could use the bathroom.
Is he using the potty or just diapers?
I think sometimes the problem is that the world is not adapted for kids, and especially not neurodiverse kids.
Toilets can seem scary and are quite uncomfortable, and since ND kids/people are often more in touch with their bodies, squatting toilets (for adults) and potties (for kids) make more sense.
I would suggest bringing his favorite activities to the toilet, no matter how weird it may seem :) If the problem is the toilet, I would get a stool so he could get up to it himself, and potentially a children's seat that attaches to the seat so that he can't fall in, because tbh toilet seats are quite uncomfortable for kids! :)
I would also look into elimination communication. Your child is a bit too old for just that, but it's an amazing community with great tips about how to handle that area of childcare
@@SagaJohanna Wow, thank YOU for such a heartfelt response. ❤️ I've brought my phone in to play his favorite song on RUclips on repeat (with me next to him) this did make him fine being in the bathroom but he didn't do anything in the toilet and then another time I brought one of his favorite books in for him to look at but he still didn't do anything else. I think we sat for about an hour and a half each time. It is proving difficult for sure, but I have to hold onto hope that we will get there eventually. I have a 7 year old daughter and an 8 month old baby boy too, so it definitely isn't easy being consistent with my 4 year old but I'm not giving up. I'll try a more comfortable seat next and look into the community you mentioned, thank you SO much!!!! 😊 💗
Unconditional love is the key
Yes!
You brought so many tears. Thank you! ❤
Thank you ❤ Today the healing begins 🙂
Thank you so much Johanna.
I hope you live well! 🌷🌷🌷
Thank you! I hope you live well too! 💜
I know this video been over 9 months, but I want to thank you so much for better understanding I wish I have you in my corner every day, I will be watching all your other videos, my 6 years old daughter was diagnose with autism, dad is always holding her down when she is mad, I been telling him it not the right way to do it, we have to do better I love my daughter very much. She can’t speak yet but she’s very actives.. thanks again ❤️💝
Thank you so much! She sounds lovely, and often as mother's our natural intuition is the one we should trust and go for!
Wow I'm just learning about my great niece who has autism and live far away. But I want to know about autism and understand about my niece. This video has helped me understand a lot of what I didn't know. So when I am around her I know what to do and what to expect. Thank you so much looking forward to your other videos.
I also always found school the most horrible part of my life even though I'm 54 now and had some really bad experiences afterwards, but none of them took 12 years without much interruption or hope that it will be over anytime soon.
I feel exactly the same!
I thank you for your bravery and your educating words.I love your passion.I have worked for many years with adults and children with additional needs.I believe you are right mankind does not always view the world through the eyes of an autistic child.I am the grandparent of an autistic 8yr old,who I love and worry for.However I would like to say how difficult it is to be a 24/7 parent or guardian of a child who needs extra support.If you hve never been this person it is easy to be judgemental.Making the decision to be this person was not an option and living with this condition that affects your child you love so much maybe a huge difficulty for many.Everyone has there own personality and abilities to cope and often limited resources.Some have more ability than others.There needs to be more support for autistic children but there also needs to be more support for families and parents who are trying their upmost best in less than perfect settings.I have the deepest love and respect for you all.Do not feel upset with yourselves if sometimes this road feels hard and you hve difficult days.Ask for help if you can access it.I hope the world becomes a more loving and excepting place for all parents, carers and children that are going through their own challenges.I hope more support will to come to you allxx
Yes, i agree. That's why I think all children need two parents, and lots of support from community ❤️
This is a great video which will help everyone deal with autistic children in position of understanding. We need to be educated on this subject by such teachers. Thank you for the information
Humanity would benefit if we could follow these points with ALL children (even ALL living beings!) ❤
I agree ❤️❤️❤️🐷
As somebody who is on the spectrum, I really appreciate people like you calling attention to these things.
Hello, I have just discovered your channel and found this video enlightening and kind (!) My grandson, who is 6, is autistic and goes to a special school where he seems to be thriving. Like you, I love children, especially my grandchildren and particularly my wonderful grandson. You have helped me to love him more than I do (and I wouldn’t have believed that was possible). Thank you and I shall be following your channel from now on.
Hi! Thank you so much for your comment - I'm crying!
I had a difficult time raising my son. I see now the way I was taught was wrong. I never saw things from his point of view. Thank you
Right now my daughter are having a very difficult time cuz I don't know how to deal with her and I get very overwhelmed. I found out that I was autistic a year ago around the same time we got her diagnosis.. so now in struggling cuz I don't know how to help my daughter when I don't know what to do with myself. My daughter is 5 years old and I'm 24.
That sounds really difficult. I recommend reading "The Whole Brain Child" by Daniel J. Siegel MD and "The Concious Parent" by Shefali Tsabary. I think these books are so important to help your child thrive.
Since she is only five it should be fairly easy to help her. If she's in school that might bring extra stress so I would remove all triggers from the house and focus on making you and her feel the best. Removing too much stimulus, removing phone and technology, and switch to reading books together or drawing. I think this would help a lot.
And for you to be able to parent I think it is really important you take care of your self.
My kid is usually having a hard time after school. It is simply too noisy for him. Could it be something like this, sensory stress in her environment?
@@dianathomas2674 I definitely think it's sensory related.
@@ripleyshipman8368 could this be addressed with noice canceling headphones, shades? Looking back, I should have had noise canceling headphones, too. It would have made those early years easier. Kindergarten btw. can be a downright hellish experience for kids on the autism spectrum, when it comes to sensory stress and social interaction between kids, who can be downright evil.
