Is Asperger's syndrome the next stage of human evolution?: Tony Attwood | Australian Story
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- Опубликовано: 24 сен 2017
- Professor Tony Attwood believes the "out of the box" thought processes of people on the autism spectrum will solve the world's big problems.
He is credited with being the first clinical psychologist to present Asperger's syndrome not as something to be "fixed " but as a gift, evidenced in many of the great inventors and artists throughout history.
But while Professor Attwood has reached the top of his field, he reveals in this episode of Australian Story the personal cost of a missed diagnosis in his own family. Early in his career, he didn't see the signs of Asperger's in his son Will. The consequences were devastating for everyone.
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I was diagnosed with Asperger and ADHD when I was 50, my son is also diagnosed. My sons talents lies in chess and mathematics, I myself play jazz and do fencing
While 80% of us are still worthless garbage.
I'm high functioning autistic I was told I would never amount to anything I have a government job I have a beautiful wife and a family I have a son and another on the way I was told I'd never be able to have a job I'll never be able to have a family I was told no one would ever love me but I have my love from my family my wife and my beautiful son and that's all that matters to me
That's good to hear, never listen to the nay sayers.
@Supreme Snek don't be jealous my life isn't perfect
@Jane lane I tried and tried I didn't take no for an answer I chose not to care what other people thought about me because at the end of the day I'm the one I come home to I'm the only that sleeps and wakes up right where I am you have to learn to first love yourself before others can love you
@@divinebeing2476 Maybe true.
Man, this is bringing back memories. I recall my dad often saying to me "You live in your own fantasy world Steve and you need to join everyone else in the real world". My fantasy world was so much more fun than boring adult life that I'm stuck in now. I think I need to invest in a mud pit and play in it again. That was so much fun.
Stephen F,
I don't like the narrative a majority of parents with Autistic children give, rather than Autistic people having to as your parents said come out into the real world, why shouldn't they have to meet their children in the middle and let the Autistic Community have its say.
What I read and see parents doing is not what's best or safest for their children, but do whatever they need to do to have the relationship they expected not making the child's wellbeing a higher priority.
@Yaaten
You're being prejudice here, just because you and who you've seen avoid people doesn't mean we all do. I only avoid people who break rules and be nasty, I love being around kind, accepting people as well as hearing a doctor on a separate documentary claim half the kids he sees want to be around other people while the other half are introverted.
There's multiple online Autism communities where people can ask and answer questions, can share experiences, can share how they feel and what they're going/being through etc.
This is another location of where I found Autistic people to listen to that lead to my theory, there's Autistic individuals on there telling one another to remain authentic, along with "autôs" is Greek for "self" + "ism" = Selfism.
The origin of the word Autism supports my theory.
@Yaaten
Categorising people is prejudging.
You categorised all Autistic people as introverted.
There's clubs that Autistic people meet up at and organisations that make times for Autistic people to go on a trip.
@Yaaten
I know the difference between them and your choice to claim all Autistic people are introverted is pre-judging, judging people before you even know them by categorising them.
I thought I was so useless than I got married..and my wife confirmed that to me. I was professionally diagnosed with aspergers...that gave my wife even more reason to leave me. Im alone now and happy.
I always wondered why I couldn’t keep friend, I knew something was wrong with me and I didn’t realize until I was 24 years old. I’ve never heard of Autism until one day I was playing video games with some friends, and one of them mentioned autism, so I looked it up and was stunned by the symptoms. It described everything that I had. I’m 27 and I now know and understand myself better than I ever did. I just wish I knew about this condition a lot sooner.
I get you at a 100% with the friendship part. I was diagnosed at 16 with Aspergers Syndrome. Unfortunately my psychologist decided not to tell me until I turned 22. He said because he wanted me to be an adult and understand it better. Big mistake on his part. But I feel you. It was horrible not to understand myself for so many years. But now I feel relieved and I like having Aspergers to a point. Makes me who I am and like Tony states, it is a different way of thinking and seeing the world. I prefer this than be like the rest of the world and follow the crowd.
@@tomasgomez9925 you don't have Aspergers, it no longer exists. You have autism spectrum disorder. Aspergers is an outdated term and for good reason.
We all wish we had known about our autistic condition a lot sooner. - So, much suffering for nothing.
@martinkaczynski8526 Yeah, maybe I would not have had at least 2 Burnouts..
I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome at age 16. At first, I wasn't social. I isolated a lot.
I'm 23 soon to be 24 now. I am a social butterfly, I have a beautiful soul and I'm very funny, intelligent and outgoing.
No offense, but I feel that a lot of the stigma that correlates with autism is still continuing to this day.
I feel like I'm one in a million.
Never think of Asperger's syndrome as a "curse".
Think of it as a "blessing".
There is hope.
I'm improving so much.
My eye contact is starting to improve.
I'm still working on expressing emotions.
I've come a long way.
And for those who have ASD....
You can too.
Don't give up.
Stay hopeful.
Everything will be okay.
From one Aspie to another.
Much love,
-Emily
Well done Emily that's fantastic to hear! I'm an undiagnosed aspie myself, with a fantastic 8yr old son who happens to also be on the autistic spectrum. Love your positivity x
And it's clear to me that your even more special than just 1 in a million, much love Richard x
@@davidowen3621 Thank you Richard! Much love to you and your son x
@@NoName-ze4qn It varies from person to person. Some might have more difficulties than others. But... Everyone has their own opinions on this. I respect your opinion.
xxCheetahKinzxx I am autistic but very very stupid so my asperger is a curse
I'm 30 and was diagnosed with Asperger's at 12. My NT dad and I both watched this episode separately on the night it first aired, and that weekend when I visited my parents he immediately sat me down for a chat. He told me about how he often struggled to understand me and connect with me as a child, despite our being related, and that this episode was deeply educational and encouraging for him. For the record he has always LOVED me, and equally with my siblings, but he'd never been able to express any of that. Finally he paid me the greatest compliment of my life: "Thank you for being my son." So, for that, thank YOU, Australian Story.
is your Dad an Engineer or in a highly technical job? Has he ever been tested? Are you thinking of having children? How many?
He's an accountant, although my uncle (his brother) is a mining engineer. When my parents were having me tested for it, I'm told the subject needed to exhibit at least 12 of 15 characteristics; I had 13 and Dad had 10. I'd like to have one child of my own.
@Custom Made That's possible, but my parents and I are convinced my maternal grandfather had Asperger's but never knew about it because the diagnosis didn't exist in his time and yet, both of his children turned out neurotypical.
@Aryan Ranger I'm just thanking the makers of this show!
I'm 40 and was diagnosed at 12 as well, before people even knew what it was. It's hard to find anyone else who was diagnosed early in their lives who is older, who experienced it without knowing what it was as a child. I actually have met Tony Attwood because of this. I had a very isolating childhood, but now so many people are being diagnosed, I feel like it's even less understood now than it was then, because so many people are diagnosing themselves or diagnosing others with it.
This video made me feel so good, and so sad. I'm recently diagnosed with asberger, and I feel confused and alone. I'm so grateful for the diagnosis and the awareness of it, it helped me finding peace with my self, but I don't have anyone in my life to talk to about my thoughts and questions, and noone who cares. I feel so beautiful and special, I always suspected I was. It's just so sad that people judge me for not loving"the right way" when I feel my heart bursting with love for all human kind ❤️ ASD is a gift from God ❤️
Aspergers* not asberger, or asbooger
PERG
BURG
I like to think of " Purge "
@@sociallysober8217 Thank you so much for that loving message. It hit straight to my heart 🌹 It means a lot to know there are loving, caring people like you out there 🌹 Life is smiling at us, and clarity is getting stronger every day 🥰
@@ichangedmyname0001 I'm Norwegian, i don't write perfect English. And in Norway it's asberger. But thanks, I guess.
@@ichangedmyname0001 this person literally talked about being judged and you felt the kind and correct response was to correct them? Seriously? 🤦🏼♀️
I’d rather be normal. The anxiety, the hypersensitivity of your senses, the social anxiety, it all sucks and makes this neurotypical world impossible to navigate which is why our suicide rates are so high
it is what it is brother it probably made you stronger as you pass though the fire
Plenty of neurotypical people exhibit some or all of these symptoms but are not "on the spectrum."
I understand what you are saying. A friend who has Aspergers explained to me how they felt. So we set some ground rules about touch, sound, light and smell. It makes things easier for them to navigate. More people are learning about ASD, more than ever, as there is a rapidly growing number of neurotypical children being born every day. If you let people know you have ASD and tell please don't touch me it makes my skin feel like every nerve end is on fire, they comprehend better. Educate them, people who don't listen need to get their head out of the sand, because they are going to have a lot more kids coming up the ranks in the future. And then they are going to feel social anxiety.
I was dismissed from my job 2 weeks after telling them I have Aspergers…. Hope they watch something like this and realise they lost a great opportunity.
I hope they are struck down by lightning or a stampede of giant hogs. That is one of the more ridiculous things I've heard in a while. As you know, you are better off, you will definitely land on your feet, I hope you land somewhere really awesome. Good luck
Sorry for your struggles but I am sure there was a behavioral issue possibly stemming from your unfortunate condition that actually caused your dismissal. Also, there is no evidence that Aspberger victims have as a population have anything exceptional and or unique to offer society. There are individuals who may have but as a general rule. None.
@@constantvictory3547- One of the dumbest, most ignorant comments I have read in awhile..... You are 'sure' you know the truth about situations and people you know absolutely nothing about, despite your only source of information, someone personally involved, telling you otherwise. That's the dumb.
"Also, …" So, you are done with that, time to move on to making sure no one thinks any good things about themselves. I'll sum up, "You have nothing to offer that we don't all have ourselves. None of you do, science says it's extremely unlikely any of you could even make a positive contribution.....
I'll say this, it's down right scary that a person like you actually exists out there. I would be harsher, but I actually feel sorry for you. You have obviously have been demeaned your whole life. But dragging others down isn't the answer to lifting yourself up. Find help, please.
And AS is NOT unfortunate in itself, what is unfortunate is the massive wall of ignorance you must put up with from scared, insecure, unintelligent, pitiful human beings. The video you just watched was about the work of one of the LEADING experts on the 'condition' of AS and a father to a person who has it....And he seems to not only disagree with you, but warns against people like you affecting families dealing with it. Because as a general rule there has never been a case of such an ignorant person actually helping. None.
@@constantvictory3547 I'm still shaking my head, I seriously can't believe you exist. There is nothing human about your comment. I would not even want you near my children.... or me, for that matter.
Yep a Masters in Psychology makes me very realistic about the Media bullshit. I am sure I would not want to be near you and/or your children. Poor things don’t stand a chance with such an uninformed parent. Now go away .
I've just turned 38 and I have just been diagnosed with Aspergers, my god does it make sense now, thank you, Tony Attwood, for your work in this field, you are a hero.
And what's next?
@@mzaphod64 end of human race, begin of the time-space shifters
@@3QFmusic
Do you have it too?
@@mzaphod64 aye
Did anything change since you got diagnosed? Did it do you any good to find out? Can you do anything about it? What's the purpose of diagnosis for you personally?
I didn't get my diagnosis until I was 52.... think of that.. 50 years of not fitting in, not being one of the crowd, of thinking differently than those around you.
Both of my parents were on the spectrum and had three kids, all on the spectrum as well. We three kids have IQ's in the 99.96% range but are three totally different people. Mum taught us to be brave and to walk to our own beat, you do NOT have to fit in with everyone else, to embrace your uniqueness, your weirdness and if others do not appreciate you for who you are, then it is their problem, not yours.
I ended up in the scientific field, loved my work, always wanting to know why things happen this way, figuring out where things went wrong. I specialised in investigating food safety problems, where had the contamination gotten into our product, how and what do we do to not have that problem again.
I was lucky in that I met a group of other people who also didn't quite fit in with the rest of the world when I was at uni doing my Biology degree. This March we will be celebrating 40 years as a group, we have supported each other through weddings, kids, divorces, deaths of parents and even though we only catch up now a couple of times a year, if I need them they are there for me. As one of our group said, she feels relaxed when we get together because she knows we all "get" each other, we accept each other for what we are, flaws and all. We have different skill sets, different strengths and together we can do anything!
When Covid hit, we had set up a messenger group which we would deposit info we had found out about the situation, best way to make masks, how to make bread, and at times we would sometimes facetime and just chat and laugh about stuff.
I had been dealing with depression and anxiety for years, as had a few of my friends and we could talk openly about it to each other. When I got my diagnosis, a couple of the others put up their hands saying they had thought they could be on the spectrum too and had self diagnosed. We understand that each other need space, some can;t handle touch, others can't handle loud noises, certain fabrics etc and to us, it's just normal.
Both of my kids are on the spectrum and it was with their diagnosis and my research into ASD in girls that lead me to Tony and my own realisation and the request to get a proper diagnosis. Now I don't mask as much or I save it for situations where it is more of a protective task than a day to day one. I don't mask while shopping, seeing the doctor etc, but if I had to go to court, deal with a solicitor/legal issue, then the "Professional" or "Business" mask goes on and the way I talk, hold myself, move, posture, dress etc all change. My tone becomes clipped, clear and precise. I look people in the eye (even though inside I am screaming about it), I stand up straight and walk like an elegant woman (rather than my usual slogging around in Ugg boots or bare feet with my head down), and I have my ducks all in a row. Then after it is over, I let the mask slip and become ME again, less stressed, less anxious, more free.
My fellow aspies out there.... embrace your weirdness. You see the world in a fuller way than the normies do. We see patterns in the mundane. We see more colours and shapes in the dust dancing in the sun. Enjoy it. Reach out and find the others like you, there are more of us then you realise!
Autism is the reason why i know what starvation feels like. Autism is why I cannot hold down a proper job. Autism is why I, a 40 year old, still can't seem to be a full adult. It is why my parents called me 'lazy' and 'problematic', and want nothing to do with me.
it is why, when I was growing up, I had zero friends, was constantly misunderstood/villianized by adults, and even called names by teachers, which then became my reality: teachers called me 'dog', 'animal' 'monster'. School kids took this as permission to treat me as such.
if you consider this disability a 'gift' then you are probably blessed with a support system that cares. (I.E. family, friends, a social safety net) it is this support network that is the true gift. NOT autism.
P.S. if you want to see the true face of autism, unsupported, then go walk down your local tent city, homeless shelter, prison, graveyard. that's where all us unwanted autists end up.
The world is not ready for us because the world is not made for people like us, it has been the same story my whole life too, the best you can do is try to find things that make you happy, and find someone who understands you, be it another person like us with Autism or a normie, my partner is pretty much the only thing keeping me going, I hope you find someone too it isn't ever too late. Try to stay positive which I know is hard for us but you get my sentiment, good luck and be safe
Dude straight facts!!! I grew up with a narcissistic single mother since age 13 was always kicked out or ran away no friends to this day and im 34 dont even want to be here anymore TBH my only hope is with Jesus.
But yeah i guess if my child had a disorder id call it a gift to and be his greatest support system cause thats what TRUELY makes a difference!!
@@StevenMacQuarrie oh calm down, aint no body better than the next.
I feel you! I've been where you're at or have been, it is the support that this shity world Lacks, neurotypicalism is a disease.
@@fixitright9709 'Neurodiverse' are the disease I say that as one myself.
I was in my 30's before I was diagnosed with Aspergers. Now, at 55, although I am surprised I survived, I now love the person I have become and have completed tertiary education to support others with mental health challenges.
I now understand why my birth family wiped me, they didn't know how to deal with me. I've moved on though. I am now surrounded by friends who understand and accept me and acknowledge the life journey of self discovery I have been on.
Professor Atwood is correct, Asperger's people may be the next evolution of human beings. We certainly do think outside of the box - "what box?" :)
I am an actor, website developer, mental health worker and qualified secretary. I find things easy to accomplish, but soon become bored, looking toward new things to learn. I love the man I have become, but still find emotional connections with others difficult. That too will pass, in time.
there are many kinds, and some are tricky to categorize. autism is a government inflicted through vaccines which have been increased to extreme extreme. children are lucky if they can even make it the first few hrs of life, from the bombardment of poison as soon as they are born, and continuously thereafter. ask the amish, how many of their children die, or are maimed for life
I wish you well. I was almost 40
David-Graham Parker Beautifully said, and I can really relate. I swapped studies in university more times than I can count... The boredom really took hold of me in my early 20s... I found anything school-related very easy to accomplish but cannot translate any success into real life. I.e. Jobs. I get let go from anything and everything and it usually ends up turning into a big personality critique at the end. Where I’m basically told my personality is not wanted there. Or that I don’t have one, or seem confused. I just got fired yesterday from working with guess who? A woman with autism and two other people with developmental “disabilities” (got to love the empowering choice of words/focus). They were very offended that I said I didn’t think there was enough focus on learning or emotional healing...
Being HFA myself I know the father will never change his son, his son seems to be doing a good job of teaching his father how it works though.
Some of the traits can be overcome but others are there for life no matter how hard you try.
I'm glad I don't have a lot of the traits so called normal people have, especially the narcissists that run this planet. They are the ones we need to change.
I have been recently diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome (with ADHD) and I felt so understood and not lonely and "strange" anymore thanks to Dr. Attwood. If he will ever come to Switzerland, I would be more than honoured to listen to him (even better to meet him).
Eureka!!! I Found You! I have Asperger's and have said all my life that I Didn't Want To Be Like the Others. I felt I had a Gift for seeing the obvious. Of course... other people felt it was their patriotic duty to "fix" me, by force sometimes. I found my way into Research and Development (R&D) where thinking outside the box made me a legend at seeing solutions, and problems with project concepts.
-- I'm going to send this video to everyone who I (think) cares about me or has an Asperger's person in their life.
What subject of R&D are you in? I'm thinking of returning to school for occupational therapy or psychology, but I love research and read publications fun 😂🙈
i score high on the autism spectrum and yes, i'm sensitive to high-pitched sounds, have a memory that holds anything, even things i don't want and yes, i can be introverted and distracted. on the up side, i have a photographic memory and i'm able to learn anything. i taught myself to program in 10 languages, compose music, paint, design videogames, develop a new VR process, etc.
i always thought it was a superpower i had. reading the comments, most do not feel this way - i'm sorry it's not for you the way it is for me - it's definitely a gift in my life
Being on the spectrum makes one put less of their energy and resources into people and more into their special interest, but how well one does is still determined by ones IQ. May I ask, what's your IQ, if you know it?
Sounds fab to me with Aspies you need IQ, memory and executive function and you have all three lucky you! Me I'm missing the photographic memory and it's a bit of a bummer! He ho just knowing I'm on the spectrum is a relief after 60 years of not fitting in and various mental health diagnosis. It's like the missing piece because I have ttried so hard using my intelligence to keep me safe and fit in........ now it's like ok I am really different. I'm from future world!
Sounds like misdiagnoses to me!
Awesome!
@queenbeethatme100 IQ means nothing to me. IQ score is only according to the person who set the test. Education is information gathering and the capcity to recall on demand. It doesn't necessarily mean one is intelligent. That is how it looks to me.
I have Asperger syndrome I don't consider it a gift. It's more like something I've learn to deal with over the years.
Considering it a difference rather than a disability seemed to me, as someone who isn't asperger, to be a balanced viewed of aspergers, because the specific disabilities have a trade-off relationship with amazing (though not unique) specific abilities. It seemed like we were conceptualising it this way in the late 2000s, but beginning about 2013-ish there came this deluge of people both on and off the spectrum (though mainly on) saying that they considered it a gift, that it granted them superpowers, unique strengths etc. Furthermore these people began to claim that the disabilities weren't a result of their neural harwiring, but as a result of society not meeting their needs (society induced disability). Thats the situation (I would call it inertia) we've been stuck with for approx the last decade in terms of how we conceptualise aspergers.
@@qubitz5906 You have never met the person you are responding to & don't know them from a bar of soap. They might be drepressd & negative - they also might be correct in their self-assessment, even with depression.
What they don't need is complete strangers with literally no information at all, questioning their self-assessment. Let alone "allies" joining in on Gaslighting for Neurodiversity.
@@JohnSmith-ft4gc I don't identify as an "allie". I don't have that tribal mentality. I'd never gaslight anyone. I don't understand why you've responded to my comment in this way. I think what i said, my opinion, is pretty transparent and that I'm only interested in accuracy and truth.
@@qubitz5906 Deny...deny...deny.
@@JohnSmith-ft4gc no I'm serious. Just having this brief venture into the whole neurodiversity movement atmosphere, via these youtube vids has caused me to automatically start thinking of myself as an allistic, and its uncomfortable and unnatural to me. Before I never consider that there was a "my people" out there to find and associated with - my people was all other people. Too a large degree I've never cared how similar or different someone is to me. One negative of this neurodiversity movement I would say, again its just my opinion, is that its caused so many aspie to be on a crusade to find "my people", and from there to exclusively socialise with other aspies, and so it does seem to have made the whole asperger population more tribal, with a corresponding increased group think/mentality.
Autism isn’t a gift and I’m tired of people saying it is. If anyone wants to argue against, fine, but it sucks that I have one life and I get one where I can’t socialise, or even speak for that matter.
So much love to you my friend
Thank you so much, i agree completely with you, of course all the Asperger will argue with me its a gift. AUTISM IS NOT A GIFT!!!
@@tonylin9639 Yes! It may have its “perks” but calling it a gift kind of diminishes all the things we go through below the surface
In the right hands it could be ...
@@julienfroidevaux1143 What’re you gonna do? Take my autism? 💀
I'm autistic, only recently diagnosed in my late 50s. I also have a very high IQ, and am driven by a combination of curiosity about the world and a desire to create things artistically. I became a lisenced architect as well as a college professor, and I become highly profcient or expert at anything I'm truly engaged with. There's an autistic intensity that drives me, and I'm extremely sensitive to sounds, visual stimuli and tastes and smells. All of the many difficulties I've faced have been because of the disconnect I experience when in social settings. I'm blind to the unwritten, unspoken communication that occurs in such settings, and am always an outsider as a result. This leads to ostracizing by groups, and bullying by social climbers. To make matters worse, my hyper-comepetence triggers fear and resentment in work settings and in any competitive environment. As a result, I live in alone in poverty now.
But you know what? I'm finally happy. I finally know the root of my struggles. It's autism, and in the end, I wouldn't trade it for nuerotypicality. No way. I feel like Rutger Hauer's Ai replicant at the end of Blade Runner:
"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion... I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain..."
That sums up what it's like to be autistic to me. I expereince things in a way most people cannot fathom, with an intensity that often consumes me. When I try to communicate the beauty and terror and hope and despair that comes with it, conventional means fail. So I turn to art and music, and abstraction and metaphor to get my feelings accross. Most of it fails to get through, and is lost in time.
Like tears in the rain.
If I could change anything, it would be that last part, because I believe there's so much my expereinces could offer the world, if only people would take the time to look, listen and at least try to understand.
But it's OK. I am who I am, and it is what it is.
Please write a book, poetry… I don’t know- but even your analogies are absolutely wonderful. Tears in the rain. Lost….
I am so grateful for people like you and myself … and countless others like us. 🙏
this was beautifully written. self-publish, or start a RUclips channel about your experience. You could help others, while helping yourself. I'd watch it just to get hear you say something poetic 😀
@@josieb9402 Thanks - I'll seriously consider it. =)
Yeah the vaccines done a good job didn't they? LOOOL
@@incrediblehulk8031
Did Hogvlog mention anything about vaccines? No they did not. Perhaps you have a mental deficiency of some sort, definitely inappropriate communication skills.
As someone with Asperger's I'd like to say that I would love if I could understand others more on their level. It's not about a lack of empathy, it's an inability to pickup on social cues. The world would be a better place if people can find better methods to teach these children how to pickup on social cues. Many people with Aspergers have a great desire to show others they care, on a level that can be understood.
Do you find yourself thinking, when people you know are sad or hurt or whatever, that you'd like to do this thing or that thing 'because it would make them happy or they would feel so good if you did that for them, but then you're just 'unable' to follow through? You just can't bring yourself to do that perfect thing for them?
I'm 65, undiagnosed but I think now that I have Asperger's after doing a couple online tests on psych. websites. Explains my whole life of isolation and feeling like an outsider in every situation and my question describes my experience socially, all my life. So I'm curious if Asperger's results in that same experience for those who are diagnosed.
@@ddhqj2023 In short, Yes. Although, I can only speak for myself, I feel that when I remind myself that offerings from a pure heart (motives) are better than any gift, I can let go of fear of rejection, knowing I did, or gave, the right thing. This helps to keep from getting bogged down in the details.
i think i just have a flat lack of empathy... I still beat my self up over not feeling bad for someone having a panic attack, though it didn't seem like they were... I think about emotions and such very logically and i hate it... i wish i could just feel like other people do...
@@ddhqj2023 At 36 it's hell for me.
@@williamoarlock8634 So are you diagnosed? Or is having Asperger's something that you've concluded after looking at all your own issues, described issues and a run through some of the online tests? And do you have an issue in particular that you hate dealing with?
For me, anything to do with other people is just too much. Can't stand it and it took me years to give myself permission to quit trying to make friends. Did that for years because I thought 'everyone has to have friends'. Now I realize I'm much more peaceful when I don't 'try to have friends'. It doesn't come naturally at all.
I was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was about 6. At times it has been a struggle, in elementary and middle school I was in special education classes. I would have episodes over seemingly nothing where I was violent and angry, but by the time I got to high school I was living a basically normal life. I was talking college classes and was driving a pickup truck that I bought and built the engine in, and anybody who met me after I turned 14 would never guess I have autism. I am now 20 and I oversee a maintenance shop, working on heavy equipment and semi trucks. My way of thinking never really changed, I still have the same feelings and thoughts I always did, but how I react to everyday situations has evolved.
There is a lot of disordered de jour going on in the autism spectrum. Many many people are misdiagnosed.
@@terrygonzalez5270 That's my point. Autism is being over diagnosed and labeled as some kind of exotic disorder.
@@kansasthunderman1 Th nire commonplace it is, the less "exotic" it is actually
the random outbursts could have been from over-stimulation
What's interesting for me, as someone with both a very high IQ as well as autism, is how -- as I learn the traits of intelligence and the "symptoms" of autism (notice the negative connotations?)... they turn out to be one and the same thing.