My son is 4 and for him it's very important to keep the routines in the morning and in the evening. What helps our relationship very much is that I am very interested in his special interests. So I try to found out more about it with him in books, videos, etc. If he has a meltdown, I let him and offer a hug even if he was mean to me. I talk about my emotions, like "that you did ... made me very angry, because ..." "I am tired right now because I had a hard day at work", etc
Such a great video. As a mom of an autistic 5 year old little girl I can absolutely relate. I always encourage her and make her feel like everything she does is simply amazing. I shower her with hugs and kisses and during her meltdowns I just hug her and hold her tight and it really works at calming her down. I do believe that as her primary caregiver I always have to work hard at keeping this bond and trust that we have with each other. I spent 4 years on gaining her trust and I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize this wonderful connection we have now. She has made such a huge progress in her verbal and non verbal skills, she has changed so much especially after I started understanding more and more how to approach her and her needs. She is such an independent and smart child. I adore her and would forever be her number one fan and her biggest support system until my last breath.
Oh wow, you’re making me emotional ❤️❤️❤️ that’s really the shift I think we need to care for autistic children. If we shift perspective and treat them with abundant love they will grow and develop very healthy mechanisms to live in this world !
@@SagaJohanna yes my dear. I hope everyone can accept children and people with autism and see how wonderful and amazing they can be. I still remember the first hug and the first real kiss she gave me. Trust me WE non autistic people have so much to learn from those who do have autism. Thank you for speaking your words with so much emotion and transparency. You are a wonderful young lady❤️
You are so sweet.Also,very bright. We must work on meeting each child where they are at Regardless of disability one has. I hope many People who works with Children listen to what you have to say.
My teen son has autism, he has improved so much but ocd is a problem now. ❤
You are a beautiful soul...💝 ! Jerimah 29: 11 ( new world translation of the holy Bible ) I'm Autistic ,but only found out when I was 61, I am 67... I've had experienced so much trauma.... I've had to learn who I am all over..... But at least now I'm able to heal.... You so easy to listen to.... You understand .... Beautiful advice ....💖💖💖
God bless you
Both my parents were autistic. So was I. I hated my father literally from birth. He was INTENSELY jealous of me in turn and hated me just as much. So instead of having the fun of a single parent home, I had one functioning parent and one that actively despised me. He retired from the army and retired pretty much from life. He was outside doing farm stuff all day every day. When he came back in, we were going to scream at each other for a while and then I would go to my room for hours. Mom had to actually do the work, career wise, so she was ALSO gone all day every day. So it's less single parent... and now "I see my parents 4 hours a day and one I wish I could see 0." Dad's melt downs translated into louder, more creative yelling and the occasional violent assault of walls. The criticism for being an utter failure of a mammal IS my internal voice now. All I hear is screaming and I shudder in horror for no reason sometimes. I always expect an imaginary blow that never comes.
To top it all off, they thought I was gifted because I'm TECHNICALLY a genius, but I can't USE any of it. I'd fail over and over. I was put in REMEDIAL math. I have an IQ you can boil water with and I was next to people who set things on fire and can't stop twitching. The "gifted" program was just more work and stress when I didn't even want to suffer with REGULAR class work. I dropped out of that as fast as humanly possible. All my Mom ever wanted was good grades, but I couldn't ever GIVE Them to her. By highschool I was in deep, permanent depression that remains to this day and I'm mostly just waiting for my parents to die now so I can join them around 6 months later when all the savings run out.
This experience is familiar. Hang in there. Compassion helps.
That sounds awful
It will get better. You just need to move at your pace, not what people expect of you. You may find something that brings you joy. ❤ I hope you find the path that is right for you.
@@SagaJohanna
You hit the nail on the head, Johanna.
The autistic community to which Orion Kelly (fantastic guy) refers is so fresh that we (especially NTs) are still scratching around on the surface with so much talent being wasted and even abused.
Genetic links appear to be so strong that when one family member (often the young child) becomes diagnosed, whole families including distant ones (cousins) reveal ASD traits and then their friends (and families) with whom they've successfully assimilated.
Like a rolling snowball (increasingly more & more being diagnosed with ASD) against which the NTs. especially those in authority with hands on the public purse (top down forced financial austerity). are hitting back to the detriment of the talented autistic community.
Becoming diagnosed with ASD late in life, it helps identify why my siblings and I had such challenging (often unhappy) upbringings with continual life experiences as did our parents and their ancestors have had in their own way totally unaware of ASD as a condition. This results in our (my) desire to support our offspring who are mostly identified as having ASD with having a better more suited life experience whilst building on their talents for the betterment of society.
Hope this all makes sense Johanna. Coincidentally this is my late maternal gt. grandmother's name - murdered in 1945 in the War aged 37 whereby I feel ASD contributed; another story.
Just a few thoughts based on recent observations & experiences impacting on my family members often regarded by NTs as dysfunctional with break-ups / multiple divorces prevalent. 🤔
I'm quite willing to discuss this further with greetings from Yorkshire.
Thank you for this video . I agree with you. I'm still learning my 4 yr old daughter is severely autistic. I believe taking her cues. Sometimes I don't know what triggers her melt downs she's non verbal but can say colors and Letters Sometimes says random things but it's not consistent. I was thinking of putting her in cyber school at home.