For instance -- and I know ADHD isn't autism, but they are so frequently hand-in-hand that they might as well be the same syndrome -- what you call being lazy or distractible? I call being bored with stupid things. What you call being hyperfocused on minutiae? I call extreme precision and detail orientation. What you call sensory overload, I call having a keen appreciation of the senses; you "like music," whereas I... am transported. I wouldn't trade that for the fact that sometimes certain sounds are like fingernails on chalkboards to me.
I know it's not 100%, but more and more, I think "autism"... is just another word for extreme intelligence. The "normies" just don't "get us," man...
Perfectly said 💯
Great comment Tom, very accurate for myself and others
Tony Attwood's work made a huge difference in my family's life! When my son was diagnosed about 25 years ago, nobody knew much about it, and Dr. Attwood's book was indeed our "Bible" for understanding our son. I feel sad that he sacrificed so much of his own life to bring that book to the world, and pray for his beautiful son. My son is doing great now, and has "moved up the spectrum" since he was a child. He is engaged to be married to his longtime love (they've been together happily for 15 years and she has Asperger's too!) and is a professional and our family's rock. I love people with Asperger's--their honesty, way of thinking, and special talents. I'm so grateful to Dr. Attwood.
My son is a highly functioning aspie. We found out when he was age 6, what a gift! I waited to tell my son until I had studied up on this condition. It was very helpful to first be informed. We read a book together named JUST LIKE ME written by and about a child w/ Asperger’s syndrome. My son, after reading this book looked at me and very gleefully said “oh momma am I an aspie like the boy in the book?”I told him “YES! You’ve been given all the gifts and only a couple of things u might struggle with, but we will be ab,e to help you and work these differences out. “ He was so happy and said to me “ Iam different, but it’s ok!” He is now 17 you would have to be a professional to see his aspergers. He is very unique, creative and smart! God knew what child to bless me with. I’m so lucky. If anyone out there is feeling hopeless because of this diagnosis, please acknowledge it and seek good professional help. God has blessed you.
Good for your son, but F this disease. IT sucks, and I hate any monster who dare calls it a gift.
I
Jack Boyd I’m no monster I’m simply a mother who has worked diligently in finding the gifts my son has to offer his life and this world, and he has many. I am no monster I am grateful for my son in every way. You have no right to demonize me. I have done better than I thought I was able for my son, I’ve done the best I can all on my own and against all odds, how dare you. Your comment says so much about you, and I feel sorry for you. As I said, if you need help please seek and find people who can help.
Alison DiLaurentis Oh Allison, I’m horrified to hear you have been so neglected. Im not even sure what to say. On utube there are some videos that might be helpful. I wonder if you are an adult now? If you are and you have insurance could you talk to someone? I wish you could find someone to relate to. If I can help you in ANYWAY please let me know. Unfortunately I’m not a professional. There is a book by Temple Grandin; THE WAY I SEE IT., a book that was most helpful to me in understanding Asperger’s. She, the author actually has Asperger’s and is extremely insightful, gives good advice and has a funny little sense of humor. I’m sorry your parents failed you, they have missed out on giving you the life you deserve. Honey please don’t let their failure be your story. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and find a reality that works for you, be it getting help, surrounding yourself with people who are positive and who care about you. Today is the first day to be good to yourself, you have gifts the world is waiting for♥️. Thank you for being honest, there is no shame in honesty, you deserve good! Please keep contact w/me. Good luck dear
Alison DiLaurentis close your eyes and feel my arms wrapped around you. You are whole, you are good and you are beautiful. Sleep well knowing I absolutely care. God bless you dear.
I have spent most of my life alone, apart from being with a girlfriend. I do not really see a world of solid objects, but more so I see the molecular structure of everything. It's almost as if I watch myself from above. I am very aware of everything; small face muscles, inaudible sounds, and it causes me to be very tuned in to a point that it makes social interaction very uncomfortable. I also have severe OCD and this forces me to own very little. I have zero interest in material items, or alcohol.
I have not met a friend in over 15 years.
Here's the thing, no one would know this about me unless I tell them. I am capable of being "normal" but it's very conscious and requires all of the energy I have. If I were to attend a social event (I don't), I would probably have to be alone and sleep for 3 days to recover.
There's no cure, so it doesn't really matter what I have.
With regards to your OCD, have you tried any medication? I developed OCD 30 years ago and have taken a low dose of fluvoxamine maleate ever since. I believe it has helped me live a near 'normal ' life.
I was diagnosed within a year of developing however with all the information currently available I realise I have always had many autistic traits .
I also keep material belongings to a minimum, this is helpful for anyone with OCD and/or ADHD and I see it as a very positive thing. Having a home full of clutter is incredibly draining.
I am sorry to hear of your struggles to socialise however you should never feel obliged to attend large group events. I much prefer 1 to 1s or small groups. When I was younger I felt deep shame that I couldn't function in a large group/social setting. Now that I am older I realise that everyone is unique and life is so short we should only do what we find comfortable.
Ironically I am now a very independent but happy and well rounded individual with many interests and able to speak to just about anyone.
I would advise following your passion in life, whatever interests you the most will undoubtedly lead to many more opportunities.
I wish you good health and happiness 😊
You are normal. When I was a young person highly intelligent, single minded people were highly respected for their skills - now it's treated like a disability to be pitied or a weird aberration. Truth is most folk with "great social skills" have nothing of much interest to say anyway. :D We all have different skills that benefit one another as we live symbiotically in human society. I think its called living on the human spectrum.
I relate 100%
Autism is not a gift. Only someone without it would think that.
aspergers or high functioning autism is a more functional less impairing form of autism. aspies don't walk around with tism fingers,we talk and some times look people in the eye. we're still impaired just less so. we just need more work than normal people.
@@josh_kibishima first of all aspergers is no longer a term and its colletively just called autism now. second, i dont believe in the term "high functioning" because it just seperates and catergorizess autistic people more based on how we act on the outside, which leads to assumptions that we're fine and dont need help. third, every autistic person is different, it doesnt matter if you stim, dont look at people in the eye, ect. that doesnt make you "low functioning" (god i hate these terms but i have to use it to explain) and there are still very "high functioning" autistics that dont look people in the eye and have "tism fingers" mind you.. (what are these terms man)
as an autistic person who was late diagnosed, my mum calls me "high functioning" and compares me to other autistic people who dont mask - implying my issues arent as serious since i dont usually SHOW my true self because ive been bullied in the past for unmasking since people thought i had no excuse to be acting the way i was. the labeling and categorizing of autistic peoples is very harmful, especially to those like me who mask a lot.
p.s im not trying to be rude or attack you im just saying my opinion
@@draqeula you're good. Fair enough explanation which brings me to my next point. You think If we were sausages we'd be called.... brautistic? 🙃 Lol jk. Sorry you had to mask. It can be a little isolating.
@@draqeula maybe in another life where we were bros we could have been brahtistic 🤙😎
There are exceptions. Long list starting with Elon Musk.
Everyone saying that Aspergers is a curse not a gift but i believe that it’s a gift when your surrounded in your best environment but feels like a curse when the your in your worst environment dominated by neurotypicals
Amelia Wiseman,
I agree Autism is a gift, I don't view it as a curse because nearly all the suffering Autistic people experience has nothing to do with Autism, but everything the society, parents' expectations and as you said the environment.
I see a curse in neurotypicals, for whatever reason they're scared to display their goodness just because it's not so called "normal", the majority are so scared of being different to one another.
I see Autistic people have some kind of gift that gives them the courage to stand alone instead of pretend to be a bad behaving person.
@Yaaten
I have the condition and that's why I know so much, I've been studying it for over 20 years and a theory of mine has been proven scientifically true. Autistic people don't have social deficits as the public assumes.
Nonautistic people can't read Autistic people while Autistic people don't struggle to read other Autistic people, how are Autistic deficits a gift for nonautistic people?
It's the same with nonautistic people, they've got difficulties and since socializing, relationships and conversations is a two way street, they've got even bigger socializing problems.
I had to turn Autism into a gift, it doesn't start off as a gift and it takes work.
The problem is the Society's unacceptance, fear, intolerance and ignorance of differences.
@Yaaten If you were in a room full of neurotypicals you would be the one with poor social skills. Also I think neurotypicals should be cured instead. You wouldn't have the technology today if it wasn't for autistic people.
@Yaaten Oh then my bad for being mean to you. But if there were more people like is in the world neurotypicals would be seen as the ones with poor social skills. Autistic people are a lot nicer usually and super rarely gossip or spread rumors. Never experienced an autistic person that did either. Neurotypicals I feel are very rarely straight forward. That's why an autistic world would be better, and if autistic people were in charge places would most likely have darker lighting, or less music in public. The school system also wouldn't be such a drag either. The 0 tolerance policy most likely wouldn't exist and schools would help people with their passions instead of a bunch of irrelevant stuff. Neurotypicals brought negativity into this world. Autistic people are more understanding. That's why autistic people should be in charge instead.
@Yaaten Yes that is why I believe autistic people should rule. Maybe some aren't capable but there are a lot of autistic people I met who can control themselves very well.
I only just discovered i have Aspergers at 50 years old. Everything about me and my life makes perfect sense to me, jurt in the last 3 weeks, ive learned and understood so much about myself. How could it be that i was undiagnosed for so long ?
Easy mate. I'm 37 and just got diagnosed. Read up on "masking".
You would of been around too many delusional people
I’m aspie, (severe Asperger), but I’ve always been very carin n ‘motherly/fatherly’ n people has always come to me with their issues n I’ve never had any problems with gettin in touch with people. I’m not mean or cruel, I’m not a typical liar, n people very often confide in me. I’ve discovered ability to communicate mind to mind even over massive distances like from this part of the world (Sweden) to the other (USA). My intuition is over the top n I’ve also often predicted things that happen before they actually do.
I do indeed see my ‘disorder’ as a both gift n privilege bc maybe I wouldn’t had been that carin person if I didn’t had this ‘disorder’.
Dont ever let anyone tell you who you are...your only limited by your choices and your own inner boundaries... If you believe you can do it you can ..or at least aspire to do the best you can at whatever you want to do...people who dont seem to have problems telating are ignorant to those who have to work extra hard to do even the smallest thing ..dont sweat it kid..
We don't have a disorder - we *are* a disorder.
Interesting comments. I do think Asperger's is a gift now, aged 35 (and female, therefore better able to socially mask than many male counterparts), having found a life path that lets me use my special interests and talents...but when I was still trying to do a 9-5 office job as a personal assistant, with the flourescent lights, the constant people around, the constant demands of my boss that I found irrational, the conflict of 'Your job is to remind me of important emails', but 'Yeah, I don't feel like answering that email, forget it for now', the unpaid overtime that felt like lies (autistic rigidity says home is 5.30pm. You keep me there til nearly 6 with no prior warning & I will be literally shaking with rage, followed by driving home like I'm in GTA, followed by a lot of drug abuse just to calm those emotions - I really related to his son...) - Asperger's when you're undiagnosed and forced into the NT world, told you're just lazy and selfish and 'not trying hard enough' is a hell that drives many of us to self destruction, but Asperger's in a lifestyle that lets those traits excel can definitely be a gift. Even if other people will always, always think you're a bit freakin' weird (O___O)
You just described it so well 💙
The "You're lazy and selfish and not trying enough" part is incredibly true
I was diagnosed at 10, I'm now 35. 25 years of lonely hell.
I have Asperger's and it sometimes frustrates me, but to be honest I'm ultimately happy with who I am. Like there are plenty of gifts I have that my peers don't, and I think my life is going pretty swimmingly as an Aspie.
@@raphaelchilungu7057 Good for you, while it's shit for the rest of us.
No one diagnosed in middle age after having missed out on many milestones in life would ever consider Aspergers a gift.
I missed out on many milestones and I consider it a gift.
All the milestones are because of the racist eugenics movement, they are not legitimate natural science.
How does the following study sound?
The phenomenon of change blindness illustrates that a limited number of items within the visual scene are attended to at any one time. It has been suggested that individuals with autism focus attention on less contextually relevant aspects of the visual scene, show superior perceptual discrimination and notice details which are often ignored by typical observers. In this study we investigated change blindness in autism by asking participants to detect continuity errors deliberately introduced into a short film. Whether the continuity errors involved central/marginal or social/non-social aspects of the visual scene was varied. Thirty adolescent participants, 15 with autistic spectrum disorder (ASD) and 15 typically developing (TD) controls participated. The participants with ASD detected significantly more errors than the TD participants. Both groups identified more errors involving central rather than marginal aspects of the scene, although this effect was larger in the TD participants. There was no difference in the number of social or non-social errors detected by either group of participants. In line with previous data suggesting an abnormally broad attentional spotlight and enhanced perceptual function in individuals with ASD, the results of this study suggest enhanced awareness of the visual scene in ASD. The results of this study could reflect superior top-down control of visual search in autism, enhanced perceptual function, or inefficient filtering of visual information in ASD.
I have Asperger’s and while it is helpful sometimes in the sense that I’m able to shut out negativity and focus on what makes me happy, dealing with everything else is not something that I’d want the rest of the world to have to put up with. I love Tony Attwood and his work, but this title seems like nothing more than clickbait. There are definitely some aspects of it that I’m very grateful for, and I believe everyone would benefit from having a different world view and being more compassionate, but full blown Asperger’s for EVERYONE wouldn’t be an evolution.
The title is a meant to catch interest and explore the question. It's supposed to catch your attention and to make you think about it, and if the video explores the question, then it's not clickbait. It's just food for thought.
Right? I feel like this video completely ignored sensory overload and the exhaustion that comes from it. What's the use of thinking outside the box/being intelligent when you feel so easily overwhelmed by sensory issues and simple interactions and you have so little energy to do things because of that. Not to mention fine motor skills - my hands hurt everytime I write because I apply so much pressure on the pen to manage and I can't chopp vegetables cause I always end up hurting myself, just to mention few examples. I like Tony's work as well but thinking of it as evolution is totally wrong in my opinion.
It's worth pointing out that he said "in a way". The point being is we want to have as a human species all the benefits with none of the negatives. Is that even possible? Who knows.
My 10 year old daughter is an Aspie and she’s amazing. I like her exactly the way she is.
So is my 23 y/o daughter, and I feel as you do.
I was just diagnosed this year and I am 51. I don’t think that I would’ve had that opportunity had or not also been suffering from genetic blindness and had access to the resources through the blind commission. Was part of an evaluation for adaptive employment skills. Turns out the autism is more hindering my visual impairment. I always knew something was different about me, and both my children are on the spectrum. I am relieved and feel happy to know more about myself and my place in this world. But I am sad from years and years of being misunderstood and misdiagnosed.
Glad you found out , even though a little late , but better than never 😉
I was diagnosed at age 45. If I’d known earlier or had any kind of support in place, I might not have struggled with life so much. It’s good to see younger girls being given the support I missed out on because back then girls were very under diagnosed.
they still are
I was diagnosed at 16, but was never told until 22. I'm glad they found out I had aspergers. Definitely took a whole direction in my life and made me understand who I am. I'm sorry it took for so long for you to find out, it definitely feels horrible not to understand yourself and not know why.
so what would have been different if someone had told you before? it's not that you can cure it anyway.
i cant speak for other aspies but i, as an aspie myself, have very deep emotions. however, i dont show it. its like a wall that i cant break down. what is inside stays inside. people seem to think im always happy because im smiling. my smile is a coping skill to deal with the extreme anxiety.
In other words, someone who values his privacy
Same. Though the thing that sucks is when I am around someone I really want to communicate with but can’t I am usually just left in tears.
It's stopped me having normal relationship's throughout my 59 yrs.
I can feel people's emotions,pain,anguish it can be overwhelming and exhausting.feelings are magnified and feelings of Love is well and truly overboard,but I learnt to suppress it....
Same here to I'm a empath and feel everything around me aswell.
I have Asperger's syndrome. I am highly intelligent (Mensa member) and I achieved a lot in my professional career. I honestly thought about my syndrome as a gift without even knowing Mr Attwood and his opinion on that. I see more than others. I am more intelligent than others. I am more skilled in what I do on a daily basis than others. Who would we be as a human race without Aspies? They are like gems moving the humanity forward.
Elon, Tesla and Einstien for example.
@@marshaboody9069 Exactly, you are very right.
I'm 35 and just found out I have asperger's. I was watching one of Mr Attwood's other videos and everything clicked all at once. All this time, I thought I was a psychopath of some sorts. What I need now is help getting it professionally diagnosed. I've been thinking about this for weeks and my main concern is the impact it may have on my job if my employer found out. (I work night shift, so I never really see anyone) I don't know who to contact to start this process or if it'll cost money, of which I have little.
@@Quantum-Chaos well, it should actually be beneficial for your employer as he may pay less taxes if he employs a disabled person - depending on the country you live in. You can also have some social benefits. I would research that firstly and then I would decide if these are beneficial for me enough to undergo a professional diagnosis. I am not sure if you have the same vision on that.
I am an Aspie and my daughter has been recently diagnosed as Aspie as well. My daughter is very special as she is a girl with that syndrome.
I wish Tony hadn't used that last statement at the end of the video saying Aspergers could be "the next stage of human evolution." ABC have used it in the title, and in response, alot of people, on and off the spectrum, will roll their eyes seeing this video without even looking. There's alot of great information here, and Tony is a very insightful for people on the spectrum (he diagnosed me 23 years ago). But no one on or off the spectrum wants to hear someone claims it's "the next stage of human evolution" because that sounds ridiculous. Being on the spectrum has it's challenges, and doesn't have to define you. And it can have many positives. But it sucks they couldn't have said that instead. Still a great video though.
It made me click. Not sure if I would have done that otherwise tbh
I agree with you. I am both Autistic and Alexithymic and my life would have been less painful without either, so "the next stage of human evolution" does not thrill me.
Well done for Tony's input over the years, but no I don't agree with his assessment. The inability of not being able to communicate effectively with other humans *IS NOT* an improvement.
I've said all along that autism is selected by Evolution. You can Google average iq in autism btw, it's above average. All the famous physicists have it. It appears to be genetic. The other parts of normal humans that make us intelligent also brings other problems e.g. any other mental diagnosis that animals don't have. Evolving the brain, e.g. adding more capacity here or there will naturally not be smooth which is why autism has it's problems too
many gifts can be missed in these people. thanks for shining light on how being "different" can be a gift and not just a problem
Shove your 'gifts'.
To parents of children with Asperger's let me say this. Our son is also one of them. When he was 5 he needed OT to hold a crayon...by 17 he was first chair cello at Carnegie Hall!!! He toured parts of Europe at 16 with an orchestra and not only did he get accepted into every college he applied for, colleges he didn't apply for were requesting that he enroll in their schools. At the age of 25 with a very successful career he bought his own beautiful home and is doing wonderfully. Focus on their strengths and what you will find will be an amazing person. He is financially, independently and yes even socially doing much better than his "normal" friends with masters degrees still living home with their parents. Embrace the beauty and unique personality of your asperger child or family member.
Whats OT?
@@susannewinslow5717 I think it's occupational therapy..
This is indeed wonderful, but many of his brain damaged peers are still in nappies and can’t dress themselves.
@@wendydaniel6857 what on earth has brain damage got to do with Aspergers/Autism?
So Im autistic most of our friends are autistic or have both autism and adhd all of them are sc neerds Male or Female and of our closest friends around 15 have doctorate degrees, then We have a lot of medical doctors,engineers,computer specialists/ neerds some who have just got a lot of courses but havent gotten the final degree but are brilliant the problem is normally exhaustion from the outside world and not having tutors who actually tell the what exactly they need to do to get that final degree, im one of them id needed a lot more help in order to scale down My scope to a normal degree ( masters and then doctorate) so basically there is a whole autistic world outthere and When you get old enough you can find your nerd category ! Turns out that mine is a perfect combo of sciences to help the planet and Work against social injustices through politics. So im Very proud of what We are doing despite and because of who We are!
Thank you so much for this video. I am 73 and think I am on the spectrum and appreciate so much the compassion and knowledge shared in this video. I do not feel like a total, awful freak after watching this vid, THANK YOU!!!
Hi Mark, I am seventy, your comment encouraged me to have a wander through my life and that little excursion came up with all sorts of things. It has answered quite a few questions. Best wishes.
We could have a perfect society and might have found the cure for cancer if we just gave people with autism and Asperger's syndrome a chance to flourish. Its a gift from god
Agreed!!!!
THANK YOU! Agreed! I have that gift! I just need to find a girl who sees it who wants to partner up and mate with me. My name's Seth. You appear to be a lovely young woman who is just my type, so I'd like to add that it's a pleasure to meet you, Sara. Hope you'll get in touch and we can get acquainted. Be well.
well, its not a gift...i guess you dont get out enough. i have a friend named Sara....she connected a few days ago. Merged with Amadeus temporarily.
Aspergers A condition i live with and have done so for the 57 years of my life but Only Knew what it was for the past 7 years is both awful and at sometimes interesting and Wonderful . But it comes with a lifetime of problems mine depression & anxiety and a muddled mind . Most important is If your not coping with it seek out help and self help often fails . This is something I learnt in a way which nearly cost me my life . Join groups and talk about your problems with others just this simple step will help you . Talking to people is not in my comfort zone but the alternative is beyond thinking about .
Stacey I found for myself talking to others and groups didn't help me at all while I did those things my anxiety and depression got worse the only thing that keeps me stable and not absolutely hating every other Human is isolation and keeping my mind and body busy relationships are a no go for me unless they are brief or at a distance. I constantly have to be reading, learning something, building something, being alone walking through the woods thinking people drive me Insane school was a Nightmare got teased by not only other kids but Teachers when I got Perfect grades and did the work in minutes so I quit getting those good grades by high school knowing all the BS they were teaching and never getting straight answers from Teachers and some other problems with a Vice Principal who was trying to take advantage of me I ended up quitting school didn't find out why I was like this until my Early to Middle 30's we are all different in the ways we have to handle this sometimes different things work for different people because we are all Individuals even these proto-humans making fun of us on here Education really helped them with their micro IQ's and Indoctrination they learned from the Globalist Controlled world wide Education System's they were taught to be Slaves to be controlled they are one giant Herd of Stupidity many over educated.
Glad you got help!
@@williamoarlock8634 sub human animals ? sounds like your talking about yourself
Unfortunately there are some cruel comments here about autistic people, and some who tear Tony down for various reasons. But I have to say that very few people are like him in the sense that he is optimistic about people with Aspergers and doesn't talk about us as though we are a burden or cursed. His work has helped me a lot with my diagnosis and, though I live in another country and have never met him, I feel very grateful to him for his commitment to this field and his positive attitude. Whenever the world gets too much watching videos of him makes me feel better, in some odd way.
Pathetic and contemptible.
Sadly, alcohol is still something I use too often to kill off the anxiety and depression that comes with the traits of having my Asperger's Syndrome. I've been bullied since grade two for having it and my Dad despite being a truck driver, has started researching my conditions at USQ here in Toowoomba. He has made some amazing progress in building me into a "completely outstanding young man" as he has stated. It does get better, but from what I've learned from experience, some aspects will stick. Though I'm more high functioning, depression is still an issue to this day.
I can't speak for Aspergers...but my autism isnt a gift, it makes my life very difficult.
For me also not. Everyone hates me if I don't mask... This is my only option to be accepted by people...
It isn’t you. It’s the stupidity and irrationality on Neuro Inferiors that creates your difficulty.
I can really appreciate Magneto’s point of view in X-Men.
Disabilities are both a gift and a curse. Autistic and other disabled people have higher levels of genetic sensitivity, higher genetic sensitivity provides great advantages if the individual is given a nurturing environment, but if people and the environment crush the sensitivity that's when it becomes a curse triggering all the things like meltdowns and sensory overload.
I still think they're 2 different things. Also factor in the Meyers/Briggs test and don't forget the effect of the people around you. Having a mother or a 'best friend ' who enjoys being mean to others, helps one develop a stoic philosophy, thinking maybe they'll stop it they don't trip your buttons. A wall built for protection. It's a gift and a curse.
@@AgnesC1111
I don't think Asperger's and autism are two different things, they have just associated too many things with autism.
Since autism is permanent I agree the social differences are the autism, but the rest of the criteria is not part of autism. There's a lot of research done on the microbiome, as they clear the gut the symptoms seem to alleviate. That tells me things like sensory issues are caused by gut problems, and since not all autistic people have gut problems it explains why only some autistic people experience the negative parts like difficulty learning to speak.
My overall theory is that autism is a condition of authenticity, there is even studies that show autistic people are more authentic and don't conform so easily.
I've been thinking about this for some time. Perhaps those who we see as disabled are exactly as they should be?
Higher IQ in general, hightened senses, no violence in them... what a terrible condition! :O
It depends how the person with autism reacts to it, some think it is a curse because they struggle to find friends or are bullied, it varies but isn't a dis-ability, just another hurdle in life.
In previous times, Asperger's would have been beneficial. I personally have a crazy sense of smell can smell things before most people realise. Fast reactions, and an ability to think outside the box. In team meetings I would suggest things that the manager would take on board and implement , like they were good ideas when I couldn't help but thinking these people must be stupid to not think about those ideas. Don't mean that last part to sound arrogant but yea.
Yes a sense of smell...I had a garage door opener returned to me....that a guy had for a time ...I can still smell it .
Your not being rude l totally get it lol
Yep
I am 38 and have Aspergers. I can relate. It has given me strengths, but it is sometimes unbearable dealing with isolation. I am confident, have great social skills now, etc... as a result of researching and practicing for many many years now. But dealing with the isolation is still very difficult. Do all those strengths really matter if one can't find happiness??
@@ericrood2308
First ask yourself, how do you discern happiness?
The joy that we feel in our lives has very little to do with the circumstances of our lives, but everything to do with the focus of our lives.
My husband went through most of his life not realizing what "was wrong " with him...particularly in social settings. Consequently he started having Panic attacks. His parents were told he may be Autistic and decided to just bury that knowledge... which we didn't find out until we had figured it out on our own and then the VA tested him and diagnosed him with As letters. He was already 50 years old....I was 42 years old and he was 32 when we married. He is so talented in anything mechanical or projects such as building his own rifle because he couldn't afford to buy one. If anything needs fixing he will figure it out! Where he does poorly is in the socialization aspect....he didn't want to go to parties or have much company but was very polite when put in a social setting and he is well loved by those who know him even though he doesn't know how to "read" others or grasp innuendos, etc. He is not handicapped by As letters, he is gifted! I feel so fortunate to have met and married him as he is my second husband and we have been together 26 years.
Beautiful! Thanks for sharing your story.
Why do other 'aspies' find relationships?! While I remain lonely!?
@@williamoarlock8634 because you don't deserve love
@@williamoarlock8634 you should become more masculine and neurotypical women hate autistic males. My experience, but not impossible
Are you also autistic?
as someone with (suspected autism). the answer is sarcosine (an amino acid). it’s an antidepressant that serves as a cheat code for being able to socialize better, avoid repetitive behavior, and being able to improve on social skills/cues. :)
Ordered.
My mate is very aspbergerish as most engineers are, somehow I knew how much he struggled with some things and couldn't connect with people, our son was born prematurely which he couldn't understand as a stressor and left me. We got back together but I quickly saw that to help one I had to sacrifice the other so left with our son.By kindergarten I had been told he was abnormal several times but I understood what he was trying to process.By 3rd grade the school said he was uneducatable,told him he didn't need to understand algebra or how electricity worked and Goodnight moon was just his speed. I brought him home to school. For a bit he just wanted to stare at the clouds, fly a kite and be read to which seemed weird since he started reading at 4 and read at 5th grade level when not in the system. I told him he was a Mac computer being forced to run a Windows program and he set about finding his own programs.karate, learning Mandarin, keeping dairy goats and hens,having a Lab always at his side,building computers from scratch,teaching himself C++, Java, becoming HAM radio operator, tinkering with a car...Yes, he is still doing stuff on his own pace, being a semi driver turned mechanic listening to physics podcasts..
I have just been diagnosed with high sensory Asperger's syndrome only 2 days ago. I am 27 years old and have found myself struggling with life in many different ways, I have always been looking for a way to 'change' myself and the things i do because i upset and hurt people around all my life. I typically thought that i have just been a 'naughty' child and that one day hopefully a doctor could give me a tablet and en explanation to why i do what i do and that it can be sorted not a problem :) well 2 days ago i found that is NOT the truth and i will always be like this, I am struggling with what i have been told but watching videos like this is kind of helping me accept it and most of all try to understand it. Thank you
Hey... You're not alone man. I'm 38. Diagnosed a week ago. Things can only get better from here. I'm a trained mental health nurse and psychotherapist too. If you wanna talk about it, i wouldn't mind at all. I feel weird about my diagnosis even though i knew I had it come 2016 but it doesn't make it less weird. Talking to people about it helps so if you don't have that, talk to me (not on here ofcourse).
@@plunderclat221 i really appreciate you first of all taking the time out to read what i put previously. It feels like such a lonely place but there are other people out with aspergers. I would really like to talk to you if thats okay of there is someway you could private message me with some details like an e-mail address. Thank you so much !
@@drdank1295 I'd be happy to! Its why i offered :) I'll private message you my email.
Get books on Aspergers and read, read, read. It is possible for Aspies to learn how to mimic normal behavior and notice some cues, but it will always just be an act.
It takes a lot of effort. I talk a lot with my daughter who has Aspie traits. She often hurts those around her but she does not mean to.
she is very blunt. Her dad has serious Aspergers and she is terrified that she could be like him.
It helps for her to talk with me about challenging situations and then I break it down for her in scientific terms and we brainstorm ways for her to id and cope.
As a result, she has navigated college and is on her own. She still has trouble cultivating relationships with guys, but she also knows she has to work harder in reading cues and situations more than many people.
I have read and studied in depth on Aspergers because my husband has it and I wanted to try to save our marriage.
As someone with autism ADHD its a curse for me and has ruined my life.
I read Tony’s book years ago, when I was struggling with how to help my Daughter who was in Jr. High. I saw a correlation in rigidity of thinking when my daughter locked her key in her locker but sat there for over a hr. Waiting for us to pick her up. It never occurred to her to call home. I could relate it to areas of my thinking such as when I would go the long way around if I went past where I was supposed to turn. After reading in Tony’s book, I did what I could to work with ways to see things in new ways. I am thankful for Tony’s work. My daughter was able to go to college after finishing High School being a National Honor Society student. It’s been a long journey. At the time she was diagnosed-they gave her the Pdd-NOS at 6-later atypical autism. Her fixation has been bugs. She wasn’t afraid of any type. At 3 to 4 she would let ants crawl on her arms. Later when she had the language she said she liked the way they felt on her arm. By 4th-5th grade she could tell male from female hornets- bees, etc. she freaked people out holding them trying to hand the bee or hornet to them. I learned from her so much-space here limits sharing. Each story is special-unique. Now the label is autism spectrum. My daughter is middle age now. I focus on her accomplishments rather than what she not able to do like drive. I met Temple Grandin when my daughter was in 5th grade. We went to the first MAAP conference in Indiana-met Susan Moreno. I was inspired by every success story.
🌿💁🐝💞 Just relax, they come for some salt or water on Your skin. 💐🍀
This man was my saviour 20 years ago and the current success of my Aspy self and my four amazing Aspy children is due to his incredible understanding of how to manage all aspects of the situation
While this may well be true, your family's nature has been "altered" or engineered to fit within certain norms, as conceived by the "therapist". The majority of the population do not need this added value. You are no longer "Aspies"!
I always hear "never read the comments". As an Aspie, after reading this incredibly ignorant and disturbing comment section, I have to say I wish I'd have taken the advice this time.
Or you can be courageous and learn to deal with the harsh realities of life? There will always be those to forgive for things they did not know they were doing. One of the consequences of helicopter parenting by older parents of fewer children, is that upcoming adults are now demanding safe spaces wherever they go. They have been robbed of the opportunity to grow up during childhood.
@@maricamaas5555 "Be courageous and learn to deal with the harsh realities of life"? Honey... It's a comment section on RUclips, it's not a "harsh reality of life"... I shouldn't have to explain myself to anyone, but when you live with autism, there are actually a lot of harsh realities you do have to deal with. The anxieties of doing just basic everyday things can be overwhelming, like the way people get annoyed, wigged out, or even apparently nervous when I stim, for example... Leaving the house for groceries, appointments or bill paying, because it makes me extremely anxious and uncomfortable to have to be around people, especially the numbers you see in public places. Having to constantly explain to people that you don't actually dislike them, you just don't show much emotion, and don't often know what to say when people try to make normal conversation with you. It's almost freaking out, but managing to hold it in for the moment, because a family member moves in to hug you without warning (even though you've asked them not to do that), and likes to touch your pregnant belly without permission as well. It's having to deal with the assholes that look at you like you're mentally handicapped upon finding out you're autistic, or even more irritating, look at you like a walking vaccine injury because they lack common sense about how vaccines really work. There are several overwhelming auditory and physical sensations that cause me extreme discomfort or even pain. I have to wear gloves for certain tasks, wear, sit and sleep on certain fabrics, and often wear headphones to deal with overwhelming noise. Those are just some of the issues I face because of autism. I also have PTSD due to childhood sexual and emotional trauma. So, yeah, life has been quite harsh to me, and I'd say I'm doing very well considering... I've overcome a lot, and do everything I can to cope with the issues I have to struggle with daily.
Antivaxxers, dumb ignorant people, misinformed misinformative people... I cant even reply to this many comments disturbing the view of many to aspergers.
@Tony Roberts - I am amazed at the level of ignorance and arrogance you show. Telling others that their day to day struggles in life because of their autism, is just a figment of someone else's imagination. Ofcourse you would know best, don't you? Judging others from the outside and telling them what they experience is not real. Go away.
@Tony Roberts If you don't believe in autism, why are you here commenting on something you clearly know nothing about? You sound like a science denier, and you clearly lack empathy and compassion. Both of which are free by the way. Please go find some before you return to the internet.
I struggled througout my 20's with self medicating Prozac, treating what I thought was severe depression, trying to figure out the world, and why I saw people being not understanding what I thought to be simple tasks.
Until I was finally diagnosed at 29/30 as Aspergers/ASD. Within a few months I weaned myself off Pozac, and started seeing the world through much clearer eyes. My life has never been the same since.
My AS daughter spoke backwards for 8+ years. She understood us and had a HUGE VOCABULARY, but the words came out backwards like looking in a mirror. She never took a note all the way through attending the University. I told her they had people that would take notes for her, but she said,” no, I just read the books and listen to the professors”. Her memory puts most people to shame. She is socially different, but as people the last twenty years are more accepting of the differences, we don’t even think about it any more. USU University did a study on AS and found the reason they hate to write down things(assignments and such) is because that part of the brain does not developed, it’s like learning to write all over every day.
Hmmm interesting , good to know
How can you say the weather in Brisbane is good, that city is a steaming sauna in summer, give me the cool grey skies of Birmingham any day. As for alcohol and drugs, when I drank I had friends, since I stopped three years ago I have gradually lost everyone and my partner of 15 years left me. I think this shows the empathic deficit in neurotypicals which is the irony of Asperger's, we are far more socially aware and we find the cruel and self-directed behaviour of the muggles to be confronting and upsetting.
Painful but true. We make allowances for them but they don't return the favour...............
@@velvetindigonight that's true but not that we ever expect it and that's the whole point isn't it.
I read a lot of the comments and some seem cruel and misinformed. We knew at an early age my son was very different than other kids. As he grew they said ADHD and to medicate him. Bullying at school started, then into self harming, anger issues, and later attempted suicide. He was finally diagnosed with Asperger's , school officials did not want to hear that. It took me a long time to except that this was a real thing and regular parenting was not going to work, (Terry Gonzalez). The Asperger's will always be there , but learning what it is has helped him continue in life. As far as a "Gift"..he is now embracing it to do what interests him the most and did something we never expected..went back to school. He is a 20 year old freshman at Hartwick college studying Geology, Physics, and Astrophysics. He was just accepted for a summer project at Cornell University with leading Astronomy professors. After all the struggles of growing up he is finding his place in life, with people who are a lot like him. SpaceKoala..find what it is that drives you in life and accept yourself. Then have fun with it. Life is to short.
Perfect! He is lucky to have you.
I'm 37 and just realized very recently that I'm clearly on the autistic spectrum. It's liberating and infuriating at the same time, because I can't understand how this wasn't understood sooner. I literally didn't realize I could put my pants on one leg at a time until high school, and I didn't realize I could put my shirt on one sleeve at a time until after high school. I couldn't pay attention for shit in school and I was bullied terribly, but when it came to doing certain math problems (fractions) I was so far ahead of the rest of my class that teachers had to stop calling my name when I raised my hand because it was unfair to everyone else. I would organize my stuffed animals and toys in a very specific, hierarchical arrangement, and if someone moved them just a bit I would cry and cry in deep distress. Most importantly though is just how goddamned socially awkward I was and still am. Had I known that I just had a brain that worked differently (which was proven when I took an IQ test and had a memory retrieval of 73 and a working memory of 133), it would have helped me a whole hell of lot in understanding my predicament.
Oh well. Better late than never.
Bro, I found out at age 45. And I teach Special Education. I don't need to explain the profound irony, not to mention the wild potpourri of emotions that have catapulted through me these past six months since I found out.
I'm almost 45 and just recently came to the realization myself. Even though I have a brother and son (probably 2) on the spectrum and my ex step-son too. I can't understand how nobody realized, including myself. Although my dad told me a year or two ago that there was always something "wrong" or different about me since birth. He didn't mean it in a bad or mean way. Regardless, it shocked me to hear him say it.
Yes !
I was diagnosed at 10, and it's ALWAYS been infuriating *not* liberating.
As someone who has had to work daily for the last 12 years toward reversing the effects of autism in myself, I can say with certainty that there is a huge gift here. It is not the "illness" itself, of course. Because the illness is actually a lack of proper training in using a highly gifted brain and body system. Otherwise, when we learn to use them as they are designed, there is no illness at all. But a complete rewiring of behavior demands a total shedding of socialized identity. This requires exposure to masterful yogic practitioners who can see beyond the illusory social constructs. Given this correct Seeing, autism becomes something else entirely. Now that I can See beyond the twisted socialization I'm able to help others do the same.
AND IT'S NOT AN ILLNESS AT ALL
Do you know Jiddu Krishnamurti? Freedom from the Known changed my life.
@@thirtythreeeyes8624 Yes, he's not one of my teachers but he certainly does similar work. So glad to hear how its benefited you.
@@dreamwalker.foundation I would call him an unteacher haha, he made me realize the self already knows where to go even if everything around them is pointing in another direction including him.
@@thirtythreeeyes8624 Yes, the unlearning is the first step. And then defining the movements of truth comes next, to more deeply empower the self with ever greater power.
The thing that evolves is our understanding.
Tony Attwood is one of the first to recognize asperger's in girls. Bless him.
I am an Aspie and my daughter has been recently diagnosed as Aspie as well. My daughter is very special as she is a girl with that syndrome.
Beautiful video.
My son is high functioning aspergers. He is in his late 20's and I look at him as my biggest gift in life.
You must have enough money to think that.
I don't think it's the next stage of human evolution, it's just one of many natural human trait variations and likely one that was maintained in the population through selection. Groups comprising a variety of different individuals/neurotypes would have survived more - e.g some people who were very social and maintained group cohesion/bonds, some individuals who were very focused on solving specific problems (even at the expense of more complex social skills), and perhaps some people who were more curious and sensitive to stimuli. Having a group consisting of one of these types *alone* would be less advantageous than one containing all. We are a social species so it's good to think of human evolution in terms of group survival rather than individual survival. If it's true that famous scientists like newton had Asperger's, it's undoubtedly true that the presence of such an individual massively increased the survival of the group as a whole.
This how I see it working. The genes for ASD exist in people and when two people have kids the genetics match you get a child ASD, that child then could be either Type 1, 2. 3. Type 1 is minimal support needs, 2 is more and 3 is most. They Type 1 ASD people have kids, the Type 2 and 3 are less likely to. That mean evolution will move towards Type 1 ASD. So the more and more people ASD will occur. In 500-1000 years that could turn everyone being ASD with most advantageous traits minus the disadvantages.
I don't have an official Asperger's syndrome diagnosis. But I know that I'm an Aspie with all of my heart and soul. I've learned to read as a 4 year old and by the age of six I have already been reading books for ten years old pupils. I was always curious about everything and anything that caught my attention. My favourite words were always why and how. I was into space before the age of eight.
I was considered a nerd and a geek by other kids but I thought of them as being kind of stupid and boring so I made sure to talk to grownups only. I was brought up in one small household with my parents, grandparents, uncle and aunt so I ALWAYS had someone to talk with seriously.
I started having SERIOUS problems when I completed elementary school and started attending high school at 14 years of age. Puberty hit me like a ton of bricks and I started developing pathological anxiety and panic when I was around my peers and especially with girls. They were SOOOO beautiful and pretty to me back then and I started viewing them as a some kind of non-touchable goddesses. From that point on I began to feel a deep wound inside my heart that I felt only a beautiful, special and unique goddess girl could heal with her love for me...but I was helpless. Speechless. Paralysed. I started crying every night out of desperation because I wanted to be some girl's boyfriend so bad and I couldn't do a thing. I started to medicate myself with alcohol and pills and went to psychiatrist soon thereafter. He prescribed some meds but nothing was ever enough for me to heal that broken heart of mine. I went on to study psychology but never got a degree due to my first girlfriend's attempt to kill herself by stabbing a knife in her belly in my house on my birthday in front of my eyes...
That was the turning point in my life. I started using every street drug I could get my hands on and soon became dependent on benzos and opioids which continued to this day. Thank God for Suboxone and Klonopin. And Lyrica and Effexor too.
I'm 38 now, and I'm an amateur psychopharmacologist. I sincerely haven't met a psychiatrist with at least my level of knowledge and comprehension of neuroscience and psychopharmacology in my country(Croatia, EU). But no one takes my expertise seriously enough just because I haven't got a college degree in that field. But only God knows that I've been studying it for 20 years now every single day and it is my "special interest" that all us aspies seem to have...
So this is my story and I just needed to share it with anyone who takes the time to read it.
Take care and God bless us all.
Petar Mikulić
As we say in Scotland, 'ooft!'. Thanks for sharing that dude. Sending you my best wishes. And give my love to your wonderful country (i visited Zagreb following the Scottish football team). Love the place and the people!
Thank you very much dude! You live in a beautiful country too and I would really like to visit and see your beautiful hills and valleys and the greenest grass...
I wish you all the best and as we say in Zagreb, bok prijatelju! (Bye my friend:)
May I ask, impartially: is there a reason why you remain undiagnosed? Are you wary of seeing a specialist or something?
Petar Mikulić Thanks for sharing that. Blessings to you.
@@jarredkennedy6131 He knows. He is a very well read man. And, as a mother of a recently diagnosed's 24 Aspie, who thinks exactly the same about women (they are absolutely so, so, so beautiful, that be loved by one of them is an imposible dream), I can tell you, he is. Still, my son had tried and suceded getting some friends at college, friends, nothing more but has cost him a lot of anxiety and depression. Time will tell and we are doing our best to get him to have a normal live.
I've watched this vid several times over the last couple of years and find it so moving. May I suggest to anyone who is looking for a 'fix' of hope right now that you watch the programme that british zoologis, broadcaster and writer Chris Packham made for the BBC called 'Aspergers and me' in 2017 it is available here in RUclips. It is a recognisable and at times challenging journey full of insight, information and hope especially towards the end. We are the 1 to 2% and we are making significant contributions to making the world a better place when we find a niche for our partifular skills which is such a good thing. We the 'neurodivergent' are the future if the world makes allowances for us rather than trying to make us like them! Take care. Hx
I have two kids on the spectrum. There’s a struggle for sure but they’re existence makes my life beyond meaningful.
Thanks for sharing and may you continue to be an amazing puzzle that completes this ever evolving world ❤️.
@Jane lane
Why do you keep sabotaging yourself?
Life is only miserable if we choose to live in misery as you're doing by continually telling yourself having difficulties makes life miserable.
According to neurology 95% of the time you are unconscious and automatically do what you put in your subconscious. Repetition puts things in the subconscious, say/write something again and again and you'll live that way for 95% of your life, try and put the positive things in your life in your mind.
The only reason I overcame my struggles is because I didn't sabotage myself, I continually told myself I'm just as good as others around me. I became an adult and accepted my limitations and focus on my strengths.
Everyone, including you, have both strengths and weaknesses.
@@jokezofwisdom5163
One of the best ways to help your children is keep encouraging them they're just as good as everyone else and focus on their strengths.
Repetition makes us do things unconsciously, so if you repetitively tell them positive things and that Autism won't destroy their lives that can prevent them sabotaging themselves.
I don't see Autism as a set of symptoms, I see Autism as a condition of authenticity that underlies those symptoms which will only occur when a suitable environment is not available.
Hypersensitivity for example, that's because of additional stimuli, people nonautistic can be overstimulated as well, so is overstimulation actually a part of Autism or just a diverse reaction to an unsuitable environment or situation? I'd say the latter.
@Jane lane
I have never met you in person and I do know some things about you as you demonstrate them in your messages to people.
You think Autism is not good at all.
You keep writing your experiences are a disability (being sexually abused, not holding a job) is not a symptom of Autism.
Instead of helping people come to a solution you make them doubt and sabotage their children.
You never say anything positive.
You've done all of that right in front of my face, so I haven't made any assumptions about you unless you're just pretending to be Autistic, which I doubt.
@Jane lane
You're repetitively writing bad things concerning Autism, that's sabotaging yourself because you're programming yourself to automatically think Autism is a bad thing.
There are so many negative comments here, and largely from the ASD community, which is sad. I do feel that they have been misled by society into believing that there is something 'wrong' with being on the spectrum. There isn't, but there is plenty 'wrong' with a society which has been taught to believe there is.
I am the mother of a 40 year old son, who has recently been diagnosed as having ASD. He has had a tumultuous life, suffering massively from anxiety, he has made numerous suicide attempts, struggled with drug addiction, been unable to 'fit in', in any way other than academically. And even there, he has been viewed as 'odd'. He would, however, never have gone to be tested, if my granddaughter ( now 12) hadn't, as a small child, exhibited the exact same odd behaviours as he did, and was, as a result, diagnosed as having ASD.
Her mother, my daughter, took the view that she did not want her child labelled. She took her out of regular school, and let her create her own curriculum. A brave, but incredibly productive, decision. The result now, is a happy child who has revealed noticeable talent in the performing arts, singing, dancing, acting. However, in order to follow these passions, she has had to learn how to read and write, (both texts and music). She is particularly adept at textual analysis....she finds it fun. She has also had to learn how backstage works in a theatre, learning about lighting, sound effects, props, costume design, make up, hair styling, creating backdrops. This in turn, has led to her needing to understand mathematics, basic engineering, technologies. This would never have happened at school, where she would have been expected to follow the curriculum, and floundered from the start. The anxieties of her early childhood are now, for the greater part, gone. She knows she is different from her peers, but accepts that it is her differences which make her who she is. If another person can't accept them, then they don't 'have to' interact with her. She won't be offended. Her friends think she's weird, but incredibly kind, funny and interesting. She doesn't mind being weird, she embraces it.
I now wish I'd known that my son was on the spectrum all those years ago. I hope I would have had the courage to do the same for him then. All I can do now is to try to help him see that there isn't anything 'wrong' with being the way he is. There is everything 'right'. He just sees and feels things differently......but it is specifically that, which makes him interesting, and a valuable asset to the world. We neurotypicals can learn a lot from the autistic community. We don't all have to be clones of each other.
Autism doesn't need to be 'cured'. It isn't an illness. It's an expression of total personal honesty ......and what exactly is ' normal' anyway????
I, for one, really enjoyed and related to this video.
Agreed.
Thank you Margaret for your detailed and thoughtful comments. I am at least a bit Aspie myself. on occasions my (now EX) wife would tell me that I am not 'normal'. As you can imagine that in itself wasn't particularly helpful. It was only by reading one of Tony's books that I really discovered what Aspie was. I read it like a novel and every few pages I would recognise traits mentioned as things I sometime s did or felt. One of the most difficult aspects was when under pressure (emotional intelligence) my mind goes completely blank. Enjoy your granddaughter and I hope she will thrive in the future.
Yeah being autistic myself I find the comments on here hurtful and insulting as I have problems everyday with sensory processing and communication with people on a daily basis. And I don't know how to make the pain from sensory processing stop it really hurts. And that's why I'm insulted at the comments I agree with you on that one
Thank you so much, I am in tears; I always suspected my son to be on the spectrum, a doctor told me when he was little he was just a little bit on the spectrum and we didn’t need to do anything, when I took him to be evaluated years later, the psychologist told me, he has all the traits but he didn’t need the “label.” No the label, he needed the help, I became a counselor, and I suspected more he has Asperger’s, now he is 24 back home, with so much emotional pain and heart broken. Your story help me so much. I finally felt understood.
Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well. He now respond to name, point at what he wants and call mama/papa.
As an aspie myself I feel really proud of my condition, everyone that knows me says I'm an unpolished diamond, I make amazing stuff all the time, I always feel the urge to create, to invent and to learn, the unpolished part comes from my lack of communication skills and how far I can push myself in order to finish something I've been working on, sometimes dismissing health, hygiene and basic stuff like eating or mental health. Though saying that Asperger is the next evolutionary step is just pushing it, I would hate that all the people i knew behaved like me, I have so many flaws, so many many flaws and make so many basic mistakes that other people without Asperger wouldn't do. We're the way we are (all of humans on earth) because of biological reason that go beyond our individualism. We all are a community, all humans are part of the same organism evolved to overcome the nightmare that death is. We should all accept ourselves and each other and work in the best way posible to live the happiest lives and not destroying our future generations in the process.
@ Arturo Rincon
This is an absolute gem of a comment. Thank you so much! x :) :) :)
Many comments on this page indicate that aspies are just a susceptible to tribal mindsets as allistics. This is something we ALL need to be vigilant towards. Spread the love and harmony!
I'm an Aspie and I'm absolutely blessed to be like this ❤️ Happy in my own skin now but it was hard growing up.
samanthers I am autistic too, I hated myself awhile back, after someone broke up with me, but I am now comfortable in myself because I now know who I am...
@@pleasedontkillmyvibe2774 that's awesome! Keep on doing you :)
samanthers thank you and you look pretty.... normal😂
could it be that a man is more likely to stay unhappy, being an Aspie? I was diagnosed to have it a few months ago. It makes sense. I was unhappy the last 2 decades as far as I can remember and now the diagnose makes the perspective even more bad for me (also in regards finding a woman..)
David Brunner keep your head up dude I completely understand how you feel. The unhappiness, the potential of finding a partner...the lack of social awareness!
Life is tough for us aspies.
As an Aspergian, I deeply appreciate anything that encourages my faith that having Asperger’s can actually help me along my evolutionary path. Thank you so much, Dr. Attwood. 👍🏻
you are stupid okay thanks
i love you so much mike
Diagnosed at age 65, but it still changed EVERYTHING for me. My son has it too, he was diagnosed at age 30. I make a point of telling him positive things about it.
Nowadays I smile when people tell me I'm the weirdest person they've ever met.
weird or what we say too complex to their tiny simple brain
Diagnosed going on 62 in 2020 here. A relief which makes it so much easier for me to treat myself with care and mindfulness. A big change for me, too and I believe for everyone being assessed and diagnosed. Better late than never. The suicide rate among us, especially female autistics is horrendously high.
It truly is a gift to have Aspergers! Intelligent, tallented, very honest and high moral values. And my friends are friends for life. I keep my promises like keep their secrets, pray for them, etc. People that are neurotypical can sometimes be a bit shallow socially. But its mostly to hide their own insecurities. And they can teach us socially acceptable behaviour, and we can be their best friends. And we can teach them self-acceptance. We are all special and we all have a role in this world. No matter whether we have Aspergers, are neurotypical, or what the case may be. All of us are flawed in some way, but we shouldn't let our flaws determine who we are, what we are capable of, or our value.
Beautifully said! 💕
This was beautiful to read. Thanks you .
❤️
VERY good comment!
You got a thumbs up from an Aspergers here.
A 'gift' when you're born to parents who can afford to pay for that delusion.
It's a good thing that there are people who diagnose it very early and take measure to cope with it on an early stage.
When I grew up there was no measure's taken. Everyone simply left me as I was.
I didn't pay attention in class, because I didn't see the point. In the last 7 years of school, I just sat there and didn't do anything at all.
And my parents and teachers all thought that things would improve given enough time. But in reality I felt abandoned, that I was invisible and I often didn't speak to people for months on end.
All the negative emotions, I had to handle on my own. But, I learned how to cope with them and things have improved.
But, socially I'm still kinda awkward, and I still dont know how to maintain a relationship with another human being. But I'm still hoping that I'll get there someday.
You're a brave and determined person - keep going forward!
Gifts? The way my children have been treated by other kids and adults, the world doesn’t deserve the gifts they may have.
I am coming to realize that this explains my childhood. My mom said that I didn't want to be held. I had speech problems as a kid and I got therapy and I haven't shut up since. I had social issues when I started kindergarten. I was able to make friends in one on one situations. I had a good social life in late high school and was dating. I nearly developed a relationship but she stopped as I had already signed up to go to the Air Force. Once in the AF, I had problems dealing with a whole new social setting.
Jefff,
Social situations work in both directions.
If you haven't done so, look up the 'double empathy problem' proposed by Dr Damian Milton. Studies have shown autistic people can socialise with other autistic people, and nonautistic people struggle to read autistic people, like they misinterpret an autistic person's emotions.
Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well. He now respond to name, point at what he wants and call mama/papa.
Strange title for this video. Remembering, of course, that evolution doesn’t necessarily “improve” an organism-it’s a blind mechanism that selects individuals with marginally increased probability of survival and reproduction contingent to the environment. On the species population level, over generations, certain traits may be sacrificed for others. This is the economics of biology. General intelligence, for example, could increase or decrease according to existing selective pressures. Asperger’s is another complex trait that has utility in certain types of human endeavour, particularly in technically advanced cultures. That’s probably why it exists as a variant in populations. Calling it the next stage of human evolution is something of an overstatement.
My husband is an Aspie and I wouldn't have him any other way ❤
Friend, without revealing anything too personal, can you tell us why you "wouldn't have it any other way"?
My brother-in-law is on the spectrum. I am a trained anthropologist and would love to share some anecdotal incidents that might be similar to your experiences.
@@alicetulllyhall1 ,He doesn't lie,there is no deception in him...this sometimes leads to people thinking he is rude but I love the honesty.
All the tiny things that most men would never notice he does bc he is very detail oriented. He remembers everything, every date, every special occasion (even if it's not overly special)
We have never had an argument. He is always willing to listen to my thoughts ,even if he disagrees with my point of view.
I love his mind and thought process.
Do you have a sister?!
@@paulmryglod4802 unfortunately both of my sisters have passed away .
@@alicetulllyhall1 I could talk about all of it for days.
I have what was called Aspergers (high-functioning Autism plus anxiety) and I was bullied all the way through school because I reacted so easily. But, now I am in Medical science university studying a Biomedical science, which I only found out now is one of the hardest courses ever in uni and for a good reason and I am 30yrs old. In your 20s you can start to learn about yourself and more importantly I seek help from NDIS and my parents.
Yes some days I hate my autism, but I wouldn't change it at all because it is me despite my learning difficulty.
This story is heart warming. I admire The Attwood family. They have shown that understanding is LOVE. They have shown how everyone should simply LOVE others. Try to understand others. It's absolutely beautiful. I wish them all the best. And I am thankful for their contribution to the science of understanding. Thank you. God Bless!
I am not personally familiar with anyone who has Asperger's. But I believe that many people are misdiagnosed to be seen as dysfunctional to society for reasons of not fitting into the pigeon hole. Just as there are many types of people...like day/night people. Society works around more for those prone to be day people. And for some of us who are night people, we may rely on medicine to function as day people. It's not that there is a problem, it just doesn't fit well in a particular situation. Yet in some areas of the world there may be those who struggle to fit into the night schedule.
The labeling is unfair. Perhaps we are simply misplaced individuals? I don't know. But I believe we are the way we are for a purpose. Even if it is not fully understood.
Nyte Star,
Disability in general is context related, if we change the social settings who's seen as disabled changes. If we take the social changes make at the beginning of the recent pandemic, changing learning at school to remote learning at home. Parents of autistic children couldn't believe what they saw, they saw their children suddenly develop and learn as their natural selves as I predicted.
When we are in an environment that nurtures our needs more neural (brain) connections are made which increases development and abilities.
Positive Niche Construction prove it's the social and environmental settings that hinder their development and learning.
I don't believe asperger as such is a next step in human evolution; I believe it is an invaluable asset of humanity when culture deals well with it. I've got Asperger and can do what other people can't, but other people can do things I have much difficulty with. I am surrounded with friends who have learned (the hard way) about my advantages, and I have learned the hard way to trust and communicate well with them.
You are wise as well.
I was recently diagnosed with adult ADHD, and I'm awaiting assessment for Asperger.
The only thing that has kept me grounded is art; music, writing, painting, theatre, animation, photography, and graphic design, to name a few.
Never have I been able to maintain close relations; friendly or romantic. It's as if my entire existence is fleeting from one interest to the next.
A thing that's not common with Asperger, though, is my ability to communicate; I have no issues with body language, sarcasm, irony, facial expressions, tone, meaning, or anything like that. I understand people better than some understand themselves. However, this is due to my observant nature, I believe. Through observing have I learned how, and why communication works, and how to mimic it (I did theatre for nearly 10 years). I can fit in with anyone, anywhere, but it is very draining to do so, which is why I enjoy keeping to myself and my arts.
Without a need to socialise, or even have friends, I enjoy my time alone; however, I do feel lonely since I am unable to relate to anyone. "Self-imposed isolation" as Tony called it, is spot on.
I mentioned fleeting interests, which is true in the literal sense; I've done so many things I can't remember them all. A fire awakens in me, and I can spend hours upon hours researching, practising, and learning anything I can about my newfound interest (it can be anything from mixing cocktails to rock climbing). This can last for weeks or months, but eventually, the interest abruptly stops, and I must move onto a different subject. This has caused a lot of grief throughout the years, mostly in regards to maintaining jobs or staying in university. If I do not have the interest to be there, I literally cannot force myself to stay. The times I've tried, both my body and mind go dark; my energetic nature fades to nothing, and I eventually become bedridden for weeks until I gather myself again. My emotions rarely surface, but when they do, they do so strongly.
There is yet to be a place for me in this world, I've searched ever since I was a child, and I am no closer to finding my purpose.
So, hopefully, I can get answers.
You probably just have ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child and also misdiagnosed with Asperger's years later. They are two completely different neurodevelopmental disorders that may look the same on paper but are almost night and day different when seen expressed. Get over yourself, treat your ADHD and stop ruminating over your self like a preteen.
Sorry for being flippant, I know what you are going through and don't know enough to give you advice beyond "take it easy"
@@Doctor_Subtilis There is much more to it than what I wrote here. ADHD and Aspergers may often exist comorbidly; which is why my psychiatrist referred me to a neuropsychologist specializing in Asperger. ADHD I have no issues with; focus, clarity, and emotional stability (no outbursts) are well and good. Unable to form a close relation to anyone, being hyper-aware in social settings, emotionally distant, or perceived as cold or indifferent, having hyper-interests, and otherwise (what many see as) strange behaviour, are some of the things I want to figure out how to best deal with.
You sound like an amazing person who has knowledge on many subjects. If you keep going like this, your skillset will be on another level. You already have mastered many talents. There is something positive to this, I think.
Don't search too much , mate
I'm 48 and I was diagnosed just 2 years ago. My life's experiences have forced me create a kind of social adapter so I could at least appear to be neurotypical. But it's come at the cost of suboptimal mental health. My goal is to one day truthfully say that I am a happy person. I do count my blessing though and if it wasn't for my beautiful girlfriend who loves and supports me, I probably wouldn't be here.
The only superpower aspergers has ever given me is the ability to never once feel heard or truly understood. I've been alone for 32 years and surrounded by people who think they know me. I'm unbearably lonely and tired of feeling this way. The only reason I'm still breathing is that I want to see how the story ends.
Maybe Jacob, you're looking at this situation the wrong way? I'm 67, undiagnosed but I'm pretty darn sure that I'd 'get a diagnoses with flying colours' if you know what I mean. Your description of people only thinking they know you but being completely, not understood by them, describes my life as well.
I used to think I should have friends (because THEY say we all need friends right?) and every effort to make friends just seemed to crater and I felt awful. I felt awful because I had no friends, I felt awful trying to make friends and I always felt awful when they never reciprocated my efforts and interest in being friends. One day I just quit trying. Decided I was happier without all that effort (and failure) and that was the day my attitude changed and I embraced my solitude and my peaceful life.
Maybe you've been trying too hard all your life to fit in and it would feel better if you just quit trying so hard to be something you're not. I hope you find your peaceful path someday.
Me to but now I am older I don’t even try to fit in I live my alone and hardly see people unless I go out ! And I am very content that way !
@@gayeinggs5179 I often joke that I get all the socializing I need when I'm checking out my groceries at the store. Chit chat with the cashier and I'm good for a week.
Well said, Jacob.
This title made me mad. And all the people who state that they wouldn't want to be neurotypical, they wouldn't want it any other way... Well, good for them, but they shouldn't make it sound like it's the norm, and spread it as if it's the general experience for autistic people, making people forget that others might really suffer.
It's not a gift or something that makes you special in an endearing way. It's a disability.
All I've ever wanted was to love and be loved, be safe and feel accepted, but none of that has come true. I'm so lonely it hurts, and knowing that's not going to change, possibly ever, makes me not want to live.
I don't like the descriptions NTs put on aspies we have affective empathy we just speak neurologically a different language, I figured this learning English for the first time , If you don't speak the language you can't interact me my dad and my brother are on the spectrum we can empathise affectively and she is left out of the loop she cannot read our body language, so there are places where you can learn these social cues but I advise you to pick up a second language like say russian or greek as it is sufficiently different to English as it will compell you to practice that form of learning.
I have Asperger’s. It is a blessing and a curse. I try to make the best of it. Been learning to manage the syndrome. I’m learning more how to socialize.
I'm sure Nts feel this way as well .
It’s a nightmare. I’m autistic. I wouldn’t wish the constant terror on anyone
TheEgg Man my son has Aspergers and I would not wish it on anyone else too.
@@wombatlittle1 what would you say is the worst thing about having it? I'm trying to understand my brother, he won't let me in or get close to knowing him better. Thanks and I'm sorry you feel the way you do. Try to think of the positive traits you have . I'm sure you have many. We, me and most people are bever happy with the way we are. Love yourself!!! Hugs to you !!!!
It's horrible watching my son suffer because he can't communicate with me
Danielle marie As someone who is high functioning autistic my new theory is that but your son is experiencing is waves of terror 10 times worse than the ones I experience and therefore he can’t communicate.
same, got bipolar. I know I won't live much longer given i'm at high risk for dementia. Fun times.
I barely manage to fit into society and holding down any kind of job is impossible. Yet the system only cares about forcing me to do things which cause me anxiety and distress which overwhelms me. How is this a gift?
I think my son has it and he is a gift as you. Society wants everyone to be a carbon copy. Just be yourself and learn to enjoy your difference that's what makes you you. If someone doesn't like it then that's their problem. See what you enjoy and your gifts unique to you then look for a job. I like people who are different not afraid to be themselves. First be your best friend, then in time things will fall into place. Prays and love on your new beginnings. Remember each day is a new start.😍
I was fortunate in that my symptom matched a need. I can write programs for Programmable Logic Controllers quickly and easily.
People have paid me to do something that I would pay good money to be allowed to do.
The downside for me is a sensitivity to noises so I spend most of my time with a pair of noise cancelling earbuds and a set of noise cancelling headphones over them. People just assume that I am listening to Simon and Garfunkel when I am enjoying the sound of silence.
@@PreciousLynn Absolutely, HE is a gift. But pretending that something that people struggle and suffer with is a gift is unhelpful at best.
@@PreciousLynn Being unique and an individual aren't the same as being autistic. Flor me being autistic is constantly feeling anxious, struggling to focus and listen to people, constantly zoning out and missing time in my day and having no idea where I went. The worst part is the loneliness and emptiness, I've never been married and rarely meet anybody and spend 99% of my life alone!
@@John_Lyle I have a problem with sounds as well as textures and scents, I can't go near beaches as the feeling if sand goes right trough me and makes me quiver. Artificial or bright lights give me migraine and shops with a lot of scents make me feel sick to the stomach and light headed!
I am 77 and only just found out I have Asperger. Done many things in life because of it not despite it. It is a gift not a disability
It’s ruined my ability to interact with others from the day I was born, please tell me how that’s a gift.
Its a "gift" to a VERY small portion of those who have it. You're one of the lucky ones.
I sure as shit hope I don't live to 77!
I talk about this all the time! The only reason it seems like a disability is bc humans have designed society in a way that is very stressful for people with autism. I think that if there was a world that was designed for people with autism, ie, laws about how loud things can be, schools and workplaces with minimal stimuli, and career development would be much less reliant on networking and much more reliant on ones actual abilities
carina earl I agree. My son cannot "network" and nuero/typicals don't get it.
Ugh - from my POV you misunderstand disability and autism and do everyone an injustice even though you half get it and have goodwill. Are you willing to be challenged and read some discussion on this point?
Being blind is only a disability because people cannot respect _white canes_ nor publish books and newspapers in braille or audio or screenreader-friendly format as easily and cheaply as they can give people glasses. Being unable to walk _only_ seems like a disability because the world has _too many steps_ in it and not enough lifts and winches. Hmm? These are some sarcastic parallels with other kinds of disability that are not unkind, nor entirely ironic nor untrue, though they are a little simplified. This is the social model of disability. But then not everyone thinks like, me nor likes the word nor idea of disability, nor being associated with it. It is a hugely controversial area with no single answer, but all at best working towards respect as humans and more than needs being met, an equal opportunity to thrive. That is what the Americans with Disabilities Act and other disability equalities legislation in the US and elsewhere has been about.
A signing Deaf person in Deaf community may suffer no isolation or impairment, and not regard themselves or identify as disabled. I understand and respect that approach - as I do with yours: it is their right and they make a point, as do many other activists whether they consider themselves disabled or not. Sometimes accessibility is the only issue; the barriers posed by others are the only issue. I agree with you that far. But there is more to say.
There is a massive problem in seeing disability legislation being more than law and in protecting, maintaining and extending it. There is a problem with bad attitudes anyway, the reason we need that legislation. People with disability are a category of people with needs that are problematised, mythologised, Othered, seen as less than others or undue extra work which equates to less than human and not deserving of such consideration so it is an uphill struggle gaining accessibility and consideration in society as a whole for anyone with disability. The problem is stigma and othering of disability, seeing disability as a bad thing in itself rather than a legitimate need that people have as legitimate right to help with as any other need in society. There should not be a quota of limitation on duty of care. Nor respect.
Its like: how silly is it that glasses are not considered the same way that a white cane is!? Think technically!? Both are important living aids for a person with less sight. But which would you feel was more symbolic of something if you were losing your sight? Does this attitude make it easier for anyone? What about a car, a walking stick, a wheelchair, a hoist: which feels more stigmatised to you? Is this fair? Perhaps you can recognise that distaste and distance from the needs of disabled people only make it easier for people who do not want to think about or make room for disabled people as people. Fully accessible toilets are quite rare in the UK. As are decent pavements. Every wheelchair everywhere who is not rich struggles to afford the equivalent of sportshoes and walkingshoes: more than one correct wheelchair for particular needs. There is only profiteering. As in medication needs too, often. And if the US companies get even greater hold of our NHS in the UK, everyone will be in that sort of boat, just for needing regular medication.
I do not want to throw any other disabled, ill or otherwise othered/marginalised person/body under the bus out of spite like micropenis Hitler did. First they came for the disabled people, but I pretended I was not disabled!? NO! They started with killing people under austerity related excuses in asylums, Hans Asperger also marking some for death, to then start eugenic experimentation and mass extermination of many millions of Jews, and of others in lesser numbers. Solidarity is important in resisting this. And more than that people with accessibility needs have every right to thrive: as HUMAN BEINGS we all have needs AND would like full access to respect and also to society as and when WE choose. Disability stigma and body stigma (including that directed at neurological/mental differences, and also pain and illness, psychotic experiences and distress) need to do one. End of. IMHO. We need solidarity with the whole gamut of humanity. We owe everybody basic duty of care. Let us not go: not us, them!
And pain (like painful sensory issues that can and do happen independently of manmade problems) and other illness and syndrome or condition like schizophrenia, diabetes, allergy, cancer, broken bones, macular degeneration, this medical side of things, needs more acknowledgment, duty of care without prejudice or profiteering. I think it is not all medical or all social for anyone - unless you consider all problems as just something human we have not fixed with treatment yet. And there eugenics related problems with that conception of things as well, particularly if agency is not given more importance or if disabled lives themselves are not destigmatised and regarded as lesser, too much or otherwise horrid and revolting meanwhile.
We need less stigma and bias and mythologising on the medical model side too. Along with accessibility. It is all tied up together with smashing the patriarchy and trumped up notions of supremacy or merit!
Too often somehow weakness is depicted merely as a side effect of a brilliant white persons mind gone awry which they must somehow overcome and cope with on their own anyway to prove their humanity or die alone and unmedicated/housebound/in despair as if because they are letting the side down; and black and brown people thus spurned, insulted and ignored even more so but given less pain medication and less accurate diagnoses by those in power, and historic economic inequalities and more give less power to buy in access. This is all demonstrable current fact with its roots in centuries of colonial and capitalist propaganda. Society based too far on blame, power and competition. Solidarity is important in resisting this.
(I am a socialist that is me, it is the politically formalised reaction for mutualism rather than all of that competitive nastiness which doesn't care and it is therefore the instinct that saves society, allows it to work and progress to greater justice under new circumstances, dynamics and pressures: think of trade unions, the NHS, sick pay, health and safety, weekends, breaks, maternity pay, emancipation, the universal franchise - rather than soviet and chinese authoritarianism that called itself communism: another variant by other means of that same grotesque game of King of the Hill. I am also a pacifist and not very patriotic: I think security comes through securing a peaceful and positive focus on the needs of human beings and the planet to live and thrive indefinitely, doing minimal harm now or to future prospects, whether they are in our circle of experience and trust or not. Whether we think like them or not.)
Disability is currently by definition liked to stigma as a category based in medical condition, access need, or social acceptability problem which refers to people with needs we might not meet and that society does not always like to think of or see nor think worthy of helping: we as society give ourselves permission to either give those people more or less effort and sympathy relative to their needs. But we are those. And it is not just or right anyway. Solidarity is important in resisting this. People are people: we need to stop stigmatising the idea of disability, accessibility needs, care needs, difference, illness, intellectual disability or weakness; stop it being dehumanising or a terrible lesser form of humanity in the eyes of society! We cannot do it just like that but we can work ourselves in that direction: we do also need to acknowledge and try to secure the needs of all human beings we are in community with. People are people.
Kathy Bramley idk how my last comment didn't get published. Ling story short. I have autism and have struggled my whole life to function in this society so who are you to judge my experience? I only began to be able to speak to people normally in my 20s, and am in a constant state of recovery from how loud the world is.
Kathy Bramley also I have read loads on the subject as well as thought special ed and have several friends with autism. We have had many conversations about the exact thing I posted. Did you even stop to consider that maybe I was even watching this video bc I have autism myself, and that maybe dissing what I had to say would be dissing the experience of a person with a disability?
I got experimented on because autism made me an easy target. All degrees of autism are much worse than ailments.
This Dr. Attwood - I like him - he has a brilliant and empathetic soul. I always wished my parents could love and understand me. I have accepted that it won't happen, and have come to terms with that fact and found others who do.
I once read that atypical is becoming the norm. It's more of "them" than us. I have a 29 year old with autism and I have accomplished more by entering into his world than by trying to make him understand mine. Being able to immerse in and explore his world has been really fascinating. It's been an amazing journey discovering his ways of thinking, his abilities and talents, and his efforts to fit in this weird social environment of ours.
The 'world' of his malformed tiny mind.
I have a few diagnoses and quirks as well as family heritage which points the way towards autism. And I am on the cusp of grasping what i should do with myself, at age 28. The key for me was acceptance and a supportive environment, both inside and outside.
I have been surrounded by others who may not have had the insight into neither me not themselves. It made for a lot of challenges growing up. For the longest time, all the abuse I have been put through made me hate cleaning and organising my living spaces. I have suffered a lot of abuse whenever i got too distracted to organize myself. I never learned to find my own dignity in staying organised, it was always a tyrannical straightjacket for me. For the longest time, use of executive function made the memories of my former failures in the eyes of others come to the surface. So I always procrastinated, and I ended up turning off my own inner judgement of whether or not i was doing the right thing - i just wanted to avoid that pain, and i have been a clown to make sure people don't expect me to be organized. it was not until recently - after a long life of constant "would should could" that i finally started to nurture what i truly want. And from a time of living a life I wanted for myself sprung an eventual desire to do what i deemed dignified. Now, cleaning up after myself is much easier, because the trauma associated with facing my mess was adressed. I am acutally a fairly dilligent person, but i never learned that because of my bred-in resentment towards being organised like that.
Learning to seek self-dignity on my own terms has been a huge aid in executive function as well. Nowadays I can even plan something i would otherwise not like to do, but doing what is most dignified gives me a great pleasure and pride of myself, and I feel so much more self-assured, so much more powerful. And it also makes me more free and has resensitized me to stress. Now I can actually feel my stress building if i need to do something, now it's a motivation to act instead of it always just "being there" in the background for me to desperately push away. that happens now as well, but to a MUCH lesser degree.
When you grow up different your environment may shape you into thinking the worst about yourself. There are a lot of times when you have to do things you don't wish to, more so than those who are neurtypical. So it is my firm belief that if you are a neurotypical you become an expert at hiding part of yourself, not just from others but from yourself as well. But there is so much potential in being neurodivergent, the only thing needed is to allow one's own unique energy and life spark to flow into you, and to appreciate it like a sacred, secret well.
I have a close friend with four boys, her eldest has Aspergers. What she, her husband and the other 3 boys went through was excruciating for more than 20 years. (He eventually improved and the medication is apparently working.) She adores her son and in many ways, he is very smart- but I watched the toll it took on her and the entire family. Her son is definitely a gift, of course, but is Aspergers a gift? It isn’t just the person with it that has to deal with it every day- so does the parent, the siblings and many others. What they go through can be so much more than some people realize. It sounds swell in a 45 minute documentary- but it’s another thing when it’s real life and you can’t change the channel. Let’s not glorify the challenges that many people and families face. There is a difference between unconditional love and acceptance- and glorifying and applauding a difficult condition. I feel it’s insulting to people with it- and the people who love and support them. The strain and difficulties they often deal with, someday for decades, seems to be drowned out in this program by all the applause and cheering. Sorry if it’s not a popular opinion, but I can’t change what I saw for myself.
Well said!
W Hoggdoc thank you for that. I tried to be respectful , while still disagreeing with a lot of this video. I expected to get some really nasty retorts because I wasn’t on the, “ band wagon”, you know? So thanks for that. 😊
I totally agree with you. I have a son on the autism spectrum and it has been difficult. I am tired of people glorifying this neurological disorder and calling it a blessing, a gift or whatever. For me, these documentaries, tv-series and movies about autistic geniuses downplay what dealing with this condition is really about.
luz maria correa cassinelli oh thank you for sharing that. I’m so glad you understand what I meant. I give you so much credit for the struggles you deal with every day. To me, it doesn’t take anything away from the child- to admit that the disorder itself is difficult for them- and also for the people who love them. Your comment means a lot,; that someone like yourself, who has a son with this disorder, gets what I was trying to covey. It really does come from a place of compassion and respect- for everything parents in your position go through. Best wishes to you and your son. ❤️
I'm sorry that's been your experience. Not what my family experienced with my sister (and now niece) at all. The aspie in the family has a Ph.D., lectured at Oxford, was a well-respected teacher, and is a great wife and mother.
I saw a lecture by Temple Grandin, a professor and someone with Asperger's. Her advice was to find the kid's area of strength and let him focus his abilities in that area. She speculated that Silicon Valley was full of Asperger's computer geniuses.
Grandin's another lucky 'rainman'.
EI Ultimo,
Which makes perfect sense and I don't understand why employers won't accept such values. In Silicon Valley for example, it doesn't involve much socialising, it takes detail orientation, pattern recognition, seeing the system, analytical skills, remembering details instead of an overview.
These are great values for jobs like software testing and by not having to socialise social issues are not a problem, and doing the work the autistic one often finds beneficial and joyful.
@@williamoarlock8634
Temple Grandin is not a "lucky rainman".
She had speech delay, social issues, sensory issues, a specific passion for animals, was terrible at maths and most other academics.
Like other autistic people like myself, we worked to overcome our struggles and focus more on our strengths.
@@danielmoore4024 Some of us have ZERO strengths only struggles.
@@danielmoore4024 I wonder if Einstein would qualify. He was reportedly speech-delayed, and focused his brilliance on math, while supposedly having an IQ "only" in the 160s.
I've thought about this for some time. It's these aspects of our future evolution that some individuals experience ahead of their time, which clash with the more historical aspects of our traditional capabilities. It's this clash that is perceived as a disability, and yes, it is disabling; it has the hallmarks of disability. Yet, it is not a disability but, rather, a difference. However, that difference struggles to coexist with what we currently are. They are in conflict. It is the conflict that is disabling.
Well said.
Second that, well said.
Coming from someone who has Asperger's. It's a curse not a blessing I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I am low on the spectrum but not low enough....